The legends are true! Over-building power! The sauce of testing! Yes! The most legendary sauce has arrived! Has McDonald's transformed into the anime world of McDonald's! The greatest flavors unite in all news! Savory chili McDonald's sauce to make your 10-piece with nuggets, fries, and sprites ultra-powerful! Unlock manga comics with every meal and sit down for a new anime short every week only at McDonald's! Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-go! And participating in McDonald's for limited time will supplies last. Live from our studios in Austin, Texas, this is "Drink and Bros. Fate News" with Ross Patterson Dan Holloway Papa G with the Travel How you feel? Not good! Yeah? You're the real reporter hot-buh! And Delco Dan with sports! Welcome to "Fake News"! Yeah! Welcome to "Drink and Bros. Fate News"! Everybody bringing you the realest! "Fake News News" from over the weekend. We'll start with some real news here. Just got back from Los Angeles and I'm looking at this bro box. Oh my god, dude. What a thing of beauty here, Anthony. Oh yeah. God damn this rocks, man. Holy shit! It's even got the logos on the back for RDF and "Drink and Bros." Got our lovely faces on it. They knocked it out of the park there. Currently in negotiations, I would say. With the winner from the bro box to go to Olive Garden with us. Did he negotiate his wife coming to? Is that what I'm hearing? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're not negotiating that part. We're just figuring out what dates. Okay. I didn't know. If she said, "Hey, this is going to get too fucked up." No, no, no, no. She's into it. Okay. They just got to find people to watch the kids once we figure out a date. But yeah, the first thing is going to be his birthday weekend, which is in May, which kind of works out. I've got to talk to Jared about it, but I'm pretty sure we're going to be here. And then the other one is, apparently, there's this fucking event in Kyle, Texas every year. I think it's in June. Yeah. And it's like a gathering of Kyle's people. His name is Kyle. People named Kyle travel to Kyle, Texas to have some big fucking festival. Shh, that's the fuck up. I love Kyle, Texas, by the way. I don't know anything about it. It's great. It's right down by Buda. I was just there for favorite brands. I remember with our distributor here in Texas down there how to meet and greet with those guys. I love Kyle. Did you crack open a first form? Yeah. This is a new flavor for first form energy. Is it orange? Orange sunrise, it's called. Yeah. Damn. All right. Way to go first form. Big fans here. Crazy, crazy fucking weekend across the board here. News-wise, off the charts. I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. You'll worry about doing a daily show that you're not going to have enough news in the day. It's just fucking endless. Every single goddamn day. It feels like the entire world is against Donald Trump here. And I'm never saying anything like it. Did you see that they wouldn't bond them out? Yeah. I don't know if that's on the news today. It's not just popped up this morning, but it's nuts. Yes, it's fucking weird. The whole fucking thing, man. I don't think I've ever seen an entire world against one guy except for like Napoleon or something. But it'll be interesting to see. Obviously you saw the title here and we'll get into it. But first, you know the rules for these Monday shows. We got the memes of the weekend here. What are we leading off with, Anthony? Let's see. This first one is called yellow. Oh boy. Yeah, we're going to get right into it. Okay. I already know where this is going here. You think you do. What does the words say underneath this video, Bob? When we refer to someone as yellow. Okay. Yeah. Didn't we refer to someone as yellow? He considered them to be what? Chinese? Not Chinese. Over to Jerry and Murray. No. Yes, Jerry. Um, tell of me. Tell of me is correct. Oh, fuck off. It was an Asian kid. Is that a real video? Oh yeah. It's from a game show in the UK back in the 70s. No fucking way, dude. You're welcome for that. Wow. Obviously. And then the Asian kid got it correct. Of course he did. Uh, that's right. That was an old term during like, uh, Wild West days. What are you, yellow? We were all yellow. That's what he was talking about. Right. I think. That's what I think, right? Yeah. That the Asians were cowards or the Chinese were cowards. I don't remember, man. Either way, we've got a new definition now. Yeah. And it's definitely Chinese. So. I think it's Chinese. It's a long and today's game show. What do we got up next? Uh, this next one is called racist parrots. Oh boy. It's, you know, some, some, we have themes every week. Okay. This week is racism. Sure. For the most part. Sure. Uh, and this is a picture of Joaquin Phoenix as the Joker running down the streets. And above it, it says me leaving PetSmart after teaching all the parrots. It's the end word, which is great. It's possible. I think, uh, it's just their civic duty. Yeah. You got to teach them something. Yeah. You don't want quiet parrots. No, you sure don't. These, these parrots, I think we're in the south side of Chicago as well. Yeah. That's helpful. Yeah, it is. Um, next up, we've got, uh, Haitian cookout. Oh fuck, dude. Is it a barbecue? Sort of. Okay. Okay. When your Haitian friends invites you to the cookout, and it's the, uh, Air Force member, Aaron Bushnell on fire there, which is pretty on the nose. Uh, pretty amped about that. Yeah. How's Haiti doing these days? Uh, they're in full blown civil war now. Good. The police launched over, I think on Saturday they launched, uh, a major operation to, uh, get barbecue out of the way. But now there's a slight. Haiti did or we did. Haiti. Okay. You sure? Uh, no, but it's, they're bulls on parade right now. And essentially they're just having like, um, machete fights in the street and shit. Why not? I mean, it's like Mad Max over there. It's trending right now. Machete's. Is that what it is? Yeah. Oh boy. We're on Patreon. We can't, we can't show people getting sliced up. Are they showing it on Twitter? Probably. Yeah. Bob, we're getting me. Machete was trending right before we went on air. Was that what it is? People getting domed on Twitter all the time. We saw barbecue getting cooked and eaten. Yeah. Cooked and eaten. Um. Oh, fuck. Yeah. There's some wild ass shit on here. Okay. Look for the machete. Find your favorite one, Bob. See if there's one that tickles your fancy won't pop it up later. Oh, this guy just walking through the show. Oh, fuck. That's the one. That's the one, Bob. I don't know. That's Haiti. That's like that scene for Pacquitz. Show it anyways. Now where he fucking gets the cow and chops it in the butt. Oh boy. And then he pepper sprayed it for good measure. Did you see that shit? Yeah. Who the fuck shows up at pepper spray as a guy that just got ran over by a car? For the audio listeners, there's a guy walking down the street with a machete. They're beating his ass. And a car fucking trucks him going 60 so it isn't a hack up these people. I like it. The guy gets up, uh, is pepper sprayed and then they're still trying to kick the shit out of him. The math is this guy on the good kind. Damn it, man. Yeah, he's carrying a machete. He might as well hit him. Yeah, he's free game. Free game. I agree with you. These look like honkeys here. Uh, yeah, this feels like or dippers somewhere in Florida. Yeah. They dippers are honky. This could just be an ordinary weekend in Florida could be could be either way. This guy's impossible to take down. Fuck. He's still going. Jesus Christ. This is why he's subscribed to Patreon. What the fuck, bro? This guy's unstoppable. Still going. Still fucking go. Oh, clip by another car, dude. Look it. Oh, is that the same guy or is he wearing a hat? Not sure. Why'd you go down? Not sure. I like it though. Uh, what do we got him next? Danthony. Oh, me and shit. I got lost. I said it. Dude, get killed. Damn. Oh, this next one's called overcooked. Overcooked. Yeah, it's the fourth one, Bob. Overcooked. Holy shit. Yeah, yeah. He was white, went to sleep and he woke up black. They were supposed to go to the fire. Now, I understand it. I understand it. I'm a big fan there. Uh, what do we got up next? Uh, let's see. We got the five hole. The up next, this one's for you, actually. Me? It's called USA. Thank you. Thank you. The guy who's shit my fucking toilet. Ha! Plumber, I finally unclogged your toilets. Card declines. Plumber. Just fucking dumping out right in it, dude. Clogged it back up. Yeah, USA is, they're canceling my fucking insurance, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah. Because you've been talking so much shit? Probably. Um, they just said, "Hey, we can't allow this," whatever. And I was like, "Because the guy's shit in my toilet, I've got one of those, you know, child cams there. He's on the fucking can." Well, he went in there. They're really canceling your insurance. Yeah, that's true. That's where to go. How did they? I got a letter. I just got home and I got a fucking letter. It's just a letter in the mail. No phone call, no nothing. It just says, "As of April 4th, we're canceling your home insurance." Okay. I feel like we need to put that phone call on the show. Oh, I'd love to. Yeah. Because a lot of our users, a lot of our listeners use USA. Yeah, that's serious. I've got a call with State Farm this week, okay, to replace it. But I got a, I just got a letter in the mailbox. And... Did they find out your grandfather wasn't actually military? He was. All of them. All of them were. They revoked it 'cause he was stealing valor. Yeah. Could they imagine? It was like a Gronk situation where they were like, "Hey, dude, you're a liar." No, it was, no lie, it was over that fucking incident. And I think because I've talked about it so much, USA has pissed off about it. And oh, well, I like, "Hey, dude, I told you, you were there for broken pipes. I told you all the pipes were out. You came for broken pipes and you broke our hearts." You sure did. By taking an upper decker and a non-functioning toilet. Yeah. What's mad at with you? God damn it, man. I wish I could remember that guy's name. Dave. We said it on the show last time. Yeah. Something. Well, we'll think about it, maybe I'll call him back on the show, USA, and just say, because I did document it in the emails back so I can just pull up the emails and read them. It'd be fun 'cause the guy was like, "No, that was probably your contractor. No, it was you who took a shit up there. We got the nanny cam footage. All right? Yeah, fuck." I think we should put it on Patreon. Oh, that footage of him, ah, great. All I have is him walking in and out of the bathroom. I don't have him dumping out. If you would have left the door open, it would have been great. Holy shit. What do we got in number six? This one's called "Disable the Music." Disable the music. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. I know where we're going. Bob, read it out. Well, there are two pictures and on the left it says, "Music," and then it's like a computer screen, right, where you click, whatever. It's called a radio button. Radio button. Okay. It's music. It's disabled, it's clicked, and it's got some guys playing trumpet, some trumpet players. Sure. And then you go down below and it says, "Music," you're able to disable, you click, "Disabled" and it has some mentally impaired gentlemen performing music. Down syndrome. They're playing music. They're playing system of a down syndrome. Probably. I guess. I don't know. That'd be the name of their band. Can't hear it. Yeah. System of a down syndrome. Yeah, man. I'm a fan of it. What's this account? Damned shitposts. Oh. Okay. I know them, actually. Fuck yeah. Way to go, guys. Yeah. This next one's called Double Handicap. And it's kind of a longer form sketch, so just shout out the creator before we started here. Double. Oh, boy. We've done them before. Yeah. This paid vacation comedy. Yeah, paid vacation comedy. Really funny. And this is there. I think it's the super racist podcast. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's on YouTube, I think, and TikTok, but I think they keep getting banned on TikTok for obviously, because that's really a clan uniform. Wow. I mean, we didn't even get it started and the guy's in a clan uniform already. Go ahead and play it. So you are in a wheelchair, huh? Yeah. And you're a woman. Yeah. Damn. Talk about a double handicap. Geez. So what do you do? You just kind of ski-boop around town? Is that what you do? It's kind of like a room where that bleeds once a month. You bring a lot to the table. I can tell. Like your own chair. You do, you know? And you hold like an aura about you. You know? I bet you brought up every room that you go into, especially when you hit that thing in reverse and your tail lights go on. Beep, beep. Real big bitch coming through. Watch your toes, fellas. So when you go to the gynecologist, you go to a regular gynecologist, you go to like Jiffy Lube. I did notice that you are a red-headed woman as well. So I do want to ask, you know, does the carpet match the rims that you got on? What's the protocol on that one? That's me hawking. Why don't you tell me that? What would you say is the hardest part about being a woman in a wheelchair besides having a parallel park? What would be the, I guess, second hardest? Wow, dude. And they have got the Confederate flag. Did they have a sponsor? Who's in the middle? Is that ground up? Oh, if they do. It's armor all. So sometimes they have like believable ads that they put in there. So I'm not sure if they are advertised or not. I'm sure armor all is super amped to be included into that sketch, you know? And that's just based on us, obviously over the years, losing a sponsor here or theirs. I think that's honestly the funniest part of the sketch is just a little. All of it. All of it's great. All the way across the board. I think it's just that little sponsor right there. Yeah, just. Oh. Armor all sponsored this. Great. Good for you guys. Holy shit, dude. Big fan. What's the name of these guys? Paid vacation comedy. Yeah. Big fan. Big fan. Yeah. Next is cost. Cost. But like while you'll see, look at that. New Pixar movie. Big star movie about the Holocaust and they got a, it looks like John Hamm is playing Hitler. Yes. And all the kids are having a good time there. And he's wearing gray too. So you, I mean, probably see his hog. Yeah. He'll probably hang dong in the movies. I'm saying. There's not a whole lot of full frontal nudity in movies about Hitler. Oddly enough. No. And the Holocaust movies there is though, because they made them all get naked. Yeah. I mean, but just like the Jews. Right. Not the Germans. Right. Right. You haven't seen Hitler's dick much. Does anybody have Hitler's dick? What do they end up doing with the body? You'd have to ask Tim Kennedy about that. Okay. Because Hitler definitely escaped to South America. And lived there for the remainder of his life. 40 years probably. I thought he got lit up in a movie theater by like a hundred rounds. That's a second time today you pretended that your life is a movie. Yeah. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go. That's a glorious bastard. Yeah. And now it's a glorious bastard. You're going to have to fucking ease your way back into reality. It's Monday. Okay. The weekend's over. It's not. March Madness starts tomorrow. That's true. Yeah. This whole fucking month. It's also women's history month or whatever the fuck. So that's not real. No. Sure isn't. So there is none. Sure isn't. Yeah. Can we go back and amend the Constitution and take that out? Well, we did. We'll have to re-amend it. This suffrage happens. It'll be like the 21st Amendment. Right. The 21st Repeals Prohibition. Yep. Repeals the 19 are the... Wait, which was prohibition? The 20th? The 18th. The 18th. Yeah. The 19th is women's suffrage. The 20th is something else. Yeah. I'd like to get that out of there. Um... Let's get that out. We got some female listeners on the show. This next one's called the Stephen Hawking Self Defense System. Perfect. Holy shit. I didn't know they had wheelchair karate. You can only do arm movements though. Jesus Christ, it's Jason Bourne. That's super fucked up, man. I mean, that's all they can do is use their arms. Well, for bilateral, yeah. We calling them bilaterals now? Yeah. Is that what it is? I mean, you could be. That's a paraplegic, right? Yes. So... Yeah, they're not full fucking quad. No, they're not. She's not full quad. That's a full quad. She would just be blinking very aggressively. Does she win? I don't know. I guess it depends on how intimidated you are by blinking. It depends on who it is. Yeah. It out. If it's her, sure. That's a dumb shit I've ever seen in my life, by the way. Ever. I don't even know why we're doing that. And it's... Look, it's great. You can do all this stuff with your arms, but uh... There's no need to put it on TV. No. And then you're just one kick away from that whole thing ending. I'll fight that woman for charity. Just a kick. All you have to do is kick her chair over and you win. She's not getting up. Max over! I don't know. I think I would sneak around behind her, grab her by the ponytail and just like... Winger around. Just whipper. Yeah. Throw her through the fucking window. She could hit the brakes though and reverse it. I wouldn't even risk it. Not when she's in the air. I'm just what I was gonna do. You expecting to get lift off? Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right. What do we got next? This last one is called This Song Isn't Racist. This song isn't racist, okay? And who's this group? Oh, yeah. What's the name of these guys? It's two guys. Will Rubio and Matt Mattson. Okay. Press play here. Pretty racist. Oh, no, no. I'm racist. No. This is about you being a bad roommate. You put the toilet paper up backwards. You never take your shoes off when you come in the house and you were born in a different country than I was. Um, actually I wasn't born in Miami close enough. But you hold the remote. You have dirty Spanish blood corsets through your veins. Are you listening to what you're sending? Wait. Is that how old racism is? Yeah. So definition of racism. I'm a racist. That's not a good thing, man. Oh, I'm a racist. Get the hell out. It's a big racist. Oh, no, no, no. Have you noticed that like so many comedy troops that have non-whites and them are just going fully racist now? It's super funny. It's awesome. Yeah. It's like we're doing comedy again. We're talking about Rappaport earlier. How he's like trolling bipartisan again, he's just trolling everybody again, which is when he was funny. Yeah. When he like got Trump derangement syndrome, it was just like painful to watch for a while. Now he's making fun of it. Make fun of Trump all you want. Call him pig-dicking shit. That's fine. But make fun of Biden too. And now he's like doing it to everybody. Yeah. And it's funny again. That's all we wanted. That's all we wanted. That's all we wanted. Just fuck with everybody. That's it. All the time. The Jewish video that leaked the other day. That was really funny. Yeah. They say Jewish and Zionist and all that shit. But where did watermelon come from? Don't know. It's like, I'll throw watermelons at them like that. No, that's a Palestinian thing. Really? Yeah. They weren't allowed to show the Palestinian flag or something in Israel or around there. Anyway, they used watermelons, like cartoons of watermelons. Oh, God. It's the same colors. You're kidding. That's retarded. Jesus Christ. We live in the dumbest period of human history. It's getting worse too. That's getting worse. Including this top story here. It's a bloodbath out there. It's going to be a bloodbath. This election season has all the bloodbath. We spoke last week about the legacy media and their continuance of being completely full of shit. Well, they're at it again and it's directly a Trump again. Stop me if you've heard this one during a campaign event. A few days ago, Trump was discussing how leftist basically fuck everything up and said there would be a bloodbath if he wasn't reelected. Of course, liberals like Joe Scarborough, that's it. And Nancy Pelosi and every other major media outlet focused on the word bloodbath and are actively trying to convince their viewers that he meant political violence. Bob, if you want to click on Pelosi's comment there on CNN, that'd be swell and then we'll play the actual speech of what happened here. I'm surprised she's still alive. Well, she's a billionaire, so yeah, I guess he's even predicting a bloodbath. What does that mean? He's going to exact a bloodbath. There's something wrong here. How respectful I am of the American people and their goodness. But how much more do they have to see from him to understand that this isn't what our country is about? Praising Hitler, praising the rush because he's even... Hitler. I mean, had nothing to do with that speech. Praising Hitler. Nothing. Yeah. And then she liked that speech. The language she used, saying he was threatening to exact violence or exact a bloodbath. Not even close. No. Right? No. So I guess let's watch the full video. It's the next link there. And you can see exactly what he's saying. He's saying that the car industry's fucked because China is building factories in Mexico. And under the current regulations that Biden have allowed, they'll be able to sell those essentially tariff-free into the US and completely fuck the US automotive industry, right? Oh, and it... Which is like all of upstate South Carolina would be wiped out because they have all the BMW shit there, right? And then Charleston as well. Michigan, I mean, there's so many places that depend on making automobiles. Not only that, but I think people underestimate that freight, right? So usually when they're making them out of China, then they got to ship them over here. It's costly to ship the cars over here. If you're able to put plants in Mexico, one, you can keep the workers very, very cheap. Same as China. Then you don't have to pay the freight all the way over to America for all these fucking cars. Yeah, it would wipe out the fucking auto industry here. Play his actual speech, Bob. Mexico has taken over a period of 30 years, 34 percent of the automobile manufacturing business in our country. Think of it. Went to Mexico. China now is building a couple of massive plants where they're going to build the cars in Mexico and think, they think, that they're going to sell those cars into the United States with no tax at the border. Let me tell you something to China. If you're listening, President Xi and you and I are friends, but he understands the way I deal, those big monster car manufacturing plants that you're building in Mexico right now, and you think you're going to get that, you're going to not hire Americans, and you're going to sell the cars to us now, we're going to put a 100 percent tariff on every single car that comes across the line, and you're not going to be able to sell those cars. If I get elected -- now, if I don't get elected, it's going to be a bloodbath for the whole -- that's going to be the least of it. It's going to be a bloodbath for the country. It'll be the least of it, but they're not going to sell those cars. You can cut it there. So he's obviously talking about the political repercussions, political and economic repercussions if Biden gets another term. That's clearly what he's saying. If you don't like -- even Stephen A. Smith was on Twitter last night, like, yeah, he definitely wasn't threatening anybody. No. And, you know, I mean, come on, man, this is the dumbest shit of all time, but they're going to make the point that, you know, I mean, it's like the fallback. They start off with misrepresenting what he said, and then they say, yeah, but the language he's using is inflammatory. Oh, that's a good point. Like that point, actually. Let's look at a couple of videos. Five days ago, MSNBC used the term bloodbath to describe people being fired from the RNC. Bob, you want to click that link? Did they really? You don't say here. Let's go ahead and play that video. That could haunt the GOP, Donald Trump's allies have now ordered mass layoffs at the Republican National Committee. It comes just days after Trump's allies, including his daughter-in-law, took command of the RNC. Headlines calling it a, quote, "bloodbath," and a, quote, "mob-like takeover," with more than 60 officials, including senior staff members, laid off -- All right, Kelly, so bloodbath, mob-like takeover, political violence, right? Here's Biden using the same language about Bernie Sanders in 2020, actually, on Twitter. Really? And it's, you know, the funny thing is they went after Trump for using the word bloodbath all over the place. And you can just go to any of these -- if you see any of these leftist retards going after Trump for using the phrase bloodbath, go to their Twitter profile and just search the word bloodbath. And the guarantee is going to pop up in their timeline of them saying it within the last couple of years. Easily. Anyway, there's Biden saying it -- Biden warns against primary bloodbath as Sanders sharpens attacks ahead of key contests. And then there's Joe Scarborough again, who was talking all that shit. I guess he forgot the internet was forever. And Iamask found a tweet of him using the phrase as well. There it is. And then he deleted his whole fucking tweet afterwards. He did. And then he went on air this morning. I don't know if you saw that. So January 6 was -- Donald Trump's America and he's proud of it. January 6 was not a bloodbath by any definition and Trump was referring to job losses here at the plant. Scarborough not only deleted it, but then he went on air this morning and said, "I knew what he meant, Trump, and you guys think I'm an idiot and you're all the fucking -- get a fucking meltdown on live air this morning here." I don't get it. We'll go to the -- I'm going to skip one and come back to this here. I don't understand why everybody on the left is using everything within their power to try to take down one guy. I've never seen anything like this in the history of our country. For one dude. Have you seen the meme where it's like the crowd of dummies and a thought cloud over the top and you can just put whatever word in it you want? These people are fully captured by whatever it is, Trump deranged syndrome or let's call it manufacturing consent, which we've talked about for the last couple of years on this show and how people's brains are just programmed to fucking behave that way now. But why him? I don't remember this with anyone. Because he's a threat to the status quo. So every -- I've told -- I've said this for fucking years, right, since the very beginning of the Trump presidency, the aristocracy will protect itself before they'll protect any principle, any political party, any of that shit. It's the first time in American history that you've seen a wildly popular politician, especially at the federal level, be attacked from both sides consistently, right? It's the first time we've ever seen anything like this before. And that's why, because he is a threat to the aristocracy and they know it. But the wild thing is to me -- So as much as I fucking dislike him, I do, because I think he's a knucklehead. I'll vote for him no matter what. Yeah. Because fuck all these people. Right. Just to throw a fucking wrench into the goddamn spokes, bike spokes. Yeah. Same, obviously. But, I mean, this has been going on forever. And I can understand if when he was president of the United States, it was a fucking disaster. Right? If we had an economic collapse or he fucking nuked a country or something else, none of that happened. No. It was the richest we've ever been. We didn't go to any fucking wars. Our trade deficit with China was the best it's ever been. Unemployment, best unemployment and housing for black people, best inflation was 8% cumulative over four years, which is, well, that's well better than anybody's done in a -- 12% lower than anybody in our lifetime. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't get it. If it was like a -- I don't know, man, like some crazy war, something got fucked up. Even Bush, man. Remember when Bush got reelected in 2004? That was, it was shocking to me that George -- I mean, if it wasn't -- if he -- if he hadn't been running against Lurch in a serial philanderer who left his wife while she was dying of fucking cancer, maybe he would have lost, I guess, I don't know, to be honest. But like the fact that when Bush won in 2004, I was like, "Holy shit, the fuck is going on here?" They really wanted that Iraq war. That's what it really was. They were worried that a liberal would come in and end it. Like, all these fucking leftists now that say they were against the Iraq war back in the day, like Hillary Clinton, she voted for it every time. All those fucking status people voted for it. So that's what they want. That's why he got elected. Unclear, though, on why -- like, why anybody -- I don't know, I kind of feel like the support of Biden is fake. It is. But I mean, I just -- I've never seen this against one human being. I mean, I'm even trying to think of like an athlete. I guess O.J. Simpson, like, I don't -- who else is that polarizing, I guess? Yeah, but like, it's not just a person who's hated by a lot of different people. It's somebody who's beloved by a lot of people and then hated by two very disparate political groups. Right. Like, O.J. killed two people. Yeah, that's a very different thing. But O.J. was loved by the black community, right? He was. So they supported him, even though he said, "I'm not black, I'm O.J." Which is true. Like, he routinely abandoned that community, but they saw it as a get back, I guess, for some of the other shit that was going on, which is kind of fucking stupid, to be honest. I guess so. And that'll lead us into the Fanny Willis story. "Fanny! Ow! Fanny! Why?" By the way, is she changing her name to Fawny? I've heard MSNBC host, CNN host, call her Fawny for the last few days. Oh, no. Look, sometimes when your product gets fucked up, you got to rebrand, you know what I mean? Now this one. Not sure if changing your first name is going to get the trick done, though. No, this one, though. This is another one where I -- oh, man, I'll go back to that 2020 election. I would've bet my entire fucking house that this woman would've gotten thrown out of there. And it did not happen to everybody's shock, where it was like, "Huh?" Fanny Willis, the Fulton County District Attorney, can prosecute Donald Trump on charges that he interfered with Georgia's 2020 election, now that a special prosecutor with whom she had a romantic relationship has withdrawn from the case. That was from the judge. That was the judge's order of, "Hey, get your lover off the case, and we'll let you try it." Forget about spending 700K on trips and a relationship that you lied about and got caught during perjury and all that other shit. Forget all that. Just get rid of that, dude, and then we'll go business is huge here. He also donated to her campaign, by the way. But the long-term impacts of the allegations of impropriety that have roiled the case for weeks remain to be seen, with Trump and his allies certain to continue to attack the legitimacy of the prosecution against the former president and 18 others. Fulton County Superior Court Judge Scott McAfee, that piece of shit, ruled Friday. That Willis could stay on, special prosecutor Nathan Wade left, was a partial victory for Willis, whom defense attorneys had pushed to have removed due to the relationship with Wade, but the judge also rebuked Willis for her tremendous lapse in judgment and questioned the truthfulness of Wade's and her testimony about the timing of the relationship. Now I read that, and then I heard this judgment. If he's got any inkling that there was, she wasn't being truthful, he wasn't being truthful in any of this, which the receipts and the text messages and all that showed. Even when he got on the stand and said they paid for half the trips and she was paying a backing cash, and then he only said, "Well, it was a few hundred dollars." I don't know how you get to the rest of the 700K together after $1,500. This is crazy to me, but this is fucking nuts to me. I don't get it. But if you're in that courtroom, and let's say this trial does go on and you're in the jury, how do you believe anything this woman's saying? It doesn't even, sure that's part of it, I guess, but this trial, should it go to actual trial now, and I'm not convinced it will, will be a, Fannie Willis will be on trial. Not Trump. Right? During this. Yeah. If I'm the defense attorney, every time I go to cross-examine somebody, I'll be like, "Hey, this prosecutor is a fucking retard. Yep. Are we seriously doing this?" And I just go sit down. To me, this says that they know there's no possibility of a conviction here, right? And instead of bringing on a new DA, a new special prosecutor, who's a DA, and ruining their political career, this guy had let her take this hit and then fuck off somewhere. I think that's probably what they're doing here. I guess. The other thing that I read, and Bob, you can pull this up, is she up for election this fall? I think she might be on the ballot this fall. I believe, I don't know who's running against her, truthfully. It could be anybody. I mean, it's Atlanta, so it's going to be a Democrat. Oh, I'm sure. And I'm sure... Probably a black Democrat. They'll be black, yeah. She assumed office, yeah, so if it's a four-year term, she would be running again this year. Okay, running again this year. So what happens then, if this trial doesn't end up going, and it's kind of in limbo there, and then she doesn't get elected? I mean, anybody... If you're a Democrat, and if you're a Democrat attorney, even if you're like a partner at a fucking law firm somewhere, and you live in Fulton County, run against her and just run her own testimony as paid advertising the whole time. That's all you gotta do. And you can win. You'll win. You'll win. You'll win. I mean, Jesus Christ. The second most corrupt, obvious politician in the country, that black lady mayor in Illinois is pretty rough too. Yeah. Going north to Chicago, that's just like, apparently, there's more stuff that's come out about her. She spent like a million bucks on private security. This isn't like a big city either. It's like, she's just fleecing this fucking town and then calling people racist when they call her out on it. Wow. Well, Fannie Wells is still pretty bad too. So hold on, I found it, she's facing challengers in Fulton County, Christian Wise Smith, who ran against her four years ago, is challenging her in the primary. Let's see who this fucking... Wouldn't the primaries be over? We just had all the primaries here. It depends. It depends. Some of them are in June, actually, Bob. The Democratic primary election for the position is in May and the generals in November. Okay. So is she being primary? Yes. She is. Who tried to primary her last time and then... Well, he's got a better shot this time. Then there's a Republican female, Courtney Kramer, who is a Trump White House counsel person. Really? Yeah. Interesting. On the ballot. For the primary? Probably the only Republican on the ballot to be honest. Let me ask you this then. Oh no, there's another. Mike Roman is another Republican that's running. And he's... Oh no, he's just involved in it, yeah. Mike Roman was the guy that's found out about the relationship. Courtney Kramer is the Republican. Interesting. And she... To be honest, if I'm the Trump campaign, probably giving her some money. Yeah. Just to run. Just to fuck with Fannie Willis. I would probably... Well, I mean, look. So let's say she loses the primary, then. Is she off the case? Yes. Oh no. No. So the inauguration would be in January. So she would be on the case until she was out of office, theoretically, right? No shit. That'll be a fun one to watch. What day in May, does it say? I didn't see that. I'll keep an eye on it, because I would imagine every Republican is gonna come out and vote for this. Fulton County's huge, too, by the way. It's not a small county, that's my county. No, I mean, Buckhead's still in Fulton County for now. Buckhead is, so is Alfredo Roswell. I could see if Christian Smith isn't able to unseat her in the primary, I could see her losing that life. How crazy would that be? A fucking Republican DA at Atlanta. It'd be crazy. That'd be wild. Fucking funny as shit. And then that'll lead us into the next story here regarding Donald Trump. Donald Trump faces having New York property seized after failing to pay in the $454 million fraud case. Donald Trump has been ordered to pay $454 million in a civil fraud case brought by the state of New York. That's another one there. That piece of shit, Latisha James, and the state's attorney general has warned she will seize his assets if he doesn't pay up. I think the, I think a higher court is about to get involved in this. That's what I was gonna ask, because right now, the warning comes from Latisha James, who presented the case, says she's ready to seize the property. If Trump cannot produce the money, judge Arthur Engeron ruled that Trump had been dishonest about his wealth over many years while creating his successful real estate empire despite the ruling. Trump denies any wrongdoing and wants to contest the decision. Now, here's the issue here is they only gave him 30 days to come up with his bond. Well, the bond is $84 million. This whole trial was bullshit anyways. This was the same judge that valued Mar-a-Lago. It's $18 million, which is fucking crazy. It's probably with a parking lot cost. And so now they want him to pay up for this. They're also warning that New York State could put a padlock on Trump Tower and experts, according to raw story news, whatever the fuck that is, says that Donald Trump is at his next to last step from ruin now. That's retarded. I agree. But they're saying that they've gone to 30 different places for this bond, and they haven't been able to get it yet. Do you believe that? Or do you believe these people are just against Trump? No, they're definitely trying to hose him. I mean, there's no question about that. I think that's pretty obvious. If I was him, I would hire private security and put him in front of that and get into a fight with cops, frankly. This is agents of the state trying to fucking fuck you out of millions of dollars, right? And also try to influence a federal election. To me, this is just state tyranny, and I would fucking fight it with violence if I had to, if I was him. Yeah. Let's see here. It says it would look like Tish James, I don't know who Tish James is, figuratively speaking, putting a big New York State padlock on Trump Tower, for example. How does she being Latisha James, how the fuck you pronounce that name, extracts the value from it? Does she put it on the market? Does the state actually take possession of it and convert it to a state-owned property? I don't understand why he hasn't sued them in a higher court yet. Or maybe there is some issue going on there. Yeah, there's a ton. If that's the case, then why hasn't a federal judge issued a stay in this case? This is the most obvious legal corruption case I've seen in my life. But they haven't. I mean, New York, it would have to come from New York, right? It would come. What is that? The first district? It's federal. It's all liberal. So they're not going to fucking do it. New York. It is the Southern District, no, no, no, no, that's the district court. What's the fucking federal court, asshole? Anyways, yeah, I don't know. To be honest, that's a second circuit. Yeah, I wouldn't, like, I would fight this with every fucking ounce of energy I had. Like this is fucked. I mean, this is like, if somebody, if you were running in a local election or something, right? And somebody had like the district attorney coming after you like this for civil suits and then tried to liquidate all of your assets locally, like including your home, including your home, I would fucking stand out in front of that place with a fucking gun and come get it, bitch, right? Like this is completely fucked. So we'll see how it goes, I guess. Trump's attorneys claim that they've spent countless hours negotiating with one of the largest insurance companies in the world and they've also unsuccessfully asked 30 other companies to back the bond. The amount of the judgment with interest exceeds $464 million and very few bonding companies would consider a bond of anything approaching that magnitude, which is also why I think they specifically went after this. And I think also this judge and Slatesha James colluded in the fact that like, all right, what's the number that the insurance, an insurance company just couldn't reach? And then that's exactly what they came to. Kirschner added that the news is a sign that Trump's claim of being in possession of 14 billion in assets was likely a lie. I don't think that's a lie. Of course, how much does Trump Tower's got to be worth? Fuck, man. I mean, you're a prime real estate in New York City. Yeah. I don't know. How much does Trump Tower worth, Bob? Is there an estimate on it? Because even that, couldn't you just put one tower up against for the bond or fuck, I don't know how that works. Again, I've never seen anything like this in my life, so I don't even know where to begin with something like this. I'm just curious how much they value Trump Tower then. Mar-a-Lago is 18 million. Trump Tower's worth. Independent realtors say Mar-a-Lago is worth somewhere between $1.2 and $1.5 billion. Right. And then what this golf course is and everything around the world? Almost 100 times more than what the court said. Right, right. Why, man? The only thing I'm seeing is Trump Tower was valued at $371 million in 2017. Kids, we got some sponsors that put this shit wagon on the air. Thanks and foremost, go to spit.com/drinkinbros, 50% off. Everything in the entire store that's pillows, sheets, mattresses, adjustable bases, mattresses for RVs, all of it is 50% off. All their mattresses are now made in the good old U.S. of A. They got a new line-outs with Venus Williams over there. That new line of RV mattresses is awesome. 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Next up, we got firstform.com/drinkinbros talking about those micro factors, dog. Come on. This is where you get rid of all the vitamins, all those fucking jars, dude, that are lined up in your medicine cabinet or on your kitchen counter. You had to count it out and it's like, "Oh, dude, get them onto my vitamins and I get my fruits and veggies and all this stuff." Yeah, dude. You can get rid of it. No need anymore. Firstform's got a beautiful little cardboard box, the trap door on it that opens up. The vitamins come out in a little packet, 30 packets per box, and it's the perfect dietary supplement here. What's in it? Well, you got the antioxidants, the CoQ10s, the multivitamins, fruits and veggies, probiotics and EFAs, taking every single goddamn day. That's why I sit next to my desk. It's a nice little reminder, "Hey, dummy, take your fucking vitamins because let's face it." We all don't work out the way we need to or eat the way we want to every single day. However, it is important to get the best vitamins in your system every day. You can get them over at firstform.com/drinkinbros. While you're over there, check out their protein sticks, those breakfast ones are amazing to do, those breakfast sausages, and their energy drinks are best in the biz. The Danthany's been drinking them all fucking day over here. Huge fan of firstform.com/drinkinbros. Right now, you're getting free shipping on orders over $75 over there, and I can promise you, once you start loading up that cart, that's a hell of a savings. Next up, we got ExpressVPN.com/drinkinbros. Going online without ExpressVPN is like changing. While leaving your window wide open, you might not have anything to hide, but why give random creeps a chance to invade your privacy? Why does everybody need a VPN? Because everybody's watching what you do. They're buying up your data, sending it out to everybody else, getting weird phone calls, weird ads sent to you on your phone, all that other shit, because they're trying to sell you shit. Let's face it. Also, people are out there trying to steal your fucking identity, bro. When you go online without a VPN, every internet service provider can literally see every single website you visit forever, and they can legally sell this information without your consent. So I've had to expressvpn.com for fucking years now at this point. The homeless app just runs in the background of every electronic device you have, laptop, iPhone, fucking iPad, you name it, you can browse more anonymously and protect all your shit. You can also fucking fire up other apps in other countries and shit. So like for example, my wife likes that "Love is Blind" show. I was unaware that they had different versions of it in other countries, because this season sucked over here in the United States, so she popped on over and watched the British version. You can do all that shit. You can get other Netflix's and get other websites and everything else. It's great. Secure your online activity today by visiting expressvpn.com/drinkingbros. That is E-X-P-R-E-S-S-Vpn.com/drinkingbros, and you can get an extra three months free. Expressvpn.com/drinkingbros is what everybody should be using on all their electronic devices. Last but not least, we got a hard AF seltzer.com. We're live in Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina, Ohio and Texas. Texas? We're on fire here. I want to give a shout out again, dude, to all those people that came out to the tasting and weather for Texas on Friday night, sold out, sold out in an hour over there. Shout out Ryan Mills. If you see him at one of these events, take a picture with him and let us know you guys are hanging together, but we're in 58 GBs here, every single total wines in the state of Texas. A bunch of Kroger's. I think Janelle Barbeque just picked us up as well. Shout out to those guys, Alabama, we're in all the pigly wigglies, including that one in Birmingham, we're on all the college campuses, Alabama, Auburn, University of Georgia, Delcos, beloved UCF, we're down there. Every single total wine in the state of Florida, Wilmington, we're in that total wine in Wilmington out there, all the brunches restaurants, which are favorites, love brunches, Whiskey Creek Trail out there on Masonboro Loop Road, Columbus, Ohio. We're raging on campus down there at the Ohio State University Standard Hall, Urban Myers Pine House in Dublin, Short North Pine House, downtown there, 14 and O'Lickers, they call it the Sousie Market there, North Campus Market, Tennessee, we're all over Nashville. That Fruga McDougall's is one of our favorites in Nashville, we're at the Total Wine there as well. We're in the Total Wine there, Smoky Mountain, Axe House, we're out there, that's one of our listeners' places, so you can go and throw some axes and have some drinks. Plus, March Madness is coming up by a 12 pack and rage, let's face it, nobody's fucking working this week, dude, you might as well just get blackout drunk, gamble, fucking watch some March Madness in style. Go to heartafselter.com, click on the store locator, enter your city or zip code and it'll take you to the closest store nearest you. If you're not one of those states, one of the surrounding states, we still ship right to your house at heartafselter.com, support us and support the show. So add 20% to it? Yeah, with inflation. So like 500 million, half a bill. Half a bill. Let him say that would do it. Half a bill. Yeah. Why couldn't you just put that up against it, I guess? All of this is so odd and I've never seen anything like it. But I believe he still has until the end of the month, however, the media has already run with us and saying Trump's broke and now they've got Twitter saying Trump is broke out there and it's clearly not fucking broke for Christ's sakes. But I've never seen anyone go after one guy like this. It's fucking wild and you're getting it like you got an actual judgment in this fucking thing. So it's not like a hypothetical like Georgia right now where you got this fucking bullshit going on down there. But even in that one, they were like, no, I think she's still able to do this trial. Don't worry about it. And this is what she's prosecuting him for, which is crazy. Next up, we got dumb lemon, Don Lemon demanded the sun, the moon, the stars, everything you could from the SpaceX boss Elon Musk before being unceremoniously dumped this week. Yeah, this with all the crazy shit going on, this might be the crazy story the whole week. To be honest. You think so? Yeah, this is wild as hell. Yeah, the XC and an anchor sent over an astronomical wish list to Elon Musk during contract talks to host a show on the billionaire social media platform Twitter, including a free Tesla Cybertruck. That's fun. That's the least of it. He asked for a Cybertruck, a $5 million payment upfront on top of an $8 million annual salary and an equity stake in fucking Twitter. Wow. To do his stupid little gay ass show that nobody was watching on CNN. Nobody would watch any of this. And he also wanted to be put on the advisory board of Twitter and given the power to approve any changes in Twitter policies relates to news content. Come on. Are you fucking kidding me? For his show that nobody wants. I mean, this is like, who's that retard that's going to get drafted first? Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams asking for an equity stake in whatever team he's going to be. The bear is saying. Like, dude, you're not even going to be there in three years. What are you talking about? Man, dude. Lemon who is expected to air an interview with Musk for next week's debut episode on Twitter and Bob checked this. I think they might have dropped it this way. They put it today out today. Okay. Yeah. He also demanded a private jet to Vegas, a suite for him and his fiance, who's a dude, right? Well, I mean, he's a Gaylord. So, yeah. He's better be a dude. Otherwise. What are we doing? You know, that's, yeah. And that the company pay for their day drinking and massages, a source with knowledge said to the situation, Musk agreed to do the interview with Lemon despite the fact that he was aware of some of Lemon's outlandish demands. Was there a contract signed? No. Okay. The partnership was announced in January, but a Twitter spokesperson told the post that the company did not have a final or signed agreement with Don Lemon or the Don Lemon Show before Musk sat down for the explosive interview last week. Another decline to comments on the details of the documents, Jay Shur's vice chairman at UTA told the post, this is absolute complete utter nonsense without an Iota of truth to it. Lemon was fired hours after the one on one sit down and Musk calling the anchor Dole and underwhelming. Look, he always has been as far as this agent goes at UTA. All right. I'll address this contract here. $8 million, so he's asking for an $8 million salary. That's what he was getting over at CNN. Now, is that worth the same on Twitter? No. No, it's not. No, it's not. Because you do an hour program over at CNN, which is 42 minutes, 41 minutes and 31 seconds after credits and commercials. So you have 18 minutes worth of ads there. You could never run 18 minutes during an hour long show on Twitter. Nobody would watch it. I just can't get away with that in the real world. What else? So the rates are impression based in digital media as opposed to television. It's way different, right? You're not paying branding deal money to get somebody to fucking do a show on Twitter, frankly, especially not somebody that people hate. The Tesla truck. Yes. An agent would ask for that. I believe that was Jay Shur's. Yes. He would ask for the $8 million salary, $5 million upfront payments, fucking nuts. No. That's not usually part of it. That's usually paid quarterly over there. And then weekly after that, if you're going for an upfront advance in television, equity stick in the multi-billion dollar company has never happened in the history of media. The only person I could see that happening for? Tucker. Tucker or Joe Rogan. And that is it. You have a Rogan wouldn't do that. I agree. But I know there was talks between Twitter and Rogan at one point if the Spotify thing fell through and I guarantee you must offer that and that could be where the agent got it from. Don Lemon certainly doesn't come in that type of power. No. It's also private stock, by the way. So it's not like publicly traded stock where you can just offload and reload any time you want or any of that stuff. Like there's a lot more restrictions around that as far as like, when I see restrictions I mean from the board of the company would not just allow you to sell whatever anyways. The private jet and all that shit. That was some old school Hollywood shit. They used to do it back in the day, but that has not happened in fucking 15 years. So if he sent a jet, I don't know, the truck, sure, I guess if you wanted the fucking truck. But the rest of this is complete bullshit. And yes, the vice chairman of UTA, Jay Shures, is fucking lying on this. I guarantee you he asks for every single fucking word of this. Did Elon say this? Does this come from an article? I came from documentation that was put out by the New York Post. Okay. Yes. I can 99% positive. He absolutely asks for all of this and people used to do this back in the day. But not anymore. Jesus Christ. And it's certainly not for Don fucking Lemon though. Yeah. My God, man. So what does he do now? Don Lemon. Yeah. Fucking no. Maybe he'll go over to Patrick Bette David's show too. Who else is over there? Chris Cuomo would have signed a deal with that. Yeah, that's right. I was trying to think fucking a dude. Didn't Cuomo, Sapien, do Tucker the other day? I didn't watch it. Actually, no, that's not true. I watched like 15 minutes. I mean, it's all about, it's all about money for these people. Yeah. I'll say that. They don't give a shit about principles. Like Cuomo is a serial liar. Who knows? He went hard after people and was part of a large voice that shut down people's ability to run their private companies and shit like that. Fuck him forever. Right? Yeah. Don't try to rehabilitate this cunt. Yeah, it's weird to see, man. But yeah, I don't know where Lemon goes after this. Maybe YouTube, I guess. Maybe yeah. I mean, I'm surprised Google's not paying people that are lefties to do shit over there, frankly. Especially now. YouTube just can't figure the fuck out though. It's the only thing in their entire fucking stock portfolio that is losing money because they will not fucking monetize all the videos and do all the fucking shit for people. It makes the zero sense. Whoever's running YouTube is fucking moron. The rest of that goddamn company is unbelievably successful. Next up, these vegetables taste like cum. Okay, a supermarket employee, pleasure to himself on to produce an other unsealed merchandise according to a Colorado policeman who said that the videos of the vile activity were found during a recent search of the man's residence. Steven Masalta, 32, we got a pic of this guy. Man, that's the guy who was jacking off all over the produce. That's not Sean. It looks like our old editor, Sean here. Very, very close. I think we need to check the local H.E.B. Yeah, he might have jacked off on a 12-pack-a-hard AF seltzer at the H.E.B. down the road. At the time of the arrest, cops executed a search warrant at his home and seized electronics devices containing the incriminating video evidence that cache, which investigators are still reviewing. Oh, God. Imagine I have to watch that footage. Or just anything on that guy's phone. Do like a zapruder film of him ejaculating back into the left. It just like shows slow-motion cum going across the screen the whole time. Oh. Be pretty funny. Oh. Oh. You got to edit that, too. The, like an editor's got involved in the show. Put some funny music on it, maybe. The cache which investigators are still reviewing resulted this week at an additional misdemeanor and felony counts. What's the felony there? Can you not jack off on fruit and vegetables, I guess? I don't know. Like, I've been doing it, but no one's ever reached out to me. I sure have. I mean, it's only on my own stuff, so I don't suppose that's a crime. The police probe of Masalta has determined that he was employed at a Safeway store in Fort Collins for a brief period ending last month. And he's currently being held on a $25,000 bond. I see what the felony stuff is for, potentially. Oh, hmm. What do we got? Well, somehow it's about to get worse. Yeah. The clips allowed detectives to identify alleged victims, I guess, consumers of the jizzed up veggies, some of whom are believed to be minors. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Man, you can't jack off on a zucchini and then chop it up and feed it to kids. I mean, why did he even get into the grocery store game? If you can't jack off onto food, it's going to children. What's the point of even working there? What's the point anymore? My God. That's probably what he's thinking as he's sitting in prison with his $25,000 bail, which I assume being a grocery store employee, he's not paying. No. Right. Uh, as says, as the, the probe of Masalta continues, police anticipate additional charges and more victims being identified until recently, Masalta appears to be resided in Sacramento, California. All right. With this, let's say you are the police and you find this and you've got the videos and all that other shits and they're contacting the victims. Do you even bother then, do you, do you contact the victims? Would you want to know if you ate zucchini with, with semen all over it? I wouldn't want to know. Don't call my fucking house. How do you start the call? Bob, let's simulate that phone call right now. Okay. Who would you, who would you like me to be? You're the, you're the police officer. You're the police officer. Okay. Uh, it's Mr. Holloway. Uh, yeah. Yeah. That's, who's this? Uh, it's Officer, Officer Fox from the, uh, Fort Collins Police Department. Uh, were you, uh, have a couple of questions for you. If you, if you wouldn't mind. Uh, you're going to have to speak to my attorney. That's what I would really say in real life. Yeah. But let's just for the sake of this saying not jammed up. Uh, yeah, sure. Yeah. Officer. Well, okay. It's not, you're not, not in trouble or anything. Nothing wrong. Um, well, I'm wrong with you. Um, and we, did you, uh, uh, shop at a safe way, a safe way, uh, in Fort Collins, Colorado last Monday? Uh, yeah, did something happen? Uh, and you, did you purchase anything, purchase, uh, fruits, vegetables, uh, and, uh, yeah. Uh, fruits, vegetables. Yeah. Some other stuff. Okay. Uh, okay. Uh, have you eaten them? Are they still in your refrigerator? Uh, yeah. We ate them. You ate them already. Uh, yeah. What's, what's, what's going on? Oh, all right. Well, um, Peter, who found some footage, um, a, uh, worker, former worker. So don't worry about the future, uh, but former worker, um, appears to have on video, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, pleasured himself in, in an area, uh, in which you shopped, uh, and then finished pleasuring himself on, on content. I'm sorry. What do you mean by finished? Uh, there was a, uh, an, an, an ejaculate, uh, excretion, um, on to, uh, many. I'm sorry. Officer Fox, was it? Yeah. Yes. You're telling me that I've been feeding my children come for the last week. Yes. Do you, do your children like vegetables? Well, they're not going to anymore. I wouldn't make the call. That's my, that's my case. I would not even make the call. I feel like if you're a parent of one of these kids, you should get to kill this guy. Yeah. To be honest. For sure. Like if it was any other circumstance where a grown man fed your child, come, you'd kill him. But how do they know that the kids ate it? Like this? Well, just because of this phone call that just happened, that was, that was not, that was a reenactment. That really happened. I wouldn't. So I wouldn't place the call then unless he contacted the victims, like, do they have footage of the victims eating the vegetables or fruits? I have. Bob, can you find, just go what you understand the assignment and find a picture on the internet of a piece of fruit or vegetable with comming and off it. Come on, man. So we can maybe leave it and like have it dry there? Well, that's a, that's kind of a fetish thing, right, where, uh, you go into a dressing room with your girl, come on her face and then she walked, like Shane walks back to the car with comm on her. No, I've never had that. Yeah. It's, it's, well, no, I mean, it's like a fucking porn thing. They make porn about that all the time. It's fucking retarded. You jack off all over and then parade her through the store. Usually she sucks your dick and then you just come on her face. Okay. And then you walk her through the store, like you don't walk her through the store. You walk with her through the store. Oh God. She just happens to have come all over her. Okay. Yeah. Do you see any fruit with semen on it there? You got a dick deep here. Hold on. I feel like you turn off the safe search. Turn on the, no, actually, uh, pop open that carrot pick there with the little legs and it looks like a dick. Yeah. Just show that to the audience. Holy shit, dude. Imagine getting that imagine these glazed going right in your mouth. I mean, it's three dicks, five total there on these carrots. Holy shit, man. If I'm the police, I just don't make that call. I just say, look, we're going to arrest this guy, get him the fuck out of there and then kind of move on because is there a shot? He's going back to another grocery sort of jack off on more food after that. I mean, like, I'm hoping that Safeway has his picture up at the front of the building of all their stores now. Yeah. Oh, actually, I think I found footage. Did you find some footage? Anything we can show? Nope. Oh, nope. Oh, he's, uh, he's getting in there. Yeah. See that, that right there is an organic flat, uh, flesh light. It sure is. You know what I mean? What part of the car is that? Uh, it looks like the front radiator and he just stuffed, uh, what appears to be a cucumber in there and now he's dug it out and he's fucking the inside. Oh, damn it. Oh, yeah. He's been on that bad boy. He's spent on his own cock. Yeah. Oh, man. Just fucking your car, dude. Hey, look, dude, some people really love their cars. This guy's got a fucking hog on him. It's the packet of new ports that's been finished that does it for me. Oh, come on, dude. We've got we've got guests here. We've got a steamed guests. I'm kidding. They're all pieces. He's not done. He's not done. No, that was just an interlude. He was just fucking beefing up a little more. Yeah. I don't need to see it anymore, Bob. It's not. Oh, shit. I won't get off the screen. He's not finished. Oh, it's a big cucumber, too. Or is that an eggplant? I think it's an eggplant. Wow. It's a cucumber. Yeah. Eggplant. That's not. No, I think it's an eggplant. No, it's not. Are you sure? Yeah, it's black. It's green. Inside it's green. Okay. What fruit would you fuck? Don Lemon. Yeah. Nailed it. I go. He's got a kind of ring on now. Oh, wait. Maybe Richard Simmons, actually. He announced he's dying, right? He is. Or something? I go cantaloupe. He ended up in the microwave. What's he doing? I'm a good 40. What kind of warm? A 75-year-old. You don't usually announce that I'm dying. Yeah. Well, you know, dude. You're 70 fucking five years old. I didn't know he was 75. He's young at heart. No. He's young at heart. Richard Simmons. RIP. Oh, God. I don't want to see this guy finishing. No, Bob. No. Oh, fucking done today, dude. It's fucking... I mean, that's a Monday. That's a nice... I can't do this on a Monday. Well, that's a nice rope, first of all. What happened to his dick? Fuck! Dude. Damn it. Why does he... Well, his dick has an underbite. What the fuck? Looks like the fucking sandworm are doing too. I've never seen a dick with an underbite like that before. Oh, boy. I mean, but they come in all shapes and sizes, so... Jesus, man. That's a... That's a sleeve. There's a sleeve on that guy's cock here. Good for him. What does it say? My old wooden chair was long gone, but I remembered that I had a melon in the kitchen. I'm sorry. Is he in love? Nailed it. Is he implying that he's been fucking a wooden chair? A whole old wooden chair. What the fuck? This guy's penis is so problematic. Yeah. There's something going on there. Wait. It's so much. Scared! Fuck! Fuck! This is not why we do this show, right here. It is exactly what we do. Oh, yeah. It's about to send the only reason we do this show. God damn it, man. I didn't want to see this. Some fun shit. Not this. I mean, that's an extra fucking six inches of skin there, dude. Son of a bitch. Yeah, he really should harvest some of that skin and put it to good use. Yeah. Because it's not doing anything here. Give it to a needy kid in China, dude. Is that a different dick? No. Who's putting it on? It's his own hand. That's nice. It knows camera angles as well. Shit. I hate this guy's pubes. I hate all of it. Oh, fuck! There's a hole on the other side? God damn it, man. This is just poor people's stuff. Yeah. I mean, this is... And I'll tell you. God damn it, man. As a policy, I don't make eye contact with poor people. No, I understand. I understand. Because it's like... I don't know. It just makes me feel weird. They're going to ask me for something and I'm going to say no. You're going to say, "Hey, you've got to get the fuck out of here, okay?" No solicitors in this neighborhood. Next up, left is support terrorism, Bobby, can turn that off at any second, dude. I just can't look up, apparently. He finished. Oh, fuck. Yeah, and by the way... I missed it. I missed it. It was a good rope. The second one was a pretty decent rope. Was it really? Yeah. Like, which makes me think he's either been backed up or he's really into cantaloupes. Probably both. Probably both. I mean, there's a seed right there. You're lucky that seed didn't get stuck in your dickhole. Oh. Watch the rope. Watch the rope. Do it in slow motion real quick. There it is. Nope. Good to see it. Boom. Yeah. Let's see it. Now there's going to be a bunch of little cantaloupes running around his fucking kitchen. Oh. God. Damn it, man. I'm going to throw up on a Monday. I mean, just absolutely vomit all over the goddamn microphone on a Monday. Oh. Next up left is support terrorism. The stepdaughter of vice presidents Kamala Harris is publicly raising cash. Kamala Harris. Yeah. Kamala with a melon Harris is publicly raising cash. The United Nations relief and works agency even as the United States is cut funding to the group over its members alleged participation in the October 7 terrorist attack in Israel. Kamala, M. Hoff, whose father is second gentleman, had to hate that term so much, dude. It's gay. So gay. The second gentleman. I mean, you may as well fucking fold your dick in half and put it away for the rest of your life. Like that's the thing is deadline. That's it. No more use out of that. That's it. Whose father is second gentleman Doug M. Hoff posted a link to UNRWA's English language fundraising page on her personal Instagram and only removed it after a post inquiry to the White House. You may remember UNRWA from a few weeks ago when a dozen or more of their employees were shown to have actively participated in the 10/7 attacks in Israel by Hamas. We urge Ms. Amahof to go on the website of UNWatch and read our reports showing how UNRWA teachers and school principals systematically promote and encourage jihadi terrorism and the slaughter of Jews. UNRWA, the largest employer in Gaza, has long faced international criticism for its close ties with Hamas, which have ruled the enclave since 2006. President Trump cut U.S. aid to the organization in 2018, a decision President Biden initially reversed when he took office under Biden's leadership, at least $730 million, found its way into UNRWA's coffers. Help me out with this. How is this legal and how is this able to still go on? I don't know. I mean, you know, it's her mom is right there on her step mom is Kamala Harris, right? And if you recall during the summer of 2020, while leftist Antifa people were burning down cities across America, she was one of quite a few very high profile politicians and celebrities who were funding their nonprofit that was bailing these people out of prison for setting federal buildings on fire, police stations on fire, right? So I guess it just kind of runs in their family to be a fucking supporter of terrorism, right? Because that's what this is. The UNRWA, it wasn't that it was like 15% of their employees have been linked to the October 7 terror attack. That's not like one or two people, you know what I mean? It'd be like 15% of our company here, you know, Joel, I would imagine, you know, Joel's too lazy for terrorism. That's true. That's true. As a matter of fact, we're all too lazy for terror. Yeah. Nobody's done here. I don't have the time for it. I took a nap this morning, like 20 minutes after I woke up, like, you know what, I don't think so. Yeah. I went out and looked at the sun. I'm like, fuck you, dude. Yeah. No need. No need. Look, as far as all this goes, it's a fucking two tier justice system. All this, all this is fucking horseshit. The wild thing is it's just happening happening right in front of us and we're all just like, yeah, all right. Well, that's that happens. Is there anything? Is there making do anything? No. Nobody's going to do anything about it. Nobody's going to do anything about this. Nobody gives a fuck here. So, you know, it's weird to see in this country. Is it? I mean, we've, to be honest, the federal government uses our tax dollars to build and prop up fucking terrorist organizations all over the world. But we didn't know about it. No, we did. Well, the public didn't know. The public didn't know. You guys did. The public, us is like just normal citizens. No idea about any of this shit. I didn't know about the fucking drone strikes under Obama or Trump or any of that shit. And it's probably the way it should stay. This though is just right in front of your face and nobody does anything. They're like, hey, dude, we're doing this, all the Trump shit with the fucking trials and everything else. It's like, hey, dude, we're going to do this. Marlago's worth 18 million. That's it. So you're going to have to pay half a billion dollars and nobody's doing a goddamn thing. So fuck it, I guess. If you're in control and you're able to do it, why not flaunt it? She looks happy in this picture. Pop her up there. How old is this? I don't know. But I guarantee you she's on at least one anti-depressant. Yes. Maybe maybe two or three? Could be several. Yeah. Probably a whole cocktail she takes in the morning, noon and night there. Last but not least. I knew this one. I knew this was going to happen. Do you know this is going to happen? Yeah. Matt Taiby turns on Elon Musk. I don't even know this story and I promise you I saw this coming day one. Remember Twitter files reporter Matt Taiby said that billionaire Elon Musk has proved to be very disappointing. On the topic of free speech, Taiby who published the first installment of the Twitter files after Musk bought the platform, argued that Tesla CEO has fallen short of his promise of being a free speech absolutist. I do believe that Elon proved to be very disappointing on the free speech issue. He says in an appearance on News Nation's Cuomo Friday, all of us who worked on the Twitter files felt the same way. We went in there feeling tremendously optimistic that he actually meant a lot of the things that he said about being in favor of an all legal speech and being a free speech absolutist and all these other things that proved to be not the case. He's currently disenfranchising thousands of sub stack writers, including me. He says. I didn't know that. Yeah. It looks like any link that's two other social or semi social platforms included in sub stacks like the biggest one essentially, right, which is by the way, like a lot of there's been a lot of competition amongst second party publishers, like, I mean, just social media, right? Facebook, Twitter, so on and so forth over the years. But I think this is the first time anybody's actually banned links out before like Facebook definitely would demonetize things for certain stuff or they would slow down traffic. If it took you off of their website, YouTube does the same thing, by the way. But to outright ban it, it's like this is what we talked about in September of 21 when he bought the goddamn thing, right, or 22 whenever it was, like he's full of shit. Elon Musk is like routinely fucking stifled speech over his entire career in any way he can. It's like, I don't understand the hero worship. It's like we're so deep into this shit that anybody like RFK Jr is a fucking liberal leftist retard on everything but his one specialty and people are still talking about him running for president. It's like, no, man. No. Yeah. The person he chose is BP. No. Some chick who's got money because he needs funding. Yeah. He's basically larping as a politician now. He gets no coverage in everything else. He doesn't deserve any coverage, frankly. He did his part. Thank you for that, for telling the truth about medicine. Now, fuck off. But we just keep, people keep bouncing from one hero to the next. This dude's not a hero. He's also setting up a major fucking like a spy satellite network for the US government right now under a SpaceX contract. No shit. I didn't know that. But as far as Elon Musk is concerned, if you're going to do this anyways, and you're not going to have free speech across the board, which is what Taibi went on to say here. Because he was like, look, are you censoring bad speech or anything else? He was like, it's just, you don't have free speech on this platform. Just go the other way. Facebook has already done it. Who else did it? Who's the other fucking big one out there? God damn it. TikTok is completely censored, but you don't go to TikTok. You're not going there for that ranking you're going to get anything. So if you're Elon, and he said this numerous times about wanting Trump to win and everything else, why not just go full right and then block shit the way that Facebook used to? I think that's, come out and say, all right, I don't really give a shit about free speech anymore. Fuck it. The left is the left and they control the media. I'm going to control Twitter. Why not do it then at this point? Because yeah, you're not, you're not having free speech on there. And some of the shit in my feed is still the people I fucking hate. So that's obviously a, a rage algorithm that's still going on on Twitter. Why not just go full right and say, you know what? Fuck it, man. I want him to win the election and, and all censor and do whatever I can because free speech is out the window. I'm surprised that he didn't let Don Lemon post the video on Twitter or did he? I mean, you have to go to YouTube. He does things to, he's not stupid. He does things to pretend like he's in support of free speech, right? He knows that if he told Don Lemon, no, then more people are going to go watch it on some other platform, which is stupid for him. He's a businessman. He needs those clicks. That's why he lets those Krasenstein cons do all the shit they do. That's why he lets old women do all the shit he does. It's like it used to be the outrage algorithm, right? Yeah. There was a behind the scenes algorithm that shoved shit in your face that you didn't want to see. And nobody really knew it was going to think we knew, but we didn't know now he's just doing it openly pretending it's free speech. He's the same piece of shit that the other crew was. He's just doing it in a way that's, I guess, a little more transparent. So I guess that's fine. But if I'm him, just go full right and then just ban all the other shit and be like, look, we got an election coming up. I own the goddamn thing. It's private, right? That's what YouTube does to us. Yeah. Hey, we're a fucking, we're our own platform. We can ban, we can censor, we can do all the shit. We've not only seen it, we've gotten emails from it. We've gotten videos taken down and everything else. Why not just behave in the same manner as YouTube or Facebook and say, all right, I'll be the right version of this social media wise and we'll clear everybody out. I'll pump you full of all the shit that I want you to read for the election. And then we're all good. Block hashtags. Do all of it. Yeah. True social does that. Exactly. So why not? Like at that point? I don't really get it. If you truly want to win the election, we've seen it. You can do it by controlling the media and social media and Twitter is certainly one of the biggest. I don't think anybody will leave Twitter. Threads is never caught on. No, Threads is done. So if you're him, fuck it. I would just say, let's go. Yeah. By the way, the Texas thing with Pornhub, that's still going on, by the way. That's wild, man. They're telling you where to jack off and they definitely don't want you to jack and off on fruits and vegetables. Don't tell me where, how, when to jack off. Ever. That's, that's my, I, to me, masturbation is a First Amendment issue. Sure is. Right. Yeah. It's like I, it's my right to jack off anywhere I want provided it doesn't hurt someone else. Your body, your choice. Yeah. Your body, your choice. Now it's time for the drinking bro of the week. Well, the first one is going to be Jared Taylor. Yes, it's his birthday. His days is birthday. He's sad. How old is he? 39, I think. Here's this 24. Yeah. He's 39. It's the year of our lower 20, 24. Yeah. So for his 40th, by the way, next year, we're going to get wild as hell. The clicking sound is this fake gun, by the way. Um, yeah. So that, you see that dummy in the middle right there? Yep. Right. In the box. That's Jared Taylor. It's his birthday. So if you haven't already, uh, go to any of his social media platforms and, and you know, I don't know, I guess recount, uh, a memory you've had with them. If you've been on one of our events on the cruise, um, old school shows where he had the QDO quick dump out. Yep. Right. Blackouts. Black and out on the show or fall in the sleep on, on things, uh, Wonderwall. Yeah. Share some memory with him. He likes it. Yeah. Happy birthday. Jared. 39. Yeah. 39. You don't say. Uh, drinking brother weeks. So we got listeners here who's coming up here. It's, it's a lady. Yeah. It's a lady over there digging through. There's like fucking 80 cases of hard day of seltzer digging through every box only grabbing the blue raspberry. You're better than that. I wanted to drink it. Not me. The guy. Yes. Oh, they did? Yes. These pieces shit people like bro, every fucking box. I have pink one. That's gnarly. Uh, got and sit down and, uh, yeah, got, uh, put your, put your face about an inch from the microphone. There you go. There you go. I'll share it. Alright. Pull it. See it. There you go. Hello friends. There you go. You guys have been drinking all day. Look at you guys. Oh no, we didn't start drinking all the guy here. Okay. Well you've been here all day. Yeah. I mean here in the studio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we're good. Yeah. Put it closer. We beat you here. There you go. There you go. There it is. We beat you here. You did. You did beat me here today. Sorry mom. Oh yes we do. No, your mom. She does as of today. Oh really? Look at you guys. Look at how fucked up they are. Yeah, put, just put the, can you leave the camera on them Delco? Uh, because this is going to be a shit show. Go ahead. Yes it is. You want to flash your mom? Flash your mom. Is it your birthday? No. It was. It was. Did your mom want to see your tits? No. My mom had seen them. She has. Okay. I don't know. I don't care. I'm not going in there. Either way. Drinking brother week. First of all tell me your names. Both your names. Denel and Christy. Okay. Denel and Christy. We're from Des Moines area. Kind of Iowa. Okay. Sure. Doesn't exist. Yes it does. Okay fine. It does. We're from South of Ames. South of Ames. There you go. Uh, who would you like to give drink a brother week to? Yeah. That's the one that got me into watching the show and doing all the scrap. And we did a 14 hour straight drive here to come down. Holy shit. So you guys are coming off a 14 hour drive and then hard AF? Well no. We actually have 24 hours in between there. Okay. Holy shit. Yeah. Six hours that did not work. No. No. Holy shit. What kind of cars you guys drive down in? Like a Ford Escape. Bish thing. 14 hours in a Ford Escape. It was a 2018 Ford Escape. It's not an escape. I don't care. I don't care. Edge. I don't care. Edge. It's a Ford. Ford. Ford. Forking windy SUV. Yeah. That's a tough one. It's a long ride. Yeah. It's a long way. Who do you want to give drink a brother week to? Hello. Sean Shafer out in the back. Sean Shafer out in the back. Sean Shafer. There you go. How do you know Sean Shafer? Well, where do I start? You guys bone? They live together. Yeah. See you guys bone? We've got our adventure land. Sure. And Des Moines. Yeah. Yeah. What does that mean? We made our adventure land and we flew it around the lazy river. Okay. That's how you guys met. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. Well, thanks for being here. We appreciate it. Thank you guys very much. Absolutely. Get out of your hair. Did you get fucked up today? Oh, God. I'm kidding. Yeah. Yeah. I know you. Woo. Pop the camera over there. Delco. Jesus. Are you going to finish those on here? Okay. Yeah. Makes sense. You'll definitely black out. Look, if you're in the Austin area, pop on down to Drinking Bro's podcast. We'll put you on at the end and you can give out your Drinking Bro, the week live on air or you can go to Drinking Bro's.com. Click on the submission form and it gets emailed directly to us. And once again, those bro boxes, dude, are out there and available on Drinking Bro's.com. The whole store is stocked up over there. If you can't join us, even if you can't afford a fucking bro box, you're like, "Hey, bro, there's some inflation by Biden's killing me." Go to iTunes, ready to show a five-star and leave a quick review. That's free. Or go to Spotify. It's just a five-star and you can walk away. That's also free. And that helps the show, too. Damn it. We appreciate you tuning in. For Dan and Anthony Holloway, I'm Ross Patterson. This is Drinking Bro's. Thank you. It's good. [Music] [Music] [Music]
