The Daily Mind
Season 16. Episode 389: First date red flags
(audience applauding) Hey, what's going on everybody? Good afternoon. Happy Saturday. Happy weekend. Welcome, welcome, welcome to a new podcast of the Daily Mine, currently streaming live on TikTok. How was everyone's day today for me? Yeah, it would've been a sad day. Yesterday, your boy almost got canceled on TikTok, just only a few episodes into the show. It happened during a live stream that I was doing yesterday and it was almost going to be the longest episode I've ever done. Missed that mark by one minute. The longest episode I've done so far was an hour and five minutes. I had to finish at an hour and four. What happened yesterday, the stream was going pretty well. It was one of those, it's always, is there such a stupid question episode? And what happened was, somewhere towards the end of the show, the live stream gets cut off and I get hit with a message saying that I've been cut off because of misinformation. Blue my mind, it pretty much upset it because I was like, what did I say? Or what did I do that was wrong? And of course, what I normally do is that before I upload the episode on the Spotify and other platforms, I listen to the episode. And you know, this is just not me saying this, but I'm listening to this. And I'm like, where and what point did I say anything that was misinformative? I listened, I listened and I didn't catch anything. But like Facebook's algorithms, TikTok may have misconstrued something that I said because I'm pretty sure nobody reported me. I don't think so, but I think the algorithm misconstrued something that I said and took it as if I was spreading something crazy, which indeed I wasn't. So immediately I went and I basically appealed it. Within minutes, they reversed the appeal. So I was actually pretty surprised. They said it could take up to 24 hours. And I can't imagine waiting that long just when it'll be like you're screwed. And the ban was gonna be for a week. It was gonna be lifted by Friday. So I was like, oh man, here we go. But it was lifted and shout out to my boy, Mario. You may have had something to do with it 'cause I remember you posted something to TikTok saying to kind of release me from TikTok jail. Just imagine you've been only doing this streaming for a week and you already get thrown in TikTok jail. And then I was like, there are people posting and saying a lot worse than anything I may have said in these past few episodes. And they're still able to go do what they do, but little old me come along and it's like, I don't know what you said, but we're just gonna kind of, we're gonna just cut you off. So I thought about it and I was like, all right, I'm not gonna new to the show. I'm gonna be me. I'm just gonna have to tip to around certain things for the sake of the show and for the sake of you people who watch the show or perhaps listen to the show on Spotify or whatever. But I just gotta walk everything. I was just like, wow, I'm already canceled. I didn't even say anything. But I'm back though and I'm glad that I'm back. I'm back streaming, giving you guys whatever today's episode is, which you will find out in a minute. I finished running on my errands so far for the day, going to the gym afterwards, I got some new brake pads, the car runs and stops, smooth, everything's good, the weather's nice. But yeah, other than that, let's get into today's episode. So today's episode, well, first I was brainstorming whatever ideas I write on paper. I get some of you guys' feedback. I write on paper, trying to figure out what's the next day episode gonna be. Well, my life inspired me with some things you guys inspired me. And then I came up with something just inspired by the drive that I've taken. A lot of the episodes that I do is inspiration from what I see in here during the day, hence the daily mind. So as I'm driving around, like here in Clarksville, we got a lot of casual restaurants out here. I mean a lot. And they are really filled up during payday. Everybody gets paid, people go on dates, all this stuff is happening. So I thought about it. I was like, you know, first dates, right? First dates, but not in the sense that, you know, which restaurants the best restaurant to go to. I think I've done an episode like that a while ago. I was thinking more in the lines of red flags on the first date. First date, red flags. I mean, first dates can be really, really tricky. And first dates can go in so many different ways. It may lead up to a second date. It may not even lead up to a date again. It can lead to marriage. It can lead to anything. My first date is super important. The first date will make or break. A lot of people, I don't think, take first dates seriously. And honestly, a lot of people don't really pay attention to the people that they're on the dates with or even the atmosphere. Because the atmosphere plays a big role in the dates all together. A lot of people don't realize that, you know, it's the person, yes, of course, but the atmosphere. And there's a lot of red flags that people just don't catch. So in the spirit of things, I find some red flags from actual people that put their story out there and basically was like, and I guess kind of warning everybody else what the red flags were. So of course, now I'm gonna get into the episode of, let's see what it's titled here. It is titled, it's from Buzzfeed. I did a previous episode recently from Buzzfeed about, oh, fast drive-through issues, like people fasten out at the drive-through. But in this case, it's red flags of first dates actual testimony from people talking about their experience for first dates. Maybe we might learn something from this, maybe we may not, let's see. Now this article was posted about two years ago. I mean, it still holds up at age well. It's saying people are sharing first date behaviors that's instantly set off red flags and you're probably doing some. You may not even realize it that you may indeed yourself be giving red flags. Listen, in this life, you can't please everybody. So you can only do the best you can to do so. However though, yeah, you only do the best you can. So I'm gonna get into it. This was written by Brian Galindo. It says dating is fun, but honestly, it can also be a lot of work too. Not only do you have to put yourself out there, but you also more often than not have to go on a few bad dates first. Before you find that someone you wanna see again, it's like you're in a coal mine and you're crushing all those coal rocks to find that one diamond, which eventually you will. Chrissy, thanks for joining. I think you're gonna be in for a really good treat and I do appreciate all the likes of course. Thank you, thank you, thank you. All right, so of course they ask people from Reddit. Reddit is a very interesting place. It said a Reddit user had a thread go viral and they asked the Ask Reddit community what first date behaviors are a deal breaker. So I got a nice doozy of a list. Ben, thanks for joining, man. I hopefully stick around. You got time. The weekend's going good though. Your boy almost got canceled yesterday by TikTok, but and I got some new break pads today. So I guess it's going all right. All right, so I'm gonna go down the list of actual testimonies of people who read flags, right? And you probably might want to bust out a pen and paper if you're not married or whatever. Hell, I guess even when you're married, you go on a date you can still throw a red flag or two. Maybe, I don't know. No particular order, but I'm gonna start at number one, okay? Number one, showing up late and not texting ahead of time. You're not playing it cool. And if you're 20 minutes late without saying nothing, so just imagine you show up and you just sit at the table all notch a lot, not a word about, hey, what happened? Why you late? What held you up? Nothing, just you sit there and you're like, hey, I want some bread rolls. All right, this person said, I went on a first date about a year ago. We met for lunch on a work day for me. She was 30 minutes late, and then for some reason parked three blocks away, even though the place had an empty parking lot, which took her another 15 minutes to walk. During lunch, she mentioned she was late because she had to stop at Target and Starbucks, which really pissed me off. Of course, there was no second date. I don't understand that. She parked three blocks away from the restaurant. You stop at Starbucks, you're about to eat. Why would you stop at Starbucks? Obviously, she's probably one of those people. Yeah, exactly, she knew what she was doing, I guess. She was just like, you know what? Just in case it doesn't work out, let me just go get a crap a cappuccino latte, which is whatever. And then like, whatever, just gonna just, yeah. I definitely want to be a second date after that either. I mean, why waste time? All right, number two, forgetting to take off your wedding ring. Ooh. (laughing) I don't think there was a second date after that. I highly doubt that. You show up to a date wearing a wedding ring. If he or she does not catch that red flag, because let me tell you something, if I was single, right? And some, and I went on a date and I see this person with a ring on. That's, you know, one thing about me, even no matter where I go, I'm like Denzel Washington, the equalizer. You know how he carefully, but quickly analyzes everything within a matter of seconds? That's me. I spot every little detail about people and where I'm at. The ring would have definitely caught my, ah, thanks man. I kind of, I'm doing the best I can. Yeah, thank you. I just got to shave my head now. But I'm looking at everything. The wedding ring would have definitely caught my eye and would have been like, well, what's the story behind that? And of course, she probably would have given an excuse such as, I don't know. Yeah, we're going through something or maybe she doesn't care or whatever. I don't know, but you got to look for things like that. You know, look at tattoos. Look at, 'cause tattoos tell a story too. If she has a lot of tattoos of cats, obviously she loves cats. Obviously when you go to her house, you might have cat of a different type 'cause it's cats everywhere. Obviously she's a cat person. You've got a tattoo that tells a story. I had a tattoo that tells a story, but I have other tattoos. Of course, that tells a nicer story. Yes, I have a Hello Kitty tattoo. That's a story I'll get into. It is actually, it was meant as something, it's meant as something new now. It was actually real quick now. This was actually a graffiti piece I've done. And then I turned it into something, but I'll explain that later. And I know what tattoo you're referring to. Needless to say, that story and chapter is closed. You got a good tattoo that tells a story. Of course, I mean, I got some good ones now, you know, but that first one, no, that was more of a, I was more of a nightmare. That was a nightmare. All right, number three. Lacking respect for service and other working people. That's gotta be kind of annoying. Like, you know, you go out on a date, whatever it's to some restaurant, whatever that place is. And the person you have is just being rude to everybody. I've seen that on a TV show too. And it's disgusting. It says, I read a quote by Dan Berry once that said, "A person who is nice to you, but not nice to the server, "is not a nice person and it's very accurate." Because just imagine, you're on a date with someone, this person is like cursing out the waiters, the staff, and they're just rude. If they can do that and be that way with them, just imagine eventually how they're gonna be with you. Now, of course, it's not gonna show on the first date, but eventually it will show, and then you got a problem. If they seem to have a little anger issue or some sort of impatience on that first date, that's gonna tell you a lot in the future. If they're impatient with people around them, they're gonna be impatient with the little things that you do. That's something to pay attention to. Number four, taking me to a multi-level marketing seminar. What kind of, what, what, that's not a, okay, the movies, a restaurant, a carnival, a marketing seminar to your first date. You know what, that's gonna be an episode, first date locations that just some of the worst first date locations. That right there, listen, folks, if you're single and your date takes you to a marketing seminar or they take you to your Walmart huddle, let's say they work at Walmart and they take you to the morning huddle for your date, it's time for you to leave, it is time for you to leave. All right, number five, that must be a work relationship. It might be, it might be, you know what, they might work in the same place, and somehow they got this seminar happening at their job and they were like, "Yo, you know what, forget the movies, let's go to the seminar together." That's bad news, especially since you work together. All right, number five, constantly being on your cell phone seriously, man, that is so uncool. Quote, "Yeah, I don't get this. I don't even spend time on my phone when I'm having a drink with a friend. Can't understand why people are tweeting or whatever during the day." Now, this even happened with married folks like myself. I find myself, me and my wife will go somewhere and I'm on my phone and she does it too. We both do this, but again, we also been married for 12 years as well, almost 12 years, actually in the next couple of weeks. But yes, that's annoying too, like your attention should be focused on the person in front of you. And this goes beyond just dating. We do this with everybody, like we just, I don't know, we focus so much on our phones. We forget how to communicate with people. We forget how to look people in the eye and be like, "Hey, you know, like, hey, how you doing?" We forget this. I'm telling you, this generation, we're gonna have like serious back problems. We're all gonna be hunched back by the time we get this generation, by the way, by the time we get old because our neck is down doing this all day, looking at the phone instead of looking in front of you. But no, that is annoying though. You know, if you go with someone, pay attention, you can read a lot from a person's face. But if you're sitting there looking at your phone, you can't tell nothing. You can't look in the face and tell if like, they're interested in you, they get that certain spark in that eye, the way they talk, facial features, you missing all of that. If you are looking at the phone the entire time, look up and pay attention once in a blue. Number six, introducing me to your boyfriend. What? Quote, quote, been there. Do you mind if my boyfriend joins us? It won't be weird. I promised she was wrong. So let me get this straight. She is talking to this dude like, you know, like she's single, but yet invites her boyfriend to the date. Now she either has these other intentions in mind. Maybe some or she's just completely bad shit out of her mind. Yes, too many dogs for one, but absolutely. Too many dogs for one bun. Absolutely. But no, that's, that's, that's dirty work right there. I mean, like you have a boyfriend unless there was like, and see, this is where you got to pay attention to signals. Maybe she didn't quite get the memo about this dude liking her, you know, probably just, or just, unless the dude didn't realize he'd been friend-zoned. And he might have taken it as, yeah, I got her, but not realizing, hey, I'm gonna bring my boyfriend along. I would have been like, nevermind. We're good. Thank you. Have a nice day. I would have just not even bothered. It's done at that point. Number seven, okay, this one here. This one is very important. What happened in the past stays in the past. Number seven, they won't stop talking about their ex. Okay. There's a couple of instances where you could throw your ex in. But don't, don't do any comparisons. Maybe a story or so, like, hey, you know, my ex, we went to a place, don't even say that. Don't even talk about your ex. Absolutely a red flag. Just don't mention your ex at all, because then it becomes a, a comparison of sorts. And then before you know it, it'll be like almost like you never got over your ex. Just don't do it. Oh, let's see. Damn, it's hot in this bitch. Number eight, if he comes to pick you up and peas, oh, yeah, I didn't read the other part of that. My ex had bigger oily beef. Yeah, don't mention that in there either. That's, don't, don't compare none of that shit, especially sexual. From that, it said he had X call him four times within 15 minutes. Yup, nope, right out of that one. So they were on the date, call 15 minutes, every 15 minutes. Don't know why. Number eight, if he comes to pick you up and peas in your driveway before you leave. Why? You know, you could have just went inside the bathroom and did that. You didn't have to pee in the driveway left. You know, these things actually do happen. That's the scary part about it. It actually happens. Number nine, starting the date by saying that you've cleared your entire weekend, just in case the date doesn't, just in case this date works out and I'm free, no pressure. I'm gonna read that again. Starting the date by saying that you've cleared your entire weekend, just in case this date works out and I'm free, no pressure. Wow. So it's like you're being kind of condescending. Like, you know, I, I, you know, skipped out on my grandmother's appointment just so that I could be here with you. Red flag, red flag, quote, or bring in his overnight bag into your house when he picks you up. Not a big deal, it's whatever. What do you mean, I should leave? Yeah, on the first day you already talking about moving in, you're already bringing an overnight bag. Your intentions are very clear. Just not the right intentions. Number 10, quote, "I think when they don't even ask you about yourself, "I had a date that would be constantly talking about her life "and friends and whatnot. "I would ask her questions too, "but she never wants to ask anything about me." Okay, so then you dealt with somebody who was extremely self-centered. That's a red flag right there because everything is always going to be about them, them, them, and them. You're going to come second. You might as well be dating yourself. Don't even bother. Number 11, number 11, making me do all the work conversation-wise. I don't mind being the lead driver, but you need to at least pull your own weight. I've been on some dates that felt more like interviews. I would try everything I could to get an actual conversation going, but they ended up being Q&A sessions. You know, that sounds like you were just on the casting couch. That's what that sounds like. If you're on a date and it's just nothing but questions being bombarded. Now, it's nothing wrong with being curious to know the person that you're trying to court. But if it feels like a Q&A, you might as well just be on a casting couch and just, I don't know, you might as well leave. They're asking too much. Like, are you the feds? Do you want my social security number? Do you want a sample of blood? Do you want, what do you want? What's with all these questions? Let's eat, yo, your meatballs are getting cold. Stop asking me all these goddamn questions. Just let's eat, ask questions sparingly. You don't have to play 21 questions on your first date. That's a lot. Take your time, eat between shit. Eat between each, you know, ask questions between each meatball. All right, number 12. I didn't know this one until recently, picking wax out of your ears and sprinkling it around don't just don't. I guess you want to add a little fucking seasoning to your grilled cheese. Who is doing this on a date? Who is taking earwax and just spreading it all around? That's disgusting, don't do that. Listen, sometimes our face, like if you wash up good, you should be okay, but sometimes we, you know, we do this, we scratch our head and stuff. Try not to do that. Try not to do that on a first date, especially around food, you know, don't pick and scratch and all this shit. Try to be subtle. If you feel like your face is dirty, go wash your face, but don't sit there and be like, don't do that, that's disgusting. All right, Mario, where's place to go on a first date? Yes, I'm working on that to be an episode because, actually, no, I kind of did this episode already. It was a cheesecake factory episode. Like you remember that one video that went viral where the woman was making a big deal of her husband or her boyfriend at the time, taking her to the cheesecake factory? I kind of already touched on that one, but who knows, I might do a redo of that episode for the sake of TikTok. So there might be a remaster of that episode. Who knows? That's a good idea though, I might work on that. Number 13, too handy right out the gate. You're still basically a stranger. I need to get to know you first. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Touchy, touchy, all this stuff. And there's nothing wrong with like taking the code off and it's stuff like that guiding them to their seat. But if you're sitting there touching on them and all that shit, that's a little crazy. You might want to slow down a little bit. Keep your hands to yourself. Some people are cool with the idea that their date is kind of like being a little touchy. Some people are not comfortable with that. You have to keep some sort of barrier, some sort of distance. You do not want to creep your date out. You really don't. People do talk. They might put you on the blot somewhere as the dibler or something like that. You like touching and diddling a lot. Just keep your hands off. Keep the touching to a minimum. Let it build up. If it gets to the point where the touching becomes a little bit more. And yeah, go ahead. Take it to the next level. All right, number 14. Going in for the win. Yeah, it's trying a little too hard. You're swinging too hard at the first pitch, man. Like, gotta take it slow. Number 14, smelly greasy hair and no effort in appearance. If the first date isn't important enough for you to even shower, then how important will the relationship be to you? Dressing like a slob, and if they smell like they haven't showered in a week, a dated tradies who can clean up within an hour after work to arrive on a date. So there's no reason why Mr. Math teacher can't lift the finger on a weekend. Yes, people showering in appearance. First impressions is everything. First impressions are important. Yeah, I gotta clean. Wash your hair, all this stuff. This is super important stuff. You can't just go into somewhere and just be like, oh, well, if she doesn't accept me for me, then she's a red flag. You can kind of keep that. Was your basketballs people? I don't even. I what the hell are you asking me? I don't know. I don't know what that means. But if you go on with that mentality, wash your basketballs, yes, please. That's what he said. Okay, you wash your basketballs, all right? 'Cause you never know. The first date may go to that. There has been dates that were cool and then they ended up in bed. But appearance is everything. You can't go on with the mindset of, well, if she doesn't accept me for who I am or he doesn't accept me for who I am and don't like the way I look, don't do that. Don't do that eventually. Let them build trust and let them find and see other things about you. Or if it doesn't even matter, it's just dating the date. There's really no goal in mind. It's just you're meeting people and you're having a good time. Maybe that's what it is, you know, crushing the rocks to find a diamond kind of deal. All right, number 15, possessive behavior. If this is how you act with someone you just met, how would a relationship be with you? It goes on to say, I had a guy buy me a toothbrush after a third date so I can use it when I'm staying over at his house. Oh, how thoughtful, right? He also wanted to see me every day of the week after the first date and got insulted if I denied. Then he would ask about every little detail that I did when I was not seeing him. I'm just not that social person and I don't want to see anyone 24 hours a day for four days in a row. Wasn't a good enough reason, that's creepy. That's creepy, okay. If your date buys you a toothbrush on the first date, red flag. Red flag and that right there is excessive because just think when they get married he's gonna feel he has more of a possession over you and then you can't do anything without his approval. You can't do anything unless you ask and then before you know it, things get abusive, things get scary. This is one of those key critical red flag signs you have got to catch, being possessive. And also what's the term I'm looking for? It's gonna come to me, but being possessive is definitely an insecurity. Yes, insecurity is another one as well, but this possessive behavior, catch it early, catch it when you can because these type of things can become very, very dangerous. Number 16, finding out that the reason why they asked you out is because they wanted to make their ex jealous. Oh no, do not be the rebound person. Nope, don't be the rebound person. Hell no, to make it worse she had her friend invite the ex-boyfriend as well. That sounds like something that was like out of a 1990s TV show plot. Don't do that, that's gonna set you up for an embarrassment and then some, leave that ex shit alone. Don't date someone to make your ex jealous. How do you think that person's gonna feel knowing that they're being an object for your scheme? Nobody wants to go through that. Nobody has that time or patience. It's a terrible idea, don't do it. You're gonna buy yourself, buy yourself and you're gonna find yourself in a lot of trouble. Just don't do it. All right, let me see how much time I got. Damn, that 26 minutes, I'm doing all right. All right, number 17. Ooh, let's see what number 17 is. Number 17 is immediately starting with the, I love you attitude. Ooh, now it's not a good thing or a bad thing. Well, let's see. This guy had a woman tell me, she thought she loved me about halfway through our first date once. What? I brushed it off as flirty banter, but then toward the end of our meal, she says, you know how I know you love me? You didn't say that you didn't love me when I said I love you. No, maybe she didn't say I love you because that is very crazy on the first date. Who on the first date says, I love you? You don't know this person. How do you expect a person to react when they get thrown with this question completely out of nowhere? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna say? I love you too. You just give them this, maybe you might say I love you too, just 'cause the question kind of threw you off and you're just like, I don't know, I love you too. No, don't, terrible idea. You definitely need to run away. Number 18, not a very big deal, but I pay a lot of attention to this one. Most common topic on first dates is hobbies, interests, and tastes. Many dates will quickly backpedal and change their mind if I disagree on something. It can be about music, food, a place, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. If you say that you liked it, that you liked it, then don't change your mind after I said that I don't. Shows insecurity and comes off as disingenuous. We are allowed to be different. Yes, hobbies, hobbies is a nice little baseline to get to know someone. Like, I don't know, she might like music. He likes music too. Oh, what kind of music? Oh, you like this kind of music. Oh shit, he's my favorite artist too. Some hobbies though, listen, don't be ashamed to tell your first date what your hobbies are, because that is gonna tell you whether this person's right for you or not, because this person might just like, I don't know, they might like get turned off by you because your hobby is just, it comes off as weird. And at that point, it's like, all right, well, you know, it just didn't work out, or just don't let that be the deal breaker. Just keep going, get to learn about each other. And if there's too many deal breakers or there's too many red flags, then yeah, just don't bother. But at the same time, if you're gonna tell the person your hobby, be as straight forward and honest, be yourself. That's the whole point. And then maybe he or she would respect your confidence in telling that you like to collect earthworms. I mean, if you are out there collecting earthworms, that's cool too. But that ain't me. All right, number 19. Going on a dinner or lunch, breakfast, et cetera, et cetera. And ordering nothing because you ate before you came or you're not hungry. It's incredibly awkward to be the person on the other side of that since you showed up hungry and now you're supposed to just eat in front of the other person. Like that's not weird. If I'm eating every single, every single again, and this happens again, I'm just going to go home. Yes, let's see. Yeah, wait, we'll come over to the first things. I'm trying. I'm trying. In fact, I don't even know. I gotta talk to you on the sideline about that because they got a lot of big things about to happen and a lot of big things that's also gonna change the show. Again, I will have to get with you on the sideline for that one. I'm gonna do the best I can with that. But yeah, let's like the person I went to Starbucks. Don't eat before you go on a date. Just imagine your date. Your date has already eaten and they don't want to eat. But you're the only one eating. Then it's like, okay, how is that gonna look what people walk in by? It's gonna look like you guys are either sharing your food or it's gonna look like this person is just eating. So I mean like, just don't, yeah, just don't eat before the day. Just, if you're gonna eat before the day, okay, let's be honest, we do get hungry in between. If you're gonna eat between the day, eat something very light. Don't sit there and eat a big meal before the day and then you get there, now your date's eating and you're just sitting there watching. That's awkward. Nobody wants to sit there and feel like they're being watched eating and you're just sitting there just kind of, well, in their eyes, judging. Yeah, don't do that, just don't eat, all right. To caveat to that, said quote, I once made dinner for the man who sat there not eating anything and then said he had to leave early because he had a dinner date and I never bothered to ever speak to him again. Oh, it just got worse. So he shows up, she made a dinner for him and he didn't eat and then proceeds to say, hey, I gotta leave, I gotta dinner date. Yeah, I would have never seen you again. That would have been it, that would have been done. That would have been one and done. That is extremely disrespectful, especially since this person went out their way to make you a meal and then you sit there and you did that. That to me, yeah, I would have probably never seen this person again, all right. Let's see, number 20. Wow, yeah, I'm gonna dance around this one but I'm gonna go ahead, it says number 20. Now this is a quote, okay, this is not me. So I just need a TikTok disclaimer, all right. This is just me quoting what I'm reading, all right. This is what it is. Number 20, asking me to blow him before even having a real conversation. This actually happened. Well, then his intentions were very clear and at that point you're getting out of the house, you're out of there, you're out of there. There's no way. Number 21, showing up absolutely hammered and passing out within an hour. So this person showed up for the date, completely drunk, pre-game, whatever they did something, went out before the date and then all of a sudden now they passed out. Now that just completely ruined the date and it just shows how irresponsible this date and this person is. That would have been it for me. I would have been one and done. Number 22, criticism is a big no for me on a first date. I can't take criticism. It's just that first date should be about getting to know someone, not judging them. Let me see. It said they went on a date with a guy who gave me rules for dinner. Rules for dinner. Similar ones his daughter had. She was six and I was 25. Then on a walk at a park, he insulted my favorite Pokemon, Sabo Eye. Insistingly and incurring me to pick a cute or more fitting Pokemon. None of this is bad per se, but it's red flags for me. So the red flag was that he judged the kind of Pokemon she liked and she took it the wrong way 'cause she hates criticism. Even though it's about Pokemon, I can only imagine what this couple looks like and I'm already picturing it, whatever, but the fact, okay, criticism, okay, criticism, criticism. Criticism is a great area on the first date, all right? Now you may not want to criticize that person directly, but let's just say you guys are conversing and there's a particular topic and I don't know what they look like. Nerds, I guess, I don't, I can only imagine. So just, you know, criticism is kind of a great area, it's a slippery slope. You don't want to criticize, you definitely don't want to criticize what they're wearing and the cologne, the perfume, you reserve your judgment, okay. Now, if it comes to certain topics and TV shows, whatever you guys are talking about, you can do a little bit of criticism, but sometimes criticism can turn into disagreements and debates and arguments and then the dates over. Like this right here, she said it wasn't a bad thing that he didn't like her Pokemon, but at the same time, she doesn't like criticism. Well, guess what? In this life, there's going to be criticism. You got to be criticized, you got to be judged on a lot of things, that's just what it is. There is no gray area, all right? But if you have to on the first date, keep the criticisms to a minimum, just to save yourself the whole argument and all this other stuff. All right, number 23, completely different beliefs and politics. All right, right there. Never discuss politics on the first date. That is, especially nowadays, we are in a very, very sense of the political climate. You do not want to discuss beliefs and politics on the first date, save that for later, way down the road if it even gets to that point. Anyway, she says, "I've had multiple guys bring me a Bible and a sagu into asking me to dinner to teach me about the Lord." They never understood why I wasn't excited. Listen, I have no knock on religions or deities or whatever, but don't do this on a date. That to me is a no-go. You don't know, save that after a few drinks. I wouldn't even do that. But that to me is sloppy work. You do not, religion and politics are two things that always, in my opinion, turn into an argument because those two topics are very opinionated. They are not factual in some cases because you always will have one person say, "No, this is wrong about this and this is wrong about that." Religion and politics is a gray area for me. I will talk about it and I'm all about agreeing on both sides or listening to both sides. I'm a moderate. I like to listen to both sides. But on a date, that's off your work. Those are two things that should never come up on a date because that's guaranteed more than likely is going to break that date. All right, number 24. If they spend the whole time looking bored and disinterested, at least pretend you're having fun on tell me you wanna go home. Don't make me sit here uncomfortably for two hours and give me one word answers constantly. Yeah, don't do that. Especially that goes with the whole looking at the phone thing and you're listening but you're not quite there and you're like, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Oh yeah, game over, don't even bother. That's a challenge. Yeah, that's a big oof, man. Again, this is what's gonna make a break a relationship or not a relationship with the date. Visual interaction, verbal interactions is what's going to set the baseline. It's not like, you're sitting there one question there, one answer question, it's terrible. But then again, also asking 21 questions is just as terrible. And of course, finally, it says, talking about all the conspiracy theories they believe in, no, Chas, this isn't a commonly held belief that all of the US presidents descended from the same bloodline. Yeah, conspiracies, along there with religion and politics, don't do it on the first date. It is a terrible idea. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, because your beliefs is not someone else's beliefs. It is not, you have got to separate that completely. All right, that, that to me, just, just don't do it. All right, just don't do it. How much time do I got? Let me see. I'm at 37 minutes. There was another article or something I've seen here. There's a few people that are sharing, I mean, I think this is more of a continuation to this. Let me see. All right, yeah, this is another article that is similar in Buzzfeed. They asked the Buzzfeed community as well as sourced this from Reddit to reveal their first date red flags. All right, so I'm gonna try to breeze through this as much as possible. I think there are like, I don't know how many of these are there. It looks like there's quite a few, but I'll try to get through this as quick as possible. All right, number 19. No, actually it starts off with number one. So let me go, I'm gonna try to get through it. I'm gonna try to keep it at an hour, maybe on an hour, who knows? Number one. And again, the title to this article is, it's a total red flag. People are sharing their first date warning signs that immediately indicate you should head for the hills. Number one, insisting on going to a particular place or doing a particular activity. There was a guy who was determined we were going to dinner, even though I kept saying I only wanted to do coffee or drinks for a first date. I ended up not going on a date at all, but coincidentally, he laid a date at a work colleague of mine and she said he was incredibly controlling. He never stopped making decisions for her or telling her what she couldn't do. She dodged that one, that she caught that flag. It's like, she basically was like, I don't wanna do this. And he's like, we're gonna do this. And then look, the other person had to deal with that. That was good on her, again, pay attention, especially if you've been on a few dates and that's what I'm saying. When you're young, date, date, date, date, all right? If you can, me is different, I got married young. But if you're young and you're not married or whatever, just date, date, date. All right, number two. If they repeatedly mispronounce your name, even after you have corrected them, to me it reads as I don't think the things that you say are important enough to remember. Yeah, I don't know how you could get somebody's name wrong multiple times on the same night or like think of an easier way to pronounce their name. Maybe that's a better way of doing it too. If not, you're forgetting it, then you could forget everything else. Number three, if they immediately want to kiss or have sex on the first date, it really shows what their first priorities are in a relationship and that it was all they've been thinking about on the date. Come on, that's like a classic, classic red flag, okay? Not saying this is all, guys, is that their intent on the first date is to go to the next level. No, but that is a classic red flag and it's been like that for years. Let's be honest, for I guess as long as cavemen have been around. Number four, when they say I want to take you out but cannot name a place and keep putting it, keep putting it back on you. Or when they say I want you to pick, I don't find endearing. I find it intellectually lazy and almost a trap. All you're trying to see if I'll pick something super expensive, if someone can't even make an effort to give you options or Google search for your first date, what would your future be like? So if she feels like the guy is trying to set up, like basically say, hey, you pick a place. And of course, if she picks something super expensive, he's gonna say and judge off something like that. Like why would you pick the most expensive place or why would you pick the most expensive meal? It's always set up man, like just have a plan already. So you don't even have to ask these stupid questions. Number five, if they do you want kids to come up? That shit, I mean, that's not a bad question down the road. I guess it's really the approach to the question. You know what I mean? Because on your first date, you don't even know what that, you don't even know who this person, you're just now finding them out. And yeah, even down the road. Yeah, kids, I don't know. But some people are not offended by that question. They'll get hit with that question. And it's like, oh, no, no, you know, I want kids down the road. Yeah, sure. It could be an icebreaker question. Well, no, that's a terrible icebreaker question. Don't do it. And slippery slope. I personally say, don't ask about kids down the road because you're gonna give that person some weird idea. Like, is this person trying to be with me for the long term? Are they seeing something I see, or this person is just weird? So yeah, I would not do that. Number six, this one is kind of specific, but one time a guy opened his wallet to pay the bill and made a point to open his wallet wide enough to flash a wide of hundreds with a smirk on his face while looking at me dead in the eyes. It was an instant turn off of me to think that all I care about is money and that it would impress me somehow. Yeah, yeah, listen, if you already have taken her on a fancy date, then why would you flash money? What else are you trying to do? It's almost like you're trying to buy this person. Don't do that. Just don't do it. Don't, you're already taking her to a fancy place I read lobster. Why would you show her money that you got? Don't even like, come on, what are you trying to do? Keep, listen, money moves in silence. Don't be flashy. Don't be silly with money. It's just don't keep your money to yourself. Let's see. Number seven, when a person tells a very obvious lie, I would think to impress another person fabrication is not the way. Yeah, don't lie. Just be yourself on your date. Be yourself. Don't sit there and lie about something because you're gonna go through all this trouble lying about something and you might not even make it through the first day. You might just, one and done. That's it. There's no sense of lying. Number eight, treating the date like a therapy session and venting about frustrations or oversharing about sad things that happen in the past. This lack of boundaries shows me that this person lacks self-awareness and anyone who tries to date them will become the emotional punching bag. No, thank you. Yes. Do not unload your sorrows and your troubles and your worries and your past on someone you just met. Now, I know that's kind of awkward 'cause when you go to a therapist, you don't know this person but you're doing the same thing. Time and place. Not on dates. Not on dates. Number nine, I mean, this is a quote, by the way. I mean, just straight up misogyny and mansplaining. I once went to a first date where a guy talked incessantly about his career as a general contractor. As a general contract, yeah, general contract. Sorry about that. And they ask if I had knowledge about commercial contracts because I was lawyer-ish. I'm a partner attorney and a commercial law firm. I just laughed. I paid my tab by the bar and left without a word. I was trying to get some connections. Ah, she was like, nah, buddy. We were just here for this. Like, nah, we're not doing that. Number 10, this is from Sarah, 30 in Texas. If they insist on getting your address to come pick you up after you've already made plans to meet them there. That's, hmm, yeah, that's kind of creepy. That stuff a little bit creepy. Number 11, quote, it's got to be when they avoid it of questions that discuss the future and et cetera. Do you want kids to meet? It just signals that they aren't interested in pursuing you at all. They're just looking for a hookup with an extended four-player or something. I don't think talking about kids is extended four-play. However, though, yeah, start from the baseline. Talk about the night, the evening, the food, don't, don't, don't sit there and go all the way beyond. I think, don't talk about kids, that's insane. Number 12, if they have qualities, views, quirks that you don't know, that you know, you won't like six months into the relationship or have annoyed you in the past. Examples include chewing loudly, doesn't support, believe in the same things as you. Displays narcissistic or toxic traits. We look past these qualities in the first few weeks and then we have a whole moment. Yeah, that's right. Hey, guys, you're not paying attention. Again, catch everything while you can and be honest with you, you're not gonna catch everything on the first date, but you're gonna catch some critical things. You, let's say you go on dates again, down the road you might catch some other things. Just catch it, but catch the most crucial things on the first date, it won't be a second one. Number 13, number 13, maybe I'm too finicky but pay close attention to the tone of their language towards you, big, big one. As someone who is too familiar with toxic narcissists, they put on an act for as long as they can. So if you're not careful, you won't figure them out until it's too late, but you may be able to catch a glimpse of condescension or questioning your thoughts or beliefs. They're usually not great at covering up. Body language is super important. Body language, there's people that love to be expressive and talk with their hands, right? It's not just an Italian thing. Some people are pretty expressive. I know I'm from New York. I like to talk with my hands a lot, I'm very expressive, but the way it's like little subtle things, like the way they tap on a table, the way they kind of lunge at you and they talk or whatever, those things are critical things to look at. Very critical. Number 14, they don't ask you any questions that only talk about themselves. Yes, that's that narcissistic trait. Don't wanna know anything about you. It's like, this is what I do. This is where I'm from. Don't even ask you not one question at all about yourself. Red flag. Number 15, this is kind of similar to the other one I read. Showing up drunk, slurring words, acting sloppy, going into great detail about serious personal issues, basically a train wreck, the total red flag. But I also feel bad for them because there's always reason they're off track. We don't know why people drink the way they drink. A lot of people drink to get, drink their sorrows away. Some people drink just to kind of let loose at a crazy week. We don't know. But don't show up to a first day slosh. Number 16, unless there's a major emergency or legitimately valid reason, for example, they got kids, they're dealing with sick family members, whatever. Spending all of their time looking at their phone or constantly checking their phone is a red flag. It already shows that you're not interested and you don't value them. They don't value you enough to be present. Yeah, we kind of already covered that. Bam, here's another one. Number 17, when they ask you out, but then expect you to pay for coffee, lunch, dinner, or whatever activity you decide to do. And I don't mean splitting a check. I mean, asking you to pay for the whole damn thing. All right, now look, look, look. When it comes to paying what, all right, look, a lot of people say that the person that they invited to dinner shouldn't, all right, look, there's a lot of debates in this, all right? Who splits the bill, who splits the tab, whatever, right? For example, if I invite a girl out on a date, I should pay. She shouldn't have to pay because I dragged out to pay. Other people think otherwise. And then there's some people that, decides to split 50/50 the bill. Comment below, let me know what you think on the first date, who should pay the bill? Regardless if it's coffee or a four star dinner, whatever, who should pay the bill? Should it be the man, the woman, or both should just go at it, or does it really matter? Some people, to some people, this really matters. I know I'm married. My wife sometimes, she takes me out, she pays, and I will tip, and then sometimes I will pay, and she will tip, or I'll just tip. It doesn't matter. To us, we're married, we don't do this whole split 50/50 thing. It's just whatever, right? Doesn't matter, we're gonna eat. Number 18, if they show up late with no solid plans for your date, big, big red flag, you should already have a plan before you even show up. Like, why are you just showing up and like, "Hey, unless you're one of those people who are, "what do you call that?" What is the term I'm looking for? Spontaneous. You know, spontaneity, I'm not a big fan of spontaneity. My wife is very spontaneous. I like to plan things out, but some people, they just, you know, spontaneous. Maybe this was what it was, like, okay, but then you don't just show up to somebody's house, and then you're like, "Hey, what are you doing here?" You know, I don't know, I just wanna say hi. No plans, just nothing. Just nothing, I don't know. All right, number 19, lastly, this is the last one, I promise, if they try to push your buttons or make you uncomfortable on date one, they shouldn't be any second date. It's not worth your energy. Now, how would you make someone purposely uncomfortable on the date? I don't even know why would you even aim for that? You shouldn't even, like, do that, like, I don't know. But listen, at the end of the day, you know, we go on these dates and basically we go to learn about the person, we go eat a nice meal, we go have a good time, we learn something. Most importantly, you're going out and you're experiencing people, you know? Some people, like I said, they hook up and they hitch perfectly well after the first date. In some cases, it's not quite like that. But again, when you're on these dates, red flags, red flags, red flags, pay attention to the people, put the phone down, pay attention when you talk to people, and not just on dates, either, in general and life. Everywhere we go, we're on our phone. Somebody's face is buried in a phone. You know, we forget what life even looks like. We forget a lot of things. And then when you're like, damn, you know, I remember this, but it went by so fast because you're so distracted on the phone. I know that kind of sounds like some weird oxymoron. I'm on the phone right now. But I'm talking about when you're outside and about, it's alright to pull out your phone, read a couple of messages, take some pictures here, whatever. But don't just be on your phone the entire time, especially on a date. Like, you're missing out on a lot of things, but you're missing out on a lot of key things in this once in a lifetime thing you call life. Alright, so hey, check it. I'm about to wrap up the show, that's 52 minutes. I went over the red flags. I appreciate all the likes and support. Keep hitting the like button, let's get there. Trying to make the show better. I got a lot of topics lined up, but most importantly, for those who just join, hit in the comment section. Let me know some topics that you would like for me to discuss. And of course, I have an email for this podcast as well. It's the DailyMind podcast at gmail.com. Hit me up, send some likes. Please don't send me nudes. However, though, you can send me ideas that you want me to discuss. And of course, if you're new to this, I'm on Spotify and other platforms where you may listen to podcasts. I have almost 400 episodes of this show. And this is maybe episode six, at least on TikTok that I've been streaming. I just started streaming last Sunday, so I'm kind of late to the party. I know two years this podcast has been going. And I'm now just starting to stream, but better late than never, I'm just trying to keep up with the times and broaden the appeal of the show. I'm doing the best I can, all right? Thank you, thank you, thank you for sitting here. Don't forget, email, send me messages, send me likes, send me requests. But most importantly, going to date, have fun. Look out for the signs, but most importantly, also be careful. My first dates sometimes can have really strange turns and twists, but have fun, all right? Pay attention to everything around you, even when you're just out and about, all right? I'm about to go eat, go to the gym, work out because I do need the work. I'm a little rotund, but I'm getting them, working it out. And then Mario, once again, I'll discuss with you offline Thanksgiving plans and stuff and see what's gonna happen. Got like some pretty big news to tell you. So when I get that chance sometime today, I will do that, all right? Meantime, have a great weekend. Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend. However, you plan on doing it. If you got to go to work, make that money, you know, get your priorities in order, all right? Either way, have a good weekend. Tomorrow, yes, tomorrow will be an episode, all right? Probably about the same time as right now. I'll put it out there. However though, stay tuned for tomorrow's episode. I'm working on a topic, see what it's about, see what I'm gonna do, and that's it. So I'm gonna give you guys heads up, like when I'm doing episodes, you know, 'cause I do have a life, I work, and I'll let you know if I'm doing episodes or not, all right? So give your heads up. Have a good one, we'll do this again next time. Peace out, have a good weekend.