Bitch!
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 789 - A Nightmare on Elm Street (NES)
You're about to listen to Tadpog, Tyler and Dave play old games. It's a comedy video game podcast. We would like to stress that the host are not experts and are really just very crass commentators. Seriously, this is an explicit podcast that happens to talk about video games sometimes. So please enjoy this pretty okay podcast with Tyler and Dave. (upbeat music) ♪ Hello internet ♪ ♪ Hello bitch ♪ (laughing) He says it twice and then I don't know if he says it anymore. But like the four movies I've watched for the crew crew says "Bitch" twice. Yeah, yeah. And I don't know why that like, I assume it's just Rick and Morty, Scary Terry was just like. (laughing) 'Cause I was watching these movies and I was like, he has not said "Bitch" like once and then I got to the third movie and he said it twice. And then he didn't say it in all the fourth movies. I was like there were a lot of times where he didn't say it that I expected it. Right, exactly. I think that was like one of some face. I didn't say "Bitch". Yeah, it's like the Mandela effect of Freddy Krueger. The Freddy Krueger effect where everyone thinks he says "Bitch" after everything, but it really is only twice. It's like yeah, I need to finish watching all the movies. I'll report back. Well, the three of us are your boyfriends now. - Bitch. - Bitch. (laughing) - It's a bitch week. - You know the British version he says, can't. (laughing) - Boy. - Boy. - I'm your bloody boyfriend now. (laughing) - In the Robert England version. - In England, England version. (laughing) - Clearly we're talking about "Not Maron Elm Street". Both movies and the NES game of the same title. - Exciting. Happy Halloween, everybody. - Happy Halloween. - Happy Halloween. - This is the release of this episode. It's tomorrow, Halloween is tomorrow. - And if you're not listening to this one, it came out. Shame on you. - It might still be tomorrow. Just next year. - It could be. - But also shame on you as Dave said. You should be caught up. - So yeah, before we dive into all the Elm Streety goodness, quote unquote. - Oh, but before even that, I know we told everyone last week that we were doing time cop. - Yes. - Well, we lied. - Well, we lied. - 'Cause we're a liar. - This is your Halloween surprise from your favorite trio of lying liars. We had actually already planned on doing "Nightmare on Elm Street". All three of us forgot. - Yup. - 'Cause October kind of vanished. And I didn't realize that this was gonna happen. - Yeah, you sent a message saying, "Hey, next, when we record next, it's like the two days before Halloween." - It's before Halloween. - And I was like, "Oh, that doesn't seem right." And I even looked at the calendar and I was like, "Yeah, he's right, that's weird." - So, surprise. Happy Halloween. - Surprise. We're doing intros now. Okay. So at Dave's suggestion, I started watching "Ronmo 1/2" on Netflix. - Yeah, he sent me a message from me. - I'm really enjoying that show. - I'm really glad to hear that. - It's a lot of fun. I've really had a lot of, it's funny. It makes me laugh out loud, which is rare. - It is a comedy. I'm really, when I was rewatching the old anime series, the old "Ronmo 1/2," I was thinking about you. 'Cause it felt like something that would be kind of in your new wheelhouse. - It is. I really had a lot of fun with it. So, thanks for that recommend. I also picked up another one on Netflix. I've started watching in the meantime all my other shows. I'm waiting for new episodes to come out. I started another anime called "Delicious in Dungeon." - Yes. - I started that one. - It's a studio trigger joint. And I really enjoyed that one too. It's been fun. It's different than normal, but for, have you mentioned it on the show before? - I have. - Okay. - So I don't have to go into it. - I think you should try to be more too crazy about it. - Yeah, I dropped off of it, but I don't, I'm not, I don't wanna, I know you're talking about it. I don't wanna shit on it. - No, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. - But I got, I got really bored. - I could see that and I don't know how far into it I'm gonna get before I get distracted. You know, like I said, it's kind of a filler for me. But I have so far enjoyed it. It's been entertaining, but I've only made it through like three or four episodes. - It's a cool concept. I don't know, I don't know what it was about it. I just kind of got bored and. - I get it and just really fell off. - I can see how that could happen, but we'll see. So far it's holding my attention. So I'm gonna, Tyler, last week you mentioned that one of your daughters was trying to go see Terrifier 3 and couldn't get in because they were checking IDs. - Yep. - I'm really glad they were checking IDs. - That's what everybody in the discord was like, good, they needed to check it. - Yeah, I watched Terrifier 3 last night as a matter of fact, and holy shit. It is easily the goryest movie I've ever seen. It makes the scene in Bone Tomahawk look like child's play because there's a scene like Bone Tomahawk in this movie. - What I thought was funny is the guy who plays Art the Clown was the understudy for Robbie Rotten in Lazy Town, and he patented a lot of the way art moves and does things after Robbie Rotten in Lazy Town. - Well, he's really good, and I like the movie, but this one just went like off the scale and gore and violence, like to an extreme that I didn't even, it made me kind of uncomfortable. Like I was just like, Jesus, I was playing Overwatch at the time, but I was watching it as well 'cause I had some other things going on. - Is it rated R or is it NC7C? - It's rated R as far as I know. But it's a rough watch. I mean, there's some tough stuff in there. So I can see, I could see letting a minor into see Deadpool versus Wolverine way easier than I could see him getting into see Terrifier 3 because it's rough. So just keep that in mind. But I liked it okay. I mean, it is what it is and more a gore-fest than horror. - It is a gore-fest and it's got some really good, the horror elements that it does have are the clown stuff where he's being scary and not just violent are good moments. So I mean, I don't necessarily like, I'm not like subscribed to the fandom of Terrifier series, but it's pretty good. So I'm gonna give that one in three stars, it was insane to just check it out. Speaking of Overwatch, I don't know how much longer it's gonna be in effect, but the Junkenstein's laboratory is still going on in Overwatch right now. It's a neat game mode where like before you start, you pick your hero and then you get buffs that you can choose a certain number of buffs for your either your defenses or your offense, your weapons, whatever, and those buffs add new abilities to your current kit. And it's kind of hard and right now, try hard dickhead bullies are playing that mode, but when you can get into a good game, it's fun because it just adds a new layer of complexity to the game. And I think they're doing a lot to like get, this is a case study for how can we make changes in the future to keep playing fresh. So for anyone out there still, I played with my friend Kaiser Arc, he and I played for several hours in Junkenstein's laboratory the other night, and it was a lot of fun playing with him. So I appreciate you hollering at me. I'm really hard to reach. And so like he was doing his level best to get in touch with me. And I played for like an hour and a half before I realized he was like there and trying to get my attention to play. So finally I saw it and we played and that was fun. So looking forward to more of that. And then last but not least in my list of things that I did last week, one of which was a colonoscopy I had on Friday. - Hell yeah. - Oh boy, the prep for that was awful, the stuff they make you drink. - Yeah, I heard it. - I hope she clear you. I can deal. - Bowel prep. - Yeah, bowel prep. I can deal with awful. - So it's called? - Yeah, it is. - Which kind did you get? Like the big gallon. - Super prep. It's like they give you two of these bottles that you have to mix with water. - Okay. That one's better than the other one they give you. - Oh gosh. - The other one's like give you like a milk jug just full of shit you have to drink. - Oh god, I can't imagine. So well, honestly it's not too far off from that, but the day before you can't have solid food, like the day before you have to just eat, drink broth or eat jello, but you can't have any solid food the day before. And then the night before, around six, you take the first half of the prep, which is a little bottle. It's about a little bottle that you add to 16 ounces of water and you gotta drink it all down and then you gotta finish 32 ounces of water in the next hour and during that, in the first half hour after you do that, you start shitting and you really don't stop. It was the taste of that stuff, it was so awful. I can deal with the medicine. This tasted bad in a way that I could barely tolerate it and then so, but the worst part about it is, you go through that, that whole shitting thing lasts about two to two and a half hours. Then you gotta get up at four a.m. and do it again. Before the four a.m. the day of the test, you gotta get up and do it again. - Drink more of it? - The same amount. And then you shit for two and a half hours again. And at this point, it's just literally just water. And so. - You're like one of those puffer fishes? - It felt like it, I did, I felt like it. And, but the second dose of the bowel prep, I got about two thirds of the way through the cup of the initial drink and I almost vomited because it's so awful. So I just didn't finish it and I just drank the water. - Yeah, sure. - Apparently that was fine 'cause they didn't, I think there's more there than they need, but they want you to, I think they take into account that you're probably gonna get sick. - Right. - So anyway, I went to the hospital and they put me on the thing. They put the IV in my arm. And it's funny too because you can hear the anesthesiologist going down from room, from bed to bed to bed to bed, talking to each patient who's either there for a colonoscopy or an endoscopy and they're asking questions, they asked the same questions about, you know, about for tip prep, you for anesthesia. And so anyway, I was one of the first ones there and so she comes through and then they come and ask me some more questions and then the doctor or the nurse comes and says, okay, here we go. It's just she like rolls me down the hall in the bed and, you know, they take me into the room where the cameras and all that stuff are. - Are your hands tied to the bed with tongues? - No, no tongues. - No tongues. - No tongues. I get what you're doing. (laughing) And so the actual doctor that's performing the colonoscopy comes in and she's like, hi, I'm your doctor. I'm gonna be performing your tests today and welcome to the club. Since I know this is your first time, I'm like, okay, cool. My anesthesiologist comes in, he looks like he's about 15 years old. - Cool. - And he's, but he's really tall and got this super deep voice. He's like, hey, partner, how you doing today? I'm like, good man, I guess. He's like, you're gonna feel great about just a second. He ties this syringe to my arm, to the thing in my arm and goes, coming in hot and the doctor says, pick your dream and I was fucking done. I was out. I was, the next thing I know. - Let's stick stuff in this guy's butt. - I woke up in recovery. - Hey, that's great. - Weird. - I have never been, and I felt great. - Yeah, you just-- - Oh, it was such a good name. - Made me less concerned about this in my future. - Yeah, so, and then they told me, though, that they did find quite a few polyps in there, which are normal. That's probably why my shit in a box test came back abnormal. And they found quite a few. In fact, they found enough to where they could not remove any more without potentially hurting me. So they took out like 11 of polyps and they're gonna send them off to be tested. And depending on the results of the test, it'll decide whether or not I have to have another colonoscopy in six or 12 months. Because if they come back as precancerous, then I've gotta go in in six months and have the other ones taken out. But it looks like under the circumstances, I might be getting a colonoscopy every year for the rest of my life, which I'm not terribly thrilled about, but-- - That doesn't sound good. - It's not, she did say, just to be clear, she did say I did not seek cancer. You do not have cancer. You're not, you do not have cancer. She was very, very, very specific to tell me the polyps are normal. You just had a lot-- - And you're like me and you're like, what you're telling me is I have cancer. - Right, exactly. She was like, I didn't see anything. I wouldn't tell you that I didn't, if I did, 'cause I'm a doctor and I'm doing this to help you, I promise you do not have cancer. I'm like, okay, well, that's really good. And the polyps are very normal. And like I said, even if they come back pre-cancerous, this is treatable. And maybe by the, if I have to get one next year and they get the rest of them out. - Yeah, gotta do what you gotta do, right? - Yeah, and then they may say, well, you're fine. We didn't see any additional ones from your first time, so we'll give you another two or three years before you have to come back. And honestly, the worst part about it was the fact that it was a scheduling problem. Number one, and number two, that prep. That prep was the fucking worst thing I've ever had to do medically. - Everyone's told me that the prep is worse. - I've had fucking adult teeth pulled out of my mouth while I'm wide awake. And I would rather have a tooth pulled than go through that drinking that shit again. It was that bad. I don't know, I just, I wish they could come up with a better way, but it is what it is. So anyway, I'm now in the colonoscopy club. - What happens if you don't do the prep? Like, do you wake up and you're like, you are in a lot of trouble. - Yeah, basically shit all over. - Well, the thing is, they would know immediately. - Yeah. - I mean, obviously, 'cause your colon would be full of shit. - Right, yeah. - They would just stop the test and then take you off the anesthesia and say, you didn't do your prep. - Yeah, I did. - You can't do this test. And we're, but we're still gonna charge you for it because we did our part and you didn't do your, so. Yeah, it would be, it would be, I'm sure that people have tried to get through the test without doing the prep, and don't get me wrong. I don't wanna have any more teeth pulled. I just, it sounded to me like you hated that medicine. I hated that shit. - Everyone's told me that's the worst part. - It is, I literally warned me of that as well, but man, that propofol shit that they gave me. Man, that stuff's awesome. - That's the anesthesia? - Uh-huh. I mean, it knocked me right the instantly the fuck out. I've never, I've been put under before and there was no counting to 10, there was nothing. There was, coming in hot, squeeze, done. I'm out, gone. I don't know, it's really creepy too to think that you can be so alive and utterly helpless. - Oh yeah. - That someone's complete and utter mercy. - Sure. - Because of some chemical that they put into your body. (laughs) - Yeah. - But, I know, man, I feel yeah. That's how I, when I had my appendectomy, and I remember waking up. - Oh yeah. - And just being like, oh, that was weird. (laughs) It's nice that it's so instantaneous, you know, and me. - And I'm like, I'm shaven, you know? (laughs) It's like, they were shaven me? - Yeah. - They were. - But that's it for me this week. They've been up to it. - I got COVID. - Yes, you do. - There's that, yeah, I don't anymore, but I did have it. - You get it every, almost every time you go out of town now, it seems like, I feel like, is it not? - No, last time I had it was-- - Oh, that was Vegas. - That was Vegas, I think, like, that was probably three years ago, maybe two. - No. - No, I refuse to believe it. - Sure was. Yep, sure was. So, dealt with that, that was fun, that was cool. Got the little air mattress out and slipped on that, and quarantined for five days. - Cool. - It was fun, loved it. - Do you rather do that or take bowel prep? - I don't know, I based on-- - Put your hands together. - Based on what you said, I guess the five-day quarantine. - I'm hoping I, like, over did it on, like, making that sound bad, so when you do have to actually do it, you'll be like, "Dude, you're such a baby." - No, I don't think that's gonna happen. Like, literally every person I've ever talked to has had, who has had a colonoscopy, has said that that is the worst topic, and they talk about how horrible it is, so. Like, both my parents, you, former co-workers, everyone has been like, "Oh, that prep is the worst." So, yeah, I had COVID, and slept a whole bunch. And I watched a bunch of movies. I watched a bunch of Nightmare on Elm Street. I love that you just, like, fucking blew through so many. 'Cause you told me, you were like, okay, so I just watched one and two, now I'm on three, and I'm thinking, fuck, okay, I at least need to watch three, because I don't like two, but three. - Man, I can talk to you about two for a minute. Two fucking sucks, and it is like not even worth watching. It's super not, it really isn't. And I was watched, so I was watching them, and Nicky and I had watched the first one, we had re-watched the first one. I don't know, maybe like last year, or something for Halloween, something like that. And I was like, I'm down to watch that one pretty much any time, 'cause that's a good movie. - Yeah, it's a good movie. - And then I was like, well, I mean, let's just see how many of these I can watch, and I started playing the second one, and I was like, oh fuck, we watched this one too. And I was like, well, I guess I'll watch it again. It sucks. It is, it's bad. And it's like the premise of that one is so stupid. I could tell what they were trying to do. They were like, well, you know, Freddy can only get you in dreams. We gotta bring him into the real world. How could we do that? Well, he possesses a guy who lives in the house that Nancy lived in. - Right. - And it's like, okay, that so far is fine, I guess. - Sure. - But then it's like, what I hate about it is it's a love story. And it's like, it's fine if that's done well, but it's not done well. - It's not, it's a bad movie. - It's a bad movie, and it should feel bad. - We'll get into one and three in the game segment, because I do have quite a bit for that, and those are both good movies. - Three I love, four is the one that I watch the most as a kid, I think, because I, that's Dream Master, right? - Yeah, Dream Master. That's the one that has the kill in it that has lived in my brain since I saw it. It's like the nastiest, I remember watching it with my dad, and I remember him commenting on it. It's the Roach Motel kill. - Yes. - It's where the weightlifting girl, or he shows up, and then like, she's bench pressing, and Freddie pushes down on the bars. So hard that it like breaks her arms. And then so like, it breaks her arms with the elbows, and it's like, then her forearms fall off, and like, giant Roach legs start going out of the broken part of her arm. It is like, so that's not a great movie, but the body horror in that movie is fucking insane. Because you have that kill, and then like, she like, so yeah, she's like, she's fucking turning into a Roach, and then like, steps off the bench, and the fucking floor is all like golden colored and gooey. - Yeah, that sticky Roach trap stuff. - And then she falls down on it, and like, she's, ah, and then she like, goes to pull herself up off of the floor, and it pulls her fucking face off. And there's like a Roach cockroach, like, head underneath that. And then there's another giant Roach in there with her. And then you see the room just kind of lift up, and you realize that it's all miniaturized. - She's inside a Roach motel. - Yeah, you see Freddie holding a Roach motel, and he says, "They check in, they don't check out." My dad finished that line, that's why I remember it. 'Cause he had seen the commercials, and then Freddie fucking squeezes the Roach hotel, and there's got to be like four egg yolks in that box. (laughing) 'Cause these squeezes are just fucking shoots on about the ends. That is such a fucking gross kill. - It is gross. - And it's like, that stuck with me. That one stuck with me. That and also the fucking scene at the end, where the dream master's facing off against Freddie, and she hits him with the fucking Taser Gun that the nerdy girl made. She's like, accent, punch us through the church power system, and fucking shoots him with his fucking bolt of electricity, and then he gets all fucking, he hits the back wall, and then all of a sudden, like the souls of all the kids that he's eaten, and also another fucking gross-ass scene in that movie is, Alice, the dream master, he comes to her in a dream in a pizza place, and he comes out with a pizza, and there's all, it's like a meatball pizza, a sausage pizza, and like all the pieces of sausage are like kids' faces, and he's using his fucking knife fingers to pluck him off and eat him. It's fucking gross shit. It's like garbage-filled kids, style. It's fun, I mean, it's entertaining, but it's also like, god damn. But like in this church, man, he's all like fucking up against the wall, and then like as the kids' souls are like, they're like rebelling against his body, and then you get this another body horror thing where it's like, I kind of felt bad for Freddie, because I mean, obviously he's horrible, but it was like, holy shit, 'cause like the souls start coming out, and you get these like little fucking like baby hands and shit, they're like holding them down is- - And he's got- - And he's got- - Homunculus pride whenever all of your souls fuck. - Yeah, totally. That movie is, that movie is not a good movie, but fuck man, there's some scenes in it where it's like, they made the movie, 'cause of these scenes. - Because of these scenes, yeah. - That's the scene where you've got fucking Joey from the Dream Warriors, and this scene has lived in my head since I saw it when I was way too young. He has a water bed and pulls like the sheets back from his water bed, and there's this like hot, naked model who came off of his poster. He looks at his poster where she's supposed to be, and she's not there, and he looks down, and she's under, she's like in the water bed, and she's like a siren, right? She's like talking to him, you can't hear him, and she's like beckoning for him to come closer, and he does, and then obviously, like-- - Thinking to learn his lesson in three. - No shit, that is like the luckiest of all the guys, 'cause he's like, he encounters two naked women, like models over the course of two movies. That first one was like, and the Dream Warriors, when that nurse comes out of her gown, it was like, is that the same woman? Holy shit. - That's right. - It is, I looked. - It's insane, 'cause she did not look like that in the gown, but 'cause like, when she takes the gown off, it is like, that is a fucking, like, that's a Playboy model. - Yeah, she was, yeah. - But when it's all, and it's like, normal woman. So yeah, I just watched those four, and then I wanted to watch as many as I could, but I didn't make it through five. I could have watched the fifth movie, but I decided I needed to sleep instead. Um, I checked out this final fantasy 11 private server called Horizon 11. It is kind of based on the chains of Prometheus era of Final Fantasy 11. It is good. It is good. It takes a long time to do anything, so it's era accurate. (laughing) I leveled a little bit of Warrior, and some of Thief. I don't know if I'll stick with it or not, but it was kind of fun just to play around on. And then I played a Warhammer 40K video game called Space Marines II. I played that with my sister and my brother-in-law. It's like a third-person shooter with like some really fucking cool melee mechanics and executions in it, you play as Space Marines and you're fighting against Tyranids, which are like the Zerg, and it's fun. - Almost I called again? - It's called, it's a Warhammer 40K, Space Marines II. It's a three-person squad game, which is really rare, but worked out for us because usually, and when we play games like that, we're down a fourth person, you know? They had tried to play it before, and they were telling me that like, 'cause they had to get the third, their third had to be a bot because they didn't have a third person. I just hit my sister up. I was like, "Hey, what are you guys playing?" I'm looking for something. You guys wanna do anything? And she mentioned that. It's like, "Yep, I'll pick it up." But they were talking about how like the bots are just completely worthless. And that game is pretty difficult to begin with, but it's fun playing with them because they like to do things where it's like, "It's the first time we're playing this. "You wanna just try it on veteran?" Or it's like, "Yeah, okay. "Yeah, let's do it." So yeah, we played that for a bit. That was fun. - Cool. - That's pretty much it, man. Tyler, what you been up to? - I have been up to much, but Anna scored tickets to the era's tour. - Whoa, what's that? I don't know what the-- - Taylor Swift concert. - Oh, okay. - It's a big deal. - So she was-- - Those are expensive. Did she sell them? - She got crazy lucky because she was already down toward New Orleans with her boyfriend's family on a trip. And Taylor Swift was also down there. So she just thought, "Oh, I'll camp the website "to see if they open up any tickets." 'Cause they, though, depending on how big the arena is, once they sit up the stage, if they can fit more last minute seats in, they will. So she camped that out and got a $50 ticket slightly off-back center of the stage. - That's awesome. - That's amazing. - Did she go or did she make $20,000? - She went. - Oh, man, I don't know. - She was just excited. - Uh-huh, sure, I get it. But also, I mean, a new car would be kind of cool. (laughing) - I like to pay off a bunch of my dad. - She's got a very wealthy boyfriend. So she's good in that regard. She'll take the experience. - Oh good, that's good. Can she hook me up? Does she have a brother or some shit? - She's got a sister, yeah. - I said brother, but okay. (laughing) - So that was probably one of the more exciting things. And then, but mostly in this bag, I've gotta, since it's our Halloween episode, I've got a trick-or-treat bag for you guys. - Yeah, trick-or-treat bag? - Got a trick-or-treat. Got four treats in here. - Okay. - Or maybe they're tricks, I don't know. - Okay, a dead man's eyeball. - Sorta. I do have a knife. And I'm gonna cut up with these plates. All right, so. - I can't, my glasses are off 'cause my mask is on. I cannot, you are a shvag shape, my friend. (laughing) - I get that a lot. - So if you're doing visual gags. - I appreciate the meaning of explain. - You can just be like our listeners and hear the visual gags. - So I'll complain and be like, "No, tell me what's going on." (laughing) - To avoid spoilers, there is a product, a food product that these people keep in only murders in the building. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember you mentioning that you were gonna do a-- - Yeah, so as soon as I see that, Melissa watches that, she's like, "I wonder how bad that food is." And I was like, "Well, yeah, I had it in culinary school, "but I have not had it since." And then we immediately start watching Frasier. There's a whole episode about Frasier, where he spends $1,500 to get one with his friend and get it shipped in from Spain. And a whole big thing where Niles' son lives with them and he messes it up and they replace it with deli ham and they can't deal the difference. But I went after watching those two things. Melissa was like, "I really wanna try that." So I went on Amazon and I bought some Iberico ham. - Okay, okay. - So Iberico ham-- - In this region? - It's from Portugal. - From Portugal, yeah. So there is a, 'cause this one, 'cause this area, this is from Spain, so there is a small, it's a very small area in Spain where these black pigs, they roam free and their diet is almost exclusively acorns. So it makes them have this very fatty, dark meat that is supposed to be the best ham in the world. They cure and process and they sell big quarters of it, like I said, for like $1,500. So I got like 10 pieces of it for $20. - Okay. - So I have it for us to try. - Nice. - Nice. - So I have first, 'cause of course I get this, Chaco Shiki tries it and she's like, that's pretty good, that tastes pretty poochie. Melissa's like, "Oh, I thought we'd cook it." No, thank you. So okay. - So is it like jerky or like-- - It's cured, like any sort of like other deli ham would be, you know. - Wouldn't it be awesome if both Ian and I were like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna cook that." (laughing) Yeah, you mean that's not cooked? What country did you say it was from again? (laughing) - You want this bigger piece or the two little pieces? - Let me have the two little pieces. - So I'm bigger first. - I'm bigger first. - I'm bigger first. - I'm bigger first. - I can't do a tapeworm right now. - So I'm bigger first. We can try just a ham by itself. - Okay. - So I beroco ham. - I beroco ham. - You beroco ham. (laughing) It smells. - It's almost more like prosciutto. - It tastes like something. Yeah, there's the ham. - It could. - Because, so like pigs in America, when you pick up a pork chop, you see like no marbling head whatsoever. - Right. - Pigs in America have been bred, like the fat almost entirely out of them. So like American pork is known to be pretty fucking shitty. Like even in culinary school, we would do something called barding and tie fat to it to cook, because it's so lean, you know, fat is flavor. So these pigs, you can see the marbling in it. And a lot of people now are bringing pigs over from overseas to cross-breed with American pigs. I try to bring some fat and flavor back into. So then the other I have is another. - That's a greasy meatball. (laughing) - Is manchengo cheese that you're supposed to eat with this? - Sorry, Mandingo cheese. - Mandingo cheese. - Is that what you said? - Manchengo. - Manchengo, mancheng. (laughing) - So if you guys would like to try the cheese by itself. - The cheese stands alone. (laughing) Who moved my cheese? (laughing) - There, if you want to give it a piece there. - Thank you. - So, oh, it's cold. - Yeah, I've kept these in the fridge, just, just cause. - So, a white? - Yeah, it is a white, waxy marined candy, you know, eat the rind. - Okay. - So, manchengo. - Pretty sharp. - Mm-hmm. - That's a nice cheese. - I like that. - So, would you like to try the two together? - I've still got some ham. - So, I'll do that. - So, I'll do that. - Sure, I'll try them together. - There's more cheese. And then I will. I mean, look, just a little baby piece of that. Spanish ham. Thank you. - You said you still had cheese, or do you wanna? - I'm good. I just, I have enough. I actually already ate mine. Oh, I'm sorry. (laughing) - It's really good, though. It's a good combo. - So, I beer a co-ham with manchengo cheese, supposed to be a combo to have. - I couldn't see why that's the combo. It's pretty good. - That sharpness kind of helps with the fattiness of it. - That is a good combo. I like that way better than, I didn't really like that ham by itself. - It is a lot better than the ham by itself. It needs something to cut through that fat. - I liked it. Very good. - Thanks for that. That's delicious. - Now we've all had a beer co-ham. - Yeah. Too bad it wasn't hanging in the shower where I could just go and cut it with a machete. Second thing. - That sounds like a Snickers, is it? (laughing) - I wish. - Okay. (laughing) - Here is, I've subscribed now to the monthly boxes for Final Boss Sour. - Oh, shit. - You subscribed? - Mm-hmm. - They got you, man. - So, we'll get one every month to try. - All right. - So, this is Blue Raspberry Mango Dippers. So, it is the fun dip version. So, there are level three mangoes in here with a blue sour dip. I can smell that blueberry very strongly. - So, what is that, a dried mango strip as the stick? - Yep, you use the, there's some. - So, yeah, you use the, it's very dried mango compared to what was in the last mango strawberry kit. And then there's the Blue Raspberry powder. It lists to lick it first, but I don't think we want to do that. - Right, yeah. Hey, let me go first. (laughing) My doctor said it's fine. (laughing) - Okay, I didn't get a lot of the powder. So, I'm gonna-- - Just sprinkle some on top. - You could lick it and then sprinkle it on top. - That's true. I didn't think about that. - I can't see, don't worry. I'm not doing this to watch you lick it. I saw it. - Yeah, it's fine. - Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna lick it. - That's a good idea, Dave. - I'm gonna lick it and sprinkle. - Lick it, then stick it. - Lick it and stick it. - That's a good motto. It's a good, I'm gonna give Henry that advice. All right, I licked that. - Yeah, you did. I saw it, it was glorious. - I don't know how to do it. - Oh, that's a lot. - It's a fucking lot. - I can't, I can't-- - It will work. - I can't see. - Like sand to the hourglass. - Well, right. These are the days of our lives. - All right, sour, blue raspberry sour mango dippers. - Oh yeah, that's good. - That mango is better than the last mango. - That's really good. - I still don't like mango, but this is better. - For level three, I figured that would be sour. More sour. - There's more sour. - Chris Katan. - More sour. - Yeah. - How'd it go, like that? - I didn't think I would like this very much, but I do. (laughing) - You all right? - That blueberry powder got me, that is a little bit sour. It's good, though. Oh yeah. - For next week, I will have the first of the level fours, I'll have level four grapes next week. - Nice. - So now what I'm most excited about, treat number three more. Level one, final boss sour, sour colada. Pineapple mango coconut. - Okay. - That's when I saw pineapple, I was like, ugh, yes. - I like coconut, too, I'm excited about that. I've had a lot of mango, though. I'm starting to think that this is a mango company, so it has too many mangoes. - That was mango jerky. - Mm-hmm. - I'm going over here in the white, 'cause I don't want more mango. Pineapple, I've seeded pineapple in there. - Would you mind serving me up some, please, sir? - At all, one moment. - Yeah, yeah, take your time. - Okay, that's gonna come out in a big glob. I hope you don't mind if I touch it. - No, I don't mind. I just didn't want to touch it. - There's that, and it's just some pineapple out there. - I don't put my famine fingers all over it, thank you. - Oh, fuck, I got some of that sour in a cut on my thumb. - That happened to me. - Oh, man, man. - That hurts, that's gonna hurt my mouth, too. - Why do you guys want to try first? - Pineapple. - Pineapple? - Yes. - Pretty sure that's pineapple. - Yeah, that's a little wedge. - The coconut's tough because it's kind of on everything. - Oh, I didn't get one, then. - Ah, damn, that stinks. - Holy wow. - There we go. - I didn't even know I had that cut on my thumb until just now. - All right, there's pineapple. All right, level one pineapple. - Here we go. Level one? - Mm-hmm, I had some coconut on mine. - I had drum blue taste that coconut first. - I got a little of that blueberry powder on mine. - Mine too. - Man, that pineapple's good. - I'm getting way more pineapple after taste. - Yeah. - That's nice. It was all coconut bored 'cause there was coconut on it. - Oh, man, that's super good. That's my favorite one so far. - Yeah, me too. - Oh, really good. - Coconut? - Yeah. - A coconut? - Coconut. - Coconut. - Level one, coconut shavings. - Woo! - Mm. - That's good too. - I feel like this is more sour than the level three mango dippers. - No. - No, I didn't get too much sour on my coconut one. - I didn't either. Maybe you got a concentrated one. - Could have, yeah. - Then the mango piece that I got. - Oh, yeah. It was good, thank you. - Pineapple with the blueberry powder, that's really good. - Mm-hmm. - Damn. - Yeah, man. Those pineapples are my favorite. - I really like those. - Just a bag of those. - Yeah. - Mm. - A bag of pineapple and strawberries. - Mm-hmm. - And it makes your semen taste good, apparently. - I don't know. The sour part, my kids let it out. I mean, lastly, to finish up, if you guys were so inclined, I know we've talked about crumble cookie before. I came home not expecting you to see a box of it, but there was a box of it. So this week. - Oh, these are the ones you buy, the crumble cookies. - Yes. - Okay. - So we want to end it on a sweet treat. Here is a pumpkin iced pumpkin cakey type cookie from crumble. - Cool. There are three pieces that you can have in the last. - All right. - Oh, it smells nice. - Mm-hmm. I'm not big on pumpkin, but this looked nice. - Not either. - Yeah, that does smell really, really good. - Yeah, it's almost like a pumpkin spice cake. - Mm-hmm. - A crumble pumpkin cookie. - Mm-hmm, go. - Oh, yeah. - Almost has like an old-fashioned quality to it. - It reminds me of a cinnamon roll. - Mm-hmm. - I don't know. It reminds me of air freshener. - Go ahead. - I don't really care for it. I mean, it wasn't bad, but I can't tell if it was the icing or the cake. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, I don't. - Can you break off one of them paper towels from over there for me? - Yeah. - Thanks for all these treats, man. - You're welcome. - Yes, please. - Thank you. - Sour pineapple was the hit for the day for me. - Absolutely. (paper rustling) - He's also been a big hit at work when I'm taking him into work. - Oh, the sours? - Yeah. - I mean, put back up my cheese and I berico ham. - Wow. - Did I just lick my finger and swap up the rest of the powder on that plate? Yes, I did. - And you know, that's a sexy- - It's a sexy tail. - No, I'm not. The sour thing is a neat idea. I'm glad they're doing that because I know you did it, like you mentioned when you started bringing these in that since hot stuff's not really my thing, but I very much like sour. - So this is looking all, yeah. - This is perfect for us. Yeah, I mean, I'll be in on it. - Oh, yeah. - Okay. - So I think I should get the grapes I ordered and then I also ordered whatever the next combo bag is, which I think is level three like Kiwis and something else. - Okay. - It was like Halloween themed. All right, that's all I got for treats and tricks. - Excuse me, thank you. - Nice. - Yeah, kinds of good stuff. That was great. - You guys wanna roll out to Nightmare on Elm Street, movie talk? - I do. So I've got a tadpog totals list for a Nightmare on Elm Street. - Nice. - And I've got a tadpog totals list for Nightmare on Elm Street, Three, Colin, Dream Warrior, Warriors, because as Dave mentioned, I think the game is, the game would have come out more around the time of Dream Warriors. - Yeah, it came out after the first five were out, which is why I wanted to try to watch all five of them. However, having watched the first four, like they pulled so much from three, the Dream Warriors. - Yeah, so the Nightmare on Elm Street was released in 1984, which is one of my favorite years for movies and things and music. So, and November 16th of this year will be the 40th anniversary of a Nightmare on Elm Street. - When I was listening, I pulled it up on Hulu. I was like, oh, this game is as old as we are. It came out in '84. - You're only a few months older than a Nightmare on Elm Street, so I thought that was neat. And Dream Warriors was released in February of 1987, which is a weird time to release a horror movie late February. - February, isn't like, especially in that time period, I feel like February is kind of like the dump month where it's just kind of like this is where we show movies. - But it did pretty well. I mean, it was, it's regarded as the true sequel to a Nightmare on Elm Street. - Is it because it's a love story where they do them like a Valentine's Day kind of Dream Warriors? - Oh, you said Dream Warriors is February. I'm sorry. - I was, I'm sorry. - I would have thought that same thing. - No, just gonna fuck part two in general. - I would have thought that maybe Dream Warriors, when I saw that it was February of '87, I thought, well, you know, go with your honey to the movies and see a scary movie and you'll cuddle and, you know, it was late February. So it was after Valentine's Day. - That's so weird. - It was really strange timing, but it still did really well. It's widely regarded as the true sequel to the first movie because the second movie is such utter fucking garbage and super homo erotic, which I really don't understand. I think a lot of that. - Oh, I don't know that the Jim teacher mid-ship? - Yeah, I don't know that mid-80s horror fan crowds are gonna, we're into that at the time. Maybe they were, I don't know. - Now, did you see Johnny Depp's crop top in the first one? I don't know. - I did. - Johnny Depp's crop top makes the tadpaw totals list this week, I'll go ahead and do that. Don't let me forget when we talk about the game. I have a couple of emails from Brad. - Okay. - Brad wrote us emails. He wrote us an email for Time Cop. And then I told him, I responded and said, "Hey, we forgot we're doing Nightmare on Elm Street." So he wrote me another one for Nightmare on Elm Street, but I'm gonna read the first part of the Time Cop email and then all of the Nightmare on Elm Street email. - Perfect. - Okay. - Now, I know you've all been waiting for this. So without further ado, the tadpaw totals list for a Nightmare on Elm Street, brought to you by the following. One, finger glove fashioning montage. One, gloriously translucent nightgown. Nightmare gaslighting one teenage Johnny Depp with feathered hair. One Heather Loggenkamp aka Nancy who looks and dresses and is the spitting image of my high school girlfriend, Amanda, hi Amanda, I know you're not listening, but she was really cool. - But you should. - Amanda looks exactly like they could be sisters. It's really weird. - Even from behind with her shirt off, we can see her tits because they're so large, you can see them from behind. - Heather Loggenkamp has bigger boobs. - Okay. - Let's say those were distractingly large. - They were very large. (laughing) - Back to the list. Sorry, I was thinking of it. - I think that's why she was in sweaters though. - Yeah, yeah, 'cause I think it's probably hard to portray that innocent wholesome girl look when she's wearing a T-shirt with, she has really large breasts. - They're huge. I'm not joking about that scene where she's taking her shirt off, and it's like, I could see them from behind. She's facing 180 degrees away for the camera, and I can see them. - They're there, and they mean business. - They do mean business. - Anyway, continuing on the list, sorry I had to give a shout out to Amanda. - I'm glad you did. - One toxically masculine murder suspect, oh what a feeling, we're dying on the ceiling, finger removal demonstration, Freddy face removal, breakfast vodka. One teacher who later becomes Woody Harrel since Gross Landlord and Kingpin. One classroom nightmare freak out, quicksand stairs, self-kniting bed sheet, noose food, several cases of parental denial. One poster of a cat hanging off a San Francisco streetcar in a Hawaiian shirt. - Yeah dude, I'm so glad you noticed that. - In the sleep clinic, I don't even know what the fuck. - I know. - That poster was so many things going wrong. Daughter pimp slap, one crop top football jersey and tight sweat pants wearing Johnny Depp. Shout out to Tyler, one hidden coffee pot, phone tonguing, one twin bed blood geyser, one hardcore home alone booby trap setting montage, uncannily fast booby trap setting, coffee pot food, sledgehammer food, exploding light bulb food, beds are burning food, rubber sheet, Freddy manifestation, front door window food, and one Christine dressed as Freddy Krueger. Was in Sages acting brilliant, thank you awards go to, Johnny Depp is Glenn for saying morality sucks and chow, chow, chow. (laughing) Did you catch the chow, chow, chow thing? He was going out looking, when they were first part of the movie, they're having a little sleepover and they hear the guy out in the yard. - Right. - They think it's a cat. And Johnny Depp's going chow, chow, chow, 'cause it's the used to say, in one of the commercials for cat food. - Oh, okay. - Chow, chow, chow. So anyway, Heather Loggingcamp is Nancy for saying, I'll bring him out of the dream and you whack the fucker. - Yep. - And John Saxon is Nancy's dad for saying, "There's an unsolved murder "and I don't like unsolved murder." (laughing) And Ronnie Blankley is Nancy's mom for saying, "He can't get you now. "Mommy killed him." And they say you've bottomed out when you can't remember the night before and I think I'll stop drinking. I just don't feel like it anymore. (laughing) - That's my "Dad Pogg" Tedles list for "Nightmare on Elementary Street." - The mom looks like if you got Susan surrounded off wish. - You're team member. - Team member. (laughing) - Wanna talk about this one or do you want me to do my "Dream Warriors" "Dad Pogg" total list? - What are you gonna do, man? - Well, let's go through the first movie first. - Okay. - Briefly. - Okay, yeah. - I mean, I'm sure most people have seen "Nightmare on Elm Street." Have you seen it before? - I had never seen it before. Melissa had. - Tyler, I wanna hear what you thought about "Nightmare on Elm Street." - I feel like this movie is the epitome of you had to be there. - Back when it came out. - Right, watching it 40 years later, I thought it was fucking atrocious. - Really? - There was so much that just, I just laughed my ass off the whole time with the, some of the effects were, okay, like for 40 years ago, the practical effects, some of it, you know, some gross out still worked, where he pushes through the silk screen above her bed. - Right. - Moment. - What's great and loves that? He does love that. - He loves that effect. - Well, yeah, I guess you saw it like six times throughout that movie with that, and then the body bag, and then the bed at the end. The bed, the whole ending had me laughing. - Oh, yeah. - Of atrocious. - Oh, yeah. There's a reason though that you'd laugh at that because it's funny. - Right. - It's not, I mean, to a certain extent, it's made to take itself seriously, but it doesn't take itself too seriously. - Yeah. - And it's okay to laugh at it. - I mean, not much. - Even if you find it, even if you're laughing at it because you find it to be absurd, that's okay. - Like everything about it was absurd. Like the mom's weird reactions about drinking, and then her dad, and then he had the worst combover I've ever seen. - Yeah, but they cut it like straight across, comb it forward, and then yeah, cut it. Cut it like it was hair, damn it. (laughing) - Where's the bowl? Give me that bowl. - Even like trying to explain like Freddie's background was just weird and poorly written. The part where he's like, I'm your boyfriend now on the tongue through the phone. (laughing) - I know. - So Freddie is a pretty superb. - That got me the most was that scene. And Melissa's like, you've never seen that before? No. And I've been seeing on TikTok. I had no idea that the end scene of the mom getting pulled through the window was this movie. - Yeah. - I kept seeing it on TikTok channel. That's hilarious, what the fuck is that from? And then singing in this and knowing, oh, okay. - See, now you can be a part of the conversation. Tonya actually commented on that scene. She's like, I love this movie, and I do too. I love it. - Yeah, it did too. - It's a classic, it scared the shit out of me when I was a little kid. I mean, it was terrifying to me then. Now I look at it and think, man, they really did a lot of work, and this was a good, fresh, well-conceived story, whether or not the acting was very well-executed here and there, but it's got its charm and it still holds true for me. - I love it. - The scene at the end where the mom gets pulled through the front door. - Well, she's like clearly a blow-up doll. (all laughing) - And it's like. - See, I think a lot of that could be like, and wave, where it's like, it's a dream. - Right? - I feel like a lot of that stuff, like it's kind of one of those things where it's like, well, I mean, it's a dream. - Okay, so. - Just the end, whenever he runs flaming, flaming footsteps up the carpet to the mom, is on the mom and then blue lights, charred remain, falls into the bed as old as it is. - That was like, when dad comes in and covers up Fred with the blanket. - Yeah, I'm glad they had a flame retardant duvet just right there. - And then he covers him up and then he's gone and the mom sinks into the bed and there's the blue light. And that, the ending was kind of abrupt. It was kind of like, what the fuck? - Well, and I'm glad Joni Depp talks about like, what Babylonian dream techniques to control your dream. - When she has the anarchist cookbook in front of her of all the house taps, that she sets up in 10 minutes. 'Cause she calls her dad, yeah. Wake me up in 20 minutes. - We were laughing at that card. That would be the uncannily fast booby trap setting part of my list. - Yeah, not even Dragon Ball Z has like this time that skewed. - So I have a weird head cannon for Nightmare on Elm Street that I'd like to share. Back in 1974, they made a movie called Black Christmas. And in this movie, a maniac killer slaughter sorority sisters over spring, over Christmas break. And there's, you know, he kills them before they get a chance to leave, but everybody thinks to leave their left out of the sorority house, but there's like hiding in the attic and stuff. And in this movie, the guy that plays the lieutenant, Nancy's dad in Nightmare on Elm Street, is the lieutenant cop of the town where this is happening. The college town where this is happening. So in my head, I always think, so this guy had to deal with all this brutality in this, and he takes his wife and they move to Springwood, Ohio, start a family, you know, and then Nancy is born, and then they have the Fred Krueger thing happens. And so then he, now he's having to deal, he's dealing with all these kids dying in the town and the fact that they burned Freddy Krueger alive and, you know, all this stuff, and he loses his shit. And by the time the third movie rolls around, he's a security guard with a drinking problem. - He's the worst, his whole life was doomed to fail, starting with the events of Black Christmas. - He's the worst in the first movie, and then he somehow gets even worse in the third movie. When I was laughing about, at the end of the first movie is when Nancy's dad, the chief of police or whatever, is like, tells his deputy, "If anything weird happens." - It's funny happening. - Let me know. And then, like, the deputy, like, stands out in the yard and, like, watches Nancy yell for help from like-- - Breaking windows. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - I told Tonya, I'm like, how many fucking windows does she have to break in that house before someone realizes there's an actual problem? - It reminded me of that scene in "The Holy Grail," where, like, the dad is, like, telling the two guards to watch his son, the prince. And, like, they just are like, all right, so then we follow you. No, no, that's what I imagine. Like, the deputy is, like, one of those guys. 'Cause he is, like, he asks him, like, "What do you mean if something weird happens?" And then dad's, like, "You'll know." - She has to literally-- - He didn't know. - She literally has to set the house on fire. - I know. - Before they're following, like, "I'm better. Go get the lieutenant." - Go get the lieutenant. - Yeah, that was-- 'Cause even then, one, that's the quickest exphyxiation scene I've ever seen when Freddy hangs Rod. 'Cause, like, as soon as he's hoisted up-- - 'Cause I'm like a euphemism. I love to hang Rod, dude. Fuckin' first thing in the morning now. - Choke the-- - Yeah, I'm hanging Rod. I'm hanging that long. - Hey, Nick, you look like a haggard Rod, baby. - Don't cook, choke it. Real fast. No, but, I mean, as soon as he's propped up, he's dead, like-- - Yeah. - Like, that made me laugh, 'cause it's like, "Okay, that was the fastest chokeout I've ever seen." And then, I did, like, Glenn's death scene. - Dude, the blood guy-- - I felt that was cool. - The twin bed, blood guy. - Clearly, they have the room upside down. It's done really well, like, I like that. - I like when they have the-- I like when the EMTs are showing up with the stretcher and the guy's like, "You're not gonna need that, 'cause you're gonna need 'em all." (all laughing) It's like, "That's professional. "That's professionalism. "That's 1984 professionalism I've come to expect." - Did they get it? - Did they get a bucket, you know what I mean? - Yeah, they're using it to, like, capture the blood that's leaking in the ceiling. And now, it's like a pipe, but it's-- - And then, what's a teenage person? (all laughing) - It was Johnny Depp. - Like, God, people, what are you doing? - Even then, even then, before that, his dad is, like, drinking beer at midnight in front of his house, looking at the teenage girl's window. I don't trust that one. - Yeah, right. - And the mom's drinking coffee wrap beside them. Like, at midnight, they're both in their 60s. Like, okay. But then-- - Hey, man, they burned Amanda Depp, okay? - Yeah. (all laughing) - These aren't, I feel like all the parents are never on Elmer Street. - No, they're not on Elmer Street. - They've all been affected by it. You're right. - And it's like, but what's silly is that they all like deal, they all cope with it the same exact way, which is they just get to drink. - To just deny it and drink. - I'm glad they know about that local katya sleep institute. (all laughing) - You think-- - One of them would be like, just go. - The corner's sleep clinic, you know. - Do you think we should move? (all laughing) - We killed that guy, let's all stay here and keep his murder weapon in my furnace. - Yeah, all but even forever, right? - Well, it'll never come back to bite us in. And speaking of keeping things around, not only Tyler was Freddy's razor finger glove kept in the furnace of Nancy Thompson's house. - I guess was never lit since it was wrapped in clothes. - Freddy's bones were kept in the local junkyard by Nancy's dad. - In a Cadillac trunk. - In a Cadillac trunk. - Which is that in the first movie when it ends, that's the Cadillac, right? - Cadillac convertible, that's right. Not a catalytic converter Cadillac convertible. - Yeah, well, let me get a few more, let me get-- - Oh yeah, yeah, go ahead. - I did like, 'cause I felt like Tina was gonna be the main character and they Ned Starked me. - Oh yeah. - So I appreciated that. The sex seemed really random out of the blue because she hates Rod, Rod's gross, talking shit about his penis, he shows up, he's like overly macho and creeped out, and then she's fucking-- - And then they make up and everything is fine. - Yeah, I went to high school, that happened. - And she gets murdered. (laughing) - Like I feel like that's super accurate. (laughing) I've seen that happen at least six times in my life. - But I mean, listen, you're hearing him fucking, you can hit Johnny Depp, his-- - Oh Rod, oh Tina. - Oh God, no high schoolers are fucking that way. - Oh no, no, no, no, that part's unrealistic. - The realistic part is that guy fucking sucks, but I mean, I'm gonna have sex with him. - All right, that first murder scene with her being pulled up to the ceiling, that was good, I appreciated that. But overall, whenever you like the second movie, the second movie sucks, it's like, all right, good. I'm not watching another one of these. - No, I wouldn't watch this, I wouldn't recommend anyone watch the second movie. The second movie's a bad movie. It is a bad movie. - Yeah, it's a bad movie. - It's real bad, and West Craven wasn't really involved as much and it was just all, I don't think. - Yeah, I don't think he was in it at all. - I don't think so. - Other than to say, this is West Craven's Freddy Krueger. - I don't even know if it's that, to be perfectly honest. - He was just, but in the third movie, he dream warriors, he is a writer and producer. He does it direct, but he is heavily involved, which is a good thing. And I'm curious what you would think about some of the later movies, because also Freddy versus Jason. - I have seen Freddy, that's the, before this, that was the only very movie I've seen. - I like Freddy versus Jason. - I need to re-watch it, because I didn't like it when I first saw it, but then again, I hadn't seen a, Freddy versus Jason came out like so much later than the movies. - Right, and it was more of a fan, it was more for the fans, 'cause it had been theorized for years, you know? - It is amazing that it got made. - Yeah, it really is. - But yeah, I need to re-watch that one. - Well, like I said, I have a list of tadpawg totals list for Nightmare on Elm Street, Colin Dream Warriors. And I will read that list now if you will indulge me. - Of course. - The list begins as it should with two boobs, Maxwell House Product Placement, Diet Coke Product Placement, Elmer's Glue Product Placement. Heaping spoonful of instant coffee powder chased with Diet Coke poisoning. - Right? - Patricia Arquette takes a spoonful of Maxwell House instant coffee, pops it into her mouth, and then chases it with Diet Coke. And that's the face she makes when she does it. So I think she really did it. One furnace o-bones, grabby bathroom faucet handles, teenage suicide, don't do it. One Larry Fishburn based psych hospital nurse. And yes, that's Larry Fishburn. Before he started going, no, it's Lawrence. He just was going by Larry at the time. - In the credits, he's listed as Larry Fishburn. - Nick, you came in at the end of the movie and she was like, is that Lawrence? Fishburn's like, yeah. - Is that all Larry Fish? - Yeah, Larry Fish in this movie. Patricia Arquette, scalpel slashing, one gray streak on the wrong side of her hair. Had her logging camp. The streak was on the wrong side. - I didn't notice the streak. I noticed the streak, I didn't realize. - So you know, in the first movie, she gets so scared. - The hair, the hat. - In the sleek clank, in the hat, she gets-- - She brings it back. - The streak's on the left. In this movie, it's on the right. I feel like they should have caught that. If I'm wrong, I'll admit it, but I don't think I'm wrong. - Maybe it's like a Santa Claus thing where she colored it and the other side just went gray. - Maybe. A obligatory Ferrari poster, not so obligatory, Rundi MC poster. One mute, but no less horny teenage boy. One melty tricycle. Patricia Arquette, partially devoured by Freddy Walsnake. Even more teenager gaslighting than the first movie. Knock off dungeons and dragons playing. Coat classic product placement. Wheelchair bound, dungeon master, muscle tissue, marionette death. Dick Cabot based, Zha Zha Gabor slashing. Freddy possessed, TV head smashing. Massive mohawk sporting. Sexy nurse sex that turns into bondage with extra long human tongues. Queen sized bed slash portal to hell. Freddy Krueger, one Freddy Krueger origin story. Chest carving, text messaging, stapler assault, frequent Patricia Arquette screaming. One return of Nancy's dad who now has a drinking problem, junkyard bone hunting, mass hypnosis, four straight talk only in here's, armpits stabbing, heroin fingers, one mad max wheelchair, and remote holy stabbing. Wizens ages, acting brilliant. Thank you awards go to. Finally, 'cause he didn't speak much in the first movie, Robert England is Freddy Krueger for saying, "Welcome to primetime, bitch." And what's wrong, Joey, feeling tongue tied? And God damn it, I said, "Where's my fucking bourbon?" Another award to Stacey Alden is nurse Marcy for saying, "Do you like my body, Joey?" Nan Martina as the nun slash Amanda Krueger for saying, "Freddy Krueger, the bastard son of 100 Maniacs." That's my favorite line in the whole movie. Freddy Krueger, the bastard son of 100 Maniacs. And if your only faith is science doctor, it may be youth that's laid to rest. She was great, she was great. And then Ken Segoes as Roland Kincaid for saying, "Let's go kick the motherfuckers ass all over Dreamland." - Yeah, his voice is so funny because it does not match him, not at all. - It's a big muscular dude, Andy. - Talks like this the whole time. - Yep. - He's very, very stereotyped, it's rough. But anyway, that's my tadpocked host list for Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors. Talk to me about it. - Well, so the first one ended with the Freddy Kr capturing all the kids. So what's the real ending? So they resolve that in three. - They don't resolve any of the endings ever. - They don't ever resolve the endings. But what we're supposed to understand here is that in Dream Warriors, Nancy has gone to college. Now she's in school and she's an intern at a juvenile hospital for troubled kids that have tried to commit suicide or are on drugs. - Okay, so she survived. So the ending was the mom's dream. - She's on a medication now called Hypnocil, which is supposed to suppress dreams. And so she has been taking this medicine to suppress her dreams and thereby keeping Freddy Krueger at bay. But all these kids who apparently are the kids of more parents who were in on the whole Freddy Krueger burning thing that are in this psycho concept. - You can buy that because it's like, there really haven't been that many. You know what I mean? - True. - I mean, you're not wrong. And I mean, in the later reboot of the series in the reboot, there was a lot of parents involved in that. - I need to see that. I haven't watched the remake. - It's good. It's not as good to me. It's way more serious. It has a whole lot less slapstick and a whole lot more serious. - Which I feel like is a misstep. - In my opinion. - I agree that it is a misstep. - One of the things that makes this franchise great in my opinion is how lighthearted it is. - So in the theory it is. - The thing that really is kind of the biggest difference in this one is the fact that Freddy Krueger in this one, who was not played by Robert Englund in this movie, it was a guy named Jackie Earl, Jackie Earl Healy played Freddy in this movie. - What? - Is that the guy who plays Rorschach? - Are you sure? - Okay. - I mean, double check. Now that you've questioned me, I've got to double check it. - Because I did thought, I did thought just in random roll-a-bartic knowledge, I thought I had seen that guy as Freddy at some point in time. - Yeah, Jackie Earl Healy plays Freddy in this movie and that came out in 2010. - Oh, in the remake. - The remake. - Oh, okay, I'll let the say, okay, yeah, all right. That's, okay. - I thought you were talking about the Dream Warriors. - No, no, no, I'm sorry, if I wasn't clear on that. Yeah, Robert Englund plays Freddy all the way up to Freddy versus Jason and they reboot this in 2010. - I just misunderstood you. - Yeah, and Jackie Earl Healy plays Freddy in the newest, the reboot. - I feel like that's also pretty good casting. - The biggest difference, it is good. He's a really good Freddy Krueger, but again, this one is a lot darker. Like, it's still just as gory and violent, but it doesn't have that humor. It's very dark-- - Helped all dogs both in the windows. - One of the biggest differences that makes it so much darker is the fact that as opposed to being a child murderer, he's a child molester. And he was the janitor at the kid's school and molested all the kids. Or all the kids said that he molested them so the parents ganged up and burned him alive and he had sworn he didn't do it. And so, in a way, at the beginning of the first hour or so of the movie, you're feeling pretty sympathetic for the guy, like he was wrongfully murdered. And so now it feels like he's justified in his revenge, but it's just darker in every way. And they changed the story and stuff. And it's like, I don't know, I would say see it for yourself because it's a lot, it's more scary. Like, it's more of a horror film than just kind of a gory film. But still pretty good. I do, I wasn't saying, just check it out. I give the new "Nightmare on Elm Street" three and a half stars. Just having seen it a few times. But "Dream Warriors." So one of the things they find out, though, that they can do is with the help of Patricia Arquette's character, they can all come together in the same dream. And in their dreams, they can fight and have, you know, like a wheelchair-bound kid can walk and he's like a wizard. - Oh, so that's why there, you can be four people in the NES game. - Right. - That's kind of where I was going with that, exactly. And one of the things they have to do in the movie is find Freddy's bones and bury them. Like, give him a proper burial so that he gets dealt with. And he leaves the dream world or whatever and is now banished to hell or whatever for good. So, and in the game, you gotta find all of the bones. - Oh, it's so fun. So good, getting those bones. Anything else about the movie? The second, the, either movie? - I did look up some trivia. - Okay. - So this, the first one, saved New Line Cinema. They were about to clear bankruptcy until this was a huge hit and it saved New Line. - It was a big deal. Everybody was all about Freddy Kerger when it came out. - And Heather Lagenfield, when she has her back turned, body double. - Oh, you just gotta destroy everything? - I didn't want that, I didn't want to know that. I didn't want to know that. - So you guys talk about the game? - They made a game for the NES. - Made by Rare, one year before Battle Toads, like four years before Donkey Kong Country, published by LJN in I think 1990. It is an action platformer that takes place on Elm Street. It is reminiscent of a game that came out later, called Virtual Bart. - Oh yeah, you get your street hub world, yeah. - You do have your street hub world and then you play as one, two, three, or four teenagers on Elm Street. They can play simultaneously with the NES 4 score, a controller adapter. It is simultaneous, you know, it is simultaneous play, which is not a thing that I'm used to seeing outside of Bomber Man. - Yeah. - Especially for the NES. - Especially for the NES. You had to collect Freddy's bones, like you were saying. - You're all comical dog bones. He's made entirely of dog bones. - Yeah, there's no ribs or dog bones. - Yeah, he's just dog bones. - Just dog bones. - And once you collect all of the bones in a level, you fight Freddy, and then you go to another location and collect more bones and then fight Freddy again. - They're various bosses. - Yeah, and I feel like they pulled, they're kind of all the same, but at least one is like the Snake Freddy from Dream Warriors, which I think Dream Warriors had incredibly good practical effects. Some of it's laughable. - But Snake, Snake Freddy. - The Snake Freddy looked really fucking good. I wanna know how that was done. - Yeah. - It was Marionette Freddy. - Marionette Freddy. I also thought it was very well done. - And Skeleton Freddy. - Skeleton Freddy looks like something right out of Army of Dartmouth. - Totally. - Which I think would have been like awesome if it had been in the Dream World, as opposed to in the real world. - Yeah. - Yeah. - See, Freddy's bones fight back at the end of the movie, but they go to burying him, Freddy's like, Freddy like realizes what they're doing, so he like possesses his bones and comes as a skeleton and fights with the dudes that are trying to bury the bone. - One of which is Nancy's dad, a piece of shit dad who tries to-- - Fresh off a bender. - Tries to leave. (laughing) - So this game being one, a movie game. - Yeah. - Two, having the LJN brand right on it, three being the Angry Video Game Nerd covered it 17 years ago. - Damn. - I did not expect to sit down and play this and love it. - It's a pretty good game. - I fucking thought this game was, it's the most fun I've had with the NES game on this show in a fucking minute. - Right, pretty good. - I did not expect that. - Cool. - I liked it too. I thought it was really interesting. I think it's neat that there's an awake and dream cycle. - That is cool. - There's a meter that you have, that's your sleep meter, it starts full and then it starts to just gradually empty. If you're standing still, it empties faster, if you're moving around, it's slower. - Which is cool because if you're moving, it's harder to fall asleep. - If you pick up coffee, it refills, but if it becomes empty, then you enter the dream cycle where the levels are essentially the same, but they're different enemies. Twisted versions of, instead of like regular rats, now they're like rats with Freddy's face. (laughing) - The spiders with Freddy's face on them creeped me the fuck out. They were creepy as fuck. - Flaming zombies instead of regular zombies. - Right. - And then you can-- - Skull bats, instead of regular bats. - All right, then you can also use your dream warrior power-ups that you picked up. You can, whether it's the shadow warrior, which is a ninja, and then there's an acrobat. - Oh, I thought that was just like an athlete. You can throw a javelin. - Yeah, maybe it is an athlete, I don't know. And then a wizard or necromancer. - This is, again, very cool tie-ins to the dream warrior movie. - Yeah, I think I got it. Honestly, I could have kept playing it. I wish I had started with it earlier than I did. - Yeah, me too. - I got to the boss of the junkyard, and that's where I ran it, it continues. - Pretty generous, continues. - Yes. - You get five lives-- - Five lives, and three continues. - Yeah. - Which is nice. - And it's not a hard game to pick up and play. I'm terrible at games like this, as I've said several times in the past, but I did appreciate it. And I thought despite the fact that, you know, this is eight-bit, kind of almost monochrome, it still, I thought, Freddy looked like Freddy. You know, they still did a pretty good job of making it look like the stuff, you know? - Yeah. - I liked it. - Good music. - I thought it was cool. It had great music. - Yeah, I liked the music a lot. I remember a neighbor of mine had this when I was in second grade, and I was afraid I was gonna get in trouble for playing. - It also reminded me a lot of monster party. - Sure, I could see that. Yeah, weirdness level. - For sure, just how the levels will in bird and then. - Yeah, at first I didn't always-- - Your eyes moistened. - Yeah. (laughing) - I didn't know what was going on when the game started making the dream thing. It was like, what the fuck is happening? And it was neat. - Yeah, and the downside of being in the dream cycle, I mean, it's great because you can be a dream warrior, but Freddy can get you. - Yeah, it's kind of random. Just, you know, after a certain amount of time passes when you're wandering around in the dream version, it'll be Freddy's coming. - You're in a boss fight. - You're in a fight. - I didn't know you're fighting them. - After Freddy's, there's a very tiny TM. - The TM? - Yes, I did. I forgot to read it, I forgot, but I meant to mention that too. Yeah, the TM, don't forget, this is trademark, Mulan Sonoma. - Freddy was pretty fucking easy. - He either run into, but he wouldn't hurt you. He'd only hurt you if he hit you with this claw. So, yeah, the easiest part is when Freddy's coming for you. - It is. I have some email to read about the game. This is the Time Cop email, which I will finish next week when we do Time Cop, but this is Brad's first email for the week. What's up? I went to the Arizona Cardinals NFL game with my father-in-law on Monday. That's, which is awesome. That's fucking live football games are so much fun. My first live football game since 2005. So, so long ago, the home team I saw back then, no longer plays in that city, and the stadium has been demolished. NFL games are so loud now. I guess fans don't know they should make noise when it's third down unless a DJ plays the intro to Bulls on Parade or Hell's Bells and Screams. Third down, make some noise. This is true, I'm third down. It's like the, just about every game you go to on third down, the crowd goes wild to try and make so much noise that the opposing team can't hear the calls being made and maybe it'll go off sides or, you know, whatever. Brad continues, I was trying to get a video of the halftime light show to send to my wife and a woman who was practically falling out of her top, jiggled her way up the stairs to the concourse within frame as I'm taking the video, making me look like a total creeper. Oh, well, right? I'd share it if I hadn't deleted it. Hell yeah. So that's the not time cop part of that email. Now we're going to the Nightmare on Elm Street email. Brad continues, I feel weird because I'm writing an email you will read on air before the one I wrote two days ago. Here's Nightmare on Elm Street from the August 1990 issue of video games and computer entertainment. A Nightmare on Elm Street, LJN. When writer, director, Wes Craven unleashed the original a Nightmare on Elm Street movie back in 1984, no one could have predicted the popularity of the film's horribly scarred villain, Freddy Krueger. Like any self-respecting cinema slasher, he keeps coming back. This time he's the master of ceremony in LJN ceremonies and LJN's latest NES cartridge. Up to four players can participate in the battle to free Elm Street from Freddy's diabolical clutches. As a teenager whose dreams are troubled by frighteningly real visions of horror, courtesy of you know who, you must visit each building on Elm Street and collect Freddy's bones, which will later be tossed into the school's furnace. On the way, you'll meet the usual assortment of creatures including bats, rats, zombies, and giant spiders. Naturally, there is one other complication. If your on-screen sleep meter runs out, you'll doze off an inner nightmare world where Freddy's influence is immediately apparent. The locations and obstacles are all exactly where they were when you were awake, but your opponents have become Freddy's pets, many of them with little Freddy heads in place of their own. And of course, there are infrequent encounters with the man himself. Like the ready set ghost screams in the old Wizard of War arcade game, Krueger's appearances are heralded by huge letters that scream Freddy's, T.M. Coming. He may not be wearing his trademark red and black striped sweater, but there's no mistaking that razor clawed glove, particularly when there are oversized duplicates of the glove bursting out of the ground beneath your feet. Those things killed me a lot. I was terrible at avoiding the razor claws coming out of the ground. - They're tough, for sure. - And it's incarnation as in any as cartridge and nightmare on Elm Street is basically a horizontally scrolling beat 'em up game, like a double dragon without the martial arts angle. Though your character came only punch, jump, and duck, you do have the option of becoming one of the three dream warrior characters during the nightmare sequences. These alter egos have special powers and can throw weapons, making it easier to defeat your opponents from a distance. I have to admit that this game is much more fun than I expected it to be. I'm instinct, this is like Tyler wrote this. I'm instinctively suspicious of any video game that's based on a film or TV show, but Elm Street is a successful merger of two different entertainment mediums. Most important, the gameplay is good enough to stand up on its own. The sharp, colorful graphics are instantly appealing and the varied music sets the mood with the themes that are scary but fun. As in the films, the special effects are important. The movie-like wavering of the screen that occurs when entering or leaving the dream sequence is particularly impressive. Best of all, your on-screen character is extremely easy to control, which I agree. The controls were easy to use, the jump was good. I felt like I knew where I was gonna land when I jumped, which is not the case for me most of the time. There's never a questionable moment where it seems like the program responded unfairly. If you're killed, it's always because of your own mistake and such mistakes can be corrected the second time around. Smooth, quick, and responsive, it plays like every video game should. At the Consumer Electronics Show in June of 1988, LG had announced the licensing of the Elm Street name and Freddy character for an NES game. The promotional materials they distributed looked extremely promising with highly detailed screenshots and a written description of the game where you controlled Freddy Krueger. Two years have passed, and that germ of a game concept has been turned inside out. Happily, the final version of a nightmare on Elm Street is a pretty decent game. A lot of people are sure to buy it because of the name alone, so it's a relief to find that there's more to it than Freddy's pretty face. So, it got good scores. It got a seventh for sound and graphics. Playability got a nine, and overall, it got a seven. Brad continues, "I also enjoyed the cover of this issue." Ian, please do a Michael Jackson impression here. Hee hee hee. And there's a picture of Michael Jackson from Moonwalker. Oh, on the cover. On the cover of the issue. So, there's your Michael Jackson impression. So, thank you, Brad, for that lovely email, those emails. I'll pick up your first email next week when we do time. What he reminded me when he mentioned finding coffee to fill up your sleep bar again. Reminded me of Nancy's mom taking all the coffee stuff out of her room, and then her pulling out a full-size coffee maker that was on with fresh coffee. Yes. I wonder if that in my list was a hidden coffee pot. Yeah, but it was up, it had brewed a fresh pot. It was ready. He's ready to go. And it always seemed like, I guess, it's the type of bottle, but the liquor bottle the mom is drinking of seemed perpetually cold and frozen, like she just pulled vodka out of the freezer. It was either that or it was rum. I don't know, 'cause those rum bottles tend to be white, you know, but either way. Do you guys have any achievements? Yeah, I have exactly five achievements. And I bet you're gonna know really quick what they are, what all of them are after I do the first thing. My first achievement is one, two, Freddy's coming for you. And to get that, you encounter random Freddy Tiam and survive. My second achievement is three, four, better lock your door, be unable to enter a building and die outside. Never knowing why you couldn't get in. I never did figure out why I couldn't get into some of the building. Man, that's honestly, like, that's a super frustrating thing about this game, is it's sometimes hard to get into locations. Like even when you can get into them, you have to be like lined up just right in the right spot. And there's so many enemies that it's hard to get lined up and also to know if it's locked or not, because the locations are randomized whether they're locked. So it's like, 'cause sometimes the first house will be open. Sometimes that first level is actually the third house. So it's like one of the situations. I stood in front of the high school and tried to get into the high school and I kept dying because the thing was dropping rocks on my head. Right, when you're trying to get in. You can't shoot up. When I was trying to get in, so I was like very confused as to what was going on. I wish they would have made it very obvious whether or not you can enter a building. I agree. That would have been that way. That would have made the game better. My next achievement is five, six. Grab your crucifix. To get that one, you find all of Freddy's T.M. bones. Seven, eight, better stay up late. Is my next achievement? Start playing this game for your podcast that discusses old video games the night before the episode airs. Nine, 10, never sleep again. Is my final achievement as you may have guessed. And to get that, you have nightmares about the spiders with Freddy's head because even in eight bit that shit was fucked up to me. And that's all I've got. I have three, the first of which is they check in, but they don't check out in order to unlock. They check in, but they don't check out. Find a bug in the game and write a letter to Rare to report it. Second achievement. Welcome to Primetime, bitch. Which was an ad-libbed line. Right, okay. Which I think is great. Oh yeah. That's when he's really getting into it, right? Yeah, I think the original line, he was just having a problem saying it. It was something along the lines of like, it's time for the big show or something like that. And he asked if he could do the line, if he could just do a line. And he said, do you have one that's better? And he's like, yes. And then welcome to Primetime, bitch is born. In order to unlock, welcome to Primetime, bitch. You lose your last life and bang your head against the TV in frustration. The last achievement is, how's this for a wet dream? In order to unlock, how's this for a wet dream? Stop playing the game when Freddy's coming, starts flashing on the screen. (laughing) And that's it. Nice. Tyler. I've got four. First one being, I'm not an Imagineer. Do that by beating a boss as your base regular person, not taking on a dream or your persona. I got that one. I didn't, 'cause I was like, how can I, oh fuck yeah, I'm javelin, javelin, sweet. Let's see. Throw in it back for more bones. Hell yeah. It's sexy. Yeah, it is a sexy one. And that is when you get to the end of a level, Raj, you missed a bone at the very, very start, had to backtrack all night. Oh, I love that. I got that one too. At least twice. I think he was watching me play, guys. How about that bone that was hiding in that spider web? Do you guys know what I'm talking about? Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about. I was going around that level, like I got the one fucking bone left, where is it? I went back and forth like twice. And I was like, ah, they've hit the white bone and the white spider web, diabolical. Well, bones and spider webs are both white. (laughing) It's true. It's true, it's accurate, it's real, it's movie accurate. Also the spider webs are going at like a 45 degree angle. The bones are the same angle. The bones are the same angle. (laughing) Fuck you guys. (laughing) My third one is, what about the ROUS? The rodents of unusual size? You kill 40 rats. (laughing) Nice giant as rats. Yeah, it's fun to punch 'em. (laughing) You got that big haymaker. Yeah, it like docks it back. (laughing) And the last one, say anything, find 10 stereos. Nice, I like that. And that's how you get out of the dream realm as you find a stereo. Right, okay, good ones. I liked all those. How much do you think you pay for this game if you were to buy it today? It sounds like it was probably pretty well sold. I bet it sold a lot of copies. Especially considering that this is one of those where despite having the game having been released so far after the original movies came out, this is one that I feel like people were waiting for, like they were excited. Oh, finally we're getting this kind of thing. So I bet it sold a lot. So I bet it's out there, I'd say $9. $9? Yeah, what do you think, Tyler? I'll double it, give it to the next person. $18. $18. Actual retail value of a nightmare on Elm Street for the NES used on average according to pricecharting.com at the time of this recording is $63.25. Damn. Wow. Yeah, it does have popular on it. TM. (laughing) Popular franchise. Popular franchise, well, a good game. All of, has all the things going for it, so. That's crazy, that's one of the more expensive ones we've seen. Yeah, that's pretty, that's high up there. Yeah. What do you think Fopsie Jr. has to say about it? Well, I wanna say it's common, right? It makes me want to, I mean, for $63. Could you imagine a $63 common game? No. It was pretty late. It came out in 1990. That's pretty late for the NES. So typically the later a game comes out for the NES the less were made, the fewer were made, less fewer. But it is Freddy Krueger, that's the other thing. It's like, 'cause it's like, yeah, it's Freddy Krueger. It's 1990. I would think that they would make a lot of that. But that'll, but I don't know. (laughing) I'd say I-- I could at least go uncommon. I'd probably land on uncommon. That's where I was kind of-- I'll give it to be made for very uncommon, but I feel like split the-- I know, I doubt it's very uncommon. I don't know though, man, that price is what's fucking with me. That's all, fucking why. I think, but keep in mind, we've seen other games from popular franchises-- Yeah. Be high, because they're from that franchise. I'm trying to remember what Super Nintendo game we did that was like, wow, that's really expensive. And it was based on a, like a movie, like a collectible movie franchise. And fucking Nightmare on Elm Street is a-- That's a collectible franchise. Like people fucking collect that shit. It's gonna be uncommon then. So it's light, skew a little bit, and say uncommon. I agree. How do you think it was reviewed? What do you think the star rating is? I'm gonna go with my gut here and the impression we had and the impression that was almost word for word the same from the article that Brad sent. I'm gonna say three and a half stars. I know it would probably be a good number, wouldn't you? I could see that. Three to three and a half is what I thought. I mean, I think it's a good game. Does Flopsy Jr. tend to be as generous as Flopsy is? We haven't really spoken to Flopsy Jr. enough times for me to really know that. That sample size is pretty small. I don't know. I mean, they were raving about it in that one magazine article, right? I mean, it seems like it would be hard to say, I doubt it's less than three, but I would say probably that'll skew towards the same kind of mentality. It's three and a half. I'd say three and a half if y'all are okay with it. I'm good with that. Okay, three and a half on common, common three and a half. On common three and a half. Okay, according to Flopsy Jr. AK the ultimate Nintendo guide to the NES library, 1985 through 1995, believe it or not. By Pat Country, courtesy of a mysterious shadowy benefactor. That's not from a mysterious shadowy benefactor. Oh, I'm sorry, from big dick pie baker, Chris Vaughn. Old habits. Yes. A nightmare on Elm Street. Availability common. Shit. Damn. Four stars. Wow. Common four. Common four and $63. Yes, sir. Yes, indeed. That's fine. So the nerd was just way off putting this in his garbage game pile 17 years ago. Yeah, I think a lot of his, I don't watch a lot of his stuff, but isn't a lot of his stuff kind of like parody. I mean, like, you know what I mean? Yeah, like... He's been doing good games as of recently. Yeah. So, like he did Art Bound, I thought when I see six. Like, I kind of always would take his reviews with like a grain of salt 'cause it's like, I mean, sometimes I feel like he's just doing it for the fun. This is the shock, yeah. Yeah. Of saying things like buffalo shit in the mirror, you know? (laughing) He's also not really like a video game guy, right? He's like a movie guy. He's way more of a movie guy. Yeah. And I think Avi, or the... The nerd is just his video game part. That really caught on and took off. That finances his bigger passion of movies. Yeah. The angry Nintendo nerd. Mm-hmm. That's how he started out, yeah. Yeah. Tyler. Yes, Steve. If you gave this game a beard, what kind of beard would you give it? I would have to give it a conglomeration of maggot, roach guts, intrial, snake-like intrials coming out of a body bag from a girl that you've just killed, seeping out of Freddy's face, but in like the best possible way. Hell yeah. Beard. I like that she kept showing up in that body bag. I feel like in the movie, in the first movie, I feel like that was very much a nod to or stolen from an American werewolf in London. Absolutely. Which I did, I watched yesterday as well. Oh nice, I love that movie. I need to re-watch it, it's been a few years, but that happens in that movie where like his friend who dies early on in the movie comes back. It's different, way different. Like he talks to him and like says, well, you know, I would, but you got me killed. Right, you know, he's constantly laying the guilt trip on him. That's a great movie, it is a great movie. Tyler, if you were to give this game a pair of glasses, what kind of glasses would you give it? I would give it 40 pairs of glasses in that they're all broken windows that are barricaded in Nancy's house that she shatters running from side of the house to side of the house trying to get her dad to pay attention to her. The police officer father to pay attention and help her. And fairness, he has the remains of like a blood cyclone to look at. Yeah, Johnny Depp's character was just kind of sucked. You think so? Yeah, he was a very shitty boyfriend. I was expecting knowing nothing about this franchise at all, like nothing. I was expecting him to have a part in bringing Freddie back. He seems so shitty. Really? Just like, I just need you to fall, just stay awake. I fall asleep. Okay, he wanted for it again. Right. What? How are you like being here? You think you wanted for you to get her? Oh yeah, 100%. I thought he was setting Freddie up to get her. Like he's something to do with it. And then because he just, he was mad that she wouldn't fuck him. And he was just no so nonchalant. And he was like, meet me at midnight. Yeah, fine, I'll be here. And he's just like in bed with his headphones on. I figured he was, he was behind it in some way 'cause he just at no point acted like he gave a fuck about her. So. That whole girl friend, not wanting to have sex with the boyfriend thing in a Wes Craven movie, you know, it started there and lasted all the way to scream. Yeah. (laughing) Yeah. Maybe that's why like he gave me, 'cause Johnny Depp and Skeet Ulrich look alike anyway. Yeah, yeah. And I think that's probably part of the reason that Skeet Ulrich got that role is because, you know, he looks like Depp and this is a, you know, a franchise that was coming out of nowhere to blow everyone's fucking mind just like Nightmare on Elm Street did. So there's a lot of parallels there. One of the things that did find funny is, you know, Dave, you mentioned how you wake, how most people don't wake up their child to tell him it's midnight so they can go to bed. It's such a pointless scene in that movie. Because he's wearing his headphones and watching TV and doing all this stuff. But he wasn't watching it. He was sleeping. He was sleeping. But I think the whole point of that scene, 'cause like the thing that I do is when a scene ends, my brain is like, hey, what was the point of that scene? Right. And I have a problem when I don't have an answer. And that one ended and I was like, I think to let us know that it was almost midnight and then my brain's like, they could have shown us a clock and I'm like, yeah, you're right. (laughing) I think it could have been condensed to just like, panning over a clock to like Nancy's window. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was whenever he was listening and you could hear the national anthem playing. Yeah. That was also good enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The headphones he was wearing had a sticker on him with his name. I know, right? And I thought-- Like the label maker stuff. Yeah, label maker stuff. And I thought, I thought to myself, why on earth would he have a name sticker on his headphones? You know, these giant headphones that he doesn't take out of the house probably. I guess she would have known that there is. Well, she found them in the dungeon or in, you know, in the boiler room, all covered in blood and it focused on the, it focused on the name tag. You're right. So that Nancy could know that they were Glen's headphones and it's like, she knows he's fucking dead. (laughing) And we know whose headphones they are. Right. Well, I feel like that was a little unnecessary. I chalked that up to, ah, yes, I have also been bored in the '80s with a label maker. (laughing) Honestly, where I went. Funny, now that would have been funny is if there were Glen labels on everything. (laughing) Yes, that would have been accurate. That would have been accurate. Exactly. I mean, I'm not sure whose brush has a blend. (laughing) I'm sure there was one screen tester who was just like, I didn't know whose headphones those were. I don't know, that was really confusing. Bad, bad movie. Nice, reshoots. (laughing) Who's Glen? (laughing) I didn't like it would be introducing Johnny Depp. We anticipate this kid's gonna go somewhere. So introduce. Yeah, yeah. It's his first movie. 'Cause I had to look up, how old is he now? He's 61. All right, he was 21 when he did this. Okay. All right, well, yeah. Next week, time cop. Yes, for real this time, we're really doing it this time. Phil's in, he had no problem. He thought it was also appropriate doing it the day before the election. So, do a dystopian future before we figure out our dystopian future. Our theme song is "Moots." I think we're traveling to that track from thetronestatapog.com. Hey, you guys wanna close it out? By talking about Patreon. Okay. Which is where we ask for money, please. Money, please. If you'd like to give us some money, you can do that by going to patreon.com/tagpog. For as little as a dollar a month, you get access to all of our bonus content, which is fun, fun, fun. And sometimes those episodes are even longer than the ones we do every week. There's several that are three or four hours long. We made a meal out of Joe Dirt. I mean, come on. You could have watched Joe Dirt twice. You could have. You could have watched Joe Dirt one and two. And the time it took us to talk about part one. But we're crazy. Our crazy shenanigans are even crazier on our Patreon episode. So, if you wanna hear them, give us a buck at patreon.com/tagpog, and you can do that. And we also have some executive producers. They give us $20 or more per month, which really goes a long way, helps sustain the show, helps sustain our bill-paying needs. And now we're really grateful for that. So I'd like to read those names as I do every week. Starting with Cubicle Monkey, Gamebug Prime, Nathan Eaton, pinball, airplane, archmage, Chris Edler. Sorry you couldn't be on this episode. Derek Pope Sandwich comes on his wife, Jeff Meiners. Congratulations on your marriage. He made me correct it to comes on his wife and not comes in his wife. Wait, what's the story behind that? I'm not gonna get into that. Oh, I guess we'll have to ask her. I don't know, do the math. He asked me to change it. We had a laugh, so I did. I changed it and told him that I would read it that way. I said I wasn't gonna mention it, but- We mentioned it, it's fun. I mentioned, no, I mentioned, I wasn't gonna, I was just gonna read it, like change and see if y'all know. Oh yeah, I noticed. I thought you made a mistake. (laughing) Not where he come. Not where he comes. (laughing) (laughing) - Drink Smith, Joey Webster, Sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins, who will be on next week's episode with us for time cop. Louisville correspondent, Princess Consuela, banana hammock, flavor trick, Karen Dahl, but not the Taren from Dream Warriors. There is a Taren, the one with the giant Mohawk. - In Dream Warriors. - He dies by heroin syringe fingers. - He dies by heroin syringe fingers to the arm, to the suckling arm mouth. - That yeah, more body horror, more body horror. - That one from, yeah, the later ones, 'cause yeah, those mouths on the arm man. - So creepy. - Yeah, real creepy. - But he kills her by an overdose on heroin. - He, his fingers, so she's- - That's probably the best way to go in Freddy's world. - She's a recovering heroin addict. - Right. And when she goes in to fight him as a Dream Warrior, his answer to her kicking his ass is to change his fingers into syringes full of heroin. And then it cuts down to a shot of her arms, which have these like needle mouths, like mouth suckling at it. - Looking for the needles. So he sticks all the needles in her arm and overdoses her on drugs. And then Freddy goes, what a rush. - Canadian Turbo Nerd Thomas and last but not least, Treft Eitri, thank you so much all for your lovely wonderful donations. Special thanks out to Brad as always for sending us those nice emails. And I believe that is that. - All right. - It makes more, I like the setup in Dream Warriors with them being in an Institute. - Right. And they all have a win. - They all have a winness for Freddy to exploit. - Exactly, yeah. - They all have a reason for being together. It's not like in the other movies where it's like, well, we're in high school. - We're in high school together. (laughing) - We have Jim at the same time. - Right. - Every day. - Man sure sucks that like one of us dies every day, right? (laughing) - Yeah. - Well I guess in Freddy versus Jason, I feel like they must take him to that Institute. - I don't, I really don't remember. I remember so little about that movie. - Because Freddy inhabits, he possesses one of the kids and they go to that Institute and he brings a fuckton of needles and stabs Jason until he falls asleep. - Hmm, yeah. And then he goes in and fights Freddy in the nightmare. - I do remember that. - But then Freddy comes out into the real world and they fight at Camp Crystal Lake. - Yeah. (laughing) - It was a good shit, I love that movie. It's not great, but I love that movie. - But I mean, Freddy died by fire. He's not died by water. - See? - Get shit. - Every, every end must have its yanning. Every coat will have its Pepsi. Every deep impact must have its abyss. - Or again? - Or again, shit. - Well hey guys, I'm gonna close it out. - I mean, I feel like as Freddy. - Yeah. - Okay. - So until next time. - Tropical Capricorn, bitch. Say that twice. - That's why I didn't say it, 'cause you guessed it twice. - We thought twice. - So then it was really smart accurate. - That was fuckin' smart as shit dude. - You knew what we were gonna do. No shit, man. - Man. (upbeat music) - CAD POG is hosted and produced by Tyler Holland, Dave Moore, and Ian Chandler. New episodes publish Wednesdays each week and are available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, anywhere else podcasts are hosted. Have a question or comment for the hosts? Call us at 270-883-255-5 and leave us a voicemail. If we like it, we'll play it on the show and respond. Want to send us something? You can do that at TAD POG Studios, care of Nicole Nance, PO Box 3785, Paducah, Kentucky, or 2002. If you absolutely must send us a food item, please use caution and good judgment when doing so. Tasty snacks that look or smell funky or are past their expiration date by the time we get to them, we'll be thrown away. Bonus content is available at patreon.com/tadpog with a minimum donation of $1 per month. You can join in on the conversation by visiting our discord at bit.ly/tadpogdiscord. Registration is free and we'd love to see you there. Thanks for listening and if you haven't already, don't forget to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. Now, where did I put that stinger? Oh, here it is. And now an appropriate dramatic reading. I lie awake and dread the lonely nights. I'm not alone. I wonder if these heavy eyes can face the unknown when I close my eyes, I realize. Poetry. It is poetry. You'll come my way. I'm standing in the night alone, forever together. Oh, we're the dream warriors. Don't wanna dream no more. ♪ We wanna dream no more ♪ We're the dream warriors. And maybe tonight, maybe tonight you'll be gone. I feel the touch coming over me. I can't explain. I hear the voices calling out, calling my name. It's the same desire to feel the fire. That's coming your way. I'm standing in the night alone, forever together. Oh, we're the dream warriors. Don't wanna dream no more. We're the dream warriors. Maybe tonight you'll be gone. We're the dream warriors. Dream warriors. Sweet revenge, the bitter end, the time. Break the spell of the illusion, bound together waiting for you. Dream warriors. Nice.