“Growing up in church while living for yourself.”
Passage: Matthew 5:6; Ecclesiastes 12; 1 Timothy 4:12
Speaker: Kurt Goglin
Bridgewater Tunkhannock’s Podcast
Your Story: Week 3
been away for two weeks at Festel and Conklin and speaking and sharing my story there and I really missed being here. I loved it, don't get me wrong, but this is home. And so it's good to be back with you here today and I'm excited to share my story with you. One of the nice things about being in Festel and Conklin was we had to vote to launch Festel and Conklin is a new multi-site church and the vote was affirmative and now that process is going to begin. So I got to talk to people in Festel and Conklin about that. There's a ton of excitement about how God's going to work in that. There's some nervousness, right? There's some apprehension, it's pretty normal. But at the same time, one of the part of the DNA of Bridgewater is multiplication. And although this is something different launching a multi-site church that will no longer be part of Bridgewater, it is different. But the reality is that God is going to use that and to see more and more people come to know Jesus up in the New York area. So we're really, really excited to see what God does there. And today members have three things actually to vote for for the 2025 budget for the two new overseers and also for a new building for Tonkanic. So it's an all-in-one vote and that would be to sell the 92 building and buy the Presbyterian church. So as a part of that process, and I know many of you have been here a long time and have experienced that, and there's probably been a little bit of frustration with the process, but the reality is just like anything else in life that God wants us to trust him. He wants us to make plans, he wants us to be thorough, and he wants us to pray and trust him with each step along the way. And so we're trusting him with this. So that's up to you members today to vote for those three things, and I will say that I thought about that this morning in the 930 service where I could not find places for people to sit. I said, "Wow, how nice will that be to actually have a place for everybody to sit?" So I'm looking forward to what God's going to continue to do because he continues to use you guys. He continues to use those of you that are here to reach more people for himself using your story. And so I'm going to share with you my story this morning. So for those of you that don't know, I grew up near Cleveland, Ohio, right? So I'm like all the Cleveland teams. Sorry, I don't have a choice. That's you know, where I'm from. So I'm from that area. I came out here to attend Baptist Bible College, and that is where I met my wife Amanda. We have been married 21 years now, and that is something that she's put up with me for that long. But it's exciting because we're completely opposite personalities. If you haven't noticed, we are very, very different and God uses that as long as we trust him in it. And it's neat to see how God works and all that. And it's been awesome raising our two sons, Elijah and Ezekiel. And I think most of you know them, Elijah's here today. So he's visiting back from college. We get a bonus. We're like, oh, he's back from college. Yay, we're all together. So, and then Ezekiel's on tech there so you can give him a pat on the back later for all that hard work. So, so that's my family, but I wanted to share my story of salvation. And to start off with at five years old, I went to church. I heard the gospel of Jesus that he died in the cross and rose again for my sins. I went home, had a conversation with my father, and my father prayed with me. And that was when I decided to give my life to Jesus as my forgiver and leader at five years old. I then I grew up in the church. I was at church every Sunday with my parents. My dad was, he was an elder in a church and a youth leader. And he was an overall example to me. One of the things that was most impactful for me, if I got up earlier in the morning early enough, because I didn't like to get up early, if I got up early enough in the morning, I would find my father sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bible. And that was just the biggest example to me. He didn't just talk about it. He, he lived it. My mom was the same way. She did, she did the bulletin at church for those of you that remember church bulletins. She did that. And then she wrangled all five of us to get to church. And that was quite the feat on a Sunday morning. So I'm thankful for my, for my parents. So as I said, I went to church every Sunday. I was a kind and caring kid. I always, but I always saw an acceptance from people at school, in my public school. I was a shy and passive kid. And I, I joined sports and I, and I got some acceptance from that, but that was limited too. And then up into junior high and high school, I began to stop going to church. I began getting involved heavily in drinking alcohol, going and attending parties where I could get drunk. And, and there was a part of me that liked how the alcohol decreased my inhibitions. It, although I didn't know what that word meant back then. All right. But it, it decreased my inhibitions, meaning that I could, I was, I was bold. I wasn't shy. I was bold. And, I mean, I could talk to girls, right? And all this, which is not, that's not the way you want to do it. So, I, I continued to play sports. I'd invite my peers to parties after sporting events. And my parents, my parents kept going out of town. I don't know about you where, where you fall on the children line there, but I was the last of five. And my parents were super strict with the first one. And then less, and less, and less to, then I could do whatever I wanted. And, and that was not good. So my parents trusted me, although they shouldn't have. So when they would go out of town, and I would throw these big beer bashes, and that was, it was not a good thing. It caused a lot of trouble for me. And then I find myself on a Saturday morning, with the hangover going to basketball practice. And, and then my dad would go and complain to the coach, why I wasn't playing, like getting playing time. And I, and I was, I didn't say this because my dad didn't know at the time what I was doing. I, but I was like, "Dad, you have no idea. I'm at fault. I'm the reason I'm not playing." Because I'm over here getting, getting drunk and it's terrible. So, so that was a part of my life. There was also an aspect of my life that was really important to me. And that was rap music. I really like rap music. And I really, really did like it back then. People find that to be surprising for some reason. But, so I really do like it. And so, after I shared my story, some of the pastors encouraged me to do a rap video. So, this circulated social media in the summertime, but I wanted to give you a glimpse of, you know, some of that time in my life. (audience laughing) ♪ As I walk through the valley of the shadow ♪ ♪ I take a look at my life and every alarm ♪ ♪ Just touch it up 'cause I've been razzin' and laughin' ♪ ♪ So bold and even my momma thinks that my mind is gonna ♪ ♪ Keep those from now and then and then and then and then ♪ (audience laughing) - Oh, my. Oh, my. (audience applauding) All right. Yes, I know that was rough. (audience laughing) But I loved rap music and, you know, you could find me. I had my Chevy Cavalier with my 250-watt amp, my bit, the box with two 12-inch subwoofers in my trunk. And so, you know, when you're just sitting there in your house and your windows begin to shake, all right? And there's sure enough that there's that annoying kid coming down the road bumpin' along. That was me. All right, that was me. And so on behalf of all those kids today, I apologize for that. But I loved jamming to music. Unfortunately, the time it was explicit rap music that was not good for my soul. And so that was one of the things I loved to do. And it reminds me, this time of my life reminds me of a passage of scripture in Ecclesiastes. And King Solomon says, in Ecclesiastes chapter 12, he says, "Everything is meaningless," says the teacher. Completely meaningless. And so I want to, what point I wanna drive home mainly today is that we must find our satisfaction in God. We must find our satisfaction in God. You see, I sought to find satisfaction in life in the pursuit of self. I thought, if I only dared to talk to people, then I'd be good to go. If I only had a girlfriend, then I'd have all that I needed. I dated a girl my sophomore year, then again, my junior year. And then it was ultimately, it was a truly meaningless. And it was only the pursuit of self. I thought I'd be fulfilled by having a girlfriend or having the courage to be cool around my perceived friends. But it was all meaningless. For those of you who use other translations of scripture, it says vanity of vanities, all is vanity. Essentially, this passage emphasizes everything being completely vain or useless or meaningless or useless. Then, as I was going through all this, one of the things that happened was I threw this alcohol party at my house and my parents were out of town and I threw this party and it was sort of getting out of hand and my sister was there. My older sister was there and she was supposed to watch me. And she said, "No, I said I'm having a party." She said, "No, I said too bad, I'm having a party anyways." And I never forget, 'cause I'd been drinking that night. She got mad at me 'cause somebody did something or other. And I yelled at my sister and I swore at her. Now you gotta understand, I don't swear. And just in general, it was just not something I was brought up with in my household. But I yelled at her swore at her and I hurt her in that way. And one of the things that was the most impactful for me was her response to me. Her response to me was that after that, it wasn't that night, it was later on, she wrote me a letter. She wrote me a letter expressing how someone so close to you can hurt you. And she's talking about how I hurt her that I've refused to listen to her and then I cursed her out at my party. And I was like, I was really floored by it because the letter had so much grace and so much humility. She, you know what she even did? She apologized for being so hard on me about my explicit rap music. She's like, "I'm sorry, I'm so hard on you about your music." Like, who is this person? Like, why are you so kind? Why are you so gracious to me? I don't deserve it. And then reminded me of God's grace for me. And so what happened was that happened and then one night I attended a church service on a Saturday night, it wasn't even, it wasn't in the church that my family attended. I don't even remember what church it was to this day, but it was a church. I don't even know how we got there. But my friend and I, who we had made decisions to give our life to Christ when we were young, we had been living this party lifestyle. We'd made professions of faith as kids, but at this night, we were both convicted by the Spirit of God for the kind of life that we'd been living. And we decided to completely follow Jesus with our whole hearts that night. We decided we were done with the alcohol. Instead of living for ourselves, we were going to begin truly living for Jesus. It was that night, although I understood salvation at five, I unrecognized my sin at that basic level. I didn't really understand that God desired a relationship with me. He wanted something more. I began to understand that my life is only complete. And I only ultimately would find satisfaction in Him above all things. Which brings me, this is my life verse. I love this verse. Matthew 5, 6 says, "Blessed are those who hunger "and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. We must seek His righteousness. Ultimately, we must seek His righteousness. You see, I hungered and I thirsted for something more. I sought satisfaction through what I wanted. I thought if I only had enough courage, if I only had a girlfriend, if I only had enough to drink, no. It was meaningless compared to knowing Jesus. If we claim that we want to please God, and we want to seek His righteousness, then we must be in His word. As we learned in our most recent series, direction, not intention determines destination. When God truly got a hold of my life, there was a change. I made a decision to be committed, right? But that decision led to action. That led to action, I learned how to do a daily quiet time. It made a huge difference in my life. I know they say statistically that if we spend four days per week reading God's word and pursuing God by reading God's word in prayer, that makes a statistical difference and overcoming barriers in our life. A statistical difference. And you know what? This was the difference that God was making in my life. I don't forget this. We were on the road traveling one time. And again, like I said, I like rap music. So it was really the beat. I'm all about the beat, right? So there was the beat, and so we one time put one of those old explicit rap CDs, right? CDs in there, remember those, right? So the CD was in there and then it was playing and it was, but this time it was different. I was like, oh, it just hurt my stomach. I was like, this is horrible. And so my friend ejected the CD and he threw it out the window, right? We're like, no, we can't even take it anymore because he gets what? Our hearts had changed. There was a difference. We didn't desire that anymore. And this one song was really a part of that life. I can't tell you how many times I've listened to this song. How many of you have ever heard of the band "Jars of Clay?" All right, there's a few out there, okay? "Jars of Clay" was super popular in the 90s and my favorite song by them is called "Love Song for a Savior." And so often in life, we wanna check off the boxes. We wanna do, all right, well, this is what God wants. We do something to do it, but it's about the relationship. It's about pursuing Jesus with everything. And so these are some of the lyrics from this song. It seems too easy to call you savior, not close enough to call you God. So I sit and I think of the words I can mention to show my devotion. I want to fall in love with you. I want to fall in love with you. I want to fall in love with you. This was my heart prayer to God. It wasn't just, oh, I just wanna do the right thing. I wanna fall in love with you because that produced the change in my life pursuing Jesus with my whole heart. The song points continually to our longing for Jesus about seeking Him and His righteousness. And if we do that, everything else will be so appealing. I mean, it won't be so appealing. Everything else won't be so appealing if I'm pursuing Jesus with my whole heart. If that, if Jesus is the most important thing in my life, then those other things will begin to fall away. If I'm pursuing Him with my whole heart and that is what happened in my life, those kinds of things will, they will lose their pull. Just like we threw that CD out the window because that lost its pull. Solomon says, in Ecclesiastes chapter 12 verse 13, that's the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion. Fear God and obey His commandments. For this is everyone's duty. See, this is Solomon who wrote the book of Ecclesiastes. He considered to be the wisest man who ever lived. He experienced everything that anybody could have wanted to experience in life. And his conclusion was, it's completely meaningless. And this was the final verse. This is the end of the book where he states, all these things are meaningless, they're all vain. And he concludes, what does give meaning? And that is God. God gives meaning. He gives meaning, he gives satisfaction, he gives contentment. But it's when we seek Him out with our whole hearts. We thirst for right living according to His word. The word fear here has to do with reverence. We have this reverence for God that we're not just doing it because we feel guilty for not doing it, we're doing it because we love Him. And we desire to please Him. So, in the midst of what I was going through, there was these students that went to my youth group that were constantly inviting me to youth group. And I ignored them. And I tell you what, how cool it was when I finally came to youth group. And they were so excited. They were so excited when I came to youth group and they said, we've been praying for you. Like, wow, I mean, they didn't really know me. I mean, they were praying for me. They meant the world to me. God began to use my friend and I in the public school we attended. There was a drastic change. The courage I sought and alcohol I found in Jesus. My friend and I boldly proclaimed our faith. We started a Bible study after school. My friend led the football team in prayer. We're constantly inviting people to youth group. I'd fill my little Chevy Cavalier, right? I think it seats five. I think we got seven in there. All right. I mean, we've filled it, still had the subwoofers in there. So we're still bumping. I still like Christian rap, right? The good Christian rap, some of it's eh, you know, but the good stuff. So, began inviting people to youth group and people were coming to youth group and they were coming to know Jesus. Soon after that, I had opportunities to lead other teenagers to Jesus. That was awesome. And a lot of the people we invited came because they were like, what's up with this? Could we throw these parties? And then he's not doing that anymore. Why is he not doing that anymore? What's changed in his life? And then they'd wanna come to youth group. And they came and many came to know Jesus, but there was one that didn't. And they refused to go to youth group. And so you know when you have the yearbook and your senior year and there's little blurbs under your picture that say things that happened in high school, right? So here's a little blurb from my high school yearbook. All right. So this young lady has under their favorite saying, "No Kurt, I don't wanna go to youth group." (audience laughs) So she never went, but she knew that I wanted her to come to youth group. And the reality is I said, don't give up. Don't give up on reaching out to other people because these youth group kids, they invited me for years. They prayed for me for years. And then I got connected in there. And God changed my life and allowed me to be used by Him to work in the lives of others. And it was awesome. Which reminds me, I think when I think about that, I think back in the scripture right here. It's 1 Timothy 4, 12. Says, "Don't let anyone think less of you "because you are young. "Be an example to all believers in what you say "in the way you live, in your love, "your faith and in your purity. "Be an example of the way that you live, your life." During those teenage years, my youth pastor, he helped me develop leadership skills. I learned how to lead people to Jesus. I even had a couple of friends at the time. A one who had bipolar disorder and one who had schizophrenia. And they both came to know Jesus. Now, that began where God began to desert a story desire within me to help other people. And I was a little out of my league at the time, trying to help them. But I tell you what, God worked on me in that way to help them and it gave me that desire. So then I went off to Bible College. I went off to Word of Life, Bible Institute. And my love for God's Word and for ministering to people came and it grew there while I was at Word of Life. I grew, I had the opportunity to evangelism in Orlando and Tampa and even on the beaches of Sarasota. I always say that Word of Life Bible Institute has two campuses, one in upstate New York where it snows a lot and one in Florida where it's really nice and sunny. And I chose Florida. That was not a spiritual decision. That was, I liked the sunshine. (congregation laughing) So, but God used it anyways. And then after that, I attended Baptist Bible College here in PA and the counseling program really piqued my interest. And I wanted to help people using the Bible. So I thought that was interesting. I graduated with my degree from there and I spent all this time applying for jobs and that were available and they were all secular jobs. So I worked as a therapeutic staff support which was a one-on-one for kids. Partial hospitalization therapist, case manager and a psychiatric rehabilitation specialist originally. And then I was an outpatient therapist after I got my master's degree. So all this time, I'm ministering in the church and I'm doing youth ministry and things like that. Whatever God would ask of me. And then, even to the point where my church was doing a photo directory, all right? So, because my wife and I were like, "Oh, well, we'll do whatever." So we're like, "We'll create a photo directory." So, I soon came to realize that people do not like having their picture taken. (congregation laughing) It's actually a quite miserable experience. (laughing) So we're pulling people aside, trying to get pictures of them for this board. And it was just not a pleasant experience. But the reality was, is that we were open and willing to do whatever God had for us to do. So all that time though, I was working in the secular field for 20 years. And at one point, I even thought about starting my own practice. And what I would constantly say to God is like, "Okay, God, I think you really want me to stay here. "I think you want me to be doing this." But it's frustrating because I wanna give people the Bible. I wanna give people Jesus because that's what they need more than anything. And that would be frustrated. And then God'd get a hold of my heart and then he would use me when I would submit to him. But it was really something because what I realized is that I had opportunity with people that would probably never step into a church. I had opportunity, if they said they were Christian, I had the opportunity to use a strength-based approach and help them with God's word. Now, if they didn't, I was sort of stuck, right? But then sometimes I would sort of disobey. And sometimes I couldn't take it anymore. I'm like, "They needed no Jesus." And I'd be like, "Take him over to my office." All right, here's the gospel. Here it is and I'd lay it out there and I don't think I ever got in trouble for that. But regardless, I was just, you know, for all that time I struggled, but yet God continued to work. I really enjoy doing discipleship and the small groups. That's where my heart is. I've done like doing most of my experiences in group therapy and I've seen how group dynamics work and how they can help people. And then you add Jesus to that and it's just awesome because Jesus truly changes lives. How many times I've met with people for therapy and then I've been like, "Man, you need to get connected. You need to get in a small group or a Bible study or something like that." And because it's not enough. It wasn't enough for therapy. They needed to go and get connected with other people who are following Jesus and they need to follow Jesus together. And that's where life transformation can truly happen. God has done some amazing things through small groups that I've seen here at Bridgewater. And I'm just so excited how the God continues to work. So I challenge you if you've not. If you're like, "Oh, I'm still hesitant on that. I know Kurt always talks about it and he doesn't be quiet about it." But I really challenge you to get connected in a small group, talk about your story. So I constantly would ask myself, why am I in mental health therapy so long? Why am I doing this so long? But the reality is, God opened the doors. I started as a pastor two and a half years ago and God opens doors for me to be in places where I'm able to go in the school where I can speak on stress management in the school because of the credentials that I have. I can go into counseling centers. I can go into all these different places that I wouldn't otherwise been able to do if God did not first work and have me prepared for what he's doing in my life right now. And I have relationships with people and connections because of that. I didn't see what God was doing. But God, right, it's not like that in life sometimes when we're looking back, "Oh, I didn't see what you're doing, God." But now I see, I see what you're doing. And so as we wrap up this morning, I wanted to encourage you that God can use you. I want you to believe that God can use you. So we must first, right? We must first find our satisfaction in God. Primarily, above all things, find our satisfaction in God. And we must seek his righteousness, not our agenda, what we want in life. We must seek his righteousness according to his word. And then we must believe that God can use us. If you've placed your faith in Jesus as your forgiver and leader, then the Holy Spirit resides in you and there's power. There's power in your story. There's power in the spirit of God to reach other people using your story. And he wants to use each one of us. That's what amazes me about what God's doing here is that that's exactly what he's doing. So if you're sitting there thinking, and it doesn't matter if you're young, you're old, you're somewhere in between, I don't know if I'm young or old, I think I'm in the middle, the man who I'm talking to. But the reality is God can use you and he will, if you let him, he will transform your life who will work in and through you. So my encourage to you this week is to share your story with others. You're gonna be given this on the way out to puzzle piece and it represents your story. God has a plan and this puzzle piece represents your story that fits into God's big plan. So you have value, you're important, you mean something to God and he's got a plan for you. So take this, put it on your refrigerator, remember that you have a story and that God wants to use your story. He wants to change your life and work in and through you to change the lives of others. Let's pray. Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this day, God, we thank you that you love us so much, that you set your son Jesus to die in the cross for our sins and to rise again so that we could have life. I pray God that you would help us whatever roadblock may be in the way from us following with our whole hearts. God that you would do that transformative work in our hearts, that we would submit everything to you. Say, God, I need you. I can't do this life without you. Change us, draw us to you and use us as a light in this dark world, Lord. We love you and we praise you. We pray all these things in your son's precious name.