Interrupted: Act 2 Reinventing Your Legacy
83|You are a Wonder Meant for More with Lainne Love
Lainne Love is an Award Winning Spiritual Psychology Coach & Bestselling Author, Leading Edge Healer, and Momma.
Growing up in a toxic environment left her feeling broken, worthless, and powerless. To overcome her limited beliefs and create a new legacy, Lainne did a deep dive into healing and mastery to uncover how to restore what felt lost in the chaos of trauma.
Now she’s dedicated to standing for others as they rise up, reclaim their power, and lead by birthing their bigger mission.
Her process is rooted in Universal Law and Metaphysics. Informed by spiritual psychology and neuroscience, and supported with subconscious reprogramming & energetic insights.
She has been seen on Podcasts, FOX, CBS, NBC, Google, ABC and is a Senior-Level Contributor at Brainz Magazine.
https://www.lainne.com/
www.coachlaurie.com
lacoach@comcast.net
You are one of a kind wonder. There never has been, never will be, another you in the history of the whole universe which is so cool. You have a purpose and you are a key meant to unlock and awaken gifts and paths and talents and skills and other people. That is also really, really special. Has your life, your dreams been interrupted? Good news, it is possible to reinvent our lives. People are doing it every day and some are brave enough to share the struggles, disappointments and challenges. If you are looking for a new beginning, a do-over or to rediscover your passion, maybe even find a new one, then grab a cup of coffee and let's talk. Interrupted, act 2, reinventing your legacy with your host, Coach Lori. Laney Love, welcome. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to be here. I am so excited to chat with you, looking at your webpage and seeing all the accolades and the places that you've been featured. But mostly because when our life gets interrupted and we can do something with it, I think it really gives people hope. So let's start with where you are today and what you're doing and how you help people. Well, I am a mama. That's my favorite title, the best title I think that I have. And I am a two-time best-selling author, which is also an amazing accomplishment. It only took me 15 years to get there. And I am an award-winning spiritual psychology coach that I help people to step into their bigger missions so that they can leave their legacy of love. We all have that feeling for the most part inside of us that I was meant for more. How do I answer that call? And that's my favorite thing to help people with. I love that I was meant for more because there's an old movie that people say, "Is this all there is or is this as good as it gets?" And I feel like that is very defeating where I was meant for more. It's like maybe it like incites hope. There's so much hope. And that's a wonderful thing to always remind ourselves about. I know I need to. I need to remind myself of that often as I move through my human experience. But there's so much possibility. There's so much hope. And there is so much more. You get to decide. Exactly. And something else that I noticed because you've had a lot of interruptions, life is not a one and done. We don't have something happen and we work it out and we're good. I'm 65. And we just had a rough year with a lot of grief. We're not immune from it, but we walk through it better. We do hard better as we learn these lessons and grow. I think there's sometimes this mentality of, "I'll figure this out and life will be good." And it's like, "Yeah, it won't be good, but it's not going to be free of problems." I was one of those people that thought like, "Okay, like, when is it going to be done? It needs to be done now. I'm over this already. Like, when is it going to be my time? When's my turn?" It was really helpful, actually, to learn, to decide, to soften into that, "No, it's never done and exactly that. No, what we get better at is meeting life at what it delivers our way. Because we have signed up for that in whatever capacity, like learning the spiritual part of life. Like, wait a minute, the purpose of my life and my experience here is so many things fold. I am an eternal soul and I have come here in this life and within this family at this time for a particular reason, a particular way that I need to grow, some karma I need to transform and heal, some gift I need to deliver, some skill I need to unlock. It's so interesting being human. And we don't often, because our culture doesn't really reflect this back to us, that our lives are so much more dynamic and there's so many more layers. And if we just actually, like, sit back and ask ourselves some questions, it definitely makes the journey more interesting and definitely less personal. Like, "Well, why me?" You know, I definitely... I asked myself that. Many times, I'm sure many of us have, like, "Why me?" Well, why not you? Well, how do you know what you do? What maybe you're making up for or what lesson you said? You know what? I'd really like to learn that. I'd really like to experience that. I'd really like to move with grace through this particular challenge. Yeah, I'm going to sign up for that so that I can learn that skill because what all of us know is that when we move to the other side of a difficult experience, I don't know, 10 times out of 10 so far, and I've been through some really uncomfortable, really horrible experiences, but 10 times out of 10 still, I can say, "I'm grateful for who that enabled me to become." Because I chose to meet that experience with compassion for myself and look at what was there for me. I remember one thing I went through when I was think I was in my early 40s. I remember looking up to God and saying, "If this is so just so I can help someone, I'm not on board." I was like, "I don't want to keep going through stuff." But as you said, when you look back, for me, I could look back and see some blessings in it. And one of the particularly difficult times was a very scary, brief second marriage. And I know because of what I went through, I'm pretty sure I've saved a few people's lives with some information that I had. When I look at that in retro, I wish I could have seen it on the other side. I was a little too much in survival, but how important our experiences are. And so what brought you to this place you are now? There's probably a lot of things, but was there some big shift where you recognized, "I'm going to write this book. I'm going to do this different?" No, I wish there was one, because I think that's what most of us are looking for, because that's what I was looking for. This is going to be the sign, and this is going to be the thing, and this is going to be it. It's going to be that moment. I don't know if there is one. Maybe for some people, there is, and that is so cool. I've just had what feels like a lot of punches in the face, or a lot of falling down and getting back up and learning the dirty, the hard way, the most challenging way I could make it the most repetitive way. That seems to be what I've chosen a lot in my life, and I am sure that there is resonance there, and it's okay. That's what it is to be human, and when I soften into that, I really accept that that is the thing, then it becomes so much easier to integrate all of those moments. To finally get the book done, that was just deciding like, "Wow, I've been saying this for... I've been knowing that this was written on my heart, that I love books. I will read any book, a textbook. Actually, I won't read a manual, oddly enough. You have your boundaries. I will not read the directions and how to work this thing. I'll just try to figure it out. I love information books. I love stories, and I always knew that I wanted to write my own, and it just finally came to... I just have to do it, and I just have to stop saying, "I'll do it when this, when this is perfect, when I know this, when I've done this, when I'm enough," and whatever capacity. I'm really grateful that I did, because now once you do something, then you know that you can do it, and then it becomes easier to do it again, and again, and again. And kudos to you, because I teach podcasting publishing, because really, they're the same. Once you have 52 podcasts, you have a book. They go hand in hand, but so many people say one day, or there was this one man in his 90s. You have one day, I'm like, "They're 90! Like, do it already." Kudos to you to take the step and do it. So tell us the name of both of your books. So the first book, "How to Use Hypnosis to Master Your Brain," was the first one. A bigger mission is the second. A lot of the ladies I run into or work with are in every time and age, and sometimes they feel like, "Oh, I missed it, or I've already done it, or this is it. I'm a big believer, no matter how old we are, we still have a bigger mission." We always have an ever unfolding mission. Even if you think I did my mission, like, I feel really, I feel at peace. I feel like what it is that I was sitting here to do, I did. There is still more. It's up to you. Do I feel complete? And that's perfectly okay if you feel complete. And what you say to yourself is, "No, I feel complete, and I just want to enjoy the rest of my life. I just want to be quiet. I want to be in solitude. I want to enjoy my family, whatever that looks like." And if you've completed it and you're wondering if there is still more, there absolutely is. You are one of a kind wonder. There never has been, never will be, another you in the history of the whole universe, which is so cool. You have a purpose and you are a key that is meant to unlock and awaken gifts and paths and talents and skills and other people. That is also really, really special. I love that message because here's another thing that I hear a lot with clients or coaching. Somebody's already doing it and I always say, but not like you. Exactly. Somebody is already doing it. Thank goodness. Thank goodness the whole weight and the whole load isn't on me. Thank goodness I get to share this load with 10,000 other people, but exactly that. Nobody has the exact story or skill set that you have. You're always going to be able to do it in your particular way. The people that are meant for you are going to be drawn towards you because they need that particular combination. And then hopefully they move on to the next thing because we're never meant to just have one teacher, one mentor, one helper. We're supposed to get what we need and then grow just as for all you parents, just as we do that with our children. We're supposed to give them what they need and then set them free so that they can share their unique self with the world as well. And that's what it is with our clients, with our students, with whoever it is that we have the pleasure of interacting with. And if somebody does want to work with you two questions, I'll get to how they find you. I always like to ask the question, who is your perfect client or who's the perfect person to work with you? People that are interested investing in themselves and doing the work because you get to do the work. I can't do the work for you. I can't go to the gym and lift the weight for you. You've got to show up at the gym and lift the weights. I can give you the directions and how to do it, but you have to do it. People that are motivated to show up and do the hard work of digging deep within themselves to find the more that I know there's more and there is. It's a never-ending deep well and who are looking to actualize their bigger missions so that they can only give their legacy of love. And we're all here for that. You're here for that. And your legacy of love could be meant to impact one person. Your legacy of love could be meant to impact a family or millions or the entire planet. It looks different for everyone, but everybody's mission and everybody's legacy is paramount because for that one person, that one person goes on to be the inventor or creator of something that saves thousands of people's lives. And without you showing up for that one person, that doesn't happen. Because that is how it works. We're all here. We work as a collective. We're all here for each other. And when I succeed and when I step into my best self and I'm living my mission, then I activate that within you. And then we just keep passing the light on, passing the candle. It's such a beautiful model. What a wonderful way of living and existing. I always tell people, you can help someone, even if you're a few steps ahead of them, sometimes it's easy to think, "Well, I'm still a mess. Well, we're always going to have difficult times throughout our lives." That doesn't mean we can't help. And one of the things that taught me that was when I was a single mom, broke as a joke, they say. I was helping at the Family Resource Center. They helped me out with some gas money. And so if they had like something coming up, they needed lunch bag stuff. "Call me. I'll help." They asked me. They said, "We heard you so. Can you hem our pants?" And I started laughing. And they go, "Why are you laughing?" I go, "Because anybody can hem pants." They go, "No. In fact, if you would do this, we'll get you signed up and you'll be hemming everyone's pants and make it a little extra money." The gift it was to me that in the midst of my chaos, when I felt like I wasn't any good to anybody, I was just trying to raise my kids and get on my feet, I was able to help someone. And they were able to help me at the same time. And it was such a gift because it pulled me out of that almost for me. Like, here I am a burdened everyone. It gave me a little bit of, "Well, there is a little thing I can do that seems so simple. Often we don't see until we get with a coach or we get with somebody that mentors us. Often we may not see what it is in us that we can bring forth." Yes. And exactly, we don't need to be. And we're never going to be, "I don't know a perfect person. Do you know a perfect person?" I'm never going to be that. And thank goodness, because then I wouldn't be reaching for more within myself and continually seeking to evolve and exploring different parts of myself. So, yeah, we don't need to be perfect. But yeah, when you were talking about hemming pants, I'm like, "That's such a valuable skill. I wish that I had that." And that's another thing is, yeah, we tend to not recognize the amazing skills, talents, and abilities that we have and how valuable they are. So, exactly. It is such an important thing to have somebody be able to reflect that back to you. You keep saying, "Doing the work." So, can you talk more about doing the work? It's a constant continual process. And that was another thing that I kept saying to myself, "Okay, it's been 15 years. I've worked with all of these different coaches and mentors and therapists and healers. And why aren't I there yet? Why aren't I there yet?" Because in lots of ways, I was showing up and doing the work in lots of ways I wasn't. But I didn't know that I wasn't. Also, the work is never done. Doing the work is investing in yourself. It's making yourself the number one priority so that you can actually getting to know yourself, which is something most of us don't do because we don't think it's valuable. It's the most valuable thing, especially if you're looking to live into your bigger mission and looking to answer the question. I know I was meant for more. What is that? That requires you getting to know yourself. So, doing the work is facing all the things that you've been avoiding and looking at the patterns, the results, the ways of being, the thoughts, looking at all the different elements of yourself and like, "Okay, what do I want? Where am I? And what's in the gap? You do that work. Okay, this is what I want for my health. What do I need to do? This is what I want for my relationships. What do I need to do? This is what I want for my finances, for my business, and that's the work." We hear this phrase all the time, "If nothing changes, nothing changes." And often I hear people saying, "I want this and that, but they don't want to do the thing. They almost want magically." And I think in the metaphysical, there is some element of where some people think, "Oh, you just magically think it." Well, we think it, but then like you say, then we take action. I really love what you said about not being there yet because I have been so guilty, my friends will tell you. I'm like, "I'm doing the work. I'm doing the stuff." But also, what I kind of realized is sometimes things are right before us, but I didn't see them with good eyes. I was seeing them kind of with my old self instead of my new self. My hope and my prayer is open my eyes to see what's there because it's already promised that it's there, whatever we need. Yes, and then what is that? That's an amazing step for sure. Wait a minute, how did I miss all that? I've been calling in abundance, but wait a minute. Wow, I have so much abundance. I can open up my closet and I have like 50 different shirts. That's actually abundance. I might want different ones, but wanting different ones is actually wanting something different is the continual process. You're never done. Once you get what it is, you wanted all of those things to begin with. You had them and now you've evolved and you've grown and you've changed and now you want something different, but that doesn't minimize or diminish or cancel or make that not abundance. It just means that you've grown and evolved and changed, which is what you're supposed to do, and then we don't turn our backs on it and say, "Oh, it's not abundant because it's not what I want. No, it's still abundant." So yeah, recognizing things for what they are and being in gratitude for it and then saying, "Oh, celebrating. Look, I have evolved and now I would like to choose something different." It's watching our language because our language tells us a lot about what's in the gap. So if I'm looking at that and I'm just seeing not abundance, okay, there's a couple of things there. There's a couple of things in the gap that I get to shift so that I can start to see that more of that abundance and so that it can start to experience more of that. So that goes back to that metaphysical conversation that you're bringing in. Yes, the steps seem like they've been simplified. The steps are the steps, but the explanation of the steps, there's information missing there. Yes, you have to decide what you want, and yes, you can use affirmations, you can use visualization. All those things are really helpful, but if your inner dialogue is, if you're like, "I'm abundant, I'm abundant, I'm abundant," your inner dialogue is, "No, I'm not. I'm never going to be. I'm so scared. I'm in scarcity. I'm freaking out." Okay, great. So that's the work. That's the work is, now I've got to go in and look at, "Okay, I am abundant. I want to be. I am abundant." Now, I'm noticing all of the steps, and there's so many cues that we give ourselves. Our body gives us cues, so when I say I'm abundant, what happens? I clench up. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel, maybe, like, heart palpitations. I want to, like, shut down. Okay, great. Those are the physical cues you're giving. What's your internal dialogue? If you stop and notice, "No, I'm not. I don't have what I want. I don't have enough money to pay the bills." Whatever that is, great. Those are the cues that you've been given tells you what your next step is so that you can get to "I am abundant" so that when you actually say that affirmation and do the visualization, you can actually align with it, but you could say, "I am abundant a thousand times," and if you haven't done that work that your body is queuing you to do, you'll never get to that, and that's what's missing mostly from the conversation, is that that's the work, and then once you do that, then yes, the things do seem to effortlessly come to you or align with you. It wasn't actually effortless. You did the work, but the people that it appears that it's effortless for, they don't have all that junk in between, and that junk comes from so many different areas. It comes from your family, your lineage, so it can be passed down from your great, great, great, great, great grandparents, and you're completely unaware of it because it lives in yourselves. It can come from the family that you grew up in. Right now that you're aware of, it can come from the country, the religion, all of these different layers, so that's where it gets a little bit interesting. I love that. You explained that so well. It's like you brought together all the things because we hear it's effortless. Well, it looks effortless, and it is once you've done the work, but it's easy to want to skip the work of, "Oh, my body is seizing up, but I'm not matching up," and so getting it aligned and recognizing being aware of what's going on and getting someone to work with, because we can, we hear a lot of people say, "I figured it out myself," but it's so much better if we do it with someone, if we get the eyes of somebody else who's just a little ahead of us to help us get to that next step. And I always say, even if you're a coach, a good coach is well coached, a good counselor is well-counciled, we want to be always doing the work, even if we are helping people do the work. I have teachers, I have coaches, I have mentors, I have therapists, I have all of those things because I am highly skilled and educated. We don't see our own stuff. I'm better and better at seeing my own stuff and integrating the tools and using them on the daily basis now. That's actually my automatic practice is going into that, and there's always going to be layers that I don't see. I absolutely need the help and support of other people so that I can expediate my growth. As a mom, and you have a young child, your CEO, I think you called him on your webpage. Yes. I became a coach when my kids were a little older, and so I didn't really understand self-care. So I had to learn it when I had already kind of been neglecting myself. As a mom, how do we do that putting ourselves first because we always put our kids first. So it's not about really balance, and it's also not narcissist. I'm putting myself first. Can you just talk a little bit about what that's like? It changes us moms. Hi moms. Hi moms are high dads too, but it changes on the day-to-day. You know, when I start to lose my mind, and I am not in service to myself or my son, then I get to examine how it is that I created that with the choices that I made. I'm out of balance. I'm out of balance because I'm losing it if I'm in balance. Then I'm able to navigate all of the challenges that come with being a parent. A lot of those are emotional of being able to be patient enough to be the teacher for somebody or you actually be the student also because my son is always teaching me things and can I be humble enough to actually be present and get that. Being a mom, being a parent, it's kind of like an opportunity to accelerate your fast track, your growth. How you do it is again going back to that investing in knowing who you are because there has been times when I've lost myself in my child and made my child everything child-centered, then I lost who I was and that created a spiral and chaos. And then there's times when I focus too much on myself and then it creates spiral and chaos for my son. And so guess what? It's just a practice. It's just a practice. Okay, what do I need so that I can feel full enough that I can be present so when my child calls me 20 times for what I would think is not important, but it's so important to them. And I can be patient and my yes, what would you like? What do I need so that I can show up that way? And then what does my child need for me? And then how can I also create boundaries? And that have a lot to do with me being able to maybe only have 10 minutes for my child because I actually need to work on my business because my business gives us food and a home and those things are important. So if I have 10 minutes, it's literally being there for 10 minutes fully present because your child doesn't really actually care from my experience and I've also been a teacher in four different countries. I have taught pre-school. Your child doesn't actually really care if you're present for eight hours or 10 minutes as long as they have gotten your full attention for a period of time that they are recognizing, that you are acknowledging that they are important and you love them and their voice matters. And I also explained to my son, I'm doing this. Do you like having a place to live? Yes. Do you like having food to eat? Yes. Are those things important to you? Wonderful. Well, then this is what I need to do so that that we can have those things. Does that make sense to you? Do you understand that? We don't speak to our children enough and give them real life and they are intelligent, intelligent, observant little humans. They know, so speak to them, give them the information and you will be pleasantly surprised by the results of that. So it's a moving target. Out of all the things we've talked about and the things that you know and have experienced, what is it you really want us to know? How amazing you are, how important you are and how you matter and we need you. You are needed here on earth at this time on this planet. Your mission is so important. That's so beautiful. How do we find you and how do we find your books? You find me at lainy.com, L-A-I-N-E. So easy. I'm so blessed and you can shoot me an email. You can fill out forms. You can poke around. You can also find me at lainylove on social media and my books are available on Amazon. Awesome. And tell us the titles again. How do you subnose us to master your brain and a bigger mission by lainylove? Yes. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me. If you love this podcast, here's a big ask. Will you share with your friends and family, subscribe, give us a review and a five-star rating so that others looking to reinvent their lives will be able to get the help they're looking for. Thank you in advance.