[MUSIC] >> Welcome to No Heart Left Behind's Hope in the Hard of Family Life Podcast. I'm your host and executive director of No Heart Left Behind Alicia Stickles. If we're honest, family life can be hard. Family can be our greatest blessing, but also the source of our deepest wounds. At No Heart Left Behind, we have a passion to empower families to thrive with the word of God and the love of Christ. So each week we're going to have real conversations about hard issues facing families today. It is our hope that you would be equipped with practical tools based on biblical principles for when life happens and relationships get messy. In other words, how do we flesh out all those Bible verses we know when life isn't looking like we had hoped? If you're in a season of family life that feels hopeless or you have a heart to navigate the challenges of family well, but just don't know how, you're in the right spot. So whether you are driving in your car or checking off one of your honeydewes, pop in those earbuds and come find hope in the hard of family life with us. [MUSIC] >> Hey y'all, today I have the privilege of talking with John and Julie Wundergem who serve at a local ministry called James Samaritan. James Samaritan looks to connect the community and church to create healthy support systems for kids and families in foster care. As foster parents themselves, John and Julie offer so much wisdom and encouragement for parents on their fostering and adoption journey. So much in fact that we had to break this conversation up into two parts. I'm so excited for you to hear from them, so let's get this conversation started. >> Welcome friends to another episode of No Heart Left Behind's Hope in the Heart of Family Life. My name is Alicia, I am the host of this podcast. And today, I am super excited to introduce you to our guests on the show today. They are John and Julie Wundergem. And they are all about foster care and adoption. And they actually work with a ministry called James Samaritan that looks to connect the community and the church to create healthy support systems for kids and families in the foster care system. It's an incredible outreach and ministry in our area. That has just the work has just spread across the state. So I am super excited for y'all to get to know them today and just be encouraged for those of you that also have foster care and adoption as a part of your family's journey, just learn and grow from them. So Julie and John, thank you so much for being here. >> Hey, thank you for having us here today, we're excited to be here. >> And Julie's here too, right Julie? >> Yes, we're really good to be here, thank you. >> Okay, so we will get to talk about the James Samaritan in just a little bit. But before we kind of talk about that, just want to get to know you guys a little bit. Tell us a little bit about where you're from, how many kids, cuz you have a lot of kids. You know, just your background, that kind of thing. >> All right, well, John and I met in 1999, got married in 2000. So we've been married 24 years. We have seven children all together, five of them through adoption and two that were land yet babies that surprised us at the end of all that. And he's been a teacher for how many years? >> 17 years. >> 17 years, I also taught public school for a while and have been homeschooling five of our children for the last, let's see, seven years. Wow, homeschooling, so we love that. So we're one of those weird homeschool families and we love it. >> I tried homeschooling for like a hot five minutes and it did not. I feel like I enjoyed homeschooling, but I couldn't make my life work. So the fact that you like homeschool and then run like a major ministry and the area is quite impressive to me because I was like, I said, honey, I was like, I can either homeschool or work. Which one do you want because I cannot do that? >> It is a challenge, but it is a huge challenge. But this fits perfectly for our family and the kids are able to be involved. They come here and volunteer. It's just a really good fit. God knows what he's doing, I couldn't have planned it out. >> Yeah, I love that. So John, are you from Louisiana? Where are you from? >> I have been in Louisiana my entire life, moved a few times for school and for a lady that I ended up marrying from Bible college. But other than that, yeah, I've been in Louisiana for probably 35 of my 46 years. I went to North Lake Christian School and grew up here in the comington area. >> Awesome, awesome. And you may have said this, but how long have you all been married? >> 24 years. >> 24 years, and so y'all met in Bible college. >> You did. >> Nice, awesome, that's great. So you said, you mentioned that you have five adopted children. Were those children, did that start as a fostering type thing or was adoption kind of the goal from the get go? >> Yeah, we started out just doing foster care. We were pretty young, about three years into our marriage and we thought, well, we'll just do this until we have our own kids, right? >> Wow, yeah. >> So we had a house and three bedrooms and we decided I was doing home day care at the time. And so initially, I think we just thought we would do it for a little while. And we had kids that came and went back home, that was rough. But we just would always say, we're never doing this again. And then two weeks later, we would have another child in the hole. >> Yeah. >> And that just went on for like 15 years. >> Right, so just a little while, five kids later. You have a strange definition of a little while, that's for sure. Did you get to a point where you were like, okay, we don't need to have our own biological children, like we've got our hands full. And so when the two biologicals came along and just was like, okay. >> Surprise, yeah, yeah, we had had some infertility. We did a few infertility treatments, but just always felt like I think this is what God has planned for us is adoption. We actually had an opportunity in Illinois to have in vitro paid for and just turned it down because we just felt like this is what we're supposed to do. And fair enough, our first adoption was, I don't know, five months later. So it was God's timing. So then we adopted our first daughter and then decided to take placements that were children that were already freed for adoption. So a lot of people don't realize foster care and adoption are two different things. A lot of times you end up as a foster parent, you end up adopting a child that you were fostering. But then there are also children who are waiting for families who have been in foster care for a while and parental rights have been terminated and they're just waiting for an adopted placement. So at that point we decided that that's what we wanted to do. >> That's awesome. >> For the rest of them. The rest of the other four ended up coming to us for the purpose of adoption rather than just coming into foster care. And that unknown of are they staying or are they going home? >> Yeah, currently in the state of Louisiana there's over 100 kids that are waiting for a home and waiting to be adopted that will not be returning home and have been removed permanently from their biological family. So that's something that we are very passionate about trying to solve. Is making sure that these young people, these children, have an opportunity to be a part of a family. >> So while they're waiting to be adopted, are they just residing in foster homes? Or yeah, so. >> Yeah, so they will be in a foster home. Sometimes move to multiple different placements. Some foster parents don't want to adopt, they only want to foster. And so they will keep them until they find an adoptive placement. And some of them are in group homes. So there's not a lot of those in Louisiana, but there are some, especially for older children. And a lot of the children that are on, that are free for adoption and don't have placement is because they are sibling groups. And it's very hard to place a sibling group. >> Gotcha, yeah, that's understandable. So where did your passion for fostering come from? Because I have to say, I can't say I've met a lot of people that when they first get married. They're like, we're going to start a family. And I at least have not encountered a lot of people that their first thought is not the traditional way that you would think of starting a family. But it sounds like to me that you guys were like, yeah, we're going to do this first. So where did that passion or that desire come from? >> For me, it was throughout my childhood. I saw people who fostered in our churches. We had a youth pastor, they were foster parents. When I was really young about 10 or 11, our children's pastors became foster parents. And I remember them bringing a little girl to church. And she was in like a full body cast. And the cast was actually formed into like a little seat. She was only three years old. And so they had her almost look like she was sitting in a high chair, but it was a cast. And so everybody was asking what happened to her. And they could only say so much because it was children's church. >> Right, got the idea and I just was taken back by that. And remember thinking even that young like, we have to do something about that. >> So meaning that she was in the cast because she had been abused. >> Physically abused. >> Wow. >> She had, I don't know, I can't remember how many bones they said that were broken, but her hips were broken, her femur bones. Like she, she had almost died. And but I just remember also once she was out of that cast, they had her for quite some time. And I remember seeing her running into church one day and thinking, oh my gosh, like she's a different child. Her, even her demeanor, her face, she wasn't fearful anymore. Like I just saw her morph and change into a typical little girl. >> Yeah. >> And seeing how she had come to us as a church was just amazing to me. >> Yeah. >> And I don't know if they ended up adopting her or not because you don't always know the end of the story. But I just thought it was amazing, that transformation. >> Yeah, I can, I totally identify with that. So my, I don't know if you know this or if I said that my parents were actually foster parents as well. It never led to any adoptive situation. But I can remember one of the placements that we had for what felt like the longest time to me. And maybe it was just my age, but a little girl named Beverly. And she, her and her brother were placed in our home. And I can still, I still have a very vivid memory of what she looked like. When, you know, when she first, when I first met her. And no like physical signs of, of you. But like just her, I was struck by her countenance, just her demeanor because she was too. How timid and kind of withdrawn and afraid she seemed. And you know, just all those things. And then like kind of like what you were saying is having the privilege of being able to love on this child and watch her respond to love and safety and security. And just watch her personality bloom into something that was a complete 180 from, you know, what she looked like when we, when we got her. And it just, man, it's just a very powerful thing to watch what, what love can do, you know, for a child. It's so, John, what about you? Were you always passionate about this? Or is it like guilt by association? Growing up, we always hung out with a family that was a part of our church, the folk family and agape ministries. And they had, I guess, what would be considered a group home in today's standards because they probably had, if I remember correctly, somewhere between 12 and 15 kids that lived with them in the coming scenario. And so I always being around that thought that that was very intriguing. And then think, as you know, you mentioned the people's first thought is usually to have a family, the regular kind of way where you have kids and all that. And it's not really the first thought to adopt or foster. But I think for us, it was just kind of one of those things where it was like, well, what does God want? You know, like, if this is what he wants, if this is the plan, I think we both have a very strong trust that whatever God wants is going to be OK and it's going to work out. He always makes it happen and takes care of us. So I think we were kind of just at peace with whatever went down. You know, if we had had kids biologically also, if fostering and adopting was the way to go, awesome. It wasn't anything that we really ever were too overwhelmed with or worried with because we just knew that we serve an awesome God who's going to take care of us one way or the other. So for me, I remember coming home one day, I was working at a magazine plant in Illinois and I was working a third shift job, came home, sat down to the table, poor to bowl the lucky charms, and my mother in law had left a magically delicious. That's right. Yeah, she had left a brochure on the table that she had gotten from the mall and it said become a foster parent. And so I think after I finished my cereal, I walked into the room with Julie and said, hey, we need to become foster parents. And shortly after that, you know, we had our first placement and that's just the history of it from there. I mean, it's just so spiritual and profound things can happen over a bowl of lucky charms. I mean, for sure. So that's cool. So, I mean, from there, you know, even before James Samaritan, and I remember this and I don't like it said, I don't know if you all remember, but because I had been touched my family by fostering and all of that kind of stuff. This was years and years ago. I heard of a fostering, I guess, ministry opportunity called Royal Kids Camp, right? Am I saying that right? Yes. Royal is Royal Family Kids Camp. Royal Family Kids. Yes. That's right. Royal Family Kids Camp. And I knew that it had, it was all about children in foster care and I was very young at the time. You know, I think I was, I was in the same spot. I was newlywed. We didn't have any kids. And I heard about this Royal Family Kids Camp through church and there was an information meeting. And so I went and I just learned about this awesome camp that for foster kids. So could you talk just a little bit about how that happened? Like so you were, you had foster children at the time and then that just kind of led into creating this camp. Tell us a little bit about that because it's so cool. Yeah, we had gotten to this place with foster care that we started to realize, you know, we can't just keep taking kids forever eventually our house is full, our van is full, our brain is full. Yes. And we don't want to stop serving the foster care community. So we actually, when we were up in Illinois is when we heard of Royal Family Kids Camp, there weren't any in Louisiana, but when we were doing foster care in Illinois, we got a call one day from our foster child that got in trouble at school, junior high. So we went in to talk to the principal, apparently you can't threaten to burn the school. That's not okay. That's a thing. No. That's not okay. That's one of those where you don't get the phone call. You get the meeting, he was a great kid and he was never going to hurt anybody. But we went in to talk to the principal and he said, you know, I'm starting this camp here called Royal Family Kids Camp and I like for your foster son to come to camp. And I said, well, tell me about it. And once he did, that was it. We knew we were coming down, we were getting ready to move to Louisiana and we were going to start a camp in Louisiana. So once we got down here, then we started the conversations with DCFS, Department of Children and Family Services. Of course, we were getting certified through them anyway, so they would come to do our home studies and home visits and we would tell them all about camp. And a lot of the response we got initially was, I don't know if the state's going to let you do that. Yeah. You know, these kids are in protective custody, they're wards of the state. I don't know if you can just take a bunch of foster kids out to camp overnight for a week. So we started that process of talking to ended up being our adoptions worker. So we agree who now works here with us at James Samaritan because she's retired. She agreed to come out to camp and stay the whole week as a social worker. So that's how we ended up starting our first year of camp. So what was that, like, what would they do at camp, like, about how many kids did it grow to? Like, what did that look like? What was the goal and the purpose of the camp? You know, the first camp we took 24 kids. And the idea behind Royal Family Kids Camp is two things. One is to create a family style that most kids in foster care don't really know a healthy family. What it's supposed to look like. So there's camp aunts and uncles and camp grandmas and grandpas, things like that, you know, because a lot of times in foster care, your aunt, your uncle, your grandma, your grandpa is your disciplinarian and your parent rather than, you know, your fun aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa. So giving them a view of what a healthy family is supposed to look like and treating them like royalty was one of the main things. And then for a lot of our kids that were coming to camp, they haven't been able to be a child. You're talking about 8, 9, 10 year old kids that are raising their 3, 4, 5 year old siblings. And so they've been young adults basically from the time they were a little bitty. And so give them a chance to come out and to swimming upon, to canoe, to just have fun making s'mores and singing songs and just being a kid with no stress, no expectation, no responsibility. It really had an opportunity to open up a young person's eyes to the value that they have and that God has for them. So that was really the idea behind Royal Family Kids Camp was just treating kids like kids and letting them be kids and then showing them what a healthy family is so that hopefully as they go back into whatever scenario they go back into, they have an understanding of what that's supposed to look like. Yeah, that's awesome. So when and how did, because now it's James Samaritan is the ministry that you work for and it was founded by Kim Bigler who also is incredible and I am hoping she is coming on her podcast at some point. Oh, yes, good idea. Yeah, but so Kim, if you are listening. She better be listening. That's right. She better be. But anyway, so how did, what would, how did that come about where you kind of took the, what you were doing with Royal Family Kids Camp and, you know, partnered with James Samaritan where you now kind of run things, I guess, for lack of a better way of saying it. Yeah. So Kim Bigler had approached me about a year and a half ago and had just said that she really felt like she needed to pass the scepter, pass the baton, pass the torch, pass something to somebody. But she called me just to talk to me about, you know, camp about Royal Family Kids Camp and how we had launched that and she was just getting some advice for me on, on vetting volunteers and like, what's your vetting process and how do you make sure everybody's safe people and we had a good system set in place for that. And then that evolved into, well, why don't you just come take my spot here. Yeah, Samaritan. Right. So she, a year ago had me take over as executive director and she was just going to be the founder and, you know, kind of be behind the scenes for a while. It was the next day after I started that her son Phoenix had a major accident and has been recovering miraculously ever since then. But I think, you know, God knew what was coming down the road and we didn't. So just is amazing his hand in all of it and his providence over the whole situation and that, you know, I had no plans of doing this. Kim had no plans of passing the baton, but for some reason, God just put it on her heart that I was supposed to be here and she wanted to go and be a mom for a while and that's exactly what she's been able to do. That's awesome. Yeah, I mean, I was there at that breakfast where they announced you guys as the, you know, as that you were going to be kind of stepping in and taking over and then just to hear the story. That's what I remember thinking. I was just like, wow, just God's sovereignty of knowing what was down the line and just positioning everybody. So, you know, I said at the beginning of the show was talking about what James Samaritan is, you know, that it basically exists to connect community and church to help support, you know, not only the kids in foster care, but also the families that are taking on the foster kids. So could you talk just a little bit about what that looks like for James Samaritan, like how do y'all do that? Yes. So our main focus and the center of everything is relationships and connections because what we've realized and what, you know, evidence shows is that if kids have somebody in their life that is a solid, constant, positive influence, they can build resilience. And resilience is what gets these kids through their lives on the other side, breaking cycles of abuse, you know, there's only so much we can do at some point. They have to learn those coping skills. They have to learn there's something better for them. And the way they do that is through relationship. So we do all kinds of we give things away. We have a back to school drive and give out tennis shoes and do haircuts, but everything is wrapped around connection and relationships and communicating to these kids and their families and the foster families that they have support that the community cares about them, that their love valued and that they have purpose for their lives. So even when we're just, you know, giving somebody a bike, we try to do it in person. Some of the things we can't, but most when we're doing resources, we even try to tie that to a person that can go and make contact, pray with them. So our programs all revolve around connection and relationship. So mentoring for the foster youth, they have monthly events where they all get together as a community and connect with each other and their mentors. And then we have a one on one mentoring program once they turn 18, where they can meet weekly with their mentor and we have a whole 12 month program for that. We have a homework helpers that's for the younger middle age kids for 3/8th grade, where they come in and get help with their homework. If they're, you know, behind in math or reading, they can get help with that, but also making those connections and it's sort of a hybrid tutoring and mentoring program. We have community outreach events, angel trees and all those fun things. And then we also have support groups for foster families through that community outreach program. And then of course, we have Royal Family Kids Camp and now we have, since I started James Samaritan, we've been able to add Royal Family Kids Club, which is a monthly club where the kids from camp get to come here and see all the same familiar faces from camp and do all the same fun, you know, camp things, but every month. That's awesome. So that's been great. And we've been able to really provide a lot of support for their families that way. We've gotten to know their families and what their needs are and what kind of, you know, a lot of them just want somebody to talk to and feel supported. So that's what we're here for. I hope you enjoyed the first part of my conversation with John and Julie. Next week, we will continue the discussion and talk about the importance of foster and adoptive families building a support system to help with the unique challenges facing foster and adoptive children. They also share how their experience with fostering an adoption has grown their faith and deepen their understanding of God's love for his children. Hope you tune in next week. Thank you so much for joining us on No Heart Left Behind's Hope in the Heart of Family Life podcast. We hope you felt seen, encouraged, and just a little more equipped to love your family well. If you want to learn more about No Heart Left Behind, be sure to check out our website www.noheartleftbehind.com or visit the link in the show notes. If you love the podcast, we would love it if you would follow us on your favorite podcast player. And if you love this episode, please share it with a friend. Your encouragement is not just for our egos. It really helps others find the show and encourages them to check it out. Mother Teresa said, "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." So, until we see you again next week, go home and be a world changer. [MUSIC]
