The Manic Candice Podcast
Dealbreakers
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Manate Candice Podcast. It's a girl Candice back at it again with the brand new episode of the podcast. And today, this morning, this evening, this good afternoon, this good night, we're going to discuss my deal breakers in relationships. Now what deal breakers are is just the end all be all. If it comes up, the relationship is over, no if ands or buts. So before we dive into that, let me just say thank you for listening, thank you for all the downloads this month. It's been a really good month thus far, kind of pivoting and seeing which areas we can grow in, lots of opportunity for growth. Let me turn this down. It's more like it. How has everybody been? I've been the past nine days I've been fighting. Can we vent really quick? The past nine days I've been fighting something. I don't know what it is. All of a sudden, my thoughts are just negative about myself, about the podcast, about my art, about my creative abilities. And then today I thought to myself, you are so silly. That's not you. That's not you at all to think so lowly of yourself. So I checked in with myself mentally and I'll like, hey, you may not be doing good this past couple of days, this past week, but do something today to reverse this trajectory. So I'm recording a podcast. It's been nine days since my last episode as you do it once per week. So I'm a little late, I apologize. So let's get right into the doughbreakers. The first one for me is a baby mama. I don't want to date a guy with the baby mama. And if you're a guy, I'm sure you don't want to date a woman with a baby dad. It's just too much drama, especially if you don't have kids coming from someone who doesn't have kids y'all. I can't relate to baby mama issues, baby daddy issues. I can't respect it. My dad has 15 baby mamas. I just can't respect it. I think the term baby mama is awful. Because it's not glamorous being a baby mama. Often times baby mamas are single. Often times baby mamas can't let go of their baby daddies. And if I'm with your baby daddy and you can't, I'll speak in a baby dad. Fuck my baby dad. Bow, bow, bow, bow. That's a booty me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, look at them booty chicks. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. That's a booty me. Hold up. All that that's on a Dennis bitch badge. Wish my hips when I walk. Yeah, nobody like that. I'm ready to fuck up. Fuck my baby dad. I'm in the house set. She's so crazy. I love her. But yeah, a baby dad and a baby mom, they're like obsessed with each other. It's like a thing that I've, I've observed online, like with Christian and blue face, like she's a baby mom and like blue face is other baby mom, Alexis. They're crazy about him and they tolerate stupid shit. Baby mama's tolerate stupid shit. So I will not be in a relationship with someone who has kids. If I have kids and I'm a single mom, God forbid. And I started dating with the kid. Like I have to date other people who have kids because I'm not leveling up with someone who doesn't have kids. If I have kids, that's just wrong. In my eyes at least it works out for some people, but this is about my dope breakers. So the next one is STB's. Now it's a one thing. If the STB is like curable, it's another thing when it's not. And I'd have to be. You see, I can't be so in love that I'm willing to get terminally ill. Yes, I'm talking about AIDS. It's if I were to date someone and then they realistically came to me like one day like, Hey, I have AIDS. Or I have another STD that's incurable that I could pass to you if we stay together and have a sexual relationship. And that is, let me tell you about this story, my first boyfriend. You guys know that one vaccine back in the day called Gardasil and they gave it to young girls to prevent HPV, which causes ovarian cancer. HPV is like genital warts and there's a hundred types of HPV. I think there's more than a hundred types of HPV. Anyway, my first boyfriend, before we had sex, we dated for about six months. And before we had sex, he told me that he had HPV and I broke up with him. My first boyfriend. I was so hurt. I was so devastated. He sat me down at the park and he's like, the first person I ever had sex with gave me HPV. And I was just like, Oh my God. And he was explaining to me how he burns off his general wards whenever they come up. And then I just remember the Gardasil vaccine and how my mom made me get that vaccine when I was nine years old. And I was just so thankful that she gave me that vaccine because it's like, there's a hundred types of HPV. And they, a few types cause ovarian cancer. And the vaccine that I got prevents the most common types of HPV, HPV and the types that cause ovarian cancer. So STDs are no longer our deal breaker for me, especially when we're in the relationship and I catch something from you. And I've only been with you. I'm ending the relationship. Cause that's how I find out that how I know you cheated on me. The next deal breaker is age. How far apart are we in age? I've talked to younger guys. I've talked to older guys. Like I have more experience talking to older guys. I'm talking like six to 12 years older than me. And I'm just done with it. There's the complex, a superiority complex that is in stone because they are older or because I am older. And it's, it just won't go away. And like, when I date a younger guy, I just see certain things that I've been through that they're going through. And like, you couldn't pay me to be their age again. And it's just like, I can be a friend and help, but like, I can be a lover and also take advantage of some areas because I'm wiser and older. And I just don't want to be put in that position. And I don't want to be that person that they end up presenting once they're older and they realize what kind of mentality I had when I was my age dating them. Does that make sense? I hope it does. The next deal breaker is financial status. If you and I are not on the same level financially, AKA, you're lower than I am financially or not as equal, I can't date you. I can't date you. And furthermore, I can't play house with you. You know how people they're not married, but they are boyfriend and girlfriend, they live together. No tino shade, but that's called playing house where I'm from. And I don't play house. Not no more. I played house once and I learned from my mistakes. But I learned from my momma too. I don't play house. The next deal breaker is religion. Now I've considered going Muslim for some good dig. I would say that for some Palestinian dig. Yes, I said that right Palestinian dig. I thought to myself like, could I be a Muslim for this guy? And it's so bad that I'm saying is because Ramadan started like yesterday. Happy Ramadan to those of you listening who are Muslim. But I thought about converting from Christianity to Islam for a guy. And then I thought to myself like, No, I love Jesus. And then I thought to myself how silly for some day. So if someone wants me to change religions just to be with them, it's I'm going to edit there. And even within Christianity, I'm a non denominational Christian. And if like a Mormon wanted to date me or I wanted to date someone I found out there were a Mormon, I don't believe in Joseph Smith. So I have to end it. Like there are certain things that I can't mix myself with in a person as far as like their day to day lives and their habits and the way they think and the way they talk and communicate. The next deal breaker for me is race. I will not date anyone who's my race. It's just weird to me, especially someone who's Navajo. It's like I'm dating my brother or sister. And like someone who's like, like I used to have issues dating black guys until I tried it. And I regret it. We'll talk like the first black guy that I the first and only black guy that I've been with did me so dirty and lived up to all the stereotypes of a dusty and a fuck boy and a narcissist. So now I think all black guys are like that. I know that's not true, but like plus like I have daddy issues. My dad was the black one. And so I just won't date anyone in my race. It's a deal breaker. It just feels weird to me. Next, this may seem hypocritical, hypocritical coming from me, but a high body count. It's a deal breaker or promiscuity, a deal breaker. If you're a ho, I can't be with you. Because you're a ho. I have had I am now will talk about this in a future episode this month, but like I want to talk about my hope phase. I had a ho phase and it ended like a year ago. But it was for two years and it was like crazy intense. I'll talk about it when I'm ready. But yeah, a high body count like to me, if you have a high body count, you're someone that's more than likely attractive. So that means I got to worry about you. I got to worry about other people insisting on being with you, even though I'm not in view or if I'm not in the room, other people may know that we're together, but still want to try to fuck you anyway. Because you're promiscuous. You got a high body count. You're more than likely attractive. If I'm dating you, you are attractive. I'm a Leo. For those of you who don't know or couldn't figure it out, I am a Leo. So nothing but the best for me. The next deal breaker I have is social media. Now, it's how you use social media. It's like, do you use it to uphold your business to promote your business? Do you have a business to promote? Are you on there just to be popular? Because there's like, I think there's like three different kinds of social media users. You got the social media user who wants to be a popular influencer. You got the average user who just is there to scroll and conversate with their friends and their small social groups only. And then you have people who have businesses. If you were trying to be like an influencer, I can't date you. There's something about it that like, it's like, I can't date someone that's like too much like me. You know what I mean? If we're too alike, I won't like it. So yeah, like if you're too obsessed with being popular on social media as a deal breaker, because it's like everything, it's like, I will say that coming from a place where I used to be that person that wanted to be popular on social media. And now that I'm older, and I realize like, there's such a waste of time. Social media is such a waste of time. It's an attention hijacker. And it causes low self-esteem. Because you're always looking at someone else's, you're always pocket watching. You can't help it. Someone's recording in a nice kitchen like, ooh, I wish I had a kitchen like that. You don't know if they're renting. You don't know if their names on the lease are on the mortgage. You don't know anything. So it's like social media to me. If you're trying to use it to be popular, I can't be with you. You just give off the ik, the ik vibes. A next deal breaker. If you're ugly, I can't, I can't even reply. Like, I need to be with someone, drop dead, gorgeous, man or woman. I'm bisexual for the right one. The next deal breaker is sex. If the sex is bad, like, continuously bad, or there's no chemistry, like sexual chemistry, then life's too short. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. And like, this is, these are my deal breakers, but I think they should be universal. I think they should be your deal breakers too. Lack of self awareness. What do I mean by that? It's like, you don't know how to read the room. You don't know when to be quiet. You don't know when someone is being rude to you in your face. You don't know if you're coming across rude to someone in their face. It's just lack of self awareness. It's like, I'm being unable to be aware of how they come off to the world. Someone who can't view themselves in a third person's perspective. I can't be with them because that's just a lack of self awareness is a lack of maturity. That's, it's their correlation. Next is political views. I'm someone in the middle that is right leaning my politically. So I'd have to, not have to, but like, if I can't date a liberal who's far left, just, or I can't date someone who's far right, because I'm in the middle right leaning. I consider myself the independent. Like I'm always open to new ideas as events come up, still taking history into account. It's just, I can't be with someone who, like I, I, I can't own a gun legally, but I love that for other people. And I feel safer knowing that there's more guns out there. That's just how I feel. But like, I can't be with someone who feels like, or someone can't be with me if they feel like guns are the problem. There's a difference of opinions. And if I pissed you off, good. Fuse on marriage is my next deal breaker. If we have different views on marriage, like, like, I'm still figuring out what I feel about marriage, because even though I'm a realist, I can also see that as a bit of pessimism, especially my views on marriage. It's very pessimistic. I've seen divorce. I've seen the aftermath of the divorce. And just, it's, it's horrible what it does to people's character, and what people do to each other, of who they once devoted their lives to. So we have to be on the same page when it comes to marriage. I don't believe marriage is all about love. So whoever is going to be with me, we have to see eye to eye on marriage. And we have to decide together if that's something that's right for the both of us. The next deal breaker I have is drugs slash addiction. Look, I'm already an addict. Two addicts don't make a right. I need to be with someone who's a square, someone who doesn't use drugs, someone who thinks drugs are stupid, to keep me in check, to keep me in line, to, to be an advocate in my life and sobriety. So can't be with someone who is on fentanyl, or it is all about their whole personality as we can do that. The next deal breaker I have is long distance. I tried to do a long distance from someone who lives an hour away from me and I can't do it. I need to see you. I need to spend time with you. Like phone calls get boring after a while, especially if they're scheduled, like, like my last relationship, relationship, whatever, why do we do this to ourselves for situations? Um, he would call me every night at nine o'clock on his way home. And it just got really routine. And it's like, I'm bored, I'm bored of our relationship because I don't see you because you live an hour away. And he wasn't willing to come see me and I wasn't willing to come see go see him. I should have seen that as a red flag, but like long distance could be a deal breaker for you and for me. The next one is pretty obvious, but cheating. Um, if I find out you're a cheater or you have cheated, I will give you the benefit of the doubt in a new relationship with me. But if you cheat on me, it's a deal breaker. And I'll find out. I'll find out trust I will find out. The next deal breaker for me is pornography. Look, I watch porn, but I would consider it rude if I'm with my partner. And I just whip out some porn whenever I wanted to, as often as I wanted to, no matter how healthy our sexual life relationship is, if I just whipped out porn all the time, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like if a girl whips out a dildo in the middle of sex, it kind of makes the guy feel little and, um, untalented, if you know what I mean? Um, I just think it's rude to have someone that you can have consensual amazing sex with because it's your significant other, but you want to watch porn all day. And I'm like, it's okay if it's like once or twice a week, I'm talking like three times a day, three to five times a day, you're watching porn and you're winking it and you're having sex with your partner. I don't know about y'all, but I've had sex with guys that were addicted to porn and they don't come and it's tiring and it's annoying. And all they want to do is edge. For those of you who don't know what edging is, it's like you take yourself up to the point of climax and then you calm yourself down so you don't really climax. You're just extending the period of duration of what you're fucking. And it's like, after a while, after five minutes of doing this, it gets obvious that you're edging and it's like really annoying. Just FYI. The next deal breaker I have is criminal history. Um, listen, I am not innocent. I have speeding tickets. I have a DUI. I've been in jail. But if you have some murder charges on your past or attempted murder or robbery or manslaughter, any type of violence, domestic violence, any type of break-ins, theft, I will not date you and best believe I'm gonna look you up. If I like you, I'm doing my research on you. So I will know. Like, I will say this, um, one of the guys that I talked about on this podcast a lot, he shall not be named, but I looked up his name one day and he has a shoplifting charge and he never told me about it because I bet that's embarrassing. He got caught stealing at Walmart. I have access to systems, very, very, very, very, very secure systems, um, that bring up your data with just your first and last name so I can look up anything. Don't want to scare you, but yeah. The next deal breaker I have is just a lack of intimacy. Look, I need to be held and, like, kissed on the forehead and just, like, cuddled without someone expecting anything in return. Um, if you can't give that to me, then bye. The next one is abuse. Zero tolerance for abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, financial abuse, any type of abuse should be intolerable to you. And for me, like zero tolerance policy for abuse, any type of abuse. Um, hold on. I like this song. There's a waterfall, but one in the river wanted to get off the wall. Swimming through the void, we hear the noise, we lose ourselves, but we find it all. I cracked thereof. It's the system of a down. Ariel's, Ariel's by system of a down. I hope my audience listens to rock music. I hope, I hope you guys like the music that I play, um, in the background. I do it for, I do it for me mostly because I like to sing, but, like, I do it for y'all because I know that me singing to some of y'all is entertaining and I am here for it, I'm glad to be here for it and I love it. Um, the next deal breaker I have is just someone who's very clingy, um, if you're texting me every minute, if you're, if you panic, if I don't text you back, if we don't hang out for a weekend, you think that I'm cheating or something, like, if you're clingy and insecure, it's a deal breaker for me, I can't do it, I have no patience for it, I'm too old for it, that's something that you deal with in your character when you're younger, it's something that if you are clingy, um, once you become self-aware in your mid 20s, mid to late 20s, you can begin to fix that, but like, I'm not dealing with anyone's clinginess, it's annoying and it's unhealthy, um, which leads into my next deal breaker which is kind of goes hand in hand with clinginess is someone who's controlling, I will not be with someone who has a controlling attitude, um, you know how Kanye West controlled everything that can Kardashian war, yeah, no, no, he's got problems, if he has control issues, um, an inability to compromise is another deal breaker of mine, if we can't work together, we're not going to work out, I'm willing to sacrifice certain things, certain habits of mine, certain, like, preferences of mine to make my partner happy, as long as he or she is willing to do the same, why am I saying she, I can never be with a woman, not romantically, not long, not long term, I don't know why I say that, but like, I just don't see it happening for me with a woman, I see it with a man, but I still admire women, I still attract it to them, I just don't act on it, that was weird. So yeah, inability to compromise, um, that reeks of lack of respect, and that's my next deal breaker is a lack of respect, this last guy that I talked to, I had a red flag when he called me a bitch, like, he was quote unquote just kidding, but he called me a bitch in a certain context that wasn't blatantly rude, but was rude, I didn't correct him, I should have, but the way he came at me, I can tell that, like, he saw nothing wrong with it, and therefore just showed me that he didn't respect me in the first place, if you're going to call me a bitch, like he called me a bitch, like a female dog, like how rappers call women bitches, that's how he called me a bitch, and I'm just like, this nigga did not just call me a bitch, so yeah, he called me a bitch, and like, red flag, lack of respect, like deal breaker, and like ever since he called me a bitch in the back of my mind, like he he may have been like number one, but now he's like, not even on the charts, because lack of respect is a deal breaker, and it's, when someone doesn't respect you, like, like, if they can't respect you on the basic level, they can't respect your name, then how are they going to respect a relationship, you feel me, if someone is not over their ex, like, constantly talks about them, or even brings them up on the first date, the first or second date, brings them up in general, I will, it's a deal breaker, why are you feeling they need to bring up your ex when you're in the presence of me, then the last one is lack of trust or dishonesty, if I can't trust you, if there's women have intuition that God gave them, it's knowing something but you don't know how you know it, but you know it, and you get your evidence usually after something happens, whatever that something is was connected to your intuition, so if I can't trust you, that means my intuition is on fire about you, because you're being dishonest, and I'm going to find out, oh, oh, oh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, this has been Candice with the Manic Candice Podcast, thank you for listening to my deal breakers, I miss you guys, and I bid you a deal until next time, bye bye, pop town, just love pound town, when my nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he just took a bitch down, then nigga, he