(upbeat music) - Hey there, welcome to Big Blend Radio with your host, Lisa and Nancy, editors of Big Blend Magazine.com. (upbeat music) - Hey everybody, welcome to Big Blend Radio. Usually every second Wednesday of the month, we chat with various authors as part of our programming with our friends, the PR team over at Books Forward, and I encourage you to go to Books Forward.com, but we do have authors on the show and they introduced us to them, so this is a good thing. But today is a really special show. We're gonna be welcoming some new and familiar voices, and we're gonna be talking about Girlhood. We're gonna celebrating October 11th being Day of the International Girl Child. And while we really go, hey, we wanna support our young girls, we're gonna be evolving into some of the complex issues they face around the world. And also look at what we can do in regards to solutions, inspirations, and yeah, we do love our girl power, so we're even creating a music playlist. So check that out in the show notes. Everyone I introduced you to on the show today, their links will be in the show notes, so check it out. And we're very excited. I was looking up the International Day of the Girl Child, and it was created to empower girls and amplify their voices. And it's kind of like the girl version of International Women's Day that celebrated March 8th every year, but it also acknowledges the importance power and potential of adolescent girls and encourages them to open up for more opportunities. And there's a lot more opportunities, and some girls in different countries do not have as many of those opportunities, but there's organizations helping them. So at the same time, the day is also designated to eliminate gender-based challenges that little girls face around the world, including child marriages, poor learning opportunities, violence, sexual violence, discrimination. We want girls to know that there is a place for them in this world, and everyone that is born has a worth and a value, and they're special, and we need to take care of them. So let's start meeting our guests. Our very first one is Chido Asha. She is an author. She was on our show early this spring, and she's the one who put this idea in our mind to bring people on and have this conversation. I encourage you to go to her website. Chido Asha, S-H-E-T-A-L-S-A-H-A-H.com. She wrote the book Shockty Girls. It's a collection of poems that illustrates the stories of 13 unforgettable, powerful Indian women that reflect the diversity of India and its dancepora, and the book includes representations over 10 different industries, women in science, politics, activism, sports, math. It is a beautiful book, and we're so excited to have her on the show. She's also a former educator, so it's good to have an educator. We actually have two former educators here. So welcome to the show. Welcome back, I should say Chido, how are you? - I'm great, thank you for having me today. I'm excited to be here. - Well, you started this. You did it. (laughing) You did it. I love to blame people on good things. It's the best blaming in the world, right? But yeah, I'm very excited to have you back, and we are making that music playlist, you know? We talked about that too, this spring, of having a Girl Power playlist, so I'm excited about that. But yeah, tell everybody just a little bit of your background going from an educator to an author and a poet. - Yeah, so for the past 15 years, I was a middle and high school teacher, and I taught predominantly in girls' schools, both in New York City and in Atlanta. And it was in that space of female empowerment for over a decade where I really started to develop a passion and mission to empower young girls. And I really also witnessed just how empowering being in that environment can be. And so that's where it really all started. And I really wanted to, in this next chapter in my life, continue on that mission, but really empower girls, also girls of color, girls of a South Asian background, like me, through stories that they can connect to and be inspired by. And so having this goal to empower young girls, but then to also address sort of the diversity gap in children's literature, which is so paramount and inspiring young girls to have stories that they connect to, we're two missions that I was really drawn to and hoping to help solve with my book, "Shuck the Girls." - I love it, I love it. And I think you're gonna resonate with our other guests on the show for sure. - Ilana Raya, I was on our show actually a couple times. And I encourage you go to her website, IlanaRaya.com, that's Ilana, and then R-A-I-A. She is an author of two books. Both of them, one is award winning, Etray Girls, who, who do you wanna be? That came out on day of the girl in 2019. And also her second best-selling book is "The Epic Mentor Guide." And that came out on International Women's Day 2022. And with that book is when we met her and what she's doing, she can tell you about Etray. And now she can tell you also if I'm pronouncing that correctly or not, 'cause again, I always have to have this language lesson with these ladies. But welcome back Ilana, how are you? - Great, thank you so much for having me back. And the pronunciation is perfect. The word is Etray, which is the French verb to be. And I should be pronouncing it with so much more French flair, but we are not. But yeah, the company's name is Etray and the idea is to help girls see really early on what they wanna be. And so the heart of Etray is that we take girls as early as middle school directly into companies that they ask to see to meet female leaders face to face. So whether that is Spotify or Google or the Stock Exchange, the girls vote, and they sit in the boardroom and spin in the chairs and raise their hands to ask substantive questions early, which I think, you know, keying off of what Sheila was saying, empowers them and empowers them early enough that they want those hands raised and not their standards lowered. - Did I not see a video of you and some of the girls at the New York Stock Exchange? - We rang the bell, we rang the Nasdaq bell. Yes, we'd been to both platforms, but we were invited last January for National Mentoring Month to actually ring the bell at Nasdaq. So I did that with 20 girls last January. - That is so cool. And I was also, you know, you're one of the first 250 entrepreneurs on the Forbes Next 1000 list. And I love that because I love to see women in the Forbes list because it used to be very male dominated, I think. And it seems to have, we're taking over, move over. So I love to see that. And that's what an honor to be on that list. - It was lovely and unexpected. And I will say Forbes has been so incredibly supportive of what we're doing, the women at Forbes women. You know, anytime I get a request from one of the girls or a school, we'd love to meet someone who works here. It's places like Forbes, it's places like Elevate and Luminary and women networking organizations that are opening their doors and saying, who do you need? I think there's such a great circle and feeling right now of women wanting to empower girls. Anywhere you go. - I love it, I love it. 'Cause what I was saying about Forbes is it's like that old school thought, right? And it's, I think it's really been changed really, what'd you say over the 30 years, 30 years, maybe, maybe less than that or more? - I think so. - Yeah, it's changing. And it's exciting to see and not, and it's exciting for us to all know that it's changing. And I think that's something we may have these bold belief patterns just like what put us all in ruts, right? And it's important for us to seek out these companies and see are they making changes like Forbes? Are they looking at women as being CEOs, top CEOs, management, leadership in those positions? And we really are doing it. We're still fighting for, I think, some equality and pay in some places. But I think it is shifting and it's important, I think for us to know about the companies that are doing it. And is that part of what you do, Alana, is to understand, okay, these companies are embracing it or by you even knocking on their doors, are they thinking, oh, we better start embracing girls at the young age. - It's a great, that's a great question. And I think both are happening. Certainly when we reach out to companies, they see the girls have requested it. There's a brand affinity already. And most top performing companies are so because they are gaining more diversity in the board room. I think the truly smart companies know that to have more women in the board room, you need to save seats for girls. So whether we're asking to come visit or quite often companies will reach out to us and say we saw you went here, would you like to come here? Would you like to come on, as you say, equal payday or women's history month? They're inviting the girls in not just because they're women have great stories to tell, like all of the women on this panel, right? Really sharing stories. These women have career advice. They have stories to share, but also because they see that down the road, they want more women in the room and you need to put girls in the chairs first. - I love that. And you've got a wonderful background as a corporate attorney so don't mess with a lot. It's everything that's really great too for girls. I mean, have you mentored girls looking at going into a legal career? - Right. I mean, they can do anything. And what's interesting to them is to see where lawyers can work. It's not simply a big law firm like where I was, but they've met lawyers at Spotify. They've met lawyers at NBC. They meet people doing really substantive work in places that might seem too cool to them to have lawyers. - Mm-hmm, very cool, very cool. She thought this goes with your book, right? This goes with the Shakti girls. - Yeah. - Like mentoring and moving forward that you can be any career you want. - Absolutely. I mean, I see so many parallels between the work that Ilana's doing and what, you know, the issues that have been front and center on my mind, especially when we talk about like the imagination gap. You know, so the, if you haven't heard the imagination gap is sort of this difficulty in imagining the full spectrum of career options available, particularly for girls. And so when I think about how the imagination gap is still prevalent and what we can do to help address that, to help ensure that girls have the confidence to dip into careers, to step into careers that are male dominated, it's completely in line with the work that Atre is doing. - Yeah, and we're talking about girls going to space too. Let's talk about that. I mean, when you start hearing, listen, I'm one of those, I listen to all the black hole stuff and we're doing this on the moon. It's mostly women, I'm hearing lately. And I think both of you can attribute to that. And Ilana, what are you doing with this international space station like girl, you're ready to come back? - Places like NASA and the space station are so eager to get their resources, many of which are free and all their role models in front of the next generation. And particularly girls, encouraging girls not just to pursue STEM, but the space specifically. So I sit on the education subcommittee for the space station, you know, every two weeks I'm on the phone with these amazing astronauts and payload specialists and people doing such forward looking work and they just wanna make sure that they're seen by girls. So helping girls schools access those resources, bringing girls face to face in my last book in the Epic Mentor Guide where girls were asking questions of women when we couldn't go into companies during COVID. We just started sending questions out. We got so many questions in the space industry and women at SpaceX and NASA and Red Wire Space and the space station national lab all came out of the woodwork to answer. And the girls questions are real and they're coming fast. They're ready for that industry. - This is, you know, I love this turn of tables. It's exciting, I wanna go to our next educator and author Kimberly Berra-Knei. I'm hoping I'm getting this right after all these years. She is amazing. She is the author of the Brave Girls Collection and they're both a middle, well, so far, she's got two in there, but I think she's stretching it to four, it's coming up. Three and four are on their way, but they're middle grade novels. And the first one we met her with was Artemis Spark and the Sound Seekers Brigade. It takes on environmental issues, home issues, issues on the home front. It's also about Brave Girls not being silenced and how to find their voice and confidence like you were both saying and Shito and Alana. Her latest book is "Jet Jameson and the Secret Storm" and that really is going into personal trauma, it deals with sexual assault, not easy for young girls to deal with or for a young voice or anyone, quite frankly. And really looks at raising a voice for basically both books to take on looking at libraries, environmental stewardship, reading, band books, you name it. These are about Brave Girls finding their space and coming into their own. So welcome back, Kimberly, how are you? - Thank you, Lisa. You pronounced my name perfectly, by the way. - Finally, it's the third time's a charm, right? Third time lucky, there it is. And everyone, her website is Kimberly, now I'm gonna get in trouble. Sarah Kanay, and that's Kimberly, B-E-H-R-E-K-E-N-A. See, see why I have a hard time? But anyway, it is so good to have you back on the show and as soon as I knew we were gonna do this, I was like, ah, you have to be on because you are speaking about becoming a Brave Girl. And that's what your books do, really take us into that journey of how a girl really formulates, I really feel passionate about something, how do I stand up and takes them on that journey. And I think for young girls reading this and for adults and boys too, it helps people understand the journey that our youth go through and give some tools because it's a story and that helps. - Yeah, yes. So a little background on me is to start with, I did not take the typical author's journey to becoming an author. I only started writing seriously about in my early 50s or so and the reason being I was teaching before then and I was basically living a different life than I live now for this reason. And that reason is that as a child, I was very shy and fearful and like many children, I experienced trauma, sexual abuse trauma as a kid. And my voice was basically silenced. I mean, my first book, Artemis, Artemis is a stutterer. I had trouble getting words out at all at times. So that's the background for that. And when I finally faced up to my trauma, which was my early 50s, when my youngest son went off to college, I went to a therapist and I met with this woman and was unable to speak about what happened to me. And she said, "Well, is there any way you could write a word or a feeling or a sentence, anything, anything on paper?" And I tried it and everything came pouring out. It was very raw writing then, but it is because of my wise therapist, Judith, that I am now an author. It was very cathartic, the writing in the beginning would need not be seen by anyone, it was just for me. And then as I went along and I was teaching fifth grade and then I left fifth grade to go back to school for writing, I evolved into writing these middle grade books and wouldn't you know it, the protagonists are girls that have trouble speaking up for one reason or another, or in some cases several reasons. Yeah, so basically I am hoping that these books connect with girls that are having trouble feeling seen, that are going through any of the challenges that my protagonists go through in life. But not only for those that have experienced trauma or family difficulties, but also those that haven't. And one of the big things I see is, and I saw in the classroom and we adults often do it, judging a person without knowing their background. So in my books, people think Jet acts very oddly and she gets bullied about it. But once you know what she's going through behind the scenes, I think that can build great empathy in people around them. And especially with kids, if these books are discussed with kids of that age, then I feel like it's an empathy builder for those that haven't been through it. And for others, I hope that it's a connection and that they see hope. Hope is ahead of them, even though they're feeling challenged. And one of the things I came to terms with, I was actually doing a presentation, big auditorium with fifth and sixth graders. And I went in and I said to myself, I am going to be truthful and I'm going to be authentic. And one girl at the end of the program asked me, why did you wait till you were so old to start writing? And I told her, I said I'd been to a therapist and I had been through trauma and she's the one that got me writing. And I had been speaking about Artemis to this group. And as the children left, one girl walked up to me holding the hand of another. And she had some tears in her eyes and she looked at me and she said, I'm just like Artemis. And she said, I have a therapist too and I really, really like her. And then she walked away and the librarian who hosted me looked at me and she said, this is why you're doing this, isn't it? And I nodded and I said, it definitely is. So if I can connect with even one person, one girl like that, to me, makes a difference. And I want girls to realize that even they're just one person, but if they can connect with one other person that needs to connect, then it makes all the difference. - I love it. I love it definitely connects with our next, all of our guests, right? But our next guest Sarah Lamby, she really is going to speak on what girls go through in different countries, especially in Uganda, which was just around the corner from where I grew up in Kenya. Sarah Lamby is from rescueonemore.com. That's the website. She's the director and president and co-founder. And this is a family organization. Her and her family came together to create and it is excellent what they're doing to help girls. Girls in Africa, just going back when I was a kid in Kenya, Nancy. And everyone knows my mom, Nancy. She's taking care of dogs right now, so they don't, yeah. But anyway, she was teaching nuns to paint when we lived in Kenya. Nancy's primarily a wildlife artist. And at that time, was working with Joy Adamson. And Joy Adamson, maybe some of you will remember the movie Born Free, Else of the Lion, but that's who Nancy worked for. And at that, we just got into Kenya, was very young and small and Joy got murdered. And so, next to Nancy's in the middle of Africa, her paperwork for getting in or out of the country or anywhere was a mess. And the nuns basically said, come teach us art, we'll take care of you. And that's what she did. And a lot of the girls that went to the convent and worked and just became nuns were escaping abuse and sexual violence of being sold to men. There's also a lot of mutilation that goes on too in these tribal settings. And those women were going in finding refuge, finding a place to be so that they were sold off to men, married to them, and their husbands would basically rape them every single day. And so, that was kind of the upbringing for me as a young girl realizing what these girls and women went through on a daily basis. It was a very stark-eyed thing. And so, I'm very excited to have Sarah Lamby on the show talk a little bit about her daughter's journey and why they created this organization called Rescue One More. Don't call me, keep putting your website there. But that's good, we want everyone to go there. So welcome Sarah, how are you? - Hi, thank you so much. It's a real pleasure to be here. And before I talk about Rescue One More, I just want to say, Kimberly, gosh, thank you for your courage in just being willing to share your testimony and about what happened to you. And I love how you've used that. Like you have taken this incredible and horrific and traumatic event, this mess in your life and turned it into this beautiful and brilliant masterpiece of your work. And I think just giving voice to what you went through is so inspiring and so encouraging to so many children out there. Just I don't know you, but I'm so, so proud of you and grateful that you did that. My daughter Vanessa, yeah, my daughter Vanessa, who our family lived in Uganda for seven years and while we were there, we ended up adopting three children and one of them was Vanessa. We met Vanessa, she was sitting on the floor of a social worker's office. We were there in the process of trying to adopt a different child and when we got there, he said, I can't help you because I've got to figure out where this child is going to sleep tonight. And we saw this poor like 11 year old little girl just sitting on the floor, curled up in a ball and it turned out she had been sleeping in a police and a jail cell at the police station next door for the last two weeks. And when we asked why, he said it was because she had been sexually abused by men in her family and she couldn't go home and honestly the jail cell was the safest place for a girl like her. And so, you know, obviously we said, well, hey, she can come home with us until you find a safe family for her and we ended up adopting her. But with her permission, she asked us to share her story. When she graduated from high school in 2020 here in the States, she came to us and just said, mom, dad, I really want to use my story to help other children in Uganda who went through what I did. And my husband and I spent a lot of time thinking about that. Obviously we had some concerns with it, but we did a lot of research, a lot of prayer, talking with a lot of people with wisdom in this area. And what we learned is that sexual violence is a huge issue globally and it disproportionately affects girls everywhere. And as we look toward the international day of the girl child, I just think it's one of those, one of the many issues disproportionately affecting girls that we need to really focus on. In the US, one in nine girls is sexually abused compared with one in 20 boys under the age of 18. And in Uganda, that number is, it's actually more than one in three girls is affected by sexual violence compared to one in six boys. So it's a horrible that it would happen to any child, boy or girl, but it is disproportionately impacting girls and it exists in every country. And the devastating impact on the rights and development and dignity and future of survivors can last a lifetime. So our organization, Rescue One More, is working on preventing sexual violence against children and also bringing safety, justice and healing to child survivors. Currently, we're just working in Uganda. And when I talk about sexual violence, I'm talking about sexual abuse, sexual exploitation, sex trafficking, child marriage, pornography, all the things that would come under that. - And it is huge in Africa. As I was saying, growing up in Kenya and we were aware of that and I had to be careful just even running around because there was the trafficking, human trafficking. And that was very prominent. And this is in the 70s, but it's still going on. And the same people that traffic human beings, traffic animals, they traffic drugs, arms, you name it. They will traffic, we've done so many shows on it. And it does happen on our doorstep in the most beautiful little neighborhoods of America. And so I think it's really important what you're doing to shine light, but also do things. So when you talk about your programs, can you give us a little overview of how you do create these pathways for healing and safety so people can understand how you're working and how they can support you? - Yeah, absolutely. Our organization is basically, our model is based on the Children's Advocacy Centers model. And what we do, our program centers around multidisciplinary teams. We call them community action teams. So we go into a community and we basically work in partnership with the leaders in that community, particularly the leaders that would be looking at like advocating for children. So the social workers, lawyers, the doctors that would do the medical exam if a girl were to report some kind of abuse. The police officers who deal with those crimes. The counselors who work with children, medical officials. We even work with teachers and tribal elders. And they all come together and sit on this team and talk about how they can prevent sexual violence in their communities. And then a smaller subset of that team, and this would be like the lawyers, the doctors, the police, the social workers and advocates, will sit together and do case reviews on a monthly or maybe by monthly basis to review cases and determine how they can bring safety, justice and healing to survivors. And we do have some safe shelters. And those are places that, you know, like I was sharing earlier, my daughter had to sleep in a jail for two weeks. And there are no places, systems, processes, programs in place right now when Uganda, other than ours, for a child who's experienced that kind of abuse. So when they find themselves in that situation, if the police, you know, if they go to the police station and they can't go home, the police call us and they've got a place to stay. Well, if they can't go home because maybe the perpetrator is still there and hasn't been arrested yet, or maybe they're experiencing some really severe stigma, which is huge there. Or maybe they've just been rejected by their other family members because of the stigma and the shame. They have a safe place to come to. And at our safe shelter, they receive trauma counseling. Their families receive psychosocial support. They get medical care. They get legal support. So far, we've served about 160 children who've experienced sexual violence. Some of those are still at home or in a safe home and others are on our shelter. We've rescued about 80 children from really dangerous situations. We've arrested 83 perpetrators. And we've educated 30,000 people on prevention and awareness strategies. So we're going into schools. We're talking to children. We're talking to teachers. We're talking to parents and even local leaders about what's going on and what they can do to prevent it. Oh, I love it. And like I was saying about the women I knew in Kenya and the girls, it can be a life sentence for them if they get into the wrong hands of a man. Absolutely. A life sentence. And that's why we saw how the, there was, you know, when we were there, I don't remember there being anything in them when we lived in South Africa. It was also women where, you know, we look at, there was apartheid for sure. But also when Nancy and I first got there, remember Nancy and I going into a restaurant of a hotel that had a bar area, but it was a restaurant. And we went in to go get something and they kicked us out because we were female. Because there was also apartheid against women, no matter your color. And so that has changed a lot, but women were very much in that way around the world. Second class, a third class, you know, just abusive in so many ways. And it's not just about going to a restaurant, that's nothing compared, but something in this country people would go like what, you know, but it happens. And I just, you know, there wasn't that much in South Africa when we were there either. And we left a little bit after Nelson Mandela taking the reins. And they're just, you didn't call the police actually because some of the biggest, and I know when Nelson Mandela took over, he actually got rid of a huge chunk of the police force. And that was all races that made up that police force that he also, it wasn't just a white person or a black person or, you know, or anything like that. It was, they were abusers. And I've seen it, I've seen it with my own eyes. I've seen people being beaten. I've seen, you know, it's horrible. But I don't think there were centers at that timeframe. And I'm going up until the early 90s where there were places for women to run in South Africa at all. And I don't know now, but there wasn't any place, no matter what skin color you were. And I'm not, I don't know what it's like now. Yeah. - Yeah, I think, you know, it's getting better. I think developing nations, especially struggle with this they don't, they may have great laws but they're hard to implement. There's a lot of corruption. Their resources are extremely limited. And then there's the whole stigma and shame thing which crosses cultures but can be particularly significant in cultures where say there's a bride price and then all of a sudden your value diminishes considerably if you've been defiled, you know. So our goal really is to bring an end to sexual violence against children in Uganda, not just Uganda, actually. We're, our vision is to bring an end to it in Africa. So we're starting with Uganda and moving one country at a time. - That's awesome. Africa needs the help. And I think even just, you know, the awareness for anyone is having this conversation for girls. It's, you know, we're going all over the map with it literally and at the same time, looking at all the different things. You know, girls that have been abused, there's a confidence level that can really be taken away from them and then even going into, hey, what am I going to do? A career sometimes is just off the shelf. That's something you don't even think of. So I want to go back over to Shithil and when we talked about this show doing this, I mean, here we are going a little bit, in the darker, darker places of what happens to girls, but I think something like your book, if a girl has gone through some really traumatic events, is something they can hold onto. And, you know, no matter the age actually, 'cause even all the pictures and, you know, the way you wrote the poems, I think this is something that they could hold onto and remember that they can move forward. - Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it is sort of a, you can get doses and nuggets of positivity just from reading the poems that can take with you to help you get through sort of the rest of the day. And that was sort of intentional in writing the poems and writing the stories so that it was a manageable, digestible dose of positivity that, you know, anyone could read whether they have a few minutes or an hour to give them that encouragement and inspiration to get them through the day. And oftentimes, you know, it's those stories that our girls can relate to, those role models of women that she can connect with will help her imagine all the options available to her. Go ahead, yeah. - I was gonna say, as an educator, that you also understand what goes into making changes and having those light bulb movements how to connect with kids to get them to go, okay, I can't do this, I can't think things through. So is that part of it when you're right too is to help them get those light bulb moments even if you're not there holding their hand in person? - Absolutely. And all of the stories of these women, there are moments of a moment in their life where they were challenged, where they had to overcome a hurdle. And it was so important to capture those moments in their stories for readers to see that success doesn't happen overnight and that there are, you know, there are valleys in your climb towards your goal and your dream, there are moments of failure and it's important to understand failure and mistakes are a normal part of your life and to see someone that you're inspired by go through those challenges and overcome those hurdles. - Can I mean a lot to a young girl? - Yeah, I agree. And that brings me to Elana with what you're doing with Etré and even the books and the stories with all these mentors. A role of a mentor I think is so crucial because sometimes, you know, you're, I'm going into the abuse side of things or naysayers could be actually in your immediate family, immediate friends network, but a mentor that's, I'm not going to call them a therapist at all. It's two different things. So do not get those two confused or two different things, but a mentor can kind of help you rise above from the immediate surroundings. And because people, you know, you've got to think back to the day. I mean, you know, my mom, Nancy, her dad was like, no, you can't be this. You can only be a teacher or a nurse and that's that. And she was like, no, I'm going to be a wildlife artist and she did. She did it, you know, she did what she wanted. But if she listened to her family, she would be what she didn't want to aspire to be and not knocking nurses or teachers because that teachers on here too, neither one, but that wasn't her goal or her dreams to do. She, I mean, she basically runs if there's a needle, you know, getting COVID shots for her was a whole other deal. But anyway, so, you know, mentorship can really help girls that are maybe coming from a darker space in their lives. - I think that's true. And I think, and I am awed by this every time you hear a survivor story like Kimberly's, like Sarah's daughters, you know, where they didn't just have an imagination gap in terms of what they were going to do with their lives, but there was just a deep hope gap. You know, how am I going to get past this? How am I actually going to find the strength and the support system to get past this? And so, I'm so grateful to the people that they both found in the systems that are being created around them. You know, I think certainly across the world, we've got girls in six countries now accessing our mentors and reaching out with similar questions. And we did a study last year on the state of girls confidence and it was just in the US, but it was our first national study. And, you know, the results, this is third quarter 22, you know, between the ages of 13 and 18, the percentage of girls who said they felt confident dropped by 35%. And the percentage of girls who say they feel smart at that age in that time drops by 34%. But 86% of girls say they'd be much more confident with a mentor. And as you say, you can define a mentor in different ways at different stages in our lives. It means something very different to a 14 year old than it will to a 40 year old at work. But if a mentor to a young girl is someone who not only champions her, but challenges her assumptions and helps her set the bar higher and then clear it and gives her time and her energy and her network to that girl, if that's what we look at as a mentor, then to close those hope gaps, to close those confidence gaps, the presence of a mentor at any stage is crucial. And if we can connect girls in any part of the world to the right woman at the right time and have her say, I know you can't imagine what your career or your grown up life will be like, but I see so much potential in you right now. And I want you to lean into the things you love right now. Their families may not be listening to them in the same way, but the mentor will. And that helps the girl at the end of the day listen to what she feels aligned with and what resonates deeply with her. And those are light bulb moments that stay on. - And also a mentor has gone through stuff, right? And can explain, well, I've been through this. This is how I handled it, maybe it was good, maybe it was bad, but this is how eventually I pulled through so that there's that level of, because it becomes this thing sometimes in immediate networks of family and especially abusive situations where I had it worse than you, I had this and this, you know what I mean? It becomes this really weird thing and that's where we need therapists. But I think for a girl to go to a mentor is kind of like this clean slate of somebody else that is not there judging them every day, but judging them in the fact of helping to rise them up. And I'm not saying, I mean, families do absolutely support their kids and teachers. And so I'm not going into that negative spin of that, but there's something about having a mentor, a fabulous teacher and educator that can shine a different light. And, but yeah, kind of still hold that flame there. Like, okay, if I'm gonna take the time to help you, you better do it, you know what I mean? There's a, yeah. - Okay. - No, no, I was just gonna say it's accountability. - Right, someone who can write, create accountability. And as you say that authentic look of recognition, I have been where you are. I have stood in those sneakers, those cleats, those sandals would end and I know what it's like to be your age and live in this community or have these expectations set upon you or limitations. And here's how we're gonna challenge that. And here's how you have leadership deep within you already and confidence within you and we're just going to light it. I think those are the things. And I think I see so clearly that all the women on this panel are doing that with the stories they're choosing to tell and the issues that they're spotlighting. And it's just an incredibly powerful thing on a day like day of the girl and every day that comes after it. There's so much power in these stories. - Absolutely, absolutely. I wanna go to Kimberly too, 'cause she's got the Brave Girls collection. We love the Brave Girls. We love Jet Jameson and we love Artemis because they also stood up for things that, oh my gosh, are not gonna be always popular, right? There's always gonna be somebody on the other side going no and that's hard when you're coming from a difficult circumstance because it's another no. You know what I mean, Kimberly? - That's true. - Yeah. - Yeah, but then in a way it's a familiar, you know? You can kind of use some of that for your good 'cause you've already know there's gonna be a negative and you're already understanding negatives at that point. - Yes, yeah, are you referring to the second book? - Both in a way, because even Artemis went through some challenges on the home front a little bit, you know? So when you go through those kind of things and you're going through a challenge and you're not being heard, I think that's what it is, is not being heard. It's a big deal and yeah, to be able to have the strength to raise your voice, even though you know you're gonna get the, you know, the nye-ye and yeah back. - That's true, that's really true. And when Alana was talking about the mentorship and about the fact that these girls have the power in them that the mentor is there to ignite that power, that's exactly the way I feel as I speak through these books to all these girls is that those of them that feel that they don't have a voice or can't use their voice because of whatever power is live without outside of them. It's hopefully through these fiction books and there are more than just mine now that address middle grade trauma and there's one that just came out on sexual trafficking and these darker, more difficult topics are happening to kids every single day, they're living it. So we need to have these conversations around it and hopefully these mentors will also come through. I'm just calling them mentors, but it could be anyone, a parent, a cousin, an older friend, whatever, that will help these girls find that spark, kindle it and feel the power to go forward and speak for themselves. And ultimately, once they find their voice to help speak for others. - I love that, I love that. And can you address that too about what I was mentioning about therapists versus mentor? They're two different things, right? - They are. And I've been seeing a therapist, I've had two wonderful therapists. And I think my first therapist that got me writing was also a mentor because she was just tough and she shared with me things about her life, about her mom's life and what her mother went through. And it was just watching her, she had physical issues, health issues. And it was very empowering for me to see her and to watch her deal with these things. She would converse with me and often give me the words I needed to say to myself to get my own spark lit. So, yes, here's the therapist, but as Alana was speaking again, I was thinking in both my books, the protagonists have mentors that are older, like their mother's age maybe. And that helped them see clearly through all this muddled anguish that they're in at this point. So, hopefully, stories like these will allow kids to see themselves and hopefully connect with mentors that will help them through. - I love it, I love it. Sarah, going to you and then we've got some fun stuff to close off the show 'cause we got a lighten up here a little bit, but Sarah, with what you're doing with Rescue One More, it feels like you're bringing the village to the girls and I just finished recording a podcast where we were talking about how we've kind of lost the village in our country in some ways and that maybe that is a concept that needs to come back. Do you feel that through Rescue One More is that village concept of, it's not a concept, I grew up in the village, I mean, Africa was a village, village in different ways, but I kind of feel like we do need these networks and it goes even to the mentorship, the books. We need these tools, we need the books, we need the creative arts to be part of it, we need the hardcore learning tools to move forward as girls, but when you think about actually needing that village of mentors, maybe therapists, police force like you were talking about, we need a village to raise these girls up for the next generation and the future because these abuse cycles can continue on through their next generation if they don't get that therapy and love and support. - Yeah, I agree 100%. And yeah, our family lived in Uganda for seven years, our children grew up there, but I'm still very much an American. We can take programs and we can take initiatives, but really they're gonna be more powerful and more effective when we place them in the hands of the local leaders and we place them in the hands of the influencers and we empower them to drive a community-based initiative to solving a problem. They understand the local context, the social setting, the community, so much better than we ever will that we just really believe in the power of community-based initiatives and empowering local leaders. And we've seen just an incredible response. There may be some perceptions that like, men wanna keep this quiet so they can continue doing it. And that's far from the truth from what we can tell. We see police officers, we see lawyers, we see social workers saying, we are so grateful you brought this to us so we can implement it because this is a problem. We just don't have the resources to address it. So if there's a police officer who a child approaches and says this is happening to me, that police officer when you've gone to probably doesn't have a car and if they did have a car, they don't have fuel to go and do a crime scene investigation or to arrest a perpetrator or to take the child to the doctor to get the forensic exam. But we can very easily, you know, with like less than $40 equip and give the officer the transportation they need to go and conduct the crime scene investigation, making a risk at the child to the doctor. And so what we can basically what we're doing is kind of working behind the scenes and facilitating where necessary to ensure that that child receives safety and justice and healing. But we're putting the program in the hands of those local leaders to really run with it because they know the nuances so much better than we ever will. And it's been effective. We're seeing, we're not seeing corruption. We're not seeing people get bribed out of jail because of the transparency, the accountability when you sit on a multidisciplinary team, you're a police officer, you're looking across the table at the attorney who's working on the case. And we're the doctor who did the investigation. You can't, you know, your options for corruption are very limited. But yeah, I very much believe in the power of that. And just going back to the mentorship, that is just been really critical for these girls on their journey to healing. We see those mentors lighting a fire. They are indeed the bridge that gaps, you know, the bridge over that hope or that imagination gap that Ilana and Chital were talking about. They are inspiring these girls. And they are enabling them to be to dream and inspiring them and encouraging them to be resilient, to have a survivor's mentality versus a victim's mentality. And that means the world comes to healing and recovering. - I'm so glad you brought up the word resilience. In Africa, that was to me. Everything, that was the word. That was the word of Africa. I couldn't believe how resilient the people were of things that we all saw experience went through and so many different things, you know. Yet you'd see it, you know, somebody, you know, something really horrific happened. And then next thing, you know, an hour later, the child's smiling and laughing and let's play. And I'm like, what, you know. There is an understanding, I believe, of, in Africa, of change is always happening always 'cause it always is, but they understand it pretty well. And also understanding, you know, just every day is now. They live in the present moment in a way that we can learn from. I don't know how to explain it, but resiliency is key. But if you're in an abusive situation at that time, you feel like it's the end of the world and you feel put down and then why me and then, oh my this and the stuff, I'm watching my language, that happens to young girls at that point is debilitating. And like, you know, Kimberly, you were wonderful to speak on this and write about it. It can go into your 50s when you start saying, okay, I better deal with this 'cause it does affect your life and it can affect it in so many ways, not always positive at all. And so it's really important to get help, but for these girls to get help immediately when they're young so that they can have that path moving forward is so crucial because otherwise it sits and it eats and it festers and it's horrible, it's debilitating and it does really most importantly, still your self-confidence. Terribly, and so I really appreciate what you're doing and I want people to know to rescue one more dot com, go help 'em, go there and help 'em as they do this and I, you know, hats off to what you're doing, I know you've gone to, wow, it's like Kenya and when you're talking about police officers and not having cars, it's so true 'cause, you know, the chief of police told Nancy's car in Kenya, but anyway, that's a whole other story, but, yeah, she was always giving lift to cops 'cause they were always pulling over, hey, I need a ride, it's so true, they don't have cars, you know, but I thought that was back in the 70s, so yeah, that's an eye-opener for sure. In closing, we're gonna do this music playlist for girl power playlist, so a lot of you went in the same songs but I wanna go to each of you and just say one of the songs that you chose and why, let's try not to duplicate, but I'm also gonna ask you, for one word, that, you know, if a little girl knocked on your door right now and said, I need a word to improve my life in the future, what would that word be that you would give them? So I'm gonna start with you, Alana. Alana, give me one of your songs that you wanted to play. - One of my songs, one of my songs was "Rice Up" by Andrew Day, whose music I love anyway, but I love it in particular because there is a girl, Caitlin Saunders, who is a fantastic roller skater on Instagram, you can find her as the skate kid and she skated to that during COVID in Washington, DC, in Black Lives Matter Plaza and it was so moving and so spectacular that it made me love the song all the more. - Awesome, awesome, everyone, you're gonna hear that on the playlist if you haven't heard it already. What is your one word? - I think my word would be connect because if a girl can feel less alone and can reach out, there is this invisible but unbreakable thread that is binding women everywhere who wanna help girls. And if she just can be brave enough to connect, reach out, raise your hand, once, ask that one question, women will come out of the woodwork to help you and get you what you need and inspire you, but we don't always know what you need. So just my word, I think would be connect. - Oh, I love that, you know? That's, we don't always know what you need. That's really, really true. I've heard that from friends, even who are parents and they thought, well, I did this with my, you know, son or daughter and I was going the daughter side because that's what I wanted. And then I learned he's not happy with me because that's not what she wanted, you know what I mean? - So I love that you say that everyone, illanaraya.com, R-A-I-A and also etragirls.com, go to that website, all the links that I'm talking about are in the show notes. So just go there if you're listening on Spotify, Google, YouTube, all that, you know. It's in the show notes. I wanna go back to you, Sarah and everyone rescue one more.com. What is your song? - My recommendation is Lauren Daggles, I will rescue you. I just think it's such an encouraging song for anybody going through a difficult time to know that they're not alone and that God is with you and he has a plan for you and your life. And that my word, my one word, kind of ties into that and that would be resilience because, you know, and when you go through something horrible, when you go through a traumatic experience, we all have a choice on how we're gonna respond. Are we gonna be a victim? Are we gonna, you know, sit in self-pity and are we going to ruminate and be stuck in this? Or are we gonna be a survivor with resilience and take this awful thing, like I said earlier, this messy, terrible thing that happened and use it for good and turn it into some kind of masterpiece? And I think we all have that opportunity. We just sometimes need the adults in our lives to tell us, to like speak the words into us, be resilient, you've got this, you can do it. You're gonna get through it. - I love that. Resilience is, it's one of my favorite words for sure. And definitely your daughter did that as, you know, she's a shining example and you and your husband supporting her and family supporting and what you're doing is outstanding. So thank you so much. I wanna move on to Kimberly. Kimberly, what's your song? Oh, did she go? - Yeah, I am, yeah, I am. - Joni Mitchell, I picked a couple songs from Joni Mitchell, Magdalene Laundries, both her songs tell stories of traumatized women abused. And just in her way, in Joni Mitchell's way, the force, the power of her voice, telling these stories I just find very moving. - The Magdalene Laundries, that story, you know, I actually belong to their Facebook group of, it notes crazy, that's a whole other show. That's insane. When you brought that up, I was like, no way. But it's, yeah, that's, yeah. - And Cherokee Louise, are you kidding me? - Whoa. - You know, what's your word? - Well, there are two words already given that are great, before mine. But I think I would choose truth. And in the way that I would encourage the young girl to embrace her story and that it's a worthwhile story and that it deserves to be heard. And to be proud of the fact that she can ultimately speak her truth, share it with others, and hopefully inspire others in so doing. - Love it. It's true, 'cause it's, yeah. You have to face the, hug the monster. And you have to be honest about it. Everyone, Kimberly Barakne, that's it. I'm just saying that.com is a website to go to. And the link is in the show notes. So you can get the spelling right on that. And then we're gonna go over to, shetho shah and her website is shetho-shah.com. Shetho, look what you started, see. Yeah, yeah? Yeah, it's good. - I'm so glad I did this. Oh, you did too. It took, you inspired the idea. But I guess my song would be "Girls" by Rachel Platin. I know there are a lot of Rachel Platin suggestions today. (laughs) - That's cool. - I actually didn't, I discovered this song last week. It came up on my Spotify suggested songs, I guess. And I've always admired her songwriting and they've always struck a chord with me. And when I heard this song and I listened to the words, it really just, I stopped everything I was doing and I kind of melted. And she talks about how girls were born to run. I think in her chorus, she says like to reach for the stars and chase the sun, that you're wild and free. And so the lyrics in the song, it just, it really reinforced the why behind what I'm doing and kind of gave that, you know, light lit that fire again and found it incredibly moving. And then if I had to choose one word and I'm gonna cheat, I'm gonna use two words. I guess it's one, authentic or be you, would be, I guess, a word. - Authentic you, yeah. - Authentic you and to, you know, be unafraid to stay true to who you are from when you were a child navigating through your teen years into your adult years and to stay with, what gives you true joy and purpose in life and, you know, recognizing that we were all born with unique gifts and put on this earth for a specific reason and to not let society get in the way and telling you what you should do or what you should not do. And that only you have the power to make those choices. - And thinking about those dreams as girls like, and then you've got to think going back to you, Kimberly, like, you know, you go into teaching, you're a parent, you know, do all these things. And so here's that little monkey on the shoulder, right? And I like monkeys though, but, you know, that nagging little devil, let's put it that way. It's important to remember those childhood dreams of who you are to not let those traumas take our soul. And I think all of you women on the show today have reminded us, even as adult women, to not let the devil steal your soul. Whatever the devil is to you, you know what I mean? Whatever bad has happened, use it as the stepping stone to resilience, like Sarah's talking about, use it as a stepping stone to truth and go strong, go for your dreams, don't let it steal your soul at all. Thank you all so much, really appreciate the work you do, the writing you do, the mentorships. And by the way, Shitho, Ilana has a contact for Spotify if you need more playlist recommendations, I'm just saying. - I'll take it, absolutely. - Well, thank you so much. And we want to thank Books Forward. We've been working with them for years and they really introduce us to the best authors and you've got three of them on the show today. So go to booksforward.com and keep up with us at bigblendradio.com. Thank you so much, ladies. - Thank you. - Going power. - Thank you for having us. - Thanks, everybody. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
