In the Vine Podcast
Shekinah and Yesi's Impartation (Fixed)
Have often do you considered how culture impacts the way that we that treat those around us? Tune in as we see two total distinctions between cultures.
We also hear what our Co-Hosts, Yesi and Shekinah love to impart onto others.
Additionally, we ask the following questions:
1. What is your worst shopping experience or purchase?
2. Dating question: Is it a red flag if their ex is blocked?
and of course, stay tuned for our Tip of the Week!
- Duration:
- 43m
- Broadcast on:
- 10 Oct 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
(upbeat music) - Welcome to season four of "In the Vine" podcast led by host Melissa Chavez, along with Denise, Yucinia, and Shekinah. With new episodes released every Thursday, this season we'll be discussing divine infaritation, introduce new guests, and continue to answer your questions. To learn more about "In the Vine" events and other information, be sure to visit our website at www.inthevine.org, or follow us on social media at inthevine.connects. And if you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to share your support, and like, share, and subscribe. (upbeat music) - Hi everyone, and welcome to episode two of season four. We're coming back to the topic of impartation, and so today, however, before we get into that, you know I have to do our panel question, and so what is my panel question for this week? It is. Is there, what is the worst purchase that you've made this year? Okay, I'll start with my worst experience, okay? So I ordered, she came ready, purchase or experience. - Why are you different? - Why are you? - I just like doing this to you, okay? You just, you're gonna learn the Melissa lingo. Okay, worst purchase, okay? It, it's just experience, okay? All right, let me start, I love it, let me start. If she's looking, okay, we're going, okay. All right, continuing on. So I ordered something from Amazon, okay? The purchase itself was good. Ordered three, because Amazon kept delivering it to the wrong freaking address. And I don't know if you guys know this, but it's a little bit hard to get customer service. And so then I just kept telling them what was happening. They wouldn't understand, so long story short, the problem got solved, but I have three of them now. But they're great, they worked out really well. So there's my story. What about you? - That's your worst experience or worst purchase? - All right, I guess I didn't count. (laughing) - What's so bad about that, you got three? You know what I mean? - She was so right, she had this story. - 'Cause I have to read it, she just wants to be rude. - She's having a rosy moment. - And, and, and, and, and. - I got makeup all over my shoulder. - They had nothing to do with the topic and hands. (laughing) - It's a story, it's a story, it's a story. - No, the bad part is that I have to return it 'cause I have integrity and to get a regift. - And you know, it's, it's, it's, it's wearing. Just know why. - I'm just writing notes, I'm just, all right. - No, it's not. (laughing) - Anyway, moving on, digressing. - Who would like to share the worst experience/purchase? - The worst purchase this year? - Yeah. - I would feel kind of bad, but I would raise my hand. I mean, there's a lot of things I buy and I shouldn't have, but this one was because I really love chicken pat-tai. And especially during pregnancy, I'm like obsessed with chicken pat-tai. Like, like, do you see my first child eating chicken pat-tai right now? You would understand, I would eat it almost every day. Like, well, I'm not every day, but I could if I had that opportunity, right? But my husband goes to Sam's club and he's like, babe, look, chicken pat-tai. Like, you would just cook it yourself. And I'm like, oh my gosh, buy it, right? And it stayed in the fridge for three weeks and it expired like after. 'Cause it's like fresh, like you have to cook it. And it expired and after actually get expiration it stayed in there for another couple weeks. - Oh my goodness. - And he's like, when are you gonna cook this? And I'm like, it expired. And he's like, why haven't you done anything about it? And I'm like, 'cause I don't crave it. Like, I don't even want to open the fridge. Like, I can smell stuff. And he's just starts laughing. And he's like, now I have to go make a return and tell them it's because my wife's pregnant and she no longer craves this. And so it's literally what he did. - Oh my gosh. - He went to Sam's club and he's like, can I return this? My wife never even touched it. She never even opened it. And it's expired and I'm just nervous that, you know, like we would eat it or something, like pretty much like forget about it. So he's like, can I return it? And then she's like, yeah. Yeah, like she gets it. - Is it the bag? - Yeah, Sam's club and Costco take everything back. - Wow. - Good to know. - Good to know. - All right. - They took the return. So yeah, hallelujah, praise God. And it was in my face. Thank God, imagine. I'm just pregnant and I just don't want it anymore. And I'm like, good job, Andre. - Yeah, good job. Good job. That's awesome. - Shikai now. - There's actually two bridges that ran through my mind, but she talked about the food one. So let's talk about the food one. I downloaded a healthy recipe book or it was titled a healthy recipe book. And in one of the recipes was like fish tacos. And I was like, I love fish tacos. And it was tilapia. So I bought tilapia. I ate tilapia, my, I got like, just, my back started tightening up. My, I got like bloated. It did not work well with me at all. So I researched tilapia. It is so bad for you. It is so, and I'm sensitive to stuff like that, especially because I've been really, I've been eating really super clean this year. And so just introducing something like that. It's just extremely inflammatory to your gut. It's just, yeah, it's horrible for you. They're like 100% farmed fish. That's the worst. Yeah, which I didn't know. And they're bottom, like they're bottom feeders, which I didn't know either. I thought tilapia like river fish, you know, like salmon, right? So that's probably the worst purchase that I made is I just, I, it's still in my freezer. I don't know how to do with it. Get rid of it. You can't mow it away. Yeah. Get that. I eat a lot of salmon. Yeah. That's fine. But yeah, tilapia, the tacos were bomb. I'm not gonna lie. They were awesome tacos. But yeah, my body just like hurt, dude. I'm like 30 hits different. (laughing) I thought your, I thought your worst purchase was gonna be the book itself. I know, yeah, the book itself. I haven't gone to any other recipes as a result. So yeah, yeah, definitely the book itself. After that, I was just like, you don't know what you're talking about. (laughing) You loved all credits and lectures. No, we're done. So yeah, that's probably the worst purchase I made. Wow. I never knew that about tilapia. I didn't either until after I ate it. Interesting. Rob talks about it all the time. Tilapia? Yeah. Yeah, my dad's-- I never heard a tilapia. See, I didn't know that either. And my dad looked at me like, I talk about it all the time. He does. He does. He's mentioned that my name. They're not listening, Rob. Hi. Clearly I'm not listening. I'm not listening to my own dad. Yeah. He was just like, yeah, you didn't know that. And I'm just like-- That's how I knew it was bad when your dad talked about it. He's been talking about it. Wow. Yeah. I have no idea. Dang. Look at us. You should kind of learn. Denise. I can't think of one. All her purchases are good. They're all amazing reviews. She had about experiences. She had about experiences. Had a shopping mart. No, I can't think of one. I'm sorry. Denise, OK. How about I talk for you? That's quite good. Take my turn. Take my turn. Now remember when you were like-- Every time you were visiting a restaurant or something, something crazy would happen. Oh, yeah. That was really-- see, you have really good memory. You're welcome. Next shell. I had prayed for a certain thing, and it manifested. It happened. OK. Yeah, but what? No, OK. So I was-- I-- I-- [LAUGHTER] I had to read all things. I got a quiz, but I don't want to tell you about it. OK. There is just a season where I was praying. I was like, God, I want to see manifestations happen before my eyes. And so we had gone to 7/11. And literally, this was on 7/11 because they were giving out free slurpees. And the lady behind the counter was manifesting. She was cursing. This is like an employee, a worker. She was cursing everybody out. Mind you, I'm with my three little girls. Cursing everybody out, upset because it's 7/11. People don't respect it. People don't understand that they're free. You can only get one. People are like doing the most. So she was upset. We understood. And my poor girls are like trying to buy ice cream. Like, all is afraid. Like, what is happening? My husband looks at me. I look at him. I'm like, I'm not sure. We go outside. We're sitting down because my husband wanted to go get tacos. There's a lunch truck that's really good. And as we're sitting down, there's this lady that walks out. And she starts yelling at her little grandbaby. That's like three years old, like, cursing at her. And then I was like, Mom, can we just like go home? Like, it was a lot happening. And so then the next day, we go to another taco truck. And same thing. It was very chaotic. Like, I guess somebody was going to like come and like take their money. And so they were like, we're scrambling. They were running. And so we're like, okay, whatever. So we're like, let's go to a coffee shop. We go to the coffee shop. And then the lady there starts yelling at us to get out. Like, this is like, like, and so my husband's like, I've never been kicked out of a coffee shop. He's like, what's going on? I was like, you know what? The other day, I prayed for manifestations to happen. And he's looks at me and he's like, and you didn't think about telling me? I was like, well, no, like, I really think it was going to happen. He's like, so you prayed, but didn't believe it was going to happen. And so, yeah. And so we just ended up, I think that was like a third one, but I can't remember the third one right now. But literally it was one after the other. And I had shared it with my friend. They were like, okay, we have to like try it out. Like go to another store and see if it happens. And so that was, that was fine. Yeah. We actually just talked about that of how we would pray for something and intercede for something. But then when God gives it to us, we're like, well, now what? Do you have any specific, what kind of manifestations? Demonic ones? Yeah. That's true. Yeah. So it was, it was intense. My plan. Your whole family got this one. Yeah. My whole family, my poor kids. Ever thought I'd make it this fun. Yeah. Hear me? Here we are. So all right. Thanks for sharing, ladies. Appreciate it. Next question is a dating question. So I presented a question to these girls and they didn't understand it. So I think I'm the problem, but I'm going to let the listener decide, okay, we're going to even put up a poll after this. Okay. So I don't even want to ask it anymore. Okay. Let's do it. Do it. Their X is blocked. Is that a red flag. Okay. And so what I mean, what I mean by that, right, is the X that's blocked the red flag or the X that's not blocked the red flag, because that one of them has access, but the other one has like, like for sure, no access, like just them by the look of chicken in his face. I don't know if that makes sense. There's so many different like scenarios running through my head, because I think like to block somebody is going to be for so many different reasons, right? It could be because that person was a psycho or because it could be because you just had no self control and checking in on them. So you just express self control and going, I'm just going to get rid of this person and block them. You know, so I, yeah, there's just so many different scenarios. If I see somebody, I mean, there's no way I would know, but you know, if you see that someone's blocked on another page or whatever, I don't really read into it because I know that I've blocked people for multiple different reasons. One, because there's been times where it's been their the problem and then there's been times where I'm just, I don't have self control and checking in on this person. So it's just, and it's not because they were an issue or that we had any kind of beef. It was just, I knew that I was, you know, trying to, that I was just constantly checking, you know, like I was constantly curious, like, who are they with? What are they doing? What are they, you know, like, dog, they're just constantly curious. Yeah. Well, you get blocked. Yeah. That's how you get blocked. No, but like it was just curiosity, you know, if it was like an old crush or if it was like an old friend that I, I did maybe have a falling out with, but it had, you know, that doesn't mean they're a bad person. It's just, there's this constant curiosity of who they hang out with, what are they doing, you know, and I've had to just express self control and go, you know what, I'm just going to remove them from my feed. That's just healthier, you know, so I just, when you ask that question, that's why I'm just thinking, I'm just like, there's so many different things. And I think if you read into it, you're, you're kind of stepping into a really dangerous place of presuming something that might not be the case. Something with me is I've blocked all my axes, but obviously if you go check, you can't, because you're, you blocked them, you know, so you have no access to them. So I don't know if I'm blocked. So I'm the red flag. I don't know. I live her honesty. Yeah. But you guys should hear some of the conversations as you and I have, like they're just outlandish. We can do a little too much. Yeah, it's a little bit, um, yeah, Denise, hello, hi. What do you think? I'm all here for you. She kind of said it could be either or it just depends on the scenario. But who's the red flag? I know that's, that was my question is like, who becomes the red flag? What do you mean? Well, because we were talking about like, okay, she kind of was like, okay, well, if you do the blocking, then you're not the red flag, right? Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm not the red flag if I do the blocking, but then if I get blocked, I'm the red flag, but the person who blocked, they're not, they're not the red flag. So it's like kind of biased. It's, you know what I mean? So it's kind of, it gets, it's weird. Yeah. It really just comes down to what she kind of said, like, you really can't present it. There's, there's zero, there's zero way of knowing for sure. There's no formula for this. There's no formula for this. There's so many different reasons. Yeah. If you're, if you're, this is what you're looking at. This is what you're concerned about. Um, you're just putting a lot of anxiety on yourself for no reason. Yeah. Okay. It's concerned. The red flags. Honestly, there's one way or another. The reason my ass is because it doesn't matter. No, I'm kidding. No, because I was having a conversation with somebody and then they told me that they were like friends with their ex and then all of a sudden he blocked her. And then his fiance also blocked my friend. And so then I was like, well, that to me shows that the guy is a red flag because he got caught by the fiance. And so that's where this question stemmed from because I'm like, okay, there's a toxic triangle going on there. You know? So you do exactly what I just said. Yes. You overthought it. Yeah. The girl you're talking about, why was she blocked though? Was she doing something? Yeah. I would say she's also the red flag. Yeah. Because why was she? She could have been going to be liking everything. She probably would have been on stories and the fiance was like, you know what? No, you need to block them off. So they were all friends at one point. They weren't friends. The girl. They were because in the girl blocked her too. So the girl was not her friend, the fiance. No, they were not friends. She was probably creeping on her H2 though. Yep. Things like that. Because things like that happened. She was just sharing like, you know, you sometimes just want to check, you know, if you're listening to this, I don't think you're a red flag. You're my friend. You're a beige flag. Yeah. You're a beige flag. You're Mexican too. So you're a green flag. Anyway, it goes back to because a guy and girl can't be friends. So maybe the fiance was like, you know what? Because Mike, before him and I got married, he had a best friend that was a girl. Oh. And I had a best friend that was a guy. Didn't work out because he ended up liking me, whatever, whatnot. So he ended up blocking her right once we are unfriending her whatever. So like, as he should, as he should, as he should. But so then that goes back to like the fiance lady, right? So she was just protecting her territory. No, I agree with that. I agree. I agree. I would expect the same kind of behavior from myself. All right, I think it's healthy. It's okay to like, when you know you were in a relationship with somebody and they blocked you, I personally wouldn't take offense to it. I'd be like, good, I'm not like, don't get any type of me move on. Like I know I have some family members from my exes that still follow me and they'll look on my thing, but they'll like congratulate me and my family. And they're like, you guys are doing so well, like you and your husband are great. And I love that, but I'm not talking to their exes at all, you know? And I don't want to. I don't even want to know what's up with their life, you know? For sure. Well, like the question becomes, why would you, right? Because it's like, clearly that would be the red flag. There's the tie there. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay. Well, that was fun. That was fun. Thank you, ladies. I hope it wasn't so confusing. I hope it was. Because let us know what you guys think. Yeah. Do you have a diagram on the bottom to follow on the flags? I think we need to normalize blocking though. Ooh. It's healthy. We do. Right. It's like normalizing saying no. When you're moving on, you're just moving on. Yeah. You don't need that reminder. Yeah. So we labeled the question though as if blocking is toxic, when we could have labeled the question as maybe the blocking is healthy. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? Perspective. Yes. Perspective. No, that's really good. No. I completely agree. I think blocking is extremely healthy. When you're moving on, you just don't need that constant reminder. I remember saying I didn't block somebody I probably should have and I'm just scrolling through, joining my life, and then I just see a picture of this person, all these memories flooded in, all of these old thoughts, and I was just like, "Whoa, okay." And that's when I blocked them because there was just this, "Why leave room? Why invite that?" Right. You know what I mean? Nothing against this person. Yeah. It was just this was an old relationship that ended poorly, but it was just time for me to move on. Yeah. And then I was just like, "What do you want to get in the practice of just blocking people?" It's your feed. You control what you want to see me. I love that. Yeah. My husband, when we were courting on his own, he just said, "Hey, just so you know, I went through my feed. You can go through my feed." But anybody who I even talked to or was dating, I completely just blocked them. I removed them. Yeah. And I blocked them so I don't have any access. And so he was like super honest and he's like, "I removed everybody." It's okay. But not even ask him to do that. That's awesome. Yeah. So yeah. I think we're going to start normalizing. Normalizing blocking. Normalizing blocking. Yeah. I like it. Me too. It means you're not scared. Mm-hmm. And you can practice the fruit of the spirit. Self-control. Self-control. Love it. Love it. Self-control. Yeah. Does anyone feel attacked right now? Raise your hand. Okay. So let us know your thoughts on that. We'd definitely like to know. Okay. So in the topic of impartation, what the girls and I are going to do for this episode and the fourth episode we're going to talk about are favorite impartations that we love to give. So this episode we're going to start off with Shekinah and with Yesim. So ladies, what is the favorite shared impartation that you like to give to your peers? So you're like, "I thrive in this area." I'll start with Shekwina. Burista. Now, honestly, I think in general, I didn't realize how much I enjoy training people and teaching people with the experiences that I've experienced until I became a job trainer as a barista. And from there, I just really stepped into, you know, like I used to be a worship leader. And then like I said, the barista and those were probably the top two that I really got to operate in. And just being able to share my experience and also grow and learn with them because I was also growing and learning with people in those experiences, it was just such a joy. And so I love specifically getting involved with like late teens, early 20s, you know, and like specifically giving them job experience, you know, and it's such an empowerment when you have the skills to fill out a resume. You know what I mean? You can fill out a resume and you have that experience and you can communicate to potential employers that I have the skillset. It's just, there's like an empowerment behind it. I remember my first resume. There's nothing. You know what I mean? Like there was nothing on there. And then as I started getting experience and I started being able to put those, you know, those skillsets in there and rewrite it and re-change it and, you know, all of that, I was able to hand it in with confidence. Like this is a quick profile of who I am essentially. And so ultimately job training, job experience, getting people out there, out of their comfort zones and putting them in a place that they can really thrive in and find what they're joyful about. That just brings me so much joy. And like even as a singer, I used to work with a lot of teenage singers, you know, and seeing their voices develop and change and them starting to understand the music and just even like way out do me vocally was just like, "Oh my gosh, it made me so happy." And I was like, "Please, by all means, take the lead." You know what I mean? I love getting people to that place where they're willing to step above their teachers, if that makes sense. And so even like the barista thing, I remember some of my students would start doing latte art and they were amazing and they were way better than I could ever do and just made me so happy. Because I got to see them excel in something that they just found joy in. And now they could take that into not just other coffee shops, but into other experiences and other jobs. And I don't know, it was just such a, that's a joy for me. Getting to learn something for myself first, because I definitely had no idea what I was doing music cleave when I was a worship leader, I had to learn and I had to learn on the go. Same thing with being a barista, I had no idea how to run a restaurant, I had no idea how to do any of that. I did a ton of research, but then I was able to impart that into a younger generation and it's just been a joy for me. So I love being able to, I love one learning things, but more than that, not just for the sake of learning it, I love being able to share what I learned. It's a joy for me. I love just being in that teacher position if that makes sense. Yeah, I love that. And I know that I've definitely seen the fruit in the, I say kids, but they weren't kids that were trained under you and that came out of that and maybe not necessarily only under you, but as a fruit of that. And it's just like it's true. It just gives kids like a confidence that they, even they didn't think that they could possess. And so to me, it's just like, it's amazing and it already puts them leaps and bounds above like the rest of their generation because most kids aren't gaining those skills, you know? It was just such an honor to, by the time, because they're, they're mostly on high school by when we were training them. And so by the time they were going into college, they're already getting management positions in their colleges and that was just such a blessing to hear and yeah, it was just all the way around experience. All in tier. And they still, they loved it so much and that was also a blessing to know that they loved being in that environment so much that they still would come back during their seasonal breaks at college or from their other jobs and still come back on their off hours and just help us out because they loved it that much and it's just like and sacrificially because they had to pour in and pour out in those positions. Yeah. Yeah. Good job. I was not easy on them. That's for sure. Yeah. Yeah. You asked me the other day, do you miss it? And I was like, I miss it so much. I miss it so much. I know. It's a tough job, but honestly, just, I love that environment and I love being able to share what I've learned, you know, and I hadn't learned a lot for that job. So that just gave me that just, it was an awesome cycle. You know, I learned, I'd share, learned, I'd share and it was just, it helped me operate in that genuine passion that I have. Yeah. I love that, you know, cause I think a lot of people, especially out in the world, they get a little bit like bitter or resentful when they've had to learn things the wrong way or the hard way and they get, and they have to give it out like in a sense for free, right? But it should be such an honor thing, right? Yeah. When you're the one that had to like, like hurt yourself or whatever, like go through the battle. I went through this so you don't have to. Yeah. And that's a joy. You're right. Like there's a lot of people that get resentful and I don't understand why. Yeah. I really don't understand that mentality. Like if I can get beat up, if I can be the one that has to go through the tough and all the mess ups and, you know, and be able to help you skip that part, then they can run with it and go even further than what I've been able to go to. And they have. There's some, there's some students even, like I said, with a worship team, like I was learning on the go. I was like, I had to go through, I've been on so many different worship teams and just the difficulties that I faced with each of those teams that has led me to this place. And now I'm able to impart into other musicians and they're able to take it way further than I ever am. You know, because they can skip all the mistakes, they can skip all the, you know, all the mishaps that happen. And it really is. It's an honor. It really is an honor for me to just watch people just like take what I'm able to give them and just make it even better. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Love it. That's awesome. That goes back to, I think in the first episode you said, it, impartation is the opposite of being a gatekeeper. Yeah. Mm hmm. Put that on the shirt. Let's bring that back. I'm like, do it and give it to Denise. Go for it. Yes, see, tell us. Mine, I would say, would be when you're having a conversation, whether it's with the stranger, whether somebody that you know or you're close with, putting yourself, your thoughts, everything that's going around you or in your mind to the side and really just focusing on them. And then having them speak and just keep sharing and you know, if they keep opening up, just allow them to do that or even just putting the attention on them, complimenting them or bringing something out and saying like, um, you're, you know, your eyes look so great or, you know, just bringing something up because you never know. Sometimes that leads for them to open up and keep speaking to you. Um, the only reason I say that is because there's a lot more to conversations with people when you see them the way that Jesus sees people because there's a lot of times that even I go to the store and my husband, thankfully, he's the one that will greet people at, you know, the checkout. And let's say the girl's name is Yvette, he's like, thank you so much, Yvette. Have a great day. And Yvette will go, how do you know my name? And then he's like, it's on your name tag. And it's sad because it's not normal for you to address them, like actual people. Like we go about our days and we just have constant interactions with people, but we don't see them as people. So you put everything to the site to really see them the way that Jesus sees them and you're going to see a huge difference and they're going to see them start opening up. And a crazy thing is, you know, we have a thousand things in our minds, especially as women, right? We have like spaghetti brain, right? That's what they call it. But when we have that conversation and you truly just stop and pause, you're going to see, wow, this person just shared to me like where they grew up, who they know, they just went through a bad divorce. They bought a house, they even tell you their mortgage payment, like that literally just happened to me just because I said, hey, how's it going? And I was selling something on offer up to them. And it was literally just like a whole thing that this woman just hasn't vented yet. And also just to be mindful that, you know, going around to parties and saying hi to every single person. Yeah, it might be something that's tedious, but you putting yourself out there, you will be so surprised. Yeah. I recently went out to a baby shower for my husband's side of the family. And my husband's not really good with his family members. Like I'll tell him, oh, you're so and so was sitting next to me. He's like, who's that again? It's so bad. And then I'm like, you know, she's your dad's cousin. She's from this side, like I made a whole combo with this person. And it's really nice because my mother-in-law will tell me after I met with them this weekend and they were just saying how Andrei's wife is so beautiful and so sweet and how she's so different and they just love her. And so good job, you said, and you're like, that's awesome. And I tell her, my parents didn't raise me to not be like that. You know, I would go to parties and I would get in trouble if I wouldn't go make myself available to say hi to people and get to know people. Like you couldn't just be off in a corner. And I now realize that that's a true gift because now you're going to do those things and you open up the door to even like God in Jesus in. And one huge thing is I noticed that God always, always, always comes through with the gift of prophecy for the person that needs it. And so sometimes you're talking to somebody and you're not even telling them like Jesus said this, you're just saying, well, maybe it's this and it opens their eyes and then you kind of just bring in Jesus after, you know, after their hearts open. And so I do see a difference now. I have been cut off before. I have been ignored. I've gone to birthday parties when even some people who are my own family members have just like, oh, here she comes again, like with her attitude, like, oh, and I get it. But I do truly think that that's a manifestation that something's triggered in their own in securities because they can't be that way. And honestly, us stepping aside from our own insecurities and being about the other person, you're going to see God move in such a different way. And a huge thing too is that you're not the only one that is in this interaction. The people watching really, really are paying attention. And I only say that because my daughter, she surprised me the other day. I was outside and I'm bringing out this huge item that I'm selling to somebody on offer it, right? And then she's already under the tree, you know, waving at the person on the other side of the gate, right? She's safe. And she's like, hello, nice to meet you. And I was shocked. Like I've never heard her say nice to meet you. Like that she just says hello, but never nice to meet you. And I'm like, when did she learn that? And I told my husband, it was the cutest thing. She shocked me and melted my heart. The lady was like, she's so adorable. You have to say how old she is. She's only two. Yeah. And I'm just, I'm just like shocked, right? And I was just so proud of her and my husband's like, babe, it's because she sees you. You're like that. Like, hi, nice to meet you. Just think about how many random people you've met that she needs to learn that. Yeah. And I told him, you're right, you know, and he says, babe, you're a sweet person. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. But it's true, like just making sure that you just see people as people, like Melissa made me laugh. And she was like, how do you meet friends like that? Dude, we were at the bin store and I was like in my zone. I was like, nobody, like me, nobody talked to me. I'm here with my god daughter and my friend. And she was like, finding a dude. Yeah. And she was like, making friends with people. I was like, how? Yeah. And then I'm like, putting stuff in my car and then the guy that works there passes by. He's like, hey, girl, how's it going? And I'm like, he's like, I haven't seen you forever. And I'm like, I know, you know, my husband says I should have shot no more. Yeah. And these aren't like, and it's with every spectrum of people. Like she can talk to like, I don't know, I don't know, I was talking to the owner. Yeah. Yeah. To the owner. And then it's this guy that comes out of nowhere, tattooed faces, doorack, like all this stuff. And I'm like, yes, see. Yeah. It really is. And I see you. I watch you. I think because I'm really bad at that. I'm so bad at that. I just, I'm like, I beeline it when I, when I get to an event, I'm just like, where's my chair? Yeah. Chair and food. Yeah. Exactly. I was like, where's the chair? Where's the food that is all that I need? Because that's actually something that was imparted to me by my grandmother. My grandma was always like, don't be a bird into people, don't interrupt them. They have their own little groups. They have their own little clicks. Like you go to your group, you go to your click, like, don't be a bird in essentially. And so that's what something that, that was polite in, in my culture was you go to your chair. It all makes sense now. It all makes sense. It all makes sense. Because in our culture, it's like you were, I would get fixed at home in our culture. It was so different. It's so different in, I hate to say it this way, white culture. Right. But essentially my grandmother's culture, she came from Missouri, she was that southern, you know, kind of just like very polite, everybody, you know. Everyone mind your own business, everybody's, and you know, like you do not go into other people's business. It's rude. In one of the differences, one of the biggest differences I've noticed is even food, right? Like when you go to a Hispanic house, like, so for our listeners, my dad is white, my mom is Mexican. And so I have these two completely different cultures, yeah. And so I'd go to my grandma's house and it was rude to ask for food. You don't ever ask for food if someone offers you decline because it's just being polite that they're offering. They don't actually want to share their food with you. That's so crazy. Yes. So if someone would come over to my grandma's house, she'd be like, "Can I get you anything?" The expectation was you say no. That was the expectation. Oh, imagine you said yes and everyone else knows. I mean, with family, it was a little different, but yeah, if a guest came over, can I get you any? And if they said yes, she would. Right, of course. She would serve with a smile, but then as soon as they left, I can't believe they said yes. You know? That's nuts. But it also comes out of that, like, you know, great depression kind of era, you know? Like, you have to save your food, you have to save your finances, and you can't burden other people. So that's really like her parents were in the great depression, and so it triggered that to her. And so that's a really big one. If you were affected by the great depression, you kind of see this trend, and I've seen it with my family. I've seen it with other people's families where that was just a trend, like you mind your own business, you don't bother other people. You're polite and you smile, but you don't actually take them up on the offer. And so that was what was heavy. That's how I was raised essentially in my grandmother's home. And so yeah, just hearing you say all that and me going to that seat and me finding my food, that's just like, that was like, that's how I was taught. It's definitely not how my parents taught me, but it was, my grandma had a huge influence on my life. So like, that was something that I just, and we were at a party, one of the young ladies at our church graduated, and it was going off to college, and we all had to show up late unfortunately because of a prior engagement. And so I got there, I didn't want to be a burden. I didn't like, I was like, the festivities are going on, like I'm not trying to interrupt, I'm just going to be like it to my seat, get some food, you know, and just like sit with my people, right? Yes, he comes in. And she says, yeah, she's like, she says hello, she goes to every single person at that party, every single one. And you said, hi, you asked whose house, this is gorgeous, you complimented it, I saw you engage in conversation, I'm literally watching you like, learn kind of, learn. I really was, I was, I was very intentional about watching you, watching how you did it, and go, okay, that's how I need to do it. I just need to go to people and say hello. And it was just, it was so graceful, you just walked, it wasn't like this big show, you literally walked in, you said hello to everybody, you went to every person, hi, my name's Yesee, like how are you? And I was just watching you, and I was like, just shocked, like, yeah, people were shocked. I'm like, oh Spanish, okay, then I just switched to Spanish, and they're like, oh, okay. But yeah, I just watched you, and I was like, learn something, she kind of learned something here, because like that's, that's definitely, I think how we should be at the body of Christ, inviting and warm, and just saying, like this is my name, if you need anything, come and talk to me. And in that, I would say that the owner was the grandma of a little boy, and she actually brought out bubbles not only for her grandson, but for my, my daughter. And so she would follow up and just, you know, have the little, the toy, and then she would keep bringing out toys for us. And then I was able to talk to her daughter, who had two little girls, two, two kids, so a little girl and a little boy, and we were off looking at the, what is it, the, not the donkeys, the, oh my gosh, the ghosts, yeah, and we were singing like little kids songs, and we were just like kind of relating like on a mom level, and just like speaking like, oh, like two years old is so cool, and you know, like, we were just talking a little bit more in depth, which was really cool. And then for them to see like, okay, this is, you know, my cousin's teacher, like that to me is important, you know, and I think about that. And my husband's really good on that too. And if you notice, my husband was right behind me too, saying hi to everybody, even the people who speak Spanish, you know, and he's been, he's done that a lot, even before. So he actually beats me sometimes, like he's just way more out there with people. So sometimes I even get shy around him and I'm like, no, step, step aside, you send in, like, if your husband can do it, you can do it, you know, it's good. Yeah, it's okay. Denise, any thoughts, comments, concerns? No, it's no, it's that makes sense. Because in our culture, we would get in trouble big time. If you did not go and say hi, it was a lack of respect or if you denied food or if you denied food. So in our culture, what's crazy is like, I know you talked about like the Great Depression and that's where their mind and it's funny, it's not funny. That's not appropriate. But it's crazy to see like different mindsets because even in Mexico, you can have somebody who won't have like, beans or rice for a week. But if they have the little, they'll give you, they'll share with everybody, right? So, and they will, like, if you don't take food, they find that extremely offensive. Like the little I had, I offered it and you didn't take it. So it's so mind-blowing just to see like the different cultural things. And I actually was going to ask, do you guys think it's a cultural thing? But you kind of just went, it's, it is, it is, it totally is. Going from my dad's mom, my grandmother, my dad's side, as soon as you walk in the house, you know, you get settled in, she was, you don't ask for food because you just think I made a money, you think I made a food, you know, you're going to wait till dinner time, you know. And so we learned that grandma's house, we don't ask for food, we wait till she offers it. We don't, we don't ask. And then I'll go to my grandmother's side of my mom's side, who's Mexican, and we come into a buffet, you know, it was anything we wanted, you know, and it was just the, the pantry's open, I'm going to make it for you. And it was just food galore. And so it just, yeah, totally a cultural thing. And having to shift mindsets was kind of crazy as a kid. But as a kid, I had far more of an influence from my dad's side than I did my mom's side. So I definitely like, I, I think I grasped onto that far more because of it. But then now our church is primarily Hispanic. And so I had to like relearn all of these cultural differences. And you're doing so much better though, like the she kind of from maybe five years ago, you're not that person. You're all forced to me. That's for sure. Now I come in and I'm like, now I come in and I'm like, if I've been to your house at least twice, I know where the refrigerator is. I just start helping myself. And it's funny because when I was married, my husband's same thing, very white culture, you know, so like when he saw me going into people's houses, I would just open the door. I'm here. Whoa. That's a modern woman. And he would be like, you can't do that. You can't do that. You have to knock. You have to wait. And I'm like, oh, no, no. I'm not here. You're fine. You're good. You're good. It's rude to make people get up for you. Yeah, exactly. That door was opened. There was a stick on the door. No, it's true. My husband's family, well, they're Armenian and they're, I, not in a negative way, but it's a lot of status in that culture, right? And so I'm over here at the party and everyone's sitting down and, you know, they're all like older, right? I think I was maybe one of the youngest ones that was family-related. And I'm Mexican. I'm the only Mexican there, like at all, you know? And so the cultures really don't mix, like especially Armenians, they only stick with Armenians. So at first, they're already like judging you, right? Right. And so my mom has always told me like, you know, whatever you are, you know, even if you're Mexican, like my dad even says, Mexican, like you can do anything, okay? So like whatever anyone says, like you go in there and you shine, like you shine bright, right? And so I believe that. And so I walk in there and I'm like, hi you guys and they're just like all quiet kind of like the people, because they're, again, I say hi to people that I don't know, but they're also about status. The people that know me already, they're just like, hi honey, they're all all over me. And I'm like, hi, and they're, you know, just like, who's this weird girl talking to me? You know, and I started bringing them pins because at the entrance of the baby shower, there's pins. And I'm so about, if you're going to be at a baby shower, you got to play every part because you know, there's, there's time and effort that goes into it. These ladies were all sitting without a pin, you know, and I'm like, they're not playing and then when they find out that they weren't playing, they're going to be so upset. So I went around and these are strangers and I'm over here giving them pins and I'm giving pins to our family members. And they're just like, oh, thank you, like, you know, they're like, oh, thank you. And then some of them don't speak Spanish English. And so I'm like, oh, you know, like the little Armenian I know and they're like, oh, thank you. And also, those people spoke to Andre's aunt who spoke to my mother-in-law also. Yeah. And they're like, they were just so surprised that Yassenya's so sweet. And it's like, I'm glad they don't see, oh, Yassenya's Mexican, she doesn't fit in, you know? Yeah. So, interestingly, the stigma that many people have gone through, is that right? Stigmas. Yeah, the stigma that you go through when you are in a different culture that doesn't always accept, I guess, any race. I just want to make sure to give a shout out to all the Mexicans out there that will now be able to marry and terminate by many because of the road that Yassenya has bathed, okay. Very similar cultures though, I'm not going to lie. You can't disrespect their food. You've got to eat all their food. They are really family-oriented, very similar, but, I mean, your language will go through and. Yeah. But I do want to say that, like, you just be so surprised if you just see people as the way Jesus would see you. But it really comes down to serving, right? Yes. It can really be summed up in that, serving in a conversation, serving in a... And serving with a compliment, even that? Yes. Okay, you guys. So, with that being said, now we're just going to end it with the tip of the week. And so the tip of the week is, I just read it, it is, figure out what kind of impartation that you yourself are giving to your friends. Is it positive? Is it negative? And is it adding value to their lives? Okay. So, make sure that you take the time to reflect. If you want to, make sure that you, well, if you would like, share it with us on our Instagram because we'd be more than happy to hear about it. So, thank you for tuning in to season four, episode two. We'll catch you on the next episode for our anniversary episode. Wow. Is that one year? One year already. That's crazy. All right. See you guys soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Thank you for listening. If you liked this episode or we answered any of your questions, or you have a question you would like to discuss in future episodes, let us know in the comments or share on social media at inthevine.connects. And be sure to hit subscribe so you won't miss out on the amazing content and guests we have lined up for you. To find out about our upcoming events and more, please visit our website at www.inthevine.org.
Have often do you considered how culture impacts the way that we that treat those around us? Tune in as we see two total distinctions between cultures.
We also hear what our Co-Hosts, Yesi and Shekinah love to impart onto others.
Additionally, we ask the following questions:
1. What is your worst shopping experience or purchase?
2. Dating question: Is it a red flag if their ex is blocked?
and of course, stay tuned for our Tip of the Week!