Kayal and Company
The Great Mock Debate
You gotta take a listen to this, it's SquawkPod. That's right, CNBC's flagship business news show is a podcast, SquawkPod. This is CNBC Control 2. It is not just the show, folks. It might be even better because it's only audio. Join me, Katie Kramer, as I take you inside the SquawkBox control room and beyond the headlines of our TV broadcast with Joe Kernan, Becky Quick, and Andrew Ross Sorkin, every weekday. Relava. Listen to CNBC's SquawkPod, free on the Odyssey app. This is the best of K-Link Company. I'm Tark Radio, 1210-W-P-H-T in the free Odyssey app. And we welcome you back in, it is K-Link Company live on this Friday morning from FOP Lodge 56 in West Berlin, New Jersey, as we are now ready for the great mock debate. Wow. Round number two. And, by the way, there's Trump signs, Trump van signs in there. Look at this. Look at this. Wow. This is actually like a debate. Yes, it is. Wow. Yes, it is. As we have Donald Trump and Kamala Harris with us. Here are the rules of the debate. Opening statement will be 60 seconds. Closing statement will be 60 seconds. We did a coin toss off air. Kamala Harris will take the opening statement and Donald Trump will make the closing statement. We have eight different questions on eight of the most important issues to Americans in the 2024 election, and I am your moderator, Fake Strapper. All right, so let's begin. I don't hear applause. Good morning. I grew up in a middle-class family, OK? And we want to bring that feeling, that camaraderie of middle-classness back into our nation, all right? Now, with everything that's going on, look, the climatic atmosphere is very tense. It is very tense. Donald Trump is a very unserious man. Before we begin a very serious debate, I just want to make you understand that this is what I got sent in the mail from Donald today, all right? This is the kind of stuff that he does. He is an unserious man, and I want the American people to know that I stand with them. I stand with them for morning, evening, and night. Now, before we start, you know, I just want to say to my fellow women, brothers and sisters listening, to my Hispanics below the border, as well as outside of it, Ola, Amigos, and compadres. Salaamalaykum, to the rest of them that are outside of the border waiting to get in. Look, I want to say to all of you, Donald Trump is somewhat of a threat to inflation itself. All right, he's not one of us. He's not a politician. Costs have gone up, and Donald Trump is a rich white billionaire. So, you know, our plan, I've always been transparent about this. Our plan is to tax the rich, you know, it'll be up to us who we tax, and we split the money amongst those who need it, migrants being first and foremost. Now, look, it's about equity, all right? This entire thing is about equity, and Donald Trump left us with a non-equitable economy that, you know, I plan to acquit as soon as I redecorate the White House. So, you know, inflation will take care of itself. All right, let's get on to question number two, Kamala Harris, you will lead off. The question is pertaining to the border. The border and illegal immigration. You are once dubbed the border czar. Look, I never said anything about closing the border. I was very specific about talking about securing the border, all right? Securing the border and closing the border are two very different things. Now, this country was founded on immigration. Now, we need to revisit some of those policies, but, you know, I never said anything about closing the border. I said that, you know, the people that want to come in are welcome to do so, but we've got to do it in a way that they feel welcomed and, you know, not burdened. Now, ice is a burden, you know, we would have to abolish ice and look, that would save so much money instead of paying people to stand at the border using inhumane practices. Well, we can use that money for something very, very useful, all right? Think about how beautiful it would be if we had a red carpet, right, from, you know, from the Rio Grande, all the way up to El Paso. And you know, we don't need ice. We don't need ice. Americans are very welcoming. I want to bring that joyful energy back to the border, all right? Let's bring joy back to that experience and legalize this situation. No human being is illegal, you know, and if you want to vote for Donald Trump, well, he's talking about mass deportations, mass deportations, that is not American. That is not American. We need to put these people first. They've had a hard go at it. They've had, you know, a really hard life, you know, and we need those people. We need them to come in here. You know, crime shmime, I was, you know, I was a state prosecutor for many years. And even though the statistics say otherwise, I know for a fact that the criminal activity does not come from the people that are at the border. Those people just want to come in and get their housing and be in peace. So you know, when it comes to the border, we need to figure out a way to work together and to secure it in a better way, but not close it. I am for open borders. So if you want to vote for open borders, you vote for Kamala Harris. Stupid, so stupid. President Trump, you have 60 seconds on the border and illegal immigration. This is right in your wheelhouse, sir. The floor is yours. What a stupid person. And by the way, you're a stupid person too. Thank you, sir. Because you called one of her answers great. And there's nothing great about what she says, but you look at the border, okay? There's a lot of bad embrace in our country right now. You look at them, they're going around and causing a lot of problems, and we're going to get them out. You know, we're going to deport them. Somebody came up with a fantastic idea. They call it the Trumpapult. We're going to pick it up. We're going to put these people. We're going to take them in. You know, they love free flights. So we're going to send them flying over the wall. And we're going to shoot them over. We're going to do that, you know. Load them up, pull it back, and let them go. And we're going to do that over and over and over again until all of the bad embrace. These are bad people. These are sick people, okay? And we're going to get rid of them. We're going to get them out. You know, they're coming in. There's drugs. There's all sorts of horrible things that are coming. You want some red carpet. There's already a red carpet. The only way I'd agree to the red carpet is if it says MAGA on it, okay? And we're going to roll that out when I get to the White House. But we're going to -- we're going to send all the bad embrace out of our country. You know, they're here. They're causing a lot of problems. And every single one of them -- and they're coming from countries all over the place. You know, they're coming from China. They're coming from Russia. They're coming from the Middle East. These are bad people. And they want to hurt us. And we're not going to let her do that. So we're going to implement on day two, because day one, I have to do dictator things, you know? On day two, we're going to start flinging the people back to their country, okay? Out they go. All the way. That much I can tell you. Okay? How's that? How's that for a great answer? Thank you. How's that for a great answer, thank you? Okay? That's a great answer. Moving along. Question number three, Mr. Trump, we will stay with you. Great answer. I agree. Wars are raging right now across the globe, from Russia and Ukraine, to Gaza and Israel, North Korea and Iran, powder kegs, China and Taiwan cannot be ignored. How will you prevent World War III from occurring? Well, I got to look very well with these people, okay? We look at -- let's look at Little Rocket Man, okay? Kim Jong. They call him Kim Jong-un. They say, "Sir, he's a dictator. You're not supposed to say nice things." Well, I don't want to say not nice things because he's got nukes. We don't want to have that. We don't want to deal with that. You know, it's bad enough. You have Chris Christie. He nukes the bathroom all the time. We don't want to deal with that. But you have Kim Jong-un. I called him Little Rocket Man. You know that? Because he's a little person. He's got tiny rockets and a tiny rocket. I can tell you that. You look at him. And you know what I'm talking about. And I said my button's bigger, my button works, my rocket's work. We also have Elon. We love Elon. He's big rocket man. They call me huge rocket man, by the way. Nobody has a big rocket. I can tell you that. And we've talked about it before, but we got along well with him and he's going to settle down. You know that? We got along well with Putin, right? A lot of me are Putin. And I would have called him. He was going to call me. He said, "Mr. Trump with Russian accent." You know that? You're going to go into Ukraine. I said, "You're not going to do that. You're going to go back to Russia. You're going to play with your nesting dolls, okay? You're going to go back." And I actually sent him brand new nesting dolls based off of our people. The first one for diversity's sake also is Stacey Abrams. It's huge, okay? And you know what I call her? The Beast of the Southeast. And we call Chris Christie, the Beast of the Northeast, by the way. And all of them together. It's like the solar system. Those are the gas giants, okay? But I said, "You start with the first one. It's Stacey. You open it up. You get Rosie O'Donnell. You open it up again. And they get smaller and smaller until we get to little Rhonda sanctimonious." You know, we like him now. But he wanted to be a vice president. 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I'm Dougie Derrino. I'm Dougie Derrino. I'm Dougie Derrino. I'm Dougie Derrino. I'm Dougie Derrino. I'm Dougie Derrino. These are fantastic people. We love men and women of law enforcement. We're at the FOP Lodge. We love these people. These are great people. It's a beautiful lodge we've never seen. You know, I built this lodge once. A long time ago. And we did really well. I did really well when I built it. You know, it's holding up pretty good, I'd say. I think it's doing really well. But the question was about the FBI and they are fudging the numbers. And when you look at Fudge, Pete Buttigieg knows a thing or two about it. Okay. Let's start writing. He knows a thing or two. Yes, it may not be right, but it's the truth. Buttigieg is what they call 'em. Butt, you can't say it's hard to say his name. Butt, edge, edge. And he has a problem with the Fudge, you know? We have an issue. And Crooked Joe also has a problem with Fudge. You look at his trip to the Vatican. And I get along very well with Hispanics, by the way. And this goes, "I speak Spanish very fluidly. Sleepy, Jose, Caca, and Frente del Papa." And that means... that means... Sleepy Joe pooped in front of the Pope. It's a bad thing. And it was the only time the Pope was ever out of the words. And you're not supposed to say it. Holy sugar, honey, iced tea. Not supposed to say that. Operation Tootsie Roll is what they call it. And Halloween came early for the Pope, you know? There was a trick-or-treat all over the floor. And not supposed to do that. But we don't... you know, the FBI is a disgrace. You have a horrible FBI. Christopher Ray. Who did he come from? Chris Christie. Of course, he's a horrible guy. That was his idea. Never should have listened to him. And we won't listen to him. And by the way, you can't get too close to him. Or else you get stuck in his orbit. You know, it's really horrible. I saw somebody throw a tomato at him. And, you know, like Obi-Wan Kenobi said, "That's no moon. It's a space station." And I got along very well with Obi-Wan, by the way. Great guy. I called him Ben. Ben Kenobi. He said, "Sir, these aren't the droids you're looking for." I said, "These are definitely the droids, but we had a great time." We are going to fix the crime problem because you have a lot of bad ombrets. But we're going to make sure that our men and women of law enforcement, who we love so much, we're going to give them more funding, more resources and more support because we love them and they're great people. Believe me. We have reached the halfway point of this morning's debate. As we now go to energy, Mr. Trump, we will stay. Nobody has more energy than I do, by the way. This is my favorite topic. Energy is a major concern. It is a major cost. Gas prices remain high. The cost to heat and cool your home, as everybody here can attest to, is through the roof. Energy bills up 25, 30, 35%, 50% in some states. How will you make Americans pleased with energy costs again if you are to be reelected? Well, we're going to do something that is going to get Anderson Cooper and boot edge edge. Very excited. We're going to drill, baby drill. That's what we're going to do. Not the way they like it, but it's going to -- We're going to drill like nobody's ever drilled before, except maybe those guys. Maybe those guys. Maybe those guys. It's possible. But if there's more obstructions, you know, there's a television show, many people have heard about it. I call it the zoo. They call it the view. I call it the zoo. Or old McDonald's farm. And by the way, did I not do a great job in McDonald's? Let me just say that. [applause] And they tried to poison me with the E. coli, but it didn't work. Because I have the greatest, you know, the Supreme Court said, I have immunity, which we knew. I fought off the China virus like nobody's ever fought it off. I had a Zoom call with my antibodies this morning. And I said, you guys are doing a tremendous job. Nobody has an immune system like I do. But we fought off that E. coli. Never had a chance. And we would never let that impact our gold toilets. I can tell you that speaking of fudge. But we love energy. We're going to have so much energy. We have so many sources of natural gas. You know, Stacey Abrams, Joy Behar. [laughter] Jerry Nadler. [laughter] Eric Swalwell. I call him. I call him his flatulence. He doesn't have a problem accessing gas. And his girlfriend, you know, she came from China. I call her, you know, her name is Feng Feng. I call her Chinese takeout. [laughter] We are going to drill, baby drill. We're going to have such a great time. We're going to be drilling all over the place. And we're even thinking about it. You know, we almost did it in my first term. We might get Greenland. We might get it. We may annex Greenland because I have a history of doing this. You know, I got along very well with Thomas Jefferson. [laughter] And we got a great deal on the Louisiana Purchase, did we not? We had a great $3 million difference. They gave us a lot of land and a beautiful Statue of Liberty, which is incredible. But I got along well. We may get Greenland. We may drill under Greenland. And we're very excited about it. We're going to have the most affordable energy the world has ever seen. We have so many sources of natural gas that have been untapped. And we're going to tap them like nobody's ever tapped on before. Believe me. This is the best of Kaitlin Company. I'm Tark Radio 1210W PhD in the Free Odyssey App. This is the best of Kaitlin Company. I'm Tark Radio 1210W PhD in the Free Odyssey App. Madam Vice President Harris. Energy is a major cost. Gas prices remain high. The cost to heat and cool your home through the roof. What is your blueprint and plan to lower the cost of energy for America? I know Trump is talking about drilling holes all over our beautiful planet. He's talking about invading Greenland, purchasing Louisiana. How can anybody take this man seriously? This is a dictator. He said it himself. You know, fake temper. Roll back the tape and you'll hear it. He said he's going to be a dictator on day one. Donald Trump is a threat to democracy. All right. I'm going to pull my hair out already. I can't stand this man. But you know, I'm not going to get emotional. Look, we have to understand as Americans costs have gone up. They've gone up. They've gone up. They've gone up. It's a little more. More so not because they just went up because of us. It's because the cost of living has gone up, right? So, you know, when I was growing up, I would make a bathtub, you know, just full of collard greens. You know, shout out to any of the darker folk listening in. So, you know, we used to make collard greens in the bathtub in order to make sure that, you know, they didn't spoil. Well, we had the whole neighborhood come over and we, you know, we need to bring that camaraderie back to America. We don't want to drill the planet. We don't need to worry about energy, lowering energy. You know, when, when I was growing up middle class, you know, we cranked up the fire hydrants outside. So that, you know, I want to implore everyone to do that on these hot summer days, right? You come out of your house, you kick open that fire hydrant, you know, the hood knows what I'm talking about, right? The hood knows, the hood knows, shout out to my brothers and sisters, my HSBUC. (laughs) So, you know, they know what I'm talking about. You just got to crank open a couple of fire hydrants and cool those kids down. It's free, it's effective. All right, it's clean. You know, we just got to get, we got to get more creative as Americans. But what Donald Trump is talking about, you know, seizing land. And, you know, he's not Christopher Columbus. He thinks he is. He thinks he's a colonizer, which is, you know, why I changed the name. It's Indigenous Heritage Day. And, you know, I heard Trump coming out recently about that, talking about Columbus Day. This is not, you know, we're not celebrating colonization anymore. There are dualities here that we have to consider within the passages of time. When it comes to energy costs, you know, electric school buses are all the hype. It's all about the yellow school buses. You know, they make me so excited, they're yellow. I used to ride a short yellow school bus, right? Yellow, they're short. And, you know, they're just wonderful. But when it comes to energy, when it comes to energy, you know, you know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about, ladies and gentlemen, you know. No, we don't. Madam Vice President Harris, we will stay with you. The subject is home ownership, which has become almost unattainable in 2024. It's also a way that many Americans in the past have built wealth for the future to get ahead and hopefully retire one day. What will you do to ensure that the housing market gets righted if you are elected and you begin in 2025. Well, Tackra, you said it yourself. You think about 20 million people came in through our border. We need to get these people housed. We need to get these people housed. Now, look, my administration has pledged $25,000 loans for all these people to put a down payment on a new home. Now think, let me take you through this for a second. All right, let me take you through this for a second. This is a serious plan. We give the money to the migrants, okay, with an option to pay back. They don't have to pay it back. All right. If they can't pay it back, which let's face it, you know, most of them. All right, most of them are washing dishes and sweeping floors. So they're not going to make those mortgage payments of, you know, at least five, six thousand dollars. The bank will then come and seize the house and sell it back to Americans. $25,000 on top plus interest. Everybody wins. I don't understand what the problem is. All right. So we got the migrants at the border. They trickle on in. All right. Okay. They trickle on in. We give them taxpayer dollar money to put the down payments on. They'll go in the houses. They'll furnish it. There'll be some riddles everywhere. You know, they'll be, they'll be yellow lekis everywhere. They'll be, you know, umbrays and enchiladas everywhere. I mean, it's a win win. And then the bank comes and seizes it, right? Tech. You know, that's money back in our pocket or in my pocket, I should say. And then, you know, if Americans want, it's back on the market at an elevated price, of course. So everybody wins in my administration. Everybody wins in my administration. And I think that you should really, really consider voting for Kamala Harris. If that sounds like a fine plan. President Trump, homeownership, almost unattainable. It's also a way that many Americans build wealth for the future. What will you do to make sure that the housing market gets righted under your watch? It's so ridiculous. We're going to get rid of the bad ombres. Like she said, they're going to put them in houses, then take the houses away, then sell them to the people for more money than they're supposed to be sold. This is a horrible idea, but we knew that. Because look who came up with the idea, right? You know, she's a stupid person. We keep saying that. And she has that. We keep talking about it. You know, you look at the neck. The gizzard. The gizzard of us. And that's a movie where the house got picked up and it went in a tornado. Anything Kamala Harris knows how to do. It's suck, okay? I'll tell you that. Of course, like a tornado, let's get the mind out of the gutter, okay? And blow like a hurricane, right? And of course, we're only talking about the wind. That's all we're talking about. And if you think we're talking about anything else, you are a sick person, okay? Don't be a sick person. But we're going to make houses so affordable because we're going to bring back American jobs. We're going to bring back people who are going to build the houses. We're going to have the building materials, you know, the supply chain. We had bare shelves, Biden. You went into the supermarket. There was nothing on the shelves. It looked like Crooked Joe's brain. It looked like her brain, to be honest, empty, completely empty. And like the Grand Canyon, which I bet you could figure out what I'm going to say, who created that. A lot of people think it was the Colorado River, but it was Chris Christie falling out of bed. In case you didn't know, he's a very big person, okay? And we still haven't gotten to Lizzo, who's a smaller person, in all of the weight that she lost, Chris Christie found. Okay? But we're going to make houses so affordable. We love houses. I have the greatest houses, by the way. Have you seen my properties? They're fantastic. I have gold all over the place. They're beautiful. Mar-a-Lago is a tremendous place. And anger on the creepy judge from New York, he said that it's only worth $18 million. The toilet paper on the roll at Mar-a-Lago is worth more than that. And he knows that. And he knows that. But we're going to make homes affordable. We're going to bring back jobs. People are going to be making so much money. The cost isn't even going to matter, to be honest. But we're going to make them so affordable. And we're going to have so many people that are going to be looking for homes, but the right people. We're not going to have the bad hombres looking for homes. We're going to have the good hombres, the good people. Like everybody here who wants a home, you'll be able to find one. You'll be able to afford it when I'm your president. Because I'm going to be, quite frankly, the greatest president the world has ever seen. That much I can tell you. All right, quick break as we continue more of the great mock debate as we are live this morning from the FOP Lodge 56 in West Berlin, New Jersey. Education and Social Security on the other side. You're listening to the Best of Killing Company on Talk Radio 1210 WPhT in the Free Odyssey app. You're listening to the Best of Killing Company on Talk Radio 1210 WPhT in the Free Odyssey app. President Trump, education and what is happening in our schools is alarming too many. From critical race theory being taught to men in women's sports, bathrooms and locker rooms, Donald Trump, how will you go about protecting biological females in their safe spaces and to make sure that teachers are not putting a political slant on their curriculum? When you talk about education, nobody's smarter than I am, okay? I know everything. And that's why Google hates me because I could put them out of a job. I know everything, you can ask me a question and I know every single thing there is to know. But we love education and we love our teachers if they're doing a good job. If they're not doing a good job, we don't like them so much, but if they're doing a good job, we like them. When you look at men in women's sports and protecting biological females, it's a very interesting thing. You know, Lindsey Graham sits when he pees and he's a type of person. You know, they call him a, this is what they call him, a sperm-producing female. Chuck Schumer too, you know, you look at Chuck Schumer. We're going to Madison Square Garden on Sunday, you know that, and everybody's excited about it. Everybody's excited about it. And we're going to be the most entertaining thing. I know I'm in Philadelphia so you're going to love that. A lot more entertaining than the nicks and the rangers, I can tell you that who play there. And I could also tell you a lot more entertaining than Billy Joel who says he fell in love with an uptown girl, or as I call her, Chuck Schumer, of course, okay? Fell in love with Chuck Schumer, not a nice looking guy. You see him at the L Smith dinner, his skin was crawling, you know. I kept saying things about him. But we're going to protect, we're going to protect women. We're going to do that because horrible things are happening to them. You know, they're in the bathroom and a dude is walking in and that's not supposed to happen. You know, we're not going to let that happen. But we're going to teach great education. I'm writing all of the curriculum, okay? I'm going to write it all. It's going to be mega education because we're going to do America first. We're going to teach these children, right? We're going to teach them that we don't have to be ripped off by China. We don't have to be ripped off by Russia. We don't have to be ripped off by Mexico. We're going to go back to teaching them that two plus two is four, okay? And the eyes of the Democrats, two plus two is something else, but it's not four. We're going to teach them everything they need to know to be successful. And right now they're not successful because they're being taught crap. To be honest with you, they're being taught crap. They're being taught critical race theory, DEI. And when you look at this, when I win the election, she is the poster child of DEI. And she is going to be the reason why everybody realizes not a sound hiring practice. So we are going to redo education. It's going to be fantastic. These kids are going to be so smart because they're going to learn from the best. And the best, by the way, the name of the best is Donald J. Trump. Believe me. Madam Vice President Harris, education. What's happening in our schools from CRT to men in women's sports? How will you ensure that biological females are protected in their safe spaces? And what are your plans when it pertains to education? Look, it's just so sad to listen to Donald Trump, you know, be a professional bully. And people are actually cheering for him. Look, let me tell you something. And this is probably something that Donald Trump took too seriously as a child, all right? We have to make an inclusive environment available. Now, when we were growing up, there was a dangerous saying that clearly infiltrated Trump's little orange brain, okay? Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. And to this, I say, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are violence. And Donald Trump is a dangerous human. He cannot stop talking. I'm sorry to lose my cool over here. This has gone far enough. He can't leave Stacey Abrams alone. He can't leave Chris Christie alone. I think he has a crush on Chris Christie. And he's not that much smaller than Chris. Donald, if you're listening, I've seen your index finger. It's fatter than my thumb. You have no right, no leg to stand on. Talking about other people, words are actual violence, all right? And to answer the question about women, I'm sick of them with all the whining. They need to move over and respect the needs of the marginalized communities, all right? It's a must. It's a must for a thriving America. Look, if little Johnny in school thinks that he is a wolf, that's his right. And Mary is a sheep. If Johnny eats her, that's Mary's mom's fault, all right? She should have had her in a separate classroom. So we need to make sure that these, that these rights, that these children have, we need to hand them over to the teachers. All right, they need to make these decisions. They are the educated ones. So, you know, these children will be better off under my administration. All right, parents don't know any better. They're not there. We need to hand over this responsibility to the professionals. So, you know, Johnny may still try to eat her, but at least she'll be in a separate classroom in her own habitat. All right. And it's very important that we do that. We have to make sure that we bring common sense back to the White House. All right, so we're not going back. And Donald, words are violence. And when I went, when I went, I'm speaking, I'm speaking, I'm speaking now. All right. Words are actually violence. And if, you know, I need you to understand that, you know, under my administration, if you want a job. Well, you come talk to me and I will get you a job, but there's no way that we're going to let you win. It's time to take America and bring her to a new way forward. And that's all I have to say. Madam Vice President Harris, the final question, you will leave this one off from social security to tips and taxation to child care tax credits. How do you plan on being creative to generate additional revenue and income for Americans and make sure that Americans have more money in their pocket each and every year? So, you know, I wasn't going to announce this until, you know, a couple of days before the election. So I can really secure the winning, right, in case Dominion fails. You know, the people deserve to know though, and I'm too excited and I really, really want to bring it forward and I decided to do it on, you know, for you guys. Are you ready? Can I get a drum roll? If you, if you don't have a drum roll, done, why don't you just jump up and down and, you know, it'll have the same effect. All right, all right, well, just pretend there's a drum roll. All right, well, just pretend there's a drum roll. My administration is prepared to offer every single American family on McDonald's Happy Meal for only 99. All right, now, Donald, you may know how to salt some fries, but I can negotiate one hell of a bargain. One per family, limited time, limited supplies last, only at participating McDonald's, C store manager for details, offer expires October 23. Now, look, that's going to save a lot of posts, a lot of hassles, right? Talk about a break. Raw deal. That was a phenomenon. Don, that's a phenomenal deal. Don't be jealous. Raw than the E. coli onions at McDonald's. Okay, what a raw deal. President Trump from Social Security, the child tax credits, the taxation of tips. How do you plan on providing a little economic boost for Americans at a time when they desperately need it? She signed the inflation reduction act. 87,000 IRS agents. Not only are we going to tell them you're fired, okay? No more taxes. We're going to get rid of all of them. We're going to get rid of all of them. Isn't that a fantastic idea? Don't we like them? Because nobody knows. Nobody knows how to handle their money better than the people. We don't need the government to do it. But we love, and we love our seniors, by the way. We love them, the older people, the great people, the beautiful people. You know, you look at these people, and they're great, and they look great, and they sound great, and they're doing a fantastic job. You know, we love our seniors, like nobody's ever seen them before. We love them. And Andrew Cuomo, remember the Democrat Party, Andrew Cuomo, he killed them. Really, it was terrible. No, he did. It was a horrible thing. And they called him the gold standard of COVID, and the China virus, I call it the China virus, came from China. They said it came from bat soup. I said, that's bat soup crazy. I can tell you that. But we are going to make sure we're going to get rid of all your taxes. We're going to get rid of all the taxes on tips. We're going to get rid of the income tax. We don't need an income tax, because we're going to do tariffs, you know that. If you bring products in from another country like China, we're going to handle that. They're going to have to pay a lot. And when you talk about negotiating a deal, nobody negotiates deals like I do. Let's talk about it. Abdul, remember Abdul from Afghanistan? He said, "Sir, why have you sent me a picture of my house?" I said, "Because you're killing her people, and if you continue to do that, we're going to drone your house." He said, "Sir, my house is bomb proof." I said, "Okay, but it's not Lizzo proof. We're going to drop her on top of it. And we're going to do that when you're in there Abdul." He said, "Please don't do that." He wasn't necessarily afraid that Lizzo was going to come through. He didn't want to be around there. You know what I'm saying? So we did that with Abdul. We did that with, by the way, McDonald's. They got rid of the $5 meal deal. We got it back. I called my good friend. I've got along well with him. I've known him for a long time. Ronald McDonald. I said, "Ron." You know, they wanted to call it just Donald's. But I said, "You don't want to do that." And I built the golden arches. My own two hands, I sculpted them, and they look great. We brought back the $5 meal deal. We're working at a deal, by the way, to have the McRib all year round. You know, we love the McRib. And we're also, when I'm your president, and when I was your president, it was tremendous. But when I'm your president, the ice cream machine is always going to work. I can tell you that, too. So we're going to get rid of all the taxes. You guys are going to have so much money. You're going to be calling me up. You're going to be saying, "Mr. President, I have too much money. What should I do with it?" I'm going to tell you to buy Bitcoin. It's a great thing to do. You know that? We're going to have a strategic reserve. The greatest strategic reserve the world has ever seen of Bitcoin. We love Bitcoin. But we're going to get rid of all your taxes, and you are going to keep your money. And I know you guys are going to love that. We love that. I love that. And you're all going to have a great time. With all of your money, nobody's going to take it away from you. That much I can tell you. No more taxes, or else we're going to throw the tea back in the harbor. That's what we could do. [Applause] Beautiful people. Smart people. Smart people. Madam Vice President Harris had the opening statements. That means it is time for the closing statement from Donald J. Trump. Well, ask you this question because we love him, and we got along well with him, Ronald Reagan. Are you better off than you were four years ago? And the answer is absolutely not. You know, you look at that. And so we're going to go back to four years ago. We're going to have cheap gas because we have unlimited resources of gas in this country as long as Eric Swalwell is here. [Laughter] We're going to get the bad ombres. This ombres that are coming in. We like the good ombres. They can come in the legal ombres. But the bad ombres, we're going to get them out. We're going to have a secure border. We're going to get along well with other countries. But we're going to put America first. You know, you look at China. You look at Xi Jinping, Winnie the Pooh. He has a hard time. You know, he has a very hard time. And I gave him a hard time when I was your President. And I see a great future for our country if I'm your President. And I can tell you it's just the most. I love fortune tellers. And by the way, I did a very great thing with China. I was the person who invented the fortune cookie. Okay? And we love the fortune cookie. But if you take a look at fake strapper and you look at his head. [Laughter] And I put my hands on his head and I saw your future. You know that it looks like a crystal ball. And the future looks very bright for this country. If I'm your President, if she's your President, you're going to have a cackling hyena for four years. And the people are not going to be happy about it. We don't want to deal with a hyena. You want the lion. You want mufasa. You want -- and what they did to him was terrible, by the way. [Laughter] And also, while we're talking about Disney movies, Nemo never would have been lost if I was your President. [Laughter] I got along very well with him, and he was lost. And we would have found him a lot quicker. We would have brought him home a lot quicker. [Laughter] And it wouldn't have been any problems, but Nemo got lost. You know why? Because I wasn't your President. But now we would have found him. [Laughter] Dory forgets a lot and all these things. And we love the turtles, by the way, the turtles. You so totally rock squirt, right? Give me some fin and some noggin. We love that. [Laughter] But when I'm your President, Nemo will never be lost. The hyenas are not going to take over, and we are going to have the greatest and strongest country. We will make America safe again. We will make America strong again. We will make America proud again. We will make America wealthy again. And when I'm your President, we will make America great again. Thank you. Thank you. [Cheering] And that will conclude the great mock debate. Let's give it up for both Sean Farish and Esti for their roles as Donald Trump and Kamala Harris. And if we could just give Esti a moment, I would love for maybe everybody doesn't know everything about Esti. We certainly know a lot about Sean, but Esti, if you want to tell, I don't know if Esti can see the crowd, but we have a massive crowd here this morning, and Esti, I'm looking for that. They love me, they're huge crowds, by the way. The YouTube chat is on fire talking about how good you are in this role as Kamala Harris. So Esti, just tell us about how you came up with this and everything that you do because you are absolutely hitting it out of the park. You know what, Sean's been awesome. Honestly, we were just having a blast at this point. First of all, I want to thank you guys for the honor, for the space to even do this. If you didn't know, I'm pro Donald Trump. It's so good. I use my superpower, you know, to just kind of poke fun at this ridiculous nightmare that we have, and I'm just really excited and happy to share it with you guys. I'm sorry I couldn't be there personally. We got a lot of requests for Kamala these days. So I'm doing my best to spread the hope, the joy, the real joy. And, you know, hopefully people make the right decision and really bring glory back to America the way the word belongs. Sean, don't take this to your head. You know, I feel like sometimes you convince yourself you're Donald Trump. I hear the way you talk about it. You're like, it's a real, like, it's a real problem with you and him. I hope that when you actually meet him, you're not going to be angry. But it's just an honor. No, I didn't see the audience, but I love you all. We are in 88. I do this all day. This is my life now, the Kamala stuff. So it's a pleasure. Thank you. Great stuff. Thank you so much, Estee. Great stuff. And we will talk to you again probably after the election. Let's give it up for Sean Farish and Estee. This is the best of Kaitlyn Company. I'm Tark Radio 1210WPHT in the free Odyssey app. This is the secret story of a young Russian oligarch who hacked his way to a $93 million fortune. I'm CNBC Senior Washington correspondent, Ayman Javers. In our new podcast, The Crimes of Putinstrader, I'll take you inside a shocking Russian crime targeting the American financial system. Attacks that sources tell me were welcomed by Vladimir Putin's government. Listen to CNBC's The Crimes of Putinstrader free on the Odyssey app.