VeeDads

@theannebagg REVISITED - Anne - Parenting; Catalyst for Personal Growth, Self Discovery after Perfectionism

ORIGINALLY RELEASED MARCH 2024

In this conversation, Anne Bagg discusses her experience with the VeeFriends community and how it has impacted her life. She shares her journey of discovering VFriends and the connections she has made within the community. Anne also talks about the importance of teaching soft skills to her daughter through the VFriends characters. Additionally, she reflects on her upbringing and the challenges of people-pleasing. In this conversation, Anne Bagg discusses her experience growing up as a caretaker and the impact it had on her identity. She shares how becoming a parent has forced her to learn to take care of herself and grow as an individual. Anne also talks about the connection between V Friends and the neurodivergent community, highlighting the importance of authenticity and self-discovery. She discusses the German education system and its approach to supporting different career paths. Anne emphasizes the role of parents in the V Friends community and how they can use the characters to engage in playful learning with their children.

Takeaways from Anne's Episode:

The VeeFriends community provides a sense of belonging and connection for its members.
VeeFriends cards can be a valuable tool for teaching soft skills and values to children.
The VeeFriends community offers support and friendship, creating a positive and inclusive environment.
Reflecting on one's upbringing and personal growth can lead to a better understanding of oneself and the ability to break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Growing up as a caretaker can shape one's identity and lead to a strong desire to please others.
Becoming a parent can be a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery.
VeeFriends can serve as a bridge between parents and children, facilitating conversations about values and character development.
The German education system offers different paths for students based on their interests and strengths.
The VeeFriends community provides support and inspiration for parents, allowing them to learn from and connect with each other.

Jump to Topics:

00:00 Introduction and Winning a Card

03:07 Discovering the VeeFriends Community

04:53 Connecting with the VFriends Community

07:54 Finding a Sense of Belonging

10:54 Prioritizing VeeFriends over Other Card Games

15:02 Teaching Soft Skills through VeeFriends

22:00 Connecting with VeeFriends Characters

24:00 Growing Up and People-Pleasing

25:42 Growing Up as a Caretaker

27:23 Learning to Take Care of Herself

29:22 Emy's Impact on Personal Growth

30:38 The Development of Parents

35:03 Neurodivergence and ADHD

38:09 The German Education System

46:05 Connecting V Friends with the Neurodivergent Community

50:10 The Role of Parents in the VeeFriends Community

53:13 The Importance of Playful Learning

55:20 Supporting Each Other in the Community

56:00 Closing Remarks

Catch replays of the live discussion on the VeeDads podcast through Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

Visit http://veedadsofficial.com for merch and other insights around all things Dad life.

For business questions and collaboration please email:

Ryan Turner

ryanturner@foodisfuelnyc.com

Broadcast on:: 04 Oct 2024
Audio Format:: other

It just finished a cooking live demo that we've been trying to do every other week. Uh, we're on Tic Tac Live to try and build some interest both for myself and then also for this other chef that we've been kind of working with. So it's been, um, it's been fun. So it's Mondays have been, uh, been pretty packed, which has been, which has been, been nice though. But Ann, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. Yeah, of course. Um, Ann, hold on. First of all, you won an amazing card yesterday. Sure did. My goodness. That was nuts. It was nuts. I mean, was this something that you were even thinking was remotely possible? Did you like, were you, are you hoping for, were you, were you watching intently or did you just get like notified? I, I didn't watch in the mornings, um, because we were out with friends and we had just come back like 30 minutes before that. And I, I didn't enter most of the giveaways just because they were sports cards and I'm not a sports person. Like I just sound like, I want other people to win that and then the back came up and I was like, why not? I might just jump in and then the pack and I'm like, Oh, cool. And I almost wrote in, in the comments, like, Hey, can you could pull another one of one, you know, because you did just did that like a day before or two days before. And then he opens it and he like has this big reaction and I was like, what just happened? Like, I know something like, I thought it was a foil. Like I did, like on the camera, you couldn't quite see I was watching on my phone that, that it was like a one of one and I was like, okay, what's happening here, like that's so cool. One of one charismatic chameleon, right? Mm hmm. It was, it's such a cool card. I know it's probably hard to sit there and be like, I just want to get it and see, are you going to send it in and grade it or are you going to do? I think so. I think I want to have it in my hand first and see like centering and all these stuff. Like the little things I picked up from people like talking about, what it, what makes sense. But I think so. Okay, got it. Have you sent anything in yet? Not myself. Last weekend, I had my first, I bought into the V one box in Texas and pulled the one of one. And so they are sending it in for me right now. That's amazing. But this is a, this is such an interesting thing and the reason why I've reached out to you was it was a few, there's a few reasons. But I've, I've talked with a few people so far and kind of like maybe seven interviews so far of parents, right? Obviously, we are labeled V dads but mainly because there are a lot of dads but it's parents. Like we're all connecting in some way and there is something that we're trying, that I'm trying to kind of keep an eye out for like, what is it like, what is the parallel or what is at least the overlap of most people. Now a lot of these individuals I've talked to, let's consider them like OGs, right? They've been here for a long time. But Ann, you're, you're, you're rather new within the V friends world and the community. Now you correct me if I'm wrong. But I feel like, you know, maybe what two months ago or is it longer than that that you kind of been in and out? Oh, tell me. Yeah. I looked up the other day when I pulled the one on one in the box last week. It was my one month that I joined so I've been like maybe a month and a half in. Be careful because people are going to be very jealous when they hear that, right? I know. So, because I've never pulled, I've opened maybe like 20 boxes myself and decided at some point not to open any other boxes because I was like, it just doesn't feel like it's necessary right now because I was like, I'd rather just chase the cards that I want them and that's been I think working rather well for me at the, at the, at the, at the moment. But many people haven't pulled a one on one and you have now twice. That's pretty amazing. So congratulations on that. Thank you. I feel like it's gotten into a lot of breaks like at some point I got to take a break from it. But I've bought boxes but I haven't opened one yet. Yeah. So this one is the first one that I've bought and I'm dying to open it. It's a dictating. Maybe, maybe this week. It's a dictating, right? I have my fear that once I start, like I bought a couple just to keep and hold because I do see them going up in value and just seeing it as an investment. Sure. But I'm afraid once I open the first one, I can't stop. So I'm like, it is, I remember a great, I was, I've been there since the beginning and that was when you got one for every VF2 that you had and that's where you're getting them. And so it was a mad dash to get them whenever you wanted to. No one really knew what was really going on with them. I didn't go to Vicon last year. And I know that when they came back from Vicon day as in the community people, that's when I think like Josh and Tom really started to kind of like take off and do their thing. And it hasn't even been, well, I guess, yeah, it hasn't even been a year yet since that. But it feels like it's been so long because it's so established, it feels like right now. But I bought into many of Josh's streams. That was like my first spot where I was really trying to kind of find something and never pulled anything on there. So it's okay. We'll get there. And yes, I think that buying more boxes right now, if they're available, it's going to be a good thing. But you know, two months less than that, that's pretty cool. What was the first thing that kind of grabbed your attention? I did see a post on this recently, but I wanted to kind of, you know, talk about like what is it as just an individual? You saw something and you're like, yeah, I got to go look at that. So I did see a little bit of the whole, like, first series of the NFTs coming out when Gary talked about that. Oh, so, okay, so like from the beginning, you were your eyes were on it. Was clearly not in the space, like, learned a bit about NFTs, but just was financially and everything not in the space for that. Then took kind of a break last year from a lot of online stuff. So it didn't follow the whole Lee Friends community or anything. Got it. Just for personal reasons, and then got back to seeing Gary's content this year, and then I jumped on one of his Twitch streams. And they had, he did the podcast with friends, one of the episodes. And they had opened packs over there and it's like, I want to get a pack, and then you can't find them online. They can't just like go on to read friends and buy a pack. Sure, yeah. And I asked somebody in the chat, like, hey, how do you get them? And I think it was either way, high-end, or both of them kind of back and forth told me about fanatics. And so I signed up that day and joined the next day for the first time. Oh, okay. Amazing. And I didn't, like, I had no idea what was going on. Like, I've never been into sports cards, I've never collected anything. Yeah. And I was like, what's happening here? Like, what is this? What am I doing? Like, what buttons am I pushing? And I'm so happy it was a stream where there wasn't as many people. I guess the day was crazy. Like, if I would have come into one of those streams, I don't think I would have maybe stuck around. Because it was just, the chat goes too fast. Well, it means like the basketball, everything too. Like, I'm not a huge basketball fan. I mean, it's interesting, but it definitely, there was a point where I was like, I'm gonna stop watching just because I didn't, it wasn't as interested as much as I was, like, I just don't need this right now, so. Yeah. Yeah. But I went into it on a stream where there wasn't just, there was really just the people who were in the cards community. Cool. So, on the slower side, everybody was super helpful, and I think it really, like, ribs and conmen really sold me on it. Okay. Like, I ask a ton of questions just not knowing what am I doing here or what this is about. And both of them, like, answered all the questions or even I remember, like, conmen was, like, responding to somebody and ribs had seen one of my questions and just put the answer on a sticky note and just held it in the camera to make sure I get my answers, like, my questions answered, and, um, the other moment in that too, um, they had a giveaway, they wanted to, they had planned a giveaway for just a card pack. And instead of giving it away, ribs asked, do you want me to do a giveaway or just give it to Ann? And the entire chat just wrote Ann, and I was just like, I'm tears, who's like, what, what, what did I want? Why are they doing this? What's going on? Like, what is going on? Yeah. And there's just so many. And then I had to, like, email ribs about, hey, I won this because I didn't, I didn't have my information at that point. And then he reached out multiple times, just making sure I have questions. And there was just so much about taking care of the people who are joining the community. If it's from people reaching out on Twitter or be friends itself, and I feel like that was just something that, that just made me feel really good about the community. That wasn't just, like, we're selling some of you something. It was like, we want you to be part of it. This is more than just you buying some cards here. Yeah. Like, this is a community and that just, the cards are part of it, but the bigger part is really the community of it. I was going to ask you, you know, being a little bit more fresh within the community too, let's say that you, you ended up being on another live, like yesterday, and you didn't get into the community. Do you see, like, let's not say it's going to define everything about you right now, obviously, it's not. But let's just say it didn't give you the end and you didn't join the community there. Looking back on it now, what would you have been, like, sad that, that person right in a different reality would have missed out on? Why do you even start? Like, I feel like it has. And again, I want to preface this with the fact that, like, it's not even been two months for you, which is why I am so intrigued by your answer here. So for you to be, you know, you know, somewhat overwhelmed, or at least, you know, making it sound that way, I think it's, I think it's so interesting that you're like, yeah, my gosh, in two months, so much is, you know, I've been able to grab so much value in so many ways. I think for me, it has, like, it has changed my life. Like I'm not going to, like, just a connection I have made. Like I left my job in 2021, and I've been working from home, I'm one of co-workers and stuff, like, so I didn't have a lot of people around me right now. Yeah. Like I have friends and staff, but everybody- Can I just ask before we go there, what were you doing in 2021? I was a preschool teacher first, and then an administrator at the school. Okay, got it. So you left the school, and then you started to work from home. What is it that you're doing right now from home? Multiple things. Like I built up while I was teaching, there's a website called Teachers Pay Teachers that sells teaching materials to others, and it's mostly digital downloads, and I started that on the side in, I think, beginning of 2019, and build it up so far that it replaced my income. And that's when I made the job to, okay, I want to stay home with Emi, and just spend more time with her before she went off to elementary school. Amazing. Well, congratulations on being in that position. That sounds like what a lot of parents would love. So 2021, you left your job as an administrator, and then you started to develop your own, you know, business. I don't know if you've said that exactly. But yeah, it's right to business, and you're starting to sell the online educational tools products, right? That became something that you were able to really just, you know, leave your life off of, which is great. And then what we were just talking about was you finding this community, right? So whatever the community gave you, was it something that you just weren't getting on the other end? Or was this a better community? What would you say? I think there's multiple things to that as part of, like, a lot of my friends are moms, and they are busy. Like, you know that as a dad, as a parent, like, you can't just, like, jump in all the time or have the time, like, because you're busy with the kids, they're working, so you don't get as often one-on-one interaction with adults, and you kind of need that. Sure. And I was never really part of an online community, and just having that, that there's always somebody available if you want to talk, if you want to just share something that happened today, there's always somebody there who you can talk to. And I think that's a really beautiful thing, that whenever you need that personal connection with somebody, even if it's just online, you have that. And that's something that I was missing. Now working from home by myself and not having any coworkers to talk to on a daily basis, now I have that, and I didn't know that that was a possibility to have that in an online community. Yeah. And were you even, like, looking for that kind of thing? No. Yeah. I wasn't on Twitter before. Oh, really? Like, when I, like, I had a Twitter account, and, like, I joined back and forth, and, like, I didn't understand it. It didn't, I felt like, it didn't make sense to me. Like, I just didn't know what to tweet or what to read about, and fanatics kept saying, "Go tweet it out," and I was like, "I don't have Twitter, like, I can't tweet it out." And so, like, I joined Twitter again, and then started, like, following people, and just, like, it developed really quickly over that, because everybody's just so kind to, like, reach out, and just, like, I did not expect any of this. Yeah, for sure. Like, I literally joined fanatics to get a pack of cards to open them and check them out. And, like, we see how that happened. Yeah. But, so, you know, you knew of Gary Vaynerchuk, the web3 space was something you kind of got into. Your eyes had been on, you know, V1 stuff for a long time, and then your eyes kind of came back on it, I would say, it sounds like, you know, right when the bear market somewhat ended, right? Can we say it's over? Or at least it's starting another kind of run right now, which is cool. And then, your, what really pulled you in was just the cards themselves. That was interesting. Here's what got you into, really, the whole X, you know, Twitter space, which is where a lot of the conversation happens within the community, which I'm really surprised with. Sometimes I go into Discord, and I realize, like, oh yeah, I'm not really, like, I don't ever really go to Discord. I'm only on X and, like, kind of talk with people over there. I'm like, am I missing anything over in Discord? And I'm like, I don't think so. I think I'm getting the meat of what I need to right here. And in fact, I think sometimes Discord becomes a little bit more, can I say, toxic, negative, maybe sometimes. And so I'm like, oh yeah, I'm just going to stay over here. But it's amazing to kind of realize how niche of a community this is and how tight-knit everybody is, too. You mentioned reps, you mentioned Connor, and you mentioned two other people before. They kind of pulled you in. But now let's just say that you're on X and you're connecting with other people. Was there anyone else that started to kind of come out of the woodwork for you? There are so many people now that I would have to look back. Sure. How at all? Like, at some point, I started going into other streams and just kind of watching what's happening. Like... Oh, sure. ...through those aspects? Yeah. Got it. Yeah, like, up the top of my head, there's just so many. That's so, yeah. No, there is so many. But you're connecting with these things, right? You're kind of... At this point, it's catching your eye. I mean, obviously, there's a monetary value to this that you're very aware of and kind of a resale value. But if we're talking about the cars themselves and you as an individual, were you starting to connect with the characters in a different way? Was there a message here that you're just connecting with more? I think, in general, like being a teacher and being a mom, soft skills is something that's super important and that I have been working on a lot with the ones that I use. And so, I do connect with that in a big way. I like the art itself, but it speaks to me, I'm a very visual person. And it's something that I can share with M.E. Like, she has been collecting Pokemon cards for a long time and I think that's just another thing which I wasn't into at all and I didn't understand the whole, like, what's about opening those Pokemon cards and now I'm like, "I'm getting it." Yeah. I have a different connection to her now because of it. Like, I get it now, it makes sense to me and now she collects her own B. Friends cards. So we have this together and like, so that was just another moment of like having another hobby to share with your child but like is a really beautiful thing where you're both into it. Like, I'm always looking for things that we can do together because there are certain things she likes to do that I don't like and it's really hard for me to then connect with her and like having to do them. Like, certain ways she likes to play or something but I want to spend time with her. So for like finding something that you and your child, those enjoy, like, it makes it so much better to build that connection with your child and feel really close to each other because you can constantly talk about it with each other. You never feel like drained about like, okay, having to play a certain game for the 100th time when you don't really like it. So for like when you can find something that you both enjoy, I feel like it's just a really beautiful thing. For sure why would Pokémon not be this for you though? It's not. I'm not a Pokémon person. Yes. Well I mean like getting in on the ground floor with some of these things is like I think interesting too but I'm also kind of on the side of understanding like I don't really understand Pokémon or even match the gathering all that much and they just don't interest me but I'm very open to the idea that like YV friends interests me that much more because I've seen the development of it and I have like a connection with people and all that kind of stuff too but why in your mind are you going to prioritize V friends with any more than another card game? I think it's a soft skills, it's the values of like the different characters that I think every parent tries to teach their kid and if I can do that in a playful way, well it's just sitting around like hey you should have these and these values but like teaching her in like through games, through characters like she recognizes the characters now and then sets them all the time so putting those words constantly in him out is just like a so much easier way to understand something as a kid too when you can do something in a playful way. Yeah was there anything that you feel like has been easier to discuss with her because of the characters at all? Not really just because we have always been talking really openly like things like mindset is super important for us like she has kids mindset podcast she's listening to every night and we have multiple books for kids that talk about character development that has always been important for me as a teacher so I wanted to make sure that I give that to her too it's just a not a layer of bringing that into our day-to-day life and just making it it's just normal for us it's common sense but I should like to talk about these things now. Yeah I mean a lot of people I think a lot of people don't really know how to bridge the gap with some of these conversations like I know with me I told you I was going to share that but I know with like my wife and I when we end up communicating you know we I think every every couple has their little tips and what not but a big thing that my wife and I have kind of connected with was just the idea of like being the bigger person and we didn't really have a way of really communicating what that meant or what it was or what you do in a conversation when you're you know you're in a hard spot right you can definitely talk things out or ever but I know be like being the bigger person you have it now like up on our cabinets in the kitchen and it's able to give us a good you know visual reminder of kind of what it is but now our kids are like pointing at it and they're like hey you know what if we get in a little tiff or argument or something like that like they understand it's not just like accepting what someone says to you but I think it's being the bigger person like understanding kind of the roles within that moment which I think is a really big thing. Were you did you mean this sounds so incredibly grounded in the way that you're parenting and the relationship that you have with Emmy right now right I'm saying Emmy right I just wanted to check. Yep. Okay just want to check there. So with you and Emmy it sounds like you have a great relationship is that is that a similar relationship that you've had growing up to or was that different at all? Yes like I had a great upbringing if it's the same I don't know just because like I have siblings and Emmy doesn't but like Emmy and I are just very close also because of how she came up like we had to go through IVF and went ahead to go through a couple of rounds and lost in between so I feel like that just gave me so much more of like holding on and just looking every moment I get with her out of it because I know how valuable it is like that I got lucky that I even have to have her got to have her. There was a moment where the doctor told me like am I not going to happen and so just knowing what a gift she is is like I'm not going to throw that away like I get this one chance it's not there's not going to be another one like I just have this one like one child and it's like I'm I'm not going to waste that and I think that is where we have a really close relationship and we are very very similar it's almost almost scary how much she is like me there's moments where I can tell my husband like she's not going to like this and this because I've listened and he's like going in that and then she does exactly what I told him he's like how did you know I was like because I was on the same basically me yeah like she is definitely a mini me and like a lot of ways and I love that it opens your eyes a little bit too because she's not just my good side she's also my bad side but kind of gives you a mirror of like oh yeah I got to work on that got it. So if you were to describe you and you're describing and you're describing the same person what is that person with these soft skills with these life skills what are the three characters that you guys are connecting with right now like I sometimes when we pull that one of one we know we start connecting with that character right away and so it's always funny but what are those three characters that you're definitely like okay I'm attaching to them. I mean one I recently talked about is the authentic anaconda just because I'm becoming myself again who I truly want to be and just not being afraid to be myself of like not being accepted like just not but not caring as much but yeah not caring as much as other people think and just being myself and I think that that's a big character for me I still like the topic. That was something that was going on when you were more as an administrator? No I felt like in general I felt like it started as a kid I was a very outgoing kid but then I think I changed a little bit when I was five and a half my brother was born with cystic preprosis but at that point also was not very developed there wasn't a lot of things. It wasn't well understood yeah and I was born and raised in Germany and like in East Germany and so the wall had just fallen so that what the hospitals were amazing so my mom spent basically the first year of his life in the hospital with him and my parents being very traditional my dad all of a sudden having to take over parenting when that was just not his forte I think there was a lot of and every time I saw my mom she was crying because she didn't know like the time she would go to the hospital if she would still be if he would still be there. Oh wow. So I think I had to really grow up fast and I totally ended like I don't blame my parents for any of that like I think it's just the situation they did the best they could in the moment yeah and but I like wanted to make sure I'm like when she saw us that she would be happy so I was like became just very I'm also a middle child which is another another story that there was a lot of me wanting to make sure I function really well you know like that I'm good at school and all these things that she doesn't have to worry about me because she's so worried already worrying so much about other things like just making her happy and I think I lost a little bit of myself in that process just trying to people please a little bit too much wait what was the age that you were thinking this what are you going back to now it's five and a half yeah I'm not sure if it's like a hundred percent like that's how I thought when I looked back and I felt like sure I definitely became very independent of like and I still have that does like I don't like asking for help or like even accepting help sometimes is because I should just do by myself I don't want to be a burden to anybody else there's still a little bit of those five-year-old voices inside of me is like and I think those are things I'm slowly working my way out of like it's okay to ask for help because now I'm also an adult asking another adult and that adult has a chance to say no you don't have to help me it's okay to just ask doesn't mean you get that help necessarily like and it being okay to ask for help not being overly independent and not being having to be good at everything so that everybody's happy all the time it's okay to mess up it's okay to not be good at everything and I wasn't good at everything that's not the point but I feel like I picked up a little bit on that when that whole situation went down and just wanting to make sure that everybody's happy around me when I was just a lot of sadness going on you know every time the family talked it was it was everybody was sad that's an interesting I mean especially with the middle child and I could be wildly off here and you might think no more about this tonight because I was also the middle child who I would also describe as needing to have have grown up a lot quicker than I wanted to for a very similar situation where my mother I think was taking on the role of like I think discovering her passion she was like very early on into technology and computers like you know at the forefront of it all and my dad was the one who was like the main caretaker and my dad was a teacher so he you know I think had a very strong understanding of how to take care of kids and he was great and you know I can keep going on about him but yeah like there were a lot of things like I remember it's like having to learn to wash your clothes or how to cook really early like you had to do those things because otherwise you'd have to wait around and you know maybe you're not maybe you're disrupting someone and you didn't want to disrupt anyone that's a maybe now I'm definitely going to project on this but I would say that's a really hard feeling as a young kid to feel as if you now are being a caretaker not just for yourself but you were trying to make sure that you were appeasing someone else or at least not displeasing somebody else that's a hard feeling as a young kid but you do it without even thinking right but you do put a lot of things to the side and that's really hard so you felt as if that was a big part of your identity when you were young and you feel like it's carried through until now yes I think just because when you start being that character who takes care of everybody you always get feedback off is that wanted or not wanted and it's it's always been good for everybody else so the feedback was always good like yeah like if it's like being a complete workaholic and just doing everything for everybody all the time and there's like yeah you get constantly good feedbacks like I'm doing great you know until you realize that like I wore I wore perfectionism as a badge of honor for the longest time it's like I'm so good at like this is amazing until I like had to realize this is not good it's good for everybody around me it's it looks like on the outside sure but it's not good for myself and if it's not good for myself it's actually not good for the people around me because I'm not myself and I'm I can't really truly give the way I could give if I would also take care of myself I think that's something that I had to really learn in the last couple years once I felt like once I quit my job and had more time for myself I started reading a lot listening to podcasts therapy like all these things was really growing myself partly because of that time but also the fact that Emmy is now getting older and there are certain things I want her to learn and to be a certain way of a kind of character and I can't teach her that if I'm not that way I would say like you can't teach what you haven't learned so if I want her to be a certain way I have to learn to be that and show her just telling her like hey being kind is important doesn't do anything if I don't show her on a daily basis what does it actually mean to be kind to yourself to others to the environment whatever it is like I have to show her for her to learn that so there's so many things that I know I want to teach her as a mom that I realize I haven't learned yet and until I learned them I can't show her so she has really made me grow so much more like I think I still believe like I needed her like I needed to have Emmy and that's why she is so much like me because it helps me push me to like change myself get out of my comfort zone it motivates me every day to just like be a little bit better to show up as the best version for her it's amazing as parents how we are still developing so much when as a child you look at your parents and you're like you know who you are you are a parent you know yourself so well and it does make me that much more aware as I get older to realize why my parents were doing what they did in every facet right you know and be like did they have their shit together I was like I knew they didn't but that was just because of like just regular parenting and adult things right but I think I wasn't as aware and nor do I think that children need to be but maybe you and I the way that we maybe grew up and I don't want to speak for you but maybe we were a little bit more aware of it and in that kind of way we wanted to become a people pleaser or at least someone that didn't create so much of the problem which then I think really kind of pence up a lot of that that that challenge and I so I think as we get older we are obviously still developing but we're almost searching for something and I think that's where I'm trying to find you know where all of us as parents where we are overlapping and I almost feel as if we didn't know how to describe ourselves as well as we wanted to and that's something like these characters are almost breaking things down into these smaller definitions and so that we can say okay let me piece character one character two and character seven together and I think that is what I am and let me just kind of look at those for a second and understanding what it means and again I don't know if that's how you would think of it but I think what I'm finding is that people quickly adopt these characters because it's something where it's helping them define themselves right now where I almost feel like it's like Emmy helping you define yourself a little bit right because you're like I definitely connect with her we're the same person but hold on I just want to kind of keep my ear to the door because I want to learn more about myself and see what you're doing that you kind of feel that way and I feel like also with the characters I feel like we all have values we hold but we don't really know how to describe them sometimes or how to actually how do I make sure that they show up in daily life and I feel like having that character to look at and seeing like comics come up with it I feel like it gives you a little bit of an idea again like okay am I really living my values every single day like I say these are my values but am I actually following them or not and if I'm not that's oftentimes an indicator of that's why something isn't working in my life that's why I'm not happy or not satisfied or whatever it is because I'm not sticking with my values I it's not off now for like the characters and the stories and all of that kind of gives you a mind of like this is my north star just having them up like for me like those are the ones that I'm either we're working on my favorites right now the five in the back what do you have that we have the graduate crew uh we have the patient panda we have the is that harpich yeah the harpich uh anaconda and uh and what else oh that one is uh that was shiny carrines can't see it but okay so no no it's all good and then I see the baboon back there too I think which I think is a great card yeah um okay awesome and some of them are just like because that's who I am or I'm working on that because like for me it's a reminder of that just like a visual and my visual person like this is what you're working for every day when I come into my office I'll just like walk and buy like remember to like stick to your values today it's kind of a story it it I mean it's I think they literally are like the angel and the devil on our shoulders in a way right they're there they're a good reminder and I think that's what uh desktop warriors that would Gary was originally going to call these things a long time ago um like have them on their desk to actually use them and I feel that I keep seeing that we have so many parents that are so many people in the community that just end up being parents that are connecting with them in a different way and I almost want to say a different way than some of the younger people that we know in the community I would almost say there I want to I want to ask this question directly because I I feel like it's uh it's it's such a it's like a fun question um but it feels forced a little bit but the idea of like you being as a child who you wish that you could have been walking with like who do you wish was there with you more often you know where as you when you were a kid gosh just probably depends on like what age but probably either way the authentic Anaconda just to stick with being really myself and not changing myself because I thought I had to or was it the outgoing octopus is it sure I'm like um introverted extrovert like I like being like I can do things for myself hours and I'm totally fine with that but I also love partying and like just go out and meet people and like it's the in between and I feel like I've missed a couple of opportunities of being too shy over thinking things too much like connecting with people like jumping into something and saying yes to it I think I would probably say like just going for it like if it's outgoing part of me that I kind of missed out on but I now am like pushing myself more to do yeah I mean again I think the characters and just the I think the community is almost giving us a second chance not as a childhood but to kind of discover ourselves and again the reason we've been talking here but I did I mean I'm very invested in this because it's new to me and I know that you brought this up recently and I'll let you lead how much you want to kind of discuss this but in terms of neuro divergence in terms of ADHD how our brains are working dopamine warrior whatever you want to refer to this as right but in terms of you know how our brains are working sometimes I want to sometimes I almost feel forced to think like are we all in some way are our brains just structured you know different than maybe people outside of the community and are we connecting because I think a lot of people would refer to themselves as that you know introverted extrovert as someone that's searching or someone that needs to change or someone who thought they needed to be and to me that sounds so much of like one how I was as a kid but also just like what defines I think the ADHD mind and I have such a hard time talking about ADHD because one I hate like the word or this like the acronym ADHD what it stands for because it's so much more than what it is it's like when someone asked me about it like well you don't look like you have ADHD and like I know that sounds so you know weak of a thing and like but it's like in my mind I'm like you don't get it how much of an internal battle in your head it is you don't see it like I don't I'm not squirrely I'm not kicking my limbs all over the place but to understand how your how your emotions turn in on themselves and how you know everything is just kind of like it's all inside it's just a mess and it's hard to organize it all and again I you know I want to make sure that this is something where I'm like yeah I think that there could be an overlap here with some kind of people I don't want to I don't I don't want to overplay this but I feel like there is some sort of neurodivergent kind of thing here what would you say to that what do you think about it I definitely see that too in the community like if it's and then no diversion like could be so many things but I do feel a lot of people being very similar in that and I feel like the outgoing like being outgoing and introverted at the same time is I'm introverted if I'm just meeting people that just like I don't know what to talk to you about like but like the community is like we have a common thing in ground and now I'm like I can't stop talking once I find something that I'm into like let's go like I'm all in um I think for me I wasn't diagnosed until about a year and a half ago so very late diagnosed I think like a lot of us um it just wasn't the thing like ADHD just wasn't it was around but nobody really knew about it or what it would look like or that it also could look different I I only found out when we found out about Emmy like my husband has ADHD and he found out if you hear any honking in the background this is just New York going crazy right now so just accept that I don't even know if you can hear it but um he found out about 10 years ago and so oh interesting so he diagnosed with ADHD 10 years ago and then you more recently and you and the parenting itself because how old is Emmy again she's seven she's seven we have we have seven rules um and so parenting has do you feel like parenting has brought this out of you do you think it's kind of un I mean yeah I mean I think my short answer would be like yeah of course it is but I feel like parenting itself has just kind of like dusted off some of this surface and finally like showed what was underneath a little bit right because it's always been there um do you feel like that's that's really what's happening with you definitely part of it but also like you said it's not I thought it usually would be would be a certain thing and it's not so knowing that my husband had it there's a bigger chance of Emmy having it so when we started looking into it and reading things I read all these things and I was like yeah Emmy has that but I have that too and I don't have ADHD so she doesn't have it yeah and it took me a while but you know how the algorithm works like things come up like every article that I read like all of a sudden had ADHD in it I know it's so hard to write it yeah and then until one night I just like burst into tears and just like I don't realize like yeah I have it and then we went on the journey like finding a doctor for and for me and just like getting professionally diagnosed but then like things start clicking I'm like I don't have like I'm not fidgety or something I was like yeah I am no I see it like yeah I don't jump up and down on my seat all the time it's like mentally right oh no I move all day but like it's micro movements like I didn't even I recognize like a couple weeks ago on my car on my steering wheel there's like a um it's silver on on the bottom there's like a it's some black on it it's like almost like rubbed off until I realized I hold my steering wheel and I go like this with my thumb the entire time I rubbed it off it was like never realizing it like there's just I do my stimming a little bit in a way yeah yeah and even these I mean like even saying stimming and stuff like that like there's a there's the whole thing of like I was diagnosed with this I feel like it's so backwards and actually you know what I'd love to bring this up with you whenever someone asked me about like the you know United States education system always like it's broken it's ridiculous like kids are kind of put in these boxes and then they don't know what they want to do and like I'm projecting on it because I'm like I feel like it failed me in a lot of ways right um and you know tell me from wrong the German education system as much as I know and I call me naive that's the case that they do um I was gonna say a good job that's not what I want to say I want to say um that they that they look ahead at kind of where children may or may not be going with certain career paths um where they will go either more of an academic route at some point or they're gonna go more of like a vortex kind of route um right and that's and they they kind of take you and they put you on that but they put it on you pretty early right is can you can you elaborate on that because I feel like I've been saying that a couple times now I don't know if it's right it's definitely it's it's different in the fact that so on you have elementary school and then after elementary school you usually see where the kid is at another elementary school is depending on the state you were in in Germany it could be ending at fourth grade fifth grade sometimes and then you either way go to like a higher school which would be here middle school and high school or technically just middle school until 10th grade so I went to the higher school where you go until 12th grade and then go to college or you go to the other school where it's until 10th grade and if you then feel like you okay then you can move up to the other one to go 12th or oh so you still have a choice like they're not telling you can go there no okay um but if you do 10th grade you can't technically go to university then but we have a lot of um what do you call them emprepenter chips sure like this is what but most people do so you go and work in a business while also going to school so the business pays for the school on the side so you work in a business get the experience and have a like educational part together with it like usually goes through years and at the end you have an education do you do you feel like that's a smarter way to do it especially with like a more neurodivergent brain and being like look if we just accept the fact like it's not right or wrong it's just where we're going to end up going most of the time where interests lie right it doesn't mean that if you don't go the academic route and you go I keep saying the Botec route what was the what was the other route but besides that academic side um apprenticeships okay so like the apprenticeship side um if you go that direction it it doesn't mean that you've done something wrong it just means that you're connecting more in a different way with how you might end up doing something right and just I feel like if that was talked about more and maybe it's just because like the whole college system here the higher education system I feel like you're you feel forced to go there or else you're kind of fail in life I just always wish from a neurodivergent standpoint when I look back I'm like I wish someone had to wear with all to be able to help me understand that like you don't have to do that you can go the entrepreneur out or whatever else it's going to be and maybe like if someone's parents do that it's a little bit easier you kind of have this built-in apprenticeship but I always feel like that the way that the German education system kind of ran I was like it gives you a little bit more direction and support in terms of how you do it but you also worked in the education system here do you feel like the education system is there to support kind of these different brains and I feel like it's not even the even in Germany I don't think they are supporting the brains as much okay I feel like I like that in Germany you have the different options yeah but even university I feel like works different in in in Germany like we have a lot of our core classes that you still have to take university are just part of school so by the time you're done with like 12th grade and you go to college you're very specific what you're doing you don't do English and math classes anymore like you do have to do here like it's very specific to your what you want to do so I feel like in a diversion brain can do either and work well because you automatically do something you really want to do sure um but I feel like both systems are not really serving children like they should think that's just changing like being a teacher myself like having a kid now too like it's just the individual you can't individualize as much as you want to as a teacher you have 20 kids like in elementary school even more sometimes you can't it doesn't matter how much you want it you can't do one-on-one all the time it's just not possible you kind of try to teach to the middle and the people who are ahead don't get more than they actually need and the people who are behind will always be behind it's just that's the reality of it it doesn't matter how good of a teacher you are you only have so many hours in a day and so many you're one person that's it yeah now for like we go back and forth of wanting to homeschool Emmy or not and it's interesting because shouldn't we constantly have like I'm for it my husband is not because he had a really good relate like he had a really good relationship with school and I didn't hate like I was okay but I felt like I was overlooked if you're not like somebody super special in school then you're just like here's another number sure and I would I would say too like a lot of these people as we're describing ourselves you don't really know how to speak up you don't know to speak up or what to speak up to so it becomes really hard but okay I think this is where I would love to kind of get to you how how do we take be friends and because I saw this beautiful minis board that you ended up making and then I think when I looked at it I looked at I guess your website and I was like oh yeah what a great fit that is she did an amazing job and she knows what she's doing how do we take be friends and support this nor divergent ADHD community and then I guess the answer to the question should be like how we just help kids but we know that it's helping parents in a certain way right we're connecting a certain way it's helping us parents breaking things down that we can kind of approach our kids with a different kind of message here but how can how can be friends itself kind of be you know let's kind of keep the gamified kind of thing in there you being a teacher how do we bring those things together what is the best way that you can think of I think the first part we are what you're doing is us as a Joel's learning it so we are able to teach the kids like if we can live it in front of them on a daily basis that's when we really going to reach them I'm not quite sure how to get it into kids's hand I feel like right now it's a lot of collectible and a lot of on the adult side even though it was kind of made for kids I hope it's moving into the direction I hope that at some point maybe I think I talked with somebody else online the other day about maybe at some point there's a series three that is more affordable so we get more people in it becomes more like Pokemon because right now like that's not affordable for parents to buy a patch truck like it's just not a four dollar pack is not yeah it's just and so that and I feel like the community too I don't think it's just going to be Gary and we friends it's people seeing this seeing this is needed in the world and coming up with their own little ideas if it's with three friends or without and bringing that into their life I feel like it's just more of a it gives us a blueprint of like here things you can do in a playful or fun or collectible way to bring these soft skills back into the world they are there we just have to highlight them hmm and I think that's exactly where I end up thinking if you removed our community and I think in particularly you removed the parents from this community big statement I think that be friends could fail I think that the parents are honestly a bridge for all of this and not just a financial bridge but I think that we have a lot of parents that are are using these characters in this IP as a way to understand themselves better to then become better parent and then help their kids understand how to take all this into the world but I don't but I feel that the characters on their own they're cute and kids will connect with that for sure but it's going to take a while I think for these kids to understand what the characters are saying and I think that if we remove the parents let's say this it's going to moon bug it's doing the whole blippy thing the you know the youtube three minutes short whatever it's going to be I honestly feel that it's not going to be as powerful of a message if we remove the parents and by that I mean like setting our kids up in front of an ipad letting them watch it I don't think it's going to work and I think a lot of parents obviously you're like I don't want to do that I want to be involved my kids shouldn't watch youtube by themselves just you know show after show after show but I think that it's something here where the parents are the the magnet for a lot of this and I think that's kind of where I'm finding that overlap because my kids don't care at all about what these characters mean they care about the blue character over there or the one with the sword or the one that's over there that looks really cute like a bear it's like great but that's not what these are about which is something that I'm like I'm just so interested in and I feel like you can definitely connect with that too so I feel like that they give you an in to talking about these things with your kids but it's just me bringing up a random word like authenticity or something like Emi's like my talking about like me talking about like this is the character let's look at some comics from it or like what do you think it could be or should we make our own comics or for like it gives you an in to talk about these different skills with your kid in a playful way that's how we can kind of connect as adults and kids with each other like was there anything else that did that was there was there was there i mean like did sesame street do you like there's Oscar the grouch right there was like I don't know there's there's kindness talked about but it didn't feel it didn't hit the same I don't feel like because of like it was a lot more for kids I think it's actually good that it's starting with the adults that we are so in it like now that it moves more into the kids like we're going to push more for them to also like be into it it's kind of like bluey if you watch Louie are you kidding me yeah i was seven year old like it works for both sides it works for adults and for kids like you know what i didn't think about that parallel that's a really good parallel actually like i love watching like we love as a family watching Louie my husband and i wouldn't want to even without any like it's just a fun show leave the room it just it just stays on yeah and i feel like we friends can just kind of the same that it's not just geared towards kids or just towards parents it's like something that bells can enjoy together and have something to talk about yeah and i think that's something building the bridge in that moment yeah definitely something to keep exploring and i think that's what i continue doing and i think you use these conversations to reinforce that idea hopefully without trying to have someone just agree with me because i think we all get that and i think that that's kind of what's happening what i want to be respectful of your time uh and uh just thank you for being here um Emmy's favorite character is it authentic anaconda no not for her that's mine and then that's not not my favorite i feel like it's just one of them like i need writing on my life i don't her switches it goes back and forth like sometimes it's the wizard sometimes it's the peacock and switches for her still who do you it might be because she needs different things in that moment but it's not that sometimes we can't pick a certain character because we're working on so many things or like we connect with that character in that moment because of something oh for sure i mean i know i connect with the gnome a lot because i i look at the gnome as adhd and i look at the troll as executive functioning and so those two those those two things together um you know i think i've mentioned that before it's not like a secret but that's how i look at it and i look at the the like the gnome as the ceo with all the ideas that just can't seem to get their stuff together it's just that unhinged like individual but that's like very successful but isn't successful as they could be because no one's helping them in the back end they're not going to if they don't ask for help right so the trolls they're kind of like tidied up right i definitely love that whole idea of those two that's why i've always connected and i've created that in my own head right it's my own story um who do you who do you wish at least for the next for the next three months do you wish that emmy had with her oh gosh i don't think there is one character i i think i really want her to be with all of them just to be exposed to as many different things as possible i hear you that's what i've been doing for the last year year and a half to just try out as many things as possible to see what you still need in your life and what do you want to do with your life so the more she explores in different ways i feel like the happier it makes me so just that she finds what she likes and what she doesn't like so i don't think it's one i think she needs them all uh i love that answer you sound like an incredibly grounded individual an incredibly grounded parent you sound very self-aware and self-assured that you like know yourself right now i know that authenticity is a big thing for you at the moment and do you sound incredibly authentic and i hope that you know that and i hope that it's not something that you think that you have to keep tracing because at least from where i sit you sound like an amazing parent just a person all together and uh my goodness only two months less than two months you're making a name for yourself in the community so i want to just say welcome um if no one has formally done that uh like this but yeah i think it's only gonna go up from here so congratulations on all your big wins lately done so well thank you i feel like it's really incredible all the things you are sharing as a parent especially in the community if it's the notes you are constantly like writing in the lunch boxes never like i think multiple people have commented that they're not just for your daughter they're also for us we read them too they're also our lunch box notes um or if it's the cookbook you just put out and there's just like so many things i feel like parents put out in this community that just helps each other because we only have a limited view or limited skills i feel like and having all these other parents kind of helps you fill in those gaps that you have as a parent sure kind of tap into different people now but like i really appreciate especially like nutrition and food is something that we struggle with sometimes and our household so like having somebody that i can get ideas from but like it's really valuable for me so i really thank you for that i'm so glad that we're all together doing that and it's gonna i think even grow from there are you gonna go to vcon yes i'm so glad so i'll see the end wait where i'm i'm talking to you from where again uh seattle area or your uh oh seattle nice my uh we have family out there my my my cousin was the mascot for the mariners for years really like one there's like three guys who like where the costume over there but he he worked his way from being a mascot and he now works in the front office so that's a pretty cool thing he has his own story that goes on there but yeah i i have definitely have connections to the seattle area um great spot but thank you so much for taking a west coast time and uh making it work awesome yeah all right and well thank you so much and uh we're we're gonna connect soon so uh yes just let's stay in touch okay awesome all right take care bye see ya bye