The Notable Talks Show
Ladies should we really say that?
They may not like this one, but it hits different when those who are accountable to you are bringing me toxic thought patterns or ideas that they immediately have access to due to the amount of podcast that are available to us spreading paralysing perspectives on important life issues.
Let’s become more mindful of how what we say not only creates a narrative of us, but how what we say should have a consciousness of care to those who are listening to us!
- Broadcast on:
- 12 Oct 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
What's up? What's up, family? It's been a couple weeks since I've released a video or podcast, whatever you want to call it. And just because I've been busy, been tired, I'm just pregnant, you know. But yeah, nice to be back, nice to see you all. And yeah, I'm just, I'm just super excited to be fair, as I say, pretty much every episode. Because when I release a podcast, I'm just quite intentional about what I say. And I believe that there is value that, you know, that within what I have to share, in what I have to say. And I'm hoping that this value will be extended to you, my listeners, and for those who, you know, are somewhat interested in what I have to say. And hopefully you kind of receive some sort of benefit in terms of this perspective shifting, maybe becoming more mindful, maybe just, you know, opening yourself up to another view, challenging your own perspective, things like that. That's kind of like what I hope for my podcast. And yeah, just kind of give you fresh opinion on things that I hope I believe to be somewhat grounded and worthy of your attention. Today, today, I want to talk on just kind of like, okay, today, okay, today, I really want to address and speak to this narrative that is going around, speak to this type that is going around, as it relates to having a platform and pretty much just saying whatever you want to say. And you know, this can be quite controversial, because you know, it's a free country in terms of we've got free speech. But I think free speech doesn't mean have no boundaries. Let me say it again, free speech doesn't mean have no boundaries. Okay, having a platform doesn't mean just simply every lie. Okay, having a voice doesn't mean you should always be. Okay, just because your biggest popular doesn't mean it's right. Yeah, it is, it's, there's so many aspects and there's so many thoughts that you can kind of have to just anybody and anybody saying whatever they like. And I think, I think a lack of accountability is just creeping in. And you know, this podcast is all for my ladies, it's all for my girls. Yet this information that I share on the pod can definitely be universal to men and women as well. So whatever, but I'm always going to keep my girls accountable, because if no one does it, then no one is held, you know, to a standard. And then we need standards guys. And I think that's what is creeping out slowly but surely, or it's either good standards are creeping out, and trash ones are coming in. And as a woman myself, and as a woman who's carrying a child, now, who's going to have a girls at some point soon, you know, they say that, you know, silence is also agreement. You know, you know, you got to choose, you know, hot or cold, you can't be in the middle, you've got to have a stance on something. If that is something that you believe that you have the space, the conviction to do, if you don't, then that's, you know, to each their own. But as for myself, somebody who I somebody who deems themselves as, you know, a women's advocate as it relates to just, you know, their, their growth, their identity, their purpose, supporting women, it'll be remiss of me to come across things that people that I support, that I mentor, that I help, it are listening to, or is listening to, I'm not saying something. Okay. So when I was talking about, you know, just because you've got a platform doesn't mean that you should be less mindful. It's, it's true. Just because you have an audience doesn't mean you have, you shouldn't have any safe boundaries. Just because you have a voice, it doesn't mean that you should always speak and say something. And just because something is popular, it doesn't mean that it's right. And the reason why I say these things is because I'm looking at people within my age, my generation, my age, I'm 27. And I relate to, I'd say I relate to my younger ones because, you know, I work with, with younger girls and so forth. And they come to me, which means they see some type of relatability. I try to keep myself at least somewhat aware of what's going around or what's listening, what's popping and all that stuff. Yeah, at the same time, I'm seeing people all of them, I'm just like, bro, like, sis, come on now. Like, you're meant to be an example to me, you know, you're, you're a example, I would not want to look at. So you can have an ex, you can be an example, but whether you're a good example, or a bad example, you choose your side of the coin. But that's the way I'm getting today. I want to really touch on what's your tongue. Now, again, these, these comments that I'm making, depending on your culture, depending on your background, depending on what is traditional to you, what is normal to you, this may not seem like something that is universal, because we all have where we come from and what is accepted and what it's not. So I'm not trying to set a president for how every single person should be. But I do believe we have a moral compass. And just because something has been accepted, whether it is in traditional or that it is in culture, doesn't necessarily mean it's right. If somebody's culture is all full murder, murder up this person, murder up that person, my shot this person doesn't mean it's right. Look at how widely accepted it is. There is a moral compass that I believe that we all have been given by God, a consciousness, what is right and what is wrong. And there is a point where you can see away from your conscience, you can see away from your moral compass, where it's like, you know, like, what's his name hit a lot? He just seared away from it. You can't tell me he, you know, as a kid, he just came out of the women was like, yeah, I'm going to murder every, every person that may find that Lord stand with my values. You can't tell me he popped up a little like that. Then you become trained, you become wired, you become shaped, and then you frame your reality based on what it is that you have been taught, what you've been, what has been your lived experience. You know, so I'm not saying anything as a this should be the case. But what I am going to share is what what I am doing is putting out a perspective that I believe can benefit everyone. So when I talk about like watching your tongue, I took I look at it from two lenses, I look at it from from a place of number one, you or us being accountable to what we say, but also being accountable to to others as it relates to you've got women, you've got girls who are listening, we're in a generation now where we're listening to podcasts, we're listening to videos. It was another lens of actually wanting to learn. We've got a society that likes insight, that likes information that likes that gossip a lot more. And that's why I'm sure there are so many podcasts coming up because we're seeing just how much people actually want to listen to people. But we have to remember that we influence people by what we say. So if we're not if we don't hold any personal accountability, any personal boundaries, any personal awareness, that means we're saying that everything I'm saying is worth putting out there worth my younger self listening to, worth the younger generation listening to me because it's going to genuinely benefit and enable them. I think we've come up with we're in a society where we literally just work on it, say where everyone and don't realize the consequences that it could have on somebody who's listening to us that maybe never even had that type of mindset. But because of your toxic or your warped perspective on a certain thing concerning life, you've now spoken to an area that maybe they were looking for answers for. Your toxic mindset has now influenced this younger person's mindset. And now they start committing things and doing things that they never even thought about before because of what you have said. So I want to talk about first about personal accountability when it comes to our sharing insights or knowledge and things like that on socials. It's okay for us to share. It's okay for us to have our opinions. But it's about that mindfulness in what we are saying. If you're spreading certain ideologies, if you're spreading certain philosophies or thoughts and things like that, really think about how could this negatively impact the person that I'm that is listening to me. And I think that line of care for others when it comes to the things that we are saying needs to come back into our mouths and our hearts, and our hearts when we are talking on certain platforms. I came across a podcast, not even a podcast, if it was a podcast clip, as I was on Instagram. And I was like, just going for one of my friend's stories, or not my friend, but just, you know, account acquaintance online. And somebody I'm not supposed to tell about marriage is sex work. So, you know, sex work can be things like prostitution and things like that, selling your body. And someone had the audacity to have a, I think it was easy meals. She had a guest on there. And this guest said that marriage is sex work. Now, I've got girls that I'm helping supporting, you know, just because they're their own being, listening to coming across insight like that. Now, I don't think this girl was even married. I didn't bother to listen to that podcast because the title in itself and her opinion there and then I was like, shut off, wherever. It was like, you don't even know what you're talking about sis. But at the same time, the fact that I'm even talking about this on this podcast is because it has a negative impact. You're spreading knowledge or you're spreading your personal wisdom and warping the nature, or shall I say you're sending your sending mixed messages concerning something that God created and describing it as sex work. So, I'm married, so I'm a sex worker then. My past is married. They're sex workers. Maybe your parents were married. Are they sex workers? So, basically your parents are prostitutes. I'm a prostitute because I'm married. They're prostitutes because they're married. They're sex workers. That's what it is. Like, do you understand why you have to be careful about what you say? When you make statements or when we make statements as individuals, you are held accountable. It doesn't matter if you delete the video or the post. You will be known as the girl that said marriage is sex work. And you might say, oh, I don't care. I don't really care. It's my opinion. But you are giving people a reason to create a narrative about you based on your lack of knowledge, based on your perspective, based on your idea of life, probably influenced by upbringing, maybe the type of work that you're involved in, maybe the type of lifestyle that you desire. I don't know. But for somebody to articulate and say that marriage is sex work, clearly speaks to their ignorance of what marriage actually is. Just because something involves sex does not mean that it is sex work. And I'm saying this because I'm speaking to the girls that that video has negatively influenced. That knowledge has negatively influenced. And it's not everything that you have to comment on. But I listen to my conviction. And because I care about my women, I speak about identity purpose and relational intelligence, when I hear stuff that has impacted the girls that I'm speaking to or that is of my reach, I have to address topics if it's now negatively impacting them. And this is where, obviously, I'd be accountability of being mindful of who you're watching and who you're listening to comes in. But I came across it just because I was on social media. So yes, there has to be a boundary. But I'm just also talking to those who are in places that have platforms. When you're making concrete statements and timeless statements, make sure you actually know what you're talking about. Make sure you understand the institution of which you are speaking about. Does that make sense? So yeah, it's like we have to make sure that we understand how has what I just said, negatively impacted the people who are actually married married. How is that negatively impacting the people that desire to be married? How is what I'm saying, even negatively impacting how people perceive me? You know, people really do comment and say, yeah, they don't care what people say in society. They don't really care. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. That's why you don't just come out on podcast with your bare face. That's why you don't come out on your videos just with your bare face. You care about something. That's why you don't just come out on your videos naked because you care about what people say about you. So let's really, you know, take off these layers and the lies that say we don't care about what people's opinions are. Yes, we do. And we should, because we're meant to be reflecting our values, we're meant to be reflecting if you're a believer while God. So you should care about what people say to you, but you shouldn't live for people in that regard, if that makes sense. So that's just one aspect of how, you know, things that are said can, you know, you're held accountable to what you say, but also you have now influenced somebody ever in a positive or negative way, and that the care of what is being, the care of others should be considered when we're making and posting certain videos. So that's number one, as it relates to watching our tongue is, yeah, you're accountable to yourself, and you've got people who are under your voice if you've got a platform. So be more mindful as it relates to that. The next one I want to talk about is just because you have an audience doesn't mean that you have no safe boundaries. And I'm not, and again, this is all to do with just how we can be more mindful with watching our tongue, if we do have platforms as such as this. And even if we don't have platforms just when you're in conversations and group conversations at school, at work, in college, in uni, whatever it might be, have safe boundaries. This is again, we do have freedom of speech, but doesn't just because you have freedom of speech doesn't mean that you shouldn't have safe boundaries. The Bible talks about, you know, I believe it's a kingdom without walls is, you know, you're open, you're just open. So if you're just saying anything, you're open for wars, you're open for backpacks, you're open for anything. And I'm sure we want to try and be as bulletproof as possible, as protected as possible, which means that we should aim to strive for, you know, safety in what we're saying. So I'd say for those who are even the listeners, have a boundary of what you want to take in. There's not everything that we need to be taken in. There's not every clickbait kind of highlight that we're seeing that we need to be invited in. It's just an invitation at the end of the day. We are the ones who make the choice to tap in and see what else is being said. So we have to make sure as listeners, but also as those who have platforms to talk that we have a safe boundary line of things that we won't go further in. And again, this is now me trying to just advise or suggest having a care for those that are listening to us. Some people don't care about people. So they're just going to do whatever they want to do. But for those of us who actually care about people, let's make sure that we are, you know, having a safe boundary line. The next one, as I mentioned, just because you have a voice doesn't mean that you should always speak. Trust me. I'm, I'm even learning that for myself, especially when I'm driving. Just because I have a voice doesn't mean I should always speak. I'll be honest. The other day I was driving and trust me, I generally have patience. I'm a patient person, but I don't know what it is about driving. That just decides to awaken the beast of impatience. And in that, why should I do know why? It's because driving for me called so many values of safety, reassurance, life or death. So when I'm driving on the roads, I'm not the speed type. I'm not the person that's going to try to cut you up because I care about safety, but not everybody holds the same values as I do. So when I come across somebody who's actually cutting me up or a pedestrian that's walking across the road and you see me turning right, it irks me to another level because I'm expecting that you should care about your life too. You should. Not everybody's in the space too, but there should be some intelligence of I should really wait for this car to finish turning before I cross. And you know, I extended the third finger on my hand to the person because they tried to, you know, come for me when they were the ones doing the most. Immediately I said, Lord, I asked for forgiveness. I messaged my husband. I said, babe, I cannot lie. I just extended my third finger to an individual who was crossing the road when I turned right. Is that right? Is that holy? Is that God leave course not? Am I going to make a mistake? Yes. But I've identified that this is an area that America needs to work on. You know, say I'm not a Christian because, you know, I did that, whatever. When I become vulnerable on this platform, I have to expect that people might view me in different ways. But it's not to justify what I've done. I've stated what I've done, been accountable and I'm aware of that this just needs to have work. It's not every time I would do that, but in that situation, it just happened to be a response. That's not even my go-to. I didn't even swear. But that one there moved mad. So yeah, it's just, you know, in the context of just because you have a voice as it means, you should always speak. That's not even just vocally because we speak in different ways. There's sign language, there's linguistics, there's attitude, there's facial expressions, there's, you know, using gestures. You don't always have to speak just because you have a voice. Know when to speak. Know when not to speak. Read the room. Read the demographic of people that you're speaking to. Read society. Society is an abusive, it is a judgmental society. When you say something and you get backlash, be prepared to fight society or just, you know, hold it down. That's kind of like what I say. If I get backlash on this, it's because I'm aware that people are going to have their certain views on what I say, but it's either I fight society or I'm more mindful about what I say. And even the things that they do fight that I was mindful about, people will be people, but it's just having that extra consciousness about, you know, how we use our voices. And lastly, just because something is popular doesn't mean that it is right. Hello, somebody. You know how many things spread and get popular and, you know, people start changing up their social stance or their personal ideas, because of something that's trending. Are you okay? Brother, sister, we can't afford to be running with the wind every second, just because something is popular and popping does not mean that it's right. It doesn't mean that it's worth you changing your value system for. It doesn't mean that it's worth you changing your rationale and your view of life for, just because it is popular. I've seen things that are popular. I'm just like, I don't care. I've got my personal convictions for life. So it's just making sure that you're not that gullible. I might use the question yourself. I'm not the type of person that when something breaks out, and everyone's talking about it, and I jump on the wagon because those are the things that could have made you stray away from actually who you are as an individual and stray you away from the personal values that you uphold. So be mindful of just because something is popular. It doesn't mean that it's right. Just because something is trending, it doesn't mean that it's for you. Does that make sense? So yeah, just keep in mind these things when you're either talking to people when you're discussing things that, just to be that self-aware, to assess, keep in mind how what you're going to say could impact those listening and showing a regard for people. I think that's what it's about. It's showing a regard. People have something to say all the time, but at least if you know within yourself, I've considered these things before I've shared something. I've considered these things before I say something. I've considered these things before I recorded this video and so forth. Then call, at least you have within yourself, like I did the work, but if you're not considering these things, I'd advise us to just begin to do so. So that's just all I have to say as it relates to watching our tongues as it relates to these social platforms, and making sure that especially for my girls, women who are on platforms talking, we all come from different backgrounds and views and so forth, but just have some mindfulness. That's all. Because I'm not a sex worker. Not a sex worker. Okay, I have to just come back there because it's so wild how far we can go. But yeah, let's not go any further. This was just a quick episode because it's something I saw and I thought it would be relevant to my demographic of individuals. So yeah, if you have any views as well, definitely share your thoughts on that. And anything you would love for me to kind of touch on and kind of go deeper on, definitely, definitely let us know in the comments, in my reposting, dropping me a message, whatever. I would love to kind of like talk on topics that people find interesting as well. But until next time, I love you all, and we will speak soon.