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Daily Dads #123: Memorization is Only the First Step to True Understanding

Daily Dads #123:

The Dads explore themes of fear, gratitude, and the challenges of parenting. They discuss the importance of self-care, community support, and the balance between work and family life. The dialogue also delves into the differences between memorization and true understanding, emphasizing the need for diverse perspectives in learning and parenting. The hosts encourage accountability among friends and the value of showing up for one another in a parenting community.


Takeaways from today:

  • Let go of fear and embrace support from friends.
  • Prioritizing self-care is essential for mental health.
  • Accountability among friends can help maintain balance.
  • Showing up daily can be challenging but rewarding.
  • Memorization is just the first step to true understanding.
  • Diversity in experiences enriches our children's lives.
  • Building connections within the community is vital.
  • Reflecting on parenting helps us grow as individuals.
  • Understanding concepts is more important than rote memorization.
  • Creating a supportive environment fosters growth and learning.


Keywords: fear, gratitude, parenting, community, balance, learning, memorization, understanding, support, connection, Ryan Holiday, Vaynerchuck, GaryVee, VeeFriends, VeeDads, DailyDads, Daily Dads


Other Resources:

Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday: https://dailydad.com/

Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: https://dailystoic.com/

VeeFriends: https://veefriends.com/


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Join VeeDads, Blaze Hirsch, Dom Rouzaud, and Ryan Turner, every morning at 8:30 est on Twitch. We cover a daily meditation from Ryan Holiday’s, “The Daily Dad”. Our community joins live in the chat and shares their insights as well. Feel free to join us. Catch replays of the live discussion on the VeeDads podcast through Spotify or Apple Podcasts. 


Visit http://veedadsofficial.com for merch and other insights around all things Dad life. 


For business questions and collaboration please email:

Ryan Turner

ryanturner@foodisfuelnyc.com

Broadcast on:
08 Oct 2024
Audio Format:
other
- ♪ Too much, let go of the fear ♪ ♪ If you got a friend, if you thinkin' too much, let go of the fear ♪ ♪ If you got a friend, I'm a deal ♪ - What's happening, guys? - Good morning. - You got some Pete, you got driving, you got sitting, you got dumb gettin' arrested again? I love this. - God. - I always think that the light's shining on you. It looks like you're gettin' arrested. - Ooh. - Oh. - Yep. - Streetsy for man, they're yellow. - You got a little V-friend's action happening. - ♪ Thinkin' too much, let go of the fear ♪ - What's a little music? - A little half a closet, won't we? - I like that theme song. I think it's a pretty good theme song. Guys, I'm like in the middle of trying to figure this thing out right now, but we're doin' good. How was your morning? How was your sleep? Did we get steps in yesterday? How's our body feelin'? Do we have the shoes on our feet that we want? What do you think? - All right. - All good, man. - Good. - Yeah, I'm glad. - Right. - Um... - Do you remember a couple of... - Yeah, but I didn't hear you. - Grand, do you remember? - Say it again. - Do you remember a couple of weeks ago when I was like... I like to push myself to my limits. - Yeah. - Well, that's where I'm at right now, so I'm a little frazzled and frustrated. But I think this is a good centering part of my morning, so I'm happy to be here. - That's awesome, man. Is there anything with... Well, here, why don't we do a little bit of gratitude? Say, "Here, that's kinda where you're going with that." I think that's a great thing. I think a lot of people... It's also the time of year, I feel like it's, you know, this is where I think a lot of us are really pushed to the max, and we have to find... Like, recently, you even told me in a private thing that you're like, "I just can't... I can't do a little more right now." But that was awesome. I think many people don't know how to say no. - Thank you. - It was good. When you're at your max, what is the minimum that you feel like you're able to do for yourself to take care of yourself? At these moments? - I think it's really just prioritizing, like... I think it's even more important that I'm going to reach theory or yoga because I need that many times to recharge my battery and get some chemicals in my neurotransmitters firing on my body. So I think that's like the most important thing. - Oh, yeah, man. I hear you 1,000% on that. That's definitely important. Do you feel like you're able to do that? Are you doing that right now? - Well, I think that's the problem is, but I maxed out with things I can do, which is fine. But on top of that, the three-year-old's been sick all week. And so he skipped school Monday and Tuesday. He went yesterday, but now he's staying home again today. It's just like, "Okay, I have a lot of things that I need to do." But I also have a little humid, sick. And I mean, selfishly, I'm like, "You're disrupting my flow right now." But I also know that you're a little three-year-old. And I have all the support. It's just really hard to connect from that and focus on other things. - I hear you, man. Well, I love that you definitely have that really good perspective on it. Dom, how do you feel right now with everything going on in life where you feel and are you feeling like there's a lot happening? Do you have things under control? - A little bit, a little bit. I think I'm slacking a little in work definitely on certain days more than others. Like marathon stream days where I get distracted. But I think I've found a decent balance in everything that I have to do. You know, not doing too much in any one area. But yeah, I think I'm okay. - You know what? I'm so glad to hear that. Is there, I think that's for sure. This is the time of year. And the answer could be for many people is like, well then, you know what? Go take time for yourself and really come back. I think as friends and I think as making sure that we are dads that are definitely helping each other, I think that it would be the most beneficial thing to make sure that we are thinking about that minimum and just holding each other accountable to it. So if it's Blaze, you showing up to Orange Theory, you know, when you can, as least like what? Three days a week. I would love to make sure that, you know, we're doing that for you. And then Dom, I mean, Blaze told me the other day. I was like way too much streaming for me. And he was like, just to delete the app. And it was, it was a helpful thing. I didn't delete the app, but it was helpful to be like, yeah, other people like have that same thought sometimes too. So you know what? I want you guys to hold me accountable to, hey, how long did you actually spend on streams yesterday? I did go on a long walk yesterday. And so I just, I was streaming and walking, which is a helpful thing, but just want to make sure that it's it. So yeah, man, thanks for, thanks for sharing all of that. - Yeah, the other, this last weekend and Monday or whatever, it was like one day I think I saw like nine hours on whatnot on my screen time. And then it's been like, I think I've put down a couple hundred bucks. And so I like, yeah, stayed off of it for a couple of days and kind of stayed off of everything, just other than like some real quick chats and daily steps. And then texted my wife saying, hey, honey, just let you know, spend a couple of hundred bucks. Sorry, couldn't help it. I was in the hype train. - You are definitely a hard worker man. So I know that maybe it's your way of decompressing just a little bit. That's good. I think that communication with your wife about it too is definitely helpful. So like can people out of people on budget and then help them out? We have a lot of stuff going on guys. Why don't we make sure that we can get through a few things here, just make sure that we're definitely doing it. Just say hi to the chat, we see Robby, we see Naife, Naife, good to see you again. I'm always thinking about you 'cause I know we have a lot going on. But didn't say MP, we got MP, we got Brof it over here. And yeah, that's our, that's our fam for today. We got a good 30 people watching right now. Mainly, I'm always curious where people are watching from 'cause I can break that down on my daily dads because Blaze does such a good job of curating everything on that page. We have 19 people. So we have basically two thirds of everyone watching from my daily dads. And we got three, three people over here on my own personal ex. And we got eight people in the VDADs official stream here. So welcome. Thank you for being here guys. We love you. And if you got any gratitude, please drop it in the chat. I know Blaze is kind of dropping a little bit there. We just shared some things that Nate has over here. Thank you so much for dropping that. MP, really quick and easy one. Grateful for you guys showing up every day. I gotta be honest guys, it's not always easy to show up every single day. And to be honest, it's something where it's like, you know what, we don't wanna do it. It's the same thing as work, the same thing as kids. But I gotta be honest, it's, I think when we see people showing up every day in whatever capacity we can, I think it helps everyone out. And that's really what I wanna do for people too. And I know that these two gentlemen here, driving and sitting in the dark, they wanna do the same exact thing. So thank you guys. Guys, have any specific gratitude, Dom, did you wanna share that? I mean, it's Thursday. So get to go home today and be with the family for the weekend. So that's always something I look forward to. Oh man, that's awesome. I'm so happy for you and you end up having those days. Yeah, that's good stuff. What's the first thing you and your family do when you finally get home? I mean, since I get home late, it's more of just checking in, like finding each family member, wherever they're at and hiding, giving them a help to them, seeing how they're doing, seeing what they're doing. Letting them talk to me about whatever it is that they wanna talk to me about, whether it's their day or what they're currently working on. Yeah. So yeah, just like checking in, you know. Just tell them that. Okay, I love that. Well, good stuff, man. Glad that that's getting you back home. Please, any other gratitude you wanna drop? Just kind of piggybacking off of what you were saying. It's just great to come in here, join the community. And then I just like all the different connections that we're building and that got out to MP. He connected us with dad gang a little bit yesterday. And I think it's always cool to be introduced up. Hooked up with like some different people in the community. And if you guys don't know the dad company and their cool awesome hats, I think Dak Prescott was wearing one, some other people. And I just think that they have like a really good dad community, a huge dad community. And I think it's just really cool to be in that circle, whatever sphere, whatever. So I'd rather appreciate you up and join us. I think that is a huge one. Thank you so much MP for always being, mean talk about consistency. MP is just showing up every day with his coffee, with his kids. How many baseball games does MP go to a month? I'm very impressed, very impressed by it. Ryan, what are we putting together right now? And it put together a light stand. I got, guys, I've been like working so remotely for so long. And I finally have like a little setup at home that's like giving me a little bit of clarity. And I'm able to kind of stream from there, which has been really good. And so just trying to build things out, guys, just trying to keep myself happy and successful as I can. So one step at a time and rebuilding equipment like this that people who are podcasting and streaming just really need some time. So we all can't be as wonderful streaming from our car as always, I just know that mine can't do it. I can't do all time, man. You could always. What do you say? But the phone holder is been awesome. I can't believe you were on here for so many episodes just holding your phone. That's Blaze just just being adaptable. Well, I'm surprised that he- I also wanted to be arrested for a crash. It probably wasn't good for your name and you'd be seeing you driving like that too. She's like, oh, I guess I can do that. Well, I always tell my name, I always don't text and drive and she always sees me texting and driving. And so maybe that's something I need held accountable for 'cause I feel like a trash, like you can sit that out loud 'cause texting and driving's like really bad. So don't do that. Yeah. Encourage me not to do that. I've been texting and driving less since I got this phone mount. So I think that's good. And that's where my mind went with it. But I think that's kind of a good segue. Into the meditation today, which is eagles, man. They're eagles? The meditation's not about seagulls. Seagulls. So today, I don't know at the time. It was no way versus, I think, memorizing. And what it made me think about is we memorize all these facts. But what made me think about, if we don't know enough to apply them, then who cares? Like in the example of texting and driving, I know people that were injured. I know people that crashed their cars. I don't know anyone that died from texting and driving, but I know there's lots of people that have died from somebody texting and driving and/or vice versa. And so if you're not knowingly applying the things you know, then do you really even know it or not or didn't resonate enough? And I just think about all the things I've had to memorize in my life, but did I really know them and apply them? That's how I'm being reflective today on today's meditation and also one of my introducing my kids to, like they all have memorized their supposed to see vegetables, but none of them know enough to actually do it. So we'll see, maybe the V-dom will help my kids eat vegetables. I don't know, we'll see what happens. - Maybe, maybe, I'm definitely excited. We have Baruch and I are trying to work on something right now. So we'll see if it comes to fruition on that side. But it might. Could you at the side with the meditation? - So I, guys, I changed careers. I was a marine science major for a really long time. Marine science was fun. The first thing that people tell you when you walk into a marine science class, the first one ever at a school that really specializes in marine science, they sit everyone down and they look you in the eye and they say, if you are here because you are going to think you're gonna play with dolphins, you should leave right now. That's what they said. And I got up and I left now, I'm just kidding. I didn't get it, because really what I loved about marine science was plate tectonics. I loved how the earth moved, I loved how it can definitely change things like environments and climates and how it can affect certain populations of animals, all that kind of stuff too. So I loved it. Now, the reason I'm saying this is because I went back to school at some point when I realized that I did not want to do marine science anymore. And I took some time away and then I went back to school as a little bit older, not really that much older. But I went back to school, I came back from South Carolina, I went back to New York, well, I never lived in New York, but I went to New York. And then I applied for the nutrition program here at NYU. And again, NYU, and I was excited. I was like, look, I've always been into sports and I want to be sports nutrition. I was really excited and still am. And I definitely felt as if I did not fit in sometimes because I didn't have the memory, I still don't. I mean, my working memory most of the time just because the way that my brain has developed is not always the best. But what I did to try and feel as if I could measure up to people was to keep memorizing things. And so the amount of time that it took for me to memorize certain things like the Krebs cycle, I could draw it out and everything else in biochem and everything I would go and I would redraw things. And I would redraw and I would rethink and I'd be restating it and I could just say it to a point that was like just grotesque. And then every single test for a year, I didn't have to do any of that. And it was all based on more of the philosophy with a nutrition understanding how it really fit into someone's life and all that kind of stuff too. So all these diagrams that I did and everything else, it didn't matter whatsoever. I don't even remember the Krebs cycle right now and it's a huge part of metabolism, right? And so I think, I always think back to that, whenever I have to teach my kids something and I always think about, we talked about it before, what was the Mr. Amazing, what was it? Mr. Whatever it was. - Thank you. - Captain Fantastic, thank you so much. I'm going marble, I feel like. But Captain Fantastic, I think about that clip every single time where he taught his kids outside of the traditional public education system all about basically how to make sure that his kids did understand and could recite what certain things are, like what is the constitution? What is this? But really he was being able to kind of teach them how to think through it and how to say it. I always think back to it. Now, I know it's Hollywood kind of glamorizing all these things. I think it might have been a true story, but that one specific thing may be not. But that's where it hit for me. And it makes me think every single time that if I ever see my kids trying to memorize something that I'm going to try and mix it up a little bit and have that different conversation, whether it's, you know, Captain Fantastic or by saying extra far again, but whatever it is. I always think about that and how I can apply that and not put my kids in the same position that I did wasting, well not wasting, but spending so much time trying to memorize things that didn't even matter. And I probably could have been further along in some of my understandings of certain things. So that's where I took it from today. - Yeah, I kind of thought about the same thing when I was reading it. And then the other thing I thought about was, and I don't, most of you with younger kids won't know this, but you understand it when you get to that point, but like the new series of math, like the Common Core Math. I don't know if you guys know much about it, but it was kind of like a weird thing that just they transitioned to a rounder before the COVID time. And I remember just being like the strangest thing 'cause I had had a kid who was already through both of the grades and then they just decided they wanted to change how they were gonna teach math. But now looking back at it, I see it as more, instead of like math always being like, memorize this formula and this is what you do every time you see something, they are teaching more of a outside the box, like think of the problem from different angles, there's no one right way to attack a problem even as simple as like addition. So that's what this reading made me think, too, even though everybody was fighting and making jokes about math as math, why would you teach math a different way? I definitely like it, I find it really interesting. Oh, lost place, no, can you hear me? - I can hear you, sorry, it's on me because I never know how loud this class is behind me. But take a screen, I was thinking about what you said and I do love it, I do agree as well. I mean, make something like learning and memorization somewhat fun. A little bit of it makes me question though, if we're just putting something to song, are we just going through the memorization again? Or is there a way that that song and the rhyme scheme and all those things that it's helping us apply it a little bit differently? Maybe we're having more fun with it, that's a possibility. But I would definitely say, is it just another way of memorization? Obviously I'm not trying to take a fight with this idea, but I'm just, it's more of a more of a question. From that, once we have the song, then what do we do? - Well, sorry, my phone overheated and then it cooled off and now I'm back. But what that makes me think of, I think about like the rap song or some of the songs that I've heard where it talks about like memorizing the capitals of states. And so what that does make me think about from the other end of the spectrum of today's meditation, like we still need to memorize some things. I mean, I think memorization is the first step to knowing. And so I think maybe it's making that conscious effort to say, okay, now that I memorize this, what do I do with it? If you guys don't know, I went to like private Christian school for the first like eight years of my life, and we had to memorize the Bible verses. And we would get A-plus is for memorizing these verses, which I guess is like really cool. But then you'd move on to the next one and the next one and the next one. And I think maybe if you actually spent more time going over whether it's Bible verses, meditations, concepts, theories, and you spent more time like actually knowing what it meant in applying it, then we wanna even need this medication, meditation. Meditation, we'll be talking about it. So I'm just so reflective right now of like, what have I memorized in my past and just had no clue about? When I was in sixth grade, I did the I Have a Dream speech for like speech competition. And I just know we talked a little bit about Martin Luther King Jr, but I really didn't know what it meant from the eyes of like a 10 or 11 year old. I'm like, oh, it's all, yeah, we all wanna hang out, but now that I have kids and like talking about being on a mountain with all these different kids from all these different cultures, hanging out and holding hands and stuff. I'm like, man, that's so deep. And I just think about, you were talking about it yesterday, Ryan is like diversity and exposing our kids to either it's older people or it's different cultures. And I'm going really off tangent right now, but really think about it. - You're a man, you're not tangent. - Memorizing versus knowing stuff. - Oh, it's awesome. - It's been done with old people episode. - Oh, yeah. - Done, do you spend time with older people? - I feel like you're an old soul. - I do a little bit, you know, it's like all my clients span, you know, different ages. So, you know, I have a lot of clients that are grandparents already, but not as much as I'd want to. And then I know that my middle child, she really vibes with old people. So I try to get her around, but we haven't been some of the old people that she used to hang out with in our old neighborhood. - I see. - They, two of them passed away and it was very hard on her. And then the third one, we go and see each other. - Is this your older daughter or your middle child? - My middle child, yeah. - I don't know your children that well, but I feel as if you were middle child, can you remind me her name one more time, please? - Brooklyn. - Brooklyn, why don't I not remember that? - I feel as if Brooklyn definitely has a personnel, like when you said that, I was like, oh, I could definitely see her hanging out with, you know, some older, more wise individuals for sure, 'cause she's a little more, is she more studious? Maybe it's just 'cause she's wearing glasses and I'm just a really shallow person. - No, she's just my emotional, like loving, sweet, caring one. - Yeah. - And she's not into, and she's my artistic one. So she's not, she's not the study, like by the books, Straight A Kid, that's Bailey, the older one. And so she just always got along with these older people that lived in our neighborhood, would go to their house, would bring them stuff, like make them cookies and then go down to their house, like it was just like her thing. And then when they passed away, like, we broke the news to her, just like rocked her world, like, like, like nothing I've ever seen. 'Cause like, even when my grandparents passed away, like I didn't get as emotional as she got for these people that were just our neighbors, essentially, but they were, they were neighbors her whole life, right? So she was born around them and all that stuff. So I understood it. - It was in a book. - Yeah, I love the idea of spending time with old people. Like Gary preaches that, doesn't he? - Where, hold up, I mean, I know we're at time and I wanna, - Sorry. - I hate when I feel like interrupts. - No, you're good. - Go ahead, Liz, what were you saying? - I was just saying that he talked about cursing at your grammar, a bunch of your grammar, but I think it goes back to like, don't say about, you don't get validation from all people. Great conversations today. I did wanna take a break just 'cause it looks like, to my eyes right now, we have 60 people in the room. So there might be a lot of new people. So I just wanted to do like a quick rundown. Hey everybody, my name is Blaze. This is Ryan and Dom and we're on here every morning, eight, 30 a.m. We're going through the book The Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday. And so we open the day with gratitude. We talk about the meditation. We talk about what's going good in our lives, what we might be struggling with. If anybody wants a copy from Audible of The Daily Dad, message us on X and I can get you a code for a free copy of the book. I have like four or five left. I'd love to gift that to some people. Anyone on Twitch, if you wanna subscribe, it helps us out as we're trying to build some stuff out. And again, but we're just really trying to build this parenting community, talking about parenthood every single day. And then of us are parenting experts. I'm a registered nurse. Ryan's, you're a registered dietitian, yeah? Or is it nutritionist? No, on a butcher, your name. - Registered dietitian and nutritionist, the same thing. But you guys are also nutritionist is what we say. So nutritionist has no actual grounding to it. It's just anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. - And then Dom's our West Coast contingent out in California. And you're in LA and you're, is it a, your contractor? - He's building homes. He's building homes for the movers and shakers of our world is what's going on over there. He isn't, he isn't, he isn't shared with us. The amazing individuals that he is involved with every single day. - But not at liberty to disclose my client's information. - It's not HIPAA man, chill. - You're building Gary a house in California. So, but anyways, we're on here every day. We tried to do some other stuff too, but follow us on X, follow us on Twitch, follow us on YouTube. And we're trying to get some more round tables together where we take some deeper dives. I know we want to talk more about single parenting. We want to talk more about divorce. We want to talk more about raising difficult kids or raising kids in general or topics that you guys want to talk about. So we're here every morning, join us. It might not always be the three of us. It's just Ryan, what's up? - That moment again, that moment where I feel like I've interrupted and I hate it. I hate myself right now. - You're fine. - I'm done. That's all I had. - Ryan, Tom, take it away. - I'm just gonna say, I think that was great. I think to wear with all, to understand and see. I guess we must have been maybe retweeted by somebody or maybe it was from yesterday with Dad Gang. That's it. But yeah, we'd love for you guys to join us there. Please set it all. I'm not saying anything new or special. Please, did it. Thank you, please. - I think maybe because we have subscribers now, we might be moving up in the Twitch logarithm, if I had a guess, but also I know Dad Gang mentioned us yesterday in MP. So if you're here from that, welcome. - Yeah, of course not good. All right. Well, please want to sign us off. - And then our trademark that needs to be probably trademarked is made your hard stay filled with gratitude and your cups of coffee. Everybody have a great day. We'll see you tomorrow. And from the meditation today, memorizing verse knowing. Try to be animated. - That's all good. - That's all good. I also just want to put it out there. I also want to put it out there that I withheld any knowing known references from today, which I felt was really good at me. So. - Oh, well now I feel like we might have, that was a disservice, just kidding. I don't know, I have a good day.