The Season of Self Love
Embracing the Gift of Aging with Corinne Alma: Rethinking Our Golden Years
Welcome back, beautiful souls, to The Season of Self-Love podcast! In this episode, your host Nyomi Banks dives deep into the beauty and wisdom of aging with special guest, Corinne Alma—pioneer in rethinking aging, founder of Choice Care Navigators, and author of Keenagers. Together, they explore how we can redefine aging, let go of societal pressures, and embrace our golden years with grace and joy. Corinne shares valuable insights from her book and career, shedding light on how a positive outlook can impact our health and happiness as we grow older.Nyomi also offers a grounding guided meditation to help release fears around aging and embrace each new phase of life with acceptance and self-love. Whether you're navigating the challenges of aging yourself or supporting a loved one, this episode is full of wisdom, positivity, and practical advice.Key Highlights:
- Corinne Alma’s insights on rethinking aging and her book Keenagers
- How our mindset impacts the aging process
- Personal reflections on embracing aging
- Guided meditation on releasing fears around aging
- How to approach aging with joy and empowerment
SEO Tags: #AgingWithGrace #PositiveAging #CorinneAlma #KeenagersBook #SelfLoveJourney #SeasonOfSelfLove #EmbraceAging #HealthyAging #WomenAndAging #RethinkRetirement #AgePositively #MentalWellness #EmpoweredAging #MatureBeauty #SeniorHealth #GoldenYears #HolisticWellbeing #SelfCareForSeniors #MindfulnessForAging #AgeismAwareness #CaregivingTipsListen now to learn how to embrace aging as a blessing and reframe how we view this next chapter of life.
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- Broadcast on:
- 15 Oct 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
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I am your host Naomi Banks and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see every day we dive into a powerful conversation about sub-discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Axe Naomi, an Elevate Me self-discovery where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories, plus we occasionally walk in special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and less embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Do I Hello? Welcome back to the Season of Suff Love Podcast. I am your host Naomi Banks and today we are diving into a profoundly beautiful aspect of our lives and that's aging. Joining us is an incredible guest, Corinne Alma. She is a pioneer in rethinking aging. The founder of Choice Care Navigators and the author of Pea Natures. But before we bring her to the stage we're going to take a quick break and when we come back we're going to get deep into finding out what these Pea Natures is, right? As you go do you guys are going to be ready to hear all the Season of Suff Love Podcasts and we'll be right back. Exciting news everyone, Naomi Banks. Your favorite transitional life and relationship coach and the inspiring host of The Season of Suff Love Podcast has just released another incredible resource for your personal growth journey in producing her latest transformational ebook and workbook, Balancing Life. A guide to harmonize your life. This 50 page guide is designed to help you navigate the complexities of life, bringing balance and harmony into your everyday experience. Perfectly paired with our amazing new series for this month, The Act of Balancing Life. This workbook is packed with practical exercises, insightful prompts, and valuable tools to empower you on your path to self-discovery and fulfillment. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in yourself and enhance. Your journey toward a balanced life. Balancing Act is available now. Grab your copy today and step into a world of harmony and self-love. Are you ready to embark on a journey toward harmony and balance? Join us for our exciting new challenge, the 21 Days Living Balance. Challenge on the Season of Suff Love Podcast as part of our monthly series, The Act of Balancing Life. This challenge will guide you through day practices designed to help. You harmonize your mind, body, and spirit. Whether you're juggling work, relationships, or self-care, we're here to support you every step of the way. Don't wait sign up now to take part in this transformative experience starting October 1st. Together, we'll build a community of balance. Seekers ready to embrace joy and self-discovery. Visit our website or click the link in our bio to join the challenge today. Let's find our balance together. What are some common barriers that prevent people from expressing? Hey Ejagurdi got his Nami Banks here from the Season of Suff Love Podcast. Yeah, I would say remorse. So, shame and guilt is a very divine emotional. Now these are one of the many amazing conversations that we have every day on Monday and Friday, right here on the Season of Suff Love Podcast. With myself and Ejagurdi as well as our resident therapist Dr. Will Washington Up, Washington Wellness Institute. Come by. The reality of our relationship. Come by. A lot of times it's the first phrase of how people look at us. And so that compassion can't enter us. You can hit us on the website. The Season of Suff Love Podcast.com. Actually, with the truth. Is it the... Alright, welcome back to the Season of Suff Love Podcast. I'm your host Nami Banks. And I am so happy to have Miss Corinne Allman here. Hi, welcome. Hi, thanks for having me. I'm so happy to be here. Yes, yes. So Corinne, before we get into deep into our topic and talk about teenager and all of this beautiful thing about aging, we're going to take a nice little quick break. A nice little guided meditation that I prearrange. I listen to us know what we're going to do, right? So if y'all just get comfortable right now as we go into this moment of silence. Please find a comfortable position and close your eyes. And I want you to take a deep breath into your nose. Slow. And let out through your mouth. I want you to take another deep breath in through your nose and ask you. Taking that inhale, I want you to count a four in your hands. And then I want you to hold at the top. And hold it for four, one, two, three, four, and exhale through your mouth. Now I want you to continue that breath. And as you continue that breath, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, I want you to imagine a warm and embracing life that symbolizes acceptance and love. This symbolizes acceptance and love for each phase of your life. Now with each inhale, I want you to welcome the wisdom of aging. And with each exhale, I want you to release any fears of getting older. Now I want you to keep this sense of empowerment. That's what we explore today's topic. All right. You're going to now open your eyes when you are ready. All right. Well, thank you, Career, for just sharing that mama with me as well as your listeners out there. And if you're new here to the season, the cephalopodcast is something that we do every day, Monday through Friday, before we get into the topic of hand, we ground ourselves because I'm ready for this aging topic. So Corinne again, it is so wonderful to have you here with with us today. Can you share with us what led you into this field of aging? And what was your inspiration behind your book, Kenagers? I hope I'm saying it right. Kenagers? Yeah, like with a K, I always have to tell people because if you just hear the title, you think it's a T and it's not. So I got interested in working with older adults, which is what I've spent my entire career doing. When I think a lot of people who are in this field, we all become interested in it because we loved our grandparents. We had amazing relationships with them and or we had an amazing relationship with some older person that made us realize, hey, you know, these people have a lot to offer and they're really cool and we should be appreciating them and having relationships with them, learning from them. So that's how I got into my career working with older adults. How the book came about is a slightly different story over the course of all these years of working with older adults. One of the things that I've really seen that makes a huge difference in how you age is how you feel or how you approach your own aging. So in my work as a care manager, you know, I'm working with all kinds of people. They're going through all kinds of crises, you know, with their loved ones, those kinds of things. And what I see is this pattern of families where if the person, the older person, has approached their aging in a positive way, they've planned, they've thought about it, they've talked to their family members about, here's what I want, here's what I don't want. They tend to age really well. They tend to be healthier, they tend to live longer, they have better relationships. There's all these positive outcomes versus the people who really have a very negative outlook about their aging. That's more of our stereotypical kind of, you know, the stereotype we have about older people, they're cranky and that they're slow and that they're all these things. But they're really not. It's just that we have a we control a lot of our own aging by just how we think about it. Yeah, when you have that really negative outlook, you tend to not plan, not talk to your loved ones. You try to kind of bury your head in the sand and pretend this is not happening, right? Aging is just something that other people do, not me. And that really can lead to some pretty terrible outcomes as you grow older, because you haven't faced what is a reality for all of us. And so my goal with the book is to tell some stories about some really amazing older adults and then also help everyone think about how do I want to approach my own aging, how do I want to plan for it, and to feel like you have some control. Yeah, really do about how this is going to go. Yeah, you know, when, when I read your, your, your message to me and I went open and looked at your profile and I said, oh my god, this is so fitting for me. Let me tell you why, because I was one of those ones in the beginning that, and this started young, this started when I used to always say that I'm forever 21. I used to say that I said that all the way till I was 40. So that was my thing, I am forever 21. And I spent majority of my life in front of the camera, but you know, in front of the camera. So I had to appear to be younger than what I am. So I had to get a fake ID and have myself 10 years younger than what I was. Wow. Talk to producers and directors and agents. I was always 10 years younger than what I was. The blessing is that I actually looked 10 years younger than what I was. So now that I believe it was 42, 42 or 43. Now I'm seeing myself pick it up weight. You know, I'm no longer in front of the camera like I used to, but this is when the realization of, oh, you're not 21. Well, you know, that metabolism is not happening like they used to have. As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. 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And I remember coming to the realization then it's like, okay, you have to embrace all of this because one is the blessing that you're still here at this age. That's right. But also, you don't look like what people would think you would look like, period. You yourself have your own story to share and embrace your age. So from the time I was 42, 43 years old, to now at 52, I embrace it all. So I kind of pin myself vintage beauty. Yeah, vintage beauty. I pin myself that is because I think is a blessing to have gotten older, especially in my career and don't look like anything that I think I should be looking like, you know what I'm saying? Like the stress and the worries on what other people might think and just embracing the everything that old people have to go to. Now I'm going through premenopause. And that's another step. Yeah, that's another step. So my thing is I'm going to get teenagers because I want to know if you Well, I don't speak specifically about perimenopause. I'm right there with you. But I did not speak specifically about that in the book. Maybe that's book two. Beautiful, beautiful. You know, and I heard you say like this amazing stories that you have here in teenagers. Like for me, I started off in 40 preparing for that. So when you said that about preparing for that, I knew exactly what that felt like I knew where I started from at 30 years old and I'm forever 21. So when I got to 40, it was like, okay, now I need to embrace all of this and I need to live my life for who I am and not who they think 40 or 50 or 60 year old person looks like or how they supposed to have to feel like, you know, like, yeah, yeah. I think there's a couple of things in what you said. Number one, we all kind of have that moment where we go. Oh, crap. All right, like this. And it might be like when you get your first gray hair or when you notice your first wrinkles or like whatever it is, for me, it was like when I noticed like my skin on my neck starting to change and I was like, that can't be happening, right? Like that. I'm way too young for that. And so I think we all have that moment where we either can kind of start to accept or we can say, I'm just going to pretend like that's not happening right now. But there is such power in accepting it and embracing it rather than denying it. The denying it, I think, can really cause a lot of self harm instead of self love because you and a lot of people are making a lot of money off of that denial, right? With all the things you'll pay for to try to deny it. The other thing you said that I always think is so interesting is, you know, that you didn't look like what you thought someone would look like at 40, 42, 50. And my daughter said this to me on my last birthday. I was 49. I am 49. And she said, oh, mom, you don't look like a 49 year old. And I kind of stopped her because of, you know, what my industry and everything. I said, well, what does a 49 year old look like? I said, I think I do look like a 49 year old. I think that you have a stereotype, a belief system in your head about what that 49 year old is going to look like. And you don't think it's me. I was like, but it is me. I'm like, I'm not, you know, I'm not that unusual. It's that we just have these kind of stereotypes in our mind that we're scared of of what old, what aging and older adulthood is going to look like. And so we run away from it. But really, you know, no, I'm 49. And I look 49. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Exactly. And that's why I said what they think. That's right. Yeah, you know, and when I, and when I look back as a little girl, a teenager and seeing my aunties, and even my mother, when they were 40 and 50 years old, they look good. I don't know. I think it is just, as you said, society will have you thinking that you're supposed to look with gray hair. And I'm, I want gray hair. I want salt and pepper hair. That's, I want all of that. But the way that they set things up on what we should look like when we age. So at 70, 80 years old, it's funny. My mom was just talking yesterday. And she said, did you know people used to be on this earth for hundreds and hundreds of years before they died? And I said, really, mom, she said, yes, she said, back in the day, people lived for 200, 300 years before, you know, and she said, now we people not even living past 50. I say, wow. So what does that tell you that I'm not old? That would reshape your thinking really quick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The other, you know, the way we get these visions in our head to the of what we think it's going to look like or what it should look like, you know, society culture is teaching that to us from a very young age. Just go, just go look at some kids storybooks and see how they portray older people. There, there's one of two ways. They're either like a loving grandparent or it's a witch or some kind of creepy old man. Yeah. And so those are the only visions that are out there. And there's way more of the witches and the creepy old men than there are of the loving grandparents in the storybooks. And so, you know, we're being taught this we're being kind of cooked in this soup of negativity about growing older, really from the time anyone's reading a storybook to us. So it makes sense that we feel this way about it because we're not taught to look forward to it. We're taught that it's a really bad slash scary thing. Right. So for you, what language would you be able to tell someone that, you know, embrace the aging? That is a blessing that that's not a gift that you're still alive at 60, 70, 80 years old. Like, where do you feel in this moment in time that it's a curse? Right. Right. I think people, when you talk to older people, they generally will say that they feel younger than whatever their age is. As long as their health is good, it's when your health starts to deteriorate in some way. And we all have health problems. Health problems are not unique to older adulthood. We just pay more attention to it as we get older. And they do tend to have a few more, right, as the longer you live, the more likely you are to have chronic conditions. But at the same time, you do have a lot of control over those things, right? How well do you take care of yourself? Do you go to the doctor? Do you do those things? And again, one of the things we see in the research is that people who have a positive outlook on aging, they do take better care of themselves. They exercise, they go to the doctor when they have a ache or a pain, they don't just assume that it's because they're getting older. They go find out, like, why is this hurting? Or at least they try to. And so, you know, thinking about your approach to your own aging really matters and how well it's going to go. Yeah. Okay. So let's talk about your theme, your theme of your book. So you talk redefining ages between the age of 55 and 80. So what are some key ideas that you hope that readers can take away from this? Sure. So the first thing is that we call everybody from like 55 or 60 plus, we call them older adults, right? And this is one of the reasons I started using the word teenager instead. Because we, when Social Security was first enacted in the 1930s, you got Social Security at 65. The average American male lived to 67. So retirement was really very short, right? That very short period of time. Now, if you're retiring at 65, you aren't looking at two years, you're looking at two or three decades ahead of you. So older adulthood itself has gotten much longer. And yet, we still call them all older adults. So if you're 65, we're going to call you an older adult. And if you're 95, we call you an older adult. And it makes no sense. We need some new language, some positive language around older adulthood. If you just do a Google search for what can you call older adults, almost everything that comes up is negative. There's some fairly neutral, like older adults, mature adults, that sort of thing. The only thing that's really in any way positive is like elders, because that has some like respect to it. And it's just ridiculous. It's ridiculous that it is so hard to find positive language to describe a time period in our life, when many people are vibrant and healthy and still, they may still be working, they may be volunteering, they may be traveling and living their best life, but they're doing things. They're not sitting on a rocking chair in their front porch, you know, doing nothing, just waiting for, you know, for it all to end kind of thing. And so older adulthood has really changed. And it is time for our language around it to change as well. Right, right. You know, when, as you, you're speaking about the language, so let's talk about societal norms. Let's talk about that. And we know what that age age is, age is, age is. As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus, look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. Become an explorer and seek out unforgettable places while enjoying rewards everywhere you travel. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC, subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply. It's time for today's lucky land horoscope with Victoria Cash. Life's gotten mundane, so shake up the daily routine and be adventurous, with a trip to lucky land. You know what they say, your chance to win starts with a spin. So go to luckylandslots.com to play over 100 social casino style games for free, for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Get lucky today at luckylandslots.com. No purchase necessary. BGW Group void were prohibited by law 18 plus terms of condition supply. Especially when it comes to entertainment, in certain aspects of it, when you are a certain age, regardless if you look that way, especially for women, then you are old and no longer well. I even hear in conversations when it comes to male and women dating, that when you are older as a woman, that you are not worthy of dating in the pool when you're of a certain age, how do we change those stereotypical views that they have? What are the strategies that we can combat with that to help with others, especially those that are 50, 55, or even going into that age group to where they're able to have the right language to be able to speak to someone to teach them that, if that makes sense? Sure. I mean, I'm not a dating advice expert on how to come back when somebody is being ridiculous. I mean, because that's what it is. If you're just going to look at somebody's age and be like, oh, you can't be in the dating pool, you probably didn't want to date them anyway. Let's be honest. But I think the biggest thing is checking our own ageism, right? Checking our own selves, because we are our own worst enemies to kind of look in the mirror and be like, oh, I don't like that wrinkle or that gray hair or whatever it is. So checking ourselves and our own ageism. And then, when you hear other people saying things that are clearly agist, pointing it out, and this can be really uncomfortable, but pointing it out to say, you know, actually, there's a lot of research that says, you know, if you have a positive outlook on growing older, you walk faster, you live longer, you're healthier, you're all these things, it's not all downhill. And, you know, those points can be hard to convince somebody of in the moment. I mean, I've had people kind of come back at me and say, oh, you know, aging sucks, you're just trying to put lipstick on a pig kind of thing. And it's like, well, you can think that, but it's, but it's to your own detriment. Because if you think that, then you are going to not live as long, not be as healthy, you're not going to date amazing women because of the way you think. And that's really their problem, not yours. So it's an inside job, this positive aging positive approach. And then telling others and calling them out on it when you hear ageist statements. I mean, one of my favorite things to do is when somebody will say something to me like, you look great for your age, and I will come back at them and say, why can't you just say, I look great. And it's really this kind of uncomfortable moment, but it's to make the point that my age has nothing to do with it. Why do we even say that, right? Just tell somebody they look great, give them a compliment, leave the age out of it. Yeah, even as we speak, I guess I'm truly thinking like, how can we put such a negative thing on such a positive thing, meaning? Right. You're still a person is still alive on earth. You know, just still living, being talking, like, how can you, I think we do it, or because the culture teaches it to us. And the culture teaches it to us because it is a multi trillion dollar anti aging industry that makes a ton of money off you being afraid of your own aging. That's just, just, and I guess that's my thing. That's what I'm trying to get, get my head wrapped around. I'm a person that wants to save the world. I want to save the world like, you know, like my question was to you, it's like, how can we change that conversation, you know, that I was just using those two as an example. But how can we change the conversation? What kind of language, what book, what's something that we can get out there? Of course, or something that's like, Hey, yeah, you know, well, start with start with my book. Because that is the whole point. I mean, that really is the whole point of the book is to say, we've got to tell a new story. We've got to reshape how we're thinking about this. It is to your benefit and to everyone around you benefit to change that outlook. Yeah. And when you say about changing the thought is the mindset. If you think you sick, you're going to be sick. If you think you're going to be old, you're going to be old. What is old? What is old? That's the thing. What is old? We would that depends on who you ask. To my children, anyone over 35 is old, you know, but when you, the thing you, I think you realize as you get older, and I hear this from a lot of my older adults that I'm around, is whatever age you are, you think that somebody old is at least 10 to 15 years older than you, you know, and you when you get to a certain age, you go, oh, well, this isn't this isn't at all what I thought it was going to be. And so now older is pushed on down the road. There is no old. Yeah. And we're all aging. We're going to be older at the end of this conversation than we were at the beginning. I mean, it's just it's it's not something just old people do either. Yeah. Yeah. Question from and this is a funny this is a fun question was fun question for me. Who do you feel who do you think have the biggest issue of aging men or women? Oh, it's definitely women. I mean, and that's that's cultural in the sense that like you were talking about earlier, you know, there's this sort of inappropriate and inaccurate view that women lose their value as they get older. And so it's much harder, right? You were talking about in your career feeling like you had to look 10 years younger, you had to pretend to be 10 years younger, then you actually work. Why is that? I mean, it's because we devalue women as they get older. And so there's men get to be more distinguished as they grow older and women don't get that benefit. So definitely, you know, everybody faces ageism as they get older, but it's definitely harder for women because you get both ageism and sexism as the double punch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So let's talk a little bit about caregiver. You know, I guess I am a caregiver at this moment with my mom. My mom was just diagnosed with dementia last year. And so when, and it's funny that we talk about this age, this acism and aging, all of this process for her, because now when she looks at herself in the mirror, she now sees someone that's much older than what she thinks she is. Does that make sense? Uh huh. In her mind, she's younger than because she's going back in time as the dementia progresses. Yeah. Yes. And so this particular day, I was sitting in my room and she came in and she knocked on her. She came in and I saw this stuff that was on her face. I'm like, it's going on with your face. My mom has put tape on her face. Like, I'm like, what are you doing? She was like, I'm just getting, I'm just trying to get rid of my, my, um, my wrinkle. She was like, you don't see me. I'm like, mom, you do not have any wrinkle. She said, but I'm looking older. Mm-hmm. And I just, I wish so much. And, and this is a personal struggle too. I mean, I'm growing up and, and living in this same cultural soup with everybody else. And I think that's part of the reason I'm, I'm on this journey too because it, it's just crazy that, you know, instead of, yeah, looking in the mirror and loving our face and loving ourselves, that we feel compelled to look in the mirror and think, well, man, if I just got a piece of tape and like, put it right here. And, you know, like that, that it's funny, but it's also so sad because I bet you think she's beautiful. Yes. And yeah. And you love everything about her. And, and yet she's looking at herself going, what could I do here, there, you know, to, to improve this situation? It's like, I wish that was different for, for me and for everyone else. Yeah. Yeah. So the stories that you have in, in teenagers, what is part, what is one of the most, um, inspiring story that you have in you? Well, that's a very hard thing to pick. Um, I will say there's one, um, woman I interviewed, her name is Dr. Althea Taylor Jones. And she was a college professor for a number of years. And then she retired. Um, and she probably does more in retirement than most of us will ever do. And in, in, um, our lives, she has gone on to, um, be on all kinds of volunteer boards and, you know, a leader at her church. And she joke, she said her husband says she's busier now than she was when she worked. She just doesn't bring home the paycheck anymore. Um, but she's really done a lot of interesting, like leadership positions, which I find, um, really inspiring. She's part of the senior, I'm in North Carolina. And so she's in the, um, Tar Heel Senior Network, which is like an advocacy group that like goes to the, um, state legislature and lobbies on behalf of older adults. As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. 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Um, she was the president of, uh, Southern Gerontological Society for a year in her retirement and I mean, I do, I just laugh. I'm like, how do you have this much energy? And she's just kind of go, go, go all the time. And I think, I think she's so inspirational. Number one, because of how much, you know, she's doing, but also because I just think if we, if, if she's doing and contributing that much in her retirement, if we could harness that, yeah, for the millions of older adults that we have, think about all the social good we, they could do, right? All the, all the time and energy. And, and I'm not trying to make anybody like do stuff they don't want to do. It's not that at all, but so many times what I run into with clients or with their family members is they would like to be doing stuff. They would like to be volunteering or maybe they'd like to go back to work part-time just to like socialize and be around people and they can't find the opportunities to do it. There's nowhere for them that they feel comfortable volunteering or they feel like people don't want them around because of the ageism and stuff like that. And I just think that's really sad and that we're really missing out on a tremendous opportunity given the number of older adults that we have and that we're going to have in the future. And so I find her really inspiring and it makes me think about how do I, how do we put things in place so that every person who wants to be doing stuff like that feels like they have the opportunity to do it. Right. Yeah, that, you know, as you were speaking, as you were saying this, that just came up in my mind is that, is there a course that you do for for that. Like when I say that because when you, a lot of people have fear, fear of being validated or being approved by others, you know, and really when you talk about getting older, especially those that was in the baby boomer age, I'm Generation X, so that's not happening with me. But, you know, with them older, they're kind of more set in their ways. So it's like how can, and I guess I'm probably asking something is so just perfect. But how can you move the needle for them to say, you know, it's okay, it's okay to be 75, 80 years old. And no, it's not over. You know, it's not over there. It can be just the beginning of something just so amazing. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah, absolutely. And it can be. And that, that is a big part of my point. The, so there are a lot of colleges and universities that are starting to offer these sort of rethinking retirement, continuing education kinds of things that help people kind of rethink what these years are going to be. One of my goals is to kind of start that kind of online coaching myself to start having like sessions and, and, but I haven't gotten there yet. I haven't had time to like set that up yet, but I think there's a tremendous need because people, people do kind of get, I think we're sold the idea of retirement and that it's going to be your well earned rest and your golden years. And it can be. But a lot of people after a year or two of unlimited free time kind of start to go, this has been great. What, what, what can I do now to like give me some meaning or purpose or just to fill my cup, right? Just to kind of make me want to get out of bed and, and that kind of thing. And it can be anything. It can be babysitting your grandchildren. It can be volunteering. It can be whatever it is. But just having unlimited free time isn't actually all that good for you and isn't actually all that fun if you, if that's all you've got because then you kind of start to feel like you're not needed and not wanted and that then leads to mental health issues and it can also lead to, you know, sitting on the couch a lot watching a lot of TV, which isn't good for your health and all those things. Yeah, you know, that's one of the things that I used to see, well, COVID kind of did a lot of that. I see those signs in my mouth because before she used to be really busy, like really, really busy. When the world was shut down, when the world was shut down, I think a lot of things shut down within her and a lot of the older people as well, because it's something that, you know, of course, we didn't see it. But of course, they never would have thought in a million years that there's something like that. What happened? Sure. And not knowing where it came from. So whatever their beliefs were, it's kind of went out the door. So it's like, we've all been lied to for so many years. And now this is happening to us. So now what did we do? What's tomorrow's going to bring? Do I just hold on to my yesterday's and just sit here right here in the confinement of my room and my space? This is probably where I'm the most safest act rather than go out that door. Right. Yeah. You know, I think there's a big issue in particularly during COVID, but this continues with older adults in general and us as loved ones too. There's this balance between living and being safe. Right. If you're really safe, that can be terrific. But if your safety comes at the expense of living and having a joyful life, maybe safety isn't all it's cracked up to be. I mean, I see this a lot with in my care management practice when we've got like adult children who want their parents to move to move into a facility or to leave downsides out of a big house because it will be safer. And then the older adult who's saying, I don't want to be safe if it means I have to leave my friends that I live with in my neighborhood or my church and my community. Right. Like if safety means giving up my life then in terms of the joy and the things that give me meaning and purpose, I don't want that. And that can be really hard for loved ones to hear. But I understand it in some ways because what is life if you don't have the things in it that bring you joy? Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. I get it. No, I get it. It is just like this is what I'm listening to you. It's things that I've already know, but it's just reminders to understand like my mom. We've from Chicago, but she's lived with me since my dad passed away. She's been with me for 14 years, 14 years, 14 years since my dad passed away. And she, 15 years, but she's been with me for 14 years. And she was a go-getter, you know, very driven everything. And we used to live in California first. And I, and I saw the change. When we, she was, you know, in the community with the church, she was traveling, she was doing things with the church going to, you know, Mexico and doing all of those things. And then we moved here to Vegas. She was no longer around her friends, you know, friends there, friends there. And even though she was trying to build more friendships here, it just wasn't the same. And what I didn't realize is that through all of those things, there were significant people in her lives that were removed. Like her mother was removed from her life. My grandmother died. She also had dementia, you know, so it was certain things that was happening during that, that motion that, you know, we, we're just living. So we're not understanding exactly what happened to where COVID came to, where you really considered and really see and understand. So when you say us as adult children, trying to say, okay, this is a safe, you know, no, I don't want you to stay in California because really no one's there. So you can move with us, you know, you, you stay with us. And now that I see that, well, that probably, well, probably was the best benefit for, you know, for her, because she would have been around her friends that she, you know, in the community that, you know, she had created for herself being there in California. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So that kind of gave me okay. That that that's enough. Well, thank you. Yeah. Thank you for that one thing. Yeah. Thank you. That's that's something. Yeah. Yeah. That was something there. Yeah. Guess what? We've come through to the ending of our show. That was quick. That means it was fun. Yes. That was so quick. It was really quick. So Corinne, are there any last words that you want to say, any advice that you want to give listeners? Where could I find you at your book, everything, but everything that you have to offer, please share it. Sure. So I have a website. It's my name, karenalman.com. And there you can learn more about me. You can find links for the book. You can also find where the media appearances like this one. And if you want to reach out for any reason, you can do that through the website as well. And my my final message would be, you know, look forward to growing older. Think positive thoughts. I love that. I love that. Embrace it all. Embrace it all. Embrace it all. It's such a, it's a gift to age. It's a gift. There's only one alternative to doing it. And you don't want that one. So yep. Yeah. All right to my beautiful people out there. Again, thank you all for listening today. And again, this has been good. I mean, what I'm like in, in uh-huh, because every time that I'm on here with the guests is always a confirmation for me. It's always a confirmation for me. And it feels so good. It really does. So when we do have talks like this and we go past our 45 minutes or whatever. And I'm like, wow, we're done already. It feels so amazing. So I just want to say thank you so much for just sharing this space with me right here. And my listeners and just sharing this, this topic right here, it's all always overlooked. You know, nobody really sit and think about it, you know, and thank you. Because it was something that I truly needed in my life right now to hear as well. So again, thank you, Corinne. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And two listeners, yes. And two our listeners, remember that each day of life, it brings, it brings our own beauty and opportunities. So let's embrace it. Let's embrace aging, not as a decline, but as a vibrant chapter of growth and discovery. Remember it's a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift, the honor, and it's a blessing. So again, thank you all for tuning in until next time. Remember, follow social media and rape. Give us a rating. Give us a review. Give us a review. See you next time. Have a good one. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering an empowerment here at the Season of Sublove Podcast. Remember, embracing self-love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review. And don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season of Sublove. Connect with a like-minded individuals who are also on their self-love journey. Now, if you have any questions on topics that you'd like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at Season of Sublove@gmail.com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself. Today, and remember, you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. [MUSIC] Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to ChumbaCasino.com. 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