Amala Ekpunobi

She Posted Her Breakup Story Online. It Went Viral For All The Wrong Reasons.

A young woman who was broken up with after she moved across the country for her boyfriend made her story into a song which is now going viral on the Internet. But does she really deserve the sympathy she’s getting? Let’s talk about it.

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Broadcast on:: 23 Oct 2024
Audio Format:: other

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Discounts and covered selections not available in all states or situations. A video of a girl explaining her recent breakup out of a three and a half year relationship is going massively viral, getting millions of views across all different platforms. Everybody's expressing their sympathy for her, but in my opinion, it's going viral for the wrong reasons. Let's talk about it. Guys, before we get into today's video, please like and subscribe. Yesterday, we're talking about relationships and breakups. I saw this TikTok pop up on my 4U page, and it's a girl who's actually singing. She made a breakup song, I guess, about her experience coming out of a three and a half year relationship and talking about how things went down. We're going to watch it. I'll give you my take on it, but it seems like the general view of this video is that people are sympathizing with her. They're saying, "This man did you dirty and you need to do something about it." So let's watch. Imagine you live in L.A. with your boyfriend, and everything's going amazing. Till he says, "Babe, I want to move back to Texas to be closer to my dad." So you give a path of your career, quit your improv troupe, and have a goodbye party. Take off months of work to plead your savings, to pay for movers, and drive to Texas. So worth it for the love of your wife, that wants a future with you, because he said so. So you spend a month winning for your shit to arrive, and then another month moving in, and building furniture and stuff, and you're so happy. Till he comes back from a family vacation, sits on your couch, and you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And you have all the power to be held. And I'm just gonna get back to you, I just need to back it for you. And then you drive to Florida to live with your mom. Woo! We just went on a journey with that one. What a story. Wow, that's interesting. What an interesting way to process a breakup. It's sort of giving Taylor Swift day to man, break up, and then make a whole song about it. It goes viral. I guess, you know, this is one way to unpack things and deal with your feelings. I don't know that I would advise this. You know, if she had come to me and said, "Hey, I just got out of this really lengthy relationship." I'm thinking about writing a song about it. I'm like, "Okay, you can write a song about that. Maybe process that. Do something personal for yourself." That might help you get through your feelings. If she then told me she was thinking about posting that song on TikTok with photo evidence of the relationship, just putting emojis over his face, I would have said, "Maybe we slow down a little bit. We think that one through a little bit. You look a little strange. But you know what? I guess things are really moving in her favor. I saw this on my TikTok 4U page. It has millions of views. And I went to read the comments because surely people are going to be saying, "This is a very strange way to deal with your breakup, and I know things are hard. I sympathize with you. I've been through a bad breakup myself, but maybe we don't post our entire relationship on the internet for all to view." But that was definitely not the sentiment that was being shared in her comments. Let's read. People are saying things like, "This is something. Take him to court. I'm sad for you, but obsessed with your delivery." I'm so sorry that happened, but this song is a certified bop. 40,000 likes on that one. And you know what? I get it. When I first saw this song on my 4U page, I was like, "Ha, you know, that's so funny. What a hilarious way to deal with a breakup and, you know, get through it." And it's funny that she's going viral and she's getting all this commentary about her relationship and how this guy did her wrong. But when I had a second to take myself out of our year 2024 and think about this situation in any other context, I started to think, "This is a little strange." If you had a friend come up to you and say they were going to do this on the other end of their breakup, I think you would tell them not to do so. And of course, we're only getting her side of the story now, so you have this guy who's just gotten out of a long relationship for reasons unknown. We know her side of it. And now he has to watch this all go viral. I don't think it's a good look. Especially if you're still in love with this man. Some things I think are meant to be kept private or amongst friends, family, you know, a tight-knit group of people, not necessarily blasted on the internet for millions to see. But of course, we're in this new era of social media where everybody is sharing every single vulnerable moment that takes place in their life and they're getting rewarded for it. And while it does suck to be in a long-term relationship and feel like you've just had the rug pulled out from underneath you, especially after moving, and I sympathize with that, I don't know that I sympathize with making a video like this and posting it on the internet. Breakups are tough, especially when you feel like they've come out of nowhere and you're still in love with the person. But I think actions like this actually stop us from taking a step back, taking a deep breath, and processing what has happened, and also thinking about our involvement in what has happened. Now she has all these people in her TikTok comments saying, "Take him to court. He's an awful person. It's totally his fault." And that's cool and all. And maybe it helps you feel better about the situation. But it also stops you from looking in the mirror and taking notice of things that maybe you missed in the three and a half years that you were with this guy. And it could be bad traits that you're carrying into your relationship that maybe turned him off a little bit, or you could be a great girlfriend who maybe lacks a little bit of discernment and miss some red flags in your relationship that would have told you, "Hey, this man is not interested in me, and maybe I shouldn't move to Texas with him." But because this video was posted online, the narrative is sort of cemented at this point based on the court of public opinion. This guy sucks and you are the victim. There's no accountability to be taken. I have to emphasize, you know, I think it's cool that she made a song out of it and she's doing something creative in her pain and in her hurts. But this is not normal behavior. And I had to listen to the little voice in the back of my head that was telling me this is not normal behavior because I'm so desensitized to social media content that sort of revolves around the very personal parts of our lives. This isn't the first time I've seen a girl do something like this in the wake of a breakup, although it might be the first time I've seen it in the form of a song like this. And I can't help but think that once she's had the time to breathe and process and she gets a little distance from this situation, she's gonna look back at this video being posted and subsequently going viral and cringe a little bit. Maybe even a lot once you get older. And this video was not the only one about the breakup. She's been posting since it's gone viral, so let's watch a few follow-ups. Somebody told her she is delusional and that she missed some red flags and that she must not have been paying attention, and this is her response. Y'all actin like I just showed up in Texas and said, "Surprise!" I'm not even gonna talk about that one, I'll just let you figure it out. People are saying I need professional help because I still love him, but you can't just like turn your love off like a light switch. It'd be amazing if I could. Oh my god, I would love to, but it doesn't just go away when you want it to. There's this thing called unconditional love, and I have experienced it, and it makes me even more mad at him for denying that when he had someone who loved him unconditionally and still does, but I think it's pretty cool that I can love that hard. Obviously, I'm f***ing furious. Like, you don't want to know. Like, just, I've never been through something where you're experiencing the extremes of so many different motions all at once. Love, anger, desperation, heartbreak, these things can happen simultaneously. It's so hard to describe. Oh, and he is paying. Oh my god, he is paying for moving costs. Let the record be set straight. He is reimbursing me for the moving costs. Okay, not the voice memo of her screaming about the breakup. That's a little crazy. You know, she made a good point. You can't just turn your love off after a three-and-a-half-year relationship. What you can do is turn the camera on your phone off. You can turn TikTok off. You can not post the video online. Stop it. Get some help. If I was the guy in the situation who's just left this relationship with her, these videos on TikTok would rapidly confirm that I made the right decision. And yeah, it seems as though he deserves some flack for having her uproot her life and move to Texas and then sort of leaving her in the dust in the wake of that if that is actually how the story goes. Of course, we don't have his perspective. But still, these are things that we can deal with on a person-to-person basis. If she needs to have a conversation with him, she can try. If he doesn't want to have one, that is the nature of breakups. I don't know that any of this needs to be handled on TikTok. Like, girl, you have a digital footprint. Okay? And that footprint is going to be seen by future partners as well. Imagine you're trying to go on a date with a guy. He looks you up on social media and he sees you crying about your ex in a 90-second song that you wrote processing your three-and-a-half-year relationship. I think I'd be running for the hills. And it's not just that video. In the response video, she's made more. We'll watch one last one before we wrap up today's video. I wish that I had handed that note right back to him and said, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not happening. Whatever you think this is, isn't happening. I just moved across the country for you literally a month ago. We committed to a future together. We very explicitly talked about this and committed to it. Now is not the time to give in to the doubts. You had time and you didn't. And therefore, you owe me more than a f***ing note. I moved for you. I live here now. This is our house. My furniture is in this house. I'm not leaving. And we can talk about this and maybe we'll still break up, but it's not going to be like this. I really wish I had done that. Both for me and for him because we had so much love for each other and still do. But it's such a tragedy because I want to look back fondly. Like once I get over this, I want to look back fondly. I'm the kind of person that like I want to be friends with my exes. I love him so much. How am I supposed to look back fondly on this? He just ruined three and a half good, beautiful years. By doing this. Something that's just so insane that millions of people on the Internet are coming to my aid. Like he's not like he's a good man. He's a good person with morals and it's just so- The screen says I just wish I had stopped him from doing this to himself. Oh goodness. Okay, we're going to finish out. I'm out of character for him and it's just such a tragedy for us both. I just wish I had refused the notes. We're going to talk about this for a week. At the end of that week, maybe it will still break up, but it will be less traumatic and psychologically damaging than whatever the hell you're doing to me right now. And at the end of this week, if we break up, maybe there'll be a chance that we can still have a respectful relationship at some point in the future. But I was too shocked to do that. So, here we are. In Florida living with- Okay, I think it's more than shock. I think when somebody's breaking up with you, you don't have the choice to tell them you're going to stick around for another week and have a conversation about it and figure it out. I think when somebody decides to end a relationship, that is pretty much the end of it. I'm noticing the delusion more now than when I saw it in the song, although we saw the red flags there. And apparently he had red flags in this relationship that she didn't see because she's still talking about it as if it was 100% perfect the entire three and a half years that they were together, but somehow abruptly ended based on a sudden realization of his that they were incompatible. I have a feeling that homegirl is not catching the vibes, the three and a half years that these guys were together, and maybe he lied to her and sugar-coated things and had her move out, but still we have to take accountability for the things that maybe we didn't even see. And this is why when we crash out after a breakup, maybe we should do it around our friends and family, you know, have third parties to bounce off these ideas and think about where to move forward. And hopefully they advise you not to move forward in the realm of social media talking about your relationship on the internet, because everybody can find their echo chamber on the internet. You could be fully in the wrong post a video explaining your situation on the internet and find people who will validate whatever narrative it is you've spun for yourself. And while that can make us feel better about our situation, it's not necessarily healthy. Sometimes, even when somebody has done us wrong, or blindsided us, or left us in a shitty situation, we have to look inward and think to ourselves, how did I get here? Not what did they do to me, although that's helpful to think about, but what did I do to myself that led me to this outcome? Did I miss our incompatibility? Did he really want me to move with him to Texas? Should I have uprooted my entire life, quit my job, left my improv troupe in order to follow this man so that he could be closer to his dad? And lastly, should I press publish on this post? These are all questions I would be asking myself if I was her and trust, I've been through a crash out in my day over numerous things, you know? Stuff happens to us all the time and we get super emotional and we have visceral reactions, but thank goodness. None of my visceral reactions ever made it to TikTok, guys. Those are my thoughts on this video that's gone viral recently, I'd love to hear yours in the comments down below. What do you feel when you're looking at this? Do you sympathize with her? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? I feel like I'm in the middle. I see her plight, I understand that he might have done some wrong things, but I also see where some accountability can be taken. Let me know down below. As always, if you disagree with anything I said in this video, do get out but do so respectfully, we encourage healthy debate on this channel. And if you like this video, like, subscribe, click the notification bell to be notified every single time I post a video for you guys, which is every day, and I will see you tomorrow. Bye, guys. [Music]