Archive.fm

VeeDads

Daily Dads #125: Readers are Born Out of Reading Environments - Create it for Your Kids

Daily Dads #125:

The VeeDads explore various themes related to parenting, personal growth, and the importance of creating a nurturing environment for children. They discuss the challenges of parenting, the significance of gratitude, and the role of reading in a child's development. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of friendships among dads and the importance of community support. Ultimately, they emphasize the need to construct an environment that fosters learning and connection for children.


Takeaways from today:

  • Let go of fear to embrace creativity.
  • Family dynamics can be complex and challenging.
  • Gratitude plays a vital role in personal growth.
  • Reading should be encouraged in a fun way.
  • Dads often share similar parenting challenges.
  • Conversations among dads can provide valuable support.
  • Creating a nurturing environment is essential for kids.
  • Behavior is influenced by both personal and environmental factors.
  • Surrounding children with books fosters a love for reading.
  • Community connections enhance parenting experiences.


Keywords: fear, music, family, parenting, gratitude, reading, learning, dads, environment, community, Ryan Holiday, Vaynerchuck, GaryVee, VeeFriends, VeeDads, DailyDads, Daily Dads


Other Resources:

Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday: https://dailydad.com/

Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: https://dailystoic.com/

VeeFriends: https://veefriends.com/


__________________________________


VeeDads is Daily Dads = health, mindset, connection to build confidence in all Dads and parents

Join VeeDads, Blaze Hirsch, Dom Rouzaud, and Ryan Turner, every morning at 8:30 est on Twitch. We cover a daily meditation from Ryan Holiday’s, “The Daily Dad”. Our community joins live in the chat and shares their insights as well. Feel free to join us. Catch replays of the live discussion on the VeeDads podcast through Spotify or Apple Podcasts. 


Visit http://veedadsofficial.com for merch and other insights around all things Dad life. 


For business questions and collaboration please email:

Ryan Turner

ryanturner@foodisfuelnyc.com

Broadcast on:
09 Oct 2024
Audio Format:
other
What are you doing? Who's there? Who's there? I just can't get some time. (upbeat music) Do they love pumping this music? I'm gonna be sad 'cause I'm really my goal. My goal is to pump this music until the cartoon starts on Monday. I didn't hear any music. You hear that? You're not hearing that. Can I get a comment? Anybody watching who we got? We got four people over on X right now. But over on X. If you can hear this music from me now, this is your friend's new sound right now, pump it until Monday. No, hear this? No, sir. Oh, it's amazing. I came in and I was like checking my headphones and everything 'cause it was so quiet. Usually you're popping the music. Interested more to my sound. That's okay. That's okay. You know what? Life could be worse. It is a first world issue that they don't have to deal with. Yeah. You hear that? You're gonna have one person. So we got, today is an exciting day, Dom. You know why? Blaze's crazy garage show? It's because all of our friends down south, Dom, that were in the hurricane, had less hurricane say, "No, I'm kidding. "Hold me, that's the good butt." Yes, it is Blaze's garage sale. And that's why Blaze is the mirror now. And so that is all good bouncing around over here. Dom, how did you sleep? That's my question. Always want to know. We always say good, but you know what? Got to check on you. Yep. Just looked really good. Yeah, my wife had to, sorry about that. My wife had a work event, so she was working late. And she's usually the one who puts my son down to sleep. Yeah. And he was not feeling it with old daddy. So my daughter Brooklyn, she went and laid down with him and put him in bed. And I checked in on them and they were both doing good and fine and said goodnight to them. And I passed out. So I think everyone's doing good. Well, good man. I'm glad. I'm glad that you, I know that your son really waits for you to go at home now. I'm surprised that he wasn't about the dad game. Yeah, it's funny, my wife and I talk about it all the time. It's like, when I'm not there, he wakes up in the morning. He asked the first thing. He asked for his me. But when I'm there, he's still quite the mama's boy. So. Yeah, here. What's up, Jay? He had a little wind going on. So I muted you. Good morning. I'm trying to find some outdoor light here that I can use. It's all right. We get to span different time zones. Not really, because these-- No, I'm in the real time zone now. Dom's time zone. Oh, yeah. You know what? And this is perfect, then. Then this is exactly how it would go. Try turning your phone on full brightness. Yeah. Oh, man. Jason, how was Arizona? Arizona is wonderful. This place is magical. It is so magical. And I'm not going to tell the entire story, but we went to a UFO tour here in Sedona. It was everything you would imagine it to be. God, here comes conspiracy theory. No, I mean, I think we definitely saw things. And I don't deny that there's probably UFOs. But the manner in which the information was delivered was exactly what you might expect it to be out here in the middle of the desert. I don't know how to describe it, but it was-- You enjoy it. I don't know if that's the-- It's a really good story. I'm like ordering on the edge of like orgasmic there for a second, I got nervous. No, it was-- God, I don't even know how to describe it. It was-- I'll put it this way. It's like when somebody believes in something so hard, you just let them talk. Ryan, you would have loved being with this person that gave us the tour, because I know that you would keep questioning them on everything they said. And I would have loved it. But in the morning, did a really awesome mountain bike ride out here. That was-- I'm grateful for that. I think that's my grout of view for today, because we're doing it again. Still going great. I definitely love that. We got MP over at the soccer fields right now. Not in the couch. He is opposite to the couch, and it's not your field space. Wait, you are in Arizona. I'm in Arizona, yes. Oh, God, I thought you said you were back in your time zone. I thought that's what you said. No, I'm in a job time zone. Oh, OK. I think, right there. Yeah, we're all there. That's good stuff. Yeah, let's go grab to-- because I have a question for Jason. And then I have a question for Dom. And I think that I really-- I was thinking about this earlier. And I was like, wait a second. I have to ask Dom to help me with this. And it helped a bunch of clarity for me. And I really appreciated it, which, I guess, could be my gratitude right now. And I feel like I do love asking questions, which is strange. Because sometimes I hate when my wife asks questions. So I think it's just her questions I don't like. And if she was here, I think she gave me a guess. No, let me call it clarify, Ryan. I would enjoy you. I would enjoy listening to you ask this person in questions, because I know that you would just get more and more furious at her non-answers. And you would keep pressing. And I would videotape the entire thing. That would be fun. Well, I don't want to be a dick, though. It wouldn't be my-- No, I think this would push you into that area that you wouldn't want to be. I can see it. And I would not stop it if it were to happen. If anyone does hang out with me, I've actually asked people to do this for you before. I've actually asked Blaze when I was hanging out with him one time when we were with certain people. I said, Blaze, I'm very familiar with where my anger scale is. And this is also good for today's meditation, because it talks about environment and all that kind of stuff, too, and how we're showing our kids, whatever. But on my anger scale, I definitely know where I'm at, like, non-angry to angry, and what my actions are. Obviously, therapy was necessary to jump in on this. But halfway up my anger scale, I know it was an extreme sarcasm. So I know that when I'm with a group of people, and I'm being really deep sarcastic with someone, I have to leave. Because that means that I'm getting angry, and then it becomes like I'll start verbally attacking someone. So Brian, you would be at a 9-11. Right. [LAUGHTER] Well, I'm a self-aware hair as much as I can be. And thank you for knowing me so well. I appreciate that. Yeah, my gratitude is definitely that you would be able to know me well enough for that interaction. Oh, that would definitely be fun. Doug, share some gratitude with us. Oh, I kind of did. I guess I didn't specify it, but, like, my daughter, Brooklyn. Oh, sorry. He did say it. Taking care of my son last night, so I could go to bed on time, or on my time, and be able to wake up and do this walker I just went on. It's me. Yeah. Well, we have a bunch of rain here. It's like, I was like, nope, rain's not going to stop me. I got, like, a mile in. And I was like, rain's stopping me. So I turned around, and then I went into the gym, and then I just hopped on the-- I hopped on the treadmill, which I haven't done in a long time, actually, which was actually kind of nice, because I was able to do some content creation, which is all good. What was I going to ask? Oh, Jason's back. Was it-- oh, it was an image. What was my question for Jason? My question for Jason-- I'm forgetting what it was. Oh, no, no, I remember. Wait, no, I like the dumb thing first down. Before we get into the meditation, I was walking, and I felt disconnected for a second from all the bits of the meditation that you're doing, because I was like, because they're supposed to be grounded in stillness. And I was like, I don't really know which pelvic thought is connected to what we're doing right now. And it made me feel a little bit-- not like a fraud, but it made me feel like, oh, wait, OK. I feel like I need to get grounded again. And I thought asking you to help us around us a little bit more back in the next kind of mindset. And we're talking all about getting our kids to read and affecting their environment. Where are we right now in the stoic world? So I mean, Ryan's just very big on reading. So I don't know that it's necessarily about the stoic. I mean, the stoics, we're all about knowledge and information. I mean, one of the core tenets of stoicism is wisdom. So that's where I would link it all to. But I mean, for Ryan, he's big on reading, and he's big on teaching kids reading. Like a love of reading and a love of learning, as opposed to just like the kind of reading that maybe we all grew up with, where it was just like-- the whole class is reading this book. And we don't care what you think about it. You just have to read it. And then no one really wants to read in their spare time. So, yeah. Can I read this for myself right now? And I think it will benefit someone else that I do. I just-- I pulled this up before-- I always knew there were four rules of stoicism, right? And I just pulled this up and actually daily stoic pop-up, which I think is appropriate for this. But I'm just going to read verbatim. If we were to describe just stoicism in one sense, it would be like this. A stoic believes that they don't control the world around them, only how they respond, and that they must always respond with courage, temperance, wisdom, and justice. So, OK, I love that. And actually, it is reminding me that a lot of what the daily stoic and stuff like this is, it's not really him teaching us stoicism, because he says that it's meditations, but also modern psychology and always [INAUDIBLE] Yeah, OK, that helps me. I need to be like, where are we in this world? Like, getting our kids to read. What does this mean? It was helpful for me to have that thought, and they thought it would be right away, so. Yeah, I mean, I think wisdom is going to be the all-encompassing thing, like we're here learning, we're reading a book, we're talking to each other, we're going back and forth, each giving our own perspectives from our different lives and our different families. So wisdom is going to cover all of that. Yeah, there's a little bit of me that wants to find within those four rules of stoicism, kind of something about community and connection and all those kind of things, because I think it's a big part of the list, maybe that's not with end stoicism. But maybe it's what the community gives us that is stoicism. I don't know, whatever it is. We need what's the name, boggles, boggles in here sometimes? Give us a little rundown, that's really good. But thanks for that. Before we go back, I do want to talk about the meditation, but Jason, you were with a bunch of dads in Arizona. You are still with a bunch of dads in Arizona. I texted you, so thanks for not getting back to me. But I wanted to know about what it-- has there been a theme, a conversation with dads about anything in particular, with either home life, lives, divorces, kids, jobs, what is the world of dads right now that you guys are really talking about? I would say the last thing that we're talking about is jobs, which is nice. It bit meanders between, I would say, kids come up the most. Like two of the dads, like me and one of my good friends that live in Colorado, who's also out here, like it seems like each parent has some kid who has some kind of challenge, like my middle daughter, Junie, has dyslexia somewhere on the spectrum. That seems to be something like a commonality. There's two dads that are going through or have just gone through a divorce. It's kind of all over the place. And they'll all over the place in a good way. Like it's kind of like everybody can contribute and comment on what's going on. Like, for example, I'll be transparent. Me and Kristen had a very challenging beginning of the year. And I was able to kind of talk with my friends who went through divorce. And I just kind of just didn't like what led up to it. And the thing is it's like what they went through wasn't what I'm going through. It's all totally different situations. So it's been interesting to kind of talk through what I've been thinking, but also to hear their side of the story of like what they go through on their side. Like they're like how are they working through it? And like both of them have come through it phenomenally in a better, not just spiritual, but like physical. Like they look stellar. Their jawlines are maxed out, sigma, sigma style. They're like they're more healthy now than I've ever seen them in their entire life, which is great. So I would say kids, relationships, we haven't really talked a whole lot about like the things that we do individually. Seems like everything's kind of connected to our situations at home. And then a lot of like good reminiscing about things we've done, like the number of us played soccer together our entire youth. So we got to kind of reflect on our mentors, our soccer coach, and like the memories that we have that weren't really soccer, but like this one time that like our coach in fourth grade this really awesome thing that really stuck with us. Does that answer your question? Thanks, though. Yeah, I would say it's nothing that I guess surprises me, nothing it needs to. I was just curious if it was something where there is that discussion happening, if there is anything new, different kind of mindsets around it, it sounds like the biggest takeaway that I didn't see coming was that you get divorced and you get your jawline back. So they literally got their jawline back. I joke about maxed out jawline, but like they literally like changed their health habits. Like they're handsome dudes. Nice. I like that. I will retire the humor behind any of that right now. And I'll say, oh, I like that. That's a good idea. All right, well, let's-- so were you able to read to do some? Yeah. Nice. I like this. Dom, leave this off, man. I think this is like exactly like, this is your world. And I'm always-- I always love your take because this environment thing, it's September 28th and it's titled, "They Must Be Surrounded By This." And I like where-- what with this? It got me thinking, you know what? It's so simple. I like this idea here where-- I don't know what this was. Did you guys know what the Lewin's equation was? No. Is this like sociology? I don't know what it is. It doesn't make sense to me, but B equals-- I don't know what that is, F. I don't even know why I tried to start reading this. I knew that I wasn't going to know what to say when I got to these-- this is a function. I don't even know what this is. But anyway, there's an equation that's shared with us. The visual is here. Yeah, I'll show if anyone's watching. I mean, I sort of-- where's the camera? It's nice that you're shaking it around for us. Thank you. Try to find a camera. See it? That's the equation. There it is. I started to post the podcast's videos, so people should be able to see videos easier even now. But anyway, this Lewin's equation, its behavior is a function of a person in their environment. That's so simple, if you believe it. Is it true? Sounds true. I didn't read today. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's untrue. I think it's just a different way of presenting-- or maybe a scientific way of presenting something that happens naturally. I mean, you could say that somebody's environment is a function of their behavior and their habits, too. Yeah. Right? That's me playing devil's advocate. But it all wraps you on a nice circle, I'd say. Well, I love devil's advocate. We could always play this game and keep going in circles. You know what it is? It breaks it down so simple. I feel like I can't talk with my hands, but I'm in such a small box and I don't like that. But I feel as if it definitely sets us up to simplify a lot of how we can think about this and make sure that we focus on one thing over another. But I think that maybe it oversimplifies it as well. And it becomes an issue because you're talking about habit and there's definitely some genetic components to this. This is definitely like a nature nurture kind of thing. I guess the person, maybe the P equals a person. And that's more of the genetic biological side of things. But I definitely liked how it's just like, oh, yeah. OK, it can be that simple. I think of anything. But Ryan Holiday even asked, what does this mean for us as parents? And then he says, like, we are largely the architects of our kids' environment. But are we the architects? Or are we the-- are we Tom, why am I forgetting? What's the-- Tom, what's the law-- thank you. Or are we a contractor, right? Because the architect is basically the part of it. But like, who is the architect? Now we can get religious if needed to. But I think like we all are contractors. We're all basically Dom, right? We are kind of putting together a life for our kids in some sort of way. We're building that environment of different things around them. It is. Like, you know what? Parents are contractors. That's what we are. And some of us are better than others. Now, Dom, if you guys didn't know, Dom is the best contractor in Southern California. If you guys are looking to get your house built either new construction or any renovation whatsoever, please pit up Tom. Dom, we're going to get you some business out of this at some point. I just want to let you know that. In a very small niche area in Southern California. But, you know, the last thing I'll kind of read here verbatim is that right now that it goes on, if you want them to be readers, you have to design the environment of a reader as an architect does. But we know that's incorrect, Ryan Holiday. It's actually contractor, as a contractor does, right? We have to surround it with books, good ones. Oh, this is what I like the best. Like, OK, you want them to read or put books there. But I like what Ryan Holiday said here. He was basically saying surround them with books, but like, good ones, silly ones, short ones, long ones. Used ones, new ones, right? He goes on and on and on like up for shoes. But it was definitely a really good, a good reminder that it can be so simple. For the moments that were overwhelmed, it can be that simple, right? Behavior is a function of a person in their environment. Whew, good stuff, Ryan Holiday. Get that printed out and put it on your wall. I need something here. Hold on, guys, can you-- oh, you're a contractor. Don't think about it. One, I got to fold this pile of clothes. That's my job today. But I need something here. This is a lot lower than you think. This is like only three feet off the wall. I need something here. I already looked for like a neon sign kind of thing. Didn't work out, so I got to find something else. So think about something. That's my environment. I got to make sure my environment's feeling good. Yeah, I like this one. I liked how straightforward it was. I would even say that, yeah, I'm all aboard for reading. I wouldn't call myself a reader. I think more, I guess, more Christian has set up the environment for them to pick up a book. But also, it's like whatever you're into. Obviously, you have the passion for it. And if that's something that you want to share with your kids, you should be-- so what I'm looking for-- fortuitous? Whatever the adjective version of fidelity is, I guess. [CHEERING] Hi! Hey, fortuitous! You got it. I'm kidding. What? Having Uncle Jason just said the word of the day, it was fortuitous. Oh, cool. Like, for example, I'm an artist. And I would like to show that to my kids. So I'll make sure I show them what a studio looks like, where you can just walk in and start doing something. And sometimes it's a mess. And I have to go back and arrange it, kind of like how you have to fold your clothes. Or maybe you want your kids to be active outside. So our garage space is sometimes messy. And if you want that stuff to be used, it's like make the bikes available. Make the toys easily accessible so they can just go outside instead of crawling over razor scooters and Amazon boxes. That's-- those are my two absolute worst things that are in a garage. So I like that it's attached to reading, but I think it can be anything, whatever you're into, and whatever you want your kids to be into. Set it up. What's up, Sloan? Yeah. So what do you-- how would you define your home environment? What are two words that you would say would define the environment that you live in? Oh, frozen throw-fit is in Phoenix. Not in Phoenix or in Sedona. Yeah, I really looked at it. You guys look like over 100 miles of it in New Jersey. Yeah. Well, at some point, yes. I'd love to hook up. Or Colorado, if you're ever in Colorado. It's my time favorite. It's not my time. That's just-- it's the sun's not up yet. So that's California dark. Oh, Sloan really loves California. She loves to go to California. Broke-fit, I said over an hour away. Don't correct me. I know it. I know it. No, I don't know where Phoenix is. Here all I know is that on the highways, Los Angeles. I think you're north. I'm pretty sure that you're northeast, right? Am I wrong with that? I guess I-- hold on, hold on, Sloan. What are two words that would-- you think at the end of your whole environment would describe? You guys helped someone. What are two words that you would use? Friendhouse. Friendhouse? Yeah. Friend and house? Or is friendhouse now one word? But what would be one more? I'm going to say one more, then two more. And I'll just last my promise. Just one more. [INAUDIBLE] Jazz? All right. Life could be so easy. [LAUGHS] Friends, chairs. Friends, house, and chairs. That's interesting. I mean, that's just what kids like pick up. I know what I picked up as a kid from my house growing up. And there's a lot of things that I do in my home today because of how we grew up. And so it's definitely something good to me that-- but definitely something bad. [INAUDIBLE] Don, what's your takeaway on the constructing your environment? [INAUDIBLE] My takeaway, similar to many of my takeaways from this month, is that I need to do better about, for sure, displaying things like books. We are definitely not a book and reading friendly family. So I've been thinking a lot about trying to get some sort of bookshelf or a couple of hanging shelves and trying to put them somewhere to kind of display some of my books and then have the kids theirs. I mean, like I said before, each kid has their own little cubby thing in their room where they have their books. But it's not displayed around the rest of the house, like the main areas of the home. And we're normally in the main areas of the home and only in our rooms for the shorter portions of the day or the clothing changes or whatever. So it's like the books are more out of sight than anything. Where would you do? You could put books and display them. Because I think a lot of people don't put them out. Because I feel like I'm this way too. I don't want a lot of knickknacks all around as I sit next to my whole collection of e-friend stuff here. But I don't want to like a lot of knickknacks out there, right? So I don't want books just. Then I've had this before where books are everywhere. The kids' room is kind of like that, right? They have some books and shelves in their bunk bed. But maybe that's the reason. Where would you in your home put more books for your family? I have a thought. I'm curious what you might think. You have a thought on my home? I have a general thought of maybe where a family could put it. And then anyway, yeah. So we have in our living room, we have this built-in cabinet that has doors on the lower part of it. So that's where we put all of our games. It's like our game cabinet. And then up top, it has two shelves. So I was thinking in that area because we just have, like you said, knickknacks and random stuff up there. And then the other part is like our-- I don't know what you call it. It's like our other living room or our formal living room, you might call it. We call it the circle chair room because we have this giant circular shaped chair. So it's more of a sitting room. There's no TV in it, nothing like that. But I think a bookshelf could go in there pretty easily somewhere. Yeah. Stash, Jennifer, so. I was in-- yeah, there's so many places. I was thinking, where does everyone end up going out? We don't have any stairs here because we're in an apartment building. But I feel like having it kind of around the stairs, somewhere like a built-in staircase, and if you need a built-in staircase, you're looking for contractors to find out where you can possibly make this renovation a thing in your life. And you get it done. Tom is in Southern California. He can help you out with anything. He's changed lives with what he does. So that would be really cool. I don't know if you have to think in the staircase. So stay kind of around there because you're always walking by. Yeah. Oh, anyway. All right, we're at time. And guys, any thoughts, any final thoughts and feelings? Go find Blaze on whatnot. Oh, yeah. Please, Community Notes. We know that we are built from and off of the V friends community, V friends community, IP from Gary Vaynerchuk. A lot of our parents and friends have come together through there. Today, the community we have about how many people is like 12 people, all going on whatnot to display and sell some of their things. But it's just the community getting together. So if you are someone who knows what not is head over there, please, it's starting right now. It starts at night. I think Blaze is up there at the moment. Tell him that V Dad sent you, that the daily dad sent you. We love that too. And yeah, we'll see you next time. Jason, anything, any last thoughts? No, let's say solid meditation. I think-- what do I think? I don't know. I don't have words to it yet. That's OK. That's OK. You don't even know. Tell Jason to send you some pictures from Sedona. That's a gorgeous place. We're just like returning a text because obviously, service has been an issue. So all right, guys, have a good day. We'll see you soon. Love you guys. Bye. See you, Jens.