(upbeat music) - Hi everyone, this is Pete Winarski and you have made it once again to the Institute of Success and Goal Achievement and I am excited as I am every week to bring you a fantastic guest that we interview in the areas that will help us to accelerate the successes and the goals that we're attempting to achieve in our lives and our businesses and really help us get up to the next level. In this week, we have Ann Backback with us and Ann is a really fun person to talk to and as you'll see in a moment, and she goes by the name Accountability Coach and has a wonderful book that she's created for the world that we'll get into a little bit, all about accountability, coaching and getting into results because Ann, what is it, results rule, right? - Absolutely. - Excellent. We're gonna have a lot of fun on this call. We'll talk about accountability coaching but also as I do with every guest, we hear a little bit about their own personal success story just to set the context. So if you think about the results you're currently getting, whether or not you're pleased with your career, your business, you may find that you don't have all of the time that you really want to spend on your hobbies or your family or sometimes it's the opposite and I've had years where the opposite was true where things were kind of quiet on my business front but I was really thrilled about how my home and family and my hobbies were going. So what Ann's going to help us as an accountability coach talk about how to get all of that working together and I'm really thrilled and thank you so much for joining today. - Hey, it's my pleasure Pete, looking forward to it. - It'll be fun. - I think so. - I also. (laughing) I know this for sure. You and I are going to have a blast and I definitely do every single time that I'm on the call with someone like this and for the listeners, the feedback is always super, it's always positive and so I have the sense that everyone's going to have a lot of fun listening to this. So Ann, let me start with a little bit about you and your success story and why don't you just give us some context for who you are. My introduction rarely covers who a person really is because there's so many dynamics and facets to who we are as people and usually there's a little tid bit of a surprise in there that I don't know about. - Oh, okay. - So let's see what Ann's background has to say about who she is and frankly, how did you end up as an accountability coach? - Okay, well, interestingly enough and you may not know this, Pete, is that I'm an ex-IBM-er. So I was actually a systems engineer and I really was not in the right place. So I really needed to be more of an entrepreneur because I kept coming up with ideas and ways and recommendations that just didn't fit the mold of corporate America. And I constantly had feedback from my managers who said, you know, you need to learn not to be quite so direct and I thought, well, how is that helping anybody? - Right. - So I just really needed to be down a different path. So I started my own business and one of the things that I did was ended up helping my husband, who is now my husband, he wasn't at the time, Bill Baccrack actually built his business from it was about 250,000 to 1.5 million in a very short period of time. So in order to do this, I had to be extremely efficient and effective. You know, my husband likes to say that I basically did the work of five different people from the revenue generator for the company to creating all the marketing, to interviewing people prior to his speaking or coaching programs. I was a legal department. I trained and coached people using our learning resources, et cetera. So I had to create really good systems and processes to really achieve the goals that I had set. - That sounds easy for someone who's a systems engineer to be thinking like systems all along. - Well, the interesting thing is I have a marketing business degree. So it wasn't even related to the technical aspect of a systems engineer. So it's kind of the best of both worlds in a sense. So, you know, all the resources and learning tools that are available today on my website are really tools that I personally used to help me be effective. And hopefully, I still am effective. - I'm sure you are. - So, you know, these tools and resources now help the people that I coach and those who want to be even more successful, you know, they may not want to one-on-one coach with me, but there's tools out there that will help them do that. And they're road tested. So I'm a believer in what gets tracked, gets measured. So knowing where you are against your goal at any given moment in time is very important to goal achievement. - Yeah, I agree. And what's interesting is in the corporate world, I have some systems that I work with and help companies achieve their strategy and their strategic goals. And oftentimes, too often, businesses identify what they want to be in the form of the strategy and then ends up in a binder on a shelf. And then it comes out, you know, approximately 10 months later when they start the strategic planning process again. And all of that time in between, you know, they're not tracking, they're not measuring the actions required to make the results that they're looking for don't always happen because they're not really doing anything that differently. - Yeah, that's exactly right. That's why, you know, I created basically, you know, spreadsheets and tracking mechanisms that you work on every single day. And you know where you are against your yearly goal at any given moment in time. And I think that's where a lot of, at least the coaching programs that I've talked to other people about that they're in, they do some goal setting and tracking, but it's mainly daily or weekly. They don't have the whole big picture. So they don't compare it ever against where they really want to be for the whole year. So, you know, at the end of the year, what happens? Most people go, oh, shoot, I'm not on track. To achieve my goals, what do I do now? Well, usually it's too late, you know, to be able to make course corrections. But with the tracking mechanisms that I've created, I mean, you can course correct at any given moment in time because you know where you stand. - That's perfect. - Yeah. - Well, I know we're gonna get into that in a lot of detail in the second half of the call, but I'm thrilled to know that you had that background to lead you here and it's always interesting hearing how someone's meandering path landed them in doing some really cool work very effectively and getting into what new levels of success are for them. So with that in mind, I'm always interested in the answer to your personal definition of success. And I ask this to every guest and I get just the most diverse anywhere on the spectrum in terms of answers that come back. So I'm interested in your, let's hear how yours fits in. - Well, I don't know if mine's gonna be that diverse for you, but you know, the bottom line is success for me is really continuing to believe that what I do makes a positive difference in people's lives. So that by spending time with me, they can improve their quality of life and bring more balance to their life. So then they go out and touch other people's lives. So it's kind of like a ripple effect. If I can make an impact, have an impact on somebody's life, you know, hopefully they can, you know, actually take that and have an impact on other people's lives as well. And that's what really successes for me. - That's cool is a forward aspect to it. - Yes, exactly. - Well, I'm not really that surprised because what's interesting is there's, in all of these diverse definitions, there's always some patterns. And one of the patterns is that at this stage of the game, when the people that I'm talking to on this show every week, what they're describing is very similar to yours in that their focus has really come to be less about them and more about other people. - So in your case, you want to make a difference for other people so that they can continue on and carry that forward to make a difference for other people, et cetera. And I'm gonna guess that early on in your career, did you have a different definition of success? - No, I actually, even when I did things in the beginning that were, you know, scary or uncomfortable, I felt like if people didn't respond positively or say yes to work with me, that it was my fault. I didn't communicate properly the benefits to them. - Got it. - Because I really felt that they could be better or have, you know, it would have an impact on their life. So I kind of always looked at it, it was my fault. I wasn't being a good communicator to communicate the benefits to them. - Well that's an empowering place to be 'cause that's taking 100% responsibility for who you are and what your results are. Now very good. So what about an some core values and beliefs that guide you? - Well, to get it, I guess, down to, you know, the wire, I really wanna believe that what I do to me fulfills God's purpose for me in life. So by making a difference and impacting people's lives in a positive way is really important to me and hopefully by that I will be fulfilling God's purpose for me here on Earth. - Very good, so everything falls from there. - Yeah. - Now when we talk about values, are there any things that have come up, maybe situationally, sometimes we're not always 100% clear of some of the values that we have until we're in a situation where they are challenged, that this is where you hear things like trust, honesty, integrity as work. But do you have, you know, that second tier, someone who just pushed you a little bit, you're beyond fulfilling God's purpose for you in life and making sure that you're on that track. What are some of the other core values that have come to manifest in some way throughout your life? That clearly, these are the things that you will not compromise on. - Well, I really believe that I have lived my life with no regrets and I feel sorry when people say to me, "Oh, I regretted this," or, "I wish I would have done that," or, you know, they look back on their life with their regret and I really have tried to make all my, just to actually have made all my decisions based on living life with no regrets. So if I have a decision to make that's, you know, very important, I just ask myself, "Will I regret this?" And as long as I say, "No, I'm good." And I think also one aspect is telling the truth. That's when my IBM manager used to tell me to not be quite so direct. You know, I think the truth isn't always easy to hear and it certainly isn't always easy to say. But the truth typically, I think, is better for everybody. - That's a good one. Yeah, so those are, I guess, two of the things that I, you know, try to not, you know, be movable from my life, from me going forward. - Right, there's a lot of power in that and, you know, I think the idea of living with no regrets is part attitude and I share that attitude and I've often thought about the different junctures in my life and, you know, looking back and really feeling with 100% confidence and comfort that, you know, there are no regrets here. And what's interesting is, you know, there are, there are those things that have happened to me in my life that an outsider's perspective would say, "Well, wait a minute. Wouldn't you regret that or that or that?" You know, I'm divorced, I had an ex-wife. "Gee, don't you regret that?" Well, the reality is who I am as a person is the sum effect of all of my experiences. And, you know, I think that because I have this attitude of, no, I don't regret it. It was something that, for whatever reason, I needed to go through and I am who I am because of my experiences and there was some good that came out of it. That's the attitude side. What you've added for me and which I think is a really interesting question is when faced with a decision to simply asking, "Will I regret this?" And I think that's pretty powerful because I wonder if, maybe subconsciously, I've done that in the past, but, you know, it's a really powerful, and as you're standing at a junction, you have choice A or choice B. You know, "Will I regret going down a particular path?" It's an interesting angle that I'm going to think about some more as I go forward. Yeah, it basically comes down to how the choices and what the choices are that we make impact our lives. And the saddest thing to me is when people say they regret something because they're going to regret it for the rest of their life. And that is sad, I think, for a lot of people because there were some big decisions that they think, "How would this have turned out had I made this choice?" You know, differently. And then they get stuck. Yeah, and they sometimes make the same mistakes over and over, then the next time they do it again because they're afraid, you know, but you just have to, the choices that we make do impact our lives, and you have to go into it with your eyes open and just ask yourself, "Am I going to regret this?" Right. And if the answer is no, you move on. If the answer is yes, then you need to figure out how you're not going to regret it. Mm-hmm. Which is all part of the puzzle, isn't it? It is, it is. And one more question about you and then we'll shift over. Can you tell us about any big goals that you have that are driving you right now? Well, the way I look at it is I'd like to have a viral business that generates a million dollars a year. And this, if I generate this or when I generate this amount of money, that means that I'm having an impact on people's lives. So the more money I make, the more impact I'm having on making a difference for people, personally and professionally. So that's my one big goal. That's a great goal. And let me talk about a couple of things about that goal and some of the studies that I've been part of in doing recently in the whole personal and professional development field. What you described, first of all, I think takes me courage because not everyone would want to hang a number out there for the world to hear and you just did that. So I give you a big pat on the back and standing ovation. That says you're clear. You're very clear that you have this measure stick in mind. And to a lot of people, it's like, ooh, money. Well, no, money's a way to keep score. And what you did in the second half, which is so, I'm so happy you brought this in, is that the number part of it is a measure. But what you're really measuring is how much impact you're having in the world. And my sense is that your focus, especially because of what you said earlier, is not about the money, but it's about the impact on others. Would that be true? Absolutely. I mean, it really isn't about the money. The money you're right is just a way to measure the impact that you have. Right. And then the money allows you to do things like, you know, give to charities or do other things that are meaningful in the world. So you get double whammy. What do you do? You know, you impact people's lives by, you know, having them apply what you're teaching. And then when you make more money, you can apply it in a different area that's needed. So it's almost like a double benefit. Yeah, I've heard a few times from various people. I think Mark Victor Hanson was one, and I'm sure there's a number of others that, you know, to have all of the right values and motivations and purposes to do good in the world is great in and of itself. However, it's limited to what you can do with your own pair of hands. Until you actually have a fair amount of money and capital saved up, then you can begin to leverage and touch a lot more lives. So, you know, I loved having that perspective. And, you know, for anyone who's listening who may be struggling with, you know, Gee, is it okay to have a goal to have a seven figure income? I don't think it's a problem at all. You know, don't let that be the driver. Let's, you know, let that reflect what it is that because you have developed your businesses to enable that type of income for you, what else does that enable you to therefore do from the perspective of how does it serve others? And then let all of the positive benefits of that whole scenario rain down on you. I love it. Thanks for bringing it in. That's what makes me feel good, is making a difference. Excellent. Well, let's talk about how you can make a difference as an accountability coach. And, you know, maybe let's start just in this whole conversation with the definition, you know, I talk about results and accountability and, you know, that language that I've used in my world and you certainly have to, but let's just so that we're on common ground and I'm not thinking that you mean one thing someone who's listening thinks it's something different, what exactly is accountability coaching? Well, accountability coaching in a nutshell, Pete, is helping people to focus on their highest payoff activities that put them in the highest probability position to achieve all of their goals within the timeframe that they've set. So when you're accountable to someone, it increases the probability that you will actually do what you need to do in order to achieve your goals. And the obvious benefit is them achieving all their goals so they can truly enjoy what's important to them in life. That's interesting. So my big long to-do list, you're saying that some of the items on that list may not actually be important in my priorities. (laughs) I think you already know the answer to that one. I do know the answer. (laughs) I tell you, you know, I'm gonna share some of my dirty laundry. I'll create this big giant to-do list. And I know there's three days worth of work on there. And I also know that these three are the critical ones. And then these other 10 or 12 or 15, you know, are important and have to get done at some point. Back to your point about getting systems in place and whatnot. You know, it's so easy to get mired in when you don't have systems in place to make sure that those most important three get done. And I have had those days and where it's, you know, the kids have gone to bed and I'm like, oops, I didn't finish number one and number two on my list. 'Cause it was easy to get sucked into, you know, firing off the emails, making the phone calls, whatever it might have been for items, you know, 10 through 15, which weren't really that important, but or at least from a priority standpoint, going to make a core difference. And then it's oops, you know, and I'm getting them done, but I'm also, you know, up to midnight doing it. - Yeah, you bring up a really, really good point because I end up coaching a lot of people on this because they don't get this as well as you do. They have their list and they are doing the 13, the 14, the 15 because why? It's easier. They think they can get it done in five minutes for in 10 minutes versus the one, two and three that might take longer. But when you take time away from the important ones, that the ones that really have an impact on you achieving your goals first and foremost, then that, I don't care if it's five minutes, 10 minutes or 15 minutes, it takes that time away. By even though it's easy and quick and you can do it, now you're down to, okay, it took me a half an hour an hour away from the things that really impacted my goals more directly. - There are a lot of occasions where I have that hit in my stomach knowing that there's something important that really is going to make a difference that has to get done and I haven't done it and I'm putting it off, sometimes I'm putting it off because life is happening around me and I'm not creating the space for it. When I finally, a week later, two weeks later, sit down and do it, it takes me less than an hour. And it's like, boy, that was easy. (laughs) - Exactly. - And on a day one, what you just said, are you familiar with Brian Tracy's book called Eat That Frog? - Oh yeah, I have a frog on my desk, as a matter of fact, as a result of that book, yes, I do. - No, I'm curious if you nibbled on that frog and you're deaf. (laughs) - Mine's a green little glass frog that reminds me every day, you know, you gotta eat that frog. - That's brilliant and for those of you who haven't heard the phrase or read the book, it's basically to identify that most important, which happens to sometimes also be the most difficult thing that you have on your plate and that's your frog, and eat the frog first. - And it doesn't even have to be that the most difficult, it's just sometimes the thing we don't like to do or wanna do. - Right. - You know, it's not always the most, like you said, it's not the difficult, it took me an hour to get this done, it really wasn't the most difficult, but for some reason, we didn't wanna do it, we don't like doing it, we're not enjoying it, but yet it has the biggest impact on our outcome in the short term. - Right, it's very good advice. So in your book is called Excuses Don't Count Results Rule and just the title carries such an amazing message. Can you tell us why that is so important? - Well, the best excuses in the world, Peter, are still just excuses. And excuses are just another obstacle on our journey to achieving our goals. So you brought up, life happens. Well, life does happen, and we deal with that, but if you continually allow situations to interfere with your progress every time they occur, you'll just never get anywhere. - Right. - So excuses don't really serve anyone well. You know, how would having someone in your life who doesn't buy into your excuses accelerate the achievement of your goals? You know, so many times we let, you know, everybody buys into our excuse. Oh, that's too bad. Oh, you know, but really it's just an excuse. My husband, Bill Bakrak, says failing with an excuse, even a really good excuse, is not as good as succeeding. And I think that's a pretty good statement. - I like that statement. - That's interesting. - Yeah, and results do rule. I mean, you can't go through life if you don't produce results, you know, results just rule. - You know, I'm picturing with a smile on my face, you know, sort of the high school auditorium, and you know, the football player pumping his fists in the air saying results rule. (laughs) Because, you know, what matters to the high school football player is, you know, we've got to win the game this Friday, or Saturday, whatever day the high school team plays. That's the result. It is, we spend a lot of time getting ready to get ready. - Right. - And that's not producing a result. We're just getting ready to get ready. (laughs) That gets in no way. - It's a very active form of procrastination, isn't it? - Yeah, it is, you're right. - So results, you know, people have their own thing that they're trying to get in a lot of times. We fall into this, this, it's not really incorrect, but we fall into this definition of success and results in the spectrum of money or our income or our finances, or sometimes it's the career and it's the corporate ladder. You know, I have, I now have a vice president title, and so therefore I'm successful. I finally achieved what I've always wanted. You know, or I have a budget of, you know, X millions of dollars and so therefore I'm important now, et cetera. And you don't really talk about results in that way. You talk about results in the context of a balanced life. Can you describe for us why is balance so important? - Well, I think so many of us go through life on a roller coaster, and you even reference that. You know, sometimes you're, you know, people have a life that, hey, they're spending a lot of time doing the things they want, but maybe their career isn't where they want, or they spend more time on their career and so the other personal aspect of it isn't what we want. So I think that we go, we basically sacrifice a lot of times one area of our life for another, and then when that area gets better, we sacrifice it for something else. So for example, I can't tell you how many, and I hate saying this, but how many men I've heard over the years talk about working hard to provide for their family, which is a good thing, and then they look back, and this is where the regret comes in, and wishing they had spent more time with their family when they were growing up, you know, their children. So when I work with people, we work on creating balance, so they don't have to look back on their life, and say that, you know, I wish I would have spent more time with my family, I wish I would have spent more time with my spouse, I wish I would have done this sport, I wish I would have done this activity, I wish I would have, whatever it is. So creating balance is really important. Yes, you can work smarter, not harder, the old expression, so you can have more balance in your life. Most people that I work with do come to me in the initial regard saying, hey, I wanna make more money, and they find out that when they work with me, it's all about balance. We focus on eight areas of our life, and it's all about bringing balance, and we're not sacrificing one good area to bring up another. We work on time management and what we can do to really effectively create balance. - I think I just heard you say eight areas of our life, and you quickly describe what they are. - Well, I have a tool that I use that I didn't create myself, and it's basically called the Wheel of Life. And the eight areas that I've defined on these, 'cause some people do it differently, of course. The one area's family and friends, another area is romance, or significant other. One area is money. One area is spiritual development, personal growth. Another area is physical environment. An area is career, or your profession. One is fun and recreation, and the last one is fitness and health. - I like them. - Yeah. - And it's very similar to, I've had seven areas, yours has eight. And actually, as I look at it, I think probably the only one that's a little bit different that's called out is romance. Specifically, which I probably had as a subset of family, or family and friends. And I'm glad you called it out, and it is important. And you're one of the things that my wife and I have done in the past, and actually, it's time to get back (laughs) and I'm realizing, but we would have, on the calendar, we had actually scheduled the first Saturday of every month to have the babysitter come in, and we would have that be our date night. Very infrastructure. I mean, there's other things we do as a family all the time. But that enabled us to do just peat and mary time. And that is very important. And there's other things that we do as well. But it's, because it's called out, the seven that I had, plus number eight romance now, makes a lot of sense, and so I'm making a little note in the margin here of my paper (laughs) to remember that balance includes that too. - Yeah, it really does. I mean, I end up having some of the gentlemen I work with, for example, say, "My spouse loves you." And I'm like, "Well, your spouse doesn't really knuckle me." Oh no, but the more time I'm spending with my spouse, they love it. So we come up with creative ways to have date night. Who's like, you know, one week, it's, you know, you're responsible the next week. Your spouse is responsible for what you do. So you can, that way you can split the responsibility, but also do what each person wants. - Right. Yeah, that's very good. Have you ever read, I'm gonna get it wrong, "12 Pillars"? - No, I haven't. It is a book by Jim Rowan and Chris Widener. And it's a super fast read, it's a wonderful read. And so, you know, you're eight areas. That's the netbook, there's 12. But the relationship part came out. And what you just said about you working with your client and your client coming back and saying, "My spouse loves you." And, you know, one of the messages in this story, "12 Pillars" from the mentor to the person who's learning, you know, it was all about, you know, figuring out what your spouse likes to do. And then just go do that with them. Ask them, "What do you wanna do?" And don't care what the answer is. And just go and enjoy each other's company. - Yeah, I had one gentleman say to me, obviously my definition of date night is different than my wife's. (laughing) What I thought was a date really isn't a date in her mind, so I've had to work that out first. - Right, but it reminds me of a friend of mine who, before he was married, was, you know, every sporting event and every rock concert that he'd go to, he would. And so, you know, when he got married, he was thrilled that his wife would be going with him to these things and he quickly found out that she wanted to go to the ballet. (laughing) So, the date night is not going to the sports game. - Exactly. - Well, that's fun, balance is important. And let me shift a little bit. When someone is looking at their life in one area or the other, or any of the eight really, is not where they want it to be, and they're not getting the results that they want. What's the one most important step that they should take if there is one? - Actually, I think there is. And it's an interesting question. I think what people need to do is really check in with themselves to find out if what they say they want is really what they truly want. So many times, we say, or I hear people say, oh, I want this thing. But, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that. When in fact, it's just a nice to have. And they aren't really willing, I mean, they don't really do the work that's required to achieve that particular goal. So, I think what it comes down to is they're actually okay with where they're at. Now, they may not like it, and may not really want to be there. But they are not willing to do whatever it takes, or they would. - That's an interesting differentiation. - Yeah, so many times, I mean, I think the words willing and will do are just two totally different words that have a huge impact on the outcome. So, your goal should inspire you, and you should really want them. You should want them badly enough to do whatever it takes to achieve it. Or just check in with yourself and say, you know what, apparently, I don't want it bad enough. So, I'm just gonna have to be okay here. That is interesting, you know, the first thing that comes to mind for me as an example is I've had the goal of learning to play the piano and the goal of learning to speak French on my radar screen for the last couple of years. And I've made little to no progress. And I think it's exactly, the reason is this, it's exactly what you described. Those are nice to have, those are around the fringes. They're not the core of what I want to do. You know, those, now, that may shift in a year from now or five years from now. I may decide this is really important. I do want to play the piano, for example. And then I commit to it because then I am willing to actually get the lessons and practice so many hours a week and all that. But right now, I am not willing to spend my available time doing that because I have put other things in the sense of priority. And I know that. You know, so I, they're actually not on my 2009 goal lifts, where they were on my 2008 and I didn't make any progress. - That's what I, that's like, if you were my client, I'd have you having your long-range personal and business goals and we'd put a date on it. And then we always check in and say, okay, you know, are we doing anything that's going to start putting us in the path of achieving that goal? So what will be the first step? And if, hey, now's not the time, we just move the date out. You know, he's course correct at any given moment in time. You don't necessarily take it off your list. - Right. - But you just check in with yourself. - That's right. And, you know, I know that the first step would be to pick up the phone and call someone whose name I already have and say, I would love to have piano lessons with you, which are you taking on another client and then can we start? And I know that that's the first step and I haven't bothered to take that first step because at this instant, with what's going on and what are my priorities are, and this is a conscious move at this point. That's where I am with it. Now, you're right. I can say, you know what? I'm checking in, you know, every few months, six months, whatever, and things have shifted in such a way that, you know, now I'm ready. When I go after something, I want to commit to it and really go. I don't want to do something halfway. And so I think maybe that's the difference with, you know, what you just described, really checking in. And I think when I wrote that goal in '07 and then in '08, it was a nice to have not something that was core to who I needed to be. Yeah. And you can certainly change and course correct and move it out, you know, until you decide, hey, I really don't care about this anymore. And take it off or I do care about this and now I'm ready. Hmm. Well, that's great. So Anne, let's pull out your book. Okay. And one thing that struck me is interesting. On page 43, you talk about removing the words "try and can't" from your vocabulary. Can you tell us more about that? Sure, it's similar to willing to and will in a way. When someone says, I'll try, they really either will do it or they won't do it. So it's really a matter of try. Okay. Are you going to do it or not? So it's just that simple. They will or they won't. You'll either commit to achieving your goals or you won't. You know, sometimes the word "can't" comes out of our mouth way too quickly. I've even been guilty of saying, I've heard myself say, well, I can't do that. When in fact, what I was really saying was, I just don't know how. So when I realized that, well, I didn't mean I can't do it because it can't to me implies that I physically can't do it. So I know that wasn't the issue. So it's like, I just don't know how. So sometimes we say, I can't when in fact it's just I don't know how. So then you have to say to yourself, well, where do I go? Like you said, seeking guidance of somebody that can help you do it or figure it out. Yeah. And you know, the other thing that comes up with the word "can't" is sometimes there's there's choice in here. Yet people use the word "can't" one. What they really mean is "won't." And so to me, "can't" is not an empowering word. It means I'm helpless. I can't do it. I, you know, it's out of my control. When in fact, I think what you just pointed out is what you can if you knew how. So that's the, you know, if you believe you can, you'll figure out a way and the resources will be there and together you'll learn and you'll do what you have to do. And next thing you know, you are doing it. Versus the, when someone has a choice, you know, "Hey, Pete, would you do X, Y, Z for me?" And sometimes the answer is, "Gee, I can't." When the answer really is, "No, I won't." I've decided, and then so you might not describe it that way to the person who's made the request, but what you might say is, "Thank you for the request. I'm not going to do that for you. Here's what I suggest you do instead." What you've done is a very empowering thing. You decided what you would and would not do. Yeah, that's great. I totally am in sync with that. And of course with the question, I'm talking about try and whether or not you're trying versus you're willing to versus will, and the word try comes up. You can't help but think about little Yoda. Do you remember from Star Wars? Yeah, absolutely. There is no try, only do? Yeah, exactly. And that is the truth, though. That's just the bottom line. Yeah, I think you're right. And that's very empowering, and I'm excited that we spoke about that for a few minutes. Yeah, I think it stops people. You know, it stifles them from moving forward when they use words like that. But it also starts to get into the whole theme of the power of our language and our vocabulary. And it's interesting when I journal, sometimes I'll go back and read and say, "Wow." Or even as I'm writing something, "Wow, was I about to consciously write that word down?" That's not a very empowering perspective. Interesting what's going on here, and it gives me the opportunity to dive in a little bit more, you know, and that's with myself. But also, you've probably heard people just in regular conversation. It could be at a cocktail party. It could be when you're in line at Starbucks or something. And it kills me sometimes listening to the disempowering language that people use that make it sound like, "Man, I'm a pinball machine on this thing." And I'm just getting knocked from here to here to here to here. As opposed to using language that would say, "Yeah, here's a challenge, and I'm overcoming it, and here's my goal, my direction, here's where I want to end up." You run into that with your clients? Oh, absolutely. And I think I agree with you. I'm just as guilty, too. I sometimes say that we're trying to really, "Whoops, let me suck that back. I'm just going to do it." You know, I mean, we all hear it. Or, as you said, you journal it. Sometimes you look at the word, and it's like, "That's not really what I meant to say. That's just the way it came out." And you have to kind of rethink about, "Okay, what am I really meaning here? And what do I really want for myself?" So, a lot of times that does. The words are very powerful that we say. And just like, you know, when I'm sure when you're working with executives, you hear these words and you correct them. Right. And you say, "Hey, I'm going to try, well, are you going to do it or not?" You know, it's not about try. You either are or you're not. And if somebody says, "Well, I can't do that." Well, if you could, what would you do first? Mm-hmm. You know, so you just, you have to kind of help people reframe things and reframe their mindset. And you're right. You hear people talk and you think, "God, you know, how could I help them?" You know, increase the positive energy around them. Right. Right. You know, and that's interesting what you just said about the energy that some people bring. You know, there's a big difference. And, you know, we, my wife and I have been through, you know, a number of different professional development, personal development type things are part of Jack Canfield's community. You know, so you get in an environment like that where these are some of the most empowering life forces that you can imagine and just being in the presence of some of these folks and then the participants and you just gel in an amazing way. And then you go home and you run into your neighbors or you run into your family members, frankly, or other friends of yours. And they're using language like what you just described and it's like, "Man, what's up? Why aren't they missing the mark? Don't they know?" Does that, for you, do you experience that and, you know, kind of what goes on in your mind when you are, let's just call it a social setting because I want to take it out of the, you know, you're working with someone. We'll talk about that in a second. Let's just say you get together with some old friends that you haven't seen in a while and you hear language like that. What goes on inside your mind? Well, personally, I actually feel sorry for them. And because I think they're dealing with issues, they may not understand. And I don't think they realize necessarily the impact it has on their life and the people around them. So many times, most of the people I work with, you know, are business owners and entrepreneurs, if they have other business associates, a lot of times, like you said, family, friends and business associates hold us back because, you know, we come back from these events or we come back from people who are motivated and positive and inspiring and, you know, gets us going and we, you know, the outcome that we can see in the future is so cool and it's, you know, pulling us and we gravitate towards it and then we come back home and, you know, talk with family or friends or business associates and they hold us back. Just the terminology and the way I don't think they necessarily mean to. It's just the way they are. It's just the way it is. And, you know, I don't really know that there's anything that we can significantly do to impact that other than to say, "Hey, you know, this is kind of where I'm going to keep, you know, our head on straight you know, our positive energy flowing and not let," because people do suck some of that positive energy out of us. Right. It's just like right now, you know, with the economy, I think there's a lot of low self-esteem, low confidence, low belief. And I constantly am coaching my people, come in every day with extra. You have to have extra confidence, extra belief, you know, because people need to take some of yours. That's a good point. So you can end up being that positive light, the positive force that other people can essentially be attracted to one and then actually gain some of that downstream benefit that you described earlier. I think so. Yeah. Fantastic. Well, can we get into some of the success stories with some of the clients that you've worked with? Oh, there's so many I'm glad to say. Good. Yeah. It's important to say there's more than one, right? Well, and the interesting thing is a perspective on this. When my clients say, oh, it's because of you and I, you know, I appreciate this and, you know, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be successful. Blah, blah, blah. I don't really think it's about me. It really is about them actually implementing and executing whatever the game plan is. So the success stories really aren't, I don't look at because of me. You know, I helped maybe guide them, but I didn't do the work. So the success really comes from the person who actually does the work. And I think sometimes we miss the boat on that. And they should really look to themselves and say, yeah, I did all this. And I'll share one story of a lady who, she actually exceeded her goals on two occasions. I love these. You know, you don't always exceed your goals, especially with me because I try to have them set stretch goals, you know, or bigger goals than they think they can achieve. But in two occasions, she actually exceeded her goals. The first one was that she wanted to hire some people who would work under her, for example, and generate revenue for the firm, which obviously she would take a percentage of. Well, she wasn't really sure how to go about it. She set a really low goal. We then brainstormed all the ways that she could find these people and what to do when she talked to them and how that would all work. And so she executed the plan that she created. She actually doubled her goal. So then we set, obviously you can remember, we can course correct it any given moment in time. So we set a higher goal and she actually exceeded that. So she was shocked, obviously, and very happy. One other time, I'll talk about the same lady, she was asked to conduct a meeting with some potential clients. And we talked about what her goal was for the outcome of the meeting. I always believe in, okay, you know, what's the outcome you want to have and do you visualize it? And what are you going to do to put yourself in the highest probability position to achieve that goal? So we talked about that and I said, well, what would your ideal goal be? So you gave me what your goal was, what would your ideal goal be? Well, she told me and then we focused on, again, what are the activities or what are the things that she would have to do? Who would she have to become, what would things she had to do and to visualize the outcome? When she got back from that meeting, she exceeded her ideal goal. And that's so inspiring to me when those things occur. So she had more people wanting to work with her and signing up and calling her than even her ideal goal suggested. So successful people also do things I think that are uncomfortable and maybe even scary. So when they do, they realize that it wasn't really that bad after all. So for some reason, I work with people that are afraid to ask for referrals, not all of them, but a lot of them. And I'm not sure why that is, but asking for referrals is scary. So I worked with one gentleman on asking for referrals from everybody that he knew. And he was afraid and nervous, but he sucked it up and put his big boy pants on. And he went out and started asking. He executed his plan. And he received very positive responses and lots of referrals to potentially ideal clients. And he did come back and he said, "God, I don't know why I was so afraid to do that." And the nice thing is is when we do things that are uncomfortable and scary and we realized that it really wasn't that bad, the next time something comes up that might be a little bit uncomfortable or a little bit scary that we're not sure of, we're more apt to do it. You know, a lot more easier easily because we realized that, "Hey, the last time I did that, I really was afraid or scared for no particular reason." And the outcome was good. So then we go into it thinking, "Okay, if I had a good outcome on that that I was scared or afraid to do, then this should have the same effect. I should be able to do this and have a positive result." And it's funny most of the time we are fearing something that isn't real. It's not like our life is in danger. We didn't fall into the lion's den at the zoo. You know, it's completely made up in our minds. It totally is. Absolutely. And so what are you afraid of? I don't know. It's just that it's for no logical reason. Right. So let me just touch on a couple of things from what you described. So you have your clients with this super stretch goal. You know, maybe a little bit out of reach, maybe a lot out of reach, but certainly beyond what they already know how to do. You have them create a plan, and then they just work and execute the plan. And then magically she doubled her goal. Sounds easy. Well, it's them executing the plan. Now, I don't think anything is easy, but because you have to stay focused and you have to do the work. You can't just be willing to do the work. You actually have to execute the plan and do the work. But it really is. It's simple. I did this exercise with another lady about referrals. And I said, "You already have this many ideal clients, and let's do a math exercise." You know, how many people do you think each one of these people knows that could refer you business? Oh, I think it's this many. Okay, let's cut that in half. You know, if you think it's five, let's say it's two. You know, let's go with the worst case scenario. And I mean, I tripled the number she wrote down. And I said, "Do you see how easy this could be for you?" And it's just kind of like, "Oh my gosh, I never looked at it that way." Right. It's just changing, you know, a paradigm, you know, changing the way we think of things. It's just looking outside the box or all those, you know, phrases. But that's all you're really doing. Well, I think, and for the reason why I asked the question as I did, "Wow, isn't it? Isn't that, you know, sound so easy?" Is because on the surface, you know, the formula or the steps, you know, are relatively straightforward. You've got your goal. You describe the steps you're going to take. You take the steps. And then if you did everything right, you should make your goal or better. And it's all of the other stuff around that. You know, what's coming up from our internal programming that knocks us off track or, you know, the fear that you pointed out about not having the outcome that you want because you're afraid to take the step. You know, I've been there. I think we've all been there at different points. You know, to have someone from an accountability standpoint making sure that you're on track is a really good way to prevent someone from knowing what to do but failing out. Yeah, it's too easy to give an excuse to ourselves. Very easy. I'm raising my hand in guilt. Well, we all are. We all do that. I don't think any of us are perfect for by any stretch of the imagination. But I love that. And the other same person, the other example that you gave with the outcome that they wanted for the meeting, you know, this is really something that's powerfully insightful that I went through just this past. Even, I think it was earlier this year, but the idea of having an intention moment to moment and, you know, I can say the times that I've actually invested the 30 seconds of mental time to be really clear about the intention that I wanted to create. For example, when going to a meeting, for example, when, frankly, even for your day, you know, to have clarity and say, here's what my intention is. My goodness. That's how it works out. You know, the power of holding an intention. And we even had, you know, an event and during break time, the exercise the request was, okay, you've got 20 minute break, rather than just go on your 20 minute break. What is your intention for that break? Doesn't matter what it is, just that one. And the point was, even during our break time, we can end up with clarity. And of course, everybody, you know, during their break time is grabbing the cell phone, trying to call someone, you know, trying to maybe catch, you know, running, grab a coffee and get back within 20 minutes or whatever, whatever it might be. And oftentimes, back to my pinball analogy that we said, you know, we may leave the room and go outside and hit the bathroom and, you know, grab a drink of water. You know, gee, we got six more minutes and say, oh, hey, how are you today? And good to see you again. What's new with you? And next thing you know, 20 minutes is up. And here we are right back where we were, as opposed to having an intention, which doesn't really have to be that much of a stretch accomplishment just to be purposeful with how we're using our time. I think that's a great way to look at it. I always tell people, you know, what's the ultimate objective or goal? But I love the word intention. You know, what's the intention? What's the purpose? And I think so many times, at least the people that I talk to, I'm just going to do this. Well, what's the reason? What's the goal? What's the outcome? You know, and then what are you going to do to get that outcome? And I don't think many people actually think that way. Right. And it's not that difficult. Like you said, it's not that hard to do, it doesn't take that much time, but what would be the outcome if you did think that way? You know, would you get your, hit your outcome? Would you hit your purpose? Would you, you know, get what you set out to do more if you spent that extra 30 seconds or a minute or whatever it is to create that? Right. Right. That's powerful. And it's being deliberate about it. Absolutely. I like those words. I might steal those later. You can. I stole them. You can steal them. Okay. I'll tell you, I actually, are you familiar with the Abraham Hicks works? No, I'm not. The, the Abraham Hicks book called the power of deliberate intent or deliberate intention. I think deliberate intent. And, you know, it's very law of attraction based and the idea of being really conscious and deliberate about what it is that we want to create and making those choices and, and, and holding those intentions deliberately is, is what helps to accelerate them really coming to be. Yeah, beautifully said. I like it. So, yes, that's the only one as well. But it's valid. And I believe in it. And I think it's true. And I think we, we each could come up with, you know, tons of examples, you know, from our lives and lives of our clients where when they did that, they were pleasantly surprised at the results they got. Absolutely. So cool. Yeah. So, and we're closing in on the end of our time. If there's any one bit of advice or topic that you want to make sure we spoke about that we haven't brought into the conversation yet, what is it? I think that my advice for, for the listeners would just be, belief is my favorite word. And I think that if we go through life believing in ourselves and believing with, you know, what we do and have the confidence that I think things just work out. I think, you know, we have to, I believe is just, you know, for the last, I don't know, five years, it's just everything to me comes down to belief. What do you believe in? Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in what you're doing? Do you believe in how you're doing it? Do you believe in how you deliver it? And I think belief is, is just a very, it's a big word that can have a big impact on our lives. Right. And one of my new favorite quotes these days is from Daniel Webster. There's always room at the top. So I say, let's all join together and see each other at the top. Very good. We'll see you at the top. You're probably already there, Pete. I have to catch up. I don't know about that, but, you know, I sit here in my office doing all of these fun, fantastic interviews with the most amazing people. And I just feel blessed. I'm really psyched that I have the opportunity to talk to you today. I'm really psyched that I have the opportunity to talk to some other really cool new person. Some people I've known personally and have had the opportunity to meet, but others that I have not. And, you know, I'm taking notes like crazy. I took tons of notes today while we were talking. I don't know if you could hear me scribbling, you know, on my paper. But it is, you know, I think it's part of my attitude of self improvement and wanting to get better with the sense of purpose that I have. And, you know, I will always have that next stretch goal so I don't feel like I'm there wherever there is. But you and I will kind of hang out at the top together. How's that? I love it. And how about how people can find you, your website, if they wanted to contact you, if they wanted to get your book. How would we do that? Yeah, I have a lot of free resources and assessments actually on my website too that they can take full advantage of. And my website is www.accountabilitycoach.com. So it's accountabilitycoach.com and there's at least 11 free resources and assessments that they can take advantage of. They can also go to my blog and sign up for that. I try to blog two or three times a week with things that are of value with personal and professional development types of things. And that's accountabilitycoachblog.com. They can also download from iTunes. They have free podcasts on iTunes that they can download if they just search for accountability coach or an back rack. They should be able to just sign up for those. And I put a podcast up a week and have a free monthly e-newsletter that talks about anything new that's going on and an article that's of value to people. It's just short, sweet and simple. So that's how they can find me. The email is ananne@accountabilitycoach.com. Fantastic. You do have a lot of great resources and I'm glad you shared them with the community here. Yes, my pleasure. It was great. I had a great time. It's like I'm sad that we're ending. We can go another hour, another time. How's that? That sounds good. Perfect. Well, thank you everyone for listening in and thank you very much for joining today. I'm really glad you were here and I learned a lot. Well, thanks for inviting me, Pete. I hope the listeners got value today. Fantastic. [Music]
[[:encoded, "Pete Winiarski, Founder, Institute of Success and Goal Achievement (www.i-saga.net), interviews The Accountability Coach, Anne Bachrach.\n\nEnjoy the Interview. Here is the outline of our discussion.\n\n1. We want to hear your success story – (how you got to where you are now)\n2. What are some of the key decisions you made during your career? \n3. What is success for you? \n4. What are some of your core beliefs + values that guide you?\n5. W...
