Phone Taps
Mr. Michael Oppenheimer Sells Halloween Classic
There's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado, there's only one. Member FDIC. Deciding on what to listen to is hard. Using Zuma to stream music from iHeart90's radio is easy, or play iHeart Country, or hip-hop beats. Your choice, all for free. Stream easy with Zuma play. Get live and on-demand entertainment with no logins, no sign-ups, no accounts, no hassle. This November, get cozy and stay in from movie night with Air Force One starting Harrison Ford and Glenn Close, and The Art of War starring Wesley Snipes, all streaming free on Zuma Play. Go to play.zuma.com now. Life is hard. Zuma was easy. Make this season brighter with Vizio's 75-inch Quantum Pro TV, now $200 off at Walmart. This premium QLED smart TV delivers breathtaking brightness and lifelike color that brings every holiday movie to life. The Quantum Pro features wide viewing angle and anti-glare film, so everyone at your gatherings gets the perfect view, no matter where they sit. With built-in apps like iHeartRadio ready to go, you can stream your favorite holiday music right out of the box. Save $200 on the 75-inch Vizio Quantum Pro Smart TV at Walmart today. Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap. All right, scary. Caitlin wrote in and wanted to phone tap her grandfather, who does not listen to the show and sits at home all day and hates telephone telemarkers. So I thought I would get him with Mr. Michael Oppenheimer, the relentless telephone telemarker. It was fantastic. Here we go. Today is phone tap. Oh, yes. Good afternoon. This is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer with candycounter online direct.com. How are you doing today, sir? Who are you? The candycounter online direct can supply you with all types of candy for all kinds of occasions. I don't need either each candy at all. For instance, Halloween is on the way. I don't have anything to do with Halloween, so I don't have any candy and I don't need any. But you will have some ghosts and goblins coming to your door as they trick you for treats. No, I don't think so. This is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer with candycounter online direct tell you. Can I just speak to you? Yes, we did, but I didn't finish what I had to tell you. Oh, but I you didn't understand. I was finished talking to you. I don't need any children will ring your doorbell and they will want to enjoy what's in your tub-o treats. Nobody's nobody's gonna ring my doorbell. My lights are off. The tub-o treats features. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'd like to break you off a piece of the KitKat ball. I'll call me anymore. How can you resist the crispy crunchy peanut buttery butter finger? You're not listening to me. Do not call me anymore. Call somebody. It also gives a ****. Oh. Good afternoon. This is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer with the tub-o treats. You just call the same number again. Call a different number. Hello. Sir, wouldn't you like to taste the rainbow of Skittles? No. No. No. No. No. You're melting your mouth, not in your hand. The evidence can go up your **** as far as I'm concerned. I have one question for you. I'll call somebody else and take my **** number off of your phone and go bother somebody who gives a ****. Sir, one question. What question you don't, you're not listening to me. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pot? I don't get any **** how many licks it takes for anything. Don't call me ever again. You're calling me again. Oppenheimer's the name and candy's my game. I don't want to talk to you anymore. We'll even throw in a tube of toothpaste and $25 off your next dental visit. I don't have any **** teeth and I don't need any toothpaste. Oh boy. This is Mr. Michael Oppenheimer with Tubbo Treats. What's your number? Oppenheimer. I'd like to interest you in the Granny Candy Canister for just $29.99. I have no interest in a single **** thing you have. Let's take a trip down memory lane with wax lips, fizzes. Slow pokes, candy cigarettes, sugar daddies, I hate kids, chocolates, magnets and chunky. You can kick your chocolates and shove them up your ****. Sin-sen, how about sugar babies? I don't want any sugar babies. Which credit card would you like to use today, sir? Credit card. I don't even give ***** anything. Whoppers, pop rocks, dumb-dums. I don't want any Whoppers. Red huts, lemon heads, pixie sticks, chuckles and bottle caps. No. Sour patch, kids. Will you please get out of my ****. Mike and Ike's. Let's go get your own ****. Now and leaders. I just need some peace and quiet. What are you going to hand kids when they ring your doorbell? I'm not going to hand a ****. That's not very nice. You were once a child, you know, sir, and you. I was never cared. I was born 65. There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's. I don't eat ****. Snicker is really satisfying, sir. Are you that **** dumb? Your life wouldn't be so crotchety if you ate ****. Go ahead. Spend your whole day talking to somebody that doesn't get a ****. Mr. Testa. You're wasting your time. Mr. Testa. I'm not going to buy ****. Aren't you wondering how I know your name? How do you know my name? This is Kerry Jones from Elvis Duran in the morning show. From where? Your granddaughter is playing a phone tap on you. Caitlin. Caitlin got you good, man. Caitlin. Caitlin's in big trouble. It's a joke on the radio. You know, my blood pressure is up about 100 points. The Elvis Duran phone tap. This phone tap was prerecorded with permission granted by all participants. The Elvis Duran phone tap only on Elvis Duran in the morning show. There's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado. There's only one member FDIC. Deciding on what to listen to is hard. Using Zummo to stream music from iHeart90's radio is easy, or play iHeart Country or hip-hop beats. Your choice, all for free. Stream easy with Zummo Play. Get live and on-demand entertainment with no logins, no sign-ups, no accounts, no hassle. This November, get cozy and stay in from movie night with Air Force One starring Harrison Ford and Glenn Close, and The Art of War starring Wesley Snipes. All streaming free on Zummo Play. Go to play.zummo.com now. Life is hard. Zummo is easy. Make your holiday entertainment sound spectacular with Visio's all-in-one sound bar. 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In this Skeery/Oppenheimer classic, the world's most annoying salesman tries to get Kaitlyn's grandfather to order candy for Halloween!