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Daily Dads #112: Celebrating Life Amidst Loss - Importance of Support Systems

Daily Dads #112:

Today we have Craig from Australia join us and the Dads discuss various themes surrounding grief, family dynamics, and parenting. They share personal experiences related to loss, the importance of communication and support within families, and the challenges of raising teenagers in today's world. The conversation also touches on cultural exchanges and lighthearted moments, emphasizing gratitude and the significance of allowing children to explore their interests and social lives.


Takeaways from today's episode:

  • Grief is a complex journey that requires open communication.
  • Involving children in the grieving process can help them cope better.
  • Support from friends and family is crucial during tough times.
  • Encouraging children's independence fosters their growth.
  • Navigating teenage challenges requires understanding and education.
  • Substance awareness is essential in today's society.
  • Cultural exchanges can bring joy and connection.
  • Gratitude can be a powerful tool for healing.
  • It's important to let children explore their interests freely.
  • Lighthearted moments can provide relief amidst serious discussions.


Keywords: grief, family dynamics, communication, parenting, teen challenges, substance awareness, cultural exchange, support, gratitude, daily dads, Ryan Holiday, Vaynerchuck, GaryVee, VeeFriends, VeeDads, DailyDads, Daily Dads


Other Resources:

Daily Dad by Ryan Holiday: https://dailydad.com/

Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday: https://dailystoic.com/

VeeFriends: https://veefriends.com/


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Join VeeDads, Blaze Hirsch, Dom Rouzaud, and Ryan Turner, every morning at 8:30 est on Twitch. We cover a daily meditation from Ryan Holiday’s, “The Daily Dad”. Our community joins live in the chat and shares their insights as well. Feel free to join us. Catch replays of the live discussion on the VeeDads podcast through Spotify or Apple Podcasts. 


Visit http://veedadsofficial.com for merch and other insights around all things Dad life. 


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Ryan Turner

ryanturner@foodisfuelnyc.com




Broadcast on:
05 Oct 2024
Audio Format:
other
Good morning, good morning, good morning. Am I live? Can you see me, people? Let's go. Good morning. Can you hear me? It's really weird 'cause I can't hear anyone. MP, good morning, Nate, good morning. I see you guys in the chat. Give me a heads up if you can hear me, guys. This is so weird. How's all these guys doing? It is Sunday. Let's see here. It is Sunday. All right, let me see here. I'm just trying to open up my DMs and trying to copy a link into the chat. See if anyone wants to join me so that I can not be talking to myself. All right, good morning. Does that work? I think it looks bad. I think it looks weird to try this one. That one seems strange. Yeah, this one's better. Guys, can any of you hear me? Not a single one of you has said that you can hear me. So, there we go. Thank you, Mr. Craig. All right. And I am on the B-Dad's official account. So, let us get going, I guess. This is what happens when Mr. Turner goes on a camping trip. It's 5.35, we're here. Hope everyone's doing well. Craig, it's just me and you. Yeah, man, come on up. Click that link. It's a stream yard link. See if it works. Literally, it's complete silence of my year. So, I don't know what I do. Just seeing him talking to myself for the longest time. I just got back from my walk. Did three miles this morning. Ran in here, jumped on here. I was texting the guys to see if they were going to start the chat or anything. And it was radio silence from both plays and Ryan. So, I opened up my phone and decided to try to start a stream yard by myself. And I did it because Craig can see me. So, let's go Dom. Way to start a stream. So, yeah. Grateful for gratitude today. Let's go trying new things. I'm still grateful for the run walk challenge because, you know, Sundays have been the days that I've not out place as he's backstage. Oh, yep, two people backstage. Oh, there's a new thing. Gary B is Black's backstage. Good morning, good morning. Good morning. - What's up, guys? - Good morning. - Good evening. - Good evening. - Good evening, sounds. - I forgot to change my name so I'm going to speak to Nathan live. Gary B's love child, save the bees. All hives matter. Yes, that was awesome. Hey, Craig, how you doing? - Good, man, are you? - I'm good. I have just finished shifting all of my stuff from my other house that I need 'cause I'm moving in with my son and daughter who were living with their mum before she passed away. So, I've just moved in with them just to keep them company, to make sure that everything's okay and just to be around during this time, you know? - Yeah. - So, how old are they? - My son is 28 and my daughter is 23. - Okay. - So, and I think it's part of the blessing is that, excuse me, they're adults, so they understand what's happening that's been a five-year approach as an ACF, she's fought the battle of cancer for five years. So, we've always known and we've always educated all three of our children. You know, there is an end date that cancer brings an end date, especially with the cancer that mum had been terminal that this day was coming, right? So, over the last 18 months, we've planted that seed in their head that the state was coming and that we can't bury our heads in the sand that we have to face reality. And, you know, they took that onboard really well. They've been so strong, obviously, the day that it happened was still, you know? - Really? - Life changing because you're still, you know, no child should bury their parent. It should be the other way around, you know? I mean, I mean, for her dad on the internet. - I was not there. - No, no, no. I was talking, her dad is 83, yeah. - Oh, he's still around. - Yeah, so-- - Oh, wow. - Is 76 or something like that. They're still around, but her mum and her are strange. So, they don't-- - Yeah. - I think they see each other once every two or three years and that's it. But, you know, I was saying that to her dad, you know, that no father should be burying his child, the children should be burying the parents, you know? It's like-- - Yeah. - But yeah, it's been a tough couple of weeks, but they're good, thickets are good. And I think that transition, you know, I was saying this to somebody, whether they may be named them, you know, then being involved in the planning of the funeral and being able to, you know, select the coffin and select the flowers and do all that, has changed their mindset from being, you know, mum's gone to now, we get to celebrate mum's life. - Yeah, it's beautiful, yeah. - Yeah, so I think that's been a blessing that they've been involved in the whole approach, it's all great for me, so-- - Hi. - Yeah, so they're good, as good as can be. The funeral's on the 27th, so we're still, but it was still two weeks out from the funeral, in here, in Australia, I don't know, other states in Australia, but too many people have let you die at the same time, so we've got to get in a queue. - Yeah, oh my gosh. - Yeah, so we had a three-week delay on the funeral services, so-- - So it's wild. - It is what it is. - Yeah, we can't do much about it. It's three weeks to get into the place where they want to do the funeral, so. - Three weeks to do? - So, Craig, with everything that you have going on, what's helping you keep saying right now is that your kids, is it walks, is it jumping into the daily dads, is it talking with Nate, what are you leaning on right now to just maintain-- - It's a bit of everything. - It's a bit of everything. It's like being around the kids, you know, it's also work, you know, being able to go to work and focus on work for eight hours, and don't take my mind off things and just work, and then, but it's being around the kids, and I think the biggest blessing for me is seeing how strong the kids have been, how resilient they are in the education that we've given them has enabled them to have a greater understanding about life and death. So, I think that, and obviously, Nate is there. He messages me every single day. There's a few other people that also message me every single day just to check in and make sure I'm doing okay, and that I'm taking time for me as well, so. - Awesome. - Yeah. You know, the kids and I have some very deep and meaningful conversations, almost every single day, about the future, about the past, you know, about sorting out all the mum's stuff that she's left behind, about what we want to do with it, you know, do we want to sell it, do we want to donate it to charities, do we want to donate it to homeless and things like that. So, it's been pretty cool. So, we've had plenty of time to reflect and plenty of time to talk about the future. So, it's good. And this, obviously, I love the daily dads and being able to get in and talk with you guys. And this all helps, you know. - If you don't, that's okay. (laughing) - I'm not gonna say anything else, everyone now. I'm kidding. (laughing) But no, it's good, it's, you know, it's good to be able to. - And I've been, the last couple of days, I've been jumping into, you know, all these new people now are starting to stream, you know, like Anne and Ben last night. And then we've got Sorgi and Whiskey next week. So, I think all of these new guys and girls that have decided to, you know, do V-friend streams is sort of a blessing. It takes, it takes your mind off reality for a little moment, you know. - Oh yeah. - Yeah. - Which we all need. So, but bless to be surrounded by people that, that, as we say in Australia, hey, would that give a shit, you know what I mean? - Mm-hmm. - In two weeks, I'm trying to put together like a what not marathon for like people that have never done a show before or nervous about it, because I think the hardest thing with starting streams is like you never know who's gonna tune in. So like on what not, in two weeks, I'm trying to get like a bunch of people to sign up. That's the day of the funeral though, so I'm not gonna ask you about it, but we'll be here hopefully streaming all day. If you need to break the jump in and get your mind off things. - Yeah, I mean, the funeral's 10 a.m. in the morning and then we have the, you know, a wake afterwards which will go to probably two or three o'clock. So that's like three o'clock in the morning, US time, EST anyway. So, it's some, yeah, I've always, I'm always willing to jump into things that take my mind off other things, you know. - Absolutely, let me know. - And your beard's looking fierce. - I know, I need to say. - I didn't have record now, you let it rage. - No, I need to shave because I've got a, I think I told you, my best mate's mother passed two days before my ex-wife did say her funerals tomorrow. So, and I'm a pallbearer, so I'm carrying the coffin. So I'm gonna make sure I trim and shave and then I've dusted the suit off. I haven't worn the suit for years, but I've dusted the suit off. (laughing) So, yeah, it's, so that's tomorrow at two p.m. So. - Oh man, we'll definitely think of you and your friends and family. - It's live, you know, it's the circle of life, isn't it? - Hey, can you say hi? - Hi, my name's Eureka, my name's Eureka. - Okay, I'll be right there, okay. (laughing) - Simple, buddy. - Man, everyone's coming after me right now. Everybody wants a piece of blades. (laughing) And I have to, I got a big consulting project. I've gotta finish today, so I'm like, look at me alone. (laughing) - Dad's gotta work. - Dad's gotta work. - That's right. What, uh, did anybody do the reading today? - Please, I haven't actually, I've got it right here, though, just before. - I'll pull it out now. - Did Ryan show you the little thing I made? Check this out, I don't know if Ryan showed it to you or not, but in my daily dad's book, you can see that little blue bookmark. Hold on, I'll hold it up like this, ready, I'll slide it out slowly for you, hang on. (laughing) No, no, no, no, ready? - Yeah. - Hold on, here it comes, ready. - Ooh, oh, you made a B-Friends bookmark. - B-Dads. - Oh, B-Dads, that's awesome. And that might be the first, that's a, they're always talking about the first, like that's the, I think that's the first B-Dads bookmark. You know, that's, that's an item to think about. Hold on to. - Yes, sir, I did make quite a few of them though, so I've got plenty of stock. And just so you know, did you realize that it's 28 years today since two-pat died? - Oh, really? - 28 years today. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Let's see, that means he died when I'm 37, 28, when I was nine, I think. So I think I missed, I wasn't two-part. Do you know what, like, I'm curious, do you remember the day, 'cause, Craig? - I remember hearing it, I think, 'cause we're always at a day in front, so I heard about you the next day, but I heard it over the radio, at work. - Catch me, mate. - Yeah, I remember it particularly, but I remember learning about it more in high school, and all that. - So, what do you think about the glaze? Do you have a shout of gratitude for us? - Oh yeah, gratitude. - That's what we were doing, yeah. - Naze of gratitude. - My wife came back from her, like, four or five-day trip yesterday. Hey, Brody, can we not play the piano right now? - I know. - And so I'm just really happy with my wife, so I'm going to help with all these kids, but she had a good time, her cups full, and everything's good, so just thankful that she had a safe trip, and she's back. - Thanks, how long was she going for? - Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and she got back yesterday, like five p.m., so like four or five days. - Okay. - Sweet. - But I did read today, boy, listened, and so I never had the titles. You have the, what was the title today? - Protect this impulse. - Oh, yeah, so I love today's because I think it goes back to like, the way it goes, we were talking about the other day where it's like, if your kid wants to read, like, the end of the book, let them read the end of the book. - Yeah. - And I think it just made me think about, just be more open to letting them guide the conversation, let them guide the reading, let them guide the day, be open to that, and encourage them. I've been yelling at my kids all day, and encourage them. I've been yelling at my kids a lot more the past week because the three-year-olds starting to get, like, in everyone's business a little bit more, and so I'm trying to, like, instead of shutting his energy jacked down, trying to, like, guide it over his brother and sister. So that's where it has my mind going today. - I like the fact that he says something in the book. I read it just about if they want to read God with them, you know, because, you know, how hard it is when you were growing up in a kid to read anything in school, you know, as he said at the start, it's a pain in the ass to read something in school, right? Nobody wanted to read. I know I didn't really start reading until I was in my 30s. So I think, you know, as he says, if they want to read, just God damn, let them read. - Yeah, 100%. - I like this one too, you know, putting their impulse to, even people who play with them on the whole stream. - What was that part, John? - No, headphones keep cutting off. So they even protect their impulse to play piano in the background of a live stream. - Mm-hmm. - Let them do it, you know. - Yeah. - Better than fighting with each other. - Great. - Yeah, I agree. - Could have the next Liberace on your hands, probably let him go. - Oh, he's just hitting the-- - Dipers and pianos. - Yeah, let him go. (laughing) - The fight every day right now is-- (laughing) - Oh yeah, you're doing a really good job, buddy. Use your fingertips. - Okay. (laughing) - And not your toes. - No. - I was saying the same thing as Craig, like I didn't have an enjoy, enjoyment of reading and I was thinking, I didn't even have anyone like, he didn't think he was going to win my head. - What's going on? - Pausing. - Pausing, sorry. - Pausing. - That's you, you're the buzzing sound. I just told everyone in the chat-- - Very great. - You have a hive of bees behind you. (laughing) But no, my headphones keep cutting out and switching over my phone and I have to keep switching back. (laughing) (laughing) Sorry, I'm so scattered today with this piano playing. - You are right, look, I do have a hive of bees behind me. - Oh, nice. - Daddy. - Yes. - Is there any places with your guys's kids that you're like encouraging more rather than like shutting down that you're like, comes to mind or you can think of? For me, it's my high schooler. I'm encouraging her like social life. Like so me and my wife are kind of like, instead of being the parents that don't let her go out or go anywhere, we're like, yeah, you want to go to the football game, you want to go to a kickback, you want to go do, you know, walk around the mall, go to a movie, like just as long as we know where you are and you keep in contact, we're good. Like trying not to be like those parents that are hard said on like, you can't go anywhere or here's your interview or whatever. Even if it's with, how old are you? - 16. - 16. - Yeah. And then at the middle school, we're trying to encourage her in the arts and stuff like that because that's her thing. She's probably the one that was struggling with the most but like we're really, we're trying to help. So she's the one I want to get into all these readings 'cause I think she can benefit from it a lot. - It's like Gary says, isn't it? Find your passion and you'll never work a day in your arts. - Yeah. - Yes. - I'm trying to encourage my daughter to be more social too and sometimes it's like so hard to just like pull her out of the house even to go like hang out with the neighbors and I'm like, I just have such blessings with kids her age being close by and it's like, let's go outside. So I really have to like get her out of her environment which I'm trying to work on but not to the point where like she despises and beats me. - It's social media man. It's so addicting for the kids, you know, whether it be roadblocks, whether it be something else and that ability to communicate with those friends online is what takes them away from that going outside, that social interaction because they're like, why I can just talk to them on the phone and I can just, you know, chat to them in a chat room playing roadblocks or a fortnight, whatever it is they're doing so. And we had the same trouble with my middle son who's now 25, he was a big gamer. So he spent a lot of his time in gaming chat rooms and getting him out of the house was like, you know, pulling teeth, taking him to the dentist. - Well, it's funny now because I'm thinking about it and my daughter wants to stay in her room and read all day. (indistinct) - And whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's wrong? Okay, go get your car. (indistinct) Sorry, yeah. Okay, what do you need buddy? - Go my car. - Okay, go get your car. - Go get my car. - Okay, I'll get your car buddy. - I'm just reading, I'm reading Nate's thing. But go ahead, if you're ready. - Yeah, Nate's exactly that. Like we, she literally asked to go to a party a week or two ago and, you know, we had the whole conversation about drinking and drugs and all of that stuff and just making sure she was, you know, careful not to give it, take anything, you know, all the drugs nowadays seem to be crazy and terrible. You know, I can't say that I wouldn't have, you know, tried any of the ones myself. I think maybe it's more of the hype that's making me crazy, but who knows, maybe Blaze knows since he's a part-time chemist. But. - Because they laced things with everything. - Daddy, look, I found it. - And it's so pure for messed up and it's... - It's terrible these days, even here in Australia, it's terrible these days. You know, everything's made to be so addicting for these kids. Sorry. - Yeah, but I'm going off of what Nave was saying in the chat. He was basically saying, like, as a teenager, like he got up to all kinds of no good and was doing all that stuff and then I was basically saying, like, if fentanyl and all these other drugs were out there when we were teenagers, like, I can't say that it wouldn't have been something that crossed all of our paths pretty easily. But, and so, like, just being open with our kid about it, like, she came back to us and was like, yeah, someone had some alcohol there. It was, like, a seltzer or something like that. They're 16 year olds, and it's like, yeah, it's not okay, but, like, at the same time, like, I had my first drink by the time I was 16 year old, easy. - Oh, yeah, it's like, to me, it's not a punishment thing. It's a more of an educational thing, you know. - No, we told her, we told her, we told her, - No, no, no, we told her. - We told her, we told her, it's told her, so, yeah. - Sorry. - I was saying, I know my daughter had her first, like, introduction to, like, ecstasy. At 16, and it hit her hard, she was one of those, you know, young, easily influenced kids, and got influenced, and hit her hard, and, you know, it turned her off, so it was a good experience in terms of the addictions side of things, 'cause she never got addicted to anything, so, but, um, she still had the experience and learned hard from it, so. - Man, that's such a good topic, 'cause I don't even know, like, 'cause my daughter turns eight today, happy birthday, daughter. - Happy birthday. - Thanks, guys, um, I'm just like, I can't even imagine, like, sitting on a table and having that conversation, like, where my mind would go, so. That's why I love these conversations so much, because, like, I mean, I think about, like, my friends and stuff, where, when they experimented with those kinds of things, and thinking how, like, okay, I know, as a peer, I'm like, no thanks, but, like, as a dad, I'm like, oh man, like, I don't even know. - Yeah, I never, I never went down that, you know? So I was lucky, you know, the friendship group I had were all into sports, and, you know, all trying to achieve at the highest level, and all wanting to make a name for themselves in a career in sports, so, they stayed away from, you know, we stayed away from alcohol, drugs, girls, even until we were 17, 18, and we were all too busy trying to carve a sporting career. Um, I went to, there's a music festival club, Bonnaroo, that I went to, like, two times, and everyone goes and does a bunch of drugs, I didn't, I just, I drank some alcohol, I was, like, 22, and just listened to some good music, but I remember some of these, like, techno concerts that they would have, and these kids would do ecstasy, and you, I would just, I remember sitting there, like, watching some of these people and thinking, oh my gosh, like, I never, I don't know if you're ever gonna come back to, like, reality, and, like, looking at, like, how you are right now, and, I don't know, that stuff always, like, freaked me out. - Great, eight, 12 or 13, man. - It's, and it's funny, when you look at everyone, everyone is raised in a different environment, in a different atmosphere, you know, like, you know, Nate was exposed to it as he sang at 12 to 13. I, I was exposed to it at about 17, and I stopped drinking when I was alcohol at all, I haven't had a drink of alcohol since I was 21. - Oh, wow. - Because I lost a friend of mine, in a hidden run to a drunk driver, at the age of 21. So I'm going back, what am I now, 52? So that's 31 years ago. And I decided from that day that I would, you know, make sure that all my friends were always safe and always got home, and I became the designated driver. So, yeah, it was, we've all gone down a different path, you know? - I just thought my look is good at you at 52, not to, like, take a soundtrack or anything, but really throw it out there, yeah. - Good, well, this plastic savings, I'm gonna recommend a couple of good ones. (laughing) - It's bees, dude, it's bees, it's bees, it's this, look, ready? - I'd love if Nate was an undercover plastic surgeon. (laughing) - It's this, it's the honey man, you gotta get the honey. - Oh, I know we're at time here, but Nate's here, and I just wanted to say I got your package yesterday, and I had to really look into my inner being who I am as a person, because Nate sent me two boxes of Tim Tams, and I... - You wanted to eat them all, didn't you? - I wanted to eat them all, but I was looking at them from the Josh Courage, and I did give them the Josh Courage, but I wanted to eat them all. - Don't you get them to bite on that? - No, no, no, don't you, mate. And thanks for the Mario Packs for bracing, I think I said you a little video, you got a gold Bowser, so he was really excited. I don't know anything about their rarities or anything, but I'm not. - Here we go, have you tasted it yet? - Is this? - No, sir. - Here we go, this is the challenge. You just gotta dip a finger and get a little bit. - I forgot about it until you said, Nate, that your package I was like, oh, I'm supposed to try this live on the camera. - So is this supposed to be like peanut butter, or what is this supposed to be? - It's 15 months, nothing like, don't smell it for God's sake, dawg. - It's just sweet, it's just sweet and vegetable. - It's yeast. - Vitamin's. - Vitamin. - It's yeast. - Yeast extract. - It smells, it smells horrid, at least. - It smells like beer. - Of beer. - Big piece. - Shout out to Nate too, for, you know, everyone knows he's gone through a lot of the moment, and he took a mental health day yesterday to focus on himself, so shout out to you brother. - Wow, that was too big of a piece. Holy shit. - Welcome to the family. - Yo, that reminds me of, that reminds me of back in my drinking days, I used to mess with people when I, we'd do like, yay-ger shots, but then I'd like, switch a couple out with soy sauce, like, just pure soy sauce. - Whoa. - I've got it. - Cool. - Nice. - You're gonna be try reaching old diet brother, don't worry. (laughing) All right, any, so, oh, there's new people in here, Dylan, Robin Dylan, clockin' out. Well, not new, but I'm gonna see, R-H. Yeah, fit no scares. - Spawnin' by a karmite. - The crap out of me. All right, anybody else have any last words or anything? Are you gonna eat the whole Vegemite? What are you gonna do with it now? Do you put it on a crackers? What are you supposed to put it on? - He said toast with butter is the alpha. He just said virgin intestines can't handle what you just. (laughing) - Oh gosh. But you can put it on crackers. Some people have it with cheese as well. - You know, a sandwich? - All right. - Cheese and Vegemite, it's very common here. I don't do it, I can't mix the two to get me to tell me. - I'm gonna take a snip of that every morning when I wake up and just feel like I go on the run right now. Clean the sinuses. It's like that stuff they give you when you get knocked out, you know, to wake you up again. - Oh, the smelling salts, yeah. - Yeah, it's like that, so. - All right, everybody have a great day. Let the kids read, "May your heart stay filled "with gratitude and your mugs of coffee." - Thank you, gents. - Thank you. - Love you, gents. - Thanks for running the shit. - Got you. - Thanks for having me. - Yeah, no problem. See you, Greg, thank you. - See you, brother. - Peace out everyone.