Watch the YouTube version of this episode HERE
Are you looking for a way to let go of negative comments? In this episode of the Maximum Lawyer Podcast, Tyson Mutrux discusses strategies for managing difficult interactions, particularly within the legal profession.
Managing difficult conversations is a tough aspect of working in the legal space. This is the case with colleagues, clients or strangers. While chatting with a fellow colleague, Tyson came across an interesting tactic for dealing with difficult people. The trick is to understand that people are not arguing with you but their own imagination. This is more so for those that make comments on social media. Most people who do this are trying to get their dopamine hit by getting a reaction out of you. If you understand this concept, small comments or moments of disrespect will not bother you.
Take a listen.
02:14 Understanding Rude Comments
03:25 Mental Trick for Reframing
04:25 Recognizing Attention Seekers
Tune in to today’s episode and checkout the full show notes here.
[MUSIC PLAYING] Run your law firm the right way. The right way. This is the Maximum Lawyer Podcast. Maximum Lawyer Podcast. Your hosts, Jim Hacking, and Tyson Nutrips. Let's partner up and maximize your firm. Welcome to the show. Welcome back to another episode of the Maximum Lawyer Podcast. This is a Saturday episode. And I want to talk to you about something fun that I learned to deal with difficult people a little bit. And I'll get to that in a moment. Tell you about a conversation I had with one of our new attorneys. And I'll tell you about that in a second. But before I do that, though, I would love it if you would text me or submit your questions or comments at maximumlawyer.com/ask or text me 314-500-192-60 on anything you have question, comment, concern about starting or running a law firm. That way we can answer those live. I say live, but I'm going to keep saying live. Live on the show. So we'll play your recording. And I'll answer it. And it'll be a lot of fun. So make sure you mention your name so we can give a little bit of credit for it. But I would love that, maximumlawyer.com/ask or 314-500-192-60. You can text us a video, too. That's a way you can do it. So that would be something pretty cool to do. So do that. But I want to tell you about this thing that I heard that you can deal to help you deal with difficult people. And not all difficult people, but some difficult people. I was talking to one of our new attorneys, Quincy. She was telling me about an attorney that we deal with on a regular basis. She's not super fond of. He's kind of a jerk. He works for a defense firm. So those of you that do playness work, you know what I mean. So he's not the friendliest guy. Now, this thing-- here's the thing. I wish I could tell you where I heard it. I wish I could tell you where I read it or I heard it. I can't remember if I heard it somewhere or I read it. But I can tell you it's a pretty cool way of viewing people that either are rude to you in passing or they are. They make a mean comment on one of your posts. That was a pretty cool way of dealing with it. So if you think about-- let's say that you post something on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok, whatever, maybe. It doesn't matter where you post it. But someone goes on there and they don't know you. They don't know you. The information that they have about you is pre-limited. They see your name, maybe, or just your username. They see whatever is in your little profile, your bio. So they know very little information about you. And they make some snarky comment. Maybe you put something on there and they assume that you are some political affiliation, right, left, whatever. Well, what I think is really funny about this is that they know essentially nothing about you. So they are making a lot of assumptions about you on very little information. So the little mental trick here, which I think is pretty cool, is they're not attacking you. They're not arguing with you because of that. They're actually arguing with their own imagination. So let that sink in a second. They have drawn all these conclusions based on sometimes just the thing you wrote, just the one little-- and it could be a three-word sentence, or a very quick comment, or a smiley face, or something. So they know nothing about you. Because let's face it. Most people aren't going to-- before they comment, they're not going to go in and check your profile. They're just going to go in and just make a comment. That's what most people do that are trolls. So they do that. So the reality is what they're doing is they're just arguing with themselves. They're arguing with their own imagination. Same goes for anyone that you deal with, that you interact with out in the real world, where they can be rude. They don't know nothing about you. They can make a snarky comment to you, whatever. And the reality is that they are arguing with their own imagination, which I think is just a fabulous way of viewing negative people in the world. I think that's a phenomenal mental trick to kind of get over it. Then another thing is-- and this is a bonus within the bonus-- if you also understand that a lot of people that they like to poke the bear a little bit, the ones that like to do that, the ones that like to make those snarky comments, the ones that like to make those mean comments on social media, the ones that when you are at the store, they want a button in front of you. Many, many of those people, if not most of those people, are trying to get that dopamine hit. What I mean by that is that they want a reaction from you. That's how they get their dopamine hit. So if you understand that, you're less likely to react. So next time-- and this is a nice little challenge for you. The next time that someone you can tell, they're trying to piss you off. You use that. So just like, I know what they want from me. They want me to react. I'm not going to give them what they want. And so I use that if something comes up, because I know. And I see this just how it works sometimes whenever I'm dealing with insurance adjusters, or if I'm dealing with defense attorneys. Some of them I know how they act. The vast majority of the people I deal with are actually pretty pleasant. As much as I like to pick on insurance adjusters and defense attorneys, the vast majority are pleasant. But there are a few that you can tell. They just want to just-- they want to poke the bear. And they want to get that dopamine hit. And I just tell myself, I'm not going to give it to them. I just kind of smile, move on. And then I forget about them. I don't give them another thought the rest of the day. So use those little bit tricks to deal with difficult people, because it's just not worth your time. That is all I have. So this makes up for the last episode. They went really long. It was about 20 minutes or so. This one, it's going to be under seven minutes, maybe, unless I keep talking. But that is all I have. These are meant to be bite size. So this one's a bite size for you. Before I go, though, just shoot me a text. I'd love to hear from you. 314-501-9260. It is always fun to hear from people get comments and questions. So make sure you do that. 314-501-9260. Until next week, though, remember that consistent action is the blueprint that turns your goals into reality. Take care, everybody. Thanks for listening to the Maximum Lawyer Badger. Stay in contact with your host and to access more content, go to maximumlawyer.com. Have a great week and catch you next time. (upbeat music)
