TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 787 - Soldiers of Fortune (SNES)
You're about to listen to Tadpog, Tyler and Dave play old games. It's a comedy video game podcast. We would like to stress that the host are not experts and are really just very crass commentators. Seriously, this is an explicit podcast that happens to talk about video games sometimes. So please enjoy this pretty okay podcast with Tyler and Dave. Hello Internet, welcome to three Griseled Mercs, send down to trade stories. Hell yeah, if you need help. I was a priest until they made me a scientist. If you're in trouble. He said his backstory. Yeah, the scientist character of the game we're going to talk about originally was a priest in the Amiga version. And he had a collar and then obviously that was a no no. What's weird is they they censored that on the super Nintendo, but also in the Sega Genesis. So I don't know. I don't know the deal is anyway. Well, today we're talking about soldiers of fortune soldiers of fortune. Did you like that trivia like three minutes in listeners? Let us know on patreon.com/dadfog if you like that. Yeah, like more priests to scientists. Yeah, well, most importantly. As of today's recording, we got birthday boy. Yeah, we do. So we've already said it privately, but now we publicly say happy birthday. Thank you birthday. Thank you. The traditional tadpog gift. We got you a pop star box. The pop star box. Nice. It's an empty box of pop tart. Sweet. I'll cherish it forever. I'll keep it safe like the Super Mario cereal. I kept it for three years and then it was like fuck this up though. This way mine was a Star Wars Pepsi two liter. Right. What is this? What is this? It's a Super Nintendo game. It's Capcom. I can see that. I get to turn my flash. I'm praying you don't have it. Nikki double checked. Super buster, bros. No, I don't have super bus. All right, sweet. Thank you. That's awesome of you. I didn't have to do that for both of us. Thank you both. Thank you. You're welcome. Yeah, it's a it's been a long time since I've added a game to the collection. So this is nice. Yeah, you're up by one. Yeah, buster, bros. Because I originally picked up battle toads double dragon. I was like, hey, Nikki, he got this. He's like, yes, he does. I've got that. Very good. I asked, you know what? That's one of those games that I have. One of many that I have never played. I have no idea if double dragon, super double dragon, battle toads is any good. I I played it. Carpenter has it. I remember playing it at McIwen's cabin and I was disappointed. Yeah, I games like that. And this kind of ties into what we're going to talk about today, maybe, at least for me, it does. I think it's really it's really difficult for me to play a super Nintendo game now for the first time and be completely blown away. Right. Yeah, standards have been set. Yeah, not since. Um, uh, metal metal, metal, metal falcons revenge. Yeah. Come at the super skill game. Have I been blown away? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was literally the last time I remember sitting down and be like, God damn. Yeah, that was a super good game. I think a lot of that had to do with with, I mean, it's Mike Tyson's punch out or super punch out, but with the super scope. Yeah, that's awesome. I mean, that's a, that's a great idea for a, for a, you know, light gun game. Yeah. And I do also have things for you guys to try. Okay. So all the Beetlejuice merch is coming out. These are Fanta Beetlejuice branded haunted apple. So what's it going on? Haunted apple. Haunted apple tells you anything you each get your own. Oh, no. We're not, we're not splitting one. Each get your whole shit. It's like, it's like, yeah, that's Michael Keaton for sure. Yeah, I bought a, I bought a, I had a bottle of it. I saw it. I was like, oh, Melissa, my pet. She loves green apple stuff. So let's Beetlejuice bought it for. So I guess to try it more. You finish the story, you're not going to be offended if I take like a sip on it, right? That is all I expect to have. I mean, I just, I'm just looking at the 160 calories. And it's like, I don't know. It could be zero calories. And that's all that you would do. All right. OK, I get the full ego. This is the official Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice movie partner. Yeah. Now is it sponsored by a pizza in or? It's got show bliss of that. Oh, my God. This smells horrible. Yes, it does. It's on brand. Oh, my God. It smells like something, but not apple. It's haunted. It's haunted apple. It's OK. Right now. Are you ready? I guess. Let's just go for it. All right. Let's see who could drink it. Long as no, no, no, no, no, I'm going to take a sip and I'm going to set it aside. You know, I poured into my birthday. Yeah. Come on. Let's show it. Is that what you want for your birthday? Beetlejuice, break it off. Tyler, I want my day for his birthday. Tyler, I want my half of the super Nintendo game back if I have to drink this whole hand, it smells like Red Bull a little bit like I don't know it. No, it's mostly known for its great taste. The red. I like Red Bull, but this smells like it smells like fucking medicine. Almost like cough syrup. All right, go. Oh, my God, it's not great. I want you to take another sip. It's it's not good. It's the aftertaste. I can't but take another one more sip. And while you do it, think about bubble gum. It does taste like bubble gum, right? Yeah, it's bubble gum flavored. Fanta like apple bubble gum. Yeah, this is awful. It's really bad. So bad. Fanta because I bought it for Melissa. We trot like I was sick. I just wanted, I could drink the calories. I wanted something with flavor. I said, like, let's open that bottle of Fanta that I bought for you. And neither one of those tried immediately. So she pours it in a cup for me. Titans, the lid of the cup and immediately starts spewing out the straw as if it is haunted. We do not know why. And it continues to pulsate out the top until I open it, unscrewed it. We both tried it. We're incredibly repulsed by it, dumped it out. Beetlejuice, ejaculate, and then when she walked in like two days ago, what the fucking 12 pack of it? I was like, why did you do that? She's like, what are you talking about? That's the horseshit. We hated this meat on the cup. She's like, oh, oh, we gave it to the kids who had the exact same reaction you guys did. This is really super bad. Black coffee. I don't like Fanta. I think it's one of the more flavorful sodas, but that is bad. Yeah, it's bad. Well, I wonder if you can make it good somehow. Like if you can exit in like, I don't know, some Mallorton, the two, we can't sleep each other out. I just drew Mallorton. Beetlejuice. What's wrong, babe? What do we call that? What do we call the Mallort and Beetlejuice Fanta drink? Like it's got to have a fancy name. Mallort Beetlejuice. I, Lydia, the eats of sound mind. There we go. Oh, no, it's so horrible. It's like the actor who played the dad. We can name it up for him. OK, yeah. Jeffrey, Jeffrey Jones. Yeah, Jeffrey Jones. I'd like one Jeffrey Jones, please. Oh, right. Come on. Oh, you mean, you, of course, you mean a Beetlejuice haunted apple, Fanta and Mallorton. Of course, on the rocks. I like to think of a world where there's like snobbery about whether or not you drink your Jeffrey, Jeffrey Jones on the rocks or if you drink it neat. Well, why do you guys been up to you since last Monday? Let's see. I watched slow horses season four. I finished that up and it's really good. Highly recommended. It's on Apple TV and other places, I'm sure. But my, but mainly Apple TV is where it originates. This is a really good British kind of spy show. I've talked about previous seasons on the show before. Yeah. I don't know what else to say other than I really enjoyed it. Season four was probably my favorite one so far and it's all out there now. We also shot started a new show called Sweet Pea. Around the girl that played in Fallout. Yeah, is in the show. OK, she's she plays a nice British girl who is kind of like invisible to everyone around her. She's just kind of a plain sort of girl who no one pays attention to. And she feels kind of forgotten and left out of everything. And she starts to devise a list of people she'd like to kill. OK, only one episode of this show is out. There's a episode of Buffy like that. Yeah, a few rest of development episodes. Yeah, the episode of Buffy, she is so ignored. She literally turns invisible and the CIA bring her on as an assassin. Cool. So they give her the list of people. Yep, she's like, wait a minute. You told me these were all vampires. Season one of Buffy's wild, man. Sounds like it. That was in season one. Pretty sure. Wow. They were still in the high school. They get right to it then. But the Sweet Pea is on stars. I think that's the network it's on right now. It's like the death knell of Ash and Evil Dead stars. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So only one episode has come out so far. And it's promising. Cool. See, I'll update everyone on that. If I really watched a whole lot this week, just except for the, you know, I'm stuck on this cleaning lady show that I said was so bad. Right. You didn't have much to go, right? Now it's bad enough. No, no. Well, there's another season apparently came out. But it's not completely finished. Like it's in progress, I guess, on Fox or Hulu. And so I picked it up again. Because at this point, I'm like, I'm all in. Why not? And it's got its, it's got its high points. I mean, it's not the worst show I've seen. It's just some of the writing is really terrible. And some of the delivery by the actors, you can tell that some of the actors are not native English speakers. So they put the emphasis on the wrong syllables here and there. And they're trying, when they try to like, you know, evoke a sense of desperation, it doesn't come across correctly. So some of that is lost in translation kind of deal, you know, but. And the plot is, it's your typical weekly drama, procedural thing. You know, it's nothing special, but I'm into it now. So fuck it, it's not the first bad show I've gotten into and just watched because, well, fuck, I'm just going to have to watch it. Because now I want to know what happens. That's a real like 90s mentality. It is. It really. And I've watched the bulk of TV in my life in the 90s or 80s. So I tell you, you've just been conditioned. Yeah, I understand you have to watch. Yeah, I think it's why you think like back on old shows and you find out that like, you know, this show was only on for one season, but it feels like it was on for a lot longer than that. That's a lot of shorts, two seasons. Right. Like, holy shit, it seems wrong. Dude, 40 seasons, some are sitting like that. That has over a long time. But there was this one episode. It was like the finale. And I'm going to spoil shit right now. Nobody cares. But nope, there was this there. So I told you is about this cleaning lady from Cambodia who is in the country illegally, her son's sick. She's a surgeon in Manila. Right, right. And she is in the country illegally to get medical care for her son. And, you know, chaos ensues. But one of the things she does, she's a cleaning lady. And she takes whatever job she can. And she ends up being in the situation where she witnesses a murder. And the guy who does the murdering, who's kind of a gangster, a Mexican gangster, takes a shine to her and decides he likes her and spares her. So it's like weeds. Yeah, kind of. And it hires her to clean up after his dead bodies or whatever. When his, you know, when he needs something removed, chemically, like a body, he calls on her to do it. And so he kind of falls for, man, that sort of I keep burping and that soda's coming back. You're haunted. But anyway, she kind of falls for the guy and there's this whole, well, they won't they bullshit, you know, the typical stuff. Real Jim and Pam. One of the things that in season three, the guy that had hired her, the main guy of the show, he's not in it. And the whole script of season three is written around him having been kidnapped and being held for ransom. And so they're working on trying to figure out with how to get him, get him on, on kidnap. Yeah, sure. And so the whole season goes through, they're trying to go rescue this guy, trying to find him. They're doing all this stuff. And it's just even more kind of contrived than the stuff before it was. And I'm like, what the fuck is going on? And at the end of the season, there's like this car chase is she's in this one car and he is being held captive in the other with his wrist zip tied and that pulls up next to her and the guy that had kidnapped him that was sitting next to him, reaches across to shooter and he heroically bashes the gun out, you know, with his zip tied hands, he bashes down on the gun and that shoots the driver in the car, filming in Louise's right off the fucking cliff and he dies. And I was like, hell yeah, he fucking dies. He died in real life, a guy died like from cancer. And he was sick the whole season and couldn't be in the show. It's because like right after that happened, it like fades to black and shows this title card where it dedicates the season to him and I looked it up and I was like, oh shit, felt bad. I did. I mean, and again, I've watched the show and I didn't hate the guy. Right. Sure. Yeah. He was he was in some stuff. I mean, he's been in a few things. I got to look his name up again. But anyway, yeah, it turns out the guy actually died and it was like, wow, okay. So will they won't they? The answer is they will not. Aside from that, I've been playing a lot of overwatch Henry Winkler will come in and fill in. Probably. Sorry. I've been playing a lot of overwatch since I got my PC up and running and that's been great. Being back on PC. Nice. Playing overwatch. I'm. Hell yeah. I'm better than I remember. Yeah. On PC. Like it's I'm way better on PC than I am a console. I thought it was pretty good on console. Yeah. I know you were playing with the PC and the PC pool. Yeah, I'm way better on PC. Cool. Having fun with the wrecking ball is one of the characters one of the heroes and I like wrecking ball. I'm picking up a lot. I've been watching a lot of like the streamer I like emo and play and he I've been trying to kind of mimic his style of playing wrecking ball and finding out the stuff he could like you know, like latch onto a wall and just bash through people and you can swing up in the air and slam down on the ground and then you can immediately transform and shoot them with your guns and. Yeah, it's really fun. Cool concept for a character. It is and I mean I've heard you know I used to annoy the shit out of me when the other team would have a wrecking ball and now I get it. Yeah. I get why people kind of want to play him because he's easily the most fun tank there is. He was when he was released I played just honestly just because I love the character concept. Yeah, I can try this out and played it for about a week and I was like yeah, it was fun, but nope. He's hard to master. It was more it was more me just being like I don't really jive with overwatch. Yeah. Not a lot of people. I know I know a lot of people who enjoy the game but most of the people I know have never even played it because it's just a it's for a certain type of gamer like it's it's a team shooter you know and not everyone wants to get into that right and I get I completely understand and it's very complicated I mean understanding the different characters and what they can do and how they counter each other right. You know I'm just now getting into like the con I've been playing this game since 2016 and I'm just now getting into the concept of counter swapping and like you know finding out the best counter for someone's if someone's got a diva and they're and I'm say playing diva also I will sometimes drop and switch to Zaria because diva can't block Darias or Zaria's. Now if Daria was an overall student then I might play it might be it might be a crossover anyway I've gotten a little bit more into trying to counter swap just to play in a little more competitive and stuff like that and Dave just in time for your birthday over watches new season starts tomorrow hell yeah Wednesday or Tuesday the 15th just you know they knew your birthday was around this time I'm sure and they know how much you love a lot and they're like well okay we didn't get them with his favorite anime crossover we didn't get of a cowboy bebop but if we if we this will this will get up this again it's the Halloween stuff and it looks it looks great I'm excited for it like usual and then of course you know later this month they're doing the my hero academia crossover right yeah they're shit they're fucking sites are aimed right at my wallet yeah they are so I'm gonna continue to enjoy that I'm telling you man. If they and I know this isn't their thing and I know they got their branding and that's super important I totally respect that however they would have I would be playing that game right now and they would have gotten my money if it would have just been like yes Mike Spiegel's in the game it's not like someone dressed up as him it's him yeah they're like fuck all right but yeah yeah they got this whole like lore for their characters and so they get it they're impersonating right dressing up as them I get it that's the brand yeah it's a I understand it's not like Fortnite where you get the character bananas which I also have the money or academia skins for thanks to many vigilant friends notified me in Fortnite yeah I think I was one of those you are had three people tell me and I got those skins and I haven't played Fortnite any year yeah I haven't played it that much when that when those Deadpool Wolverine skins came out I played yeah but Henry's the main reason I played it was because Henry like to play it and he's like he's got his Minecraft squad now sure I'm not part of it which is totally fine right but there hasn't been a lot of Fortnite playing aside from all of that I have you know I went out yesterday because it was nice weather I had mowed the yard and cleaned up the leaves and the gutters and got ready for you know hell yeah the next one through cleaning leaves and shit this is non-stop in our neighborhood especially since I had so many trees it's just but I like to keep it somewhat cleaned up and I have like you know a big backpack blower and you know all the shit to keep keep up with it nice well yesterday I got it was nice weather and I was caught up with everything I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna wash my car so I have a pressure washer not just a sim real life pressure was real pressure washers real life and so I pulled it out and last time I tried to use it it's got this it's got this soap dispenser tank bolted to it like though your house cleaning soap or your car wash soap into it uh-huh when you put a specific nozzle on the end of the wand thing it it'll do both it does soap okay then you put it it's just about the pressure so like if you have this one this one on it does soap but any of the others it won't allow the soap through okay and then it's just water at the high pressure so anyway I had like I got in I tried to do this a couple weeks ago and I couldn't get the soap to come out it was like what the fuck but I so I put it aside and came back to it and I kind of taken the hose off and blown into the soap that's gonna make sure make sure there was an old it's an old tank no let me get through this and so I blew out the nozzle and then I was like well that didn't help it didn't work so there's another I was like always on the other side so I took the brass nozzle off of the thing that cleaned it out we're good it's clogged up bolted it back on you're gonna be all right yeah man okay I just got a whole bunch of you know what it's all done all right I'll make this quick my soap tank my soap tank exploded in the story are you okay now I'm great except for the fact I'm fine except for the fact that my pressure washer is useless because oh now the pressure washer itself won't work the soap tank is like in line it's it lime over inside or something well it's just the way that it hooked up there's no way to shut off the flow to the soap tank it's all or nothing it's either you've got pressure and no soap or no pressure and soap so I've got to like fucking either replace the soap tank which is like $50 to order off the internet that's I mean I don't know how much the pressure was but it was a three hundred and some odd dollar pressure washer and the tank is about this gay big is like you know as big as a sandwich it's like a burrito-sized yeah but I'm thinking I got to figure out something so something to close that off yeah so like I just I just I can't use it at all and so I'm just gonna like get like a valve or something to close that thing off but yeah that was fun because like once I connected it back up you know the water's going into the tank and it like was coming out the top on the fill on the fill cap and so I just like went you know pop the cap down and pow and suddenly my driveway was just covered in water flowing water a driveway wash though soap I did I got a nice big area my of my patio washed off so that was my big adventure for the week picture on dot com slash that pog new pressure slash I could have been like I should have been bad I'm I think the pressure the soap tank had like a seam in the bottom which is weird because it's like a 3100 pounds of pressure in this pressure washer and what was it a fail safe so if it blew it blow there maybe maybe it's very possible like some metal part actually exploding I don't know but yeah fucker done you got to get it done fix before Halloween so you can put Beetlejuice haunted Apple Fanta go over to Jefferson and just love it I love the smell of their costumes but that's all I got what do you got today birthday boy um a finished final fantasy to I was playing that that's a good game yeah yeah yeah I liked it a lot the pixel remaster specifically I'm tempted to like go back and play like the family calm version and and just see how how bad it is I'm interested in that version because like I thought that on a souls version was not where it was at yeah not though not the one to play man I the reason I want to go back and see is or how it is on family calm is because I talked about this a little bit last week but I mean I got to a point in that game where it was like I'm not trying to out level the content but like the bosses are hitting me for like 100 points of damage per hit and it's like I have 700 hit points you know what I mean and so it's one of those or it's like it wasn't a good decision that they give you HP you know incrementally in the pixel remaster yeah like I get it you don't want to like have to resort to hitting your own party members to get their HP up but at the same time it's like this is for tactics good no for fun right it was not a challenging game at all and it's like some sometimes that's fun like it was fun for me to like get the spell towed to level eight and just be like oh it's a boss you're towed yeah it's me I told I even think about that I turned every boss into a toad once I got it to eight I turned every boss into a toad up until the final boss where I cast toad it did the animation like it was gonna work and then it ended up healing him oh damn which was fine because then two turns later he was melee to death damn but yeah I do like I like it when RPGs lean in on where they make it where status effects aren't useless I love that cuz like the ones that I played when I was a kid status effects were just the garbage it's like don't even bother literally never bothered with it until tactics yeah and then it was like must audio okay yep yep maybe I like this status effect thing yeah stone stone stone I had like in my cousin final fantasy to the fourth slot in the part it's a four person party the fourth slot pretty much always rotates out with some NPC and but the three core it's a good twist in the story right that I did feel like was the high point and I gotta say man like for it being a Famicom game with a real straightforward story I was impressed by the story cuz I was like oh this is fucking like way better than I thought it was gonna be and I said that I would expect from like prophecy for yeah that era yeah because it's like it's a real strong narrative like it's you can tell from the design they're like we want we want a strong narrative and like opens up with like you know the your the main characters fleeing a city that's been that was just taken by the Empire they do the trope where you fight enemies that you can't defeat but it's at the very beginning of the game so it's one of those where it's like okay it doesn't really matter and then it just kind of expands from there I like the password system where it's like you talked it and you essentially it rarely is an NPC telling you okay you need to go here and do this you have to talk to NPCs and it's like this rudimentary dialogue system where it's like okay I learned the term airship from the princess so now I need to talk to NPCs and ask them about the airship and then one of them will be like oh you might want to check out you know the city to the west the airship right so it's pretty neat I thought it I was impressed so I finished that and then for three they're like now let's go back to just ward a lot thing again just anonymous nameless worries a lot yeah I haven't played it yet it's on my list I was gonna I was thinking about playing the final fantasy three pixel remaster after I finished two but I liked to enough to be like I'm pretty sure like the game designer for two did the saga series so which started with games well it started with three game boy games and then became the romancing saga series on Super Famicom so yeah I started playing final fantasy legend on the game boy it's pretty fucking it's it's different is it's different as hell and it's like in a good way it's it's not this weapon durability in those yeah you've got what it's all bait like every three battle every three steps is a random battle and weapon durability is what well all I remember I mean I was honestly a little like surprised that I thought the random encounters weren't frequent enough because like maybe because I remember I tried to shake but all three of them I played one of them and I remember he was like just a warning you will get in a battle every like so many steps like no matter what okay one of them is like that it's it's not the first one because I made it from like the first village to the second village in the overworld without encountering I mean I was like I turned to Nick you know I was like I don't think there are random encounters on the overworld and then eventually I got one and then it's like okay and then when it's like it's neat because it's not just humans you do you do the thing where you select your party you kind of build your party from the beginning there's humans mutants which in the Japanese version are Espers I wish they would have done that yeah the US version because like those Espers come into play in Final Fantasy 6 and then monsters so you can like have a group of four monsters in a party if you want to it's not a good idea but like they work or it's and they what's cool is each of those like the humans the mutants and the monsters all level up differently the humans level up strictly by gear you buy you buy them gear and equip the gear and you buy them potions that increase their stats permanently so it's all money so that's you take the money and convert it into human stats and then the mutants are kind of like Final Fantasy 2 where it's like if you if you cast spells they get the stats for the spells get better it's not as like cut and dry as it is in Final Fantasy 2 which I prefer it in two especially in the pixel remaster because you get these little progress bars right where it's like oh I can monitor the progress of these skills but it's like the mutants are real random because it's like those are their spells have durability too because it's like you can get only cast mirror ten times but every time every few battles their spells get randomized so it's like you get new spells so it's a really weird like mercurial kind of system and then the fucking monsters are sometimes you kill an enemy and the monster can eat it essentially and like there's this evolution chart that you don't have access to but like that's right I mean it's 2024 so I got online and there's this really cool like so you do too right not in game not in game they don't give it to you is what I should say but yeah that's that's how they level up it's like they just eat other monsters and get they evolve that way essentially it's it's neat the translation is hilariously bad like there's if you try I tried to like I tried to retire one of my members to get a new party member and that message I got was he don't all right and then we're like we do neither do I would you go to like recruit one it just says who I will do so there's a lot of there's a lot of like janky like 19 what you would expect from a 1989 JRPG on the game boy I played this game called I haven't played a Final Fantasy 14 much so like that's why there's a whole bunch of shit okay there I I played this game called scarmond which is a indie RPG that was made an RPG maker that is some of those I was electrically good I was surprised it is it is done in an 8-bit style it's it's story light mccarmons SCAR M-O-N-D yeah okay it's Carmon yeah you got it and it's it's like an 8-bit style RPG you build your party like you would in like Final Fantasy 1 but instead of having like four jobs to choose from there's there's 12 and they have customizable skills so you like you can for instance like I I wanted a I heard the game was hard so I kind of went with some I went with a defensive party it's not hard at least not yet maybe it gets hard but I was a little kind of like I was disappointed that it wasn't play a tower style challenging yeah so I played it turtle Tyler style got a paladin a knight a dust car which is essentially like a dark night in a cleric and as you level up and collect orbs you get you can buy skills essentially for for each of the the job so there's customization built in it's neat it's story light the story telling in it is done in a way where it's like there's not much exposition it's kind of one of those things where it's like you can tell there's a story if you want to know the story you kind of have to look for it if you look for it you find it and if you don't look for it it's it's fine it's it's mechanically pretty sound okay it's neat it was 11 bucks I feel like that's important to say I feel like it's worth $11 check it out if you like if it sound if you like that kind of thing check it out you'll know like if you watch a trailer I feel like you'll know you're like yeah this is my a me thing or not the Donda Don anime is out oh yeah I talked about the manga I don't know a couple months ago it's been over that just trying to make sure that's from don to don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't it's good it's good it's good it's nice to see it's really cool to see I'm more of an anime person than I am manga I did read some of the manga but when I when they announced the anime I'm one of those people were it's like okay they're gonna do an anime gonna stop reading the manga because I because I'd rather watch the anime I'm like that to it's in a chain saw man it's like that too because it's like I don't want to read ahead I want to like I want to be surprised by the anime see I like to have the manga but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm gonna read right it's cool to look at the art and maybe send sort of notes some of the differences in the art styles yeah because of the animation whatever I like that but I don't read them the only manga I've ever I was so into it I sought out the manga was it nardo no Dragon Ball super action really because they're who the fuck knows we're gonna put that production like the manga is light years ahead now I don't know if they're gonna produce any more anime after the last last arc dude that new Dragon Ball game looks fucking good sparking zero does look fucking good it looks fucking good and all the what if scenarios and shit you can do like just to explore like yeah it's all my I hear it's fucking hard I've heard that too like that surprising and like and it's not balanced like characters who are gods fucking play like gods and characters are human are just fucking humans yeah like it's not balanced like fires I think that's neat I think that's I think that's really like the angel character it's like you can't hit him in the anime go kumjita no one's ever laid a punch on him so literally dodges everything good luck I added it to like my wait list on is that Ernie deal dot com it's a site that I use where it's like you can set a threshold where it's like if this game drops below 50% price fucking email me so I went on there and added to my wait list I was really I did that with there's a game called metaphor as well which is that just came out it's a fucking Atlas JRPG that looks like it's there's a persona people and it looks like a persona game like it's styled like persona five but it is a straight up this is a fantasy RPG which that that's talking back to the luffier day right yeah which is super interesting to me and I watch some I watch some gameplay it looks it looks fucking good that's another one where it's like damn I've been like really tempted by two games in the same week to pay fucking $70 I can't do it I got to stay strong or try to but when but when they showed like kid Goku for like sparking zero it's like oh fuck man I really really want that have you seen this diamond that they're dragon ball diamond that they're I got an email about that from crunchyroll which yeah that's like they're but what I don't like about I read about it I was like oh they're all they're all little I don't know if I like that I just want Goku to be little little Goku everyone else is big that's funny that's funny to me that was one of Henry's favorite things about it was this little kid just kicking a shit out of all these grown man yeah we and then that's pretty much it we tried the I brought the sour stuff that we ate on last episode I brought I brought that home Henry made it to level two and I was like that was pretty good I think I'll wait I think I'll wait a little bit Choco Chica and Kina made it all the way through nice kind of had a drag Kina across the finish line because she didn't know what to do with it they both finished it and I'm camping the website because they've released level 4 but I mean it sells out of me so do you okay so you cherry lemon lime hello hell yeah hell yeah for that damn you could buy a 48 pack of the level one strawberries for 48 dog damn that's a lot of yeah so I so when you bought this box it didn't come with a level four and five voucher kind of wish yeah and I mean it was on my list for a long time before I said twenty dollars free shipping that I'll do it because normally it's like forty dollars thirty five dollars only one time I still haven't seen it because I'm on the alert alerts I want to see one level four if I if you know yeah yeah but still it's never drop that low again I just got really lucky whenever I happen to see it for hey they got my number this time I'm glad you were able to get it I thought they were great and it was it was really fun bringing it back home I gave Nikki a level three strawberry without telling her what it is that was great I loved that that was probably I mean that alone I don't know it's like for twenty bucks no it was just like here it's a good dad move yeah we got a kick out of it we all had a lot of fun at her expense but yeah it was it was because she's real sensitive to that stuff I'm not abating myself to be a much I'm painting a actually a true picture of myself but like it got her in the like in the like in the jaw you know she's like no but Henry's cracking up it was yeah it was good is Melissa and Eddie refused but the kid can I can I and chocolate drinker really liked it so I'm really like we have to give this a grandpa so now last year we're gonna take Melissa's dad oh I was about to ask which dad but yeah that's pretty much it man that's that's it how about you Tyler after being off work for two weeks and going back it's just been work yeah got a lot a lot of shit to do I believe it and then my you know because I'm teaching the class I'm gonna catch up my class yeah it's gonna ask if you were if you were still doing that yeah because I want to if I you know I teach this semester if I can still manage to get a class the next two semesters next fall I'll qualify to start my doctorate nice that then I'll try to do that then cool because to go back to where I got my masters my health care experience was not sufficient they want three years teaching experience for me to get my doctorate you know that once you get your doctorate I am never not gonna call you dr. Holland that's what I expect thank you I didn't go to school for seven years to be called mr. Holland or Tyler so Anna and I will be in a race for our doctorates because that's when she'll start hers as well okay well good luck if anyone can do it I know it's you the the because at least my masters was half like multiple choice tests and papers the doctor program is all fucking papers it's like I'm after like a 45 five page paper man what a great time for chat GPT to hit me a thing I didn't run it through a filter to make it not seem like chat GPT wrote it right chat GPT rewrite this as if you didn't write yeah I and chat GPT is like truly one of the best fucking things like I use it at work all the time and it's like thank you for turning this thing that would take 45 minutes into three minutes right I realize what I'm doing isn't going to be a job right but hey it's a job for me right now I do have let's see I did see no more fan talk no more fan so the seat see if you guys will work through it see if you guys can guess what the top ten unhealthiest desserts are okay these aren't branded just in general the top ten unhealthiest desserts are these hmm are there any limitations to it are they kind of all over the place like it's some of it like like ultra processed and some of it is like it's it's all stuff I think both of you have I'm sure both of you had all of these okay cool boy that's a big and their desserts in the sense that they are a thing that you eat after dinner yep okay yep what's probably the worst pie that you could possibly eat chest pie just pie chest pie is not on there there are there are two three three things with pie in the title okay banana cream banana cream is not on there one is a cream pie but it's not hell yeah I don't think that's one of the worst things you can eat that it's probably not quite healthy not the way I do it it's probably very healthy lots of protein I mean it's got to be like something a teenage mutant ninja turtles Hormel no brand no branded stuff was it Hormel the green vanilla fried pie yeah the shit I had enough of those as a kid where I had it to my doc I'm gonna be 70 and my doctor is gonna be like hey I don't know if you knew that there's a law action a class action lawsuit even if you don't have diabetes you will yeah just from having eaten this just so it's such a broad yeah it is it is a little tough one at one of them we just one of them I think we've been brought up last week during our Italian and no we're miss you tear miss you is number six Wow it's unhelp I mean obviously it's not healthy but it's unhealthy enough to be on a Wow what's so what is a so unhealthy about I would imagine the I mean because you've got the lady fingers suppose you know soaked in liquor and then the the the the the the the the sweet cheese filling so alright cheesecake cheesecake cheesecake number five nice nice you said cheese right at five and then you got five and six I mean he's gotta be if it's some sort of pie I mean I assume can I ask if it's a fruit pie if one of the things is a fruit pie not a fruit pie okay one of the things does have banana in it oh meal bananas split banana split number ten but it was a banana that's just empty vitamins day oh yeah that's true yeah and Ian said oatmeal cream pie I don't know cream pie there is there's a cream pie but not not oatmeal so banana not oatmeal or banana not banana look guys I only know one other cream pie I'll give you that one number eight chocolate cream pie oh I was gonna say chocolate pie I don't know if that would have counted I would have counted it okay fudge ooh I'm gonna take well fudge I'd say fudge is a part of one of them oh brownie fudge brownie number three brownie sunday brownie brownie sunday okay those are good though John John Turley I know you're listening Sam's Club dude oh they got them at least once a week we go to Sam's Club yeah the cheap pizza yeah that's good pizza especially for the price and I usually get it sushi to no shit yeah they've got good sushi like that you order there or no you go well you go it's not the cafe got you go to the sushi department oh yeah and they make though even make it right there for you well how fresh it's price well I assume considering it's yeah it's pretty good I mean I can buy I mean a huge thing for like 25 bucks really that would be like 70 in a restaurant by all accounts it's quality and it's very good quality but he always gets so I'll get like a cup of chocolate ice cream like soft serve or whatever yeah he'll get the brownie sunday which has caramel and brownie a huge fucking brownie and then some ice cream in it yeah and so John maybe sounds good except the caramel I'll just stop yeah he the caramel sucks yeah I'm not a big caramel either it's like a caramel either but they always put it in there before he has a chance to stop him yeah so and today we we hate this today today we're because we'll order on the app you know and you just walk up to the counter and the fucking scanning go at Sam's club fuck man it's insane that's why I like this you know Sam's so I can just scan shit as I go just walk out of the door it's a great future we're in it damn Sam's is is the future but so we'll place the order as we're walking through the store and then walk up to the counter and they usually have it ready and he she was doing the thing and he with the ice cream and he stopped her and he's like that's enough ice cream I'm really just in it for the brownie stuck the brownie in it and gave it to him so yeah John stop eating those I'll stop it feel stop but I don't need they won't stop can't stop won't stop stop never stop never stopping uh so brown old cigarettes and brownies john so brownie sunday okay so how many we got we got we've got like four you've got three brownie sunday five cheesecake six teramisu eight chocolate cream pie ten but in a split so we got five for halfway there okay that's good we're doing better than I thought we would German chocolate cake not on the list I don't see how it's not but it's not on the list is there a cake on the list like well cheesecake well cheesecake like a what one and two are cakes cakes like baked cake pineapple upside down cake no damn thankfully not because I really love pineapple yeah makes a house pineapple cake I have to get her to make one for my mom used to make those all the time and I don't think I've had one from anywhere in the last 30 years she makes this one every time I when she makes a cake for an occasion I always request this one it's just it's basically just pineapple cake mix with she uses pineapple juice uh in the mix and then puts pineapple pieces in it it's very yeah it's fucking good pineapple upside down cake on pizza okay yeah of course absolutely um what other like I'm trying to get the cake so I'm trying to think of cakes but cake nope um one you would normally order in a restaurant and the other has a vegetable in it carrot carrot cake what two I believe that I believe that wow it's so all the brown sugar and cream cheese icing well carrots are high in calories too and they're they're they're they're one of the sugarier vegetables yeah so okay and the other what we said one one was a vegetable and what the other one you normally get order in like a restaurant I think you say like German chocolate cake is it chocolate at all yeah chocolate is a chocolate lava yeah chocolate lava cake number one number one I mean those are really good I mean that makes sense yeah the usually the worst shit is the best shit yeah all right so we're lava cake number one carrot cake number two brownie sunday number three cheesecake number five teramisu six chocolate cream pie eight banana split 10 so we need seven and nine and five okay four four four seven and nine can you give us a hint about any of those three uh four four will be four is a very um Kentucky Mississippi type pie bourbon something pie uh oh pecan pie pecan pie number seven oh nice hey good job super dense heavy sugar yeah like it's basically sugar yeah pecan's in it yeah they're it's good yeah number number four you can order as a blizzard from Dairy Queen it has Mississippi in the title Mississippi mud mud pie number four sides a dream right yes okay so now you're just missing number nine right which is probably in both of your cabinets right now animal crackers no you're on the right track though not graham crackers I only eat those when I'm horny I need to calm down as they were intended to do just me standing in the kitchen with a huge erection just cramming slowly just staring off into space just living out how many graham crackers to make day to day go from fully erect to turtle and 600 it worked it's so dried out uh something that's probably in both of our cabinets right is it in your cabinet right now it is in my cabinet right now I mean I know no branded stuff but it's not like one of those like donuts is it no okay no um and also no branded stuff so it's not like a hostess cake or something or a Hormel cake it's Hormel pizza cake really is the uh Salisbury steak cake right that Hormel makes yeah I love that kid cuisine pie oh maybe in the first one of the first things you had as a kid that was a desert thing apple sauce a sense of shame uh you said animal crackers and it's not branded stuff so we're not like oreo territory vanilla wafers not a vanilla that was a good gas chocolate is a component pudding chocolate pudding oh fuck that's another good not putting that's a good one though you have some of that in my refrigerator not a refrigerated item okay not refrigerated item chocolate not refrigerated something you probably have in your cabinet and something that was probably one of your first snacks as a kid um a chocolate chip cookie chocolate chip cookie really truly I would not have expected that one to be as worse than banana pudding or banana split or whatever you have been asked split number 10 chocolate chip cookie number nine so how many chocolate chip cookies do you have to eat for it to be worse than a banana I eat chocolate chip cookies so I'm worried now worse because I could have a banana split instead yeah it makes perfect sense to me just make it all fucking full banana split it all like well not just in a big fucking boat yeah it literally about like fucking billin head the series biggie biggie I'm eating that and I'm just like well it's not chocolate chip cookies just got bananas and cherries and pineapple on it salad with a little ice cream come on oh fuck some fruit salad oh yummy yummy I can't I can't hang out fruit salad I like fruit salad let's talk about this game yeah sculptures of full chon uh so I remember I've always wanted to play this I forgot the name of it because it was in that one the one gaming magazine that my parents bought me my whole life it had a walkthrough in the back of it oh no shit holy shit I wish I had that walkthrough to play this game girl same all I remember is it said pick the scientist that's all I remember okay so I played as the scientist and I got fucking waxed dude I don't like the scientist I mean it was okay I guess he's the black mage I guess I so there are what how many six different characters that you can choose to play us okay this is this is a top-down shooter contra-ish style yeah and you can pick you get to pick different classes and so eat like different characters that have different stats so some have faster movement but lower health or more firepower but slower movement there's a lot of new ones too with leveling up and getting the money and your stats and what all the different drops do yeah it feels busy in that regard first aid sounds like they're saying birthday so I was very confused I couldn't understand dude there it sounds like player continue it sounds like they hired James Avery as shredder to do like there's an item you pick up that looks like a yeener shredder of tax yes that's to continue that's like your checkpoint yeah it's like a checkpoint but every time I'd pick it up I swear to god shredder would say kfc that's like I don't want you what I don't know because everything's super compressed yeah except for the yin yangs to show you it was made in the 90s right now right yeah you pick up that you pick up the funny look at ass uh yeah there are I so yeah all six different characters have different stats which is neat but when I was playing it it's like they still all kind of felt the same to me yeah like good except for like the the real slow like the one like the real extreme versions because like the thug what felt like super slow and I couldn't hang because like there are these fucking toads in the second level holy fuck it like like for like I mean their toads are gonna jump I guess but like they leap so fucking far like chain chomps and mario brothers and like if this game were better known I feel like the frog or toad would be hitting the top 10 like hated most hated enemies of all time list yeah yeah because I did like this I was I was surprised I was like this is this is certainly playable yeah I like the scientist was fucking fast yeah like jumping around and and the movement so like I had nope in that regard like I made it to before I died up came over I think I got to world 3 damn dog that's good because I did not I made it to world 2 that's as far as I got I made it to not even to world 2 I was there this I was bad at this game that doesn't mean it wasn't a fun experience I just and I didn't put as much time into it as I would have liked to have done but I'm not very good at video games like this I do enjoy them like the we talked about mercs and we talked about the ones that are the top downs but I'm like used to the arcade style where you just fucking shower bullets all over the screen and this was not that right yeah it's more of like a Zelda with guns in a way it plays a lot like I hate to compare it to the top down shooting in demolition man yeah it plays it plays a lot like that it really does um I demolition man crossed with um super smash tv yeah although I feel like super smash tv is real frantic feeling yeah yeah that's what I like yeah like that frantic just it's not it's not a bullet hell you can see the you can see them slowly moving unless they're frog jumping at you and I thought that I also liked this game I played it for longer than my requisite one hour there are only 16 levels in the game there are four worlds four levels per world and I think that's why it's I thought it was difficult I thought it was a difficult game and I think that has to do with why it's as difficult as it is because there's only 16 levels they cram it in there yeah because you've got the brigand the gentleman the thug the mercenary the Navi and the scientist so let's see try to look at what what the big difference is so the brigand has a rifle medium power average health high speed low wisdom the gentleman the gentleman looks like he's probably honestly the the best of all worlds uh so just health is a little low i did like the gentleman's weapon it's like a pistol yep medium range pistol the thug is a shotgun high power high health low speed low wisdom what is wisdom grant you in the game so wisdom is only important for the cpu it literally just determines how smart your ai uh companion is because you can only play this game to player right which is which is weird I think it's neat i like that um it's either you and a friend or you in the computer exactly and if you if you give wisdom to if you put points in wisdom um it makes the ai of the cpu better okay your teammate okay which i mean i never that's a weird state here's how i love it just make your stat your partner good i know i know i know i with my with the cpu and honestly i got this way with myself as well but when you every two levels you can put points in the stats based on how many coins you've picked up and um man i started out doing it manually and then for my cpu partner i would just do there's an option to just auto do it where it's like you don't you just let the you just let the game distribute it for you and i started it's gonna have a high wisdom or doesn't know what to pick right i started doing it for me and i was like oh yeah the game does it way better the game does it way better than i view so that kind of took some of the fun away from because i was like oh shit well yeah i'm not making decisions anymore the best option is to just let the computer do it then you're not even you're just you're just there right this is now just a butt right yeah it looks like the scientist has the worst stats but he's the only one with access to the med kit and the shield yeah so i wish i hadn't played as a scientist i didn't feel like the weapons were different enough that was one of my biggest complaints about the game was you know they all have different weapons when when you see them on like the screen where you're like changing their stats or upgrading them but i felt like the weapon it what it's not contrast style where it's like this dude has a spread gun it like a shotgun doesn't feel like a shotgun right a shotgun feels like all the other kinds of the game a pellet a pellet shooter type of thing right yeah it shoots a mega man ball yeah right we're gonna have six characters have them all be different like crazy different to where it's like oh man like i want to make a choice as to how this is going to go yeah i like the turtles i want all four turtles to be very different right right yeah because it gives you a reason to play it again as different characters and and see how they like really mesh in like two-player mode i think that's fun too um and a lot of this i might be being i did like this game i thought it was good um i went in with a little bit higher expectations sure because i'd seen this on some hidden gem lists so i think me going in with higher expectations might have colored that but still i played this i liked it and i played it for much longer than than one hour but i came in on it i had just played like alien syndrome uh which is a top-down shooter but arcade shooter but that sega did um and that is like in my opinion like way more fun because it is like you're constantly picking up different weapons it's like contra where it's like oh now i have a spread gun oh now i have a homing missile right it's like you're constantly it's constantly changing yeah that's one of the things i always liked about contra was you have to adapt right pick up the wrong weapon it's like well yeah i gotta figure it out with this one right until i die or until this comes back yeah and you see the one flying that you want uh-huh you jump to jump to your death yeah yeah so just kept what i had because now i'm dead so i like that i like that in shooter i like that like hecticness in that in that um the game the game feels very different depending on what weapon you have absolutely i like that it was equally puzzling as that because you've got to get keys to unlock bridges and open passageways and then you have to get other stuff and then backtrack you have to hit all the the basically the beacons to turn them on because you get the gold top there are four beacons in this level get all four beacons to get to the exit so you've got to walk around and you'll get traps or a sudden bunch of enemies will fucking spawn in and some of that some of that shit i wasn't super crazy about because it it didn't feel good i think with persistence if you keep playing and you kind of get you to memorize it it's more memorizing than just like getting in there and fucking blowing shit up right i agree because i kind of like i i played it i thought about using passwords and stuff but i liked it does have passwords that's nice yeah switch level level and but i liked it enough where it was like yeah i don't i can just play through the first world again it's not a big deal you know so i never i guess the memorization you're right but it never that never really bothered me a whole lot because i felt like it was fun enough where it's like yeah i don't mind i'll probably be able to do it better this time it was one of my biggest gripe because i feel like when it comes to old zuberton no games i have one of two different gripes either the pixels aren't like the character is way too big yeah or there are no boss battles yeah this game could have benefited from some big fun creepy whatever like i would expect in a shooter like this some bosses have some big fucking weird bosses yeah like huge bosses yes huge contrast style boss at the end of levels and so you just you go on the exit and you go on there's nothing there's one boss at the very end the chaos engine at the very very end i was gonna ask even that is like an assemblage of monsters yeah like it's not there's no true and i feel like that sucks this style game like that's what i would expect uh-huh because it's supposed to be like what the story is uh some guy builds this chaos engine that twists animals and time it like the storage time and space yeah so i would expect some fucked up shit yeah i suppose it just walk through the jungle and fighting the same five six types of enemies yeah it's kind of not fucked up enough i agree because like even in like when they're showing you the story in the beginning of the game there's like this like fucked up robotic dinosaur it's like hell yeah let's get into that and then you're like yeah you're in the forest and it's like well i mean there's uh here's a i look off scaring this frog is there's a big dude it was a man yeah it's like oh there's a stone galling throwing big rocks at you that moves slowly it's like a moon and not shot which is like really funny because i don't know if you saw any of the advertising for this game no it's it's like peak it's like peak 90s advertising where it's like outside of that magazine article i've never seen this in the wild seen any ads seen any commercials nothing there's this print ad this two-page uh print ad of like a cyberpunk looking dude with like a respirator in his mouth and like a like a goggle lens over his eye and like the page vein next pretty much yeah soldier or portrait the next page over says a dash of history a splash of testosterone and a touch of hg wells on acid jesus christ that's that's what i was like playing this this game was like hg well it's like the answer to my prayers i i i was just thinking last night that advertise the advertising goes so hard and there's another ad that's like just like a photograph of like burnt toast uh yeah it's it goes hard it's like goes hard edgy 90s like and growl and pull on steroids yeah and it is the game it's so funny because like the game like going back and playing is like this is a quaint ass top down it's like there's like there's nothing weird about alien syndrome which i mentioned earlier has much fucking weirder in like grotesque shit and then then this does um this game does deliver i guess the hg wells on acid part is that this is a steampunk style video game at least the menus are yeah um which i thought was i appreciated how it was laid out and how it looked yeah it did look like the time yeah literally like the time machine it does and the the dials and the earth balanced out rolling meters right i thought it looked very cool it does irk me as uh like from from an informational design standpoint i would get a little frustrated because i'd be like it is taking me longer than it should for me to figure out like what stat is what because it's like things aren't lined up yeah it's kind of like you got to follow this map it's not crazy but it's just enough to be like man you're fucking like this is a menu yeah like it should it should be informative a menu first yeah and then a time machine yeah time machine second what do there's little differently around here we do we do time machine first then function later a skewing more physical you're here for the time machine on acid part yeah i have an email from brad from brad yeah okay oh yeah read it of course hi guys hey brad hi brad a few things of things uh number one i freaking love padooka talk number two yeah i still haven't paid i still haven't done any there's still no work done on the pockets where chongs used to be is it going to be pockets be like i feel i feel like it's either is it the same people are washing or doing the pockets yeah probably uh number two i'm glad things are okay with jack i don't know if this means anything to you all but i'm praying for all of you kiwo komunki also reached out so pretty brad kiwo mok thank you all right and number three this game looks like it's my cup of tea from game pro in january 1994 atomic dog reviews soldiers of fortune comic dog writes i'm sorry atomic dog wow wow yepio yepia writes it's 1887 and the world is desperate to get real the interesting clap the insane in the membrane baron fort tissue has built a reality ripping machine called the chaos engine the the now dinosaur clones where beasts and other horrors stock the earth enter soldiers of fortune to save the day in this fierce run and gun action adventure sci-fi cart uh have guns must travel soldiers of fortune is a thumb burning quarter overhead blast fest that requires strategy as well as straight shooting you blaze a path through the aggressive beasts and goons and goons across 16 bizarre landscapes if you're familiar with the genesis version see game pro november 93 this game plays the same but looks and sounds much better uh let's see next okay beating this tough as nails game requires teamwork either with a friend or computer controlled compadre you shoot you choose from six fighters for hire each mercenary is rated on speed and maximum health and carries his own unique weapons takes two to tangle choose your team wisely because the action is hot and heavy every world is populated with rock golems lizard men and other two-legged monstrosities who arrived who i'm sorry who are armed to the teeth or whatever nice good writing good writing yeah there's an ellipsis armed to the teeth dot dot dot or whatever i don't know what that means okay luckily the controls are nimble you can dodge shots and spin on a dime this game isn't all thumbs and no brains every level is laid out like a mad maze you have to fair it out and activate several towers called nodes to open the exit then you have to find the exit soldiers treat you to cool sights and sounds the character sprites such as the buffed goons and the giant disbod disembodied hands show off great imagination the animation is fast ferociously fast for some of the monsters like the tiny rat things the music star stars okay sorry the music stars among the sounds with fresh pulsating rock tunes i did kind of dig the music i like the music i'm curious is uh this review for the super nintendo or the genesis this one says it's for the super nes okay okay uh and then soldiers of fortune uh lock and load this cart soldiers and fortune is a great looking shooting game with big-time bite if you're into action with ammo missing out on this cart could be most unfortunate hey get it nice brad continues lawn mower man is also reviewed in this issue gross i won't post the full review but does this final verdict look accurate note it got a this talking about lawn mower man uh-huh note it got a 5.0 in graphics oh my god it would have it would have had i'm sorry if it got a 5.0 in graphics it would have had identical score to mega man x okay i can see why it did i can see why a reviewer would be like fuck holy shit these graphics but like it doesn't because it's all that virtual reality 3d kind of like but it's so bad like i mean it's so bad it's really bad so soldiers of fortune got 4.5s across the board so a graphic sound control and um fun factor and then lawn mower man got four four point five four point five four point oh for control and five for fun factor the brief review for lawn mower man says lawn mower man is a visual treat for players who hunger for something different in their side scrolling fashion adventure SNES cards don't let its smooth taste fool you this game has bite oh my fucking god get somebody fucking paid for that that was you that was paid for holy shit everything flops he gave lawn mower man comma the i would say i don't know i didn't play that one so i don't know it's bad i want to say too but i bet it'll say two and a half when we talk about the worst games on the super nintendo i am ashamed that we don't bring up lawn mower man you're right enough you're right because that is such a bad fucking game that would have been that would have been a great movie game to watch you fucking let's do it again i didn't we don't read the stuff very often here but we're down an exception for that fine piece of cinema the lawn mower man and the game the lawn mower man they gave it two stars it's two mini fucking stars that's all that is it one and a half star game at bats well game pro loved it quote unquote loved it of course they love that money well even even when i started gaming former it was just like you could tell any game they got a 10 that was bought and paid for yeah so you wanted to look for the games we got like eight it's like okay that's probably a pretty good game the reason i mentioned the reason i asked if it was a the super nintendo review or the genesis review i played it on both i started on the super nintendo and then i was like i was curious i liked it enough sometimes i like it enough to like want to check it out on other systems and i checked it on the genesis and it's pretty much the same game but there's some trade-offs there's like the sprites are like a little smaller like not a lot smaller but like like reduced in size enough to like make a difference and i liked that better because it felt for whatever reason that felt more like an arcade game to me um the colors this is all matter of personal preference but it's there are more it feels brighter on the super nintendo it's more muted and kind of drab on the genesis but the fucking sound on the genesis i know i've like shit on genesis sound before um it's really it's really good on for soldier fortune it's i feel like it's it's way better than super nintendo right because it's like this is one of those games where i could absolutely believe that like it's it's style lens yeah yeah it's it's kind of got that comics zone style to it you know where it's like people wear round glasses multiple characters have a round like this there's a rat in it you know so one of the guys looks a little like salt bay way before salt bay was okay um guys having achievements i have a few what you got my first achievement is it's not called soldiers of charity and to get it's not called soldiers of charity grab up all the money before your other player has a chance to get at me man i could tell you the ai it doesn't matter what it's west of is that motherfucker good at getting money yeah there are times where his mother she's just standing there i feel like he's waiting for me to kill him and he's like thank you we did good as a team yeah i'll collect my part of this money uh my next achievement is soldiers of misfortune which is kind of a gimme i mean i had to i like it i die on your last life right as you're unlocking the pylon to move on to the next level guess who that happened to oh i unlock that as well good good but i'm not alone and my last achievement is she blinded me with science and to get she blinded me with science uses screen clear as the scientist nice because it flashes like a bright you know yeah one of the molotov cocktail thing was really neat i liked you pick it up and it would just like sort of shoot this bunch of fire in whatever direction you happen to be facing at the time i thought that was neat it was a neat effect and then the dynamite um the dynamite blows in that ring yeah i thought that was really cool those are cool there there's a lot to this game that i feel like is is really good i could not i couldn't give it's niki to play it with me i really wanted to play it to player yeah to like because i imagine it's it's as good as it is playing with the cpu i imagine that it has to be better playing with a human oh yeah that you can like communicate with and and also probably be a little bit more frustrating because like you're sharing the same screen you know so yeah but niki was like i asked her twice and she's like so too much testosterone for her too much too much she wells on ass right she couldn't hang what about you daddy what do you miss do you have um i've got uh frog busi you know the unlock frog busi uh get killed by a giant frog as you are trying to run away from it which happened to me a lot a lot so many times we would both blow up um next achievement is uh fortune cookie in order to unlock fortune cookie um you uh eat a graham cracker uh an okey cookie graham cracker uh with your friend that you just played uh i just i just made this up can you guys stop you guys are out of sleep all right hang on we'll get there you go to the kitchen leave your shorts in here we're going to the kitchen for the graham crackers uh in this house family rule uh we play soldier some fortune parents list uh you stay here i need to go eat a bunch of graham crackers real quick all right first player to lose their erection uh loses right deal and then they have to kiss the uh the winner's wiener monster monster rain look this is a friendly competition that's uh that's all i got do you have any achievements tyler i've got three uh the first one is jacob and leeva you unlock jacob and leeva by the main character collecting nothing and the other player collecting everything because trying to play with jacob and leeva whatever i would give to leeva she would immediately give to jacob so jolly jacob jacob's character was always super stacked and leeva never had anything and jacob wouldn't ask for it leeva would just give him all now you could probably i don't even use wisdom no here take my prop plus six keep something leeva uh the other uh special thanos birthday so like whenever you uh would collect i forget i think it was like the first aid kid it would it sound like it said special birthday so collect that and then immediately die just like that one run where that one kid thanos would show up every year on his birthday and do something fucking horrible to him it is impossible to identify a person out there to understand what the announcer is saying in this game because it's like not only is it compressed it's in this like british accent i mean it's it's it's impossible yeah yeah my last one being all hail the hypnotodes down a screen with four or more to doable very doable well we know what flopsie has to say about the lawnmoor man what do you think flopsie has to say about soldiers a fortune i'd say it's probably pretty nice to it i agree i think it's probably up there we think it's four stars maybe maybe three and a half yeah i'm thinking three and a half because four i mean four and five stars like there's there are games that like i feel should go i've gotten five stars and got like four and a half i can i can go three and a half i can settle for that i do you think it's gonna i don't know man i think this is uncommon because yeah like i said i've only ever seen in that magazine so i kind of i kind of agree what do you think uncommon that's i mean that's that's my gut on it i don't think i don't think it's very i know shit i don't know if it maybe it is very uncommon i had never heard of this game yeah i don't know that i had either but i think it was probably marketed well enough to at least be to at least get to be cross platform it had a but it was ported to a bunch of different yeah and this would have been like in 93 this would have been a big rental favorite you know this is a kind of thing that would have gotten rented a while because it's a good weekend you know friends someone spent saying that i would be over the weekend pick this game up yeah play the grand cracker game yeah oh yeah kissing the grand packer eating uh i'd say uncommon is probably a good one all right so three and a half on common okay according to flopsie aka the ultimate nintendo guide to the s and s library 1991 the 1998 but pat contrary courtesy of monster mold mic and a shadowy mysterious benefactor oh did you guys know there's a smurfs game on the s and s yeah the smurfs traveled the world so we watch all of the episodes of the smurfs everyone every single one of them and read the comics probably it was probably only on for one season probably yeah there's eight episodes in the smurfs but i feel like it was on for years i remember that because i'm i've told you about that one the sous chef that i worked with the uh the vietnamese sous chef who had talked about like smuggling shit you know a crot like yeah coffee and shit like that and he's like myself a diesel fuel so the mosquitoes like all that stuff his favorite fucking comic the smurfs dude remember that it was a huge thing in vietnam they're fucking love the comics of the smurfs well like the ji's are give like comics out right is that i mean i bet that's it i bet that's it remember those fucking remember that when we were at the arcade expo and me and john were stupid drunk and we got the uber home from the waffle house i do the dude's car was like the dashboard was covered in smurf figures like he had love smurfs he had like 50 fucking smurf figures glued to his dashboard it might have been like 10 and i just think it's 50 because i was super fucked it was enough that i remember thinking i hope i don't die in this car right i'll be here bag doesn't go off because we're all getting fucking shotgun smurf shrapnel smurf smurf smells they would call it three young memories and built by smurf no it's with the smurf's would call it the fucking er doctor like when i was fucking four steps to removing smurfs little white feet little blue noses out of my eyeball the driver completely fine i just had a weird smurf you had to bargain with the smurfs they couldn't hurt him i mean hell i've got like fucking 30 my hero academia pops so i'm not going to judge any but they're not guerilla glued to the desk for car to be felt yeah they're in my office you know on a shelf it's like i don't know like was he like he knows that the uber app works right you can't there you can't like do a search smurfs can you know you could choose between a male and female driver and smurf or not smurf dear tadpog i listened to your show every week today you talked about the my car with smurfs we did what you have insulted me you were a nice gentleman but dude the smurfs freak me out a little bit it was weird it was weird and it was all you know as drunk as i was it was all i could do to not fucking comment on it loudly that's okay he was super he really was a nice guy he was good and he wanted to talk you know he was happy to talk about the smurfs and so uh anything you guys see in my car you would like to have a spy with my little eye is something that is uh blue that i'd like to speak of at length he got us home safely he did our hotel he was a very good driver yeah he was great smurfs were weird but yeah he's great thanks for picking up the tab on that uber by the way i don't know if i ever thanked you for yeah yeah no worries that was in no condition to operate my phone all good okay flopsie soldiers of fortune star value three and a half stars got it thank you tyler for talking us down from that four star pillar availability uncommon we did it we did it that's what teamwork gets you fellas yeah the reflections uh are from j.e. timeler josh edwards of course um he says the chaos engine is such a better name than the title given to the north american release uh i agree i think soldiers of fortune is very forgettable yeah it is i think the chaos engine is great name is much better the chaos engine is like something that's very memorable and has like punch you know and sounds like hgwell's on acid if you ask me it really does um this game was essentially the uk contra of its time and alongside alien breed uh was synonymous with the amiga in the 90s that's just a little snippet so question do we think a modern remake remaster of soldiers of fortune would be a worthwhile endeavor they there you can go on steam and buy a remaster for about ten dollars that's a thing it's a thing okay it came out actually i think it might even be a little bit less than that okay um i think it came out in 2013 and i didn't play it but i went to the page and because i was like okay let me check it out um honestly it looks like the amiga version okay but they just converted it to widescreen which is like that's and it has remote play um steam remote play i don't know how well that works but okay yeah cool they did it nice i don't know if i'd want to play any other like version of it you know what i mean like i don't think i'd want to play like a we made it 3d and you know it's like a quake style shooter well that soldiers of fortune what do we think how much do you think you guys would pay for it if you were to buy it it's uncommon uh-huh fairly well received one dollars twenty one dollars yeah thirty five dollars thirty five dollars from tyler actual retail value of soldiers of fortune aka the chaos engine for the super nintendo loose on average according to price charting dot com at the time of this recording is $19.99 oh my gosh i missed it by a dollar and a penny damn um i looked it up for sega genesis too because twenty bucks is like uh i i personally don't want to pay twenty bucks for this uh i was like but if it's like five bucks on the sega genesis then yeah it's twenty dollars and thirteen cents on the sega genesis yeah it got a lot of good reviews yeah in like sega genesis publications well good for it um so i don't know what that says about the game catalog where would you guys put it in the scope of the the list i'd say this in the top 100 like if it just the scope the scope of the 700 of the 700 right right we haven't done that so long um it has been a minute i'd say it's maybe not in the top 100 but just below it like i think the top 200 top 200 for better that's how i feel too top top third yeah um i'm super good with but yeah it's tough because it's like there are games in the i.g.n's top 100 that i feel like could come out oh yeah but i would replace them with games that aren't soldiers of fortune yeah um but yeah it's it's they i can't think of anything in this style that's on that list that i would take out and put in its place right yeah but yeah top 200 even fuck even top 150 i'd be comfortable make an argument for it yeah yeah it is a this is a shit we've shuffled through and for office to be like well it's more solid yeah there are so many bad games for the super nintendo like so most of them yes the majority of the uh Tyler yes Dave had a lot of fun talking about soldiers of fortune uh i have a couple more questions for you if you were to give this game a beard that sums up how you feel about it what kind of beard would you give it i would give it the classy moustache of pride from full no not pride wrath he's pride in regular full metal wrath in full metal alchemist brotherhood income nice uh if you were to get this game a pair of glasses what glasses and why the eye patch uh-huh and full metal this his whole not in his garb but yeah he looks like this game yeah he does he kind of looks like the navvy a little bit yeah yeah totally that's a really good call dude yeah um that reminds me i didn't mention this but i've been back on the anime freer end uh god i'm i'm i've stumbled into freer and tiktok where everybody is praising it for being different and refreshing tyler i i really do think that you would and would enjoy it that's one where it's like i would be through it already but it does such a good job of like being emotional like in a non like it doesn't in a real sneaky way where it's like i'll watch three niki and i'll watch three episodes and it's just like well finish an episode and then just like look at each other and it's like our fucking eyes are all like watery and shit and then i'm like i think i think i'm done watching these for like the day uh it's one of those words it's i don't want to i want to binge it because it's so good take a toll like it does but not in that exhausting in a good way yeah exhausting in a good way it does exhaust me not in like the way the breaking bad would exhaust me where it's like holy shit i can't i literally my brain won't let me watch any more of this because it's super fucking dark um but it's more of like uh i don't know man it's just a fucking it's a roller coaster you know it's ups and downs and ups and downs and like the sentimental stuff is done so well in the way that anime does it um where it's like they fucking kick in with the fucking music and shit and it's like oh god fucking fucking here we go how do you got me wanting to watch i've got to get i let my crunchy roll i canceled it it might be on hulu as well i'm not positive we're watching it on crunchy roll but a lot of the stuff a lot of crunchy roll stuffs on hulu okay i'll check it out there um i i think you would dig it it's i think uh tyler specifically because of like all the fantasy elements like it's it's it's not a it's not a dnd show but i mean it it i think it helps to come from that um but yeah it in my opinion it's good like full metal is good okay hell yeah that's hopper ace yeah it's it's it's super refreshing and i mean gay uh high super super high i recommend it okay yeah uh yeah sorry i didn't mean to derail this children's fortune um is that it hey that's it okay okay so next week hudton hawk hudton hawk okay yeah because i think i forgot one on the movie list i forgot lord of the rings oh yeah right although it is based not based on the movie it's based on the the cartoon movies oh my knowledge hmm so that's okay i think we're done i think we have super godzilla and lord of the rings and toy story or the three left of the movies we're going to dive into which is we're saving for christmas for that time right hudson hawk i want to do hudson hawk because i want you guys to watch hudson hawk okay and tell me i got to hear what i got to hear your feet let's do hudson hawk unless i actually did bring that up the other day because she was wondering if there was an mst 3k of hudson hawk you have been there there i not to my knowledge i don't think there is because we just said i couldn't find him yeah yeah we just finished devil fish yeah devil fish i've seen devil fish so many fucking times and it's like i like it but it's devil fish is one of those where it's like on youtube or whatever when they do the live and what they do is they just it's like they just play them you know it feels like devil fish is always on devil fish is so fucking bad oh yeah oh my god it's a good episode mst 3k but that worst i mean the best mst episodes are the worst movies man i don't know because it's like i don't know because there are so many fucking bad movies on mst 3k that are inter they're bad but they're entertaining they're entertainingly bad like i feel like manos is entertainingly bad oh yeah devil fish is one of those where it's like oh my god this is just bad devil fish just bad i think hudson hawk will fall into the entertainingly bad category for you both good because melissa trying to tell other nurses trying to explain mst 3k to a group of gen z or boomer nurses oh yeah they were just all very confused yeah yeah it's kind of like the only like the way i would describe it to like a gen z would be okay you know all those react videos on youtube it's like that but instead of but super long form with jokes you've heard of a movie right that's why i fucking love that that netflix special um the guy who plays john ralphio um sonic then ben ben yeah ben ben Schwartz spin Schwartzman and uh the guy who plays uh the lead in silicon valley oh okay they have and i've talked about it was a years ago but they have a netflix special or they do long long form improv it's like a whole hour i'm talking about this one or two skits i never checked it out i should have but damn it's so good oh fuck but i do remember you mentioning that no of man so good but you okay hudson hawk next week oh that's an hawk well thanks scream scream thanks let's see everybody find the show on itunes not soundcloud not stitcher but spotify youtube all over the god damn place tons of shit going on most importantly is that patreon hell yeah yeah help Ian fill his pressure washer with santa apple haunted apple haunted apple but beel juice beel juice soda um and you know speaking of john ralphio saperstein and his sister mama lisa saperstein what it is patreon.com/tagpog get you there get you where you can give us that money hell yeah we want it and we want it now so we're gonna give us that money it's all our uh we've got for a dollar just a dollar because you access to all our bonus content our full dark tower book club is up and that last episode is really good it's a great fun we had a great time really good that one um all the other stuff is up there we do have executive producers i have verified that this is an accurate list of executive producers uh that give us 20 dollars or more per month uh and i will read that list now like i do every single fucking week cubicle monkey game bug prime nathan eaten pinball airplane archmage chris edler sorry you couldn't be on this episode direct pope sandwich confusing staff miners thank thank you thank you for your marriage congratulations on your marriage drink smith joey wester thank you you're saving some pussy for the rest of us you get it off the mark blocking it down san jose pothill hocken the lovable correspondent for this special banana hammock flavor trick tarendall and canadian turbo node thomas uh special thanks to go out this week uh to again there of so-so has uh upped his donation so thank you for that he wrote a nice little message on patreon i'm going to read that right now uh he says heard the eponymous speculation i literally live in so-so mrs sippy how fucking lucky am i right dave if you ever had the misfortune of rolling through town again i'm extending the offer to disappoint you as both a host and a lover i'll bring the graham crackers uh a uh thanks to paul clark from across the ocean is up to his donation thank you very much thank you for getting donations in pounds as opposed to dollars oh yeah we love being pound pounds or and pounds are around us patreon.com slash that pound us up pound us hard uh damey and r thank you for becoming a patreon donor this month uh we love that all the big host masters and all the begging is working guys i think it's working and then as always thanks to brad for his email yeah it helps get us through sometimes what can be a slog of a game and um gives us some insight into the past of how people saw these things back i love yeah i love that he sends those very cool i would like to make a motion uh to and it's a big deal to change jeff's title oh because when we had jeff on the show and we talked about star fox assault right it was star fox assault um he has a brother comes in his wife steve man i think he should be comes in his wife jeff okay i mean i'm just doing that out there most you carry all right new title mister and i wish we had a gavel or something changing my list my list right now that's it was it was comes in his wife steve wasn't it i don't know but it comes in his wife's family over there that comes in his wife or stints good people they always bring they always bring good stuff to the potluck it's my favorite youtube video essay the best cream pies the best cream pies every every year neighborhood potluck i mean i always love to go to that potluck the cream pie potluck me too that it that it just waiting on you buddy whenever you're ready oh our theme song gets moved by a synchronous drive with that trait from the show today about dark i was also thinking about like how could i include like lots of hot apple upside down cake don't you think about that we all just sort of zoned out for yeah please don't chugging silence i want to listen to hear the fucking eight seconds of us all just sitting inside chugging chugging chugging chugging i will isolate that as best i have how many chugga chugga chugga's come before chu chu chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chu chu chu and i wasn't counting them so you say six Don't know One guess a bliss that I had that discussion like I thought it was four. She thought it was eight David Day in six They're all even always that's true. There's not no chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga They're all even always that's true. There's not not chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chug Colin, Dave Moore, and Ian Chandler. New episodes publish Wednesdays each week and are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, anywhere else podcasts are hosted. Have a question or comment for the hosts? Call us at 270-883-25555 and leave us a voicemail. If we like it, we'll play it on the show and respond. Want to send us something? You can do that at Tadpock Studios, care of Nicole Nance, PO Box 3785, Paducah, Kentucky 42002. If you absolutely must send us a food item, please use caution and good judgment when doing so. Tasty snacks that look or smell funky or are past their expiration date by the time we get to them, we'll be thrown away. Bonus content is available at patreon.com/tagpog with a minimum donation of $1 per month. You can join in on the conversation by visiting our discord at bit.ly/tagpogdiscord. Registration is free and we'd love to see there. Thanks for listening and if you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. Now, where did I put that stinger? Oh, here it is. So last week, as you may know, you know, a really bad hurricane blew through Florida and milked Hurricane Milton and it followed the hurricane from two weeks ago. - Like in? - Helene, yes. So, you know, this time they were ready with live action cameras on YouTube and I watched some of this as the storm was apparently, you know, on its way to Florida. There was all these cameras from all the different places where they thought the storm might hit first or whatever, you know? And so for some reason I was watching these cameras at work and I made a list this week and my list is, I made the mistake of leaving the chat open on this video feed of this hurricane footage, getting ready to happen and all the wonderful things that people said in the chat in YouTube during this event. So I'd like to read this list of comments. - Okay, that are 100% not yours, right? - I did not comment anywhere in this. - I mean, but get the hurricane machine, but I mean, whatever. - Whatever. - It's the space lasers, y'all, come on. This was taken into, these were quotes from Wednesday, October 9th, 2024. Now, I like making fun of Floridians just as much as the next person. Sometimes people can just be, shit, just suck. People suck. - Oh, God. - Okay, so I'm gonna read these now. I can't wait to see those clowns get blown away by the storm. There's an old saying, you get what you deserve. - What does that even mean? - I don't know. I don't know. These are not funny. This is bad, this is just really fired me up. I was mad. So if they pray hard enough, maybe God will stop killing them. Can you move the camera down? Cars and intersections don't really show us anything. These are fixed weather cameras. That one was kind of funny. - Inhales. - Inhales. - Inhales. - Show me the corpses. Siri, Siri, show me the corpses. Wait, there's a fucking cars. I just like to think about someone getting on a rate. - You're like mad, but totally. - For the scenes, corpses naked. - This list continues. Thoughts and prayers, everyone. That will save them. Speak English, please. We use English as our primary language here. And that was in response to someone commenting in German. But to be fair, the German comment was, (speaking in foreign language) And what that means is, the people in Key West don't have all their cups in the cupboard, which is basically them saying the people in Key West are crazy. Like saying they're like, you know, one muffin short of a picnic. - Gotcha. - You know, so. - The German person wasn't being nice here, but he was speaking a foreign language, y'all. Now, come on. - Yeah. - We still-- - We don't-- - Internet's American. Goddamn it. - It's our internet. - Al Gore. - Next comment, is Disney still open? Next comment, we sell roofs, so we're waiting for the hurricane to stop so we can go down there and make a shitload of money. - Oh my God. Jesus. - This is why they're called Floridiots. - Good Lord. - What the fuck? - Next comment, vote Trump 2024. Next comment, this storm is punishment by Almighty God for what they have done to the earth. - As what, Pat Roberts said about the earthquakes in '80s. - Yeah, okay. - Next comment, a Sharknado has touched down in Florida. Next comment, good morning, everyone. I could use some coffee, LOL. - Okay, that one is funny. - That is funny. That was funny. Some of these are right. - Wolf, not before my coffee. - Don't even have a hurricane before. - Next comment was, is there still bumper to bumper traffic on the bridges? Now, that's a valid question, except that every one of these cameras was pointed at a bridge that was empty. - The court sky was probably like-- - There was no cars. There's literally, you literally look at the screen and have the answer to your question. The next comment is tampon won't flood, very absorbent. - Could you read that one again? - Tampon won't flood, won't very absorbent. - I almost-- - Tampon was-- - Right. - Blue, blue, liquid, yeah. - Yeah, that's true. - I almost thought it was like tampon won't, you know? Like me want food, but like tampon won't flood. - Tampon won't flood. - Tampon do want flood, out of it. - Tampon need to job. - Here we go, great mind. Next comment, I need me some Burger King. (laughing) - Fair enough. - Okay, good for you. Next comment, all the cars you see on the road are headed to their jobs at Waffle House. And finally, my favorite comment, win half-life three though. (laughing) That would actually made me laugh. (laughing) So there you go, that's why I did make in so many lists, so I felt empty inside, not having a list for this week, so there you go. - Man, poof! - Great, some nice people on the internet, as always. - Oh yeah, yeah. - So, they probably all listen to this show.