- Oh. - Hear that? - Ah, okay, thank you. - Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. - Mm, mmm. - Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight. - Yay! - Happy tears. How did you know? And spontaneously written songs of joy. - I'm so happy. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. - Okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, hand-picked, and designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say I get you, Etsy has it. - Raise your hand if you feel really represented in our Colorado state legislature. - Yeah, that's what I thought. Hey, it's Ross, and I have no confidence that the people under the Golden Dome are routinely doing what's best for me and you, for our families and neighbors and friends and colleagues, because our system for choosing and electing candidates isn't functioning to benefit us, it's functioning to benefit the system. But there's something we can do about it, and it's called Proposition 131. Prop 131 will let all voters choose among all candidates, regardless of party, for the state legislature, Congress, and most statewide races, except President, with the top four going on to the general election. It gives us more options as voters, and importantly, it keeps party bosses from sticking us with bad options. And as someone who wants to have true choices, I have to say that I'm even more confident in my support for Prop 131, knowing that the party bosses on both sides don't like it. It takes power away from them, gives it to you and me where it belongs. For a better government, vote yes on Prop 131. - Pay four by yes on 131, own cloth registered agent. - You mind me asking how you seem so chipper? - What do you mean? - You've just been smiling and giggling and kicking your ugs together all morning. Didn't you just get off of a plane? - Yeah. - There's something about not, like when I'm prepared super well, I'm like, oh, like anything could go wrong, and I'm super prepared, what the hell? When you're like kind of ready for it all to... - Low stakes situation. - Yeah, it's like, I should be doing poorly today. - It's all okay in your throat? - No, there's something on its way out, which could end the podcast. - Yeah. - Ooh, ooh. (upbeat music) - Hi. - Oh my god. - We're back. - Back. - So I flew in this morning. - Yeah. - I got up at three in Texas, 3.15. My mom woke me up. - 'Cause she was already up for the day. - She wakes up at like 3.45, 4. - Whoa. - Yeah, for what? Go to bed later. - She's the day. - It's pitch pot. - What time does she go to bed? - Like 7.38. She's like, I wake up and I'm ready to go. And I'm like, well, 'cause you go to bed. She's like, we should watch prison break. And then she turns it on and goes, well, I don't think I had to bed. I don't know, the opening credence haven't stopped at all credence. I can't do this. I can't do the podcast. - You gotta get a neurologist on site. - Yeah. - I would be curious to monitor your brain activity while you're having an episode. - I'm not having an episode. - I didn't say you were. I said like, while you are, not now, but you might later. - Do people know when they're having an episode? Do you know when you're-- - Can't get words out. - That's a stroke. Everyone in the comments. - That's what I'm saying. I didn't want to use the word stroke, but-- - Different strokes for different folks. - Oh my God, speaking of stroke, you want to hear something like that kind of made me chuckle to myself. I went to the sweat tour last week. - Yeah, yeah. - And I had actually like, I don't think I've been like drunk in a few months, but like I was at the sweat tour, so I was completely like-- - Enrique Iglesias. - Enrique Iglesias. Look at this video I found. I was in the bathroom alone. - That's always the best time I've ever-- - And there was just like people in there and I was, here I'll just play it. - But it's not, it's like-- - 'Cause I will not lie to you, I'm selling burnt toast right now. - Oh, you were having a stroke maybe. - I will not lie to you, I'm smelling burnt toast right now. - Smelling burnt toast right now. - And they're completely alone, six girls and the other stall together. That was me thinking of stroke. - It's the sweat tour, there could have been someone making toast in the bathroom that wouldn't-- - Anything was possible. - That wouldn't have shocked me at all. - Anything was possible. - Did you sweat at the sweat tour? - I don't remember. - Oh, it blacked out? - No, I didn't black out, but it was just, it's like a blur more so. I'm sure I sweated. - I'm sure I sweated. - I'm sure I sweated. - So I did. - I was like, I'm gonna treat myself to first class today 'cause I'm gonna sleep on the way to work, you know? - Yeah. - Three and a half hour flight. It was like, that's good 'cause I'll get there at, the flight takes off at 5.30. So I'll sleep until seven. - Did you, you got a life lot? - Hell no, like I was in the one next to the wall so it didn't even go back. - Oh. - And I was sitting there and straight up. And they were like, they got to me. They were like, you want breakfast? I was like, I would love breakfast. What do you have there? Like, well, we had scrambled eggs and bacon and toast. And I was like, that would be awesome. And they go, but we ran out. And I was like, okay, what do you have for me? Chia seed pudding. And I go, I'll try that. - I could see you not liking that. - Well, it's just like not the time for chia seed pudding 'cause it's 4 a.m. - Well, I feel like 4 a.m. is the perfect time for chia seed pudding. - Chia seed pudding is like eating Orbeez, those like small, faceless gels in like a moose with also no taste. - When you flavor chia seed pudding, it's actually pretty good. - Yeah, that'd be great. Unflavored. (laughs) I would have loved it. - Unseasoned. - Unseasoned chia seed pudding at 4 a.m. Pitch black outside. I was just like, oh, okay. I won't be sleeping. Didn't sleep. - But you, you are, you've got a great energy this morning. - Also was so hurtful to me and my home girls is that the flight was wide open. So if I would have just sat in the back, I would have gotten a row and I could have laid- - That's hurtful. - Talk about a lay flat. I could have gotten a whole row. - That's hurtful. - You know what I said? I sat straight up. Also, I didn't even get to have that experience that people have in first class where like, you get on and sit and like, everyone gets to look at you in first class and you'd be like, you're like, who is that person? - Oh, I hate that actually. The one time I flew first class, I was feeling so embarrassed by people walking by and that's when that wolf walked by and I was like, oh, he's gonna think I'm such a snob. Like he's so humble going, like, I hated it. - I kinda like it 'cause I'll hold a book acting like I'm reading it and, you know, wear a hoodie and be like, who's that? Yeah, but I got there late. So I didn't even, I sat down last. I got off first. No one even saw me up there. What was the point? And my flat, my flat was vertical. - Surely you got a discount for your vertical flat? - I mean, it wasn't expensive. It really was almost the same price as, 'cause I got a discount with my dad on United. So it was like the same as if I bought it to get in the back. - It's interesting. No one, no one ever comments on your dad and how far you've been able to go. - I get a discount. - Thanks to his generosity. - Well, I bought it with a discount. - Yeah. - I'm just saying. - Yeah, my father, the retired pilot, really had to do that. - Yeah, I'm just saying. - When I flew to Austin, I went to Austin over the weekend. - Yeah. - When I flew to Austin, I sat in the back, obviously, and everyone on my flight was hot. Okay, hottest flight. Okay, America's next hot model, flight, flight 48, four. - That's when you got to download a dating app and set the radio to zero model. - What the hell is going on on this flight? - Yeah. - Olivia Jade sitting in first class. - Actually. - All of selling sunset, sitting in first class, the two bald shorties and all their ladies. - Was there something in Austin this weekend? - F1, yeah. - Is that why you went? - No, I went for the UT Georgia game, which we moved forward with losing. - Hook them. - Hook them. - But I got to go down on the field. And I bought-- - Because of your status? - No, because one of my friends I was with Audrey, she like, are Audrey or Hunter or Hunter, Sister Bailey or somebody like-- - There was a connection. - There was a connection there, and we got to go on briefly. But it wasn't like a Maccon I hate situation. But, so I went out last week before I went. So I was like, I knew that we were gonna be able to go on the field. And I was like, I am gonna get a fit together. I'm gonna get a fit in advance. And I'm gonna go. And I'm gonna start, start kind of setting myself up to fall into the lane of a Maccon I hate or a Powell. - Just like a UT, the face of UT. - The man of UT, the alums. - Okay. - I'm a little premature 'cause I haven't hit the gym as vigorously as those two young men. - You haven't hit the gym as vigorously? - As vigorously as those two. - Okay, what do you mean you haven't hit the gym? Have you seen them, Shirley? - I'm sorry. I thought you said GM. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Okay. - How do you pronounce that word? - Gym, the gym. - You're saying gym? - I'm not saying gym. I'm saying gym. It's okay, it's fine. See how quickly my chipper heads out, the door when, no, it's... So I get this fit and I'm like, this is sick. I found a leather jacket identical to Matthew's. And I'm like, I'm gonna wear this on the field. I don't even know if he's going, he's going, I know he's going. And I go down on the field. Well, hang on, I actually get to Austin and obviously it's 89 degrees. So I'm like, you know what, who do I think I am? Even though I went out and I found this awesome outfit, I was like, I can't wear it. It's just gonna not be worth it for... - Do people usually wear leather jackets to football games? - There's a lot of people that dress up really nicely and I don't know how they don't sweat. Like the, you've reached a level of status where your pores go away, you just stop sweating. - Maybe once you like reach a certain celebrity status, you have them removed. - I know people with their armpit glands removed. - That's making me like, feel sick almost. - I mean, I don't know how you should... - That's like not how God intended. - No, you're supposed to sweat. - Yeah. - Sweating is beautiful. - Sweating is... - Sweating is a blessing. - Such a blessing. - And it keeps you safe and hydrated. - She like, and cool. - I feel like my sweating could be dialed down a bit, just a small bit, because I'm a man who put sticky pads under his shirt so that I would just not ruin my shirt. I had to throw the shirt away after the game. There's like no resuscitating that shirt. You could have reamed out that shirt and like, powered something that's powered by sweat for like a week. Anyways, so I don't wear it down there. I'm sweating. I see Matthew from a distance. I see Glenn from a distance. Wearing their jackets. I'm like, damn, that could have been papa. - Almost, you're almost there. - Hopefully, that would be great. And then I got to go to my parents and see Max, Maxine over the weekend, and that was really great. - What was that? - He couldn't get off of my body. It was crazy. He was, any time I sat, he would lay it with his paws right here, stuck to me. Like, and obviously, I haven't seen him in eight weeks. It hasn't, it's just been, and he's loving it, apparently. Like my mom, literally, like I said, wakes up before, he goes on a four mile walk with her before, like my dad even wakes up. And then my dad takes them out. And he's also in this giant yard. - Makes you think. - And it makes you think a little bit. It makes you think, I mean, he's so active with me, I think, I feel like, 'cause like, I take him everywhere I go. - You're an acting guy. - Well, everywhere I go, he's not alone at all, except when we do the podcast, honestly. But he's really fully, he's very active at their house. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, so I need to get him. - We do the best we can with what we have. - Right, but he was so, I don't know, it's really scary. They're like, he's happy here. I'm like, you're not taking my dog. They kept doing little insinuations that they're gonna keep him. Like, it's their choice. - Do you see a world where that would happen? - No! - Okay. - No, like, they only have him because I know that right now, it doesn't make sense for me to have him and be paying for a pet sitter. - Right. - For a dog sitter that could change and swap. I'd rather have him have some consistency. - Right. - And that's the things you do for love. Hey guys, we'd like to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Better Help. Do you remember a time recently when you felt like you couldn't be-- - Don't dare. - Full self. - I can think of one, personally, for me. I had a hesitation when my parents came to my show recently and I was like, I don't know if I should really let it rip here, you know, and then I was like, wait, hang on, hang on. I'm me, they're here to see me. Let's let loose a little bit. And everyone loved it and it was very successful. And you guys, October is the season for wearing masks and costumes. But some of us feel like we wear a mask and hide more often than we want to. At work and social settings around our family. - Therapy can help you learn to accept all parts of yourself so you can take off the mask. Because masks should be for Halloween fun, not for our emotions. So many of my friends and family have benefited positively from therapy. It gives you the time to prioritize your needs and learn new things like setting boundaries and becoming the best version of yourself. - If you're thinking of starting therapy, get Better Help but try. It's entirely online designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. - Take off the mask with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/bnc today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphglp.com/bnc. Can I be, can I share something? - Yeah, I was, I was, I'm patching the baton to you. - Like I'm literally shaking, sweating, nauseous because I've left my son at home alone for the first time. I gave birth over the weekend to... - You look great, postpartum. - Thank you. To the most, I'm gonna exo against her. (laughs) The beautiful baby boy that the world has ever seen. His name is Jonathan, of course. He's a cat. (laughs) - He's a little. He's a little kitten. - He's a little tomcat. - He's 11 weeks old. He's the love of my life. I've never felt this way. I'm so sick to my stomach constantly. I live in fear that something's gonna go wrong. I don't even wanna say that in this space. But I have just like, I am just manic over this young man. I have never known love like this. I've never known anxiety about another being like this. He is my child. - That is so cute. - And I'm so sad that I waited so long to get a cat because it's like, oh, this is what was meant to happen. But also so happy that I waited so long because if I didn't wait this long, I wouldn't have had Jonathan. - Yeah, I get it. - Yeah, who is my, that's my son. I looked at that man and I said, oh, that's my son. Like, Eureka. - Yeah. - Let me tell you the story of how that came to be, okay? - I've been wanting a cat for quite some time. - Yeah, yeah. - And so did our friend Sody. She's been wanting a cat too. Sody very much wanted two young girl cats. - Two. - Two, ideally siblings. And I very much wanted one young man, ideally like a little tuxedo black and white cat, okay? So we go to look at a few different shelters over the weekend. First place we walk into, let me rewind a second. Sody also was really intent on naming the two cats. Fucker Jones and Lady Lynn, okay? She was really insistent on those double names, okay? First place we walk into, there's two young women, sisters named Contessa Confetti and Lady Monarch. Right off the bat, two young women double names. And one of them had Lady Two, which is one of Sody's, which was kind of crazy to have that kind of connection on impact and then Sody burst in its ears. Like I've never seen anything like it burst into tears the second that she held Contessa. - Yeah. - And that was kind of... - Really like bold move, by the way, to just like go in for two immediately. - A lot of people get two cats, just 'cause they entertain each other. - Cats are like solitary. - I think it's either or... - I just think as an individual, getting two cats right away is like, oh. - She's the most responsible person I know. - That's good. - Truly. - No, nothing, it's Sody, I would be, yeah, that's true. As kittens, I'd be like, yeah, we're separating. But go ahead. - Yeah, I think cats are more solitary and if you get them together as kittens, they're buddy-buddy. But yeah, so Sody was kind of like, love it for sight. - Wait, is she gonna call one fucker Jones? - No, she's actually keeping Contessa. - She's gonna keep an answer. - I like Contessa, yeah. - Like, how could you not keep Contessa? So it's Contessa, confetti, she's keeping confetti too. Contessa, confetti and lady Lynn. She got rid of the monarch. But yeah, she gets them today. So that's really exciting. Then we went a few more places. I'm very proud of myself 'cause usually I make very impulsive decisions. And there were a few cats that I was just like, yeah, this is a young tuxedo cat, but I'm not feeling that like, imprintation that I saw Sody have and I'm gonna wait. And that's not like me 'cause I'm usually really just like, let's pull the trigger. So we went to three places. I didn't find my match. A little disappointed, but fine. Okay, we're on the way home. I say, wait a minute, sometimes they have like a few cats for adoption at Petco. So I say, let's stop there. And this is not me buying a cat from Petco. They have like people that like rent out space to like keep cats that they're fostering to adopt. We walk into Petco, there's one cat. He's a young man, tuxedo cat. He reaches his paw and through the little crate. And I didn't know cats could do this, but he actually like wrapped his paw around my finger. There was a wrapping happening. And that was the, and that was her story. That's beautiful. Jonathan came home with me. And Jonathan was born? Jonathan was born not without a home visit. What was his name before? Dino, which is something sweet because all the boys called me Dino in middle school. Do the T-Rex feature. The way that you were able to find some connection between like anything that you could have, you could have been like, yeah, it's name was Rhino. And like that's funny 'cause like the people called me Dino and middle school and that rhymes. That is beautiful. That's a beautiful thing. That's so beautiful. I'm so jealous just off the bat that you like, you will know Jonathan as a puppy as a puppy. Yeah. As a puppy, fuck it. He is a puppy. Yeah. He is so friendly, he is giddy, giddy. He loves everyone. He's glued to my feet. He's the love of my life. He is addicted to sucking on my neck, which I wonder when that will end. 'Cause does, I've been, I haven't slept in three nights. Just due to neck sucking. Yeah. Yeah. Waking up every, every hour. Yeah, I've been woken up every hour, which is, I don't, I genuinely, I mean, I feel completely sick and I'm shaking 'cause I haven't gotten any sleep. I don't mind it, I do not mind it. That's motherhood for you. I am so deeply in love. So sweet. Yeah. What do you think his middle name should be? I forgot to tell you his backstory. He was adopted and returned. He was adopted with his sister by a family that had a large dog and the dog ate the sister in front of him and then they returned Jonathan. Jesus. So the fact that he is like so loving after going through like such a trauma. Yeah. I can't stand it. I can't stand the fact that these animals are so pure and innocent and they just, they're defenseless. Yeah. So funny, we both have pets that will return to the shelter next twice. It's, we saved them, but really they saved us. Hmm. I literally, I feel saved and I'm sorry if this is the exact, I think I just fully redid the obsessed episode for this week. So I do want to apologize. I'm saying the exact same things that I said on that. But, oh yeah, I actually forget what was coming. So a little surprise for you and obsessed this week 'cause I forget what I was just about to say, but I know it's an obsessed. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's fine. Okay. Well, cool, look at that. Yeah. That's an amazing thing that you just did. For yourself. A lot of people think that Jonathan is named after Jonathan Groff, but that's not the case. Who's he named? Jonathan Larson continuing his legacy. That's good. Who is that? Form me, tell me. I have no clue. Too many Jonathan's to. Well, it is a threefold. Jonathan Larson is mostly his namesake. That's, you know, the composer of rent, the one who died on opening night, also Chick-Tick Boom. Yeah, never got to see rent. 'Cause he always felt like he was running out of time, 39D, and he did run out of time. So that's Jonathan continuing his legacy, also obviously it helps that Jonathan Groff too, and Jonathan Bailey doesn't hurt either. So. You've got a couple Jonathans that you could have got like gone with. That's good to continue the legacy though. I like that. Yeah. That's a beautiful thing. I'm sure you can't wait to get home to your baby. Yeah. Itching. To suck on your neck. Itching. I feel sick that Max is just like without me, and I had to, literally I was like, I don't even know if I should go home and see him, 'cause now I'm just gonna like do it again to him. I feel sick that Jonathan's just sitting there. I'm jealous. I could tell him where I am and that I'll be back. I'm jealous of the cat mentality because like, he's so sweet right now. But like cats are cool being alone, which is like, I'm so jealous that dogs don't have that. They're like, I'm gonna kill myself. Like I'm sure Max could grab a gun with his thing on his elbow. Like he would-- Yeah. Go for the trigger. Yeah. I don't think Jonathan can't be alone for one second. So I don't know. I do not know. You need to get some ring cameras since set them up. Yeah, I think that would make me, I would be glued to my phone experiencing full psychosis. Well, Max, like literally, as soon as I leave, he gets everything off the counter, but if there's nothing on the counter, he just lays in different spots. He doesn't do anything. But like cats like get mischievous. That'd be fun to watch. It's like a TV show. Wait, they have a TV show. Tom and Jerry. Oh shit, I forgot to put TV on for him. Apparently there was cat shows. There's cat shows. Max hates the dog shows. Really? Yeah. What are they? Squirrels and birds. I'm sure you love them. Yeah, I was like, wow, this is great. I'm watching for 20 minutes. I was like, this is so zen. And then I clicked and I was like, what is this? I want to play this again. 40 minutes TV for dogs. I was like, okay, great. Yeah. That's awesome. This specific episode of Broken Connor Makeup Podcast is supported by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, heck yeah. Or I can't believe it. Or how is this real? But what you really want to say is the one thing that can get you to help you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, and even boats, motorcycles, RVs and other things that matter to you. Listen guys, adulthood is already exhausting enough as it is. Honestly, what I've been struggling with the most recently is just like getting ahead on plans that have already been made, but then like organizing them in advance, like flights and stuff. Flights get more expensive the closer you get to them. I had this awakening recently when I was booking a flight for two months in advance. I was like, oh, this can't be right. This should be triple the price. No, it's chant. It should be that price 'cause I'm planning in advance. That's something I'm navigating right now. It's a little bit difficult. It's new for me, but luckily one of the parts of adulthood that doesn't have to be complicated is insurance thanks to State Farm. With a State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options that feels good knowing you can find what works best for you and your needs. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there too. Whether it's in person or on the phone with your local agent or on State Farm.com or on their award-winning app, State Farm lets you do things your way. So when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I had the most beautiful morning, which is why it was five minutes late. I thought you were on the plane this morning. - I landed at seven, so I like had time at my house. - Oh. - When I don't know. - What was the beauty? - Just like the beauty and the small beautiful little things that I was able to notice this morning. - That's awesome. - Like for no reason, it's almost, it's almost paralyzing how nostalgic I get when I'm leaving a place, you know? Like as much shit as I talk about on my current apartment, I'm like, oh, this cabinet that doesn't shut, like I'm gonna miss that, you know? And I fucking hate it right now. - Totally. - And then like I'm out on my patio and I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna miss this. How many times have I sat out there and had my coffee? Six? Like one being this morning. - And you got the place because you're like, I'm gonna sit out here every day with my coffee. - Every day. Well, the thing is now it's nice out, you know? And like now I can sit out there and enjoy it. And-- - What's the temperature like in your neck of the woods? - It's literally, it was like in the 50s. - We're doing, we're doing 89. - Oh, look at what I'm wearing. I have my ooze. - I know. - And I'm in jorts. - Oh, and I was loving who the person I was in the ooze this morning. - I always love the person you are in the ooze. - I know, I feel good. So nice to be wearing these and like at and about. And if you only get, oh, do you wanna hear this horrible thing that I did? - Yeah. - Oh, first of all, when I walked this morning, I went to the little library and I usually like check out. - I love the free little libraries. What'd you find? - Woo hoo! - Oh my God, yay! - Of everything in 2009. - We can go through that in the best. - Yeah, I'm really looking forward to doing this. Of course, like the little library has like the one book that I'm interested in looking at. - Yeah. - Let's see, just one little sneak peek. - Peekaboo! - Oh, World Wars. I'm not gonna do that. - Not right now. - Top 10 World Wars in 2001. Why is that in that book? That seems like a fun book. - I have, sorry, what were you saying? - Oh my gosh, you know how you're so nervous about leaving your cat Jonathan at home? Because you just like have never had this feeling about another human being. You know that's actually like in an eight instinctual thing that mothers feel towards her babies? You know my mom always used to say to me that she would have dreams that I came out of her as a fly, as a house fly. And she kept being like, where is he, where is he? And then she would sit on me at the end of the thing. She would sit on me at the baby house fly. - So now I'm gonna have that dream. - And squish me the bits. - Damn, yeah, I bet new stress dreams are about to unlock. - For sure, for sure, oh my gosh. But she doesn't have those anymore about me. I was... - It's really just like the baby of it all. He's this big, audio listeners I'm holding on my pinky. Like he's so fragile. - Yeah, it's the fragility of it all. And it's the, like you're responsible for that thing. I still have dreams, even though Max is not with me right now. This whole episode is gonna be about Jonathan and Max. - Oh, Jonathan and Max, that sounds good together. You can call him Johnny if you want to. - Oh, Max and Johnny, Johnny and Max. I still have dreams. My stress dreams have switched from like, I am in the final day of the class that I forgot that I was enrolled in in college and I can't even find what room it's in. And it's the day of the final. Two now like, oh my gosh, Max has been on men at home and I didn't get a sitter. Or like, and he's just like in my house by himself and he's been there granted I would know that because he will howl if he's alone for too long. - I don't know if this is a stress dream or just a dream but had a dream that I got picked up from Chipotle in an Uber and my Uber driver was pregnant and then started going the wrong way. It was, she was a woman. Started going the wrong way. - That explains it. - Started going the wrong way and I was like, oh, that's the wrong way. And then she was like, you're my baby now. Oh. - Go on. - You're my baby now. And turned out she went full Terry Schuster and the pregnancy bump was fake. And she took me home to my childhood home and started treating me like a baby. And then thank God I watched so much criminal minds. I knew to feed into the delusion. - Yeah. - Yeah. So I was like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. I let her treat me like a little baby. And then I said, I just have to go grab some stuff at my home and then I'll come right back. And she was like, oh God, yeah. And then I got out. - It's so crazy. - But then I had to crawl. - To your house. - Oh my gosh. That's like a great, that's like a great play. It's crazy how me and you immediately will go. Like, what's that syndrome? And Stockholm syndrome, I'm like completely, I feel like me and you would be really good at faking at Stockholm syndrome. - No, I did not get Stockholm syndrome. - No, I know, but faking it. - Yes. - Yes. - You have to feed into the delusion. 90% of the time. Sometimes the unsub will catch on to that and that will really aggravate them. So you just have to keep a finger on the pulse of the unsub. - Okay, I'll try. - Speaking of unsub, two things. One, did you see Matthew's gonna be in a new show about Albert Einstein's grandson? That's gonna be the best thing that's ever graced our television. - Looking forward to it. - Really looking forward to it. Two, he has a Halloween special out. Goopler-ween, this is a big deal because there was not one last year. And so this is like really pulling out all the stuff. - I actually remember talking about that last year. - Yeah, a big deal, he's pulling out all the stops. And so in the Goopler-ween special, he had these like stuffed pumpkins because he was planning on jumping off of a building into, obviously he was planning on jumping off of Caesar's palace in Las Vegas into a big container of these stuffed pumpkins that he made. 'Cause you know, he makes stuffed animals. And so before this, I obviously turned on the special. The second it was released, he posted, I saw the story in 20 seconds, turned on the special. The second we got to the pumpkins, I think in my head, he is selling those pumpkins. I go to, what's his website, goop, something. I go to his website immediately, pumpkins for sale. I'm probably one of the first to get the pumpkins because he hadn't even announced in the video that he's selling the pumpkins yet. No one had even gotten to that point. I'm thinking ahead, okay? And I'm the first one. Goopler-ween, sorry, forgive me. And I'm thinking ahead. And the first ones that are being sold are actually used in the video. I imagine that I'm getting a real prop in the mail. And I got two. One for you. Thank you. You're welcome. That's gorgeous. Yeah. Oh my gosh, cool. Yeah, say. Oh my gosh, maybe a little bit of his smell will be on one 'cause you need to smell this man. He smells so good. I would die anyway. Every minute. Well, he did. So he wasn't able to jump off of the casino. So he jumped off of Litter Caesar's. Pizza pizza. Okay, well that's good. Yeah. That doesn't look like a little Caesar's though. That is a little Caesar's. So I'm gonna get one of those. He just jumped off the curb. No, he was on the roof. He fell. But I don't think, I think it was a stunt, obviously. I saw some little pumpkins. Yeah, so all proceeds, 200% of the proceeds. Oh, that's good. Go to the Children's Hospital. So every ounce of my money, and he's matching. 'Cause he's, he's, he's everything. That's a special man. Yeah. You know I probably have E. coli. No, I didn't. Yeah. 'Cause that's the only item. From the bidet. From the bidet. Was that a dream too? No, that was a Twitter thing. I saw that yesterday. No, I don't. But I got food poisoning on last Thursday. I haven't. But were your symptoms? The most, I still have it right now. The most unimaginable, bloating, constantly, and then visitation rights. Visitation rights to any restroom space. 60 times a day. Do you need to make right now? No. But I just, like I've never had food poisoning in my life. And I know what it was. Like food poisoning is usually like puking, no? I don't know. But it wasn't, it's never, no puking involved. Not to talk about puking. Good. But I've never experienced food poisoning before. I got into Austin late at night. And so I did one of those like, I'm at the airport, I'm door dashing right now. So that's at my hotel when I get there. Yeah, wait, sorry, what was the food? Did you say? Why is like street shwarma always open at 12, 30 a.m? You know, and like I should, you know. You know, just, I should just drink water and pray and act like I'm fasting. Cause it's 12, 30, I could just go to sleep. Right. Or I could get two chicken shwarma's. Yeah. You know, and eat both of them. That's your right. They were so delicious. I was like, I'm gonna get these and get them tomorrow. I wake up. I am not even gonna say it. Cause I would probably ask to cut what I was about to say. To say it. And we could always cut it. Just say it. No, I don't even want you guys to know. I'm gonna tell you guys, but I want you guys not to look at me differently. I'm like, I'm on a fart in my bed. I sharded it in my bed. Oh, that's fine. No, like I pooped in my bed. I pooped the bed. Obviously that's the best place to do it. Besides. Toilet. Aziz has to leave the studio space cause she spilled everywhere from her mouth. Oh, she spilled from her mouth. I from then on have not been okay. This morning, not okay. I'm about like, I might have to go to urgent care and like have somebody, a professional look at my stomach. It's not okay. And I, I narrowed it down to either that or my smoothie I had on Friday morning. Something tells me it was the shwarma. Yeah. I'm leaning toward the shwarma. The street shwarma made probably with someone's bare hands. That's really like, just really disappointing. Anyways. Sorry to hear. Anyways, I would have been right beside you in your, I'm a baby dream. Just shitting my little crib. I'm shitting in my crib. I need a diaper change. Yeah. We all could use a good old fashioned diaper change. I had a blowout in my, in my, in my, in my fibs and friends mesh shorts, which are available for sale now. You too could chart through your fibs and friends mesh shorts. Did you, we've read this before about, it was like this Reddit thread about Hugo the Hornet. Who, shit in his mesh shorts. And he said it acted as a shit calendar. (laughing) Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's funny. Yeah. I also want to say about men mesh shorts. Was able to find out while in public that you can see directly through them. The holes are too big. You can. How big are the holes? The holes are massive. There was a call ending happening. Everything is pretty much awesome. You can walk, it's like a little fake wall. You can walk right through it like a ghost. Maybe you should consider wearing underwear with them. I'm going to now. Yeah. This is crazy 'cause like I genuinely have something speaking of calendars. Like in the notes. I know it was gonna ask you to just. It sets calendar. Yeah. It's just a new invention idea. Why don't we have pots with a built-in calendar at the bottom? They tell those. Okay. That's how you know it's a good idea. It is a good idea and you know what? I was like, I want to buy that because I don't own a calendar. And every time I'm like, I need to get a colander. But then I'm like, can we look at one of those up busy? Colanders are one of those things where it's like, you need everyone needs a colander. Yep, but no one ever has a colander. I think everyone does. My mom don't. Really? Yeah, my mom doesn't believe in colanders. So what does she do? Holds the lid over the pot and drains it like so. Seems like a colander would make that easier. Let's see. Damn. No, yeah. Yeah, they do make it. I'm just saying, I want a lever at the bottom. That's what I'm saying. Not an additional piece of the puzzle. That's an additional piece of the puzzle. It just goes together. Yeah, I'm saying lever. Flip the lever and it becomes holes at the bottom. Just pull the lever, crock, literally. So just pull the trigger. That's what I'm talking about. Okay. Hey guys, we'd like to take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Quince. Here's the thing. I love shopping with Quince. Lay it on me, baby. I have been wanting to hone my wardrobe to have more high quality pieces rather than a lot of medium quality. Quality over quality. And Quince really helps with that. It has been my go to for shopping for fall because they have the best selection of sweaters and jackets. Hi, it's just happening in real time, as you can see. Love the transition from summer to fall. It is my, I'm smiling here to your thinking about it. It makes me giddy, it makes me happy. I like to start layering. I like to start adding stuff that like I go through my clothes and I'm like, hello, beautiful. I haven't worn you since last year. It's exciting. It should be fun, you know? And aside from the weather turning cooler, I can't wait for more football games. First of all, hot chocolate. And of course, throwing on a cozy sweater from Quince. Quince is known for their Mongolian cashmere sweaters from $50 and it's not just that. All Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. That includes beautiful leather jackets, cotton cardigans, soft denim and so much more. I know what you're thinking, listening right now to me. How are they able to do that? By partnering directly with top factories and cutting out the cost of the middleman, which passes the savings on to us, that's how. And Quince only works with factories that use safe ethical and responsible manufacturing practices. And of course, premium fabrics and finishes for that luxury feel in every piece. You guys know about my boyfriend, hoodie. Familiar. But I also recently got to try their famous $50 cashmere sweaters and they're insane. They're so soft and cozy and you feel like you paid hundreds of dollars for each sweater. All the colors are so cute, but I love the red and the navy for fall. You guys know I love a good red sweater. I like a navy for fall. Get cozy in Quince's high quality wardrobe essentials. Go to quince.com/bnc for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's qu, i-n-c-e.com/bnc to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com/bnc. Can you tell me about the jewel class action? Yeah, like everyone's getting paid on Twitter. It makes me wish I would have hit everybody's jewel in college. But how can you prove? I think someone on Twitter said, just go ahead right now and anytime you see a class action lawsuit, just sign it. Yeah. Like I wish I would have done that so bad. Is it too late? Yeah, 'cause they've now done the payouts and it's been like five years since it happened. And I'm like to me, my red flags went up and I'm like, okay, like when people get sick from something, they get $100 or something from-- Did you get that, Izzy? No. Getting $9,200 from a class action lawsuit when like a million people signed up, that's literally, to me, it's like, that's like a bajillion USD. No, that's kind of like, sorry, sorry, sorry, you died. You know, like we-- Right, it's like really bad. To me, that's what it seems like. It's like, this is a massive, massive, massive payout. But then I looked into it and it's, this was just because they got sued on their marketing tactics. But I think the marketing tactics were like, it's safe. Or like, I think the marketing was actually like, it's better for you than smoking cigarettes. Right, I think it's worse. I think it's the same, if not worse, because-- Why are people getting paid different amounts? Like, I think it's the, like, how many times you purchase, like if you bought like 10,000 Jules versus, like-- Did people save their receipts? Credit card search, uh-oh. Wow, so I guess, yeah, wow. So I guess the person-- I feel like most of the people that bought Jules were like buying them out of a middle school bathroom. Not with their credit card, per se. College, we had like one specific store. I never even hit a Jule. I don't even think one single time in college. But I remember this store. It was like one guy sold the mango Jule Pods. And I forget his name. It's OK. Yeah, he sold them. And I remember, like, people would post on Snapchat. And they'd be like, I just bought, like, a billion of these. So they probably-- I would kick myself if I was really like hounding a Jule, huffing and puffing their house down, and didn't sign up. That's what I'm scared about with the binky. Uh-huh. I stopped with the binky fully. But weed is just, in general, changed now. I think weed is making people-- I saw a billboard on the way here that really shook me to my core. Not your grandmother's weed. That's true. Weed has changed up to 230% since our grandparents' generation. It might not have been 230. Yeah, well, like 230% more potent. Something more of a more artificial. I've got 100, but it's definitely one hit wonder type situation. It's not like you can't just sit around and smoke a full joint anymore. I feel like you'll just start being able to talk to your ancestors. Yeah. If you know, you know. But I don't know about the Jule lawsuit. It's really scary. It scared me a lot. And I was like, oof, that's a huge amount of money to be distributed amongst a million people, but go off, Jule. Yeah. You know what I was thinking about this weekend? What? I was watching this TikTok of all these teenagers hanging out by a pool. And I was like, damn, we would never do that, because we'd be like, oh, who's someone's going to push me in? If you push a kid in a pool these days, you owe them $1,000 for an iPhone. No one's ever going to get pushed in a pool again. Well said. Well thought out. They have a phone in there. They have a computer in there. You're so right. You know what else? Ding dong ditching. Say bida ding dong ditching, ring cameras. So true. I don't remember living in fear of being pushed in a pool as being part of my childhood. That was it of yours? Yeah, it was. And it wasn't like a fear. It's just like, oh, yeah, I'm fear. It was like fun. It was a fun fear. You know, it was like, that's like part of the party. Is that like you get pushed in the pool? Like being pantsed. Yeah. Oh my gosh, I have a memory of being pants one time. And it was traumatic. And it was on the beach. And it was front of like a bunch of older kids. Did all your panties come down? Yeah, I don't think I was wearing underwear. And I would remember being like-- Really? Yeah. Well, because back then, and still now, there's netting in men's bathing suits. Yes. No one ever talks about that. The netting is-- now the netting is shaped like a pair of women's underwear, right? It's like a speed up. It's lamest. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Why do you need the wedding? So you don't chafe? I mean, the wedding. I guess you don't really need it, though. Like it really like collects things like anti-colander netting. Is that call under? Like shells? Like shells. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, puts it right into your ass jakes. Bikini's need netting colander. Just like it doesn't work. I've always cut it out. But this time, I hadn't cut it out. I think it was like eight when someone pants me. Even though, yeah. And I went and sat behind a sand dune and sob. That's so sad. That's so sad. I remember it. That's like one of my first memories is that-- One of your first memories is when you were eight? Yeah. And I probably made that up, too. Do you think? I don't know. Huh. Do you want to hear something else that's horrible? Yeah. I got out of my Uber on Thursday, walked in the airport. I'm so early. Go to check my bag. My phone's my Uber. I run to the front desk. Can I use your landline phone? I just start calling my phone, calling my phone, calling my phone, calling my phone. By the grace of God, the guy answered and said, I heard a buzzing. You are the luckiest guy in the world. Do you know how, like, out for debt? Because I didn't bring my laptop out for dead you are. When you don't have a phone-- Out for dead. Left for dead you are? I can't even imagine. Oh my gosh. I was like, I'm just going to walk down and get it back and go home. But great. Good for you. I would have just gotten home. Like, I wouldn't have even-- I called it nine times. And he's like, and he pulled back around. Wow. Blessings. That's-- you lucked out. I know. Oh, yeah. Here's a question. Hit me. Did we ever figure out if, like, sleeping with your phone under your pillow is going to give you cancer? No. Or is that still jury still out? Like, but get ready. Just, like, gird your loins to sign up for the class action against Apple when it does. I mean, there's no way. It hasn't been long enough. It hasn't been long enough. But some people probably sleep with it, like, on their chest every night. So, like, we'll know about them-- I sleep with it under my pillow. We'll know about them far before. But I also feel like radiation is probably a different type of radiation, me just guessing about science right now. No, that's what Google said. I'm ready to get absolutely roasted. I almost had spit roasted in the-- You could say that. In the comment section, spit roasted in the comments. But radiation also kills tumors. So maybe we all have tumors from the jewels, and we're sleeping on our phones, and it's killing the tumors from the jewels. I love you, 5G. The way that your brain works. You have to connect the dogs sometimes. That's very good, yeah. If everyone else gets to be a conspiracy, it's about random stuff. Like, I can be too. No, you totally can. There's frequencies happening everywhere. Who's to decide which ones are good and which ones are bired? I actually-- I'm wondering why some radiation saves you, and some radiation kills you. Well, radiation, I think, is just bad. You can't get a ton of radiation. Every time I'm like, I'm nervous about getting scanned at the airport, someone's like, do you know how much radiation is on a plane? And I'm like, no, why would I know that? What does radiation-- it's losing all meaning. What does it even mean? I think-- harmful emission. Raise, like, energy. But of what? Radiation. There's different-- What's coming out? There's different frequencies, I guess, I think. Radiation is energy that moves from one place to another in the form that can be described as waves or particles. Of what? Radiation? Yeah, it's like waves. Whoa. Atomic blast. So all radiation is like a tiny-- you can do tiny atomic blasts. OK. I love the Google search. What is radiation in a simple sentence? That's just wrong. Bro, I probably Google that. Did you see that? And the United States would see that northern lights like a week ago? About a week ago? No. Yeah. Wait, was daylight savings last night? No. OK, it was a different time when I woke up. OK. I don't really like want to talk about Liam because it's just like sad, but my heart goes out to everyone affected. I and I have been sad, too. Very much. Been listening to a lot of One Direction. This is a part of the podcast. Oh, sure. Yeah, I just-- yeah, I'm not going to go too into it, but just making a general statement that I'm sad. And I'm sorry that everyone is sad. Yeah, that's really tragic, the passing. I really think it's interesting how many people have-- we talked about this recently, where it was like, when people die, everyone's like, wait, he was my favorite. I'm in love with him. And it's like, oh, singing a different tune than last one. Yeah, that does happen a lot, doesn't it? I am kind of, and I've switched my tone, too. If I die, and someone wants to be like, I was his best friend, go for it. I like the attention while I'm alive. Oh, I so don't feel that way. I like the attention while I'm alive. Why would I not like it in the afterlife? It's not attention, really. It's a lie. It's a lie, but post that one good picture we took a long time ago. Keep going. My legacy lives. But can they still post that great picture without saying that they were your best friend? I mean, see, whatever you need to say that gets you through the day, this is just me. This is just me and my afterlife. Yeah. Now, when you start writing a book about me and our experiences together, I was actually talking to Taffy about this. She was like, I start writing a book about you or the general public. The general public, Taffy was like, I'll write a book about it if you pass away. I was texting her, I was about to get on this flight. And I was like, I'm really not feeling good about this specific flight. And she was like, if you pass away, I'll write about our life together. And I was like, Taffy and I have, we're friends, I was like genuinely like makeup, absurd shit. And I like no one's going to-- no one's going to-- now they will. But like, no one's going to say otherwise. That's what you would want. That's what I would want. Yeah. Throw some money towards the Lancaster Animal Shelter that I got max at. Yeah. And all is well in the world. Yeah. Truly. Truly. Yeah. And now, it's time for our good neighbor custom segment, which is brought to you by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, heck yeah. Or I can't believe it. Or how is this real? But what you really want to say is the one thing that can get you the help you need, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, and even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. So today, for our State Farm Good Neighbor segment, I'm going to talk about something that I'm struggling with this week and the person that helped me get through it, OK? I couldn't find a couple of my packages that were delivered while I was in Texas. And it's so special because when I asked my LL, and if you know, you know, and she was able to, without even texting back, drop off a handful of packages at my doorstep. Where were they? The world may never know. She's a little collector. But and even though the struggle was real this week, I am nominating my LL as the goat, the good neighbor of the week, who helped me get through it. Obviously, we all know that adulthood comes with these types of low-key struggles what to cook for dinner. How to exercise more? That one I could have used as well. Ways to eat healthier and the list goes on. But luckily, one of the parts of adulthood that doesn't have to be complicated is insurance. It's thanks to State Farm. With the State Farm agent, you know, someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options, it feels good knowing that you can find what works best for you and your needs. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm gives you options there, too. Whether it's in-person or on the phone with your local agent or on State Farm.com or on their award-winning app, State Farm lets you do things you're with. State Farm is the good neighbor we all want and deserve. So when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Every now and then, I'm like, was that Donald Trump when I talk? - Oh, I've never thought that when you're speaking. - Sometimes I hear it. I was like, truly? I'm like, that's kind of-- - Yeah, I hear it. - And I hear it there. - And I do the finger, too. She was serving it up at McD's. McD's. - I sure did. - That was really something. I didn't know that those fries could get any greaseier. (laughing) - That sounded like, not fast. - Did you hear him talking about the fries? You didn't hear any about it? - No, I didn't. - How did you miss all this? - I mean, I saw it and I just, I just rolled past. - He was like, he went on for about two minutes. Like about this whole experience was basically summed up in about two minutes, him talking about how, I always thought they touched the fries. They don't touch the fries at all with their hands. You never touch the fries. The fries are never touched by the human hand. They go straight from there into the thing. Nobody ever touches the fries. I think he thought people were grabbing them out of the fryer and putting them in your bag with their bare hands. - It sucks that he's funny. - He's so funny. (gasps) - Oh, that's chilling. Completely chilling. This is a picture of him where he looks like he's melting. - That is, "Maltation." - This is one of those things where like, if I would have seen this and I had been like on a, in the woods for a week or hiking and had had service, I'd be like, man, AI is wild, that looks so real. - Yeah. He does age by the day, which is a blessing. Surely, should we tease something that's coming up? - I would love that. I know we've been teasing something else that's taking a little bit of time to come out, but this thing that we're about to start teasing now is different and is coming out next week before the thing that we've been teasing earlier, which will be coming out after the thing that we were teasing right now. - What's crazy is like, it's gonna be, it's like tease, tease, tease, but then it's gonna be like, boom. - I was literally gonna say about to bust out. - Bang, bang, bust, and baby. It's gonna be insane. It's almost gonna be like, a little bit like, hold up. They don't love you like I love you. - Izzy, we're busting out and through next Tuesday. We're busting this one out next Tuesday. - 8 a.m. - At 8 a.m, PST? - Yes. - PST, this was the most, fun is not necessarily the right word, but the most that I have felt while filming one of our - Yeah, it's so-- - Specialties. - It's so good. - It is very funny to watch. - It is very funny to watch. Also, it's, 'tis the season. - 'tis the season. - It's the reason for the season. - Yep. - We had a blast filming it. I think it, I can't wait to watch it. We watched a little bit of it this morning, and it's so funny. - It is, it is really. - It's so funny, just so, so raw and authentic. - It's raw. - It's raw. Just like Brooke and I are always just so raw and authentic that this is almost really just like painting a really good picture of us being raw and authentic. - Yeah, so if you've ever wondered, like, oh, I wonder what Brooke and Connor are like raw. - And authentic as well. - And authentic. This is gonna be great. I'm so excited. - I'm so excited. - I'm not so excited. - I think I'm even more excited. - I don't know. After seeing it this morning, I'm like, oh wow, I'm excited. - I'm so excited. - I literally am here for two days, and then I leave for Atlanta again. And then I'm, I'm O-O-O next week. So it's gonna be such a pleasure to see that go live while I'm out of office. I'm gonna be on the East Coast. I'm gonna be in Boston with my family. - Oh my gosh, the pump and the leaves are gonna be falling into your, into your hat. - Into my hat, yeah. - Why would the leaves be falling into my hat at all? 'Cause it's gonna be on my head. - If you turned it upside down, the leaves would be falling into your hat. - No one thinks quite like you. - Don't, I don't know. - I'm gonna carve up a pumpkin next week. - I have, I'm telling you, a mommy brain mush. I was surprised my brain isn't leaking out of my ears. - There's still time. - Yeah. - Stop. - Did you watch Andrew's chicken chop? - No. - Okay. - Was it good? - I have a controversial take. - I have a controversial take too. Whoever, like these people on the internet, they're like, well, she's 30 and he's 42. So that's like a little weird. I'm like, is 30 now an infant? Like I'm confused why that's like-- - That feels completely normal to me. - Okay, it's completely normal, but like-- - 28 and 40 would work too, when you're thinking about Andrew. - Completely, that's totally normal. - Yeah. - I just, that whole conversation now has gotten so weird. It's like, okay, hang on, you guys. - Yeah, no, they're both like grown ass adults. - Now they're like really on the verge of just really like losing touch of the original conversation that I think that people were having about that whole thing. But I'm like, you guys, it's good. But there was some chemistry there. She has chemistry, they both have chemistry with everyone. - Yeah. - And I fear it's important to remind everybody that he's an actor. And Amelia? - The best one too. - Amelia is also really, really good at acting. - I don't think their relationship is necessarily acting. I think they have a great thing going on. But I was like a little bit like, on Kumpf during the chicken shop, because Andrew was being so Andrew, which is what I love about him, of course. And Amelia was being so Amelia, which is what I love about her, of course. Like she was so committed to the bit and he was so committed to like getting deep that it almost like clashed to me. That could also be me just like not wanting to perceive the chemistry as a shield mechanism. But that is really how I felt. - I mean, it went vivy. - Yeah, of course it did. - Yeah. It is everywhere. I need him to go back into the closet. Not in the gay way, but in the way that he was like nowhere to be found, except for with his goggles on the yacht. I need him to go back to the yacht. - He's having a moment, which is great for him. I'm excited for him. I'm in Florence P.O. also. - Of course I'm excited for him. - Also, they be fucking, or what? What do you think? - What do I think? I think that I would be shocked if they haven't. I had my finger on the pulse. - I would be shocked, but I don't think, she is a boyfriend, she said. - Yeah, I'm not making any-- - I don't think it's an act-- - I'm not making any-- - I don't think it's an ongoing investigation. - I'm not making any comments about that, but she seems like she could be down to like-- - She could be down to like open, like a little open situation. - Oh, an open relationship. - She kinda seems like, I mean, she is a septum piercing. She might be in an open relationship. - Oh, I didn't know that was a qualifier. - Those things kind of have some overlap and if you're talking about a vind diagram, septum piercing in open relationships. - I feel fine about him being with other people. - Healthy girl, that thing of a baby, like talk about baby brain. It's like, I have one priority now, it's my family. - This is what I was gonna say that I said will be an extra treat on Obsessed that I just remembered. So, Obsessed will be exactly everything that I said today. - I understand why there's that like stereotypical version of a cat lady that's always alone. 'Cause when you have a cat, why would you need anything else? That's how I feel. - That's really smart. - I feel now that I have Jonathan. I don't need like a boyfriend or any friends or any company besides his. - You are like-- - And I'm not leaving the house. - You are like when someone has like a dog or whatever, like an animal and then they get it a baby and now it regains color and it's skinning fur and now it's like-- - I heard like a commercial. - Yeah, I have, well I have like purpose now. - Yeah, yeah. - Especially like not to bring Frankie into this, but like looking at your-- - The juxtaposition. - Any pig and how it just kind of like did its own thing and now this cat is kind of sucking on your neck a lot. - Yeah, she wouldn't let me touch her which like boundaries like go off queen. Love her with my whole chest. I did need a pet that would let me love them. ♪ Let me love you ♪ ♪ And I will love you ♪ ♪ Let me be the one to give you everything you want ♪ ♪ And me ♪ - Pretty. - Hey, welcome to this dude. ♪ Hey ♪ ♪ How y'all doin' ♪ ♪ Hey, how y'all doin' ♪ - No, I'm just and now you have this new thing and you've got like a project. Well, you've got something exciting to go home to. I've got all my packages that were hidden in plain sight that my doorstep now. I feel, it sucks for me, I'm just going to my house and it's like, okay, what's the point? I had to get, I have to get myself up like what, you know, usually I have max sucking on my neck. Metaphorically speaking and I don't right now. So that's, I'm like, what the hell am I here? - Yeah, I mean, it's, I don't see a world in which I would feel as strongly for my biological children as I do for Jonathan. Maybe that will change, I don't know, but he is my, hold on, let me really quickly think which one orbits around what. He is my earth and I am the sun. Nope, nope, other way around. I am the sun. Exactly, Nina. - Well, I'm the father. - I know that the earth's sand still. So he, nope, I know that the earth rotates around the sun, that's what I meant to say. That's what I know. If I know one thing, it's at the earth orbits around the sun. So he is my son. Oh my God, in many, in two different ways. Let's cut the part where I didn't know which one was which. - No, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. That is so funny, we're-- - Mommy brain. I know that the earth rotates around the sun. It took me, I had just woken up only four hours ago. So please give me some slack. - Hey, man, I read a book. - Now you did it. - Yeah, I did. - What one? - The greatest salesman. - Which one I meant. - Has anyone read that in this room? - You finished it, covered a cup? - Yeah, it's real tiny. I ordered it. Have you read it? Nope, everyone is. There are crickets in this building. I think it's the greatest salesman in the world. I'm really confused if it was about the Bible. As I went with it. - Oh, it's a religious piece. - I couldn't tell. What made you think? - 'Cause it was talking about someone leaving Jerusalem and a star leading them to the destination. - Okay, did you think it was about Jesus being the greatest salesman? - And Jesus was involved. - Jesus! - Jesus was involved in so many ways, I need to declare. But I couldn't tell in what way. - Did you get this because of Matthew McConaughey? Actor Matthew McConaughey cited this book as having changed his life. - Oh my God. - Do you think that was buried in your subconscious from reading? Maybe that was in his memoir. - I haven't read that in so long and I just got this book. - But buried. Things can bury in your subconscious. - They bury them so? - Yeah. - Are we doing buried this morning? - What is it, bury? - Berry. - That's a strawberry. - Oof, we're not gonna see eye to eye for that. - No, I usually say, I don't know. - I wish that I could get myself involved in something that isn't a self-help book, but every book on my desk is all self-help. - Would you be interested in a horror book? - No. - I just read like a scary book that actually was bone chilling. - No. - 'Cause I don't have my dog with me right now. I'm just sitting in my house alone. - Yeah. - It's so horrible. - Maybe not the best for now. - No, and my TV is still on the ground at my house. It's like, yeah, it's a bit. - It's a bit. - It turns on, but only half of it works. And so if I could figure out a way to orient the screen to just turn, to just work for that part, I would turn the TV this way and just watch it there. - Yeah. - I'm just not a man in tech. - You don't have to be. - I'm not a man in STEM either. - Yeah. What are you a man in? - Mass shorts. - A man in mass shorts. - I'm just a man in mass. - The man in mass shorts, that's the name of your memoir. - I'm just a man in mass shorts, looking at a woman who needs a colander saying here. - Try the-- - Try the-- - Try the-- (laughing) - Okay, now I'll put it all together. - I'm just a man in mass shorts looking at a woman who's a full grown baby. There has been kidnaps saying you need a colander. Try my shit colander shorts. - Sure. - That was good. - That was, we can end on that now. It's always nice to end on a quote like that. - No, we have to say one more thing that's just like beyond-- - Like life changing? - Yeah, just like something that we can say. - Usually when we talk just to talk, it doesn't end well. Like if we say something-- - No, I wanna say something to leave everyone. - You don't think that was enough? - Well, that was like really, I bet we'll lose subscribers from me ending on that. People, that'll probably-- - I think people would like to hear about the shit. You looking at a woman, asking for the shit colander. - What's that original saying? I'm just a man-- - A girl looking at a boy, asking him to love her. - Oh wow, he really took some creative-- - Yeah. - Look at that. - Yeah. - Wow, what do I-- - That's your right. - What is that from? How did it-- - Notting Hill, Julia Roberts is your grant. - Maybe I'll watch that. - You should. - On the plane. - I'm a broken TV. - On the plane to Atlanta. - That's a spectacular one. - Really? - Yeah, it could be one of, it could be Hughes best. Besides love actually, when he's dancing down the stairs, probably my favorite scene in any TV. - Oh. - You know, he was my first cardboard cut out. - Really? Wow. - Yeah. - I need some shows and stuff for when I go to London. And Ireland. - I don't have anything for you. - My parents planned like a full road trip for us in Ireland and I'm excited for that. - That should be really fun. - Yeah. - Where's Max going? - He's gonna stay with a friend of mine from high school. - Okay. He's so-- - And then I'll get him-- - He's gonna be cool. - Okay, we'll wrap up. Thank you guys for listening. That is our show and nothing is ever gonna take that from us. (laughs) No matter how hard so many people will try. - I don't know how hard so many people might try. - This is our show. - This is our show. And we will see you next time on our show. - Cut. - Bye guys. - This week, I'm close friends. - Do you not have to feed those two bitches? - Sorry, I fucking said neither. I mean, I just like sit and look at that art and I'm like, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna squirt. - I went through puberty in like third grade. (laughs) - Lies. - Lies. - Talk about horny. Sea monkeys have committed atrocities across the planet. That's why we keep them prisoners. - Crap. - Sign up on tmgstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode. Raise your hand if you feel really represented in our Colorado state legislature. Yeah, that's what I thought. Hey, it's Ross and I have no confidence that the people under the Golden Dome are routinely doing what's best for me and you, for our families and neighbors and friends and colleagues, because our system for choosing and electing candidates isn't functioning to benefit us, it's functioning to benefit the system. But there's something we can do about it and it's called Proposition 131. Prop 131 will let all voters choose among all candidates regardless of party for the state legislature, Congress and most statewide races accept president with the top four going on to the general election. It gives us more options as voters and importantly, it keeps party bosses from sticking us with bad options. And as someone who wants to have true choices, I have to say that I'm even more confident in my support for Prop 131, knowing that the party bosses on both sides don't like it. It takes power away from them, gives it to you and me where it belongs. For a better government vote yes on Prop 131. Pay for it by yes on 131, on cloth registered agent. Black Friday is coming and for the adults in your life who love the coolest toys, well, there's something for them this year too. Bartisian is the premier craft cocktail maker that automatically makes more than 60 seasonal and classic cocktails, each and under 30 seconds at the push of a button. And right now, Bartisian is having a huge site wide sale. You can get $100 off any cocktail maker or cocktail maker bundle when you spend $400 or more. So if the cocktail lover in your life has been good this year, all the right kind of bad, get them Bartisian. At the push of a button, make bar quality cosmopolitan, martinis, manhatans and more, all in just 30 seconds, all for a hundred off. Amazing toys aren't just for kids. Get a hundred off a cocktail maker when you spend 400 through Cyber Monday. Visit bartisian.com/cocktail. That's B-A-R-T-E-S-I-A-N.com/cocktail. Listen up, folks. Time could be running out to lock in a historic yield at public.com. As of September 23rd, 2024, you can lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account. But here's the thing. The Federal Reserve just announced a big rate cut. And the plan is for more rate cuts this year and in 2025 as well. That's good news if you're looking to buy a home, but it might not be so good for the interest you earn on your cash. So if you want to lock in a 6% or higher yield with a diversified portfolio of high yield and investment grade bonds, you might want to act fast. The good news? It only takes a couple of minutes to sign up at public.com. And once you lock in your yield, you can earn regular interest payments, even as rates decline. Lock in a 6% or higher yield with a bond account at public.com. But hurry, your yield is not locked in until you invest. Brought to you by public investing member Finn Rhett SIPC, yield to worst is not guaranteed, not an investment recommendation. All investing involves risk. Visit public.com/disclosures for more info.
SUBSCRIBE TO THE NEW BNC CHANNEL: https://bit.ly/45Pspyl
Ad Free & Bonus Episodes: https://bit.ly/3OZxwpr
NEW MERCH: https://shoptmgstudios.com
This week, Brooke welcomes her new child Jonathan to the world and breaks down his adoption story, while Connor talks about his weekend at home with Max. Plus, Connor fights e. coli and Brooke celebrates Gublerween.
Join our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5356639204457124/
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://betterhelp.com/bandc and get on your way to being your best self.
Get the coverage you need. Check out https://StateFarm.com or try their app because Like a Good Neighbor, State Farm is there.
Get cozy for fall! Head to https://Quince.com/bandc for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.
B+C IG: https://www.instagram.com/bncmap/
B+C Twitter: https://twitter.com/bncmap
TMG Studios YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/tinymeatgang
TMG Studios IG: https://www.instagram.com/realtmgstudios/
TMG Studios Twitter: https://twitter.com/realtmgstudios
BROOKE https://www.instagram.com/brookeaverick https://twitter.com/ladyefron https://www.tiktok.com/@ladyefron
CONNOR https://www.instagram.com/fibula/ https://twitter.com/fibulaa https://www.tiktok.com/@fibulaa
Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood.
CHAPTERS
00:00 Clearing our Throats
00:39 Intro
00:59 Early Birds
02:06 Drunk at the Sweat Tour
03:17 Bfast on the Plane
06:04 Becoming Mcconaughey
09:57 Reuniting with Max
11:28 Betterhelp
12:52 Brooke’s a Mother
19:19 Jonathan’s Backstory
23:02 State Farm
24:24 Beautiful Mornings
26:16 New Stress Dreams
29:51 Gubler Updates
32:22 Shawarma Poisoning
35:40 Colanders
37:25 Quince
39:33 Juul Class Action
42:54 Nostalgia We Can’t Relive
45:03 The Forgotten iPhone
45:52 Radiation
48:28 Clout Chasing Connor’s Death
50:50 StateFarm
52:39 Trump Serves Fries
54:12 Quick Tease
56:00 Connor’s Travels
56:47 Andrew’s Chicken Shop
59:49 Motherhood’s Lessons
1:02:55 READING
1:04:33 The Man in Mesh Shorts
1:05:37 One More Thing…
1:07:18 BYE!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
