(dramatic music) Sex, should you be having it before marriage? If so, how much of it should you be having before marriage? And if you've had it before marriage and you now regret it, what should you do about that? These are hard-hitting questions that everybody out there I know you're dealing with, so we brought on Naftali today. So he can answer those for you because his answers blew me away. I can't wait to get in this conversation. Naftali, thank you for being here. - First question that I have for both of you gentlemen, I want this to be hot, authenticity. What is authenticity, does it matter and who cares? - Authenticity is being able to, when you're really attracted to her, you find her gorgeous and she makes you wanna hide. You whisper in your ear, all the things you wanna do to her in the bathroom. So, this is for men, particularly, because it's hard for them to present that aspect of themselves due to a lot of shame that's around it. And that typically keeps men fake, especially in today's society. So, that's the undignified, undignification of vulnerability, is that with authenticity comes vulnerability, it's hard to dignify. 'Cause authenticity is also, hey, when you gave that guy a hug, it pissed me the f*** off. That's authentic. What's inauthentic is, hmm. - He's a cool dude. - How did you guys meet? See, that's a bunch of bullshit. So, there's an aspect of authenticity that isn't dignifiable. It's real. It's never been seen. It's the aspects of yourself that you keep in the shadows that you reject yourself. And this beginning of that, well, sometimes it looks like, are you good? And that's when you know you're on something, right? Is that you're presenting something that even to yourself you're trying to get familiar with. That's authenticity. It's what we are here to discover. It is what meets people's deepest needs and what allows us to be fulfilled ourselves. - Are you always dishonest? - Am I always dishonest? - Yeah. - I try to be. And I think that's the most honest answer I can give you. I really try to be. I catch myself, you know, even if I do meet a girl I'm very attracted to. And look, I have a very sexual nature. And I think for most men, it's typically the thing they hide with the women they like 'cause she's for the emotional connection, of course. - Well, we're told we're not supposed to have that. Sometimes we have people like that. (laughing) - Like me, I have five kids, sir. - Well, I was confused. What do you mean by people like that? - Well, actually, when it comes to dating practices, we're often taught that there's supposed to be a layer of questions and behavior just supposed to go through. Kind of like a mating dance. - Yeah. - Unnecessarily performance. You're supposed to go through questions. You're supposed to go through behaviors. You're supposed to go through a pattern to learn more about the person. - Compatibility testing is what you're talking about. - Exactly, compatibility testing. So where in your compatibility testing, Adam, are you supposed to whisper what in her ear? - If you want to be specific, you probably would believe it out, but. (laughing) - So let's figure that one out. Here's a problem I have with the authenticity conversation. There's a lot of times men here, you know, just be yourself. And I think that's the most disastrous advice. - You don't know who you are. - Well, but I think the most disastrous advice you can give to men is just be yourself. Because men will try to go out and figure out who they are and try to be that. But what we get is the Captain Sweatpants version of them, where they show up with Cheeto stains on their shirt. - Captain Sweatpants. - Captain Sweatpants, right. But so they show up on dates like, well, this is what I'm gonna do to you in the bathroom and it's the first date and it's five minutes in. And they have the conversations. - Well, because they watch the video on YouTube about a guy that they admire. So they're not really connecting to what I'm trying to present here, which is how you express yourself in the deepest way possible in the most intimate way possible. That's vulnerability, you know? And that's why I made a very big, I mean, a very big divide, which is saying it's hard to dignify at first. And then eventually it becomes the thing that you wish to present to the person you love opposed to hiding it. - Now, here we're getting into territory that I like. So it's not just presenting the real version of you. It's presenting the best version of that by becoming the best version. - Yeah, well, and that's the whole thing. At the beginning, it's foggy. Because your authentic behavior is typically with the people you don't care about. And in dating, this is something that people are not taking accountability for. Which is the people you love get less than the people you in a bathroom. Of course, I'm saying this because we're in a very promiscuous society. So that's probably far more likely, especially if you've been to college. That's definitely part of the behavior there. I can't stand that. That right there is a lie. It's an embodiment of a lie because it creates people who live in these categorizations of what they think they need. So they have what their ego projects to them, which is, oh, she's the mother. She can't do that. You wait until date five. But you're the most honest with people you don't care about. Meaning, your actions are the most pure. And the love does not go for the people that you actually put a ring on. It goes to those that you never really cared about, that you never gave a title that you were the most yourself with. - So what this comes down to right here, and you've nailed it, this is attachment. This is exactly what I teach about attachment because as they get closer into the relationship, their heart becomes more invested. And as their fear goes up 'cause they don't know how to maintain that relationship except by being secretive and hiding. They don't know how to present, hey, lady, I wanna do this to you in this time at this-- - Well, this is a good thing to have because for everybody that's listening, this is how you create long-lasting passionate love. And they often think it's like, you know you have your values, she keeps shebot, you do too, you know, like you both do your things. It's like, that's what brings people together. And I think that's very important. You're providing that specific detail, which is you are presenting this because these are the deep needs that keep you bonding with somebody opposed to being attached to them going on what the fuck's happening. Why do I, I'm just gonna avoid this person or I'm just gonna attach them. - Now, this is the men, the male version of this conversation, right? Show up as your best self, don't show up as Captain Sweatpants. Where do you think women are not showing up authentically? Because so many times today, and I hate this, it bothers the crap out of me, you know, women to show up on a date as your best self or to show up the way you feel majestic, like a unicorn, your princess, queen self, is I'm going to dress all the way down to this level, or I'm going to not wear these things, or I'm going to dress how I feel, and what that's led to is a society many times of women who are not actually showing the best version that's going to get them a husband, and they still want a husband, but now they think that a husband is going to have to accept the worst version of herself, and that's the most comfortable version of herself. - Well, that right there is the most arrogant, egotistical paradigm pitched to women, which is don't put any effort or dress to the fucking teeth. Again, that's the whole inauthentic, performative. It keeps and reinforces the belief of you're not enough for the things you desire. - So to dressing, I want to get your take on this, because you're very, you could be very disagreeable, which is wonderful, I love this. - Well, that's why we're here, I think we're here. - So what do you think of this argument about modesty? Modesty as an idea that women could choose to embody in our society. Do you think that there is a reason women should embrace a concept of modesty for self, or for others, or for relationships? Where does modesty come in in your worldview? - Well, I think there's a few things. Few angles you can take this on. You can take this on like the evolutionarily, evolutionary psychology side of things, which is modesty is typically show selectivity, right? But as human beings, the way that that's manifested is very different. I think that women have a particular relationship with their body that deeply challenges them. That is part of understanding yourself as a woman. Most women are not taught what they are, who they are, and what their purpose is. And they are left confused to their own vices, given narratives by men that don't give a shit about them. And often the men that hide are the ones that take those narratives and go, it's not a problem. When they fundamentally don't even believe it themselves. So modesty really does challenge women. And I'm not trying to say this because it's not going to, it will, even when this is presented. There's modesty and behavior, and then there's modesty in the way that you dress. Now, when a woman really knows who she is, and what she represents in relationship to her body, she's going to put out what she believes is most true about herself. Because if you want to get free on more attention, just dress half-naked, you will get negative attention and positive attention. So there's an aspect of you that wants attention. What about you as you are, without stripping half-naked, can get that kind of attention? Now your challenge. - Let me challenge you this way. Half the time that somebody shows up and says, the thing you said at the beginning of this podcast is a man, what you're going to do with the bathroom is a lie. So most of the time, it's a lie because most of the time, they don't really know how to do that. Number one. Number two is because they don't. Because what they do is they typically watch a bunch of porn, and this is what they think men are supposed to do. And when it comes time to perform, and it comes time to connect, they're not man enough. Not in the sense of sexual performance, but in the sense of the emotional attachment that they're offering. So everybody is actually trying to commit and pitch their best, what they call the best self, that's not the best self, they're the most provocative self. - Wars, Captain Cheetos? - Captain Sweatpants. - Pat Captain Sweatpants. - Pat Captain Cheetos too, it's not bad. - Yeah, yeah. - So what we're trying to do is we have lost as a society, we have lost our understanding of context. We've lost our understanding of nuance. Because what happens is that we show up and we just try to throw the most provocative curveball. Yes, if you absolutely show most of your butt, most guys will look at you, not because necessarily you're the most attractive, but because you have the shortest, the biggest, the smallest, that's what we're looking for. So if you want to show up in a way that's actually authentic, you have to understand what is the nuance that you offer, the value that you offer in this particular interaction. Are you truly like that, that you can go and do that to her in the bathroom? Then you're special. - That's the whole point. - Which is, in my own life, I could speak from experience, and also I could speak in relationship to people who've watched "Decadeive Porn." If you've watched "Decades of Porn," your porn brain in relationship to what you can express sexually is completely disconnected. Because you've experienced sexual voyeurism, meaning you've explored the capacity of your own curious interests with zero actions. So you're not integrated by default. So there's a whole integration process by which you actually get to that point. I was somebody who was seriously traumatized by porn. That was my life. It was brothers, all boys, school, and then women on a screen. Until you grew old and get older, and you're like, wait, there they are. The objects that I can conquer. And experience that with. And then you have to integrate it past that point to where eventually you're like, no, the thing you connect with. And then you go porn brain or porn you, whatever that is, the aspect of you that's deeply sexual and curious, you're already going to be more prone to hide. So the nuance here is that people begin to understand that you wanna create something that's real, start realizing how real your sexual expression is. Start taking more accountability of the porn you watch. And this was something I spoke about with our friend. Which was, it says a lot about you and what you're really looking for. And then once you start to bring that into the real world, you're gonna realize that you can't. So for anybody that wants to try doing that, they can't. - Well, you know why? Because it's not that simple, exactly. And you know, as a married man with five children or whatever the heck you have that's a lot of children, you understand that sexuality is not that simple, right? So one of the things that has happened is that so many people are very confused and they're very confused about their identity, they're very confused about how things are supposed to really work because they've been in many ways lied to by things like pornography, which is, guess what? A product by things like movies. 'Cause guess what? They're a product by things like social media 'cause that's also a product. And they kind of have this layer of disintegrated products creating their personality. But in reality, they don't understand the mechanisms behind this. So one of the things that Adam actually specifically talks a lot about is the experience in the bedroom, but the connection between the experience in the bedroom and things that connect people together through attachment, through love, through these experiences. - I was just gonna say the thing you guys have both missed so far, that I was getting ready to jump down your throat about was you're gonna go on a date, you're gonna tell this girl, your real self is telling her the things you wanna do in the bathroom, but that's really not even a man's real self. - You're presenting it. This is how you present something that is true about you. It is not all of you. It's the point of a sphere more than a checklist. You wanna see if they speak the same language and then you carry on to the next point of presence, of conversation with the person. - But to this point, right? And exactly, a man has to have so much more than that. You also, as a man, need to be able to go on that date and express to that woman, the future you're going to build together. - There he goes. Now there's integration between values and sexual expression. You're no longer existing as a porn bot or an idealistic offer that nobody can refuse. - So let's dive into this. What, I'm gonna give this question, then give you the context. I'm gonna turn it over to you 'cause I'm gonna dig hard on you on this one. And Andre, I'm gonna dig on you this one as well. Sex in a man's life, okay? I look at guys out there, fresh and fit and rotate. They're like, sex is everything. You have to be pounded at 18 times a day with 50 different women, right? Sex is held up-- - Great in person. - Yeah, thank you. - That was really good. - Thank you, it was compelling. I almost lost all my hair just to look like all of them in that moment. Sex is held up as the absolute good in our society. An absence of sex is held up as the absolute evil in our society, right? Sexual pleasure is itself a moral creation and a moral paradigm that we have to aspire to in our society. It's weird and crazy. That being said, the idea that man has to engage in continuous sex and have sexual pleasure as the primary vehicle of his being, that has become everything today, which is why porn is so constant. What is the role of sex in a healthy man's life? And how does he choose to engage in sexual connection? Or perhaps pass it up? What do you think? - Wow, well, I mean, all of these things are even in relationship to modesty. That's interesting you mentioned this. Which is that whole idea is how you stay a juvenile rat who never understands anything about themselves, including their sexual expression and what lies beneath it. Sex nowadays is seen as the penetrative act, right? Or the porn presentation. Sex is not void of emotions. A man's relationship with sex is one that drives him and it's one that will fuel him, it's one that will inspire him, and it's one that will make him a great man. So now you take the porn world, which is you just kind of spiral into this juvenile representation of sex, which it isn't at all, by the way, 'cause that's not at all what it is, because it's a cons game. A bunch of those guys run a cons game presented to teenagers who all watch porn about what they can get if they were just man enough. When all of that is a fundamental lie that disconnects them from their humanity and the worst part is they never actually get to experience good sex. - Do you know that this is baked in our neurology? For the first five months of a relationship, a man can get novelty dopamine? Hey, that's new, you're new, those are new, and acts, right, actions. Okay, this new behavior is fun, right? And then to continue past that, you either need to be building oxytocin bonding, which will then actually make your sex drive as a man singular to that woman. You will be attracted to her instead of to those. It will be not dopamine, but oxytocin, which actually drives a stronger erection, a more lasting one, a longer lasting one, better orgasms, better everything for the man. He experiences overwhelming sexual pleasure more than the dopamine can give him, but you have to initiate oxytocin bonding. Otherwise, you're perpetually on this dopamine cycle than what do you do? Well, new actions, new partners, new toys, new on your way. - Do you realize that there's a disconnect from intimacy? - You go insane, and the woman, her sex drive falls off a cliff at 12 months if the man at five to seven months has not properly oxytocin bonded. So it is built in her to reject you if you don't properly bond to her, which is why those porn brains, the dopamine cortisol brains, they come in, she will reject you at 12 months and you will have erectile dysfunction. - Yeah, that's also another thing that probably most of those high quote value men are not telling you is that they have intimacy disorders and have an inability to bond, and they can only stand erect with things that they have no emotions for. So they've fallen in love with a projection of women and actually can't connect with them. - Yes, men who live like and rotate have to live like and rotate because they cannot maintain an erection with one woman that they love. - Doesn't work 'cause the second there's emotions, it falls off because their relationship with that is only fear, and fear in the bedroom don't really go really well, so. - Andre, over to you. - So I gotta point out one thing. Everything that we consume online, 90% of things we consume offline have to do with the satisfaction of a particular body need, right? So we need either sexual pleasure, wealth, food, you know, various things that people, you know, is religious people call sin, right? Physical sins in order to define ourselves. So most men cannot imagine themselves existing without a desire for riches, a desire for flesh, a desire for food, desire for power, right, and there's nothing left in between those desires that actually allows them to explore themselves. So it is a novel way, and they say that the new is the well-forgotten old. There's a novel way of doing things where actually now there's groups of people that say, you know what, I'm gonna find myself excluding all those things where I'm actually not gonna start the conversation on the first date with telling her what I'm gonna do during the bedroom. I'm not gonna start the first date with telling her about all this stuff. It's part of listening. You present something that you know is there that you're afraid to present. And what are you trying to show with that? So, you know, I'm kinda curious. It's not a dominance, that's the whole thing that I think is very important to provide nuance to that. I'm happy that we started it off hot, high, and heavy. Indeed. And I think that you're providing a very important point for people to understand here, which is you have the need for recognition, approval, power and significance. Those are basal needs that need to be integrated because whether or not you can give them up, you can't. It's like saying that your penis doesn't exist. It does. Whether or not you repress it on a nervous system level or that you don't confront the emotions behind it or the needs that you have, it needs to be met. Shining a light on these things. Well, that's right away, here's the interesting point. You're presenting that not as an act of dominance or for some form of seduction. You're presenting it because it's the most true thing that you felt and experienced at the beginning of the date that you don't usually express because you find you're trapped in. How do you know that thing is true? Just 'cause it's powerful, does make something true. I don't think it's powerful. It can blow up in your face. So I think it's hard to dignify. I don't think it's an act of power. And this is something for women, especially if they're not naive. They can pick up on it and it'll kinda do this. Because who wants to be, there's a dominant man and there's an overbearing one. And there's a very, very big difference. One could walk away. One is trying to use something to keep you in the confinement of what they've created. It's a trap. So when you do present something like that, it's not that you're trying to live in what you call denial of flesh, which is something I fundamentally disagree with on a very, very, very, very big level. And I don't think that there goes any virtue in people presenting a reality to where they put it aside for a little bit to come back to it because you're going to have to come back to it. So the whole point is, is that from the beginning of the date to the end and then into the next series of dates for the rest of your life, series of dates for the rest of your life, you are starting the pace off by which you are presenting what is something that is true between each other. - So it's been from marriage, yes or no? - Sex before marriage? - Yes. - Marriage now? - Absolutely. And the reason why I say that is because I do believe there's a lot of idealism behind that. And I think that creates people who are unaware of how sexually traumatized they are. There's Jennifer Lopez on a billboard every right turn you make as a six year old. If you're not completely sheltered and thrown under the table of society, you've more than likely been exposed to some form of pornography in relationship to that, which is going to create kind of like a sexual trauma and over development of that at a very early age without any understanding of it. And that could make a lot of scared people, you know, and especially in relationship to sex. Now, in an ideal, the ideal is sex and marriage are the same thing. And I don't believe that most people's marriages are actually in protection of sex and children. I think that most people's marriages are convenient. I think that most people's marriages, if challenged, weren't even with the person they want to marry. So right now, the term marriage, my understanding of it from a biblical level is something that I totally believe to be bounded in sex. That's no longer part of marriage nowadays. So that's why I'm saying that. - Hey, Adam, sex before marriage? - Marriage today is not real marriage. - Oh, well. Marriage. - What is real marriage? What should real marriage be like then? - By your joint definition. - Real marriage is a unification of two people, but also their larger systems for a purpose, which usually is building a family or supporting a cause or causing building growth, something in alignment with a joint purpose. Marriage has to have a purpose beyond we have good feelings and we will continue until one of us dies or doesn't want to do this anymore. It has to or it doesn't exist. So purposeless marriage is pointless marriage. It's not even real marriage. Now, marriage with a purpose, sex before that, you can't. You have to have purpose, unified purpose. Otherwise, you are joining together with somebody randomly and then banging your genitals together so that you overwhelmingly flood with brain chemicals that will make you stupid and then you don't have the compatibility conversations you need to and it leads to disaster and heartbreak, which is why 98% of relationships break up now. So if you have sex before marriage, that is going to lead to endless promiscuity and brokenness and misery, which is why all of the couples who come into me are in broken marriages and all of the singles who come into me say, I can't find somebody and nothing's working. I've had sex with everybody I can find and I haven't got married yet. You have to build a marriage with purpose. - I agree and disagree. The part I do agree with, which is if you're promiscuous before a marriage, you're most likely going to be promiscuous in the marriage if you haven't integrated it, AKA bringing the ape into the date. You lose the ability to wait till marriage when you're not that guy. And I know that's difficult for a lot of people to understand. I'm not that guy. - You're not going to wait? - I know myself. I'm not going to make the best decision with a person that I believe I'm going to marry, absolutely. Now, there's a certain point by which there is the ideal that has also been weaponized and has actually, I mean this, given power to women that men are willing to accept against their own needs that does not help the relationship. Like there's a lot of men that go in, let's wait till marriage and they date for six years and she hasn't touched his penis, right? - But they get married. - And they get divorced three weeks later, he knows this. Because there's an aspect of themselves that they're not living with, honestly. So marriage, and this is what I really definitely do agree with, is that there needs to be a purpose behind it. That the dangers of a society that doesn't have two people understand the consequences of that decision, and that by the way, it might not be forever, it might not, but you're going to be giving it the best that you can, considering that you're going to be placing children, sex and connection in a confinement that's actually protected, not just left to, I don't want to do this anymore. Because that's very dangerous. And I think that there's like an overlying narcissistic relationship with marriage now, which is about you, it's not. - Men who are ready for real marriage that's going to last, they want to wait for sex in marriage. They want to wait, but they also want marriage to happen quick. - Bingo, right. - Thank you so much. Some marriage needs to happen quick if you are going to wait before marriage, or if you're going to wait until marriage. - For context, because you and I haven't talked about this before. - Which means you better be a good damn good data. - That's right. - You got to be an excellent data, you got to be vulnerable, you got to be integrated, you got to know what you like, how you like it, you got to talk about it, and then hey, when things start getting spicy, whistle up a small little (beep) ceremony, throw her on the couch and wrap it up. The couch, I don't know where. - So my wife and I met, both of our best friends were dating. They introduced us, and we started dating. Two weeks later, I said, you're the woman, I want to marry, let's get married, and so you are going to marry me, and she said, "Okay, yes sir." - You are going to marry me. - And we didn't get married on the spot, but we all sit in wait eight years, we got engaged, and we went 10 and a half months from then, so we got married on the 11 month mark. - Well, you got engaged. - Yeah, we got engaged, and that was it. - Any sex during the engagement? - No. - No? - We got engaged for six months? - No. - You might have been punching holes in the drawing wall. - We got, so it was, we met, two weeks later, got engaged, and we were engaged for 10 and a half months, and we got married on the 11 month mark. - Beautiful. - So it was a wonderful wedding night, I will say, and I have five kids, so it's definitely sex happening now, but did we talk about sex? Absolutely. Did we want to have sex before? Absolutely. Did we? No, because we said, let's make sure, if we're going to set this up, we're getting married for 90 years of our life, right? We're having kids, we're having grandkids, we're having everything, so let's do this right, and let's hold off on sex for a small amount of time, so that we can have the right life and make sure this works. You have both said, we're going to have a special experience. You know what, life is short. You know, I can tell you that, worked with it, I worked with a lot of people, I worked with a lot of people, I had worked with people, I had no money, and then made money, and there's only several things that really make things worthwhile, and they're all in the category of experiences. It is all about making things special, right? And essence, what you're talking about is you walk into a relationship, and it's not authentic, and it's not integrated, you're not vulnerable, it's boring, right? It's important, it's easy, because it's safe, and it's boring, it's convenient. What you guys did in your marriage is you made things interesting. You know, I don't even disagree with your first initial statement, the hot and heavy one, if you just come in and whisper, you know, all the things in here, why? Because you're actually saying, I'm going to knock down the wall, and I'm going to make this special. If anything, at least you would remember this, right? Let's knock off the games, take away the safe, and let's make this authentic and real. But in reality, when you have this commitment, and you say, you know what, I'm going to play your game. If you're a woman, I'm going to make you wait, you're going to make me wait. You know, maybe we're going to do stuff in a video, maybe we won't, that's up between the couple, but it's going to be special. - Let me stop here right there, and I think you were about to jump in on it. You make me wait, is that what? - Make me wait, those things to indicate any guy that agrees to wait to something he doesn't agree to, she will not respect that man. And this has nothing to do with so much like, I am the authority, listen to me, I know everything. There's a certain point where you guys are congregating on the core values of wait till marriage. It's a communal agreement, and it's one that he leads. Now, that's kind of where, you know, you start to hide behind your values, you use your values as a sword, not as the thing they're meant to be, which is something you connect to. Most people do weaponize that, they do weaponize a sex before marriage. And if you ask them the relationship with porn, it's chronic, and if you ask the women their relationship with flirting with men endlessly, without even delivering on what they're flirting with, it's endless. So what you're creating is narcissists on the back end with unfulfilling sex, because they're not showing up with what they really want to meet. They just found other ways to meet their needs in the slightest way if possible. So that's why I always argue, hey, you know, get married young, get married quick, spend your whole life identifying what you connect to and challenge it at a young age. But instead, you have common core, high school, whatever the fuck that is, I went to home school. That's probably why I learned a few things. And most people are not even, they're not directing their life towards those questions. There's a lot of adventure that is required in a discovery of just even who you want to be with on a base level. These values will be expanded throughout your whole life. The goal is to have sex, not glorify abstinence. And that's a difficult thing, especially in the religious systems, which is you have to be tough enough to go one second, I'm horny, I don't like what you presented. Why not now? And I think that person brings peace and order. - Because society has changed from the time that those laws were made and those rules were made and things that were evident at that time were no longer evident. In fact, some of them were even very strictly prohibited. So the things that were written were written because they were unevident at the time and need to be communicated. Many of the things that remained unwritten just didn't need to be at that time. The relationship between men and women was very different in that day and age. And it was evident for them that the sexual relationships inside the family tended to be much more mutual than sometimes they're even portrayed to be now. So we have mutual. - Yeah, so. - Meaning the man and woman both enjoy it. Is that what you're saying? - Meaning the expectation was there, that a marriage was to have children. That men did not fuck around. When they came in, they said, well, I'm gonna put my job, I'm gonna put my career, I'm gonna put this and this and this, far ahead of what the purpose of the family was. The purpose of the family was to have children. And that in some ways correlated with the needs of a woman for safety and stability because I was expected of them, but is also correlating with the needs of the men to have the sexual relationships and to leave a legacy. So we had ideas of legacy, we had the ideas of family, we had the ideas of childbearing and connection all integrated throughout society. All of those are now separated and broken. There's no legacy, there's no connection, there's no nothing. So when we say mutual, of course there's no female protection rates at that time. Yes, men could have done anything, but there's also many structures in place that balance the interests of society. And that's why they actually had understandings about things like honor and understanding things about proper relationships and style and romance and being high class. We've discarded all of that 'cause we thought it wasn't important. We broke it all up into pieces and we think that we can rearrange things society any way we want and we can't. So I think we as a society are going to quickly rediscover why the old rules were there in the first place. The Ten Commandments, right? People always say why don't people get zapped by lightning bolts if they break the Ten Commandments? If God's real, why doesn't he punish us with lightning bolts? So he doesn't. Well, and to that point when you break the Ten Lightning bolts, when you break the Ten Commandments, the punishment is that you have to live a life that now is horrific because trust me, when you start doing the things that those forbid you to do, life gets terrible and God doesn't have to punish you. He simply sits back and gets very, very sad at the experience you're about to have. That's what it is. So the rules, quote unquote, around marriage, right? When we get away from marriage, I'll challenge the idea that marriage was to have kids. I hear what you're saying. That's one element of it. It's also to build stability. Many times for women. - Connections, right. - It's a connection. - What was it? - It was a legacy. It was to have a family. - It's transition. - It was to enable your family. - Sure. - Right? It was to have children and it was to enable each other. It wasn't a single-layer thing. We now are turning into a single-layer thing. - Oh, correct. - And marriage just to make me happy. No, it's not. - Correct. So I saw a post this morning. Maybe you guys saw it, okay? It was a post of three women living in a house and they were putting up a job listing, a listing for male heterosexuals, financially stable man sought, right? You will join our family. They'll join our household. There will occasionally be sex because some of us are trying to have children. But you're not going to be our partner and we need you to financially be here because we aren't financially stable ourselves. But you're not going to be in any way, shape or form, with us technically, although there may be some sex with some of the heterosexual women in the family. And really what they've done is create a system where it's three women who need a husband to take care of them. And that's I think what we're ultimately going to rediscover is that marriage is also for protecting women. It's for the transmission of wealth and health. It's for men to get their needs met to provide for, because men need to provide for something, and someone. That's a deep need. Men need to give and need to build. Marriage is 50 needs all rolled into one. And I think that we've done away with it, but I think we're going to rediscover it very quickly. So I absolutely agree with everything that's being said here. Yet there's going to need to be an expansion of the initial values. This is kind of like what you constantly see across even just history and just mankind as a whole as an incorporation of chaos leads to additional order, right? So there's a lot about it that we're learning. We're learning about even the values that have now no longer people connect to. They don't connect to it. Why should they? They don't make any sense. They're old, they're arbitrary. That's how they see them. And that's the unfortunate truth, is that we need to be able to understand how damn relevant these things are right now and start connecting to the values behind even the rules, because rules are not functional. If they don't serve a purpose, they're supposed to serve a purpose. And so there are values behind this in relationship to being a wife and a mother, a father and a husband. Those things transcend us as individuals. And that's truly what we're here to do. And I really mean this, and this is gonna help people start actually challenging themselves, is that if you wanna see what you're made of as a man, have a child, it will bring out a lot of that do or die in you. And I've seen the best in even my brothers who've had children before they have. It's beautiful to see that, because they get to see themselves clearer. And that's part of the process. - Are you familiar with the three-step process of skill mastery? Do you know that? Many people don't know this. - I don't know anything about Andre as much. - That's totally fine, Andre. This is something you're gonna be intimately familiar with, 'cause you understand skill mastery. - You put it in a graph. That was amazing. I saw the graph. I wasn't even looking at Andre. He had like a marker, and he was showing me the framework. - So the three-step mastery, and correct me if I'm wrong at any point, this is your expertise. The three steps of skill mastery are you begin, and you have to learn all the rules. And you follow the rules and you don't understand the rules. But you follow them, 'cause the rules keep you safe. And you're just barely beginning. And then you reach a point where you start realizing that some things fall outside the rules that you understand. Some things don't make sense. And you find the exceptions. And now you become a big country. Well, actually, and you start pushing back. You're the angry juvenile, who says the rules don't matter, the rebel, right? But then as you discover that, you push on the exceptions. You learn that the exceptions actually don't, they don't contradict the rule. They prove the rule. And the exceptions themselves actually create a new set of additional learning and rules where you have room to play within those rules. You have variance. You have all kinds of things you can do. - 'Cause you understand nuisance. - You understand nuance. And yes, and as you move forward, the next step, which maybe we're entering right now. Maybe all of us are, maybe as a society we're entering, is once you understand the rules, then you understand the exceptions. Now you come back, and you are a master of those rules, and you can play with those rules. - You know, if you know the rules well enough, you can break them. - Yes, based on what? Based on why would you break a rule? Because what you just said, here's how children learn. They repeat after you, then they rebel against you. When they knock their head enough times, they start respecting the rules. And respect, respect for the rules, respect for structures, respect for society comes from wisdom. Wisdom is something that we've made very uncool to have. - There's also that. - Disrespect for those rules that allows real truthful ones to be in place. I don't think that there's like, there's like this worshiping authority. - That's different. So respect is not necessarily based on simply obeying. Respect actually means you understand what their purpose and their value is, and you work with that. There's no such thing-- - There's value. There's a value behind the rule, and the successful revolutionary is willing to discover into the unknown, to find what that is. And once he does successfully, he expands people's understanding of it, bringing more people to the existential truth of that. You use the Ten Commandments, for example. Any of those things could be expanded into infinite concepts by which we understand morality as a whole, we understand ourselves as a whole, we understand others, and we understand how to treat ourselves and others. Right side is relative between you and yourself, and you and God, and then the left side, and then the right side-- - I understand, I understand. - Yeah, and then what ends up happening is people now start to get a much better understanding of how they treat oneself, how to liberate oneself, and also what that right transaction of liberation looks like relative to others. And that's just the beginning, the depth of these things, and where we need to go to understand things about ourselves. One of my favorite one is honor your father and your mother. I had that shit drilled in my head, and I was like, you guys are not worthy of honor, right? It was the classic rebel that I am, until I was able to realize that, if I can't respect or honor what I am composed of, I'm a fool. I'll never know God. I won't have any relationship with that, because my whole life, I've been rejecting everything that I'm composed of, and I think that ignoramuses go about their life, going, oh, dad is a narcissist, mom is just a broken people pleaser, and I'm this, you're naive, you're exactly them, you're the sum total of them, if anything. And so when we connect to this, we start to understand what even God is in the mirror reflection of masculine and feminine. To honor that is to honor the most true parts of yourself, and if you at first didn't criticize it and you looked at it, maybe you'd be set free from the limitations that they had. So there's a commandment for you, but really it's the thing that sets us free. It's not so much just about, okay, mom, here's a glass of water, it's I understand and honor what I am made to be. - So it's very easy to say no. No, no, no, no, I know. It's very, very hard to say yes, and even if the person is not 100% right, even if a rule is not 100% accurate, you say, you know what, yes, I'm gonna play this game with you, and we're gonna add a level to this. So it's funny, when both of you earlier challenged me on the point, when I said we're meeting, if I'm dating a girl, and she says, I want to wait till marriage. I say, you know what, that's fine, yes, we're gonna wait. And I'm gonna use this as an experience for both of us to understand the significance of their relationship, to understand the intensity of sexual desire, and this is gonna be a positive. You don't always have to fix everybody 100% in order to do that step. - What about this? I agree with you. What if it looked like, hey, we're going really well, I'm hot and heavy for you, let's wait until marriage. And then he goes, fuck no. And then she goes, talk about it. And then she exposes you to something that you willingly take upon yourself. Not so much about her telling you, but her inspiring you to something that could be bringing out that inner king that's locked inside. That's why you say, yes and. What are you gonna do? - Well, it's actually, yes. The conversation is yes, you're yes. This thing, no. So, and then you can start to understand each other where you stand based off these things. And by the way, there's no harm in leaving. Some people have a relationship with what they need, and they need it now, and I'm not God. And I could definitely say that maybe that's a yes for him and a no for her. But if you can expose somebody to the value outside of it, then they can willingly take a step into that position without being so much, it's not the other person, it's their willingness to ask more from themselves. And I think that's the point of conversation. - It's the point of conversation. That's a point of truly finding those valuable truths that live inside you. We don't know these things 'cause we did not have a chance to learn them. We do not really have a sense of family systems. We do not really have a functional society that we can say, this is the thing that gives us. It gets us to the highest place of honor. We have lost that or have chosen to discard it depending on how you want to look at it. And now we have to have these yes and conversations. Yes, and I'm gonna do this at the different link 'cause no, this part doesn't work for me, but I actually like what you're actually suggesting. - Well, I think that's also part of just maybe not being confrontational because let's just say a girl goes, we'll take the modesty conversation. And maybe she's your sister or your daughter, somebody you really consider, a very valuable family friend. And she's like, you know, and I think this is why it's very important for people to have these conversations, is showing where you stand is a very vulnerable thing. I fundamentally don't agree with that. And then they go, well, I do. There's a level of connection in that because you see what's really bringing you two together. And I think that when you could identify that, although it's not yes and, right, which is maybe in your case you have somebody who goes, I'm gonna dress like this, I'm gonna go out and get drunk tonight, right? Yes and-- - Yes, and then what's gonna happen to you, right, is the conversation. Yes, you go, go ahead and do that. No, Adam, yes-- - But that's psychotic, right? Doesn't that feel a level of like, no, don't do that, you know? Yes and, it's, there's a level of vulnerability in the yes, no. And that's why I really do stand for that because you get to really see each other. - I, you guys are talking about this as a hypothetical, but I actually live this out with my wife 'cause in that 11 months there was times where I was like, I don't think I can wait much longer. I don't think this is gonna, like, maybe this is stupid. Maybe we should just go and she had to say, yes and, what's gonna happen then? How are you going to feel after you have this experience? That's in relationship to sex. Yeah. That's because that's, you both want it. Yes. But you want more clarity. Yes. So, what there are clear disagreements, which is what I think that you want to do. Let's take a case where you have a daughter and she wants to go out and she's 17 or 19, whatever the heck she's supposed to be. What are you gonna say? No. And now what? You've shed the conversation down, right? You've, she says, I have a right-- It's just the beginning of the conversation. She goes, I have a right to go out and there's nothing you can do to stop me. In fact, I'm communicating it to you and half the time, and I'm sorry to the woman who are listening to disagreeing it, if I'm hurting your feelings, it is what it is. In most cases, in many cases, one of them friends thinks in this way, she's actually inviting you into a conversation and she's saying, I want to take a firm stand and I want you to also engage with me in a way that is potentially going to challenge me without having to oppress me, right? Well, I mean, that's the whole thing. There's a fine line between protection and control and if you suffocate your daughter, she runs from you. Correct. The same thing goes with your partner. She either falls into, she dies in the confinements and then your left bitter and jaded because you're not protecting anything. She's dead in your own walls. Congratulations, no sunlight there. So there's a level of consideration and sensitivity with these conversations and a serious amount of compassion. Genuinely, there's a lot that goes on there, you know, which is like, of course, I don't want you to do that, right? But also at the same time, I don't want a resentful witch in my household that just wants to burn me down to the ground, you know, I want you to understand me. And it's also very important to present the disagreement, not the disagreement followed by control, which is what most people are familiar with. And that's the unfortunate part, which is immediately a no, even in my childhood, right? Was the end of it. But as I grew up, no was the beginning of the conversation by which I can communicate something that I deeply connect to. Now here's the piece of it. There can be a yes and there can be a no, but there must be a conversation and you have to foster that with a person over time, right? I have five children, everything is a conversation. There is nothing that is ever not a conversation. It's never a no and that's the end of it and we're not speaking about this ever again. It's not no because I said so. It's not no because I'm your dad. It's no, let's talk about that. - No, 'cause I'm your dad is like one of the worst ones ever. - It's stupid because then they don't want to trust a man ever again, a son or daughter. So no, and here's why. And they can come, they are welcome. They don't talk back to me, so to speak. But they speak back to me. They have conversations. There's a difference between talking back and speaking back. They rebut. They say, well, dad, have you thought about this? Well, dad, here's a thought. And I say, oh, okay, well, tell me more about that. No, but let's have that conversation. And then we have the conversations. I've trained them diligently in this. So when my daughters grow up, I suppose we'll find out 20 years from now. Everybody out there right now, put a bookmark on this and come back 20 years and ask how my daughter's doing. - Yes, yes, I'm excited. - But I am building the relationship with my daughters where they don't have to fight tooth and nail to be understood. But they also now respect me. So if we go outside and they say, hey, don't do that, they stop and they look at me and say, why, why not? And they don't continue doing it, why, dad? They stop. - Because you've found a space for it, right? - Correct. - Which is exactly the whole point. We're dealing with things in vacuums without the years of fostering people connected to values that are far beyond our own understanding at the whole point of truth. So that's incredibly rich. You know, I wanted to kind of bring it back to something, something that I believe we just touched on a little bit. It went really hot. It was actually the discussion of modesty. And this is something that we're kind of talking about it right now, assuming that there's not things to talk about in relationship to that. There's a whole lot there that I do believe that is it partially comes from a disconnect from the feminine that we have in our society, which comes along with a disconnect from the masculine, right? Because if you remove God from society, who's composed of masculine and feminine, congratulations. What are you left with? What is the divine archetype you are aspiring towards, even as a man, as an individual, however you are? And I think that keeps us lost and weak. And even worse is that we're susceptible, susceptible to vices that want to do the complete opposite of what's best for you. So I guess the real question is, how do you say these things without pissing people off, right? You have to be willing to. - Why not piss people off, yeah. - Oh, but then that's rich. - You have to, you have to be willing to go to that place and piss them off, but then what do they do? An angry person can still come back and have a conversation with you. They can go cool off and then come back. - That's exactly the whole point, right? Which is, that's very human, right? There's an openness here in the conversation, which is, you can do those things. You can get mad, you can get upset, right? What we're going to resort to is very important. There's a certain point where you have to walk away because you're not God. And that's where the humility comes in, which is I've done everything that I could. At this point, you're left to a few things. Blunt force, right? Or just complete and total dominance where you throw the person in a cage. And ultimately, both of those leave you unhappy and miserable and that person doesn't understand what's happening. So there's a level of humility in this whole process, which is really where I'm coming from with this. - Really quick, Red Pill guys ask me all the time, Adam, how can you trust your wife? How can you trust your wife? - Really? - Oh yeah, it's sad. - I mean, you have five kids. You know, she's either a world class. - And then I get like, well, how do you know those are your kids, Adam? Well, how do you know your wife isn't, you're on business trip right now. How do you know she isn't XY? And I say, why on earth would I marry a woman that I didn't think I could trust? Like, why would any man, why would any man not have a definitive system for knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he could trust that woman? Why would he ever marry her? I would never do that. I only married her because I had no shadow of a doubt. - Well, that's the whole danger. The danger of ideologies that exist out of something bigger than yourself is that your ideology becomes yourself. You take the Red Pill logic, it's created by people who've been hurt by women, all of them across the board. They're also afraid of them. So they are going to double down in their mask of I'm not afraid I have them. No, you don't have women you respect, big distinction. A mother birthed you, whether you like it or not. So unless she's a dirty that birthed birth view, you know, that different conversation. But there's so much of that that goes unquestioned. And this is why I do know that the no end, you know? There needs to be a level of challenge in people's relationship with what they believe relative to an ideal that's outside of ourselves. And that's why I think the yes end comes into the picture. But who's presenting the authority? Is it God? Is it man? And that's a big one. - Well, actually, what I think is that the reason why things like Red Pill exists, the reason why there's so many people who are so lost is because they exactly have not done the work and they have no plan at the beginning of their marriage. They actually have no reason to believe that they've made the right choice because then they always have a way out. I didn't know. Well, she didn't tell me this. Well, I changed or she changed. And that's it. There's always an out. Ultimately, what the pre-marriage period has to be is the point where you as a man, you have to come for the final conclusion where that's it, where there is no other option. And then the-- - The pre-marriage conclusion. Actually, I think this is very rich. This is something I really want to get into. - Right. It's the pre-marriage conclusion that this is it. Now, can things change? Anything can change, but you don't have to. The whole point is that there can be certain things in your life that you will stick to forever. And those are the foundations of your personality. Some things must be permanent. - In order for the temporary to exist. - There's a serious level of maturity behind that, that a lot of young men and women are not being taught in relationship to themselves. This whole question around marriage, and especially getting married young in relationship to sex, either it becomes an avoidance of sexual nature or becomes the protection of it, which is how I see it as. Something that's there to help protect connection and children. The amount of work that's done prior to this will definitely challenge people because it will put them in what you call roles, right? And then that's when everybody's feathers ruffle and they run out of the table because, God forbid, that somebody understands that we ourselves are struggling with the ideal and being a representation of that. You don't think that we and you're going to need what you call training or guidance in that process. Because this pre-marriage period is the most important thing for young men and for young women. You have to know who you are and what you want. And then you also need to connect to this decision, to this decision. And then also accept that masculine and feminine are not separate. And the totality of your life is not going to be separate from a woman, it's going to be with a woman. And the same thing goes for women. It's going to be with a man. If you understood that, you don't just create attachment disorders. Of course, there's going to be a list of things that you should probably confront before you go ahead and just go marriage as a solution to all my problems because it sounds romantic, doesn't it? And I want to make sure it's not romantic. It's you making sure that you could present that monkey on the first date when you're somebody who's been sexually traumatized or has watched decades of porn. It's going to be you realizing that perhaps maybe you actually are challenged with your belief in higher power and your belief in marriage and you're not really quite sure where you fit. All of those things need to happen at a younger age and there needs to be a wake up in order for people to realize the catastrophe of what's actually happening. And it was something that you mentioned, which was that 90% of women are going to be childless and you can finish the rest of that. - Of the women who are childless, 90% of them did not want to be. They fell into it by accident, okay? Now we have learned in America here that the number one largest demographic is going to be single childless women in their 30s, 40s, 50s, et cetera. They're going to be the largest voting demographic, they're going to be the largest purchasing demographic. All the big researchers know this. This is why everything is geared toward this population. It's going to get even worse over the next 10 years and we're seeing the fruits of go out, explore yourself, find yourself, which usually means find where you are under the nearest man and find yourself. - I like that. - That's where we're looking at and the fruits of that are now being born out where we have a new generation of very angry millennial women who are lonely, who are trying to buy, they are trying to buy into the lie that cats and wine and animals are going to make them happy. - You could highlight in back spaces. - Yeah. - We won't talk about that. - Did you know that the millennial generation is the one most likely to say they want children more than any other generation we've ever studied? - And then have the least. - And they have the least. - Yeah, sounds about right. They're most likely to find an ideology to protect themselves with that allows them to have all the pity from everybody around them. So I don't really, it's unfortunate, they're really a product of what our society peaked at before there was anything that challenged it, you know, which happened in 2020. Can't say that word. - Well, to that point, I think that's why we see Gen Z coming back so hard. They're splitting. - That's a good point, they're splitting. - They are either saying that there is no hope at all. So they're launching off into the deep end as hard as they can. And many of them, unfortunately, are driving themselves out of the gene pool through one means or another. We'll just leave it there. And the other section is becoming, no, I wouldn't say more traditional, but they're grabbing the old rules. They're reaching that third level of skill mastery. They're grabbing the old rules. They're seeing the exceptions. And then they are building a new framework with the old rules that work with exceptions that work personally for them. And that's the splitting in Gen Z right now. Gen Z at home, I would love to hear from you in the comment sections. Is this true? Are you seeing a massive split in your population and among your peers? But that is the divide we are seeing is skill mastery. Either they are driving off into insanity, or they are mastering the skills and making the systems work for them. - It's that whole thing, right? How is it that women can be put in a position to want to aspire in what you call, and this is what I make very, very clear to a lot of women, like a man-made world. It's going to have a negative influence on you. The avenues that you're being presented for security, which I make it very clear for women, challenge the f*** out of that, is you become a working class woman and you work for a guy that doesn't give a f*** about you. As the guy that you're married to, you give a list of conditions to that you don't respect, that you're not satisfied by. So it's complete and total destruction of the feminine itself. So telling women to not have children is what destroys them, because they already don't start thinking about how they can create a life where that's actually a variable. And that's how you improve every dating metric. Ask if he wants to have kids. And see if he runs and hides. - I have never met a little girl that didn't want to have a baby. A baby, to be honest with you. Do you know when I left on this trip to come here and film this? - That's what trauma tattoo is. - Well, but that's the piece. Little girls, little girls, pre-trauma, pre-anything, as long as you can see them catch them before trauma. Do you know when I left here, my wife has our four-month-old strapped to the front of her. She's walking around with a baby, Papus strapped around. And I looked at my three-year-old, my little three-year-old daughter, she actually just turned four. And she had a small little scarf wrapped around her as a Papus and she had her little stuffed goblin. She loves goblins in the front as a little baby. - She loved a goblin and a couple of mothers. - Yeah, I said, "What are you doing there?" And she said, "I'm a goblin, I'm a goblin mom." She said, "I'm a goblin mom." And I said, "Okay, baby, that's great." I've never met a little girl that was not traumatized who didn't wanna be a mom, right? - Yeah, that's the authentic expression of the feminine, right? It's around nurture, care, and family and relationships and being able to grow those connections. It's so necessary. And I really think that, you know, we've fallen into a really tragic place by which I don't think a lot of men show appreciation for that. They don't. - No, men don't. Men don't understand women enough to appreciate them. You know the number one problem? The number one problem for men who come into my coaching practice when they're avoidantly attached. You know what it is? They have no idea what women offer in relationships. They see three holes and that's it. - Three. - That's creative. - Sometimes four, but that's what they see, right? There's a secret one. But that's what they see in relationships is she offers this and she's offered this to X number of people, so she offers me nothing. And this is where we get this conversation. What does the woman bring to the table? - There's also that too, right? 'Cause I know that one. She's already given that to other people. - Sure. - So she offers me nothing. - Sure. - That's typically a sign of an unintegrated guy, especially in relationship to body count, 'cause that's a whole different kind of conversation, right? Which is typically comes from men who don't understand women and also women who don't understand themselves. Two people who are very, very, very confused about who they are are going to be the worst couple. - Yes. - The worst couple. They're gonna rip each other apart because they're gonna feel like so drawn to each other, but also like so unfulfilled. - Ugh. - Sadness and pain and despair that they don't even know how to face, right? So there's a lot in that so that people can already start questioning a lot of even their own behaviors in relationship to sex, which is where I led this with, because marriage and sex are kind of the same conversation. - There should be a lot of sex and marriage. That's what people don't tell you. - Yeah, but unfortunately, we have to relearn everything from scratch. So part of the reason why actually I'm on the team actually wait till marriage is because we don't know anything about the relationships. Chances are we parents didn't teach you. You know, chances are life has traumatized you to some degree be it through pornography or, you know, promiscuity or just bad examples or, you know, bad luck, whatever. And you really need to start at ground zero, right? Because if you are sitting in front of somebody and you say, I'm only attracting you for the sex, you have no idea what real life real love is and you probably will never learn, right? So actually going backwards saying, what if we don't have this? What if we make this so simple and say, what I still be attracted to you if you and I did not bang nasties in the first date? - What about the second thing nasties? - Okay, this is a little horrible one. - What about the second one though? - What about the third? - I think people do this. They like to go, this is too big of a variable for us to solve. So we're going to put it aside. It still exists. It's just existing on the back end. Now, when presenting this, and this is very important, is that you're human beings. You're going to be really fulfilled when you meet each other's needs, right? You're going to be very happy. You're actually going to be enjoying that because you've actually broken down the walls by which you can express yourself. Am I on team do it first date? No, the reason why I say that is not because you can. You can, and you could be married happily. You just got to know who you are, and you have to really start taking yourself seriously because I do believe that there's a big, in relationship to men, I think sex is very challenging because it could be the answer to all of your problems until you realize it's just starting all of them, right? - You know what's interesting to me about what you said, and I want to poke at you pretty hard because I'm curious. You've been an avoidant man. You've had avoidant attachment. You have had sex prior to the partner that you are with now, and I won't say how much sex, but I'm not going to be like, "It's a lot," but now you have had sex prior to the partner you with. So I know that you haven't waited until marriage for this one partner, okay? You, of all men who are out there, have every reason to say like, I shouldn't wait for marriage because this, this and this, the risks are there, here's this, there's incompatibility I hear all the time, right? Of all men out there, you have every reason to say, "No, don't wait for marriage, it's stupid." What is it? What is it for the men at home who are listening right now that are like, why are these three guys saying like, I should at least wait to some extent? What is it for the guys at home that has led you from a path of sex is like, have fun, do it, to wait for marriage? What is that for you? - You don't know the value of something until you give it up. That is what, you want to learn sex, you want to learn true intimacy? Then hold off until you can make a narrative and a story out of it that you're gonna be proud of living. And if you can say, I'm gonna build a relationship with you that is not gonna be based on the one thing that I know works and I'm going to develop other parts of myself. And this is gonna be my own experience, it's gonna be my own journey. And I'm going to use this to build my own character so I can present myself in the best way and I know that is going to be the best for you and the best for me and the best for your children. You will be very proud of yourself. Not in the bad way of pride, but in the good way where you say, I have done something that I think is of value and that will respect myself for. Most men do not know how to do things that make them respectable in their own eyes. Most men are slaves to their passions, they're slaves to their bodies, they're slaves to their parents, they're slaves to their community, to their society, to their bank account, you name it. Try not being a slave in at least one thing and see if you like it and then decide. - Well, I think that implies that you've had a connection to the value itself, you know, even myself speaking, personally I appreciate you being very vulnerable and honest. And how you yourself are really connecting to that, which I agree with. I'm not, you really understand the value of something you give when you take some space away from it. A year and a half away from sex has taught me more about sex than ever having it has. Which is kind of like paradoxical, but it's also the intention and the discovery by which you experience it within yourself. Now you no longer wish to just give this gift. That's part of healing the porn brain, that's part of becoming masculine in a lot of ways too. As your relationship with your sex is a very valuable seed by which you plant. It's a gift by which you give. And when you have that connection with it, of course you're only going to have better sex. Yet it's also very, very important, which is why I make it very clear. Getting rid of the animal doesn't mean that it's not there. Integrating it and voluntarily having it under control allows two people to connect to what's under it. Yet there is, and this is how you know something is of value, the clock ticks. And I think that's what allows us to go down the rabbit hole, metaphorically. Which is you actually now eventually go, okay we have these confinements, we want to do this. We want to meet here. The goal is to meet here. And that's going to be very confrontation. And I think that you said he was an avoidant. And I think confrontation is going to be, those are the difficult conversations to have. And it's just typically the things that I ask. 'Cause you want to know if something is not-- Confrontation is easy for avoidant. Well here's the point. Actually I don't, it's exactly the opposite. Loving confrontation is challenging. So, one second, I wanted to finish this year to make it very clear that there's a certain question that you need to ask around sex. And I say this a lot, is ask their sexual history, how many boyfriends they have had and how many people they've slept with. Because for a girl who has a split and you present a way to marriage, she'll take it like this. And then now when sex comes, you're getting lights off, missionary, and that hurts, no thank you. So that's not what you want. So it's very important to see, hey, you know, when somebody asked me that question, when was the last time you had sex, I tell them honestly. And they go, well that's a very long time for a guy like you. And I'm like, well let me tell you my relationship with it. Right? And then now they go, okay I understand. I'm very similarly on that process, which means we both, we can see what we're trying to connect with. Why would we want to, what you call, we acknowledge the desire and the impulse. And I think there's also humility in that. Which is, who's to say that I won't learn from that, right? And of course that can kind of border narcissism and using people. You really have to take these things under consideration. Because once you see that somebody is dishonest and what they're presenting, and that they're using this as a shield to avoid the things that they're afraid of, don't be a part of that. - So let's jump in here, because this is a topic I want us to hit and I want to get both of your opinions on this. We've circled around body count. We've tipped around, tipped out around it. - Tipped out around it. Well here we are. - Let's stomp on it. - So I'm gonna give, I'm gonna ask you a question. I'm gonna give my answer. I'm gonna hear each one of yours. So we get in real trouble here on the internet, okay? Does a woman's body count matter? My statement is yes. A woman's sexual history absolutely matters. But what matters more than that is her relationship with her sexual history. Has she slept with multiple people? Okay, yes or no on that. What is her relationship to the idea of sex and to her own personal history? How does she see that playing for or against in marriage? Has she learned from that? Has she grown from this? Now, if she's had sex with 600 people and now says, okay, maybe this wasn't the best option. I'm going to go marry a man and have a quiet religious life. - That's most people's relationship with sex before marriage nowadays, because I think altruism is the best mass that people hide behind in today's society. And I would love to rip it off their faces and show them what a dirty little scumbag they are. And I mean this and I say this with a lot of conviction. I do not trust people when they present altruism. They don't know who they are. It's the easiest mass to hide behind. And you could do it while being the biggest piece of shit because you have no relationship with any of your behaviors. And you could write it off. Done, period. - There's many different masks. Victim mentality, just saying that you're doing things for everybody else. Avoidance is absolutely a mask. Anxiety is absolutely a mask. Altruism is absolutely a mask, right? Narcissism is also a mask. Like all of those things are masks, right? And it's exactly that. It's exactly how do you relate to your own history? What is the narrative of your life? That is what's significant. However, there are certain things in life that are absolutes, constants, and truths. And that's it. So going back to your question around body count, does it matter? Yes, because I believe-- - I think the word matter is very significant. Yes, the actions of serious intimacy and bonding. - It creates reality. - They don't matter, of course. No, of course, right? So that's the whole delusional, I think the question is probably the wrong question. Does it matter? To what extent does it matter? I think that's a better nuance. - And matter for what? - Does it matter in relationship to the men that you go out with? And then that's actually, the answer is, if you're connected to your actions and your behaviors, then you have a relationship with the things that you did, and you understand the value that you have either cost or achieved. - Let's define it. - It will matter, it will impact you for the rest of your life. I believe that if a woman has sex before marriage, or she's in a committed relationship, she will impact herself for us of her life. Because to a man, it's not the same. A woman who has sexual intercourse, she's positioning herself in a way that she is going to potentially have a child. She's going to be responsible for the child. She will not be able to walk away. So there is a place of significant vulnerability, and her body is designed to experience that vulnerability. And if that vulnerability is betrayed by breakup, by a disconnect, that is going to leave an imprint for the rest of her life. Can she recover from that? Of course she can, right? But let's not underestimate the impact that that is going to have on her and her future work that she's going to have to do. So if she can avoid it, if she can avoid having that disappointing experience, and she can save that powerful bonding, creative ability to do the state where she does not have to fear being left, then she believes she's going to be safe, it's just better to avoid some pain than to fix it. So I think that really does matter. Is it better for me to suggest to girls who are waiting to continue waiting? Yes, because you can really save yourself the trauma. If you already experienced the trauma, well, that is what it is, right? And we can move on. You can heal from it. You can get better. There's a lot of interesting behind this. You know, because a virgin who weaponized her virginity can be far worse than a woman who slept with a few guys and understands her sexuality. Some women take virginity as a whole of protection. And I do agree with you that you want to investigate that in the confinements of a marriage and a directed purpose. So why the how would you weaponize it, right? But ultimately there's a whole lot of, I mean, dude, I mean, if you take two virgins and you put them in a room together nowadays, they're hopeless. She's going to find aspects of herself that are exceptionally powerful and he's going to find how powerless he is in the face of that. And then he's going to start weaponizing his authority that he doesn't really have, right? And then now you got yourself a shit space. But I think in relationship to what you're saying, because, yeah, if you sleep with a bunch of guys, you're going to have to integrate all of that into the next relationship with the man that you respect. Your likelihood of you presenting that is going to be very minimal, especially if you have shame behind it. So there's so much, I mean, a lot of depth in that conversation. Then of course, direct it towards the highest possible ideal. And you're not really flattering yourself when you said, it's taken me over 12 guys to realize that all of them left me. There's something that you're disconnected from yourself in relationship to your partner selection. And it's all disconnected from children, which is why I don't just say this as like, I'm conservative values here. I'm saying this because if women want to be powerful and dating, start understanding your sexual value and relationship to the liability you hold with it. If you stopped running from what you are, you would face what you're capable of receiving, and you would have more than somebody showing up for you as you show up for them. That's a scary process. Dude, women are the source of all creation itself. That'll wake you the fuck up. They also are the all-consuming force. That's scary too. Women need to know that, you know? Good thing, watch Ursula or Maleficent or the kind of hot queen from Snow White. All of those things are going to give you a good idea of, "Oh my God, there's always dualities in these stories between women." And so now, of course, now you're presented sex, and just like that, that's going to be there too. It could be the weapon that you utilize and use, that you continuously use and utilize unconsciously, and attracting lower and lower quality men because you believe yourself, your lower quality. It's very, very one-around work. I believe that you need to ask yourself in any circumstance you face, two questions. What are you doing and why? You're waiting before marriage. What are you doing? Right? I'm trying to get myself the highest value partner. I'm going to trade my virginity for the biggest bank account. Well, that's not so good, right? Well, it's not a lot of return there. Yeah. If you say, "What are you doing?" As I'm trying to protect myself from trauma, I'm trying to respect my belief. I'm trying to protect myself from my future children, from being living in a broken home. That's good. The question is why? Is it because I'm fearful of all men? Is it because my parents have told me so, and told me I'll be a bad girl if I don't do that? Is it because this is what I've actually truly believed in? If you're going to ask those two questions, and I'll be embarrassed of yourself, and I'll go, "Huh, it doesn't sound right," then you're probably in a good space. So, you know, you mentioned something about that whole split. There are less, I mean, the disproportionate amount of people having sex in our generation, and then people not having it at all. That's the product of splits, right? So, if you're on the side that's not having it, and then you are the side that's having it, there's a certain kind of level of unknown, and this is the whole thing that even you see in a lot of Disney films is like, what gives women the ability to understand the man that they are going to marry, and have sex with, and perhaps even give their virginity to, is going to be that they have what you call intuition. Their ability to see what is hidden behind what everybody sees. They bring that out, and that's where strength comes in, because there's a serious level of strength in that. And a lot of men nowadays in society are highly toxic. We've bred a significant number of exceptionally toxic, like dangerously toxic. Dangerous is a really good thing. Dangerously toxic, psychopathic men. We've taught a whole generation of non-biological sociopaths and psychopaths, and they've released them into the wild, and then we go, well, why is the girls are so weird nowadays? Well, it's because it's not particularly safe for women to be out there, and actually attempting to create families. Because sometimes, and in a higher proportion, and a much higher proportion than there used to be, there's a number of predatory men, and additionally, there's nothing that society can do with them. Because until they break some major laws, you can't do anything, you go somewhere else, those are the parts in the world that run differently, and your guy does this, or he does this to you, and then your brother's going to show up and beat the crap out of you. And you're going to stop. We don't do that anymore. I have as a father of three daughters and two sons. I am absolutely, absolutely raising all of my children with that expectation of her safety does not come from laws. Her safety doesn't even come from herself. Her safety comes from her connection through the rest of our family, and making sure that our family is involved in her marriage, and that her partner understands and respects that. Number one, he needs to integrate into the family, and number two, he needs to be very afraid of our family. What do you think about a guy, the daughter integrating into his family? Absolutely, it needs to be both, to be honest with you, but it must. Well, that's very rich, I would say that most men, if I spoke about this to you before we even hopped over here, which was, there are men that do want to present marriage to women. Good f***ing luck. And I'm saying that because it's not just you and her anymore. Is you her and her family who's been conditioned to go honey, you're going to get married young to this guy? He's manipulating you. So what you're rewarding is pretty much that women go through a system that indoctrinates them, masculinizes them, uses them, and then leaves them with nothing to their name. And then a guy that's presenting, by the way, not like I would like to f*** your daughter, which is what most people are actually allowing nowadays, which is, hey, actually it's okay if you date her and sleep with her. It's not okay if you marry her. And I think there's a lot of cognitive dissonance behind this, which is what the f***er we're rewarding in our society, and how much it hurts. Oh my god, it hurts women so much. And it leaves, you know, in relationship to the kind of damage, sometimes irreparable because there aren't a lot of people that really care. Let's go back to this example of your daughter says, I'm 1921, whatever it is in this country that you'll have to drink. I'm going to go out, put on the skankiest outfit and get absolutely trashed. But I'm worried that I'll be home by like two, maybe. That question starts, I think maybe better say your partner, because, you know, your daughter is going to be very similar in that relationship as to how you deal with it. You know, you're going to be, if you could deal with that situation very well with your wife, it should go pretty well with your daughter. I hope I never have to have that conversation with my wife. Well, right, there we go. So then I think you already answered your question there, which is, if you had that conversation with your wife, and then now you're here at this point, you probably didn't have that conversation with your wife, because it's very hard to let that happen in a family that's... But there's a reason why I want to explain daughters, because here's the thing, as kids grow up, they become exposed to influences. And at a certain point, they're actually still too little, but they're told by society that they're old enough, right? Honestly, I don't think that we should be allowing, you know, 21-year-olds to drink. I didn't understand the significance of alcohol, and we know the development of the brain is impacted by it, and at least until they have a prefrontal cortex, at least don't mess with it. So let's even leave that conversation aside. But, especially nowadays, pornography only fans, you know, the dating culture, TikTok, all of that, they will absolutely destroy women from the age of 14, 12. You know, by the time they actually get to the point where they're legally allowed to make decisions for themselves, they're in a trap. No, that's a really good point. So it was going to happen. It's much worse than that. So I took my daughter out. She's six years old. I took her out to the daddy daughter dance a couple months back, right? She had a beautiful gown on. It was wonderful. I wore a suit. And we went out and we danced in this gym. And as we were dancing, right, there were slow songs, and she'd be super happy. And then a Taylor Swift song would come on, right? And she was confused because we don't listen to Taylor Swift in my home. Nothing against her. Maybe she's a wonderful human. But a Taylor, an angry breakup, right? I'm going to be me, screw you, kind of hateful conversation, cause a song would come on. And my daughter would go, huh? And all the girls, all the girls in the room, ages five to 12, would shriek their heads off with joy, because they recognized the first three notes. And then they would begin, and I watched. They'd scream the angry choruses at the tops of their lungs with these angry faces as hard as they couldn't. Like five, six, seven, eight years old. These daughters conditioned, conditioned into hate and rage in relationships. None of them had dated yet, hopefully. At eight years old, five years old. It's in the culture. It's imbued in the culture. It shows up in the film you watch. You click on Netflix. You're no longer watching Netflix. You're watching how to degrade men, and how to have a car as a woman. And I think that those things have a serious effect on us, because it's godless. And nobody wants to consider it. It's harmless. You're just watching something. You say that about porn. It's harmless. You're just watching something. It's just casual sex. You're just having it. All of that is a deteriorating society and the product of a removal of something more. That's definitely going to hurt. A very dangerous concept that girls are presented with. And it's a concept of self-discovery. You are supposed to go and discover yourself, and nobody can tell you how to do that. I'd love to see who's really presenting that. Just see what he looks like. That makes me so angry. Well, here's the thing. Because it's a weapon. It's not sincere at all. Given in concept, yes. Every person has a right to discover themselves. And we should. You see it. Go find out who you are. The context of it. First of all, you're not living in a bubble. You know, you have parents. You have connections. You have children. You have partners. You have friends. All of them are connected to you and care for you. All of them have trusted you to not hurt them, right? And if you are going out and saying, "I'm going to get trashed tonight. I don't care what you think about a dad, or brother, or boyfriend." Because it's my right. Man, that is not good. You're not putting yourself first. You're not even putting your best self first into this conversation. Right? And what's talking to you is probably not even kind of your full complete human self. No, it's not refined at all. It's not refined at all. It's a challenge. It's a woman who hates her family, because they're giving her response to us. That's a woman who hates herself. Well, it is. She hates her family, because she feels there's endless responsibility, and no joy, pleasure, fulfillment, kindness, love. She has no concept what her family could be providing to her. She's rejecting it, and she's chasing hedonism and escapism, because she hates everyone and everything. And she's worthy for you. I think that starts from it, and that's kind of the whole thing. If a woman hates herself enough, she'll begin to hate men, because her, immediately, if just the rejection of the feminine manifests, and you're just masculinizing, and then you're going to realize men get more rewarded for the things that you do, and they get more respect without even asking for it. So then you look to more narratives, for more power. Right? But ultimately, that's the whole thing that I find is very interesting. You know, and this is a much broader conversation, but I would definitely love to have it with you guys, because if there's anybody I can have this conversation with, it's with you guys. It's putting women in the marketplace, separating them outside of the household, thinking that that's what's going to empower them. That right there has hurt women as a whole, because not only does it make them masculinize in a man-made world shocker, it does not help them develop the skills and attributes that make them not only irreplaceable, but make them necessary for life to function and to thrive. Beauty is a hard fine line to maintain, and I would love, I would love, love, love, if people would perhaps maybe start realizing that if men were to be in these positions by which they would, quote, "deal with these corporate soullessness in the world," that they would actually fight back from it. So statistically speaking, what happened when women joined the workplace and when they went out, and they went on to, you know, having the same spending power as men, having, you know, the same social norms and rights as men, is that debt went significantly up, because corporations, businesses are predatory, marketing is predatory. Speaking as a marketer, I got to say, we're out there pushing our stuff in an attempt to prove something. Male spending habits tend to be much more conservative than female spending habits. Female spending habits, especially ones that are single, are absolutely exceptional. You know, the amount of money that women who are stuck alone in society feeling hopeless, alone, sad, broken, betrayed, spend is insane. Go through a mall, and you will see that 75% of merchandising is spent, is targeted at a woman. The woman spends so much money trying to fill this gap, because they're stuck exactly living alone in a man's world with nobody to help them, because it's separate. It's hard for a lot of people to accept. Yes, it is a man's world, and everything that you are going to be hearing that you're going to be running with, in the name of I am a woman, and I could dominate men, was made by a man, and probably told you to do that. And I think that's a very harsh reality for women, and it's not an easy one to accept. But yes, that is the truth. There are going to be two kinds of men, men that lie to you, and then men that love you and guide you. Choice is yours, and I don't think that that's where women strength comes from, and where women really tend to thrive is when they're able to tell the difference between the two without rejecting the masculine as a whole, and then even rejecting themselves as a whole, as a form of protection. It's all a form of protection. And I do believe that if women really understood that they utilize their intuition, their gifts as a woman, they'd be able to identify the man that lies to them, from the man that truly wants to help them, because that is the choice that you're presented as a woman. Because hey, if you're going to be the manifestation of all creation, and the evolution of mankind itself, and by the way, the creator of new life, you're going to need to feel safe in order to be all of those things. Because I can't imagine it's going to turn out well for women when they look out there, and there's a bunch of predatory men, all of them who are consciously unaware. I get it. I'm not even here to say that I don't. It's just that hey, if you can make it a moment now, to just make a difference, to question the intentions of your actions, and to see what's truly authentic, and to see what's truly you, maybe things can start getting better. Because you know, sure, we could point the finger in one direction, but start with yourself, and you'll realize that that's the only thing ever worth considering. Women have a lot of responsibility, because of the power they have, right? They really do have a tremendous and amazing self-discovery journey, absolutely ahead of them. And in many ways, their journey, I think, is more complicated than the masculine journey. It's a faster, quicker one. Yeah. That you've got to be on your toes with. With less room for mistakes, because once you're pregnant, you know, it's over, right? It's typically downhill. Yeah. If you're not in a safe space, it's going to be very, very difficult for you. No matter what you believe in terms of abortion, rights, etc. No matter, there is no good outcome, or at least no simple outcome, that is going to bring you back to the way you were. It doesn't work like that anymore. So that amount of responsibility is significant. Ideally, you should be using all of the resources at your disposal, you know, in terms of family, in terms of structures, in terms of wisdom that is accessible to you to make the right decisions. But ultimately, everything's going to have to come down to what are you doing, and why are you doing it? And that's why I have to navigate that. Using your intuition, using blunt honesty, using authenticity, using also modesty, modesty now, coming up with-- It's a serious amount of values in relationship to the thing that you're intuiting, right? Yeah. And that's what really helps women. You know, there's a connection to values, and that's something that men typically represent, not just preach all the time, which is why, you know, even sometimes when I talk, I'm like, I just come on, you know, like-- Sometimes you don't have to fight about everything in order to just say there's some value to what you're saying, and we can figure out how to integrate it. And I wish that a lot of women would give us the benefit of the doubt, to at least have the conversation, and say, you know what? Yeah, okay, we can-- We can satisfy your need, but let's at least try to understand what it truly is as opposed to what you think you want. And that's a challenge. I think at the end of the day, what this means, is that men need to be authentic, honest men, right? We must, in fact, or we destroy everything with our own two hands. And women must understand how to integrate that manhood into the relationship, but also integrate their womanhood into the relationship. If she can learn to integrate, and he can learn to be fully authentic and honest, I think that relationships can come back together. I don't think at all that we're beyond a breaking point. I think we're at a threshold of a whole new level, where we're going to be much happier together as people in relationships. I think that we're there. Yes, there's going to be growth pains. Those are going to hurt. But we can come back, you guys. We can still come back from this. And I think that this conversation has mapped quite a few things forward. I would love to hear in the comment sections, what everybody out there thinks. Are we right? Are we wrong? Which one of us would you shoot in the head if you had a bullet right now? Let's get that on. Let's talk about those in the comments. But, gentlemen, any closing thoughts here, that you want the people at home to learn, that you wish they knew? I think you said it as simply as you have, which is if there's a big split, you need a big integration. And that's going to be a little painful. But that's how you merge things together. And how you bring order. So right now, I mean, you said it. It shows up in relationship to sex and dishonesty, overdevelopment of one thing, keeping us, by the way, alone. So there's an aspect of us that needs to kind of sew a little butterfly stitch between the aspects of ourselves that are split within us, and kind of how it works on a global level too. Yeah, and I can't agree more with that. I think we need to implement the pause button into our lives, into our relationships. And before you run off and do anything, follow anybody's advice, or act on your own impulse. Hit the pause button, and really figure out what's going on, right? You know, whose authority are you acting on? Is it your own authority as an individual? Is it on the authority of your passions? Is it on the authority of your traditions, of your family values? And really, just be very careful, because there's no more play work we burnt it, and we danced in its ashes. So I think now is the time for you to recreate your playbook, and you have to go very, very carefully. You have to be very cautious with what you consume, what you decide, what you act on, because there's going to be no saving system for you. The ultimate responsibility is going to be yours and your children's, and that's it. Really rich. So take that into account. Adam, one last thought here. If you can't find a partner who is perfect, go out there and find a partner who's doing their due diligence to become a great partner, and do the same yourself, because there's still an overwhelming number of men and women who want to get married. I keep hearing from men and women, "Oh, the other side doesn't want to get married anymore." No, both do. Both do very much. And if you're a man who talks about wanting that marriage and commitment, you are instantly in the top 5% of men in the dating pool, who are too wretchedly afraid to talk about marriage and talk about commitment. Women the same. If you can be honest about what you're looking for, and you're actually building toward that, to be ready for marriage, you'll be top 5% of the dating pool as well. You want that? Go out and do it. But do your due diligence and become that person you're supposed to be. What? That's how they spend wonderful, wonderful, wonderful having you here. Honors, what am I? Please, please, please tell the people at home where they can learn more about you and what you're doing, so that they can do everything with you, because I want them to know you as much as I do. Wonderful. Thank you. I will look at one of the cameras, or no, maybe I'll just look at you. Well, I mean, the best way to reach me would be through the way everybody reaches everybody, social media, Instagram. I can't say Facebook, but maybe if you find me there, I'm there too. And of course, you can reach me at natholemoses.com. Now, of course, what we really offer here is a service that which people can actually understand themselves better, and they could do something about it. It's not through running away from the world. I was going to poke Andre when he said pause, and I actually want to say play. So, I want you to be able to play with what's outside and inside, so that you can really discover all of what you're made of, and that's something that we offer here. And I'm a part of every program and every fulfillment. And so, the goal is that you guys really have a better understanding of who you are, so you can bring in who you are made to be into this world, because that's what we all need. Amazing. Adam? You can find me on adamlanesmith.com, or I offer coaching. I have a mentorship community, the attachment circle. I offer courses on exactly how to fix your attachment issues, so that you can become the most integrated and ready partner for your relationships. adamlanesmith.com. I'm also having a retreat called the attachment immersion retreat. Later this year, you can check out our website and see all the information about that retreat. If you want to be the few that is going to attend, I'd love to have you there at this small intimate gathering. Andre, where can they find you? You can find me at @Andrekorokov on Instagram, and you can take a look at what we do at veritascreative.media. And there you're going to learn all about the work we're doing with Adam, and other content creator clients. We're going to talk about relationships. You're going to see clips from this podcast. You're going to learn all there is to learn about how to exist in the modern world of information. So follow us. Thank you for contributing to this episode. Please comment, please share, please tag your friends who need to hear this, and we'll get to see you on the next one. We'll definitely have to have you back sometime, Naftali. This is kind of fun conversations. And really quick, I want to give a shout out to everybody in the audience. Thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting this show. We recently had one of our clips, Andre. Maybe, I don't know if you know this, but it went to 2.7 million views, just as of this morning, in the space of a couple of days. I think that we're going to have a lot more of those that go spicy like that, but it's all thanks to you out there. We could not do this without you. Otherwise, it's three really amazing guys sitting at a table having a discussion, but you help us turn it into a show. So thank you, thank you, thank you for supporting us. Amazing. Gentlemen, fantastic episodes. Audience, see you on the next one. And thank you for watching. I wish you new.
🎙️ Welcome to this powerful and thought-provoking episode of "I Wish You Knew" with Adam Lane Smith, the attachment specialist, and Andrey Korikov, CEO and co-founder of Veritas Creative Media. This week, we're diving deep into the complexities of modern masculinity, the importance of authenticity, and the consequences of rejecting our roots.
Joined by special guest Naftali Moses, this conversation explores why some men struggle to connect with the women they love, the dangers of straying from traditional values, and the impact of societal norms on our ability to form real, meaningful relationships.
In this episode, Adam, Andrey, and Naftali challenge the norms that have shaped our understanding of intimacy, marriage, and respect. This is not just a conversation; it's a call to rediscover what truly matters in our relationships and our lives. Prepare to be engaged, challenged, and inspired to think differently about the world around you.
✨ Moments You Can’t Miss ✨:
👉 The impact of intimacy disorders on relationships.
👉 The dangers of living a life detached from traditional values.
👉 The consequences of rejecting your roots and how it disconnects you from your true self.
👉 The role of open communication in earning respect and fostering trust within families.
👉 How to reintegrate traditional values into your life to achieve deeper, more authentic relationships.
👉 How societal norms and modern media distort our understanding of masculinity, intimacy, and authenticity.
👉 Why embracing vulnerability is essential for building meaningful connections and navigating the complexities of modern relationships.
These are tough topics, but they’re essential for understanding how to reconnect with our roots, embrace authenticity, and build deeper connections. Tune in for a powerful and transformative experience that will leave you questioning and reflecting long after the episode ends. 🎧
If you enjoyed this episode, you will probably love our episode titled ‘Who Are You Afraid To Be? (& Why You Will Become Him)’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv3wIf4IrGI
A special thanks to our sponsor Rugged Legacy Grooming Supply.
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Want to become one of the 2% of content creators who make over a million dollars a year? Veritas Creative Academy offers exclusive access to resources from industry experts. Master the latest trends, learn proven strategies that work, finally hit the 7-figure mark, and become internationally recognized and celebrated: https://veritascreative.media/creator-academy/
Need more help with your attachment? Work with Adam: www.adamlanesmith.com
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Follow Naftali Moses:
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Website: https://www.naftalimoses.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@naftalimoses
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/naftalimoses
Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/naftalimosescoaching/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@naftalimoses
Twitter /X:https://twitter.com/NaftaliMoses
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Follow the “I Wish You Knew” Podcast:
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Website: https://iwishyouknew.show/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theiwishyouknewpodcast/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iwishyouknewshow
Snapchat: https://www.snapchat.com/iwishyouknewpod
Twitter /X: https://twitter.com/iwishyouknewpod
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ncc0MBgm04xTIQ5ByiCGI
Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-wis
