Improving your mental health will be a lot of work, but if you don't like where you're at right now - you have to be willing to put it in.
There will be days where you feel like you're getting nowhere. However, by celebrating every small win - even when it's silly - you can combat those incorrect, negative thoughts that belittle your progress when you're feeling low.
In this short, solo pod I let you in on my progress, why I've been adamant about continuing to work on my mental health when I still struggle mightily after all this time, and I share some advice and books I've read.
If you like the show and want to support us please subscribe and rate the show on the app you listen to us on.
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(upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Welcome back to the show, my scars podcast. I'm your host, Derek Duker. Today is another solo pod, and I wanna check back in with you on my personal journey. As some of you know, I started this show five months ago as a passion project of sorts. I've struggled mightily with my mental health in my lifetime, especially over the last decade plus. And around the time of the COVID outbreak, I noticed I was definitely not alone in those struggles. In fact, I seem to be gaining fellow weary travelers at a record pace. This concerned me as a father of a pre-teen daughter. I cried a lot of nights wondering what kind of world I was raising her up in. And I knew I couldn't stand idly by and hope she was gonna be all right, because the world is not gonna take care of her. If there's one thing I've learned in my 33 years on this earth, it's that you have to be self-reliant. And I've learned that the hard way. In my search for answers regarding my own mental health, my entire time at places like Burl behavioral health and you stasis here in Springfield, Missouri has been an absolute (beep) show. Neither place treated me like a human being. Oftentimes they didn't seem to have good reasoning for the medication they were trying to put me on other than, hey, we haven't tried this yet. And their processes almost seem like they're meant to make you feel worse. And their psychology departments aren't much better. In fact, I had one therapist at Burl who asked me multiple times during a session about my diagnosis of ADHD, which I didn't have. She made me feel so invisible and unheard that I wound up leaving in the middle of the appointment and experiencing a panic attack as I was leaving the office and I totaled my car. This isn't to say you shouldn't take meds or see a therapist. In fact, I've told you the exact opposite on the ladder. I'm not a doctor and I won't speculate for you on whether medication is helpful. I've read and heard lots of people say it saved their lives. However, as a former journalist and a lifelong cynic, I do want you to take responsibility for your own health and develop some self-awareness because I fear some of these places don't have your best interest in heart. Many, many former employees have said as much to me and you can see it with your own eyes. However, there are good providers out there and you can find them. The only way to tell for sure is to increase your awareness of self and take notice of who and what serves you in life and what does not. Keep a journal and jot down patterns of behavior you notice. How do you feel when you take your meds? Follow the advice of your therapist, exercise, eat certain things, do certain activities and so on. I noticed that I've always enjoyed storytelling and I learn a lot from other people so this podcast has been a part of my journey in trying to better myself and plus it feels good to share what I've learned with others and hopes that it helps. All of my episodes with guests have come from things I wanted to learn about myself. I talked to Charlton about mental health and parenting because I wanted to do my best to not let my baggage become my daughters. I talked to Big Dave about being his authentic self because I hide my true self from some people due to a lack of trust or self-esteem. Even though I'm not aromantic or asexual, I talked to Bridge about those things to get a different perspective on love life because I've struggled communicating with entrusting potential partners after trauma and I figured ACEs and arrows have to do a whole lot of communicating. This mental health thing takes a whole lot of work. However, as the cliche goes, you only have one life to live and how you feel mentally will bleed into every aspect of your life. So if you want to feel better and live a happier life, you have no choice but to do the work. There will be days it feels like you're getting nowhere. Just this morning I woke up feeling awful mentally. As a side note, most mornings I do so I've been tested for sleep apnea, which I'm almost sure I have, just waiting on the test results for confirmation in a game plan afterwards. Recently I heard a doctor say three to seven percent of Americans have sleep apnea and around 80% of them are undiagnosed. So if you have issues with daytime sleepiness and wake up feeling like crap mentally, you should probably get checked. Anyway, this morning I was struggling. I took note of that and was trying to remind myself that until I fully wake up, everything would be colored by my mental state. I got to work and was laying out my things and spilled coffee all over my stuff. I was just about to launch into a rage and a pity party, but instead I took a breath, took notice of the emotions boiling to the surface and calmly reminded myself that that wasn't a solution. It would only further prolong the bad emotions in the situation. So I cleaned my mess, did a few work tasks, and began a meditation practice. To tell you the truth, I had no idea what this episode was going to be until I finished that meditation. Part of my poor mood that morning was caused by anxiety of not being able to book a guest this week and that loud negative voice in my head was telling me I had nothing to offer all of you on my own. Because of all the work I've put in the last few years, I was able to say that is not true and honestly believe in my ability to get out an episode, which is funny to say, considering I've been producing content for over a decade, but that's what depression and anxiety can do to a person. As you continue working on yourself, you'll need to pick out those moments in which you have a win and really shine a light on them for yourself. Don't let them pass by without celebrating them, because as I just told you, your depression and anxiety will lie to you and tell you you're not getting any better. The first time you challenge a negative belief, be proud of yourself and celebrate it. Meditate on that feeling and let it sink in. Text a friend or a loved one that you trust and tell them what you did. Take notice of every small step you make because it does matter. Remember, you've operated your whole life thinking and reacting almost passively, allowing your emotions to be in the driver's seat. It will take time to change. The older you are, so I've heard, the longer it might take to change, but it's worth it. And every small change you make along the way feels so good when you notice it. I know I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I was able to stop my depression from taking over. Like I said, you might not be quick to notice when you're having automatic negative thoughts at first, and you might not be able to reframe them quickly at first. And when you do reframe them, you might feel silly. But if you keep at it and keep doing these things, the quicker you'll get and the more natural it will feel. I actually have a couple of books I want to recommend to you guys today that I read at the very beginning of my personal mental health journey. The first one is called The Four Agreements, and it is by Don Miguel Ruiz. The second is called No Mud, No Lotus, by Tick Not Han. I'm almost certainly mispronouncing that, but it is spelled T-H-I-C-H-N-H-A-T-H-A-N-H. But anyway, those two books really help me change my perspective on life, and I hope they will for you as well. That's all I've got for you today. I hope I've been helpful. Please help me reach more people by liking, sharing, reviewing, and all that stuff. If there's something you want me to do a show about, go to showmyscars.com and send me a message through the contact form, or message me on Facebook. I would love to help you find some answers. Thank you all for listening, have a wonderful day, and help someone else have one too. [MUSIC] This episode was brought to you by Two Oddballs Creative. They are marketing, design, and public relations professionals in Springfield, Missouri. They are incredibly easy to work with because they believe in treating their clients' businesses with the same care and attention to detail as they would their own business. I know this to be fact because they designed my logo and built my website. Any time I had a question, they were super approachable and answered it in a reasonable amount of time, and I'm super proud of my website. Whenever I show it to people, they always tell me how cool it is. I wholeheartedly recommend Two Oddballs for any marketing work. You can get a hold of them at 417-9866332 or at the number two, oddballs.com. That's the number two, oddballs.com or 417-9866332.
Improving your mental health will be a lot of work, but if you don’t like where you’re at right now - you have to be willing to put it in.
There will be days where you feel like you’re getting nowhere. However, by celebrating every small win - even when it’s silly - you can combat those incorrect, negative thoughts that belittle your progress when you’re feeling low.
In this short, solo pod I let you in on my progress, why I’ve been adamant about continuing to work on my mental health when I still struggle mightily after all this time, and I share some advice and books I’ve read.
If you like the show and want to support us please subscribe and rate the show on the app you listen to us on.
Merch, story ideas, advertising questions -＞www.showmyscars.com
Facebook.com/showmyscars
Youtube.com/@ShowMyScars
