[INTRO MUSIC PLAYING] Welcome to Drinking Bros, presented by GoSpent.com. Sit back, relax, and grab a fucking drink. Drink. Yeah. Welcome to Drinking Bros, kids. See, we're on Patreon, right? [LAUGHS] We're going to have to lead with this, because you fucking, right before this goddamn thing got turned on today. You made me laugh. You made me laugh my ass off. It happens sometimes. [LAUGHS] Talk to us like, hey, we're going live. I was like, all right, cool, man. This is the great debate maybe of our lifetime. Like a lot of people thought it was gender, or immigration, or abortion, or guns, but it turns out the real debate is over what age you should stop fondling your mom's titties. [LAUGHS] I guess, is that what we're talking about? You did the discussion, yeah. That's why I asked you, and you said right before we went on. There you go. I don't know, 40. [LAUGHS] Look, when in Rome, all right? So the video we're about to show you is Major League Baseball Closer, a role as Chapman. World Series Champion. Yes, yes, yes, yes he is. Not that that means anything. No, no. Speaking of World Series champions, Daryl Strawberry's having some health issues, so-- Hit a heart attack. Hopefully he's doing better. I mean, that heart has been through it. Sure, yeah. And by it, you mean about 100 pounds of cocaine? Yeah, so thoughts and prayers to Mr. Strawberry, who is a hero of mine growing up? Same. I loved-- even though I was a Braves fan, I loved the Braves sucked in the '80s. So ended up watching the Mets in the playoffs a lot. And I loved all their players. Doc Good was awesome. Strawberry was awesome. Mookie Wilson. Fucking Wally Backman, who-- Keith Hernandez. Keith Hernandez, Mookie. Fucking Doc Good. Yeah. You know, great players. Doc was another one. I believe-- Doc Good and I think had the best rookie season for a pitcher ever. Yeah, I believe-- Just lights out. What's up? Wouldn't Dyke Strong on that team as well? He wasn't 86, yeah. I mean, it was like that's one of the funnest teams of all time. Of all the teams that have done drugs, that team may have done the most. Number one. You would think, right? Number one. Can you think of a team other than maybe-- University of Miami? Yeah. University of Miami when-- In the '90s, yeah. Yeah. Well, no, in the '80s. Yeah, ladies. When Michael Irwin was there, I think probably would have been-- let's say 1A, 1B on those two. For sure. Anyways, that's what we're talking about here. We're talking about grabbing your mom's titties. And when you should stop doing that-- Oh, boy, Bob. Play the video here, because this is-- it's a tough watch. It's a tough watch. Go ahead. Should be noted, this is from a Raldis Chapman's Instagram story. It sure is. So he posted this. It's not like this was leaked or anything else. He actually posted this on his Instagram. OK, go ahead and play that, Bob. Oh, boy. She's just patting them on the back. They're laying on the couch. Just both of them. And he grabs both titties and then starts rubbing her tummy as if she's pregnant. She's clearly in her 70s there. Oh, boy, boy. Number one in the world, this is trending right now. Look, I think age five is probably when you stop doing that, I would imagine. It's kind of the role in our household. Um, yeah, I mean, how do you deal with that? Do you send out a press release to all the six-year-olds? Or what? I mean, because if I've been doing it for that long, how do I know to stop, I guess, is the question. I don't know. And is this part of-- what is he, Dominican? It's Cuban. Is this part of Cuban culture? Not sure. Not sure if it's big down there. There's different Cubans, right? There's the slave trade Cubans, right? From the sugar trade back in the day. And then there's like the more La Tinks Cubans, right? Right, right. So I don't know any black Cubans, to be honest. No. So I'm curious if that's like part-- if this is some weird part of their culture, like Tom Brady kissing his kids on the mouth or some shit, I don't know what this is. But it's not great. You know, I've never seen Jorge Soleil grab any titties that belong to him. Sure, yeah, that's true. Also a camera. Also a black Cuban. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if this is cultural, it's not a part of our culture. And I would-- well, it's too late to delete now. I was going to say delete it. I don't think he's going to delete it. No, I don't think so either. I mean, to be fair-- He seems really fucking happy in this video, by the way. It's not like they're not having a good time. Both are smiling and relaxing and unwinding there. But this is something you would do with your wife or a four that you just brought home from the bar the next day. You're just so hungover, you can't leave the house just yet, where you're just like, all right, cool. I'm just going to sit here on the couch and grab some titties for a little bit. Maybe drink some liquid IV and get the fuck out of here. Not sure what inspired this today, but maybe that's why they want to ban TikTok. I think he was just feeling, you know, not edible, maybe in a way. He was just happy that his mom was such a good mom. Or-- and hear me out. Yeah. Maybe he's worried about breast cancer. Yeah. And he was just checking. He was just doing a couple checks. How do you know? We haven't asked him yet. No. And I wouldn't know how to because that'll speak Spanish. Yeah, you don't speak Spanish. I think he does, I think, have a problem with knowing appropriate touches for women. Oh, that's right. What was he the guy? Was it domestic bantering? Was he one of those guys? It was a DV guy? OK. Well, look, man, that carries over into all facets of life. I was unaware that it carried over to your mom. So this one is-- it's not fun to watch this total off the show. I can tell you that. And again, this might be why they're banning TikTok. So top story here, Jesus Christ, man. Congress is voted to pass this. What are the numbers on this? 352 to 65. God damn. That's not even close. Yeah, I tweeted this yesterday. But when Democrats and Republicans work together, Americans lose. Yeah. There is no legitimate reason for the government to be getting involved in this. Completely not. So the legislation is called Protecting Americans from Foreign Adversary Controlled Applications App. OK, what the fuck is that? That's the name of the fucking bill. Great. Yeah. Great. So with that, what happens next? It's obviously going to go to Senate. Let's say Senate passes this. Yeah. Could Biden strike this down? Yeah, he could veto. Well, no, I mean, it had a super majority in the House. So we'll see. It definitely could break a veto in the House. We'll see how it does in the Senate. But I assume it'll pass the Senate with flying colors as well. And they can say all this bullshit about foreign adversaries and blah, blah, blah. I mean, it gives the president unprecedented powers to like fucking kill apps and stuff. Not just apps, but websites as well, right? In this bill? Yeah. Oh shit. And this is voted up quite a-- it's overwhelmingly bipartisan, although the Republicans seem to support it more than the Democrats do in the House. $197 and $15 for Republicans and $155 and $50 for Democrats with one abstention. And 14 people just didn't show up. Yeah, they were busy. Busy too. Now the sponsor of the bill, Mike Gallagher, who's a Republican from Wisconsin, during his testimony about it, he's the main guy on this. He said one of the real reasons they want to ban TikTok is, quote, "It's becoming the dominant news platform for Americans under 30." And the government doesn't like it when they can't control the news, obviously. I'm sure they'll try to ban RT News website next here. But this is how there are no-- it's Republican doesn't mean conservative anymore. Get that through your fucking head. Like they're not trying to do anything to limit the size of government. All they do, conservatives, so-called conservatives over the past 25 years, have presided over the largest expansion of the federal government and history. The national debt has gone up on their watch. Something like 15x, I think, something like that. If you take Bush and Trump together just in the last two Republican presidencies. The national security state and now fucking this bullshit. I mean, it's like, if you think Republicans are on your side, you're out of your goddamn mind. Yeah, and as far as TikTok is concerned here, they obviously met with Senate. They had this hearing. You and I covered it and watched it. It wasn't great. I mean, they didn't have any fucking answers and any plan to say, hey, no, we're not giving all your data to the Chinese governments. That didn't help them, obviously, here. But this bill is a whole. So is this just apps outside of America, then? Or is that including-- It says apps that are controlled by foreign adversaries. But I don't know the specific details of the bill, to be honest. Hold on, let me see if chat GBT can help. Well, as you hear about chat GBT, they're no longer answering questions about the election, which is fun. Not about the election, but they will about bills. Hang on a sec. Summarize. And I'll read the quote from TikTok here. "The process was secrets, and the bill was jammed through for one reason. It's a ban. We are hopeful that Senate will consider the facts, listen to their constituents, and realize the impact on the economy. Seven million small businesses and 170 million Americans who use our service. President Joe Biden, who created an official TikTok account in February, as part of his election campaign, has previously said that he would sign the bill if it is passed. So there's your answer there. He would sign it if Senate ends up passing this fucking thing. This is our chat chat GBT is woke as hell, but it says-- Is it really? Yeah. It says that the act is US legislation aimed at safeguarding national security against threats posed by applications controlled by foreign adversaries, such as TikTok and other services developed or offered by Biden's or entities under its control. How often in American history has there been legislation against one particular company? Well-- I mean, that seems-- and I can tell you however many times it was, it never ended up being limited to just that company. How many apps are foreign that we actually use besides TikTok? Spotify is. That's a great one, OK? So what would stop them from banning Spotify? Probably nothing, I guess. If-- what are they, Swedish? Yeah. If there's some Sweden. Well, there's another bill being brought to Congress soon. I think it was Rashida Tlaib talking about it, if I'm not mistaken. But they're going to try to regulate how much Spotify pays for streaming. Really? Yeah, OK. Because they're upset that you have to stream too many times to get money on there. It's like, OK, we'll fucking build a different platform that does better. Yeah. Is that going to be our solution, everything forever? It's just like, oh, the government will come fix it because they've done such a great job so far. What are we going to say, Bob? I'm having trouble finding an answer, but I know kind of the famous one would be like standard oil, right, in terms of legislation going against a company. I don't know anything about that. That's like the big monopoly, the legislation in the-- Was that legislation or was it an antitrust suit? Maybe that's what it was. Because if any of antitrust means in the late '90s, Microsoft was getting hit with a million dollar a day fine. And Bill Gates, no shit, said to the Washington Post. He's like, all right, well, we can withstand that for about 2,000 years. So good luck. Yeah. The other one was recently was Penguin and Simon and Schuster. And they split that up. So they said, no, you guys can't merge like that. The two biggest publishers in the world, and you can't do it. Well, so two days ago, forgive me, it was Kroger and I believe Albertsons. And they're blocking that as well. Grocery store was. What I was going to say, they were in-- standard oil was in violation of the Sherman Antitrust Act. They were found in violation of that in 1909. The Sherman Antitrust Act was written in 1890. So I don't know. I'd have to look more into it. This would be a whole thing. But that might have been written because of them, and then they used it to fuck them. But I don't know. OK. Let me ask you this. They're giving them an option to divest. They're shares to some American company there. Does that just mean, hey, you can sell the company to an American-owned company, and then TikTok and continue in the United States? Yes. So there's some conversation going on right now about rumble, possibly purchasing TikTok. But I don't know how real that is. I don't think rumble's got the money for that. Who knows, right? I don't know what kind of money they have. But Elon didn't have the money to buy Twitter either. He just went and got it. So I think that would probably be a possibility if they were so inclined. I don't know if they are not, to be honest. I don't know what's going to happen there. So looking it up, by the way, right now, they're estimating that TikTok, if it was bought by a US business, could get an evaluation north of $60 billion. What did Elon pay for Twitter, $43 billion for that? So that seems about right. I mean, TikTok-- 40, 44, yeah. Yeah. TikTok's got more users, everything else. I know one of the biggest gripes, as far as Congress, is concerned, is the algorithm. And Elon Musk post about it. So it actually started Mark Cuban today, too. Mark Cuban said, look, TikTok has not allowed people to view their algorithm and how they're coming up with this algorithm. And he said, Twitter did. And I know he obviously hates Elon Musk. So for him to say that, he's got a gripe against them. I'm kind of shocked that it would only be $60 billion. So Twitter, average daily users in January 2024, 237 million average daily users, daily active users. OK. TikTok, $1.5 billion. Yeah. So it dwarfs Twitter. But it might be just the United States. And is it also generating revenue? Like most of the people-- I know a lot of people who work in client-side advertising, and they hate TikTok. They say that universally speaking-- and it's the same complaint that you get about Twitter. The ad platform sucks, both putting the ad on and tracking the efficacy of it. So most of the TikTok people who are making money, it's private deals. Like our friends that have big TikTok accounts, it's people will reach out to them, and they'll do sponsored stuff on TikTok. But it's not through TikTok. So TikTok's not making any money on it. Correct. Yeah. Man, that would take out a lot of those people. Is that a bad thing if we lose all the TikTok influencers? We can't see Jackson Mahomes dancing anymore. Is that the worst thing? Probably not. Probably not. But this is definitely interesting. So yeah, they're saying sell or ban here. And now it'll go to Senate. Users are revolting. You can't do this to us. You can't do it. Well, they're right. The government doesn't have a right to tell you what you can and can't look at, what you can and can and can't engage with. You know what I mean? OK, fine. If we're going to make a rule that a foreign adversary can't invest in or control or whatever the fuck, you need to follow this up with banning China owning any piece of any company in the United States, right? Or doing business with them. Cut them off as a trade partner and see how that goes. Yeah. Right? I agree. Like seriously, fucking ban all social media. Apple and Meta and even Twitter are doing more business with China than any fucking company that you're aware of. Oh, easily. So what the fuck are we even talking about? Easily. Like this is just-- I don't know why they're going after TikTok specifically. I mean, I do actually. I think it's the guy said that it's becoming the main news platform for people under 30. And they know they can't control it, so that's why. Or do you think they're genuinely worried about China possibly controlling the algorithm for our news? Come on, man. Do you think-- is there anybody in Congress who gives a fuck about America? Dan Crenshaw does. Yeah, he cares about it as much as he wants to fucking make money off of it. He cares. Speaking of apps and social media here, this just came in. This is broke right now. Don Lemon said his show, which hasn't even aired yet on Twitter, has been canceled by Elon Musk. And apparently, the first episode that was supposed to air was an interview with Elon Musk. So here's his statement on it. First of all, I always forget that Don Lemon's alive, and so something like this pops up. And then I'm like, oh shit, I remember that guy. Although it hasn't been that long for him. Elon Musk has canceled the partnership I had with X, which they announced as part of their public commitment to amplifying more diverse voices on their platform. And for me, of his decision hours after an interview, I conducted with him on Friday. That interview will remain the premiere episode of the Don Lemon Show on Monday, March 18. Elon publicly encouraged me to join X with a new show, saying I would have his full support. And that his digital town square is for all. He and his team pursued the deal in numerous conversations and made significant commitments about support. X would provide for the show. I made the decision to work with them based on the unique partnership I believed would ultimately assure that my work would be available to most people in the largest possible venue. I took him at their word, blah, blah, blah. There was no restrictions on the interview. And my questions were respectful and wide ranging. We had a good conversation. Clearly, he felt difference here. So now this conversation is going to be available on YouTube and everywhere else. What do you make of this here? - He's saying it's because he's a gay black. Or at least he implied that it's because he's a gay black. - Okay. - Right. - I think that Elon is an actual African American. - Yeah. - Right? - Yeah, real one. - And that upsets people. That's what I think. Don Lemon has always been a giant piece of fucking shit. And his fucking Gaylord partner, Chris Cuomo, is now on Patrick Bette-David's value tainment channel. Did you see that? - No. - He signed a deal with him. He left news nation. And now he's going over to drive Republican conservative Patrick Bette-David. - Shut the fuck up, is that real? - Oh yeah. - So we did Tucker what, three days ago? And now he's a conservative, huh? - No, no. - Okay, good. - He's still a piece of shit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's a giant piece of shit that's trying, like a lot of people who were completely wrong about everything and served as propagandists for this fucking authoritarian government we have in place right now. This piece of shit is trying to rehab his image. And to be honest, Tucker helped him. By joking and laughing about all the evil shit he did. And I have no idea why Tucker's been doing some of the shit he's been doing, frankly. It's wild to me. I think all these people are in love with the sound of their own voice. And they want the clicks no matter what, right? I don't know if you've noticed, and it's from the top all the way down to the bottom. The people you know that used to make funny content and shit like that, all they're doing now is resharing fucking fight videos. That's it, that's all I do now. Just to get clicked, just to fucking click farm now. It's like the most pathetic shit of all time. And then they'll fuck every political season people will bring up dumb shit about black rifle or Evan. Evan gave money to Tulsi Gabbard. Who the fucking right loves now, apparently. I don't, but we'll figure that out next week, won't we? - Yeah. - So it's the same low frequency gay ass bullshit every fucking year that happens. Like who the fuck out there is actually putting out, like the people that we used to watch that made good content 10 years ago. Who, especially people that are involved anyway in politics at all. Who's still actually doing good shit now? I don't know anybody. It's all click farm nonsense. - Well what happened was is the death of cable news. And so this is happening across the board by the way. They're slashing all these salaries for all their hosts on cable news 'cause the ratings no longer meet those numbers anymore. I think Hannity's getting, you know, 15, 18 million for a show that's bringing in, you know, roughly four million a night. And that's a big boy paycheck. All those guys from CNN were getting that and they were bringing in less than a million viewers on that. And I think what happened over the course of the last 10 years and we'll start with Megan Kelly, for example. Once she left and Katie Couric was another one who left and then they tried to start their own thing. Even those guys from Good Morning America, Amy Robach and who's the black dude that she's with? They were cheating together and now they have their own podcast and, you know, it started off pretty high and then it tanked. They're trying to figure out what the next career move is for them. But the problem is, like you said in the last 10 years, you have 10 years worth of their content where they were specifically talking about one thing and their focus was on one thing. And this rebrand bullshit that everybody's trying to do seems phony and fake and nobody buys it or believes it and they don't really give a shit anymore. Where guys like us, look, I've been a fucking dirtbag for 25 years. So we can go back to, you can go back to fucking fourth grade for Christ's sake, I'm the same goddamn person. Whereas everybody else is trying to make this switch to appease the masses. And whenever you try to appease the masses and go after everybody, try to capture all the audiences be as broad and big as you possibly can, it doesn't work. Once you leave your demographics and your audience, and I always say this all the time, know your fucking audience, it's tough, man. Nobody believes your bullshit anymore. And so I think that's what's happening with all these people. And even with Tucker in a certain regard, I know he's getting a gajillion views on Twitter. But there's still a cache of being on TV every single night. You see it when you do fucking Jesse Waters and all that other stuff. You get a million text messages immediately as soon as the segment's over. Whereas it's just like, holy shit, man, it was still on TV. There's still a cache A to that. And the guys who have moved off that are trying to figure it the fuck out now. And I don't know what Patrick Bette David paid him to do that. But I bet it was a goddamn lot of money. - Yeah, I'm sure he just looked over at the Daily Wire and saw how they're collecting grifters. You gotta be fucking really suspicious of this road to Damascus story. I've heard it too many times, man. For context, Saul is a Pharisee, right? He's an asshole. He's hunting Christians down in the first century. He's on the way to Damascus to fuck up a few more and gets blinded by a light. And then a donkey tells him, knock it off, quit it. Better quit it. And then he changes his name to Paul and he writes the Pauline books and the New Testament, 14 of them maybe, right? We don't know about some of them. But he wrote a good portion, a sizable portion of the New Testament in the form of letters to different churches around. When I say the road to Damascus story, I mean people like Candace Owens, right? Who was a total progressive until it became politically expedient to not be, right? And you see it in the influencer world, but you also see it in the political world. Like I think Tulsi Gabbard is one of those people. I don't trust anything she fucking says. And Hillary Clinton was like that too. If you remember in the like, people will always say this, Hillary was the single most qualified candidate for blah, blah, blah in history. It's like, all right, cool. Let's look at what the democratic positions were on certain subjects in 2016. This is just a good example. I don't want to go back in history too much, but this is just a good example. - You don't want to go back to slavery? - Well, I'd like to. Just let me- - No, I mean, who started slavery? - Let me choose. - Not actually owning slaves. - Oh, well, no, then I don't care about the history. No, so think about the things that mattered in 2016 to people before all the bullshit about Trump, right? 'Cause that was all noise. The Russia, whatever the fight, that was all noise. The stuff, like if you, let's say Trump had not been in the 2016 election, what would it have been about, right? Marriage equality, protecting gay people rights. - Health insurance. - The Me Too stuff had just started, right then. The Iraq war and the Afghan war was deeply unpopular. People were tired of that shit and wanted out of it. And banking stuff like TARP, that bullshit. And then the fifth one was the national security state. Hillary Clinton was wrong on all, she was anti-marriage equality until 2013. Then she got forced into the position because Biden leaked it basically in a live event with Obama. And then everybody had to fall in line because that was the new thing. She was wrong on that. She spent the 90s attacking the women who were husband rate, right? So not exactly good on the Me Too issue. I voted for all the Iraq shit, voted for all the national security state shit, all of it, right? She was wrong on every major liberal leftist democratic issue that happened, right? Wrong up until the point. She's like, oh, well people want me to fucking think this now. So that's what I'm going to think. Because I want, it's not about principles. And I think my principles align with my constituency. So I'm going to represent them. It's like, no, I want to be in power. So I'm going to say whatever the fuck I have to be to be in power. So somebody who turns on a fucking dime like that, whose entire core principle or set of core principles can shift rapidly and then somehow it makes them more successful or persist their success, you should be deeply suspicious of a person like that. Because they're clearly just chasing the cloud. - Clearly Travis. - Yeah. - Oh, is he a pro, progressive? - He was a, he was a dead spin. - He was, they had a dead spin at one point. - He was. - The dead spin was quite a bit different. - I don't know. - Yeah, he was on dead spin when dead spin was still kind of broy. - Hey, by the way, I'm blocked by Clay Travis. - Yeah, he was like, he was on Twitter. - He talks about how he used to be a Democrat or whatever and then switched to be. But I mean, I think he just thinks that that makes him cool and edgy. Like, I don't think he even believes anything. - You know what I think, Bob? I think it was, he looked at the money of it, of how much money was there. Because Republicans actually buy shit and this is no secret. But in Hollywood, everybody knows and he's at agencies and all this other shit. I think he looked at the numbers and said financially, this would be the most lucrative for me, for Clay Travis. I don't even know how he got that fucking gig to be honest with you. - It's his own website, he made it. - No, he took over, so when Rush Limbaugh died, he took over that slot all across the nation on radio stations and all that other shit. And Fox News backed up the truck for that deal for him. And he switched everything. You're right, I think Clay Travis is a piece of shit. But whatever, I'm not a big outkit guy and I'm not a Clay Travis fan either. - I don't really know anything about him, to be honest. The only thing I really know about him is when he sets up about titties on the fucking on CNN one time. - Yep, yeah. - That's the only thing and I was like, eh. - Yeah, he's like-- - That's kind of funny, I guess. - He talks about sex like a virgin. - Yeah, and you know what I mean, he talks about sex like he's never had. - It's just not cool enough for me, whereas take a Dave Portnoy, for example, who's kind of out there in that world. I actually enjoy that type of hubris and shit like that, where you're like, all right, he's probably, look, we saw a picture of him. - Portnoy hates Clay Travis. - I know, I know, so do I. But there's a picture of Portnoy, dog walking his girlfriend in the bedroom, so you're like, all right, you know that guy actually probably lives that life. - Clay Travis goes home and I don't know what life that is. - Right, and he's like hypermasculine, even though he looks like a fucking bag of milk. - Mm-hmm, but at least it's on brand, whereas for Clay Travis, I'm like, I don't know what that is, I don't know what happens for him when he goes. - That's what I'm saying, Clay Travis literally tries to be an alpha male, and he-- - Right, right, right. - Like a swift breeze would knock him over. - I just don't buy the bit out of him, and it is definitely a bit. Like Dan said, switching over from Democrats or Republican, it's like, all right. - But it goes both ways too, because I see a lot of people who were kind of like, Drew McGarry used to be dead spinouts, whatever, defector and a bunch of other stuff, but he used to be just like a normal, funny guy, he was a great writer. - Yeah, he was with my-- we share the same agent. - Yeah, Bird. - Uh-huh. - Yeah, and he just went full woke. And the only reason is I think because his friends that he thought, he thought it made him cooler and a better person. Like, I don't think he actually is married to it. I think he just like feel-- like I think he just leaned into it. - I think he's lost in the sauce now. - Yeah, you know, one could say the agent went woke too. - So-- - I heard that, yeah. - The agent? - Mm-hmm. - What happened with that? - Well, look, you become head of a big Hollywood agency, and they have a certain set of principles over there. That's liberal, and that's it. And everybody has to get in line and change, or they bury you in the back of the department. I remember taking one meeting where I looked at one of the client rosters, and who was the old Bill O'Reilly? That's it from Fox, who got fired. Was on-- was listed as one of the clients, and I was like, "Oh, shit. Why didn't you lead with that?" He's selling some of the most books on the goddamn planet. Every book that Bill O'Reilly puts out not only becomes a massive best seller, but then it gets turned into some fucking series that always crushes. Bob, he does a bunch of those history shows. Yeah, it's like killing the killing series. - Correct, yeah. - Killing Kennedy, killing Lincoln. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's made a killing pun intended there. - It's also the Commodore's lust from the Patriots after Dark. - Right. - Special. - Yeah. - I'm sorry, what? - The 30 Rock Joke. - Yeah, 30 Rock Joke. - Oh, you got me with one. What's this? - The Commodore's lust. It's Bill O'Reilly's erotic novels or whatever that Alec Baldwin reads. - Yeah, and I kind of want to read that. - The Patriots after Dark series? I would read that whole day. But with that, I was like, "Why not lead with that client? That's the most successful one you guys have." And they were like, "Oh, we're not really allowed to talk about Bill O'Reilly." And I was like, "Jesus Christ, man, really?" I mean, it was shocking. And I was like, "Yeah, yeah, that agent's way in the back of the office." And they said, "No one even talks to the agent." And I was like, "Well, he's bringing in the most commissions. Like, he can't fire him either." - Why doesn't he start his own agency? - I think he has. And look, a lot of those guys who was Malcolm Gladwell was on the show. And my guess, and we didn't ask him, but I'm guessing Malcolm Gladwell leans left. Even he left that whatever he was doing and said, "Fuck it, I'm just starting my own." - I wouldn't need anybody. - I wouldn't need anybody. - I'm sure about that. - Malcolm Gladwell? - Yeah. - No idea. No idea. But either way, he started his own shit and everybody else could too, especially now that Amazon is allowing hardbacks. So, I mean, they're doing hardbacks, paperbacks, Kindle, ebook, and they own audio books now. They own Audible. There's no reason to really sign with an agent and do it, because you're not going to get any help. So it's fascinating for sure. But that grift is going to keep happening where it's like, "All right, well, what will people buy me as, sell me as all their other stuff?" Problem is, once you get stuck in the middle, like a Chris Cuomo like that, what do you believe in? - Well, you're just hoping that people will forget what you were about just a couple of years ago, right? Now, Cuomo is a more affable personality than Don Lemon. - I agree. - Don Lemon's a freak, right? Everybody hates Don Lemon. I don't even think the people that like him like him. You know what I mean? He just fits the right demo and said the right shit for a while. But you can see, he tried to do that morning show with those women. They didn't even get along. Like, he's just a fucking unlikable asshole. Cuomo is probably, to be honest, I would probably hang out with the dude in real life. You know what I mean? - Yeah. - Like, we keep letting this political shit get. Like, if we were out drinking and someone was like, "Oh, I'm Democrat," I wouldn't fucking throw my booze in his face and leave. - No. - Are you that weak-minded? - Oh. - You can't fucking tolerate the presence of somebody who thinks differently than you? - Yeah, I mean, that's crazy. - That is insane to behave that way. It's only recently that we've even considered behaving that way, right? - But yes. And actually, that's a huge problem is that people view their entertainment that way too. Like, I want someone who makes me laugh who aligns with me as much as fucking possible. And if he says something I don't like, I'm gone. - That how fucking dumb it, like, how much do you miss? Here's what happens when you fucking behave that way, by the way. You get saddering out live. - Yep. - That nobody thinks is funny, right? The only people even watching that show are probably 35 to 55-year-old white women, frankly. I don't think anybody else watches that show. - That describes Rob, yes. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - And then-- - I mean, you do look like you might be-- - Like a 35-year-old white woman, yeah. - On your way. - Yeah, 35 might be young. - To a white woman, though. But yeah, that's exactly what you get, and that's the content you get. And I think this, what you just said ties into why these people are trying to switch and figure it out, 'cause they're trying to find this audience now that this is a new environment where people are starting to care more about politics and where their money's going. And I think that's what's worrying most of these personalities and entertainment people and all this other shit. And I think you're gonna see a lot more people switch and go to one side because it's paying more. To whoever the fuck it is. - Yeah. - Now, for us, we started this shit so long ago that-- - Well, there wasn't even an offer. - There's a number of people who have been pretty consistent over the years. Like, Port Doy's been pretty consistent, frat, road, D-bag, Republican-- - Yeah. - Since he's been out, right? - Yeah. - That's who he is as a human being. Like, that's the solution to all this, is just be the person you're gonna be, and nature will just sort us out, right? See, that is really the only reason he's truly persisted, is that he's authentic. - Uh-huh. - He's being honest. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because the people who think like you and enjoy that will naturally gravitate to you. And you'll get haters, but that actually helps. It amplifies the brand when there's haters, because it energizes the people in your base to go back and attack that, right? - Yeah. - So it's like, just be the fucking asshole you are. Make some mistakes, do some dumb shit. If you do dumb enough shit, say you're sorry. But be yourself, right? Like, these people who are like, "Oh man, I just woke up one day and realized, man." You know, like, "Oh, did you? Did you?" Now, were you looking at YouTube studios in your back end when you were doing that? Or was it, when exactly did it happen? You fucking piece of shit. - Yeah, Cuomo in real life. I've had a few friends run into him. He's got like a vacation spot up there. I forget where it's at. And I was like, "What's he like in real life?" They were like, "Dude, he's actually fucking awesome." And I was like, "No shit. These were Republican friends of mine." And I was like, "No shit." And they were like, "Yeah, he's pretty fucking cool." And so was his wife. And I was like, "All right." I don't know him, but I'm the same. Like, I'd have a beer with that dude. I bet she's got some wild stories, too. - Oh yeah. Yeah, he seems like it would be fun to hang out with. A lot of people asking me, and I wanted to get to get to this today, is if barbecue, our friend barbecue down in Haiti, is actually controlling the country down there. And they wanted me to ask you about this, if the Pentagon sent anti-terrorism marines to Haiti. Is that true? - I don't know if they've actually deployed anybody yet, but yeah, there is discussion in Washington about spending up a fucking you and sending them down there. Yeah, I don't know what anti-terrorism marines mean. - I don't either. - You mean like recon guys or something maybe? - So one of our listeners sent me an article here from the Daily Mail. Let me pop it open here. Pentagon sends anti-terrorism marines to Haiti, to beef up U.S. embassy security with country on the brink of civil war down there. So there's a team called Elite Fast Team. F, period A, period A, S-T-A, obviously. - Yeah, I've never heard of that. It's a fleet anti-terrorism security. So yeah, it's a mew that does counter-terrorism stuff. I mean, think of it like, I don't know. I don't want to split hairs here, but then it's like a SIF team and Special Forces, or something like that, but they're on boats. Yeah, I don't know, maybe. Maybe they're doing that. So let's go back in the order that you asked the questions. Is barbecue in control of Haiti? I don't think he's in control of anything. Like himself even, right? He's eating fucking people. So I don't think he's in control of anything. Now, the so-called leader of Haiti resigned yesterday. - Yep. - Right, I don't know. I mean, what does that even mean? Who did he send his letter of resignation to? - I don't know. - Did he like pen it to the fucking front door, like the 95 thesis or something? Like, who do you fucking resign to in Haiti? I think you just leave and hope you don't get your fucking head cut off on the way out. You should look into, so Shane Cashman, who we found on the show before, he's a Tim Cash, he's a writer over at a Tim Poole show, who will again, he'll be at that April 27th thing here. He and I will be talking about election security and shit like that with other people. But he did a good breakdown. I think it was on Tim Poole's show either last night or the night before, I think it was the night before about the Clinton Global Initiative and what they did to Haiti. I mean, they butt fucked that country big time. And it's like completely fucked up, which Haiti was already, it's never been nice, right? - No. - So it's like, they went into the hood and fucking distributed crack everywhere, right? - Exactly. - Right. - Except for, I mean, it was the same kind of thing. And now it's just like, it's been chaos ever since. So what are you gonna do, man? - Is that barbecue right there, Bob? - Yeah, he's got fucking P-Mags in and a fucking angled forward assist. - I don't think Rob looked behind him. - As if barbecue was gonna walk into the studio. - The door was opening. That was like, could it be? This man could be anyway. - Joel, it's not barbecue. Put the camera back there. Let's see, it's Joel. Does that look like barbecue there? - You asked and he just went. - I know, it turned around immediately. Afraid for his life that barbecue is there. That's a barbecue eater right there. - I check under the bed at night for barbecue. - Dan, then we got some sponsors to put this shit wagon on the air. 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This St. Patrick's Day makes sure your little Harry leprechaun is luckier than ever with Manscaped. Gotta love their copy. There's guys who are the best in the visit copy over there. Last but not least, we got ketone IQ today. Take a shot of this right before I do every single show. It's always on the desk. If you're always wondering what that little orange box is, that's what it is, dude. The ketone IQ. It's hvmn.com/drinkingbros is where you can get it, or every single sprouts across the nation if you live next to a sprouts. What is ketone IQ? Well, it's brain fuel. It's a clean energy boost without sugar or caffeine. You're not gonna feel like you crash or jittery or any of that weird shits that you're getting to those gas station products. When is it used? Just take a shot whenever you need to re-energize. Really helps you focus, man. I lock in for a good three to four hours there with a shot of this. You can get it by shot so you can get it in the bottle and pour some into a cap. You're a call, whatever you want to do over there. I enjoy both, but the shots, the shot ones are the ones you always see in our desk over here. Please note, they're not a keto product, even though 60% of the Tour de France uses it. And ketone IQ, along with fuck, man. All the bunch of guys in the military, man. None of the DOD just pumped a bunch of money into these guys. And it's probably the best clean energy boost I've ever had. No lie, I used to take some of that shit from the gas station. From time to time when I was in a pinch, I don't have to do that anymore. And neither do you. Go to hvmn.com/drinkinbros. Again, that's hvmn.com/drinkinbros. And subscribe upon checkout for 30% off. Throw another body on the fire. Yeah, so this is saying, what else the fuck are they saying here, man? They're trying to get everybody out of the embassy down there. Are they not? Are we not out of there? Well, all the people that I was responsible for are out. Okay. That's all I know. I don't know anything about anything else. I've got some friends down there that are doing, that are working, but you know, it's it is what it is, you know, that's a shithole area. The real question is, how many of these cannibals are going to make their way through to the United States? That's what I'm worried about. There's a really, I think it was the Babylon B actually are they're running this meme right now that's like once these cannibals found out how fat Americans were, they started walking north. There's no better place in San Antonio. That's what I'm saying. Like you could really, honestly, problem solution, right? Nature provides always. Think about it this way. Nature beings in San Antonio. Well, I mean, let me let me let me go through this. So this is how a star works, like the sun, every other star. Gravity pushes these hydrogen atoms down. They collide into each other with such force that they combined two protons. And now it's a helium atom, right? So on and so forth, and it's 15 million degrees at the core. The reason that it doesn't just blow up into space is because gravity holds it in place, right? So it's a natural symbiosis push, pull, yin, yang, whatever you want to call it. It is fundamental to the universe. Now, that's why I think I don't mean this in like a hippie way. I mean, nature provides, right? If there's a problem, nature will probably find a solution to it, right? That's how existence works. So I see quite literally the fattest city on earth. I've gone through these numbers before. San Antonio is the seventh largest city in the US by population. It's the third fattest. And the other two are nowhere near that population, right? And other countries don't have fat people like we do. Rascal scooters are just making their way over to the UK now. Yeah, they're fucking 40 years behind us. Yeah, sure are. So San Antonio has more fat people in it than any city in the history of human beings ever. So you're saying let all the Haitians. I'm not saying to do it. Go to San Antonio. But I would understand if they wanted to. A lot of marble meat. I hope they like Mexican food. Yeah, sure. Have you seen the clip though that's been going around again today of the old CNN journalists interviewing a cannibal? No, I haven't seen it. What's this picture, Bob? That's what this is. Oh, man, we can play it real quick. Yeah, we're impatient. I don't know if I'd let it touch me. Shit, yeah, yeah. Just watch this. Okay. Is that Reza Oslin? Maybe I'll take this off right now and then. Just thank you. Okay. Thank you. Is that human skin? Me? It looked like crab legs. Yeah. Why are people on that side of the river so afraid of the bug and then he's got an egg over. Dale, I didn't know that. Like this may have been a mistake. Just like somebody distracts him and I just leave. This is where it goes. We can be polite. I can be very polite about it. Holy shit. Got to love the director. Let's just see where this goes. Is that real? Yeah. So it's not the guy's not a comedian or anything? No. No, that's I think that's Reza Oslin, isn't it? He's a former Muslim that became a Christian. He's done a lot of debates against people like Sam Harris and shit back in the day. Kind of a, he's a smart guy. That's not a smart idea. No. I mean, what the fuck? I mean, it looked like he was wearing, he gave him a finger necklace to wear on his head. Well, I mean, like how much more does the guy have to telegraph what his intentions are? Does he have to walk over and start shaking salt on his head? Well, he literally said in that interview, do I have to bite off a piece of my own arm to tell you that I'm a cannibal? Which is fun. I would have said yes. I don't believe you. Can you please devour yourself? Yeah. I mean, that guy's feral too. So Reza Oslin has probably never been in a fight in his life, just based on looking at him. Yeah. So he probably shouldn't talk shit. I feel like if you're a journalist and you're going to hang out with some cannibals, maybe bring security. Yeah, I would definitely bring somebody in. Yeah. I mean, seriously, hire barbecue. Yeah. He's looking for work and it's like, oh, you're going to cut my head off. Barbecue will eat you right now, dude. He'll cannibalize. That's meta cannibalism. Cannibalism, you fucking bitch. By the way, I do want to commend the director on that saying, let's see where this goes. I was shooting a film and it was started to rain and there was lightning in the distance. And my first AD in the cinematographer were like, hey, I think we should pull out of this. We're outside, we're shooting outside. And I was like, there's only like two takes left. Let's just see what happens. I don't think it's very close and the cinematographer got electrocuted. Just know if we're in that situation, I want to do the same to you. To me? Yeah. I'm going to cut your head off. No, no, we got to see where this goes. Just see where this goes. Yeah. First of all, I wouldn't put myself in that situation. Secondly, I was just lucky the guy didn't sue me for getting electrocuted there. And it was just a small zap. It wasn't like he fell on the ground or anything. Yeah, he's fine. He was fine, but he was very, very pissed off and understandably so. We got the shots and that's the most important thing. That's so we got it and we were fine and able to move on. Once you commit to the content, you got to go all the way through, no matter what it is. And if you're going to interview a bunch of cannibals and the guy asks you if he needs to eat his own fucking arm off to prove he's a cannibal, I think you should let him do that too. Yeah, why not? You know? But go to this article here, Bob, on the Daily Mail. If you can. I'm going to copy and paste it from the listener. It's about barbecue here because they've got a video of him walking through the streets, firing off his weapon there, asking people to give Haiti a chance. So what I can do is, oh, you got it. Okay, good. Yep, that's the video right there. So I haven't seen this. The listener just sent it in. Let's see this right now. It looks fun though. Is it an ad for Ghostbed? Play it. Ghostbed? Yeah, look at their RV mattress. Sleep and style and enjoy luxurious comfort with three layers of premium materials. Three. Perfectly sized for your RV, camber, or trailer. Yeah, it is a really nice fucking contract. Are they? They're advertising directly to Joel now. Yep. Right. It's a high density base foam. Joel added to all our videos, dude. And now they're just directly advertising to Joel. And resistant to mold. If you don't think they're listening to us, it's the perfect example here. We get a guy who lives in a trailer behind the studio. Yeah, you've heard the best sleep you've ever had on the road. It's always an RV ad. Skip the ad. Look at barbecue there. This video player sucks. That's fine. He always got a towel boy. I'm going to fucking towel boy. No way. That's some ditty shit right there. He's got a fucking. What's he carrying there, Dan? John Wick gone there. I don't know whatever it is. He's got a pretty fancy fucking flash oppressor on the end of it. Why are they always carrying tires down there? I don't really understand. Everybody's got a fucking tire there. So you put four or five tires around a person and then light it on fire. Oh, Jesus Christ. It's not great. Today we're taking the occasion to lead the country and the model of government we want. And we're out here trying to get Haiti out of hell, I guess. I don't know what the fuck this guy is saying here. I like just walking through the streets with a towel boy rolling tires next to you the whole way. So that's what it's for. To wrap people up in tires and then light them on fire. Yeah, it depends on the part of the world. I think it's Somalia. They use it to signal if Americans are coming. What kind of gun is this guy holding? Yeah, they were using it for a. You got to pause it on the gun. I can't try to. I don't think they get like a wide shot. Well, it looks nice. And I'm wondering where he got it, you know. Gunbroker.com. I have no idea. Probably the US left him down there. Great. I mean, honestly, that's kind of what we do, right? Yeah. We've armed half the fucking world. I thought there was. I mean, it's just a AR 50. I don't know what kind. Who knows, man. It's like a CAA buttstock on it. And now he's just walking around with a fucking pistol. Well, towel boy is holding his rifle. That's his squire. Yeah, this is the modern squire. I knew it. Can you imagine? Can you imagine if we had had squires in the fucking GWAT? Just some fucking little gimpy dude. Or somebody's nephew or some shit. Just holding my fucking, my gun. Yeah. God damn it, that would have been dope. Man, just have a little Farnsworth behind you with an umbrella. What's a Farnsworth? What do you mean? Diddy had a guy named Farnsworth that he made dress up super nice. You can pull up a picture of that. Was that his real name or did he give him that name? Because it sounds. He gave him that niche. Yeah, that's exactly what he did. And all he did was stand next to Diddy and hold a fucking umbrella over his head. It'd be nice to be bottled, right? Yeah, that wasn't a bottle. To have a bottle or a picture of a beach. Technically that's a valet. Valet, whatever the fuck. How do you want to see it? I'm a little concerned about what happened between these two. Yeah, me too. So pop this up. So he made him wear this fucking suit walking down the beach too, while he's holding the umbrella over him. So he was never allowed outside of this suit in this bow tie. He was in, well he would wear different suits because he was in the music video for the one really good Diddy song. Bad boys for a lot. For some, no, no, no. Fuck well. He's at a bunch of them. I'm coming home. Either way, Farnsworth was always there. The umbrella or a briefcase or something. Now knowing what we know about Diddy could have just been blasting his ass. We don't know anything. No, it's alleged, but let's face it. It kind of lines up, right? Seems like it might be true, yeah. But a lot of smoke there. I just like, you know, who cares, man? Like, Meek Mill sucks dicks. Sure, I don't give a shit. I mean, if he does or not, I don't care. I don't care. How is that relevant? I don't care either. You can play this. We're on Patreon. Who gives a shit? I just want to hear what song this is. This is bad. What shall I fall? Roll it back to it. Just play it. Oh, yeah, dude. This was a banger back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and ever. It's the last time Mace was seen in public. Yeah, it sure was. Here's Farnsworth coming up. So how does he still work for him now? No. Or is he the one accused him of butt stuff? One of the, oh god, one of the- See a butt stuff guy? One of the results, the top result. Farnsworth Bentley reveals how he really escaped from Diddy. I don't know. Is that what he looks like now? He looks the same. For some reason- I've never seen him not in a suit. Now we're in Tida. For some reason in this context, how escaping from Diddy, I just kind of imagine him covering his butt hole with both hands and running away giggling or something. I don't know why that's the image that popped into my head. Same. Have we started a butt hole revolution on this show? Because we're getting a lot of artwork out there of people's assholes. What do you think that's the shirt he's wearing? Is it a butt hole? It's what it looks like. I mean, look behind me. It looks like Hope Solo's assholes. Well, that is what it is. No, I know. Oh, you mean this shirt? On his shirt too. I think we might have created this anus revolution for everybody out there. And if you're having great butt sex at home, you're welcome. We've done this for you. That's our gift to you, okay? And I want you to enjoy it out there. But I think of Farnsworth for you would be great. What height and weight do you want this guy to be? He looks, well, she's, let's say she's an average height woman. He's like five, nine, maybe. Because she would be five, three. But if she's for you, what do you want, though? Oh, I don't give a shit. As your side, your side boy. Oh, my side for a dude. Yeah. You know, I don't know. I guess it would be a twink. So whatever that is. You want like Chalamet around next to you holding your rifle? He's not even twinkie enough for me. Okay. Really? No. Chalamet's on? He's like, he's doing action stuff now. It's ruined it. No, he's still fucking tiny, man. I think a Chalamet is a good one. I don't know how tall that guy is in real life. I've never met him, but he looks small. I think that's a good one. If you're going to Chalamet up and have him carry your rifle and shit like that. If you're going twink, I think for me, I would go Elliot Page just because I care, you know? I'm an ally. And I want to give Elliot Page a shot at that, you know? I mean, it's, I don't think she had a fucking dick put on or nothing. So she still has a purse. No way. Yeah, well, what do you think she did? I thought she got the fucking, she got a dick put on. How do you claim it if you're not going to do it? That's what I, that's what I have the biggest problem with. If you're fully going to transition, sew up that purse and then sew a dick and balls on, like go for it. I don't, you shouldn't be allowed to call yourself trans if you haven't completed it. That's fucked up, dude. Complete the process. Caitlyn Jenner, dick and balls cut off? Yes or no? Do we know that answer? Uh, I don't think so. Then that doesn't count. Yeah. Sorry, you're still Bruce. Don't change your fucking name. If you want to go, go all in, dude. Don't just give us this half ass bullshit. If I was hooking up with Elliot Page and I pulled down her boxers, I want to see a fake dick and balls in my face. Even if it's just a loose dildo shoved down the pants. Something? Something, right? You got a mix? Something? Shit. Go over to fucking Africa and pay somebody. They'll do it. Go down to Haiti. I bet your barbecue would be happy to give you a dick and balls that he's chopped off. That's not something he's looking to eat. I don't know that he's got a lot of spare body parts just lying around. I think he does. I think they're getting eaten. He, I mean, you would definitely eat the dick. I wouldn't eat the dick. For the power. Like he's, it's, I assume his religion is probably voodoo, right? Or whatever the fuck. Could be. Uh, they do down there. I don't know what the actual religion's called, but, um, yeah, they would eat the balls, at least. For the power. Yeah. The heart and the balls. Okay. I wouldn't go for the balls myself. But actually, people eat fucking one Rocky Mountain oysters is the thing. But all, but ancient cultures definitely have historically eaten animal testicles. Bull testicles. Yeah. That's been big. That's been big. Anyways, what do you say, Bob? In 2012, a Japanese chef actually cut off his own penis and cooked it for people. How was it? Uh, I don't know. There's no reviews. Teriyaki. Get on, get on Yelp. Yeah. Did he ting ting it? Ting ting ting ting ting. That's so many people that get teriyaki's a sauce. What do you say? There's only so many people that could leave that review though, right? No, but you got to use the teriyaki sauce. Yeah. The people that were fucking there, I want to know. Yeah. Who ate it? And then I want to know if like different race dicks are better than others. That's rough right there. Oh boy. Is that a, what is that? That's a testicle. And it's still got hair on. Ah, fuck. Fuck dude, I don't want to see that. I kind of feel like maybe you should have removed the hair. Oh. Why didn't you shave? Why don't you use manscape on that fucking ballsack, dude? I don't. Yes, I can't eat that. I think this is dick up here. Like I think you're seeing rare cock up top. Okay. That's not head either. Like split in half. Yeah, I think that's shaft. I think we were seeing. Yeah, I think you're seeing shaft. No, the main photo. No, that's a ball sack. Look at the hair, dude. You're fucking. That's not sack. That's a nut sack right now. The rest of that hair probably burned off. Look, is that, is that parsley or cilantro on there? I just want to get the fucking recipe. I think it's parsley. There's parsley in the corner. Yeah. So I think that's probably some of the, it looks like this parsley was speared on a pube. God damn it. You can show that, right? Yeah, it's too late for fucking too late to apologize. Damn it. What were the reviews on that nut sack? Anybody say it was delightful? Uh, I don't know. Oh, is that somebody slicing it right there? Fuck, fuck, fuck. God damn it, dude. Oh, I did not want to see that today. You fucking assholes. Now shit. Did they show him cutting his dick off too? Like, how do you know it's his dick? Yeah, I guess he told. I mean, if he walks into, there's a blood spot on the front of his pants, I guess that would be amazing. Yeah, yeah. He just killed a homeless guy. Took his dick. Yeah. I don't see why. Is that on top of like garlic mashed potatoes? It looks like it. So this appears to be, I think, I don't even know, but it's part of a wiener. That looks like the bottom of the shaft and then a little bit of the sack. Yeah, and then here's, uh, ironically, a mushroom tip, but not his. No, that's, well, beef usually goes with mushrooms. Looks rare. How would you want your dick and balls? Need him well. Okay. Need him well. Because I don't, I don't want it. I like, they're obviously going to overcook it. And, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, under cook it. Ah, God. Was he laying down on the ground there? Where? He's got his hand over his head. Oh, yeah. This is the chef. I think it's just, he's just posing dramatic. All right. I didn't know if that was like, right before he cut off his own dick, and served it to people. Do you tell the waiter first? Hey, uh, I'm going to need you to go out and read the special. Sure. What are they? Well, it's my own dick and balls tonight. Yeah. And it's going to take, uh, just let them know before they start ordering apps. It's going to take 45 minutes. Because I've got to do the surgery first. No, this is an off menu thing. And it's, well, it's the chef at once. It's the chef's tasting menu. And you're going to literally taste the chef. Literally taste the chef. Fuck. What is that? What is that? Who found this and why? Oh, Bob did Bob did. I guess we are kind of on a cannibal theme today. Yeah. Well, well, I just wanted to fuck with you guys in this picture. This is actually a pig's penis. That is being prepared. I was going to say that's a pretty decent Asian penis. Yeah, it's not Asian, bro. That's a pig. Pig dick. That's what, uh, Michael Rappaport calls Donald Trump. Yeah. I don't know why. I don't know if he's seen, uh, Don's dick or not. Pig dick. I wouldn't, I'd take a look. I'd take a pig at it, sure. If like, uh, Trump fell down as pants came off, and I was walking nearby or whatever, I'd take a look. Have you ever looked at a celebrity's cock at a curiosity? Um, I mean, if they, if they're out, yeah. If somebody says, oh, do you see so-and-so sex tape? Yeah, I've seen it. I promise you, uh, or some dude's dick or whatever the fuck? Yeah, I've seen them all. I always look. I was standing next to Bob. You'll appreciate this one. I was, uh, in a urinal next to Andre Agassi. Super random. And, uh, and I had to, I couldn't resist. I took a, I took a pig at it. Had a decent hog on him. Andre Agassi had a decent hog. Oh, really? Yeah. The guy putting it to Barbra Streisand and Brooks Shields. Come on. Had a decent hog to him. Well, that doesn't mean anything. Fame will get you in the door. True. Right. Uh, but, you know, if you get returned customers, uh, is there a, is there a Yelp for wieners? Uh, no. There used to be one for rate my, remember rate my shit? Rate my poo. Rate my poo, yeah. Rate my poo, yeah. That's a, yeah. There was that. It was hot or not for turds. Uh, was it really? That's essentially what it was. I don't know if it was the same company or not, but it was the same. It looked very, like, similar. Yeah. So I think- We did a show about it years ago when we went on the rabbit hole and looked at all those shit. I think it may have been the same company, to be honest. Okay. Yeah, but I, I guess he had a decent hog on him. And the hilarious thing was, he just won the gold medal at the Olympics. So he had his medal on him too. And I was like, man, what a fucking flex. Wait, he had it on his hog? Yeah. No, not on his dick, but on his, around his neck. Because. Now- That'd be the dick pick to send. Like, if you're, if you're going to send, uh, an unsolicited wiener pick to somebody. Uh huh. If you have a gold medal or like, put it next to an Oscar or something like that, that's, I think that's acceptable, to be honest. Uh, yeah. No, I did find a, uh, I've read it subreddit right by cock. So. Yeah, but that's the thing on like, every OnlyFans girl has a fucking thing where you, oh, send me 40 bucks and I'll pick your dick and I'll rate it for you. Right. Like, what the fuck? I know. What, what world do we live in? Where somebody would actually do that shit? Not sure. That's very bizarre to me. Like, I don't need you to tell me what my dick looks like. I've got eyeballs. I could see it. Well, these hairless men. I know. You got to shave it up down there. Right. I mean, you got to, they're shaving their bodies. They're whole bodies. Oh, god. I don't do that. Well, I don't, I don't have to, but you got to shave. You got to shave down there. You got to manscape that up. Uh, I got a good one for you guys. You guys host a baseball show. Yeah. My, uh, one of my best friends from college, shout out Ryan Rexis, was the bat boy for the Cleveland Indians for years. Um, and he was a kid. And, uh, and, and I said, how crazy was that during that time? And, uh, and he goes, because, you know, the Indians were, were doing well. They went to the World Series and all that other shit. And, uh, he was, he was dude. It was fucking nuts. And I was like, what about the players? He got any crazy stories. And he goes, yeah, man. Uh, he was like, it was six inning. And, uh, and I'm, you know, a kid. And I'm standing there taking a piss. Jim Toomey runs in. And, uh, there was only one urinal there. And he goes, man, I got to go. And I'll just go right next to you. And just, only she's a fucking hammer. And he goes, dude, looking at the size of Jim Toomey's penis. He's a big man. He goes, I froze. Yeah. He goes, I froze. I realized that I will never have a penis that big. And he goes, I could not piss one drop until Jim Toomey left. And, uh, and he goes, Jim Toomey just unleashed this holacious fucking piss that was never ending. And he had to stand there with his dick out next to him. Not his little, just now you got to be a little tinker toy. Yeah, here's, here's what I know about mid 90s. Cleveland Indians locker rooms. You didn't want to freeze up because Omar Vescale was in there. Right. He was on the prowl. He was like, I guess if you're not retarded, you're safe. Yeah. That's two people that would have been worse than Toomey, at least on that roster. One. Albert Bell, for sure. And Albert Bell. He was a toward your deco. Yeah. I don't know where it would have, would have just like, either pissed on you or like, just smashed you into the wall, killed you and peed on your body. Definitely. If you're white, like I'm, I have some friends who, uh, run into him from time to time, some baseball people. And they're like, yeah, he's like, even angrier now than he was before. And he hates white people. Albert Bell? Yeah. Not shocking. Not shocking. If you're a white person, you see him definitely call him Joey. Because he hates it. And then to see what happens, you know? Maybe you can get a fucking settlement. Yeah, just go from there. But the end result, Bob, was, uh, after he finished pissing, he zipped up and, uh, just slapped him on the back and he goes, see out there, kid, and just took off running. And he goes, I've never felt like less of a man in my entire life. And I understand that. I understand that. But I did take a peek at Andre Agassi's hug. And if you're out there, Andre, and you're listening, know that it was impressive, man. And, uh, yes, you deserve all the accolades you had here. Um, let's get to the trigger for the week. This has been a fucking disgusting show. I went off the fucking rails today. You're on Patreon. Jesus Christ, dude. I, that fucking ball sack cooked up like that. And that shaft, we've taken it too far today. We've really taken it too. What's funny, too, is that like he cooked it on a hot plate. And no, look at that thing. You got to treat your dick better than that. Why do they blur out that girl's face there? Do you know? I don't know. Probably a child. Uh, oh God. I hope not. God, I hope not. So the child has a microphone and what, like, why do they have a microphone standing over this cooked penis and balls? Like, what are they announcing to the public? Maybe they have a guy like a peanut guy, like a baseball game. Fresh not cheer or whatever. I don't know. Make it authentic. This looks like Chinatown, by the way. In, uh, in, uh, San Francisco, there's a bunch of fucking random ass pop-up restaurants. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. And people's like living room. What it looks, I think, it's rental properties that they put them in to make it look like that. Nobody actually lives there, but they set deck it to look like people live there. It's fucking weird as shit. Yeah, that is weird, man. Uh, great. That's the best Chinese food I've ever had in the United States. That was in San Francisco. Yeah, damn it. I wish that city was cool again. All right, uh, drinking bro of the week, you can submit on drinkingbrows.com. While you're there, peruse our catalog of, uh, t-shirts, hoodies. The store is completely stocked up. We got the creed, uh, 24 yard signs up there, defund politician. Yard signs up there for election season. Those are selling out quick over there. We ordered some extras this year to try to meet the demands. Bob, if you can pop that up on drinkingbrows.com, that'd be great. While you're over there, uh, there is a submission, uh, page to, uh, submit your drinking bro of the week. It will be emailed directly to us. And, uh, this one was submitted by Alex Nichols, uh, from the great state of west by God, Virginia. Uh, has been a listener since 2018, um, and is nominating Alexa, who is living. Thank you for putting that in there. I'm nominating my girlfriend of two years, uh, because on March 21st, she'll be graduating from the army national guard, basic training, then six weeks of AIT. What's that? You know what AIT is? Uh, advanced individual training. So basic training, then infantry training, or whatever your job, specific job is. Okay. And I couldn't be more proud of her in what she has accomplished these last 10 weeks. She's a badass chick and I'm beyond thankful to have her in my life. Uh, thank you guys for the awesome show. I listened to it every single morning on the way to work. Keep up the great work, gentlemen. Cheers, uh, cheers to you, Alex Nichols. We appreciate it. And then, uh, Bob, pop up that sign there. These are going fast. These deep, these, these defund, uh, politician yard signs of it. Yeah, uh, just a quick update on that. Those are the defund politician ones are almost gone. Actually, let me check. I'll check and see how many are even left right now. It's not very many. Is it possible to reorder? Yeah, we'll, we'll reorder some at some point, but it's going to be a couple of weeks. Yeah, there's only 30 of those yard signs. Oh, shit. All right. So if you want one, you better get on it today. Yeah. I, full disclosure, I ordered mine off from one site before I came out to the gen pop dude. Uh, fun show today. Jesus. Should we close with that ball sack dude? And I'll read the, the Spotify thing over it. You know, I think it's only fair for everybody who's on Patreon to see this one more time. Yeah. Pomp that up there. Enjoy it. I had to, I'm going to go throw up in my fucking hand after the show is over, but, Easter, if you're out there and you enjoy eating another man's penis inside of a restaurant. Well, you and I probably aren't friends in real life. Go to iTunes, rate the show a five star and leave a quick review. Also head on over to Spotify. It's just a five star and you can walk away. For Anthony and Anthony Holloway, I'm Ross Patterson. This drinking rose. I guess good. Right in the morning. Go wild with generative AI in Adobe Photoshop. Create anything you can imagine just by typing a text prompt like a Jaguar. No, a Jaguar on a spaceship. Yes, this changes everything. Try it now at photoshop.com.
