Jesse Kelly Show
Jesse mocks Google for their DEI hire of a deaf black woman who is now suing Google
Lucky Land Casino asking people what's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky lucky in line at the deli I guess I'm in my dentist's office more than once actually do I have to say yes you do in the car before my kids PTA meeting really yes Excuse me. What's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? I never win and tell well there you have it You can get lucky anywhere playing at lucky land slots calm play for free right now. Are you feeling lucky? No purchase necessary for everybody by law 18 plus terms and conditions apply What's everything else this is a podcast from WOR It is the Jesse Kelly show final hour of the Jesse Kelly show on a Thursday We're almost there. We're almost to the weekend smile and smile about this Well, we'll make fun of the Boeing and I'm gonna talk a little bit about this tick-tock band some emails and stuff this hour But smile about something else first This is one of those things that always it's giving me great Glee and it's going to give me more and more glee in the coming years And if you would just become a terrible person like me you can share in the glee and here's what it is. Here's what it is These gigantic corporations They oftentimes turn into these huge soulless monsters and now in America They've been overrun by all this vile commie scum. That's warmed its way under the HR Departments and everything else. That's why that normal company you used to have sent out the email about Black Lives Matter last week It's because of HR and all these other horrible things these companies are doing, but there is a bright part of it the bright part of it is American corporations who are trying to destroy the country with their sick left-wing activism they themselves are Constantly running into major problems Because of the vile little animals they bring inside to their inside their walls They go to Harvard They go to these places that produce the most horrible vile commie scum and they hire these people essentially Essentially going out and finding a cancer and bringing the cancer inside of your body on purpose That's what America's evil corporations do when they hire these commie losers out of out of height at a college And it's killing them Starbucks has a brand-new problem every other day When a union eyes are your clothes in the store? I There's a new employee problem for Starbucks every other day and every time there's one I laugh and I laugh and laugh because Starbucks has been one of the truly garbage Car commie companies in this country for so long and they just constantly run into huge problems With the baristas who work for Starbucks who are 99% commie scum Creating problems for them. I love it when communists make trouble for communists Here's another story to put a smile on your face black deaf Google worker who was touted as a diverse success story Sues the tech giant for discrimination Her name is jalon hall the first and only black deaf hire at Google She slammed Google and now she's suing them. Why is she suing them? Because they didn't provide her enough access to sign language interpreters They hire this black deaf chick just because she's a black deaf chick and she turns around and Suze them because they weren't accommodating enough and it couldn't happen to better people Good for you Google good for you and you should know we reached out to this this black deaf chick for comment And we never heard back anyway back to the emails from what Michael Chris what it's fine Email you're asked dr. Jesse questions for tomorrow Jesse at Jesse Kelly show.com. I love that story so Anyway, look Chris the reason you don't understand the joke. I just made is it's like It's like tic-tac-toe tic-tac-toe a winner a winner tic-tac-toe a winner Chris Jesse every time I make your burger my husband tells me all the asked dr Jesse questions are clearly already coming in remember they don't have to be political ask me anything But here we go. I guess we'll start a little really Jesse every time I make your burger My husband says I'm not doing it right cuz I'm supposed to make one patty at a time get out of here with that And I certainly can't say that word young lady She said because I'm a wife teacher and a mom and I don't have the time His lazy butt doesn't even know with where the pans to cook said burger So could you please make a revision for busy moms making burgers for their lazy husband since she said I can say her name? Her name is Jessica Okay, listen Jessica You obviously listen to the show And so as a woman who listens to the show you are aware of the tremendous pedestal I put on moms who cook and clean and raise their children and things like that So I want you to know that I'm on your side. All right. I am on your side I really am and I don't want you to think just because I'm a chauvinist and I admit that I am I don't want you to think that that's the reason I'm taking your husband's side. It's not it's not the reason I'm taking your husband's side. Jessica listen to me There are rules in life and Rules are there for a reason Standards if you will standards Jessica standards when you make a world famous Jesse Kelly cheeseburger You're not making just any cheeseburger if you want to just any cheeseburger You could have went to McDonald's or jillies or Applebee's or something like that. You wanted something better for you Didn't you isn't that why you make your husband and your children world famous Jesse Kelly burgers Isn't that why you make those burgers Jessica because you care for them? So you care enough to prepare for them the greatest cheeseburger in the history of cheeseburgers But why is the greatest cheeseburger in the history of cheeseburgers the world famous Jesse Kelly burgers? Well the fact that they're supposed to be made one at a time is part of the reason The Jesse Kelly burger is better than any other burger if you start taking away The things that make a Jesse Kelly burger a Jesse Kelly burger then eventually it won't be a Jesse Kelly burger anymore I'm not putting you down you work hard as a teacher and as a mom and as a wife And I'm sorry your husband is having to level with you But he is correct and you are wrong the burgers are Sacred do you know why wedding food sucks every single time you've been to a wedding, right? Every single time the food sucks. Why is that? You've been to a Conference or some kind of a big event to rebank with it's one of those things everyone has to do with me There was a graduation and you've been the food sucks every single time my kids at the end of their sports seasons They have a year-ending Bankwit of some kind every time hey come out with the team and celebrate with the track team And it's fine actually that it's fun It's that you see all the kids and the coaches and they hand out awards and stuff like that, but you know You know going in the food is gonna suck every single time. Why though? Why is it bad at the banquets? Why is it bad at the weddings? because mass-produced food Doesn't get the individual tender loving care that food deserves If I sit on my blackstone griddle and I make four Jesse Kelly burgers will it be faster? Yeah, will it be easier? No question about it But we'll all four of those burgers be cooked to absolute perfection With the cheese melted just the right way the little crust on the outside of the burger Just perfectly No, they will not will there be one of the four that's made perfectly Probably but the one above that when it'll be on a bad spot on the grills and the cheese won't be totally melted The other way the other one you put it on first and up whoops You actually found a little hot spot on there. So that one's a little overcooked and now you're not cheating me Jessica You're cheating yourself And you're cheating your family Jesse Kelly burgers are made one at a time Standards matter in life. All right standards matter in life. What Chris? Could it be my ADHD why I don't cook multiple burgers first I don't have that Chris you in the audience your mean people who say that I have that that's one You should know that about me. My focus is just stay focused. The second thing is That may be part of it if we're being honest. I have had times before where I Got distracted by various other things and ended up burning the buns That's always devastating if you toast the buns and you leave the buns on too long Then your perfect burger is done, but then your bun is burnt So now you got to try to scramble that may that may come into play a small part But still one at a time for busy housewives and individual dudes alike speaking of individual dudes Let's talk about Ukraine for a quick moment. No, it's not gonna be about the war There's a different part of this that I think is fascinating before we get to that. Let's get to this Let's talk about our own country We all want to save it, right? We you talk about saving it. I talk about saving it. How do we save the country? How do we change direction? What do we do? well, there is no saving America unless we save America's testosterone you understand that right the best legislation the best president the best house the best school board the best everything nothing can save the country if Testosterone levels continue on their current trajectory 50% in 50 years we have lost half of America's testosterone in just five decades That is societal collapse. We simply won't be able to make enough babies. We won't be strong enough. We won't be smart enough There are natural ways to turn this around Your tea levels aren't dropping magically. They're dropping because you drink estrogen. It's in the waters Nothing you can do about it. Not your fault what you can do to fight back though is start a male Vitality stack from Chuck not big pharma. No more needles in your dad gone arm Surely there is a solution and chalk has it CHO Q and they have a huge discount during March on Subscriptions so get a subscription and save with the promo code Jesse Chuck comm CHO Q comm promo code Jesse Jesse Kelly show on a Thursday what I'm about to say honestly might be the most offensive thing we've ever done on the show To some people and I know that's saying a lot like I realize I realize that's saying a lot But this one may actually take the cake You know how the whole Ukraine Russia thing is very sad, and it is extremely sad. I know that it's awful Entire generations of men Russians and Ukrainians gone And I know they have a more Eastern way that they look at things like that It's just fascinating Russia. It's always been that way. They just don't give a crap if a bunch of men die They just don't care. It's not something that matters to them So I realized that but I just think it is so sad all those lives gone all those lives gone well, I Think that there is going to be an opportunity here And not that I want it that I want to take advantage of tragedy tragedy here I want you to take advantage of tragedy just stay with me I realized what I'm saying makes me sound like a bad person and I am a bad person but hang with me here in Ukraine They have lost generations of young men gone They still have Generations of young women who are still there Do you remember back in the day Chris and Michael or puppies so they won't remember this but anyone my age or older will remember this Do you remember the mail order bride thing from back in the day Chris? Have you ever even heard of a mail order bride? You know what one is in general, right? Michael Michael's okay They at least know what I'm talking about for those who may not know I On my life. This was a thing You would pick up a magazine people read magazines because it wasn't I'm really not trying to be grandpa Jesse We just didn't have the smartphone thing So you read a physical magazine in the doctor's office, okay? You're sitting in the doctor's office and you'd pick up a magazine and you're just thumbing through a magazine skill in time reading a magazine and You would get to the classified section you would get to the ads section of newspapers and magazines and There would be advertisements in there For men to find a mail order bride. Oh, holy crap. Chris just pulled up a website And he's got it up on my TV in the studio. There are webs of course their websites for it now I'm looking at one right here. It's called mail order brides and they've got some dime on the front and the day You know come get her well This was a thing that was very mainstream back in the day and I'm I don't want to use them Specifically because maybe they specifically didn't take one out, but look I'm you you would pick up a newspaper like The Wall Street Journal and you would read through with the headlines of the day and foreign conflict here And this is a problem there and then you would get back to the classified ads And I don't mean some tiny little corner thing there would be a big ad there and there'd be some you know blonde dime Hey, hell goes in Russia. She's half-starved a death Wouldn't you like to marry her and there would be it was a thing it was a it was a big thing in the day for mail order brides I bet you money somebody is laughing his butt off or in serious trouble right now listening to the sound of my voice Cuz I bet you he's listening to the show with his mail order bride and You should know this It was a very legitimate thing obviously it can be done in very dark ways But I don't judge anyone at all if they did that Women have needs Men have needs women want a husband and safety and security and a lot of dudes are looking for a dime out there Who will support them and care for them and if that's hell go from you know, who's weirdest and that's fine and knock yourself out There's no judge. I'm not judging. I'm really not. You know, I would I'm really not I as I've said before we tried to encourage my Really ugly buddy in the Marines. He could never get a woman We tried to encourage him to marry the Thailand woman that he fell in love with and yeah I mean obviously we made fun of him, but really we all understood buddy. This is your only shot This is really the only shot you've got you better snatch one up from here There's no American girl who's coming along on board for that There's no no American woman would sign up for such a life of hardship, but these time women though accept that all day long Anyway long story short and I realize how terrible this is and I know I'm a bad person. I understand that I Think Think there may be an opportunity from some for some lonely American gentlemen to find a wife there's got to be a Mass quantity of single Ukrainian women Available now and one to move right. I mean you wouldn't want to stick around I what Chris what? Okay, let me push back on that Chris just said they come from Europe. They can't cook obviously I joke about speaking European I've only been I've been to Europe twice and I realize that's two more times than most people have it I joke about being cultured. I don't know anything about culture, but I've been twice. I've been at the Czech Republic Austria Germany and France in Switzerland. Okay, so the I've been to those five countries. I'll be honest Austrian food. I thought it was pretty bad Check food. I thought it was pretty bad Dude German food was really good. It was it was it was really good. No hear me out I understand this is Eastern Europe Chris. You like sausages, right? I mean who doesn't like And no, it doesn't have to be pork sausages. I'm not being mean to Chris I'm not being mean to Jewish producer Chris be you like sausages beef sausage, right? You like onions Do you not like onions? You like cheese? I know you can't eat the beef and cheese together. I realized that I got that You like chocolate you like pastries dude I'm telling you those frickin Germans do all that stuff and they do it really really good now I understand Chris given your background Maybe Germany's not a place you feel like you'd like to land and I understand that completely France is the same type of way now I've never been to Eastern Eastern Europe that part, but I'm sure they have delicious food We saw that thing. I've seen it before that Hungarian cheese bread where they have like a fried egg in there with cheese and stuff in it And anyway a good cook marry a woman whose good cook is such a lie That's such a lie people told marry a woman who wants to be a good cook My wife couldn't cook for anything when we first got married. She just decided she wanted to learn how and now She's a dime. She's dynamite cooking just takes time takes time fellas. Hey Open season hell goes waiting there for you. What Chris? I think this will be fine. We're not gonna get in trouble anyway. We'll be back Tick-tack to a winner a winner Absolutely. We only do winning here on the Jesse Kelly show on a Thursday. Did you hear Joe? Yeah, I was forgot about the Joe Biden what if politics is it makes me laugh sometimes even the horrible parts of it make me laugh sometimes Remember when they tried to pull the stuttering thing about Joe? remember it's we have 30 years of videotape of Joe Biden. It's not like Joe Biden has been on a School board and some remote Eskimo community in Alaska somewhere Joe Biden's but a United States senator and vice president Since time began so he's on video speaking For years and years and years and speaking Clearly no problems whatsoever none not at all and then in one of the great one of the great Campaign lies of all time Joe Biden decides is gonna run against Trump for president and Everyone can see that Joe Biden is not doing well to put it mildly not doing well He's had better days mentally. You can't talk. I can't think you can't and you should know Privately you talk to these people who spoken with Joe Biden privately They say it's so much worse Mike Johnson the speaker of the house He had a private meeting with Joe Biden the other day and Mike Johnson never speaks bad about anyone He's just really one of those guys. He essentially said. I mean, he's a vegetable in person. He doesn't know anything He's no where he is. No anything, right? And so they decided they were gonna try to convince us this guy could be president of the United States because you got our defeat Trump at any cost and all that and they went with the whole He's got a stutter defense And they started telling their various that parartic friends in the media. They started leaking these media stories I think there was an article. Don't quote me on this I think maybe it was in the New Yorker Chris looked that up to see if I'm right about that about Joe Biden and his stutter And it was this long puff piece about how Joe Biden had overcome this childhood Stutter and it was a very obvious ploy by the campaign to cover up for the fact that they were running a guy with dementia Who couldn't talk anymore, but they just say it was at the New Yorker Chris. I was right. I was the yeah It was the New Yorker Joe Biden and his heroic stutter. Well now See this happens with sociopaths like Joe Joe's an infamous liar Honestly, even if you're one of the hate listeners of the show, you know that you're not even mad at me This if you're a hate-listing Democrat, you're not even angry with me. I just said that it's one of those things It's just well known by everybody Joe Biden tells Braze and lies more brazen than anyone else. He just is one of those people who has there's no shame inside of him So he'll just adopt a lie and tell it as if it's true Well Joe Biden takes this campaign talking point about him having a stutter And he's made it part of his personality He just immediately wove it into part of his personality. He was Joe Biden today meeting with some stuttering kid Tell me about you I did too, but don't anybody tell you that you can't do anything. You can do whatever you want to do I find I used to find it hard to talk on the telephone Stand up in front of people and talk These people will make fun of them like this president making fun Remember, you look at me. You're so funny. You're handsome. You know what you're doing Don't let anybody tell you You can do anything Old stutter and Joe just out there relating to the kiddos Let's get to some emails dear disassociated sociopath I know you're a white trash guy with ADHD. I do not have ADHD. I'm fine I know you're a white trash guy with ADHD But surely you have a favorite artist painting or drawing wise I recently visit revisited paintings by Otto Dix Who fought for Germany in World War one is depictions of trench warfare brutal graphic and breathtaking highly recommend who's your favorite artist a Favorite artist Chris who's that guy who sings for the doors Morrison was that Jim Morrison? That's one of my favorites for sure Keith Richards has always been an artist that I've always had a lot of admiration for so probably one of those two guys I would guess probably Jesse all the service except the USMC or what would you say Chris what? You think he meant like a painter Well, I don't know any of those guys. So that's why I brought up Morrison and the other guys I don't know any painters for shell Silverstein. Actually, that's a good one Chris What do you mean who he sounds like you might know him? I think he wrote stuff I think he drew a lot of stuff in Michelangelo and Leonardo and Donatello those guys for sure big big art guys All the services except for the USMC are having trouble making their recruitment goals Situation is so bad the Air Force announced they're accepting back for Tyreese Why not allow all these undocumented aliens with the promise to serve a win-win. No, well, here's what's not understood It's the way they do things that matter and the way they will do things that matter Men have been joining the services to earn their Citizen citizenship earn their American citizenship for a very very very long time shoot I was in the Marines with a few of these guys and they were studs that didn't always obla the best But they were patriotic Love the country would die for it and they knew that on the back end of it. They had some citizenship waiting for them There's a huge difference a huge difference in taking somebody who's come here legally is trying to earn citizenship and Offering them a path to prove their loyalty to this country if they serve it Hand them citizenship. There is a huge difference between that and Telling some illegal who just flooded into the country and he's been living on the taxpayer dime in New York in a New York hotel Telling him that he'll be can be a citizen Have he just does a two-year stretch in the Air Force Why are you there is a huge difference in that and those two things should never happen and again remember this The people who will would implement a policy like that They're all of the worst people in the world The AJHS secretary listen to this guy in his coldness about 400,000 missing illegal kids. What kind of guys you think he would bring to the army recruiters door And there've been about 400,000 of these unaccompanied children that have come to the United States during President Biden's term of office Can you tell us where they are now? We could give you information on the vetting process and no I ask you do you know where they are now as I said to you we can tell you who the vetted sponsors were that received that's not what I asked you 400,000 children children from other countries. Yes, but children are All around us right now. I'm I'm sitting here Houston, Texas One of the human trafficking hubs of the country because it's a port city look whenever you have a port city You're always gonna have more crime. You just are LA New York Houston Go down the Seattle you name it you have a city with a port. You're gonna have more crime We have always been a human trafficking hub. I Guarantee you without us be on the shadow of a doubt within five miles of me right now. There are multiple Children living in hell some kind of horrible conditions that I don't even want to know about kids totally innocent kids the HHS secretary doesn't know And doesn't care where they are These are the people who run America's immigration system those kinds of people are not going to vet Only the best and brightest of the illegals and send them to the military those cut those types of people We'll send the worst of them to the military the worst of them to the military. All right a couple other things headlines I didn't get to then we're gonna get out of here before we get out of here That story I read earlier About private companies coordinating with the DHS FBI for you Private banking for you private phone companies For you, what can you do to protect yourself from that? How do you protect yourself from a corporation that's been Monitoring your phone activity And then hands that activity to the government But how do you protect it? You get a silent bag. That's how A signal blocking fair a day bag. That's what silent silent is spelled s l n t by the way s l n t You have a you have a smartphone when you're not on it. It needs to be in a silent bag You have a laptop when you're not on it. It needs to be in a silent bag Stop this 24/7 surveillance of you and your data and all your information that all the worst People are sharing with each other back and forth get a silent bag 15 off plus free shipping on qualifying orders at silent dot com slash jesse S l n t dot com slash jesse Protect your stuff your data is everything now. It's a treasure. So protect it s l n t dot com slash jesse. We'll be back Is the jesse callee show final segment of the jesse callee show Don't forget if you miss any part of the show you can download the whole thing on iheart google spotify iTunes on itunes leave a five star rating in a review Talking about how handsome i am and also don't forget about the future of american cities Toronto, Canada gave us a little preview Hey, if you're worried about these break ins just leave your key fob by the front For us to become more prominent across the gta Up nearly 25 percent in 2023 from the year prior Now police in york region are out with a new safety tactic Door stops have been handed out to some residents in an effort to prevent door kick break ins to steal car keys There's also updated advice for all vehicle owners a message echoed by toronto police speaking at an atobico safety meeting last month Constable marco ritchie already had a new message for vehicle owners who keep their fobs in faraday pouches To prevent The possibility of being attacked in your home will leave your fobs at your front door because they're breaking into your home to steal your car Just a little preview of of what's to come for us. Also, let's remember this Chuck schumer senate majority leader Publicly on the senate floor that means it's much more official not at some campaign event on the senate floor Chuck schumer got up and called for the ouster of the head of the government of israel Man democrats are really really really concerned about losing micha in this divver critical juncture I believe a new election Is the only way to allow for a healthy and open decision-making process about the future of israel At a time when so many israelis have lost their confidence in the vision and direction of their government Chris said they're going to lose half their funding well listen. They're not going to go all in For gaza for homos. They're going to keep trying to walk the tightrope They understand by now. They're going to lose some jews They're going to lose some muslims that there's nothing they can do to prevent that they know that They're just trying to mitigate those losses and make sure it's not quite that bad, but They have a huge Huge issue with their domestic voting coalition for chuck schumer to shock even other dork senators By calling for the ouster of net and yahoo that is a big big big deal All right We're going to get the headlines. I didn't get to before we get to those i want to remind you that tomorrow Is an ask dr jesse friday? It's your questions emailed in now. It is the time jesse at jesse kelly show dot com ask me anything Also, remember you do not have to live with pain that is a lie Is a lie we have accepted over the years? We either live with pain. Ah my joints hurt. Uh, my muscles hurt my neck or but we either live with it Or we take ibuprofen or something stronger to try to cover it up Well, I'll just have a couple more of these just going to get through the day. Just want to get through my work day Wrecking our bodies for pain relief. You don't have to do that. There is a drug free All natural way and it's called relief factor. You know how anti drug. I am big pharma other than no All natural help your body fight inflammation naturally and live pain free They sell three week quick start kits for $19 in 95 cents. What a difference it is being pain free 1 800 the number four relief or go to relief factor.com. All right. And now Headlines we didn't get to Yellen on inflation upticks the trend is favorable But don't expect this to be a smooth path month to month You notice how they keep telling us they keep giving you all these signals off things are looking good In the long term. Well, I mean, yeah, we're we're certainly trending in the right direction But there there'll be some bumps in the road somewhere These people all know The pain they're bringing down on you and me and they know what's coming And they're going to lie through their teeth until it gets here And then they're going to look around and say nobody knew american airlines bowing 1977 makes an emergency landing at lax Maybe you're rolling your eyes and saying jesse get with the program that was from last week nope This is yet another bowing plane with a huge problem that had to land. I'm telling you It's just the theory. I have no information whatsoever to back this up other than the fact I know this kind of thing happens. I believe that bowing Was penetrated compromised compromised chris. Why don't you grow up? I believe bowing is currently being attacked by a competitor That's what I believe China says tick tock ban Would come back to bite the u.s Come back to bite us. Oh, come on It's the federal government Stepping in to protect us from foreign enemies Not sure how that could ever come back to bite us. I mean look at the patriot act The pentagon promises a clean audit by 2027 as it eyes 849.8 billion dollar budget Hey guys, I don't want you to stress about the trillion plus dollars that got lost Quote lost at the pentagon. I want you to understand they're gonna do an audit In just a few years in a few years from now they're gonna dig in and they're gonna audit and they're gonna take care of things So just keep writing those taxpayer checks. I'm sure everything's on the up and up virgin voyages debuts four-week cruises for remote workers I didn't know that's what we were calling navy deployments now Neil young returning to spotify after joe rogan boycott. I'd almost forgotten that dork Neil young Left spotify because he was mad that joe rogan was on there and well I guess the boy caught only lasted a couple of years and old Neil's coming back No, you don't say hunter biden federal gun trials set for june third. I'd almost forgotten that hunter biden Has a documented felony And I mean It's not up in the air. We all know he committed a felony. You're not allowed to lie on that form He lied on the form. We know he lied on the form It is going to be fascinating to watch him get out get let off with the misdemeanor though Remember all those january six prisoners rn c Sus michigan secretary of state benson over voter role maintenance. No, I'm sure the secretary of state of michigan Is being a little lackadaisical with the voter rules for other reasons? It's certainly not that they want to cheat kamala harris to visit a plan parenthood abortion clinic in minnesota on thursday Definitely not the first one of those she's been to steven a smith says you're smoking crack If you think biden can make it another four years well clearly hunter biden thinks he can make it another four years Canadian law endorsed by truedo government could imprison people for life For speech crimes coming soon to a blue state near you. This has been a podcast from w o r With lucky land slots. You can get lucky just about anywhere. Daily beloved. We're gathered here today Has anyone seen the bride and groom? Sorry, sorry. We're here. We were getting lucky in the limo when we lost track of time No lucky land casino with cash prizes that add up quicker than a guest registry when in that case I pronounce you lucky Life for free at lucky land slots dot com daily bonuses are waiting. 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