Golan-Globus Theater
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (Zellweger and McConaughey)
[MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] Good morning, Goblins! This is only thanks to today! We're doing okay. Take two, it only took us two minutes before. Great! Thanks to Mike, if it wasn't here, we'd be fucked. It's only because I'm staring straight down the barrel of that laptop. I'm staring straight down the barrel of my mind spear to try to, you know, channel Murray's energy here. For those of you at home that don't know how this is set up, Tim and Griff have it set up so they're gazing into each other's eyes. Correct. And the guest is looking right at the laptop. Yes. I get a shot of both of them and these two just sit across from each other. Yes, we're stopping Stair Countess. The psychic energy that happens between us is, er, erotic. It's like a Vulcan mind, though. Sometimes, now, Mike can attest to this. The sidewalk is a good 300 feet away from where we record here. But sometimes people look over in our direction and we can watch them come in their pants. Yes. Our energy is that fucking... If the windows are cracked or open at all, you can see joggers coming down the road. And then they'll just, as they pass in front of your window and they might just catch faint noise from this house. It's true. You see them just clutch their groins and double over and pleasure. Yeah. You think they got hit by a football, but there's no football in sight, so you know what that means. It's the white sun. Hans Mollman, no where to be seen. No where to be seen. So what we were trying to do with the last opener we were talking about is we're getting into that last week's sweet 90s fashion energy that Murray, of course, despises. I despise the 90s in general. In general. Everybody else seems like... I should be my era. I was my late teens, early 20s. No, I hated it. That was the era I hated of my life. Mike, what is the era of your life you hated most? Oh, definitely the 2000s, man. Like the formative years. Yeah. Exactly. We're all integrated. The formative years were the fucking worst years. Well, it wasn't because of me. It was because of what was going on in the world. No, it's not about you. I hated the popular music. I hated the fashion. I just... What was it? The fashion. Are we talking... Low-waisted jeans. Low-waisted jeans. Yeah, like women wore low-waisted jeans and there was a lot of crop tops. Crop top. Their bellies were exposed. I feel like dudes wore a lot of carry pants. Cargo pants, yeah. Cargo pants are really big. Leached tips in your hair. Leached tips. That was the 2000s thing. It was more of a 90s. It was still early 2000s. It did. Double polos, I think, were starting to become a thing. Oh, yeah. But double pop collar was starting to become a thing. Oh, yeah. It was... I was like, this time I was so tuned out to the world. You weren't in high school. You weren't hanging around with teens. Oh, yeah. You were hanging out with teens at Larry's fucking... Girls, but another story. She says... But I was ready to make the greatest joke of all time. Because Murray was going on a whole fucking screen about ratios of human beings. Right. I don't. People misunderstand me. They think I have this hatred, this dislike of short people. That is not true. I don't care how tall you are. I don't care how proportionate your body is. That's right. You will have a stubby little Peter Dinky Dinklage body. I want a vomit. All right. I have problems with children, but not because of their size. They're proportionate. So I don't... Visually, they don't offend me. All right, right, right. So, no. If you're one of our listeners and you happen to be on the short side, but you're proportionate, you're free to listen. I won't do anything to you. But, yeah. Because we talk about when we go to... We go to another show. This is the most shows to be private. I've seen it a long time this year. Since COVID? Yeah. See word? All right, YouTube. Yeah, no. I've actually got like five shows lined up at this point. And the shows we go to attract a disproportionate crowd. I don't know what it is. I saw more than one tall midget. And by that, I mean, he was over five feet tall, but the body proportions were way off. The long torso, stubby legs. Yeah. And just a... It's like a Hanna-Barbera cartoon character. Basically, a little torso, no legs. It's unnerving. I will say to relieve you a little bit, because you're probably getting some people hot here. I hate necks. And some people have really awkward necks. You want somebody without a neck? No, I want there to be a neck. You have to have the right amount of neck. I know what you're talking about. Like, there's some people that have like a vulture neck. They have vulture neck. And it's real weird. No neck. Like, you gotta get that right? See, you're getting that. The ratios. That's all we're talking about. It's a... Yeah, I mean, your eye naturally wants to see something pleasing. And when things are off, like you said, I think in the one, that's what we had to scrap, it's Picasso. Yeah. It's pubis. It's human cubism. Yeah. Where you're just like, "There's something off about you." And it's unnerving. Right. That's what they say about certain architecture. Like, it's not a haunted house. It's just the proportions of the house unnerve you. Right. It's natural. Okay. Yeah. I will say that, you know, there's the yardstick that people pull out. You have to be this tall to ride this ride. Murray pulls around. I think it's called the Fibonacci sequence, you know, that golden ratio. He brings that everywhere with him. And he has it to human scale and he holds it up to a person and then he says, "No, get the fuck out of my sight. You're disgusting." That's... We did a lot of that Thursday. We did a lot of that Thursday. We saw a guy who looked completely normal in a sea of... We mentioned this, but we saw a hate breed was the main act. Yeah. The 30th anniversary. And we're not hate breeding. Holy shit. Ron Strowman. Huge hate breed fan, apparently. Yeah. Along with Icedy. And? Guy from Lamb of God. Charles Montgomery. Punk. Oh, yeah. I knew he was the fan. I did not. We did a little video beforehand. We showed everyone giving shout outs to hate breed. I didn't realize so. I wasn't there for that. I was there for the death metal band, class of death metal band, carcass. That's right. Very weird why they were on the bill, because the bill, the bill, because it was very much a hardcore show that you then you have like long hair death metal guys. I don't like that. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. And it was nice to see, because the lead singer of carcass, Jeff Walker, literally two like months ago, I was watching a video of them and some fast and he was rocking the skull it. Oh, was he? Yeah, because he shaved his head, finally, because it was that's good. I mean, it must be if you're like, you're all about your hair, because everyone knows I hate long hair. So I don't really give a shit that my hair is thinning him back. But when you're holding on to it, that's your identity is your long hair. And it starts falling. And then what I saw from a couple months, it was like from the front look like he had hair back gigantic bald spot. That's the that's the heart. I think I've brought this up before on the show, but I have a long standing agreement with my barber that if I get to the point where I'm thinning and it's looking like I'm hanging on, she's supposed to just say it's time and she's going to shave it. And I'll still be there for the regular visits to keep it, you know, cleaned up, but I don't ever want to be that guy that's walking around looking like he's hanging out into the glory days. It's hard. Yeah, it was. Yeah. So thankfully, he nut it up, he did it, and this is the thing I think is funny because these are like death metal guys, but he's still vain enough that he's dying his hair too. Oh, no. There's that one guy. That walker was? Yeah. Not when we saw him. It was great. I was going to say I was talking about what I saw. We had long hair. Gotcha. I'm sorry. And it was just like there's one old metal dude, um, but is it like dream theater or something like that? I don't know. But there's some one of those bands I don't listen to, but every time I see a picture of the dude on like flabber mouth or whatever, it's like, fuck man, you are clearly just poorly doing a bad job of dying your shit because it looks painted on. Yeah. Rudy Giuliani style. Oh, it's bad. Leaking down the face. Oh, the vein, you know, one thing I'm going to get on the night, I was not made a hate breed fan. I don't think I don't care enough I'm going to hate him or love him. They're kind of Switzerland. No, I'll give Jamie jazz to the, he's a good front man. Like he was getting the crowd hyped. I was going to say the only thing when I was trying to say it, but obviously we would have a yellow each other. I get sick of yelling because then my throat gets all blown out and I don't want that. So we have a show to do exactly. We have to keep our pipes fluffing clean. Expect a certain timber from our voice. Hello. I am right on that cusp of being offensive. If my voice gets any deeper, like, like we said, spontaneous ejaculation sappen. Even more so, it's going to be like that Howard Stern thing where people start listening to it sitting on their speakers. Yeah. Oh, I've already heard. No, we've got the pictures to prove that. There's a collage down in the laser disfaults and it's just, wait, is it collage when you put them all up together and you make like one photo of all the little photos? Yep. That's a little different, but yeah, I don't remember what that's called, but that's what we've done with it. Mosaic. Mosaic. Yeah, we've made a mosaic out of all that. So you guys, you're beautiful. Stop. We get it. Murray sexy. I'm right on that cusp of being offensively, you know, of bad quality voice. Like I'm right outside that golden ratio of voice. I guess. Oh, listen, you will never have the worst voice whenever I'm a guest. I have that nasally Midwestern, like to a T. Yeah, and it took me years to come to terms with that. Murray is a Buffalo boy. So of course he's got a great, hard American voice. I didn't even know how to speak when I was in Buffalo yet. I somehow picked up. You inherited it. Yeah. You sucked it up. Where's me and Murray sucked up all that Redford soil and now we've got these voices. What did I say? I like that. It's all right. I did the same thing last week. We did the same thing. I used to have someone in studios every fucking week. So yeah, we're having a good time. We went to a show. We saw a show. We got another show coming up. You'll get to hear about that more soon. Yes. I mean, speaking of the bills, we just, I just got done watching my team. Oh, man. That was the third worst thing that happened to me this week. I'm so sorry. Of course, I had a COVID scare. I'm okay. Yeah. I did not get COVID. I was around someone who had it. Very responsible human being. Our friend Murray over here. Very responsible. I don't want to give you guys. Exactly. I was pissed off that I might have had it and he got to fucking do the fucking no swab. It's the word. It always makes my eyes water. Is it two? Is it a deep one still? It doesn't have to go as deep, but yeah, it's not fucking your brain anymore. Yeah, but yeah, it's wrong. Is that a good Danzig song brain fuckers? I wish that was a Danzig song. Of course. The worst thing that happened to me this week. I had to watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre the next generation. Mike, I thought we were friends. We are. What the fuck? I'm frankly, I'm shocked you didn't have a good time because I had a great time watching this. There are two things I liked about this movie. One, under 90 minutes. Two, I got it all in one page of notes. So that was it. Everything else I was just like, I know that you know that I hate this movie. This is the first time I've ever seen it all the way through because I hate it. My opinion did not change. I know. I do not want you to take this personally, but this is all about the movie and my feelings about the movie. This is not my feelings about you in any way, but I am going to trash this fucking movie. I fully expected this to happen. I am ready to defend it. You're going to defend it. I legitimately enjoy this movie. Where would you put it on the scale of Texas Chainsaw Massacre? It's my third favorite. Third favorite. So two. It's obviously two. It goes two, one, and four. Yeah, of course. That's how everybody's order goes. I don't remember three enough to. I just recently watched that. I just recently rewatched that. There's a reason why you don't remember it because there's nothing memorable about it. Go to Orbat. The black guy from Donner the Dead is in it, right? Yeah. I remember that. Yep. Yeah. Have you seen all of the new ones, the 2000s? With this, I have completed my franchise rewatch. I held off on watching this one because I knew we were going to do it for the pod. Would you say, well, I mean, so well to say, for now, there's the classic era, which are the first four, and then there's the reboot era. What would you say any of the reboots are better than the classic era? The 2003 remake is better than three. Okay. That's it. The rest of the remake era are just total shit. Because I will say of the four franchises we're doing, this is my favorite franchise, but I will admit only two of the movies are good. The first two, but they're classic fucking movies. And the reason why I put these above the other three is because this could happen. Yeah. Right. That's why it's scary. Yep. And it probably has happened. You could meet some crazy retarded inbred people who want to eat you, kill you and eat. Because Michael Myers and Jason just kill you. These people kill you and then eat you, which is insult to injury. I mean, I got to say, for my home theater days, for a decade, I was driving across Michigan, Northern Ohio. I worked in Boston some. There's people who live in houses that are just this fucking creepy. Oh, yeah. I've had to part, like, this person had an open field of litter for their cast of shit in their basement. Literally just litter, scattered across the basement. And they're like, I had to do a full fucking, they spent like $1,200 to get us through doing speakers and everything and I'm going through to drill up into the priorities. I have money for my speakers, but they can't, but the base bit. Yeah. We go to, we do our laundry and we part the litter with shit and piss. Oh, it was the craziest fucking experience. You should have the right to refuse to like install it. I mean, with all that sanitary, I was going to say with like, we know that pregnant women are not supposed to clean a litter box because of the ammonia and the piss and all that shit. That's what I had to deal with that whole fucking day was the stank of the crystals activating and the his smells, the shit smells and the fact that you're stepping a fucking kitty litter trying to work. So yeah, I'm low kitty layers, kitty shit. Yeah, it's insane. Yeah, I said that. Oh, but yeah. So I'm like sharding, you know, cutting into wood and everything. I'm just letting everything go anywhere and I'm like, complain, please, please send a picture of improvement, sending a send a picture of this to my manager and be like, your boy left the mess for me. And it's like, where's the mess? I see cat shit piss living. Right. What are we talking about? How did I get here? I'm just so sorry. Anything that comes out of a cat is ten sign worse than anybody else. The cat piss and shit reeks. Yeah, it's really bad. And they they go from kitten mode to adult cat mode. And when they hit adult cat mode, you're like, Oh my fucking God, I hate you forever now. We're the comic shop and we would buy a collection from a cat owner. We would always process that shit in like a different area. Oh, really? Normally we'd get a collection and we'd process it like right on the main showroom floor get people excited like, Oh, new collection. When it was like a cat owner, we'd be like, no, we're just we're doing this somewhere else. We don't really permeates that badly. And it just like cat owners are wild because a lot of them let their cat. There are no rules for their cats, right? Like dog owners, like we're pretty lax with the rules for our dog, but cat owners, a lot of them are like, there are no rules whatsoever. So the cats will be on their comics, pissing the shit in on the boxes, covering it in hair. It's fucking nasty, dude. Oh, yeah, but comic book owners, if you have a cat, you're on alert. We're watching you. How do we get here? Oh, we're talking about creepy people, squalor, squalor, which is what these people in this movie live in. Oh, right. Cause you were saying the realism of the Texas Chainsaw universe, whereas the other people are like super natural. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think Freddie and, uh, not Freddie, but Jason and Michael most started out, you know, but then they got killed and like, how do we get back? Then they've added the super natural. I'm so excited, uh, Redford's doing nightmare and I'm shaped one soon and I've loved that movie. It's great. Move. It's so fucking good. And so I'm excited. Bitch. I'm excited to go. Oh, this is pre bitch. It is pre bitch. Um, but what was I going to go with this one? How, how do, how do I like this movie? Cause it is the redheaded stepchild with, uh, ungodly proportions. Well, I know. There's one thing I did like about it. Is it Barry? Cause I liked Barry. No, I don't like it. I think what they do in the 2000s is where it's like a whole family, like extended family with a grandma and little kids. I like this, the three retarded brothers live out in the middle of nowhere. They're doing their sick, the brave shit to people on grandpa's in the attic. But so they went back to that in this one. Yeah. This is just the three brothers and grandpa. I don't even know if grandpa was it, he was the guy who just stumbled in why it's like the pizza. Cause I don't know what's going on with grandpa. It is like Peter Boyle showing up. This is everybody loves Raymond. What am I doing here? Was that that guy? It was not that guy. Oh, okay. Who cares? So yeah, that's one thing I liked about it. Okay. Why did you come to like this movie? When did you see it? Was this the first one you saw of the series? It was. Okay. It was. But that's not I've been going through the series again and taking nostalgia out of it. Yeah. This would still score high without nostalgia for me. Okay. I was going to say I haven't watched any other movies. I would be so interested. Yeah. This is not, don't be wrong. This is not a perfect movie and not everything in this movie makes sense, but there's a lot to like about it. I held up the Fibonacci sequence. It's far outside the fucking ratio, dude. That's fine. That's why I said. This is a very disproportionate movie. That's why I said this one's going to be a trick. I knew the chances. I thought maybe there was like a 33 and a third percent chance that I might like it. I knew Tim wasn't going to come around on it. Yeah. Well, we must say this is the only Texas chance on a manuscript movie to have not one but two Oscar winners. That's true. And they sucked in this movie for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was atrocious in this movie. Yeah. I, well, you know what? This brings me to the one fucking topic I had here. I just watched Messiah of Evil. Uh-huh. I said that right. Yeah. Yeah. Let's hire fucking creeps again. And I don't even mean this to be like. There's plenty of creeps going around. They're just, you know, maybe if we hired more creeps, they wouldn't be shooting up schools anymore. I'm just putting it out there. Like they'd have a purpose in life. Murray had. Hot today. Yeah. He has dropped the soft R a couple times. He dropped a hard-hearted. You're the one who's complaining about, we need to bring it back. I'm bringing it back. I do that. Oh my. Yeah. That makes it better. Right. I told you, Chris, the villain of the show. I'm the villain of the show. I say all the horrible things off my because I know how to stay babyface. I'm like, unlike this beast over here. It's born a wheel. That's it. I don't know. But I just watched that movie. The great Bernie Robinson, one movie that's all he did. Pell tall Abino. And they did great shots with him and he was creepy as shit in that movie. Why can't we do this anymore? Why are we like, no, let's cast Matthew McConaughey to be a fuck creepy dude. Is it because we're getting too woke? Is it like we can't, we can't stigmatize these types of people that look odd, strange, whatever. I don't know. But you got to remember at this time, Matthew McConaughey wasn't Matthew McConaughey. Who cares? He's still an objective. Well, high character would have worked if he had, because he's a handsome guy. Yeah. You'd be the guy who lures people and he's batshit from the jump, like there's no transition. Yeah. And yet people accept him, even though he's totally odd as fuck. Right. Well, I think they didn't do that because they did that with Vigo Mortensen in three. So, see, we don't have the context of a lot of the TXM movies and he does, or TCM movies. So that's- Well, I did. Well, how about you did a little research, why don't you explain the Renee Zoegar, Matthew McConaughey, part of it. Yeah. So there was, this movie was snakebit from the get-go. It had a horrible rollout. They released it twice to try and, yeah, to try and- 'Cause he was originally made in '94, right? Yeah, it was made in '94, didn't come out until '95. So this is pre-fame Renee Zoegar and Matthew McConaughey. Yes. It was made. This is like, he shot this about the time he shot- Was this their first movie? No, it wasn't their first movies. Yeah. But there was a rumor going around for a long time that Matthew McConaughey's people were trying to limit the release of this movie, so less eyes would be on it, because they were like, he's about to break big and dazed and confused, and then we don't want this on his record kind of thing. But then in an interview in like 1996 or somewhere around there, or no, it was after that, McConaughey said, no, it was fun to do. He's not ashamed of it. He never tried to get it stopped because it was a great learning experience. It was honest work. He looked like he had fun. Yeah, and he's like, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything because it was really good to teach me how to make a low-budget movie. Yeah, I mean, good for him. I don't appreciate it. I don't like her has the same feelings about it. She's just like, yeah, it was fun making it. I mean, you should be all like, that's what it seems is completely off with Hollywood today. It's like, you can't make a bad movie anymore, and it's like, no, you fucking can, like, make your one movie for one type of audience and fucking just put the pedal to the goddamn metal, and I guess I kind of did that here, just a lot of the shit didn't work for me. I don't understand why more people don't do the Robert Rodriguez thing, where he goes and does, like, the Spy Kids movies to pay for his crazy shit. Oh. So he can, he like, yeah, I'll do a Spy Kids movie, and that'll fund, like, two fucking things that I actually want to do. I don't know if I know his collection, though, won't. Oh, from Destildon, Desperado. Sin City. Sin City. Oh, yeah, okay, okay. Yeah, I do. It does sound legit. I don't know. I don't know. Well, from my research, I learned that the co-writer of the first movie directed this. Yep, wrote and directed this one. Oh, interesting. Kim Hinkle. So, we have that connection and he's got just some outsider coming in. He knows the story, the vibe. Okay. This was, I think, it's filmed in Austin, I think. I think it used local actors, which probably explains why not much of them were very good, but including, I believe, McConaughey and Renee Zellweger from Austin, I think. They are. Okay. I know, I know Zellweger is, I know McConaughey is from Texas, I don't know if it's cool. Yeah, I might, I think he might have went to school there or something. I know he's always at the University of Texas games. Well, he tried out for the role of the, that was not even in the movie, got cut out. He was going to be the person who rescues Renee at the end. That would make sense. And then he's walking out, cause he was, he was heading out to Hollywood. He just graduated from like college. He's heading out to Hollywood and then he's like, well, if I can try out for that fucking Wilmer role. So he goes in, does it, Corey and I have, he nailed it. So he got the job. Yeah, there's a story that he like ran to the kitchen of wherever they were doing the line readings for the audition, grabbed a spoon and like pinned the secretary up against the wall with it like it was a weapon and she apparently cried or something during it. And she was like, you did fucking great. Oh, there's a lot of face grabbing by Matthew is in the faces. That's history. Yeah, he clutches Renee's face countless times in this moment, constantly slapping her, spitting on her, like these two gave it their all. And you know what? That's what I always complain about some of our fucking boring movies that we watch is like they're just kind of phoning it in. He tried his ass off. Yeah. There's a balance. Yeah. Sometimes you go too far. Oh, yeah. He doesn't, he doesn't have that fucking stage theater presence to know when to like just chill it out here, lay it on here. He's like 99.9% of the time just fucking free balling all over the place. And I don't want to see Matthew McConaughey's balls. No. Fair enough. Fair enough, right? Well, you know what we do want to see? Not his pubes because they're probably just as sad as his little beard. Yeah, he is patchy pubes. Yeah. Sorry. I don't mean a shame his beard. One ball has no hair on it at all. No one covered. No, we don't want to see Matthew McConaughey's balls at all, but what we do want to see, or at least here, is a trailer for return of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, a.k.a. Texas Chainsaw Massacre the next challenge. Each of us has known the fear of being alone, lost in the darkness, faced with the unknown. But there is one fear shrouded in our past, lost in our subconscious, that should never have been forgotten, a fear so deep, it cuts to the bone, the American legend returns, to bring you back to the cutting edge of terror. You can't touch me if you're going to kill me, then do it. Matthew McConaughey, Renee Zellweger, are you having fun yet? Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the next generation. If looks could kill, he wouldn't need a chainsaw. August 18th, 1973, news of a bizarre chainsaw-wielding family, reports which were to ignite the world's imagination, began to filter out of central Texas. Regrettably, not one of the family members was ever apprehended, and for more than ten years, nothing further was heard. Then, over the next several years, at least two minor, yet apparently related incidents were reported. Then again, nothing. For five long years, silence. We're coming to, and of course, it's a mid-90s movie, it's a teen movie, it's the next generation of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, after all, so we've got to go team. But, here's the thing, according to IMDB, they're the Sawyer family, except they're the Slaughter family in this movie. Oh yeah, we had a crawl to open the filmer slaughter. We had a crawl to open the movie, we should play that, we should play that. I'll play the audio. So according to the audio, we played. This is connected to the three previous movies. Yep. What is going on? First of all, that makes no sense, because Leatherface is totally an indifferent family every movie. Is he a foster kid, is he hopping around each crazy, like, no idea. I'm sure, I mean, Texas is full of crazy people. Texas is the reason. They voted in dead crews, for fuck's sake. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. So, you know, I had no trouble believing there's more than one cannibalistic family. He's got a shitty beard, too. Is he Matthew McConaughey related? No. I wouldn't, I wouldn't have the guy who's done some good shit. I'm not going to pay him that bad. Oh, okay. Okay. An action of crews. Yeah, I have no issue with Matthew. So yeah, there's, it's like, it's weird, I don't know what's going on. And by the way, Leatherface awful in this movie. He doesn't kill anyone with a chainsaw. No one dies by chainsaw in this movie. How can you call your movie the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and no one dies by a chainsaw? That ain't been a dream. This is my, this is my favorite Leatherface. Oh my God. He's just crying. Oh, he's like, emo Leatherface. That's what I like about it because Leatherface and all the other movies just runs around and screams like a maniac the entire fucking runtime and this one is like a maniac. This one when he puts on like the pretty woman skin and outfit, he takes on that personality. Yeah. So you get another layer to Leatherface inside of him is just wearing different skin for the fucking sake of it. Well, he's just a big old retard, hard art, hard art. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. He's the baby brother. So he's the one that gets picked on all the time. Yeah. And you know, man, I don't know where I'm going to, we're right at the beginning. Like I said, these, these are all tied together somehow. I'm going to go with the theory. He's a foster child. He gets consent to different families, even though he technically died in part two, he did get a chainsaw right through the gut. That's true. Chainsaw gutful. Yeah. That's right. Chainsaw gutful. Yeah. So I don't know. But all right, we see some lips. Lips. Some pouty lips getting some some lipstick put on him. I wish I knew the ZZ top song that would go along with this because she's got lips. She knows how to smack them. You can still use them, smack them. I don't know, man. And then she immediately rubs it off. Right. This is Renee Zell Wager's character, Jenny. She is, I guess, like a tomboy. She hasn't, she's exploring her feminism. She hasn't, she's uncomfortable being a girl, I guess. She's not a tomboy, but she just doesn't ever get dressed. She's a slob is what Mike's trying to say. Well, no, she's going to fucking prom with all crease, she's a plain Jane. She's a jerk or a. Why is she even going to prom? She seems like this is not her thing, she's not into it. But that's all you could do with the 90s. Hair pressure, bro. And the 90s. Your pressure was real. Wash your hair. Did you go to prom in the 90s? No, I did not go to prom in the 90s. And if I did, I'd wash my hair and dress well. Because she's like, she's going half, she's halfway doing it. She's like putting on the dress, not a very attractive dress, but it's the 90s. I understand. There's no fashion in the 90s. They live in the middle of nowhere, too, it's like she's, she's shopping at secondhand stores, man. She's still, she's putting on makeup, she understands the process. Why is she taking it off? Mom, mom, hold on. I gleaned she lives in a pretty strict house. You know, you know mom has very strict rules and has multiple husbands. You look like a whore. It looks like she lives in chaos, but there's no rules to her. Well, that's what her mom has married every 15 minutes, according to Heather. Right. Exactly. So she's got to be used to the same thing. She's been abused and she's been abused. Well, this layer has more, this movie has, that's what, thanks to us, we're bringing it to it. No, there were more scenes that show that she did live in an abusive household that were cut. They're in the director's cut. Oh, okay. Was it Matthew McConaughey and fucking Fatface or something, abusing her because he just wants to grip her face and spit on her and slap her around. Anyway, she goes off the problem with her boyfriend, friend, who the fuck is Sean to her? They're making out in the, when they make it out, it's a smoking weed in the bags. They were smoking weed. Supposedly. Supposedly. And by the way, if I was Barry, I'd be pissed off too, if you're smoking weed in my car. I don't want that. Barry, that's the one point, ah, moment where Barry is justified about Barry. And so we go to the high school because it's prom night, right? So we get a nice picture, like why are they getting pictures if she's not going to, I don't know. I'm annoyed by Jenny. All right. Oh, apparently Tim is now discovering angsty teens, they get their picture taken. This was a nice touch. We get the original sound effect mixed in with the music. Yeah. Nice. That was good. I like that. I did like that. So like, all right. We're going to Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. And then we've got the double doors bursting open on like old lady who was just checking tickets, eating chocolate, reading a romance novel. You guys, I think you guys skip past one of the best parts when they're going in there. The guy, he's like, go on in, you know, the cake looks great. It's like, awesome. It looks like a wedding and they're fantastic. And as soon as they get into the works, like I fucking hate kids. That was good. I like that. I'm glad you remembered it. Because it was in my brain, but I was like, I don't remember it to do it. And then it was like the Denny of, you know, that's cool. And he was like, Lispy and shit too, like that guy was interesting. That was one of the interesting things for me. And I was like, maybe we would have been a great victim, but no, we don't see him for the rest of the movie. We needed more like good victims in this. Anyways, as I was saying, you got the lady checking tickets, smacking her lips, reading the fucking romance novel tickets, tickets and eating a box of heart shaped chocolates and everything. And we get Heather busted through the door with the fucking Barry. And she's got this other chick with her who's got a stutter and she's like, oh, no, this isn't right. None of this is right. She's just fucking with you. Don't do it. She's fucking with what was happening. She's asking where Barry is. And the old lady taking the tickets was like, Oh, I thought you guys broke up. And she's like, no, why would you think that? She's like, Oh, well, so studying girl was reacting to the old lady who's stirring the pot because she's insinuating, Oh, I thought you guys were broken up because Barry was with someone else. Apparently this old lady is a shit stir. It turns into Vince Russo era, WWF, hard crash TV. We go outside with a hand cam and everything. And there we see Barry. It's got a girl pinned to a pillar, making out she's wearing a prom dress with a bow tie around her neck. Yeah, I didn't. Classic. I didn't see the laser this. So I didn't pick up on the bow tie. Yeah. But yeah, he's, he's cheating on Heather and Heather is upset about that. Barry. It's nine. This was filmed in 94. It's supposed to be like 96, I believe in the yes. Nobody was fucking wearing a ruffled shirt in 96, but I get it. That's that's shorthand for I'm a douche bag. Yep. Yeah. That's why they put him in that. But nobody would have been wearing a ruffled shirt. I think he was that he comes off as the type of person that would wear that ironically, like, I'm wearing this shirt. Yeah. That's it. It was cool. He was obsessed with his dad. Yeah. We don't know what his dad does. He has his dad has a million occupations. According to Barry, what's that? So according to Barry, this guy, his dad's, I don't think his dad's in the picture at all. I think that's why he makes up this dad. Yeah. No, he's, I think he's a trust fund kid and his dad's like, I'm a lot of fucking kid. You know what? If they may have spin off, according to Barry and it was just about Barry's, you know, background and everything. I might watch that. You know, I'm sure this happens in real life, but not as much as it does in the movies. Here are all these schools where ultra rich kids are like going to school with poor kids because there was no rich kids at my fucking school. Did you have a rich kid at your school? I don't think so. Yeah. But in like, like every John Hughes movie, it's like these ultra rich kids, maybe going to private schools. They'd be going to fucking public school. Right. Back in the day, it was like, it seemed like there was possibility for the co-mingling. Whereas nowadays it's completely done. Yeah. If you, if you're not middle trash, if you don't have that fucking above ground pool, you're not in that fucking school, you know, that never happens anymore. So he's like, wait, babe, let me explain. I'm stuck sticking your shit. She jumps in his car, going to take off thankfully, he leaves the keys and the dash. You know, right? It's supposed to go. Yeah. It's a little compartment. You don't know this. There's actually a little compartment in your visor if you check for keys, for keys. And you need to leave a spare key in there for people who might be stealing your car. Yeah. It's just a nice thing to do. She's trying to drive out of the parking lot. She does a great job. She indicates which way she's backing out, which no one does. You know, I gotta say, it's an aside because it'll fit with what we're talking about right now. The backing up. It better be about backing up. No, well, not people are backing up. It'll be about proms because yesterday we were celebrating my aunt and uncle's 50th anniversary and we went to a restaurant and I guess it's homecoming or something right now. What? So we, I don't know what's going on. But not homecoming, opening game or what do they call that? Is it homecoming? I think it's homecoming. It's homecoming. Yeah, homecoming. So there's a lot of girls in their hoochie dresses. Hoochie dresses. Yeah, it was total like fucking stripper outfits. And I was like going, I know, and I've reached them all the time, like, Jesus Christ, he looked like children. Like they was nothing sexy at all. It looked like a child trying to be sexy. It was a real turn off. Yeah. Thankfully, I can say that. Yeah. It was just like, I just got his, that's again where we end up with Leonardo, where he's just like, yeah, I want to date these chicks who are like three years out of high school and it's like, what? What? Oh, Anthony Keyes. He's like 16. He's dating like an 18 year old. He is? Yeah. Did Flea die? What the fuck do you even talk about? We have that. We're talking about Anthony Keyes. He's kind of on the, the hard R side of the, you know, picture. Okay. So I mean. Soft R. The hard R is the other one that we don't say, which, which, I mean, excuse my hard. Hard R is the one we absolutely don't say. Soft R. Which one is that you spell it for me? If you can't say it. Honestly, what is the hard R the soft R hard-tarded? Soft R is hard. It's the Tardo. Okay. Okay. What's the hard one? The hard one. I seriously don't know. I'm not doing shit. The hard one is the racist one. Oh, what's the racist one? Hard R is the racist one. Oh, the ending of the word. Yeah. That's what it's referred to as. Instead of an A, there's an ER. Yeah. So you're saying that someone who's soft R doesn't get the privilege of being offended as much as someone who gets to the hard R. Is there different, they're not equal? I'm so sorry. I don't make these rules. It's more socially acceptable. What Griff is saying is more socially acceptable. It probably isn't. Use it. It's more against someone who was born a certain way and can't help it. I guess you're black. You can't help it either. But what I'm saying is there should be no difference. There should be a hard R for both. And then someone we got to work out a way. So maybe we should continue to refer to it as a hard R. Hard beginning R, hard end R. That's how we're going to say it from now on. So she drives off, but Barry jumps in the car. Hey, bitch. It's my car. Jumps in. He does it, bitch. Can't wait. Where is that? That is Freddy Krueger. Bitch. Give me my car, bitch. Get out of my trees and into my car, bitch. The Billy Ocean fucking reference there. I smell fucking nerd in this car. And he reaches back. Nerd's got the cool people smoke weed. We know that. Nerd smoking weed. No, back in the '90s, nerds still smoke weed, I thought. Grass as they called it. We're still on the second paragraph. This is not why. I think Barry would be like, let me have a hit. He'd be upset that they weren't giving it to him. You know what? I'm fucking sick of you. Barry's all just saying no. He's crazy. No, I don't think it's his car. I think he has to return it. Oh, yes, his dad's car. And his dad's going to smell the weed, yeah. What the fuck? Dad owns a dealership. And so... That's one of the stories we hear. So he's Kid Rock basically? Is that what we're saying? Yeah. He's going to be a viewer. You don't know. Kid Rock is the son of someone owns a car dealership. He didn't even grow up in a tree. He doesn't even take white trash with a loan. His dad owned multiple trailers that he sold at a profit to people who needed trailers because they got kicked out of their houses. That's Kid Rock's great upbringing. So this motherfucker is like, I'm Kid Rocking up a real McCoy girl. You got to understand, I have to make out with other ladies. Guys, we have a problem. If we don't ejaculate every eight hours, especially at my right age, I will get prostate cancer. Prostrate cancer is what he's called. Barry was fucking great because he did such a good job at being... Everyone knows a guy like this who thinks they're better than everyone else and talks so much shit but has no fucking clue what they're talking about. Yeah. And he almost nailed it. He's somebody running for president. But you say the thing with confidence, people will believe you no matter what it is. Barry knows that. Right. So they're eating dogs. He said they said they're eating dogs in this town. Yeah. I mean, he's doggy, motherfuckers out here trying to open up my own fucking... No. No. So, we have a near collision when we get to jump. How did he not smell the weed? It took him a while to work. No. I got it. What's going on with all these horror movies? Are they vaping? The hookah? You know what? They might have had the original babe. Wait, what? The hookah play. The hookah. The bomb. Get in the bomb? Yeah. They just had the wire coming into the car. I don't know, but it's our flovable stoner nerds, Jenny and her guy, a guy friend, and they're just friends, right? I think they're just friends. Well, that's why Barry kept telling them, "You fucking bitches back there. You guys, we see you showing up to places and you guys never fuck." And he reaches back and tries to grab Jenny's tit. I know you got tits on there and Heather driving is just like, "Hey, leave her alone." No. It's a fact. Women have tits. And I need to see if you have any lumps from breast cancer. He's been watching Steven Segal. His dad might be Steven Segal. His dad is probably one of the stories he tells. Yep, probably. 'Cause as far as he says, his dad's a doctor at this moment, and he's just like, "He told me I got to squeeze your tits to save your life." That's right. So we've got 3V1 in this car. Four people in this car. Well, I know there's four people. Yeah. Three V1. So you still have that. Heather sounded Jenny versus Barry. Oh. Because Barry... You're the V. Did it hard V? It was a soft V. I didn't hear it. You didn't hear that? It's okay. I know how you feel about V's. You don't like them. Murray actually... I love V's. Yeah. By the way. I don't use that word. It's a more technical word for it, but I love them. Oh boy. Guys, how is it going to be recording on a Sunday? We might be off our game. Feng Shui is off. Feng Shui is off? Anyways, they're giving Barry the shit because he's obviously a Fox News Watcher. He's a Q and Honor. He's off this... No, there is a character who's a Q and Honor later on. That's true. So he's off his fucking gourd here. He hasn't gone into the Harkinspiracy. You're right. And this is where we have gone suddenly from the high school in a suburban area, I suppose. They've been driving for all of two minutes. They almost got in a car crash. Yes. And now they're in the middle of the woods. Yes. And they don't even know where they are. They took that detour. This is the town they grew up in. No, she just randomly just turns off into a dirt road. You can know there was a detour. There was a bunch of construction. Did you guys even watch this fucking movie? Are you serious? There was a bunch of construction in barricades. Yeah. So she had to take a turn on to this back dirt road. But still they get halfway down the road and they're like, I don't know where we are. It's her hometown. They don't know where they are. Dude, there's so many roads that are randomly turned down in Livonia or Redford that I've never been down before. And you would get lost? No, because they say we know where we are. Just turn around. They say that. They say that. You guys hate this movie. You didn't watch this movie. They did say that multiple times. I heard it the second time I watched it. By the way, every road. I want to turn around, bitch. One of the big things we talk about with politics is infrastructure. And every road that's moved to dirt roads. I agree. We need to get more infrastructure. Because you're going to get lost. And then next thing you know, you're going to get eaten by a crazy hillbilly. He's not wrong. Yeah. You can run on that. I bet you could run on that. Yeah. Your teeth are going to become peppercorns and award winning chili. Call back to Texas chance I'm asking her to. Great. Great episode. Thank you. Thank you. That was my favorite. I believe that was the original show. October of 2019. I believe. Shit. I think 2018. It might be 2019. I think it's 2018. Okay. Yeah. That was our first year. All right. Okay. So they turn off to this road that they had to. They don't choice. Right. Because of the detour. And everyone's looking for. Well, there's a detour. There should be signs of telling them to get. That's what a detour is. Yeah. The detour is not supposed to take them to like Camp Crystal Lake or something, you know. What if it was set up by the plot? That's a good point. That's a good point. It's happened. Another text change on movies. I did just watch fucking the most dangerous game and he set up the fucking movies to lure people into his island. Yep. We've done 5,000 movies based on the most dangerous games. I don't even know. Yeah. I'm talking about. Yeah. Oh. Well, I just. Cool thing. I think we're going to do another one after we get to like shuttle October. Oh. Thanks to our buddy Mike. Oh, I'm excited. I've been wanting to rewatch that. Oh my God. I don't know what's happening. As soon as I saw it got released, I was like instant buy when I see it when I saw who's in it. I was like, hell yeah, dude. Great cast. I hate what's happening right now. There's a. Oh, you will love it. Yeah. Yeah. We've been talking about psychic energy. He broke it. Murray broke it to look at Mike and they've got a twinkle in their eye and I don't like this twinkle. All right. So now they're lost. I'm lost. Where are we there? We're in the middle of a forest on a dirt road. Hey, is that an owl over there? Is there a man jerking off and suddenly our accident, another collision. That's how it happens. That's how it always happens. And then so what's what do you think is the story of this guy? He just escaped from the slaughterhouse or is he just a random guy? Hi, who just crashes into them? When I initially saw it, I thought it was someone that escaped them. But then this time, I think he might have just been a random guy, just a random guy. Gets out collapses. There couldn't be a story back because it looks like he was wearing a butt. I'm sure. So he might have been coming from the prom. I meant to look this guy up because you know I got a thing about ginger dudes. Was this the guy who played Malachi and Children of the Corn? I think it was him. Oh, corny gains? I did not look it up. I think it was him. Oh, yeah dude, he played Hans in the burbs. Oh, yeah, that makes sense that you would know it then. Well he's looking that up. So he's looking that up. See this guy? So this guy just gets out of his car and then collapses and they think he's dead. Heather's pointing out I'm now a murderer. If this guy's not okay, we need to go seek help. We need to split up like Scooby-Doo would do. And I don't know who's going where, but we need to split up. Someone's got to stay back with him. Make sure he's resuscitated. He was not. He was not the guy. He was another creepy ginger. And so Jenny takes it upon herself. Give me a flashlight. I feel like that's redundant. Yeah, I know. You're right. Yeah. You know what we're speaking about? Male gingers. Yeah. I don't have a problem with female gingers. Yeah. Female gingers there. They're all right. They're all right. Yeah. So the going, he's going there, they split up like you said Sean has to stay back with the dead body. Right. They thinks dead. They don't know. I mean they could just check his pulse or something. Well they're teenagers. They don't. Teenagers don't know people are alive or dead. That's the first thing they taught me in kindergarten, how to tell someone who's alive or is dead. Isn't it the education system? Murray. We are in Texas. We know the educational system. Abstinence only. That means you can't even check a heartbeat. Oh God. You got to understand this. Unless you're looking for lumps. Exactly. Well, that's what the dead. According to Barry's dad. That's what their dads teach their kids. Their sons, as soon as they turn seven. That's why no one has breast cancer in Texas. People don't know that. Yeah. That is an absolute fact. That's why we just watched the Houston texting game. They were not wearing pink shoes. No. Because they say we do not have breast cancer. And this is breast cancer awareness month and nobody in Texas wears it because no one. They don't have to. I've seen women with breast cancer go to Texas and they lose the breast cancer. Yeah, it just goes away. It just goes away. Yeah. That's what about the mountain air? That's what freedom will do. The mountains in Texas. The legal team of Golden Globus Theater would like to just make sure the listeners know that going to Texas does not cure breast cancer. You're welcome, guys. Litigation avoided. People are saying it does. I've heard from many people. Many scholars. So you can say that. That's fine. Any scholars get us the litigation. So of course they get the classic flashlight that keeps going out. Oh, your 1920s giant flashlight. Yeah, dude. Sean's going to be left behind. Everybody else is going to go along for the venture out to find a house, a phone, anything so they can get gas station, whatever. Yup. All on foot, of course. Heather keeps dropping the fucking flashlight because she's a woman. And what we know about horror movies is that women have bad balance, bad posture. She is wearing heels. If you know who isn't wearing any shoes, Jenny, why is Jenny shoeless throughout the movie? Because she took off her shoes because she knew she was going to be walking on uneven ground because she's the smart one. So she was wearing heels. She was. Wow. She's finally being dominant. And spot. Okay. So you're right. Heather's the dummy, the ditz. She's still wearing the stilettos on the dirt road, stumbling, bumbling, dropping that flashlight. Their first jump scare of the movie because they flashlight was knocked out, they get it working again and we're looking on some kind of animal. Some kind of roko. Yeah. Fucking gross. And they go, ah, we do hit the point out. Everyone's more irritated than terrified of this movie. Like no one's scared. It's like, stop leather face. God damn. I will say when Marie came in, I said it was like a big brother was picking on her as opposed to being traumatized. This is why we were saying the acting is awful in this movie because nobody reacts like you would react. This is like really get dressed in the movie. Wow. I'm waiting for this explanation. Finally. I guess they're on Lake Havasoma or something. People are going to respect this movie when Mike helps them out. Maybe we will. All right. So moments later, we're still happening on the trail. Yeah. There's a trailer. Uh, is this what is, is she a travel agent? What's going on? What's this? Her job? Cause there's a map on the wall. I don't know what, what her job is. This is a Vince McMahon's sable character or something, but she's my favorite character in the movie. She's fucking great. She was better than most. Yeah. I'm talking about Darla. Darla. A serious, a benefactor of these shows. She's got her fucking 80s power suit on now purple. Yeah. She's the business man. It's just what that business is. We don't know. It's just in a random trailer next to the gas station. It looks like it could be a casting couch trailer. It does. She could be getting kids ready to film. Try out. She got the role. Yeah. It's just like some random trailer right across from an old service station. It looks like the kind of trailer that would be in a construction site. Yeah. Where the guy, the foreman would be at. Oh, yeah. You know the porridge on outside of her trailer is blown up. Oh, yeah. Oh, you saw their house. It's like feel the dreams. You build it, a large guy who works on a building who, you know, eats terribly will shit in it. So she, she's an entrepreneur. She's got her shit together. She's like, the kids come there. Yeah. Hey, where can we, we need, we had a car accident. She's busy on the phone. Velma. Spy. Sell. Spy. Sell. Yeah. Are you kidding me? You could work at least another eight more hours today. I don't care if you've worked 16 hours today. The best shit is, she catches Jenny looking at her, um, unbuttoned top with her big fake boobs. Yes. And she's like, Oh yeah, I bought and paid for honey, but you best believe that every man in town, once I got them thought they were God's gift to women. Yeah. I tell you what, my commission's doubled since I got these bad boys. So it was worth it. So whatever she's doing, the commission's have doubled. That's all right. She just had this like everything she said, just had this like natural charm to it. Like, yeah, I don't want to hang out with you, but like you're fucking entertaining to talk to. I, I agree with this. She was. She was one of the things. Maybe a city slickers took some time to get to know these country bomb guns. We would get, we'd meet these larger than life personalities and wouldn't be so we, we night the country, maybe, maybe I'm just more acclimated to it because my dad side of the family is from the south. They live on a mountain in Virginia. Oh, okay. I legitimately have a hefty cousin named Billy Bob. Oh, that is not made up. How many teeth does he have? Last I saw me at all of them, but he did have a like neon pickup truck with his name spray painted airbrushed on the doors and his son, little Billy, his name, Mountain Dew, done on the other side. Oh, oh, little billies. Yeah. Little Billy. Little Billy. About Jake and that. All right. So thank you for the very, by the way, everybody who's a killer in this movie, X strange from the jump, no one, X normal, even Darla, there's something, you can tell you something off about Darla. Yeah, kind of weird right at the minute. She calls up to like, can you call the police? She's like, don't worry, honey. I got, I'll call Velmer. I'll get him out here to tell your truck. That's right. And then an object crashes through her trailer window. She's like, it's positive thing, kids, you know what they want. She jumps up to the window and we get a close up of a body double. No, those are her. Those are hers. Wasn't it a side boob? I don't remember. We got a little bit of nipple. Did we? Oh, good. It wasn't a front view, which is, it was her because it did look like a body double shot, but it was her. I'm willing to bet it was her because this is the same actress that plays the stripping teacher in varsity blues and you see all of her. So she, yeah, so she has no issue showing her boobs on screen. Well, maybe she's better than we don't know. Can I have a moment? She wasn't getting paid enough by this movie. Maybe. Those trailers that came on TV from varsity blues, I was, was that 96, 97? I don't know. I don't know that I ever saw it. I was between eight and 11. I was like, that is the most important movie of my life. I need to see that. Uh, whipped cream bra, all that shit. I saw like bits and pieces. I don't know. I've never seen the whole thing. I've never seen the whole thing and I never want to see the whole thing. But still, I was like, oh my God, this is so important. And that was when, you know, so when you live in the middle of nowhere, no internet to be found. You got it. How do you see tits grip? You throw a rock throw in now and you hope something happens. And the best part is she's just like, yeah, then boys do anything and get me to flash them. It's perfect. Cause she's an older lady who's still like, I still got it, even though you don't, but you still want to have it. She has layers people. She makes sense. Like she is good. She shouldn't have been as creepy as she was. Like she should have been like this bubbly, you know, kind of like, I flash the caves. I'm, I'm cool. I would have liked that a lot more. Cause that was. I buy beer for the kids. Yeah. She totally buys beer for the kids. She's in the middle of nowhere. Some party at her place. She's in the middle of nowhere. She wants to be attractive to young boys. She loves the male gaze on her. So yeah, I'm like, okay, she should be a teacher though, hot for teacher. Yeah. Sorry. So we cut to talking about that mysterious Vilmer character. Well, he is back at Sean and the, the wreck. And this is where we meet Vilmer, Banana Ramma, play by Michael Mac, Matthew, I'll, I'll, I'm Channeling, Channeling Riff now with the names much, Matthew McConaughey, much mouth Murray over here. And we were talking, I think we talked about this in the opening. All right. We got the handsome, I hate to admit, he's handsome guy. He's a Glen Powell. Yeah. And it's like, okay, it would make perfect sense if he was the guy that was charming, had the rizz as the kids say, and would lure people in no, he's bad shit crazy from the start. I mean, and they're, but they're not picking up on it at all. They're just like, Oh, this is the normal guy. Maybe I don't know. We're not from Texas. We don't, we're you people are. He meets Sean. He meets Sean first and he didn't, and Vilmer isn't crazy here. He's just, uh, yes, he is, he's totally weird from the get go. No, he's just a dick. He's just, he's just very short with Sean. He's like, no, this guy's dead. He's not going, he's not dialed up to 11 yet. You're right. He's just like, he's a guy that does not want to be called out for one more fucking call this late at night. He's just really short, like dismissive of Sean. And then when the inciting incident happens, then he's like, all right, game on motherfuckers. All right. He's normal for 10 seconds. And then he's total. It is. It is. In the 10 seconds, right? Yeah. Well, free comes out. Okay. He's got his robotics. Steve Austin. It's like apparently the board picked him up because he's got tubes and shit and all that. Why he has remote control. I don't know. The remote controls are Mike. I mean, I know it plays into like later on, but why would you need a remote control leg brace? I don't know. Like I said, this one ain't perfect. So he's got, he's robo-filmer. He checks on the body of guy who I thought was the guy from fucking children. The corn is not. And he's like, he's not. This guy's dead. No, he's not. I can see him breathing. Snappy. Snappy to snappy to snappy to snappy to snappy to snappy to snappy. Yeah. And Sean is at that phase by it. He's just like, we shouldn't have done that. Hey, friend, we ran into as Carl. He might be, we might be part of this murder. No, you don't understand. You ain't gonna have a fucking run boy. And I'm gonna follow you slowly. But you dare leave the fucking road, because that would make too much sense. And he's like, I won't, sir. And he's just lightly jogging as he's just from, and he's weaving a little, like there's force on both sides. Yeah. Furiating. All right. So we got that massacre. I got to ask you, Mike, if you met a guy and he killed someone in front of you, told you to run. Would you run just in front of his car? Absolutely not. Jock. Sorry. Not run. Power walking. Power walk. Yeah. Absolutely not. No. No. So this is what I'm talking about. Like they're just, it's just, it's mildly irritated by what's happening. Yeah. Terrified. Texas changed the mask originally. They're terrified as they should be by these characters. Okay. All right. We go back to Jenny and her crew, which I believe was Barry and Heather, and they're all course on foot leaving Darla's place. And they're like, hey, is that old service station? Maybe we can get like a ride from them. That old fart. That chance. I was expecting it. He wouldn't be a member of the family. Like it would be the fucking cook. Right. Right. But instead, we don't get much more of that. By the way, I always thought he was the dad. I didn't, I didn't know too recently. He's the brother. He's the eldest brother. Yeah. Because he's so old. Yep. Because where is the fucking mom and dad? We got grandpa. Where is the mom and dad that takes his chainsaw mask? You see mom. Oh, that's right. Yes. You see mom. Yeah. Dad. Deadbeat. Deadbeat. He does even the Brad Hillbillies. Deadbeat. That's right. Probably ate them. Made chili out of them. Yep. That could be it. And but after we have seen that everybody's going off on foot again, we go back to Vilmer, catching up the shot. Sir, please, can we stop this? I'm just really annoyed. I want to get home. The new ex-files episodes coming on tonight, I really want to watch it. Boom. It just gets run over. That's it. You don't get to watch ex-files. Yeah. And we pointed out this is the most blud-less Texas gender culture movie of all time. I mean, even in the first one. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's probably accurate. After the first one had a lot either. But it seemed like you made your imagination work more. Right. Yeah. And Makana, hey, it's us with his first all right, all right, all right. Let's put on the heavy metal soundtrack. Do we think this is his first on screen? All right, all right, all right. I don't know. I can't think. I can't believe that. I believe. This is only like his third or fourth movie at this point. I think the original was dazing infused. I don't think he did it. I don't think this is the first. What was it filming for? I believe he's calling back to that. Okay. I thought he was too. Okay. But yeah, he pops a fucking heavy metal. He had the glam metal rock and it wasn't heavy. Excuse me. What was that Marie? Unskinny bot by poison. Yeah. Like try to bail you out there. But you didn't pick up. You didn't pick up. So now we're just. I didn't have it. He came in. He came hot with that. I came hot. He came hot. Call back to the last episode. If you haven't listened to it, you should. Absolutely. You should. Much better movie. I'll tell you that. Good job. Go over Sean. He's. Back and forth. Orca. Huh. Is this a Mcafile? Is this what a Mcafile does? He's fucking easy. He's having a good time with it. He could be. He could be a Mcafile. He could be. He's in that. Oh, he's got the fucking leg thing. He's wrecking that wrecker. Oh, yeah. He's got the leg thing going on. Who knows what kind of pizza. He's trying to become a cyborg or some shit. Well, he's trying to be a bork. We know that. So we cut back to Barry and Heather and she's just like, hey, I think someone's watching us. Yeah. And Barry's just telling her fuck off. You're a dumb bitch. My dad is a psychologist and a doctor and he owns a car dealership and on the side, he works at Dairy Queen. So I know how ice cream works, the best blizzards, best blizzard. He flips it upside down. Perfect proportions. Not. There's no disproportionate. They never flipped it upside down until my dad. That's right. My dad came and said flip it. Flip it upside down and that's how I got pregnant. I mean, my mom got pregnant with me is my dad flipped her upside down because she couldn't get pregnant. You're going too far with the joke. Too far with the joke. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. The car drives by. I'm thinking, all right, this is somebody. No, this is the car that drives by, you know, leaves them hanging. Like a car at a time though, it was like a lynch scene because it was a car out of the fucking 30s. It was like a little truck, wasn't it? Well, there in the back. It was one of the slaughters. It was one of the family. It was. What was it? It was the brother that speaks in quotes. W.E. W.E. Oh, yeah. Because it leads that they follow the good. They follow the car and it leads them to the house. We loaned Mike, our laser dispersion. So he's picking up on all his details that I just went into this with an open heart and open eyes and I went into this with an open mind. I was like, maybe it's up to I'm not seeing because I'd never seen this movie all the way through. No. So, yeah, there are people, okay, okay. So the only people who drive back to the on these back roads, which the detour was sent to, are the fucking slaughter family. That's all right. That's why I think the slaughter family set up the detour. Yeah. Wow. That would make some sense. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So somehow Heather and Barry, they're going to go their own way. Jenny's going to get stuck going her own way. And she wants to check on Sean. You could go your own way, Murray. As Stevie next would say. I don't know the rest of those. That song though. You do I. And my mustache is going to my nose, I hate those. So Jenny goes back to check on Sean. I guess Barry and Heather just going to look for another phone or something. Yeah, they took off after the truck trying to get a ride and Jenny was like, that could be going to someone's private property. We could get shot for trespassing. I'm not fucking doing that. Jenny was playing the role of the audience at that point. They're like, that's a bad idea. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah. We know it's Texas people. We stay on their ground. Texas. Yeah. What's it called? Like the castle doctrine or something like that? I forgot that. Yeah. Isn't that the one where you shoot people on site though? Yeah, you can. You're defending your castle. Yeah. So as we had to dumb it down because casual doctrine came from me confusing. So she's looking around the flashlight, she keeps cutting in and out. Of course it does. But feeling a presence amongst her, it's trash bag floating in the wind. Yeah. Another jump scare. Trash bag jumps here. We got brain pops up. Of course brain pops up. We go into some brain technology in this movie. No, talking about psychology, we get into the mind of Heather. She's the most thought out character in this entire movie. She's got a gnarly scar hairy potter scar. But she hit her head when they crashed. Yeah, hairy potter scar on her forehead now. Ruined. I would date this girl. Oh, got a little tiny scar on her forehead. She's like, this is going to leave a scar. I mean, it definitely would. I mean, Dusty even was like, oh, baby, you went too deep. So now that Heather knows she doesn't ever looks anymore, Barry's going to dump her. She pours her heart out to Barry, her inner soul. Because she's just like, well, maybe go to watching us and Barry says, go it. The fuck. My dad's a ghost hunter. He says ghosts are bullshit. He ain't afraid no ghosts. My dad's heirloomis. The moment ghost busts, it was based on my dad. Yeah. Come with genius. My dad is the lawyer that represented Huey Lewis when they sued Ray Parker Jr. Ray Parker Jr. There we go. That's a name. Yeah. It was a rip-off, sir. Yep. I hate to take the side of Huey Lewis. You know the story. You know our history, Huey. I'm not going to go into it. Yeah. Best not. Three more hours if we get to him on a hill. We can't do that. We can't do that. We can't do that. We can't do that. And it's all bad. Huey Lewis in the lose. Let's go. So Heather, Heather is having to come to Jesus' moment because she's like, I'm ugly. Nah, I'm ruined. I can't get that rich for oil tycoon husband because of my fucking in scar on my forehead. You're going to get a man anyways because you're a dumb slaught. Dumb bitch. Bitch. Bitch. And she's like, you know what? I am a bitch. But I'm not dumb. I only play dumb to be popular. Which is funny because earlier in the movie, my girl Darla is like, hey, fly to blind, stick their heads outside of car windows. And everyone's like, I don't know why she goes to get a refill. And Heather doesn't get it. She had to explain the joke and what painful thing to do. That's my favorite part of our show. So she finally admits she's a bitch because she could be. She'd get away with it. She had those looks. Yeah. And now they're gone. I just wish our more like Jenny. That fucking dike. What? What do you want to play Jenny? Well, she's got huge tits for one. Yeah. She may look like a fucking dude. But she has a banging body barrier. You don't understand. I've seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. I would have seen her in the show. She had her imagination. They were trying to lure us in. And you know what? She's a lot tougher than you think, Barry. Her mom has been married every 15 minutes. You think the shit she's had to put up with those steps that you know, you've seen porn. You know how the step family thing works. It's not as glamorous as they make it out to be. Her mom can't-- In fact, it's kind of traumatic when you have stepfather fuck you. Every single time that woman walks by the laundromat, she gets stuck at a washing machine. You want to grow up with a mom like that? Hey, look at that creepy house over there. All the windows are boarded up. Let's check it out. And they-- and that guy said, he's entitled little brats. There's pounding on the door. Hey, motherfuckers, let us in. Castle Darktrend, I read it. I know my ride to Texas, Elon Musk. Barry goes around town acting like he owns everything. This is good. See, this is why I like Barry, too, because Barry is just like, I'm the pope of fucking chili top. My dad is great. He's so oblivious to danger because his ego is so out of control. He's never had any fucking-- what's the word I'm looking for here? He's never faced any adversity in his life. A bowl. He's never been humble. Yeah. Just like Murray said about me back in the day, he one time Murray-- this is a true story. One time Murray looked at me, just like looked right into my soul and he goes, you've never had your ass kicked. Have you? And I said, no, he goes, I can tell. Yeah. It needs to happen. And that means-- and I say that for everybody. Everybody needs an ass whoopin' in their life. That's not like putting a hospital, but you need to be-- you need to know your place. Yeah. I've been on both sides for the ass whoopin', you know, it humbles. I can't say I've been on both sides, but I've had one side, geez, man. Yeah. Yeah. You still need your ass whoop boy, by the way. Well, we'll push you down to play this there. So he goes around back to check, 'cause she's like, no, it's answering. Go check on him back. And he looks in, he's like the squalor and filth of this fuckin' house. But I didn't even like the set dressing of this fuckin' movie because the fuckin' first one, he had like the bone like fuckin' chandeliers, they had the chicken and the cage. Yeah. This was just a slob house. Yeah. I don't know what was going on. They're like drapes, like filthy drapes, there's supposed to be skin, like, I don't know what that is. I don't think it's supposed to be skin, I think it was just supposed to be old and rotten, because this family, it's a family of three dudes, Darla's not gonna clean up after him. She plays like Den Mother as much as she can. She's not related. Yeah. But she's dating Wilmer. But she's not their fuckin' maid. She doesn't even, we'll get into that relationship later. We played it out, but she is a strong independent woman. Yeah. We learned that. We learned that there's three boys who have no fuckin' red. One is softer, am I right? Hard beginning are. Oh, hard beginning are. They've, they don't get told no, they have protection back to the foreshadow. So they just can get away with whatever the fuck they want. Why the fuck would you want to clean your house? Right. Yeah. I mean, the whole thing is supposed to be just, yeah, yeah, I don't know. So if I saw that, I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here. Like you said, he's, he doesn't know the ways of the world. Yeah. It's like a newborn baby. They don't have welcoming signs like in this house we believe in Trump or something like that. They, they have ominous shit and creaky fucking porch swings and shit like that. Oh, these guys totally vote for Trump. Well, of course they do, but they didn't have the signs out yet. In this house. We vote for Trump. We vote for Trump. Even they are like, this shit's cultist, but he is our president. Heather's got to take, you know, she's got the fuckin' heel, she's got to take, uh, that's all right. Get around that house, find somebody for me, I'm going to take a break though. There's a, there's a, like a porch swing she gets on. That's right. And she's just, you know, as Barry's lurking around, we start to see someone's lurking on her. Yeah. Apparently Leatherface, student of the one and only, uh, uh, show Kazoogee, is he's got the ninja skills. Yeah. It's a big lumbering oaf. Just sneaks up on her. Apparently he oiled the fuckin' floor planks because there's no creaking. No creaks. Yeah. Right behind her. Pulls a Biden. Smelling that hair. He only made it to the fourth power of the ninja before he got that traumatic brain injury and made him the... Oh, that's right. That's right. I hate to see that. The hard beginning arm. Oh, okay. It had him in gear abuse. So it's like long-term or short-term memory where it's like it's still embedded in there or you can channel it when he needs to, but he couldn't learn the other things. He's biding in it. Just... Smelling that hair. Up back to the back ground. Backyard. Where Barry is looking in through a little... Hey! Open the fuck up, bitch. It's just like fucking two in the morning. I see you got a cushion. I want a fucking Papa John's pizza. No. I gotta take a piss. Hurry up. He did have to... Yeah. I'd just piss outside if I looked into that house and told that I'd be like, "We're getting the fuck out of here." I'm not pissing in that. Nope. You're catching something. That was the cleanest thing in the fuckin' house. Is that toilet? Was it clean? I told him to clean this thing in the house. Look, we've talked too much about needing your toilet and when you start to realize it... Even they understood that. Yeah. That's the one thing they did clean the toilet. The toilet. The toilet. Spot. Squaller everywhere. Oh, shit. Literally shit splattered on the wall. Above the toilet it was a rack of toilet paper and a rack of bar cleaner, you know, supply or whatever, and they keep that toilet spotless. So, I'm standing my ground, turns around, and this is where you meet W.E. and he's like, "Where's the beef?" Claire Barton, 1986, because he quotes shit. That's his hook. First of all, I thought his name was just W and then it's all the credits of W.E. I don't remember hearing that E ever. I think with the Southern draw they just rolled in the W. W. W. W. E. I shortened it to W because everyone kept calling W, which is even funnier because of a president we ended up having that we refer to from Texas is the reason that our country is bugged. So, yeah, W's character arc is I quote shit from other famous people. Because that's what being fucking smart is. I think is infinitely better than what basically every other Texas chance I'm asked for a movie did. We get the hitchhiker and the first one, right? And that guy's fucking creepy, right? But then you get chop top. That's amazing. Chop top is amazing. I love chop top. And that's the only hitchhiker sequel that worked. Every other movie, they're just like, "This guy's just gonna be fucking crazy and they're all fucking irritating." Yeah. They always have that one character that's irritating. This guy was just unhinged because he only speaks in fucking quotes, but at no point was he like, "I wanna make some stupid voice and use some stupid fucking face." I agree with this. Speaking of quotes. So he's a fucking weirdo. So Barry is like, "Hey, I gotta fucking pick a piss. Let me in your fucking house, asshole." You gotta understand, my dad is a lawyer. And I know the castle doctrine. And I know. What you gonna do when Hulk come in and he runs wild on you? Hulk Hogan. 1982. He talks. He speaks in quotes. I didn't say he spoke good quotes. No, you're not wrong. He puts a line in the sand and he says, "Would you like to float this or rocket ship, brother?" And then he just is told and he just draws a line, he's like, "I'm standing in my ground." And then he chased after Barry or something because I don't bury one in the house. There's this tree. Yeah. Now it cuts back to leather and heather. And she finally turns around and sees him. Yeah. Yeah. And he just immediately starts weeping because he's a fucking emo leather fan. He doesn't start weeping. He's scared because just because you are a hard beginning are, doesn't mean you're inherently dangerous and murderous. There's a stranger on his porch, he's like, "Oh, what's this person?" She looks nice. Yeah, but she stands up and she's like, "Oh my fucking man." And he starts screaming. Wait a minute. I'm starting. You are slandering Heather. He was not expecting her boundaries. He was touching and sniffing her hair. He was touching and sniffing her hair. No, that's true. That's true. If you were in grade school, teacher would say, "I'm not saying Heather's wrong for jumping up and screaming. He's wearing a fucking mask made of human flesh." He can see and breathe well through that mask, too. That's impressive. I guess he lives his whole life through that mask, though. So that startles Barry, who's like, "Hey, man." Did he have the chainsaw on him? No. No, he did not. Hey, man. That's my girlfriend calling out. It's all cool. I go check on her. I'll calm her down. I know. I can tell you do not like when women scream around you. You just quote a hulk hulk and that's pretty fucking rad. Let me just let me go check on my girlfriend and calm her down. He starts walking to the door and W is falling behind him with double barrel behind him. Like in his back and Barry pulls a slick one on him. He walks in the door and immediately slams the door. I watch W and he's like, "Huh, gotcha." I wish these guys helped me sell it, but you actually did the scene more justice because he literally does just slowly open the door, look back, close it, and then turn the dead ball. He's mildly irritated by the situation. I would be shitting myself if some fucking guy to God, some crazy hillbell in middle and nowhere. In a filthy house, speaking in only quotes, says a double barrel pointed at me. Well, they were just flying over Barry's head except for the whole clothing quote. Meanwhile, in the front of the house, Leatherface is grabbing fucking Heather, dragging her in the house. Has dragged her in the house at this point, but again, Barry is not bothered because his dad owns a dealership. Yeah. Like you were saying, Heather has been abducted at this point and dragged her in the house and forced into a freezer by-- No, no, no, no. She runs into a room and locks the door. You're right, right. A room full of like specimen jars. Specimen jars. What the fuck are these guys up to? Whatever the fuck they look like. Lab-grown meat. They have no parental supervision. Lab-grown meat. Who is it? W-E? He's like, "I can't do this anymore. I can't eat live human flesh. I want lab-grown flesh." Good, because no one eats human flesh in this movie either. Yup. We're cannibals with chainsaws, neither. These guys have more in common with the fucking ninja turtles than they do with the Texas Chainsaw family. True. Don't-- Argue that, Mike. Don't. Me. The leather face pulls a Kool-Aid man and punches through the door. All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And grabs Heather-- Oh, that's a-- Copyright infringement. Copyright infringement. Grabs Heather. Oh, no. Grabs Heather. No. No. Heather, too. No. Takes her to the freezer in the back, throws her in there, call back to the original. Right. You're right. And then she pops it open. He's like, "Wow, what am I going to do?" Oh, he's like, "What was it? Like a giant air-conditioning unit? I don't know what it is, but it cracked me up that like he slams her in there and she's immediately like, "Nope. Not staying in here." And-- Well, yeah. That's what you would do, right? Right. And it happens like twice before you finally put something on it to keep it closed. Right. So, then we get the scene with Barry doing his thing where he locks out W. And he's like, "Well, I did have to take a piss, so I'm going to go in this filthy fucking bathroom with a spotless toilet." Hey, Heather. I fought a bathroom. I'm going to let my weasel out and we're going to take a piss. He didn't even care about Heather, right? Yeah. At this point, he's just looking to empty his bladder. He was calling out through, though. It's all safe now. It's got time for the god, he's crazy, but it's okay. Ghost takes a piss. Piss is all over the toilet seat. This is why we know Barry's a fucking piece of shit. He's that guy. Yeah. At the show, who's like, "You could clearly--" I mean, it's like, "How's your aim, buddy?" There's this huge fucking toilet bowl here. That's right. Dad taught-- Dad taught them to a game when-- Back when we used to have the giant urinals, you know? Yeah. He taught them to a game that's like-- Back when America was great. Your dad is not only a lawyer, not only the greatest Dairy Queen operator ever, but I'm the greatest pitcher of all time. And he just showed him how to fucking let that dick fly. He's spelling his name on the wall. That's right. And then he turns around-- doesn't he flush on top of it? Oh, no, it doesn't. I think he doesn't wash his hands. I think he's probably-- to be fair, he might have intended to wash his hands, but something happens to where I also would not have washed my hands in this situation. To be fair, I don't think there was a sink in this room. It was like a bare room with a tub and a toilet. Yeah, there was a bucket there, but it was a living bucket at this point. It turns around and there's just a rotting corpse in the tub. Oh, shit. I haven't seen one of those since the last one. That's literally his reaction. Oh, that's fucked up. Walks out. Like, I would be like, "Fucking shit!" He looks panicked. He doesn't go completely bananas, but he's like, "Oh fuck." Oh, no. Walks out right in the leather face and was it an axe handling guy? I didn't notice what-- I thought it was a hammer, I didn't notice that. Because he rear back, he's going to hit him and chop his head off and blow it. Because Texas James, I'm asking her. No, no. No. Gets hit with the handle and knocked out. It disappeared. Yeah. That's the last we see at Barry. I'm like, I mean, you could be killed by getting hit in the head with an axe handle. Unless you don't be bossed. He would have been like, if we were watching real Texas James. He takes Barry to the room where Heather was at to go put him in the freezer, then Heather pops out and that's where he puts Heather on the hook. Oh. Because Barry has to go over the freezer. Call back to the first movie. Yes. Yes. And so that's probably the most horrifying thing that happens in this movie. The old meat hook routine. So, yes. Oh, no, man. There's a scene towards the end where I-- that's also-- I would, I don't know. I would not like a meat hook through my back. Call me crazy. Neither would I. No, I wouldn't like that. Rose Barry in the freezer, and that's the last we ever see at Barry. Yeah. I thought he was going to show up later. They were going to torture him at the dinner, you know, but no, he's just gone. No, I think-- I think the filmmakers are like, that's probably all the Barry the audience can handle. Back to Jenny. She's walking back to check out Sean, see what's going on, and Wilmer drives up. Yeah. Acting crazy as shit. Hey, I was just at a crash site and I know the cars weren't there and you're driving a record. Clear out the cars. Is that your boyfriend back there? Getting the truck, bitch. Okay. Like what? Yeah, Tim's only slightly exaggerating here, but it is pretty bad where he's like getting the fucking car, bitch. He's like going hard and she's like, where are my fucking friends? Bitch, I said get in the car. Yeah. And then he starts to drive off. There's this, back in the old days, parents would teach their-- you do not disrespect an elder, whatever they tell you to do, you do, you know? A fine blue car. He had to give her a last son. He's just like, you know, you really got to be careful getting in a truck with a stranger, especially a crazy motherfucker with a robot leg. Yeah. He does. He's like, shouldn't get him kind of strangers, you know, there's this guy picked up this hitchhiker pretty little thing, cut off both of her arms, and that's what bums me out, man. That guy had no imagination. And she's like, that's an interesting story. I think I'd like you to stop now. And she says it about like that. I think I want to get out of the car now. Sir, if you would be so kind, I'm kind of creeped out. She does the fucking thing where she puts her index fingers together and screws. Oh, yeah. Excuse me, sir. If you wouldn't mind stopping the car, so maybe I could get out. That's how we'd imagine a woman's got to come on to them. Yeah. So, Gessensei, if you wouldn't mind, show me your fingers. If you wouldn't mind, give me some of that. How about you take a look in the back, honey? And she won't. And he's taken her head fucking slick. Slaps the glasses off her face. Oh, my God. And just wreck. This is where McConaughey takes Billy Dragot's acting class, which he showed up. He phoned it the fuck in. He wasn't paying attention. He's probably looking up some chick's skirt or playing with his penis or something. He did not take the lessons here because he is trying to do all kinds of Billy Dragot hand-acting all over her face, creepy crawler spiders all over her face. Forces her to look back and lo and behold, who's in the back of the truck. Oh, no. Is that my friend, Sean? Sean. No. Why would you do that? Guy who isn't from the burbs. No. I would not like to be in this truck anymore. I am bailing, opens the door, does a nice little cartwheel out. I do not like your choice of music, sir. I'm going to matter, man. You don't like poison? You don't like to rock? C.C. Deville on the guitar is unmatched. Eddie Van Who? That's Wilmer Sorespot. When you start chittin' on poison, that's his poison. Eddie, nobody bangs skins like Ricky Rocket, motherfucker. Who is the bass player? No idea. No idea. I was... Thank you for taking it there. I really wanted to know if Mike could do the right thing. Nobody gives a shit about the bass player. It was Bobby Doll, by the way. Oh! So... Wait. Are we going to get a guitarist here? C.C. Deville. Oh, yeah. Brett Michael. We all know Brett Michael's a singer, both of an angel. Four people. Ricky Rocket Drums, Brett Michael Singer, C.C. Deville Guitar, and Bobby Doll on. Have you guys actually seen him live? No! A million times, there's time to come through town. No. Because I am... And you didn't know on Skinny Bob last week? Of course. And every show with on Skinny Bob. I did. That was the Alicia Days, man. She took me to that show. Wow. Yeah. With them. Boys in it, who's rat with them, or... Dude, I could not tell you. I don't know what I was doing there. My sister had me go to Brian Adams with her a few years ago. They were doing minor league baseball stadium tour. And it was a co-headlining thing. So every city they would switch off, it was Brian Adams and Death Leopard. Wow, that was a Lamma God Mastinon situation. That flipped. Yeah. Wow, you got to see the lep. I got to see the lep. And Brian Adams. Did you pour some sugar out of something? I did not. But I did enjoy that summer of '69. Yeah. I know what that's talking about. Murray explained it to me. All right. So he's like, "Run, bitch, run!" And she's like, "All right, I'll walk in front of your truck. I'm terrified." No. Stop. He literally has to say, "No, could you please be more terrified here?" There's an open field. Maybe you can run through it? He dials it down to one and he's like, "Hey, girl, come on." No, I don't get out of it. I'll work in Long Bay's. All right. I dropped this record. People driving like crazy. You know, I just, I need my release. All right. I can't go for a run with this bum leg, this bum robot leg. So you know, if you could do me a favor and you could just, you know, dial it up a little, but just pretend like you're into it. All right. You don't actually have to be. But you know how girls fake orgasm all the time. You know, if you could just fake a little scream for me, that'd be great. All right. Let's try this again. Let's see. You just explained this character perfectly. That was, I, for a minute there, I tuned out and I thought I was listening to Matthew McConaughey sell me on Bitcoin or something. Like that was perfection. Goddamn it. Oh. So I'm satisfied, uh, Wilmer. That's chasing her. He really, his dick is soft as fuck right now because he's like this woman, and he's got like a robo thing on his dick too. I'm going to talk about the apparatus on his penis. So she's like, all right, I'll run in this field. That gets you off. It's, it's, I feel movement. Yeah. And so he's chasing her and then she's known, but there's some trees, finally, right? Even though there are trees right on the side of the boat, but you know, hey, yeah, she saw a cool field. We're in a silly place here. So we run through the field and everything, we get to the other side. Of course, Wilmer stopped by all the fucking trees here and he's like, Oh, you're going to lack what's on the inside. There might be some more to that. I don't remember. He puts on the big flood light. I can't see. He teases her and everything, but he, you know, it ain't like he gives up. Like, all right. You got me. Yep. You're standing in some trees. I can't, obviously my bum. Like I can't do anything. Live it. Little lady. And then we finally 45 minutes in this will we get what we came for. Chainsaw silencers. Chainsaw, many people don't know this. This is a chainsaw's work. You can put them on silent mode. People don't know that. These people are like, I don't want to use a chainsaws too loud. Hey, did you fucking put the silencer button on Murray? If you would have looked closely at the chainsaw, it's actually there's a big tube attachment that you screw. Yeah. Yeah. And they work on a button. You don't have to pull. No, there's no ripboard. There's no nothing. It's just like just goes leather face finally shows up with a fucking chainsaw. The money. Oh, we've been watching this movie to see there's all the saplings, sad ass little trees in between the two of them instead of cutting through them. He weaves through them. Like he's goddamn Barry Sanders, cutting through the goddamn Dallas Cowboys. But what's that? Why did he cut a tree down? Fucking graceful. He respects nature. He really. Oh my God. He's been watching sensei Seagal. He's like, no, you can't cut a tree down. People who respect the sauce so much and saw his family, according to their motto, he obviously is not using the gas oil blend because you're not your, your slot is not supposed to smoke. No, right. And this is fucking burning and he's chasing her across the creek. She gets across it. She sees the other version of Creek, everybody. Creek sees the house. Murray knows the south. I do know myself. That's right. He sees the house. She thinks it's refuge, but no, it's the slaughterhouse. The slaughterhouse. I'm sorry. This makes sense. If you're running for your life from a guy chasing with his chainsaw, I would go over the first house. I hate to do this, but I'm going to give this movie an out because I read something from Kim Hinkle. Yep. He claims the move, this movie is a satire on horror movies. And the reason why the villains are so ineffective because how tired horror movies have gotten at this point. So the other face is inept. He's not the master of the saw, like we see in the first movie, he, that's, it's an intentional thing. I don't buy that at all. I think he made a shitty movie. He's trying to like much like Mike, he's trying to make something about this movie that there isn't, that it isn't there. Yeah. He made a bad movie and he's not owning up to it. All right. All right. So he chases there in the house. She gets... We'll come back to this in the third act. Okay. All right. He's got it all figured out. Mike's got something for us. I like this. I'm intrigued. All right. So... You escape. Quotation marks. Right. To the leather face. That's right. Runs upstairs. Leatherface. She just shuts the door and latches it. Can't do anything, you know? That's right. Well, he has the saw, he's, he's, it's almost like he's, he's, he's impotent without the saw. We saw that much in the second one. There's very much extension of his dick. Very much so. Yeah. I don't know. They also seem to be cautious about the front door because we when he was like, pulling the shotgun and he's like, yeah, I can't do it. Yeah. That's grandpa's front door. Yeah. If you look at the door, that door looks like it's been busted. It's all glued. Right. Because that's Leatherface's thing. Yeah. And they're sick of it. Right. So Leatherface cuts through, she runs upstairs, finds a room, apparently they taxidermy people. I don't, there's like, there's a share of the standing there covered in the album powder. And he has his gone and she takes it. That's right. It comes back to the front door where Leatherface is, you know, chunking in and everything. And so she's got to shoot at him, but there's no bolts. I like that. Like we said, we alluded to that Jenny's made a stronger stuff. She will shoot first and ask questions later. Yep. Yeah. So a lot of these like these women in these movies, like, I can't kill, even though it's like this guy's fucking coming at you with a chainsaw. Yeah. Right. He's fucking. Yeah. But no bullets. What's a girl got to do? Well, Murray, our favorite strategy here. Go to the roof. Go high as possible. And that's what she does. You bust through a window, call back to a fucking the first movie and I like how she reacts immediately. Leatherface gets through the door. She can't get past him. So she goes back up the stairs right out of a fucking window to get out of the house. She doesn't go and hide in the closet. There's no stutter. She's like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. You're right. You're right. Panic would take you that way. The adrenaline rush. You would just bum rush a window. All that. Remember. No shoes. Your feet would be cut to fuck off. Where do you think die hard got there? We get into the third act of the movie and she's still barefoot and her feet. I'm like, how many times did you wash your fucking feet during filming because these things are spotless at the moment? Well, we forgot to mention Mike footfishes. Nope. Looking right. Nope. Nope. Hard. No. Hard. No, we are not hard. No, I think we talked about it hard. No, I mean, I don't care. It doesn't do anything for me. The best feet for me are tolerable and best. I've never seen a pair of feet and I'm like, oh yeah. I'm Switzerland. That's feet. I don't care. I mean, some people have better feet. I've seen some ugly feet. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. All I know is that me and Maria have been working with a new sponsor. We forgot to bring that up. The opening on the top. Yeah. We saw a guy at the show had a t-shirt with pictures of feet on it. This is the, when I said serial killer, this was talking about it. Like drawings are like pictures. No. Pictures. And it said, milk on it. Man, I love feet. Oh. More than in public. Yeah. Put it out there. More than in public. And we got a product for him. So like you said, she smartly just busts out wherever you can, you know? The one window is not boarded up. Yeah. Bust out. Because apparently this happens a lot, you know, because the first thing you do, you get a big soft hour blocking your fucking door, the next best thing to a door is a window. So the other face follows her out onto the roof. She immediately falls onto the gutter or something or hiding on, you know, she's climbing up the antenna. Well, she doesn't first climb onto the antenna because he's knocking bricks down at her. Well, yeah. From the chip. Yeah. Yeah. And then she climbs onto the antenna and he tries to cut it down. Higher. Higher ground. And she. I would be trying to hang from the gutters and dive jump down. Yeah. Exactly. She finds a low voltage wire that she starts to. Yeah. I wish they made our wires like this because like a fucking twig falls on a fucking line over here and the fucking falls down. I'm pretty happy with the wires in my backyard. We had a whole branch fall on one one time and I got to find the roof and got it off. I'm like, I can't believe this thing's still fucking standing. It's incredible. Apparently they make they make them the Texas size wires and Livonia because she's hanging on this fucking wire while a very awful stunt woman is. It totally did not. Yeah. 100% like even the most oblivious person, even the most oblivious person could clock that stunt double. Yeah. So of course she's still got a leather face on her heels here and he just chops the wire because he's got a chainsaw in his hands. Yeah. I don't know if you knew this, but leather face carries the chainsaw. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I thought the title was ironic. Yeah. I thought it was too for a while there until he finally cuts this object. Right. It's the only thing he cuts, by the way, front door and lunch. I saw him. No flash get cuts by a chance. I saw him circumcise a baby in one of the deleted scenes of this movie. That's pretty. He's pretty good with the saw. I mean, he's very intricate. I mean, that's what. Yeah. Never mind. You saw those beautiful carvings he had, those wood carvings, a bear, oh yeah. Oh yeah. You go to Uncle Sam. That's how this family makes money. They don't make chili anymore. She falls into like a greenhouse or something. I don't know what the fuck this is. Yeah. I don't really know what that was. Yeah. It's just like a house where the walls were plastic. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's where they like butcher the body. Maybe. Shit. You know. Cause I remember we used to have a guy across the street who processed deer and he did it and like he had a little thing in his garage so they would like, you know, all the guts and all that shit, you know. Yeah. He was gross. Yeah. No longer there. He was gross though. Well, he's dead. No, he was cool. He's dead. No. This was like late 70s. Tim made chili Adam. I did. He was tasty. So she apparently she did the wrestler fall where she spread out. So she tucked the chin, absorbed all the impact. She's totally fine. Yeah. She can take a ball. What a fall off 20 foot ladder, fall 22 foot ladder. No, there was this thing in the beginning of WWE shows and DVDs and stuff where they would do the whole don't try this at home and there would always be this clip of Jim Ross saying, how are they learning how to fall off 20 foot ladder? It's rhetorical. Yeah. Bob Dylan. That's my favorite Bob Dylan song. Well, that's because no, we're not getting inside by this. She did it best because she gets up immediately. She doesn't nip up, gets up and starts running. Leather face. Did he jump off the fucking roof because he's right behind her. Yeah. Yeah. Then they hit each other with the dueling pile drivers for five minutes and then. That's right. Okay. Villmer comes out. Both of them. No, it's awesome. No, it wasn't that awesome because he didn't sell it to a base. Chainsaw. See ya. She runs through the, the, the forest again, feet looking beautiful. Beautiful. Chainsaw was the second director on this movie. He, she comes to Darla Australia. Darla, guys three in the morning, she's still at work. I mean, she never stops. Get respect that. You got her respect. Whatever she got. Respect that hustle. She does a great. And guys, if you're suffering from a toe infatuation, just look up a little product like just Google it. Gintos. Gintos. Darla. It's like girl come in here. What's wrong? You know, finally showing some emotion like it's like up and down. Jenny. She, sometimes she is terrified. Most times she's mildly irritated. Yeah. She's terrified in this scene. Yep. You think this was a young actress who really found her footing or the director really told her like, I want you to be catatonic. I don't want you to react. I want you to act like you're going through a walk a Sunday walk because it's up and down in performance. I don't know because it could go either way. But Kanye's fucking on 11th throughout the entire movie, but she's just like up and down. But Kanye had been studying under the fucking wing of Wings Hauser and he was like, I could do that. He wishes. Okay. No, no, no, no. On that thing he did a good thing. I need you to run in front of my truck. Grib. Yeah. You just blew my mind now. I know I did. Wings Hauser had been the film or this movie would have been the best Texas. It would have. It would have. Honestly think that this movie could like, I love this movie. I'd love to see Wings Hauser play Vilmer. I'd even go for a Gary Busey. I can't deny a fucking Wings. Wings already was established and I think the problem was Matthew was trying to become established. And he's like, I could be a psycho guy. I could be a beautiful psycho man. And he didn't realize like the beauty in him is his Glen Powell looks and his no charisma. So we should have just gone with that and lured Jenny into his car. I think but I think Darla's playing that part. I think she's the. You're you're you're. Spoiler alert. Darla's in on it. Yeah. Because she's like, honey, because leather face sees she went there, put silencer mode back on. Yep. Oh my god. That's great. Master. And what was that movie called? Fred Williams and shit, I don't remember. No, it had the plan. It had the plan. No, it had the plan. This is July. Yeah. Yeah. It had the plan to start. People go back and look for the group visit July episode. Yeah. With Fred Williams. Oh, I'm sorry. I was thinking Jim Brown. Yeah. Jim Brown. All right. So I said, girl, that's some boys teasing you. They didn't see my tits. They just do that. Oh, yeah. They're always motorboughing because they want to motorbough my tits. You see, you understand you probably don't have tits. That's what they do. They get in there. Let me go call my my friend, W. He'll be able to figure this out. We'll get it all figured out. So she's like, W? Where's film around? We're in mind it. She doesn't know that. I guess McConaughey's filmer, so Jenny thinks everything is cool. He's like, get him over here. Moochowquico. Moochowquico. We got fun language in this movie. W.E. shows up. Seconds later. Like he was outside the fucking thing. Moochowquico. Moochowquico. Garbage bag in hand. She's like, well, no, no, this is one of my favorite parts because he just shows up with nothing, right? She's like, you didn't ring like a gunny sack or anything? Moochowquico. And he's like, what's going on this? Got a bag right here. Pulls out this fucking garbage bag. It probably was a garbage bag on the trail. He just picked it up. It was the garbage bag from the fucking trail. Jump scare. I like that. And this is where Darley does her heel turn where she's like, honey, we're gonna fucking kill you. Could you bag this bitch up already? I'm sick of working at her. And then dumb fucking j-- wait, what? Wait, you're with them? Yeah. Hold on. Of course I am, honey. This is where W gets out his fucking electric cattle prod thing. Yep. And starts fucking whipping her in the face and shocking her. It's a jackassine. It's a Johnny Knoxville jackassine where he is having fun with her. Prodertaines. That's right. Yep. Of course he did. Yeah, and she's like, oh, stop it, oh, that hurts. His quote in this was, I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is cattle prod, Johnny Knoxville, 2003. I thought I had more quotes in here. I'm surprised we have a couple across them. And so they throw the garbage bag over her face and put her in the trunk of Darley's car. Oh, yeah. This is where he quotes that. So wait, wait, wait, I'm the logistics of this, this place where I, so she ran from the house. Yes. Because Darley goes on this roundabout way to get back home. Great song. Yes. She's got to get the pizzas because they don't eat human flesh in this movie. Right. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think this is the same family. They're not, they're not so years. They have slaughters. Yeah, the slaughters. It has to be. I don't think, I don't think they have to do the fucking, cuz I, the tiny, bitty, ditty committee. They're saudgeon slaughters. Osprey. I think leather face was moved foster child to the slaughters. Okay. Okay. We've confirmed there's many inbred crazy. Yeah. So this is like, this is an odd, this could be. Now we know we always go. How did, how did, how was, how was Cruz and Sandinger now we know because half the fuck and state is just cannibalistic. Ted Cruz. Ted Cruz is leather faces brother. Slaughters could be Sawyer cousins. That could be it. Yeah. And we know about kissing cousins. So we should be doing a Texas Chainsaw Massacre family reunion and we get to see the slaughter, the soiards. Yeah. Okay. Pizza and fat, uh, human, uh, leather face spent in the summer with his cousins and the slaughterhouse. Yes. Okay. Makes sense now. The legs on this movie, man. All right. So she's so worried. She's like, do you got that bitch bagged up? I'm trying to order these pizzas. You want the veggie pizza veggie pizza. Yep. Veggie pizza. For her. Oh, it's for her. She had to keep a figure. Yeah. Okay. She wanted to keep a mailing film or you have to. And then of course you got to get the anchovies with pineapple for leather face and then the meat flavor. Yeah. He's got the pineapple and ham. That's why I was sick and twisted. He is. What did this happen? I'm not disgusting pineapple and ham on pizza. Ham? No. Pineapple. Why do I want fruit on my fucking pizza? Yeah. We don't like to eat fruit. But you like a ham and pineapple. I like fruit. Yeah. It's fine. That's good. I like fruit, but I just don't want fruit on my fucking pizza. You don't like, you don't like this. I can't understand the sweet and savory mix. I'm kind of in there. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like the sweet and savory mix. I don't like the salty and sweet mix. Oh, yeah. Like they did the peanut M&M's and shit. I don't like the pretzel M&M. Sorry. Peanut M&M's are good. Peanut M&M's? No. I don't want salty with my fucking spoon. I don't want that. Interesting. But, yeah, I can see. Yeah. I'm fine with Hawaiian pizza. I think most people. I don't know if I want olives on it, too, because sometimes you do that, too. I don't know if... I just don't like olives. I just don't like olives. The salty... I like... What's like pickles? I like them by themselves. I don't like them really mixed in with food. Oh, interesting. I like olives. Dude, yeah, because to me, my palate is super sensitive to pickles. So if something comes with pickles, I order it without, because all I'm going to taste is fucking pickles. Well, the juice is, because it's Brian and all that, and all that. We know you guys hate juice. What? I did not... I said... I said juice. Oh, my God. I did not think it's... I'm just saying. The times we're in right now. We've got to cover our ass. You know what, Murray? You're dead on. I think we have just revealed ourselves to be part of the Sawyer, Sawyer, Sullivan, whatever these families are. Slaughter. There are as much of monsters as they are. Well, yeah. Speak for yourself. Tim and I are great. Yes. I agree. Oh, wow. Wow. So... Wow. She's got to stop to get the pizza. They'll agree. All the special orders. Like, no. Remember, Leatherface doesn't like cheese on his pizza. Yeah, he's one of those guys. So he's like, she's like, "God damn it, I got to write this shit down." She goes to the... It's like a little burger shack. Like, that's what I'm sure it's what the real restaurant was. Yeah. But they specialize in pizza as well as Swiss cheeseburgers. And... They like the Swiss cheeseburger. And... So you could tell it was just like some little hamburger shack, right, in Austin. They did. And they just put like a fake fucking like... They painted a pizza thing and they put in a fake drive-through right now is what Murray is trying to say. And so this is the scene that drives me fucking nuts. Drive-through pizza did not exist at this time. The first time it happened in my life... We're talking... Well, maybe they were ahead of their time. Maybe they were. Yeah. The first time it happened in my life, well, they weren't. And I'll tell you why in a second. Oh, it was when Little Caesars opened up right next to Donatello's Pizza. I'm just speaking directly into Mike's eyes for everybody because Mike is also a Redford boy. And he knows what Donatello's is. Hey, Griff hit me with that Donatello's phone number one more time. Ah, 313. 531. 631. 6330. That's Donatello's Pizza. My brother loved Donatello's Pizza. It was good pizza. I loved it too. I loved it. They're not getting current goals from out of town. They're a fortune out of business. Yeah. They've been out of business for a long time. Donatellos. Yeah. But Little Caesars opened up right next to it. Yeah, that's why they're out of business. Yeah. See, this drive-through didn't bug me because I, as a kid, the first video store, the first indie video store that I freaked out in was shows to go that Six Mile and Inkster had a drive-through. Well, no, this is what I'm trying to get at though. They had a drive-through window set up for pizza. This establishment did not. You notice when she pulled up to that window, he said, "No cheese pizza, a veggie pizza," and an anchovy with pineapple pizza with no cheese on it, but she's near it just in case they want it on her own. She's on the side. And then said, "No crust pizza." No crust pizza. She's like, "I just want cheese." Leather face is gluten-free. Yeah. Leather face. That's it. That's how it works. He goes to hand her the pizza, he has to turn it completely vertical to get it out the window. Right. It's probably like a burger joint. Yeah. It's real. But that's what I'm saying. It was nowhere close to being the originator of drive-through pizza because they would have figured out we need to have a window where we don't have to turn it completely vertical. Right. Just cut a slot in the wall and you just push it through. Well, that's where Pina says to go in. It's glory hill, Murray. I'm talking about pizza-sized. I'm talking about jokes. I'm jokes. Yeah, I know. We're killing it. You're killing something. Oh, she's like flirting with the like, "Hey, baby, it's like a fucking Simpsons fast-food worker." You're pizza, Smell. No, she's on this one. Do you remember Sam Triplett? I do. Yeah. I was good at it. I don't, by the way. Yeah. Neither do any of you guys. Redford. She was a nice gal. She was a nice gal. I've told you about Sam. You've seen her at a go show because I gave her a hug the one time. I remember that. Yeah, I know. Of course you remember that. I was like 12 years ago. Really? But yeah. She left an impression. She was just like, "Gift, someday I won't be dating you'll actually be a man and we'll have relations." Well, that's romantic. That's romantic. That's a romantic. That's a romantic. A encouraging thing. And the other nice thing she said to me was, "You're like that teenager, the perpetual teenager from the Simpsons who always had the craggy voice and everything." Well, she was just very nice things to say about you, and I know why you're so fond of her. She elated me and then when I told her I was like, "I need to emasculate you." You've probably had no pubes. I wish I'd known about this at that go show to punch the bitch in the face. Look, I'm not saying it's okay to hit women. Sometimes it is. All right. So now. I did punch her friend Nikki Dearing and had one. Good for you. She's like, "Griff, we're moving on." Me and Nikki Dearing are good friends. Don't entertain me about this. They put the drinks in a bag. What kind of sick fuck puts the drinks in a bag? Canadian. Bumpfock Texas, dude. Or Bumpfock. Wait, Bumpfock, Texas is like, "We're not Canadian at all. That's too liberal for us." And they put drinks in the bag just like Canadians do? I didn't know Canadians did that. That's the only way you can get a drink over there. If you want an RC Cola, bag. I don't want an RC Cola for a time. Can I get some ice cubes in there, sir? The bag is sealed. Oh, I hate that too. I know there's some people because they feel like they're getting ripped off if they got ice. Are you one of those guys? You're like ice in your drink? I like a little bit of ice. I like a lot. I like a lot. I got a cold. I don't like a lot of ice. So here's a thing. I want a slush. Here's the thing. If you ask for no ice, it's still going to be cold because it's coming out cold from the apparatus. No, it's tepid. It's not. It's not. I need it. I got it. Then you're going to some weird places. No, I got it. Have you ever worked in a place that has a pop? It has a pop. It's not. It's not room temperature. I agree with you, but it's not cold enough for me. That's fair. Right. I like a little bit of ice. I hate it. When I get a little trickle of ice, like three cubes, you're literally picking them up individually. No, get that fucking scoop, pour it in. Enjoy your water down, pop, dude. It's not watered down. It's cold. It's like drinking. It's like drinking a Coke from a glacier. That's what you want. Refreshing. Five minutes ago, I get the look of death. You're stalling this show for so long. I need to go home and eat dinner. People right now are having -- relationship to breaking up right now because they're arguing about what they think should be the proper ratio. Ice ratio to pop. Let us know. All right. So, she has finished ordering her pizza and the pizza guy, "Hey, ma'am, I hear a mercury in the back seat, the trunk of your car. Maybe you should check it out." It's literally Jenny saying, "Help me, get me out of here." "Help me. I'm sad back here." It's very hot in this trunk. It's getting hot in here. I'm taking off all my clothes. "What did she say?" And she's like, "You want to see? You want to see what's back here?" "Well, ma'am, I can't, I'm on the duty." "It's a chainsaw Charlie was working." And behind them are some pigs, some cops. "Yes. And of course, what is it?" And they're profiling. What are they there to order, Marie? Probably donuts. Yeah. Zero donuts. What do you want? Didn't they make it? Black coffee? Two black coffees, please. I thought, I could have sworn they did make a donut show, didn't they? They did not. Two black coffees. He's sitting right there for them. They just left it on the table. Don't hang him through. And she's pretty good. So, the cop goes up, he's going to have time to wait. He's going to get it right from the fucking store. The driver of, you know, of this platoon was a woman, and so she, he's like, "I'll go check out." And he's like, "Fat chance again with her." So, even she was giving it, ribbon him, that he wasn't going to get in there. Thankfully, as he pulls up, they're settling all seen in the trunk, and the guy, the fucking fast food teenager, "Man, I'm your drink. Your back drink's ready." Paper bag. It's stopping out of the paper bag. Where's Texas? Texas was green. I'm never going to Texas. That's how they fucking give you a drink. I think I'm going to be in Texas next month, so I'll tell you. Texas is the reason, the reason the president's wet. I've said that not, oh, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. Big as no. Because Elon lives there now, he gets everybody wet, right? Taylor's trying to hook up with him. So the cop is like, "Meanwhile, Jenny, please get me out of here. I am tirefied for my life." Tired terrified. I like how you did that. Yeah, they do this fucking bargaining. She's like, "Well, you shut up. She's like, "I can't breathe. Will you give me an airhole? If I give you an airhole, will you shut up?" Yeah, that seems like a reasonable thing. But she gives her fucking airhole and then she shuts the fuck up. Yeah. Not bother. Yeah. Not bother. Trash. So the cop is great. Seven out of ten. Seven out of ten. Okay. So the cop is like, "Ma'am, I'm a cop. I want to see what's in your trunk." Oh, no. You can't. I know my rights. Yeah. I'm a nominated fucking constitution, fourth amendment, illegal search and seizure. Yeah. I'm a sobber and sneeze. Excuse me, sir. I'm an oath keeper and you can't look at my trunk unless I say so. Unless you want to look in this trunk and she flashes her butt at him and he says, "That is the flattest ass I've ever seen and I love it." I love that power suit though. Power suit is great. You got me there, ma'am. He's screwing his way back to his car. You just like throwing the reverse card in the game of Uno. You just can't count. So she gets her fucking dripping wet bag. It's not even... You're not even talking about her vagina right now. You're talking about her... I do not call the vagina tripping wet bag. No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Mike. Did you want to get home soon? I mean, can't count hunger for dinner, but it's all right. Let's not... Let's not... Let's talk the real episode. Yeah. We're doing a great job here. We're going to be consistent with our pace here. I said at the beginning, we're going to have long... We're going to have a guess. We have too much fun. There's going to be a long episode. Sorry. Exactly. But you guys are thirsty for bagged soft drinks now. Yes. So you're welcome. Go have a bagged beverage. Come back. So they get on the road. The cops are following. We're like, "Yeah. The cops are going to save Jenny." No. They just... They just ride by the guy cop winks at Darla. She makes back. Yeah. They head off to the detour. Which is where we turn to the slaughterhouse. On the way to the slaughterhouse, somehow... I guess she... I fucking... Hi there. I must have done fucking Ninja Warrior because she's got some upper body strength. She pulled herself off of the hook through the back. Yep. Miley, irritated by that, crawls her way to the road. These kids are drawn to the roads. Yeah. That's true. That stops help me. I'm kind of in a bad situation here. She's probably lost a lot of blood, man. Is she? Well, she should be weak. Yet there was no blood. And Darla, of course, shows a little bit of compassion. Mike, please help us understand what Darla does here. This is your movie. Darla... Darla grabs a... Darla is not the killer of the group. Darla is a branch and basically starts tapping Heather on the head and Heather's like, "Stop fucking hitting me!" Which she's allowed to be mildly irritated here because the amount of force she's being hit with would not hurt her. It would be irritated. It's irritating. She would not do well in American Ninja Warrior. No. Yeah. No. Well, this isn't her bag, man. It's just flashes, high school kids, picks up the pizza, has a weird toxic relationship with the Wilmer. Yeah. That's good point. All right, I'll be back for you, honey. I gotta get these wet... At least my fucking front seat is so good for these fucking RC Colas. So... He arrives at the house. My front seat is so good. Leatherface being taunted by... He's the little brother. He's being taunted by W.E. He gets fucking prodded in the ass with the cattle prior. I will say, this was very reminiscent to me and my brother like goofing around and then my mom shows up with the down and tell us pizzas. 3-1-3-5-3-1-6-3-3-0. And then we just fucking chill the fuck out because it's like, oh my god. It's fucking pizza time. Garlic crumbs to everybody. Well, she's like, W-E? Get them RC Colas out of my fucking front seat. Hey, who the fuck made you bomb bit? And she puts him in check. She's like, I ain't fucking Leatherface. I'll fuck you up if you fuck with me. That's right. And he backs off. That's right. You're right. He's in the packing order here. And he quotes some John Paul Jones at her. I didn't write down the quotes because that would take up too much space. Well, I'll come from the land of the ice and snow with a, I forget the rest of that lyric. But it's OK. Because I'm not W.E. Yeah. He's John Paul Jones. He's quoting Led Zeppelin, of course. Oh. I see what he's doing. That's the John Paul Jones. He's right. Right? Right. I assume so. We're about explaining a joke and Murray has explained a joke. Would you like to continue? No. No, because I know when to let it go. Stop fighting you two. Yeah. Darla comes in. No more. We alluded. They have a very toxic yet hot neurotic relationship. Yeah, it's fucking, it's fucked up. The best kind of relationships. Hey, well, they clearly hated each other at the beginning. Clearly. Because they're in love. There's still some hate floating in here. He's like, God damn it, bitch. Why didn't you fucking charge up my batteries for my five fucking remote controls? You know, I can't use my robo legs without a remote control. You know, since I brought it up earlier in this episode, being in the home theater world, this is what it felt like. Old people would bring me every remote they had in their house from the devices. They do not have any more. And they're like, which one turns the TV on? They're like, which one do you think? Is it any of the remote you've had in the last 40 years that have a product, a label on there that is not matching to your TV right now? No, it is not. It is the one remote that you were just handed by me, the guy setting up your TV. That is your remote control. But I used to use this and it's like a fucking, it's a remote. It's a Magnavac. It's one of those old, just like it looks like a fucking square. Yeah, it's two buttons on it, on and off, there's separate buttons. That was this shit I dealt with. And that is what is apparently controlling Wilmer's lag. Oh. W walks in with that trash door, look, we're leather-faced, we're starting to see the whole family come home. That's how our third act opens up. And you're like, oh man, that's the third act. They all work the night shift, whatever Darla does, like, I mean, there is a night shift for a tow truck driver, but I don't know what the fuck of Darla does. Maybe she's a dispatcher. I don't fucking know. She might be an dispatcher. All right. So she's got the pizza. It's already gone cold, by the way. They're already popping it into the bowl. In the toaster oven. Toaster oven, pizza-sized toaster oven that they have, everybody's fucking nice, I would love to have one of those. Everybody's complaining, everyone is yelling and she's like, I just want my family to not have a nice dinner. Wilmer's, he's the basically dad of the family. And he's getting pissed off with all these kids bitching and moaning and fighting. Oh, you shut the fuck up. They brought in Jenny. She's like sitting in a chair. That's right. As the fucking garbage bag over with the hole. That's right. They rip it open. And then this is where Wilmer starts cutting a promo on her, telling her about how she's pretty face. Wrapping the face, clutching, sticking fingers in her mouth. Yes. He he's like sitting on her lap, so they're facing each other. Yeah. Matthew McConaughey in this movie constantly was leading with two fingers and walking in that direction. He loved that two finger point. He did that like nine times. He was always doing the V for Wilmer. Yeah. Yeah. I hate you. Yeah. I didn't like that at all. I hate Wilmer. I hate it. He's like he's, he's at 11 throughout for the rest of the movie and I 100% believe he's doing that V for Wilmer because we get a couple scenes where he just starts yelling his own name. It's right. No, you're dead on. He's not feeling like he's being noticed in life, you know, this is where all his frustration comes from. He built a fucking robot leg, right? And nobody cares. He was in a shot back hose. Exactly. A shot back. And a remote control from a magnavox. And everyone's talking about Elon Musk. Yeah. What about Google? Who stole his idea? Right. For all that fucking. Yeah. Fucking. He was about to launch leg acts and then Elon Musk was like, I can't even do a South African accent. I'm not even going to do that. Mike just got the joke of the episode. Everybody like. You want that? No, that was what Elon would bring to it. He probably had a better name. You thought like X, but X on it. It's like the mechanical like brace that blade runner would wear. Oh my God. You guys are two on point right now. You're channeling Elon. And I don't like it. I don't like it. And so yeah, he's just finger dark. Marga. No. He's like finger in her mouth. He's just doing it on her face. You think all I want to do is kill you. He's a loose. He's alluding to the hardest of ours. Yes. He's a strangling her. You into that? Do you like that? And that's when Darla finally cuts him off. She's getting jealous. She's a replacement. Yep. She's got the fucking bruises at her neck. She's like, take me out back like fucking you haven't showed me that kind of passion. It's so long. I brought you pizza. And the film was like, none of you understand my genius. You need to storms off. W just starts going off quoting William Johnson. I don't know what the fuck that is, but I did a good job of catching the name. She's got the names. None of the quotes. Great job. Well, Murray, here's the thing. The quotes take up more space than the names. Yeah, I know. And that's why I don't want to fucking bother. We're already taking too long. Darla is like, don't worry, baby, because she sees she's like, maybe if I do a throttle, like Wilmer will keep me around, you know, so she's getting in good with Jenny. Yeah. And then Heather has leather face comes in dragon leather. I don't think Darla wants to be there. I think she's making the best of a bad situation. Yeah. We'll come back to that. Wait, but she left her husband for Wilmer. How bad was her fucking husband? If this is a better situation, we'll come back to that. Okay. He's got a backstory. I like it. I'm excited to hear this. And Jenny's like, what are you going to do with Heather? She's like, Oh, fuck, I'm just a mom. I don't want to go to school today. You know, I got a headache, I got cramps and she's like everybody says no selling. I'm getting fucking frustrated with this movie. I'm Vilmer right now. Yeah. I'm frustrated. I'm looking for a mouth with the fingers. Yeah. Right. Because Vilmer is frustrated. He's like, there's not enough attention on me. The handsome man who happens to be stuck in this fucking family going on with the functional dick as long as I have the remote control that works, my fucking dick, I'm in the mood for fucking law, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah, who walks back in, you know, bites fucking, uh, we don't see it. We just see it. It was either. He bites out of the nose ruins or the face that Leatherface wanted the first choice. Yeah. Shit. He moved Wilmer ruins it by eating. We don't know. We, I didn't even know what the fuck he was doing until he turned around and he had blood in his mouth. I thought he was just doing a Jean Simmons impression, but no, he'd be better. We have a full breakdown. Darla's like, I got to get Jenny on this room. I got a pretty her up. I got to give her a couple slices of the no cross cross the ball pizza with the garlic crust without the crust. It's just garlic. It does a ring of garlic powder run a circle. But she's and so she's cleaning her off pretty up. She puts her in her best 1980s dynasty fucking dress on the glitter and shit on it. Glitter and gold. Tom. You're looking so pretty and you're like, why, why don't you help me Darla? I can tell you do not want to be here as well as I do. We got to understand little sugar boobs, Vilma works for some people, some government people. They're deep, deep, deep, and we got to point out Vilma had Illuminati written on the side of his record. So yeah, he's this a detail on the mic. You notice that? Yes. Oh my. So he's in deep into the queue and he is cute. Vilma. He might be cute. That's what we know. He's not but that's what Darla thinks because he's been feeding her a blind for a while. Maybe she's fine. She knows that he works for those people. The guy who shot Kennedy, the guy who shot Martin Luther King, the guy who killed the cub that RFK Jr put in his car. Yeah, he knows all that shit. And she like so what is is Darla just with him because she wants to learn the truth. She wants to know what to area 51 was it was there to to Roswell? I think Darla had a boring ass fucking husband, okay, didn't pay enough attention to her. He was married. It was job. Yes. Vilma, a little dangerous. He's the rated our guy. He's unpredictable. Exciting. He's a hard argument. He could take it to her. He pays attention to her. Right. Then she realized just how fucked he is but she gets off on it. I mean, she gets off on it but I think it's a bit much for her and if she could leave, she would but she's being kept there by the people that Vilma works for to keep him happy. Yeah. I don't know because in the next scene with Vilma, she's enjoying herself. Yeah. She enjoys that aspect of being with Vilma. She likes the crazy sex. She likes the crazy sex. So she's got the flip. Usually it's a guy who's like, I'm with a crazy broad but the sex is so good. I can't leave. Yeah. She likes the crazy on him sex. Okay. You can wreck her. Oh yeah. He wrecks her. Oh yeah. He wrecks her. He's a guy. He's jokes. Makes sense. Vilma fucking charges in the room. This is all fucking Vilma does for the rest of the movie. He just runs in the room, gets in people's faces, clutches their faces, gets his face up to their face. Right. Sucks their soul out of their mouth. Right. Jenny completely drives in that awful dress. They're at the dinner table now. He's pointing with his two fingers, storming through. No. Before that. He's in the room with Darla's talking and he puts a knife to her throat. Okay. And he starts threatening her and shit and this is where she's just like, go ahead and do it. Like she's getting sick of this shit, Jenny, because she's like, this isn't the first time she did a knife to her throat. We've eluded. She's had her stepfathers. Yeah. She's bored by this. And he's like, you want me alive for some reason, asshole, because why would you do this? And he has no answer. He just puffs off. Is this the scene? Are we in the kitchen still? No. We're in the dining room. Dining room. He backs off. Oh, sweet spirit. Take me now. He just already grabs like a Bible and he starts like flipping through it and shit closes it and then looks up and is like, oh, man, what am I going to do? You see that there's some fractures in this happy family and Jenny picks up on that. So while they're watching Vilmer, because he's always performing, he's a fucking narcissist. He's like, look at me. Look at me. She grabs the fucking shotgun and is sitting by the stove. Oh, I said this was the kitchen. We're still in the kitchen. We're not in the dining room yet. Pulls the fucking gun on him. Right? Because they're all in fighting. So she gets, she's able to just grab a gun sitting there, points it at Vilmer and W's like, why don't you go ahead and shoot? You can't kill him. He's immortal. He's immortal. He's buying into the shit. Now he's been shot stabbed, eating by a shark, shit out by a giant. Yeah, finds something over him once. And Vilmer's like, yeah, I grabbed the beard, chugs and it pours it all on himself, flash dance style. Get shoot me, bitch. Yeah. I dare you. Give me, bitch. Maybe there's some bullets in there, baby. There isn't. He pulls out two shells. How about you try these, puts them on the table. Okay. We're getting into Texas Chainsaw Meets, goddamn, uh, Mad Max world here. It's the, it's the, like, you know, the chance here and you got W, make sure to shoot him in the goddamn gut so he gets poisoned and gut right that motherfucker. So he's calling out Jenny's like, I don't think you have the stones to fuck. And shoot me, bitch, bitch. W is like, Hey, man, to be or not to be. That's a question. That's a question. And you know, William Shaco spear and Darla's like, Oh, everybody, cool it. The pizza's getting fucking cold again. I don't want to start up that pizza oven. And, uh, they start arguing amongst themselves. This is the perfect time for Jenny to go click. Oh, there's no bullets in novel. No. She's just staying there. Hey, look at me. I have a gun on you. Right. That's what I'm trying to make about herself. Right. Instead, Matthew, or Vilmer has decided to stop cutting himself because that's what, when he gets sexually aroused, apparently he cuts himself. He was wearing a purple bandana. And we looked this up earlier. Can you guess what the bandana code is for somebody wearing? We didn't quite get that shade of purple. So I can tell you the three shades it could have been. Do you know any of those shades? No. You don't know your bandana. You got to know your bandana. Everybody be a fan of this show and not know everybody right now. Stop the episode. Go listen to cruising. Yeah. Go listen. We'll wait and learn. We'll wait. What was it? A two hour episode? When have we ever had a two hour episode? Two hour 45 minutes. We'll wait right here. Yeah. We'll do that. Okay. So, uh, purple, of course, is piercing. Okay. Uh, magenta or what was, what was lavender? Uh, lavender. Dry queens. Dry queens. Yeah. Which makes perfect sense. Kind of makes sense here. Yeah. But then the other side of that purple was armpits. Yeah. And I don't know how that fits into this. Yeah. So it's probably here there. What is it just, do you like hairy armpits, you like sweaty armpits, what, what is the world of armpits? Is there a breakdown, like another shade, what type of armpits? No, no, no, no, I, I don't think, I don't know what to say. Wikes about the vomit and the toilet. Yeah. Don't worry. I'm about to scot haul. Don't worry. It's clear. The beautiful girl here. Why do you do that? We will talk about armpits. Okay. Well, no, it's just any armpit. Some people just like the curvature right there. Do they like the farting noise? Some, like maybe it's the sound. Murray, will we barely talk to a foot fetishist? We've never talked to an armpit person. Yeah. Do we know? Do you think there's somebody in our world in the Golden Globus in your world who's in armpit versions? No. Who do you think? Who do you think would be? I think that's such a small population. We would have to really put feelers out there. I have somebody in mind. I'm not going to, I'm not going to out them, but I have somebody in mind. Oh, right. You know who you are. You're sweating right now. You're sweating. But maybe it's not going to be safe. All right. So, uh, we get, we get the pull of the trigger. Well, he grabs the gun and puts it in his mouth. That's all right. It's how crazy he is. Pop, go with some weasel. Click. Look, but it's a double barrel shotgun. He grabs it from her hand, shoots it off, and there is a bullet, and that's how crazy he will. Oh, he's not crazy. He wants to think he is. Right. So, John just decides to run out the house. Man, is it getting in the car? Well, before that, he, he just stomps on Heather's neck while he's talking to her. Oh, yeah. And then does a Rudy Ray rub out, snapping her at the second. Robot, Ruby Ray rub out. Yes. Say that 10-10. Who couldn't even say it? You fucked it up. You said Ruby Ray. Ruby Ray. Robot, Rudy Ray rub out on the throat. Heather is down for the count. She can't even pick her hand up. Two, three. She's done. She's done. She's done. She's done. She's done. Yeah. That's the count. God, you made me laugh so hard there. I was pissed for myself. I got pretty so bad. Jan runs out of the house at this time, and she gets in the car, and of course, you know, film her. He's a gentleman. He puts his keys in the fucking visor. Oh, you talked about the special compartment. Actually, that's Darlas car. I'm sorry. It's not filmers. Not to be confused with Starla. Oh, shit. She figured it out. Mike's not going to be happy when he leaves that bathroom. All right. She starts up the car, takes off. Wow. That was great. Millie. Great job. Good job, Millie. All right. We don't remember where we were at, and we took a long-ended bathroom break. We all played swords. We brought that game back. And so, we had Jenny making one of her many escapes here. Right. Tonsen escapes. Much like last week, Heather waking up constantly. Jenny's constantly escaping. Yeah, good call. Yeah, good call. Is that the theme? Did you put someone constantly doing the same thing throughout the movies for the rest of the movies we're going to do? No. Okay. So she escapes, gets in, darlas car, I'm sorry, and takes off. The film were so confident, so cocky. He was like, does a fucking prat fall off the fucking roof, lands on her car. Oh, he went full, Jeff Hart, pulling the gun to his mouth. He stopped and danced for about a minute and a half before he actually went after her. Yeah. Oh my God. He did a win in the willows. And then his older brother came out to be like, I'm one of the one half for the greatest tag teams of all time, even though no one fucking cares about anything I did. Yeah. Yeah. People. A enigmatic person. You know who got cut out of this movie? Itchweed. He's a character. He's getting really deep in the minutiae side. So he's just, he's just hanging off it, like having a good old time. Definitely, of course, because he's a, rolls off that you think he got run over, but he pulls the fucking Indiana Jones where he's like, someone hanging underneath this car. It's probably five inches off the ground. It's somehow he's underneath it. Yeah. And as he rolls off, somehow the hood just flips up on Jenny. And so she's slowly, and we see like the camera zoomed out, she's going like eight miles an hour. Right. Slowly taps some trees. Yeah. Car can still work. We know she gets out of it. Oh no. What do I do now? Get captured. Yeah. Sure. Feet get grabbed from underneath by Velmer. Of course. I've captured it again. And this is where we, this is, I think, it doesn't every Texas chancellor, we have to see the dinner scene we got to have, that, yeah, that's basically and everything. Um, they kind of cut that out of the remakes, which is nice, but like all the, oh geez. Oh God. Have some kind of dinner scene. We do have to see Leatherface getting prepared for the dinner party. Right. But and the other faith, they live in squalor, but man, Leatherface brushes and flosses because he has some pearly white teeth there was showing as he's putting on his lipstick. I was like, can they just brown them all? I mean, he's probably false. Even then, you know, they'd be brown if it's fucking Leatherface. Look how desperate this dog is for us to be done with this episode. Well, let's finish it. So he's putting the call back to the beginning of the movie where he's putting lipstick on his kisser. Yeah. Question. Uh, Millie has brought her toys in. Marie has taken the toys from Millhouse and, uh, like the gender answer. Could you do this movie in this day and age with all the transgender issues going on with Leatherface? That's clearly what's going on here. He wants to be a woman. Yeah. That's, that's where his frustration comes from. That's why he's always crying all the fucking, you know, women and their fucking hormones. And that's, I don't think that chainsaw has an extension of his penis and the fun because he doesn't. Yes. Would you consider this even, I don't even consider it offensive. Even if that is the thing, but because it's not played for laughs, right? No. He's anguished. Yeah. Maybe that's why we're, why he's such an evil thing because his, his hormones are fluctuating. Maybe maybe he went to school and Kamala Harris forced him to have an in utero sex change in communist China. That's right. That's right. And that's why he's always calling Marxism, Marxist, Marxist. So yeah. So he's in his, he's in his natural state, his female state, the, the state that he feels the most comfortable at, right? But I do like, I mean, if we're going to give this movie credit for one thing, his family accepts him. They do. Yeah. And maybe that's a lesson for all Texans. Exactly. If fucking crazy and red hillbillies can accept that their brother was born a woman soaking you. Exactly. I'm that serious right now. Anyways. Oh, right. So he is finished printing herself up. What is leather faces? Lady name. I wonder. Lady face. Lady face. Oh my God. It's so beautiful. Yeah. I love it for her. Carlos is telling Vilmer just good to this woman. She's pretty cool and you know, we're learning about how she had a husband before and she threatened. She's like, I'll go back to my born husband. Yeah. Your dick's not that good. Like it's good. And that apparatus. My husband might have had a limp dick, but at least he didn't beat the fuck out of me. But that's what she's here for though. That's the thing. Listen, there's a difference between getting slapped around in the bedroom when you're both OK with it and getting slapped around out of anger. Well, no, this is a consent first podcast. Yes. Very well. Last week we talked about Griffin's mountain of consent forms. This is what I love about this show. I just learned something about Mike. You were trying to tell me something. Mike. Mike, who's the slapper who's a slappy and you're really oh, I get the shit beat out of me. Yeah, you would. Yeah. Yeah. That's why we're always like Mike. You seem like you're cake to make up today. He's trying to hide. Well, Mike's always like a bumping into doors all the time like, dude, well, you know, she likes it. She doesn't like her. You like to be out there. She's you know, she's classy. She's reserved. That's very true. He did immediately walk in and say, I've been falling around falling down a lot lately. So many doorknobs that happen to be face height in my house got to really change that. So yeah, so Darla is she said she runs a business so she doesn't take this shit from fucking Velmer. Right. She is now in like a strappy little hodress. Yeah. She sees the competition. Yeah. Jenny. She grabbed Jenny from the block. She has. Okay. There's not one remote control that controls Velmer's life. There's 12 and she's got all of them one in her mouth, one in her butt cheeks, one never mind. And of course, two in the hand. She is working every one of that. Two in the hand, one in the bush, you just set you up and hit it out of the park. So she is articulating this like in ways that legs don't move and she is into it. She pins them to lay up like an island counter pins them to it is up there, grinding on him like she's the one riding hit is incredible. And he throws her hair back, helps her eat a slice of that crazy bread. And he's like, let's go to that bedroom. And she pulls another full pizza out of the fucking little pizza oven that they had there. Yep. She's like, now that I got you all hot, time to cool down to have a nice Italian treat. Yeah. Eating pizza off your lover's butt is probably like peak lovemaking. Yeah. Murray. I've been there. I've never seen Murray's face over there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You'll like some pineapple. You need that citrusy acidity of pineapple to really keep your leather, cedar, figs, notes of Dutch cocoa. All right. All right. All right. All right. He actually does that. He does that line. He walks into the dining room, everything except for dinner. We have some victims. It's just literally people covered in talcum powder just looking like original dawn of the dead zombie makeup. Yes. It was. Yeah, it was. All right. So Jenny's taken an app. He slaps her awake. He has got to grab her fucking face again and slapper in the face, which they were good working slaps, I will say, were they shoot slaps? I think they were shooting slaps. You can't work a slap. No. So I give credit to these two if they were like based on based on the angle they were shooting at, because normally if it's a work, the person slapping, they're shooting from behind them. Yes. But this was like full line. It was in a way. I think those are shoot slaps. They just graduated from like acting school. So of course they're going to go full blown. Yeah. No, just do it. Just do it. Make it real. I will. I'm going to suffer from my heart. If I can, because it brings in one of our friends of the show, Matt. So see, he would talk about. Oh, classy ass, Matt. So classy. Classy ass, Matt. So see. And he was like telling me about some of this shit when I was not visiting him and he was like, you get some of these people up on stage who are just like, I want to be that actor. Go ahead and fucking hit me and he's like, no, no, degree of difficulty of five execution of 10, not the other way around. I did that once in a low budget horror movie. I was playing a zombie and a big ass burly guy was supposed to like, check me and knock me over. And I was like, you need to actually body check me because when I fake fall, it looks shitty as hell. Yeah. Like you can't prep fall. It's on grass. We're not on concrete here. Like you can, you can put your hip into it. It's fine. Then he didn't. And I still had to fall and look like shit. Yeah. I mean, you should have just said this is what my wife does to me, man. This is like, this is it. She should have heard. She's the best double for the big guy. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So he's doing his thing, grabbing the face, screaming in her face. She's no selling it. Stop. You're terrifying me. Nick, Jenny is looking new, Darla, for some help. And she's like, don't worry, Tush. He's got a bomb in my brain. I can't do anything. He broke it up full blown skate from New York. Yep. She's got the countdown fucking watching shit. Yeah. And yes, she's like, no help at all. Jenny is like anybody. Can anybody help me? Grandpa sleeping. We think he's one of the dead bodies. He's just sleeping. Just sleeping there. And then we learned that he's like, he's like, well, since we, since we, you, Velmer fucked up Heather's face, Leatherface wants your face. That's right. And we're like, Oh my God. And she's like, you're fucking pathetic. You fucking. Robo leg heaven loser. Can you go ahead, make your fucking move. Right. When that Robo leg breaks down, good luck getting on customer service with the leg X to replace it. Motherfucker, you're stuck with it. That's right. So basically she puts a mirror up to Velmer's face. He sees his reflection. He doesn't like what he sees. He's been emasculated because he's a bitch. He's a fake tough guy, right? He loses his shit. He's fucking dubby in the face with a hammer. If everybody will go ahead and give me the floor for a moment, I'm going to quote the correct poet, shell Silverstein. He'll have a scene of lean. I'm quoting Gallagher. Boom. And he's fucking hits fucking dubby in the face, kills him apparently. It was a perfect time for me to be cut off because I don't know what shells ever steep palm. Hey, my quick timing. I've been to grandpa's like, I'm going to be in my room with my Hawaiian pizza grabs it. Walks up to the room. This is great. Grandpa gets up and she's like, he's fucking kids, dude. I've had enough of this shit. I just want my goddamn pizza and he gets up and just fucking walks off. I imagine he did that in one shot and the director knew enough to go, that was gold right there. Right. Velmer can see he's losing his audience because grandpa usually loves his shit. Right. So he's like, oh shit, he's panicking. He goes out, gets some kerosene, pours in on the back of Heather. He's going full edge, Lord. He's like, I'll be the Joker motherfucker. He'll be good. Like what? Keep phoenix lights are on fire. Heather. Ouch. Oh, it burns the shit that cracks me up though is he's getting the lighter fluid and Darla is already like, Oh motherfucker. Here we go. She already grabs the fire extinguisher prepared to put her out right away. Nice detail. I didn't notice that. Not nice detail. There's no burns or anything on her back. It's just the same prosthetic. Yeah. Very minimal. We're going to get some real bad prosthetics in a moment. Yeah, we are. We're going to go outside here. We're limo. Limo drives up with a dren relief fucking horn. And guys, if you ever said I'm a little Cronenberg and my goddamn Texas chainsaw world, well, you're about to get it. Yeah, a guy, Mr. Rothman. I'm assuming he's supposed to be what's it? The Roth child, isn't that the folks to be the organization that's running the fucking world. I think it's the Roth child. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. I can't think of it. I have an allergy to conspiracy theories. First of all, this guy must work for Mr. Burns because he'd be great for the baseball team because he had no side burns. Don Maden Lee take a lesson. It was like way up there. God damn it. Perfect fucking thing because it threw me, he would have been an isotope salt star. Yes. It hit me like I was like, I don't like this guy. Yeah. We can't even get part of this. It just creeped me out like no side burns. They did a great job on all three of us enjoy our side burns. Yeah. Awesome job. Oh yeah. Mike's got down to the chin here. He's got the full. Yeah, we have varying lengths. We do. Like we and Murray are usually like we got a head of the ear, bottom of the ear. I let mine grow longer, Murray of course, hear me or ear. No. I let mine grow a little longer. Mike's got the style down. I go down to the job because my ears are uneven. So if I stop at the ears, it makes it more noticeable. Oh, interesting. People who are side burns are off like, well, I stopped him at the same fucking spot according to the ear. Well, according to my barber though, most ears are not like that. Oh, interesting. Mine are noticeable if I stop the side burns by the ears. So everybody's scared of this dude. He's walks in like he owns the place, Mr. Rothman. And he's like talking to film like he's a bitch. That's right. Because he is. He's putting him down. He's the most beautiful man in this movie. Is this guy like workshopping a future hostile situation? Because what is going on with this Rothman guy, Mike? His kink is seeing people get frightened to the point of broken. So I don't want them to have like not hostile. It's more like saw. We're like you're supposed to go through this excruciating thing and then come out of it. It's like, oh my God. What the fuck? Like, I'm a better person. I'm stronger now. I'm not going to put up the shit. I've gone through this awakening. That's what he wants. That's what he was going for. So are there like- It's what he literally says. So he literally says that in the movie. Is there like close circuit TVs where he's watching all this happening? Like what's going on? That I don't know. Is he like to watch or is he just like to, in his own mind, like make people better? And I think it's in, he's also a fuck that gets off on power. Oh yeah. I think he's just in his mind, he's making people better. He's bored with Epstein, I don't know. Well, he comes in and he berates the whole family. He's like, what is this fucking bullshit, bush league, nonsense you're fucking doing. And he apologizes to Jenny. He's like listen man, like you were supposed to go through some shit and come out better in the end. I don't know what the fuck this is. He's a bunch of fucking amateurs, bush league amateurs, like I don't know what the fuck. And he berates the whole fucking family and he starts talking shit to Darla's like, why are you with this fucking guy? And that's when she's like, you know exactly why I'm with this fucking guy, which is where I get the point. She doesn't want to be there, but she has to be there. Right. Good. I agree. I agree. I remember this part vividly. I don't think she has a fucking bomb in her head, but something is keeping her there. She might believe she though. Yeah, now we really, Rothman really starts to get in on Jen who strapped to a chair and he does, he does a nice act where he licks her face a little bit. Well, first he opens up his fucking shirt. This, I hated this. Yeah, this, this makes no fucking, it's, it's in there and I don't know how sick and twisted he is. Yeah. Like what you think what these guys do is fucked up, we'll go to my world. This is where we get in the help here, what, how, hell raiser, hell raiser. Yeah, he has like skin carvings on his stomach and that piercings. And it was the worst prosthetics. So you could see the outline of the prosthetic on his stomach. Yeah. Look, did he have like nipples on his stomach? What was they? He had piercings. Yeah, it was fucking weird. Awful. It was fucking bad. It was really bad. Well, I guess I'm going against grain. I thought it was good. Well, I guess you have it too. The eye. Oh, so you can see the idea is fine if like it wasn't a dramatic reveal because it was a dramatic reveal. Yes. For what? It just didn't look good. It looked good. And the prosthetic looked fucking bad. Well, they built nothing up in this movie to really make me go like, Oh my god. Now this and it was just like, what? What? Rothman. That's why I had such a heart. I'm so sorry. I had such a hard time understanding what was going on with Rothman. I had no idea. You want people to understand the true meaning of horror. So Rothman is the glue that made that explains it all. So you're like, Oh fuck, that's why XYZ, but I think at this point, most of the audience is tuned out and they're ready for the movie to be done, except for me, I was like, this movie is fucking wild. Because you're waiting for a load face to actually kill someone with a chainsaw, which hasn't happened. No, I loved this leather face because we get leather face and the eight other leather face movies, he's such a bitch that fucking Jenny tells him to shut his fucking mouth up and he does. He's a proper lady at this point, like when, when the shit, yeah, we didn't say that Mike said a woman. She's no one to shut the fuck off. He's a clap. He's proper ladies. We know. We know. All this old Hollywood, the fucking Betty Davis, all that shit. He's dressed in a lovely fucking evening gown. Everyone screaming at the dinner scene. He's not screaming like an annoying leather face. He screams like a fucking classy lady. But no, what he's doing is, he's doing his nails, he's painting his fingernails while all this shit's happening. At one point he's like, and that's when she like shut up and then he stops. I hated this leather face. I fucking love this other face. All right guys, we got the belly revealed, we got the face being licked. We got the exit in the house sick this guy because we're first we're thinking, oh, he's going to rescue Jenny. No. No, he gives her a nice tongue bad. He goes full cat mode, just lick in her face. He probably has a sandpaper tongue. He walks out, gives a head to head with fucking Wilmer, tells them, just like you motherfucker. Wilmer's so agitated by this, and this is another detail I like. He was a wrecker, you know, he told cars and everything. He had a wall of keys. Yep. I don't like that detail. I thought that was kind of neat. Yeah. One good thing they got right. He was a keyswapper. He's been so emasculated. He takes it out of poor Heather, who's just sleeping on the floor. We have built this. This is where he does. I'm sorry. No, no. He didn't once be formed. We heard the gears working and everything, but he didn't do anything. This is the second time where we hear her neck break. Yep. So it's his leg with the prosthetics using his remote PS4 controller. He breaks his bitches. Well, the first time he's stepping on Darla. Yes. So he's just into her. Oh, okay. That's what I thought. Okay. Yeah. He goes full hard R. opens up his fucking jumpsuit starts cutting himself with a straight razor. Yep. Torture. What do you think? That's chop tops move. You still left him. Chop towel. Yep. Darla's like, please stop. No, I don't want to dress these wounds. I don't know. She's into it. I can't tell at this point. No, she's not into that. Muddled mess at this point, Jenny's had enough. She escapes. But she's dragged back to the fucking night room. Yes. And this is where she gets a hold of one of the remote controls because there's 45 of them. And they all apparently control every articulation of his leg. She starts fucking with him. He's like, Oh my God, my leg, your feet are perfect. Quentin Tarantino. She gets a fucking weight again. She finally escapes or does she? Because she runs out and we see the sun is rising and we see a crop duster just dusting some crops. Sustin crops. Yep. My favorite dusty roads crossover character, dusting crops. When he lost that loser leaves town match, he came back and does some crops. I didn't expect that to be a joke that Murray was like, yeah, we got to get another one. I tried to say that. Sorry. It's like that. We see an old couple, a retired couple doing their RV and thing. As much retired people do join a nice bloody Mary in the morning because they're getting over and over. That's got the salary. They had that geriatric sex last night. Oh my God. The pills, the painkillers to get the hits and oh my God. And they're enjoying their time when they see a nice young woman in a fucking dynasty dress running down another dirt road like they're in the middle of field where the fuck you think? I don't know. I haven't been out in the backwoods. I'm sure there's probably. Texas is all over Michigan's probably looks like this, but I've never been there. Ted Rock country. Yeah. So they're just driving. Oh, honey, do you see those? There's a girl being chased by a man, excuse me, a woman with a chainsaw. No, the best part is she's running and the woman's like, well, don't stop. Don't stop. I don't think. I don't know if I would either. And then the other face comes busting out and she's like, that girl's being chased by a monster. Don't stop the car, just open the door and leather phase is sort of trying to cut them where they're always like, Oh, shit. This is where the Velmer shows up with his record. Yeah. First, we think they're going to get away because they passed leather face because he's cutting at the RV with the chainsaw and we're like, all right, finally, the movie's going to end. No, no. Leatherface gets picked up by Velmer in the dough truck and they're driving by leather face is cutting at the fucking RV, they knocked RV off the road, it's the tips on its side. Poor old couple probably dead. Who cares at this time? Absolutely. She climbs out the top of the goddamn RV and she has to start running. And then she's being chased by apparently he worked out the Kingston as fucking leg because it's working now. That's right. Well, he put it in sport mode. His sport mode. He got new fresh batter. He used the sport mode to her moat. But thankfully, a kindly, kind-hearted crop duster sees this, figures it out. He's like, well, I got to save that woman, hits fucking Velmer in the head with the wheel of the crop duster. Oh, sweet Jesus, are we getting into a legal battle down here? Because we always say it. What is the phrase? Stand your own. What? What? Ground. He's in the air, motherfuckers. Is this legal? Yes. We're in the air. It's all ground. You're ground. I don't know if Velmer got grounded because his head splatters and look like, I thought his like robot leg exploding. He looked like oil. He looked like blood. That was awful. Yeah. I thought oil too. And so Velmer's out for the count. The limo pulls up with Rothman's like, do you have any great poop on? By the way, hop in. So Jenny hops in. She's like, what else am I going to fucking do? I still have Leatherface chasing me. Well, she doesn't know it's Rothman. At this point. Because another limo in the middle of nowhere. He just needed help, yeah. And he's like reading on what the Wall Street Journal like, oh, what's you? Well, you know, I'm terribly sorry what happened to you. And I wanted you to transcend to El Topo, if you will. And she's like, fuck you. Ooh, that's... Ooh. I love it around, Steve. Ooh. You're very catsy. Well, could I take you to the police station or hospital, you know, anything? And that's where we cut to the hospital. Well, Leatherface is doing his flash emo dance by himself because we got to end every fucking Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Leatherface doing his dance. Yeah, I remember that. And he's got... Because he's got to move on to the next foster home because everybody's dead. Darling ain't taking care of him, so... No. She's going to go hang out with those teen boys. She's probably going to get a substitute teaching job. All right. So we're at the police station and apparently this was a guy from one of the... I think he played grandpa in the first movie. Yes. And he's like, "Oh, what did you say again, but Chainsaw?" And she's explaining the shit. This is... So, you know, we're in the hospital because we see a woman in a gurney. Yeah. Miss irritated me because pre-internet, you're supposed to know this for some reason. Right. It's the woman who played Sally in the first movie. Did you not know? Murray told me. Because it's not like she just passes by. She literally gives a deaf stare to fucking Jenny. And did you know who was pushing around the gurney? No. Was it Franklin? It was Franklin from the first movie. So he wasn't really an handicap guy. No how great acting, Frank. Stolen valor. Stolen valor? And then we just fade out and there you have it. Wow. I had no fun watching this, but I had a hell of a lot of fun talking about it with you guys. I said to Murray, we just got Vince McMahon shitting on our eye after this movie. Because I'm so sorry. This was an 82-minute movie or something runtime. Listen audience, watch it and decide for yourselves. I mean, after our brilliant breakdown, they're going to want to watch it. They're going to have fun with it after we've had some fun with it. I think that's what we do for the community is we actually, you know, third best Texas chainsaw massacre movie. But, well, that's not, I mean, it's not, I pray, because I said there's only really two of them. No, and it's Texas Chainsaw Massacre rivals Halloween for being one of the messiest fucking timelines. Yeah. Like it's, it's choose your own adventure. It just splits off so many different fucking ways. Because if we, if we didn't live in the age we do now, back then it was just like, it was success. Make another. Yeah. You know, so it was like all of the fucking mythology of these franchises we're going to do is muddled mass, you know, because the back of the 13th and nightmare aren't nearly as bad. Okay. Well, I don't agree with that, but still, they're pretty bad. I don't know. I don't know. Mike, I'm assuming, I'm assuming for the last one, you're saving that. For the appropriate times, does this mean we're going to get some next week? That all depends. It's on you guys. What? Trick or treat. No. Wait. What's our trick or our treat? Oh, we have to choose between trick or treat. Yeah. Yeah. You guys have to choose between trick or treat. Well, we've got trick this week. I think already. Should we go for it? Yes. This one was a trick. Should we go for the tree? Should we go for the tree? Let's go for it. You're going to go for the treat? Yeah. All right. We are rolling back the clock to 1985. And we are going to be watching the fifth installment of the Friday the 13th franchise. Wow. Okay. Friday the 13th, a new beginning. I will say it has one of my favorite girls on it. So I'm looking forward to that part. But wow, wow. I can't wait to hear his explanation for these movies because I, I would pick the totally. I mean, I know. I love him. I would never pick the movies you're picking. Yeah. So that's good. And we also, I mean, Murray was over here two hours before he showed up and we were like, what do we do with this movie and yeah, three hours, baby. Sorry. Sorry, everybody. Yeah. We had to cut, we'll cut some fat off of this though. Yeah. Bad. And that's about it. And so I'm looking forward to that. I'm excited for it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. This is because we've never done it because you had carte blanc for Friday the 13th. We've never done a Friday the 13th. Yeah. It's interesting that you pick. Oh, I don't want to spoil it for anybody, but yeah, there's some, there's a twist to this movie. Yeah. So look forward to Friday the 13th next week. And as always, keep it spooky.
That's right, a star studded TCM movie that some would say is the third best of the franchise. Monster Mike joins again to help us understand this strange film.