- Is he his conner in a meeting in the upstairs restroom? - I think he had to call his lawyer again. - Really? At a time like this? Did you hear that? What is that? Sound. It's beautiful. - What up, bitch? (laughing) - Do not go in there. (laughing) - Oh my gosh, your panties are peeking out. - What's with Adam? - They're peeking out of your robe. - This is kind of a new thing I'm doing. I just pictured myself with more access to the free world from my legs. - You look great. - Thanks. Do you think I have normal looking knees now that we're on subject? - I was looking at my knees in a photo the other day and I'm like, why do they look like faces? - Brooke, it looks like, you know, babies kick in the womb. Like if a baby was like-- - It's like an ultrasound. - Pushing this on the womb. That's what my knees look like. Look when I stand. Look when I stand. - No, I, yeah. Yep. Everyone's knees. You have a muscle there though. That's probably good. - It literally looks like I'm pregnant in both my knee caps. And this is like a baby stuck in there. When I saw it, now I can't unsee it. I'm like, it's like I have haunted knees. - Yeah, my knees were really haunted in all of my Halloween pictures. 'Cause your legs were out too. - Yeah, my legs were completely exposed. - Was it not cold? - It was freezing, Connor. - Yeah. - Yeah. But luckily I didn't go out. I just took photos. - That's fine. - Yeah. - There's no shame in that. - No. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - Halloween's over you guys, so stop dragging it out. Okay? - It's done. - I'm over it. - I'm completely, I genuinely am over it. - I'm sick. - I'm not just saying that. I'm so exhausted. - We're adults. We don't need 11 days of Halloween, you know? - I'm on the same page with you. November 1st is Thanksgiving. - Right. - Halloween is over. - That being said, I did go trick-or-treating over the weekend. - How was that? - Oh my God, it was magic. - Oh, that's amazing. - It was great. I went house to house. I mean, I was-- - With children. - With children, yeah. I was accompanying children. - Yeah. - I was hanging out with children. - Right. - You were a supervisor. - I was a chap around. I was a chap around. And I fully were taking kids to the door. I was, we were loading up and hitting the road. It was so fun. And I had like a spiked apple side. It was just like, so perfect. And I had such a good time. - Oh, I never thought about the fact that like the adults were probably drunk when we were trick-or-treating. - Fully, you're just walking around. We had spiked apple cider. - Yeah. - It was so cool. And I was up on the east coast. I was in Boston. - Was it raining? - Well, I was outside of Boston. - Oh, oh no, no. - Heatwave? - 80 degrees at night on October 31st. - In Boston. - In Boston. - Back when I was young, in college, in Boston, I think it snowed by that time. - Let's get you to bed, grandma. It was so hot. Like it's, I don't think that we're gonna have, I remember in Texas being like, oh, we can wear, I gotta wear a jacket with my costume because it's gonna be cold later. - Leshy colored long-sleeve shirt under all my costumes. - 'Cause you needed layers 'cause people were like, I don't want you to later on be like, I'm cold, you know? - Even when I didn't need layers, my mom would make me, and it just like led to so much resentment. - Brooke, I know. - Yeah. - They were right though. - No, I don't feel that way. - You didn't need the layers? - I did not need the layers. - I know you. - I was not cold. - I know you, and from the outside looking in, you needed the layers. - I was not cold. - Like I'm looking through like, seance through the looking glass. What is the "Friggy Friday" book that the mom is writing? - Oh, don't tell me. - It's of course-- - Something is through the looking glass, that's for sure. - It's like, oh, great. - Something like "Shes an F" sense. - "Shes an F" sense. - Like, a word like that. - Then we look up-- - It's an option. - Amy Lee Curtis' book in "Friggy Friday." - Someone is in their car yelling at their idea-- - That would be a good Halloween costume. - The book. - The book. - Go ahead and read that. - Through the looking glass, no, no, no, 'cause there was a something-- - There was a set. - Through the looking glass. - We need the underheading. What's that called? - Renaissance, Renaissance. - Renaissance? - Was it Renaissance? - No, it wasn't. 'Cause they couldn't pronounce the word. I also couldn't pronounce the word, but once you get it, it like scratches an H in your brain. - Yeah. - The subheading, that's the word I'm looking for. - I think it's the title, and then the subheading was through the looking glass. - No, I think the subheading is effervescence. - It's not effervescence. - But like, along those lines. - Why did they keep calling-- Right there, if we can zoom in on this. Oh, you're right, Renaissance. In retrograde. - Renaissance, this isn't really itch that scratch. I was talking about this. - No, it didn't, did it. - No, I remember it really like being like, oof, that feels good to be able to say. That's like when I talked about, I made a TikTok about this, but, and I realized how many people are not ever affected by this and this never comes across any other people's desk. In high school, like when I went to camp and stuff, a lot of people wore shirts that's in. It was like the school that they went to. They went to E-P-I-S-C-O-P-A-L. - We had an episcopal too. - Okay, well, I always said episcopal, but my brain always reminds me, it's episcopal, and that gives me chills. I'm like, oh, that's a word that feels good when you, 'cause there's what you could say episcopal all day if you're not corrected, but then when your brain's like, no, bro, it's episcopal. I'm like, thank you, that's so awesome. - That kind of happened to me with the word epitome. - Epitome. - I thought epitome and epitome were two different words that meant the same thing. - Yeah. - Yeah, so I was using epitome until far too late. - I get it. - Far too late in life. - I get it, 'cause if you only read a word, that word is kind of honestly, shouting your cat, like in your head, that word is epitome, until proven guilty. - Did you have a word like on your spelling tests when you were younger, that you messed up so bad, and now you'll never, ever mess it up? - Wanna know what it is? - Yeah. - Mosquito. - Really? - Yeah, I came in third place in the spelling bee because I couldn't spell mosquito, and that's why I always say mosquito, because now I remember how to spell it. Why did I put a K in it? Oh my God. - Wait, how does Mosquito help you realize there's a K? - I don't know, 'cause there's no K, it's a QU IT. - Or how does it make you realize it's not a K, 'cause you're epitizing the up. - Mosquito. Now, instead of mosquito, you know, if I could go back. - I feel like Mosquito would help. - No, 'cause that now feels like an Italian dish. (laughing) Can I get the Mosquito? Ew, now I'm picturing a bunch of ground up mosquitoes on my pasta. - All good. - In you. - I'm a schedule. - Schedule's hard. - Yeah. - Do you hear how I see it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, schedule's really hard. - I say it, schedule. - It should be-- - Give your hair a little schedule. - S-K-E-U-L-E. Let's make it easy. - I think I have a words list that are unnecessarily hard. - Necessary is impossible. - Restaurant? - Necessary indefinitely. - Or nerves, go to hell. - Oh, that was another epitome. I thought hors d'oeuvre was a different word. (laughing) - Or d'oeuvre. - Than hors d'oeuvres. - So, when you read a menu at a restaurant, you're like, oh, the hors d'oeuvres are coming out? - 150. - We're at a really nice fancy restaurant. They have hors d'oeuvres. - Yeah. Thought it was a different thing that meant the same word. - I don't meant the same thing. - Like I'm not making fun of you, I totally agree. - I know. - That's like every time I go to the restaurant, I have to say bolognaise to the guy and I don't want to, but I have to go, I have to go type it in and then I go bolognaise. Okay, and then I have to say that in my head, can't have a conversation until they take my order. - Yeah. I used to avoid ordering Capri's A salads for so long because that was a tough one for me too. - So, it's Capri's A? - It's Capri's A. - Don't get me started about prosciutto. - Prosciutto's fine. - Not for me? - Really? - Not for me over here? No, I go, can I get how you say prosciutto? - I'm a big proponent. I don't know if I used that word right either, but I'm a big fan of just pointing to the menu and saying I'll have this, thank you. - That will do it for me. Yeah, because now, well, there's this sandwich I really want that just came out at that restaurant down the street, Giada. - Oh my God, Giada, yeah, there's one by me. - I'm just like dreading going to the restaurant and ordering the gobbler. Like, why did you name it that? I don't wanna look at a man in the face and say, I'll take the gobbler. Like he's gonna be like, okay, meet me out back. - Sushi restaurants always do that. They have the craziest roles, like the orgasm. Like, can I have the sexy role? Like, it's like, what, or why? Why? - I mean, the bad little slut role please. - Can I have the dirty, dirty horror role? Like, what? - Can I get the role that you found inside of your body? (laughing) - No. (laughing) No, Brooke, I've been going to this restaurant for so long, Sushi on Fire. And I've been getting the 9/11 role and they always are like-- - No, it's the 9/11. - The 9/11. (laughing) Can I get the 9/11 role and they're always like, I'm like, oh, did you take it off the menu? It's the 9/11 role. Well, 'cause they don't put a dash in the menu. - It's not your fault. I don't want you to think that your fault. - Maybe change the name. - Yeah, change all, like, just like, make the name of the role, what's in the role. - What it is? - Yeah. Yeah, I'm craving Sushi now. Which is perfect because my stomach's not receiving any food well. - I was gonna say I have a condition called LODS, a late onset Disney stomach. (laughing) And I did not coin that. That was coined last night, in the middle of the night by my friend David, who was experiencing LODS in the middle of the night. - What do you eat at Disney? - Corn. - Okay, got a message for you. - Like street corn. I'll let me walk you through, like, what everyone kind of have. Spicy pickle, street corn, chili. Like popcorn, turkey leg. Then, like, for breakfast, I had a pasta with a cream base and had gotten onsite food poisoning. - Yeah. - A immediate onsite food poisoning. That kept threatening to show up on the rides, too. Which was a little spooky. And then, top it all off, like, with ribs. - Why not? - For dinner, 'cause why not. Churros. - Fuck it. - Yeah. - Yeah, let's just do churros easier. And then, there's these huge, huge coffees with, like, so much cream and cocoa puffs in them. That's kind of, like, the icing on the cake. - I hate to say, like, I don't wanna, like, down your Disney experience or give you Disney egg, but that's gluttonous, girl. - No, it was gluttonous. But the thing is, you're also walking 20,000 steps. - Yeah. - So, I don't feel too bad about it, but my body feels bad about it. And that's why I'm having late on-set. - Yeah. - L-O-D-S. So, feels weird having it in my Glenda costume, 'cause she doesn't poop. - She doesn't. - She bubbles. - Hey, guys, we wanna take a quick break to thank a sponsor of today's episode, Twisted T. Halloween is over. Thanksgiving is just around the corner. One of my favorite parts about these upcoming weeks are the Friendsgiving parties. I love the time of the year where this is. - Exactly. - Thanksgiving. - I love Friendsgiving. - And Friendsgiving. - Because it's, like, an opportunity to celebrate your found family. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And very important. - The funny thing is, is you realize how much found family you have, 'cause you end up being like, oh, I have a Friendsgiving here, and then here. - Yeah. - And it's like, oh, I didn't even know I was that close with you guys. - Lovely. - But I guess I'll come, and bring something. - So this year, why not bring some Twisted T's to your party so all of your friends can enjoy it with you? Twisted T is a refreshing, hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It's the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day long. - It tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea, and it's super flavorful. It's not carbonated, which, that's why Brook loves it. It's easy to drink all day long. Maybe you and your friends wanna spice it up with a Friendsgiving party, ooh, or get together to watch some football. Twisted T is the perfect beverage, beverage, that is to accompany any plans. - No matter what your plans are for the next few weeks, Twisted T is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. Grab a refreshing Twisted T today and keep it twisted. Yeah. - Did you know, like the turkey leg at the fair? Did you know, like a lot of time, that's not even turkey, it's ham. - That's, there's no way. - I promise, and think about the turkey leg yet. Like, it wasn't white meat, it was like slimy. - Oh my God, I almost just had food poisoning in the mic. - Yeah, it's ham, a lot of times, which I-- - I don't think I like ham. - Well, like, no turkey has a leg that big. Like, did you ever think about how massive those turkey legs are like, that would be a dinosaur turkey. - No, there's like those big turkeys, yeah. - Like, their legs wouldn't be that beefy. That's like, that's like a small JV football player leg. A lot of those legs are like, very massive and have a lot of-- - I'm just gonna keep thinking it's a turkey leg. - Okay, we'll be-- - Grab the OM. - Next time you're eating, it'd be like, this is ham, just like think like, is it ham? Is this kid? - It's just gonna be turkey for me. - Okay. - Yeah. - It's very mental, it's a mental game, but when I found that out, I was like, oh my gosh. Yeah, I've been eating ham. All that that, me. Oh my gosh, completely forgot, I was gonna say. That's crazy, that it all happened in five seconds, I forgot. I do remember one thing. - Okay. - I met a young woman this weekend at a bar. - Really? - It was very loud and she kept going, grab my dog, guinea pig, grab my dog, guinea pig. And I was like, what? She shows me a picture? It's Frankie's new mom. - I got a text from her. - Yeah. - She's just so darling. - She was, I know was like not catching it and I was like, and it was so back. - I think it was one of Frankie's mom's friends. - Okay, she had a picture of Frankie. - Yeah. - You got to tell Frankie? - We're in Frankie has bunk beds now. - Oh. - He's so happy. - That's really great, that's good stuff. - She's, I was just thinking of some news that someone told me at my show in Grand Rapids, Michigan. And it was something that I wanted to report back to you here. And I think it had something to do with turkey. But now I don't. Hmm. I guess we'll never know. - One of you are something funny that happened to me at Disney yesterday. - Yeah. - I was walking and then some guy started screaming, "Oh, Brooklyn Connor, Brooklyn Connor." And I thought he was like referring to me as Brooklyn Connor, like I was one. And then I was like, "Hey." And then he was like, "Oh my God, Brooke." And I was like, "Wait, why are you so shocked?" You already knew I was here. Like you were calling me Brooklyn Connor before. But I realized Patrick was wearing B&C merch. - Oh, no way. - So he was screaming at Patrick like, "Oh my God." Like, I see the merch and I recognize. - That's so cool. - Which I was like, "That is so cool." And like for whatever reason that like struck me more than like actually like seeing me. - That's amazing. - So I love that. I really love that guy. With my whole heart. Yeah. - It's a sweetie came up. - I was darling. - Yeah. That's awesome. - Yeah. - Let us know if you've ever had that happen to you in the wild. - Yeah. Oh yeah, people wearing merch. - Yeah. - People wear it a lot to my shows, which is sweet. - Oh, that's sweet. - Yeah. A lot of people with the key chains. I love seeing little key chains. - Yes. - 'Cause that's like really personal. Keychains are personal. - Yeah. Oh my dad just sent me a key chain. It's really cute. - They're so personal that like your family thinks she's a key chain thinks about you. That's like always nice. - It's a puzzle piece and you can separate the puzzle pieces. So there's two. So he has one that says father of a princess and I have one that says daughter of a king. - And look at you now. - Yeah. - That sounds really like Christian. - Well, he got my sister one and I was like, "I want a key chain." And so I think this was maybe the first one that came up on Google. - Oh. - But I love. - Bible key chains. - I treasure it. - That's sweet, actually. There's nothing, like I truly think, you know, like people are like, my love language is gift giving. Those people that are like, I want a TV from you and like that will mean that you love me. No, the only time I believe gift receiving is a love language is when like, when I receive a small Trotsky from someone. - Small one. - Tchotchski. I'm like, that is special, right? 'Cause you have now projected your love for me onto a little meaningless little thing that I could fit in my mouth. - But what about when it means something? That's even better. - Like no Samsung 72 inch TV, like means anything to a person besides like big TV vibes. - Yeah. - But like a little, like when people find a rock and give it to me, I'm like, "Oh my God." - That's really sweet. ♪ I've been on your mind ♪ I wish I could hit that note. I've been listening to a lot of Adele. - I love Adele. - There is not a better person than Adele. Better celebrity than Adele. I really think she takes the cake for me as like one of the best celebrities for her, the level that she's at as an A-lister. The way she carries herself an axe. Like she also works, she works really hard. Like the Vegas thing I can't imagine doing it. Like show every night in Vegas. - Yeah. - But like the way she puts out an album once every 10 years admirable. - Yeah. - And every now and then she'll do car, carpool, karaoke, remind everyone who she is. - She's the perfect mix of like personality and like untouchable celebrity talent. - Speaking of something happened this weekend. - Yeah. - A few of our friends went to some sort of big event. - Yeah, I shot. - It was like a gala with like so many celebrities. And so it was like Tristan was there, our friend Frankie was there. And our friend Andrew Garfield was there too. And there were connections that were made. Tristan said to him, he was on the phone. And Tristan said-- - Tristan walked up to-- - Tristan walked up to you while he was on the phone. - Okay, good. - Which is like perfect and everything. And he said, you mean a lot to me and my friend Brooke. And then they hugged. - Oh, that's really funny. - Isn't that special? And then Frankie said that she loved his performance and we live in time. And he said, "That's thank you so much." Isn't that crazy? - Oh, that is awesome. Crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah. - That's good that-- - It's good that it's-- - To keep it short and sweet. - Keep it short and sweet. Keep it short and sweet. I love that they were able to establish some connections. - One degree of separation. - One degree. - That's crazy. - Yeah. - That looks really cool that thing. - Yeah. - I've never seen that ever happen before. And I've-- - I don't, I don't know exactly what it was. - How were seven of our friends able to-- - Because one of our friends works for Charlie and Troy. And they were performing. - I got seven plus months. - And they, I think they wanted like people to kind of amp up like the crowd during their performance. - Wow. - So, and Megan was the Apple girl during one of Charlie's LA shows. So she's like a hype team and everything considering. - Did you see, so the guy that pushed Brittany Roski out of the Apple dance video? - Yes. - He's like, he went from being like the most hated man on the internet. Now I'm saying they're like, wait, I like this guy. - Oh, I haven't seen people come back in that direction. - I've fully seen it 'cause he's like at these, this trivia at this random disgusting bar doing the Apple dance and everyone's like, oh. - No, someone pushed him out of the way during that, in that video. - There's a new video then 'cause I watched the whole thing and he like goes back and sits down. - Yeah, he does sit down, but someone like pushes him. - Maybe I didn't watch the whole video, I don't know. I feel like all of the tweets have been net positive. - Oh, I've only seen negativity for him. - Oh. - Oh. - Maybe it's the way we see the world. - No, I think it's just like, I've only seen negativity, genuinely. - Oh, I just like kind of chose to see positivity in that. - Okay. - But I guess we're different, me and you. But we're also at the same time, we're not so different. - Yeah. I can't stop saying me and who. - I know. - Like even when there's like two people walking out in the street that are completely unrelated, probably me and who? - I saw you put that in our notes for this episode and I was like, oh, she done writing, it was just me and who. - Oh. - Did she mean to put like contact? - No, I literally, I just like cannot stop saying it every time I see two people doing anything. - That's lovely. - Like two people sitting on a bench, me and who. - That's romanticizing your day-to-day life. - Two people walking on opposite sides of the street, me and who? - A young woman at the doctor's office, me and who? - And she's by herself? - No, she's with the doctor, sorry, that wasn't clear. - Okay. - So a young patient with a doctor, me and who? - I never told you guys when I went to the doctor, a couple weeks ago, well, two weeks ago, one week ago, I can't, I don't know anymore. I got fully naked 'cause they gave me a robe and then they were like, why are you naked? - Why would they give you a robe if that's not what they wanted? - They were like, you can leave your shirt on. - Oh. - And I was like-- - And your panty? - But you want my pants on there, like, no, because you can't wear shorts, but like, you're not wearing underwear and I was like, no. And so I was just like, fully windy the pooing and it is, I just have a walk and do the hallway, like ass out. Fully butt-shaked out down the hallway. - They wouldn't let you wear your shorts? What's the difference between shorts and underwear? - I said, aren't, isn't this massive x-ray machine the size of like a villain sort of canon laser launcher from a Marvel movie? It's not able to get through my corduroy shorts. - Oh, you didn't say you were in corduroy. I had pictured the mesh. - It's going full blown through my bones and flesh and it can't get through my-- - You penetrate the corduroy. - Like corduroy's? So I'm just fully being see out, like walking through the hallway barefoot shirt on for no reason, like-- - Did you put your shirt back on once they said-- - I was naked, she comes in. The most smug x-ray provider, like it wasn't a nurse, it wasn't a PA, like no communities come for me, I don't know what her job was, she ran the x-ray. Radiologist, get your hands off of my jugular, I do not know her profession or what it entails, I'm just saying she was a bitch. She came in and she was like, are you really naked? And I was like, what do you want me to do here? Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to thank you sponsor of today's episode Embark. Are you looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Let me stop you right there because if you've got a dog in your life or you're just obsessed with your bone pup, the Embark dog DNA test. I was gonna say earlier when I was talking about the dog in your life, if you have a dog lover in your life as well, let's throw them in there too. The Embark dog DNA test might be the most thoughtful gift that you can give, more than just another toy. It's something personal, it's fun and it's actually useful. I got Embark when they became a sponsor of this pod and that was all I had to do this for a long time 'cause people kept asking, what is Max? What is Max? And I was lying and I was getting caught in these lies at the dog park. And then I would switch it up the next time and then they were like, wait, I thought you said, you know, he was like a mollum-moosque or whatever, I would say, I would make up new words. Now I know, he's a large mix of German Shepherd, mini Australian Shepherd, Superman, of course, and Pitbull Terrier as well as Rob Weiler, too. Now I actually know what to tell people. I write it, I need to get that tattooed on my palm so I remember what to say, but it's those results that I got from Embark that made me sit down. - And you guys have heard us talk about Sticks, Max's relative we found through the relative finder feature. Embark even lets you discover if your dog has siblings, like Sticks or relatives nearby. I mean, who knows, your dog could have a cousin just down the street. Embark not only tells you the breed mix and dog's relatives, but also screens for genetic health risks giving you valuable insights to your dog's future. - This holiday season, give the gift of answers and wrap up the mystery of your dog's DNA. Get the dog DNA test that's got everyone barking. Head to EmbarkVet.com and use code B-A-N-D-C to save 65 bucks on Embark's breed and health test and get free shipping. Again, visit EmbarkVet.com and use code promo code B-N-C to save $65 on Embark's breed and health test today. - Did I tell you what the doctor came in and said to me, by the way? - No. - Did I not tell the story? - No, I don't know what, why did you get an X-ray? - Because of that, I was dying, I was like stomach. Did I not tell the story at all? - No. - Why haven't been back here? - Since Atlanta. - No, you haven't. - Oh my God, wow. I got to Atlanta and I landed super late again and I couldn't sleep the whole night and my shows were the next day, two shows that night and I woke up at 6 a.m. Or I didn't wake up, I was just like already wake. And I was like, I need to go to the ER. Like, this is so bad. So I go as soon as they open and I was like, I should walk 'cause I feel like it would be good to walk. Like a full mile, I'm sweating, my stomach's killing me. I just sit down and it's like a highway interstate. And then I go in and I'm having a coffee 'cause I'm like, I'm exhausted. And he's like, you need to not be drinking coffee like if your stomach is hurting. So I was killed over, like signing in. Obviously, it was the woman's first day on the job, the receptionist. And even though I had already pre-filled at all my documents going and she's like, that does not transfer over to us. And I was like, anyways, I had to refill out all myself which took 20 minutes and I'm 20 minutes late for this appointment. - Did she ask you why you were there? - I was like, my stomach hurts, my stomach hurts. And then I was like, I actually need to sit down over there. So then I'm in the waiting room being like, diarrhea to the front desk for my symptoms. Just so everybody knows. - I wish they would just like slip you a little piece of paper than you could write it on and slip it back. - It was just so loud. - Like a $1 bill, like even a five. - But I did fill it out already. So I was just kind of like, okay, that's annoying. Go back, they run urine tests, blood tests, X-ray, which was the X-ray. I was like, they'll figure something out through the X-ray. Doctor comes in and I'm there for four and a half hours too. This is the day of my shows. Like, I'm like, I need to go and like get ready, but I was in so much pain. And so they come back in with the X-rays and doctors are like, you seem stressed. And I was like, I really think I'm dying, right? I thought I had an ulcer, like that's how much pain I was in. And then I was like, what's going on? Like what's the thing? And he's like, you're a comedian? And I'm like, please tell me if I'm dying. Like he literally is like, and I love comedy. Like who's your favorite comedian? And I'm like, tell me what's wrong. He pulls up the X-ray and he goes, see all this pointing at my whole body, the whole part that was scary. And I was like, yeah, what part? He showed my stomach and he's like, that is all poop and farts. - I thought the problem was that you couldn't stop pooping and farting. - I told him, I was like, sorry guys, like listening. But no, it's like, I'm constantly PNFing. So I was like, I don't need any help there. He's like, I know, but this is just-- - So why is it building up like so? - So he was saying that like, I could have definitely gotten food poisoning from that halal that I had, that street halal. And he's like, because that's meat that sits out for 12 hours a day. So you really need to stop eating that. And I was like-- - But wasn't that so long ago? - It was, so by the time I got X-rayed and stuff, it was a week prior, which it's pretty common. I think to have like, you like get through it after like seven days, like that's the talent. Not for me, not for a guy like me. But I got on antibiotics and things-- - For food poisoning? - Yeah, well, they said that it could be like an infection from the food poisoning. - Oh. - And are you better now? - Oh, God no. - You're still PNFing or it's different? - We don't have to get into all that, but yeah, I'm not in like a great state of mind. - Oh my God, Connor, I'm sorry. Maybe you should get a second opinion. - I'm going to the gastroenterologist. - That's good. - So looking forward to reporting back on my medical experience. Luckily, I leave for New York City tomorrow and like fully have a full week of work. - You might just be, you might have like an ulcer from stress, genuinely. - The doctor was like, you seem stressed. And I was like, I'm pretty stressed, but it's crazy that like my health fear, my health anxiety causes, I think a lot of the things that I'm feeling sick about, like lack of sleep is contributing to all this, like stomach ache probably contributing like, and it's about because I feel like I'm like, there's no, there's no tumor or ulcer in my poop, like in my poop and farts. Is there all those bumps right there? - You very well could just have anxiety because that's what happens with a metaphobia, which is like, you're so scared you're going to throw up that you actually start to feel nauseous. And it just like, is the cycle over and over and over again? And that happens with so much health anxiety and that genuinely could be what's happening to you. - I think so. Luckily, I won't be able to deal with it until after my show's in New York City this weekend. It's Thursday right now, my shows will be tomorrow to everybody listening. - Oh, okay. Yeah, I was like, damn, Thursday already. - I know, that's scary. - Yeah. - This one I really, I know you're always saying, like comedians do the same show. This one I'm like, I want to write new show, new stuff. And I do like a lot more crowd work now. So it's been really fun. So I think that I will have like a relatively newer set. I do feel for all the people that are going to be seeing the show for the third time because people do keep going to the same show. But- - I do that with comedians that I love. I've seen that John Mulaney do the same set like 18 times. - My friends that have come to several shows are like, that was so much better. So I kind of like when my friends comes, 'cause they're like, that show, like I've seen the jokes but like you've developed them and that's where like, that was so much better. So I am thinking I'm going to stay, I'm going to see how much I can prep this week. And then if not, like I always have my long plenty of long time to go. I have Grace O'Malley's doing the shows with me, Maggie Winters and Jake Cornell. Who's it going to be a new person for me? - Love. - Yeah, it's going to be really, really fun. - Oh, I'm excited for you. - One thing I'm nervous about going out to NYC is I'm going out to NYC on election day. So by the time this comes out, like we'll have a new president of the United States. - Talk about semi-cake. - So yeah, let's manifest the right outcome. - Of course. I'm nervous, like with, I'm not getting into anything. I'm nervous 'cause I'll be flying into New York City, like when the decision is made and I'm scared. - And either way there's going to be it. Okay, awesome probably. - Like Vladimir Putin's going to just like turn off all of, I don't know, like I feel like it's like, I don't want to manifest anything like this. Like hopefully it'll just be like awesome and celebratory and I'll just pretty much get there and go to bed. - Which would be great, but I'm really scared that I'm going to land in like the city. - Like Gotham? Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, well let's, we don't have to worry about it 'cause it's all going to end up hurting. - It's all going to end up hurting. - I'm not going to be able to watch 'cause I'll be in a flight. - Oh, that's good. I never mind, I'm not going to say even it. One thing negatively in this space that could influence the outcome of the election. - I'm going to watch, no, I'm going to watch, genuinely I'm going to watch Lilo and Stitch and just be like, I'm watching Lilo and Stitch. - Yeah, you could always think that when you're watching Lilo and Stitch. - Do you think that they're going to put it on the plane? Like, like they do with football games and like that's Super Bowl? - I think only some planes have like live TV, but if there's live TV, there's live TV on the plane. - I'm scared to be on a plane. - I'm bummed that I am registered in California now 'cause my vote used to matter in Pennsylvania. - Yeah, that is kind of crazy. - Yeah. - I know, I saw a lot of people flying to their home states to like get their voice heard, which... - I didn't have an option, like 'cause I got a California license and so they register you here regardless. - I'm going to have to get a new question. - Why are all of the prompts on the ballot and riddles? I am very scared that I did something wrong for one of the props. - It's confusing. I also think-- - Make it accessible. - Yeah. - Make it accessible. - I thought, I always think about like all of the local votes, like when you go in and they're like, "Here's all this stuff." Do people just skip that? Like, if you're not informed? - I think something will do. - Yeah. 'Cause there was some stuff for Venice. - But there's like a lot of good guides online, which I realized that once I couldn't crack most of the riddles. - Yeah. - Yeah. So... - Amazing. - Yeah, it's amazing. - When's the last time you built a sand castle? - Probably like a minute. I like digging holes more. - What? - I'm more of a hole girl. - Well, I never really would have pegged you as a hole girl. - Really? - Yeah, I kind of, I also don't picture you as a sand castle girl because I feel like you'd be like, "I'm not doing all that." - That is how, oh, I love a good drip castle. - Those are fun. Yeah, I do see you as a drip castle girl. - Yeah, but I used, like when I was a kid, I was mostly eating the sand and looking for creatures. - Oh my God, I hate the kids that collect like live crabs and they put them in a bucket. I'm like, they're dying in there. - Yeah, they were dying. - Yeah, and like every 10 feet, there's a pile of crab carcasses from like a kid who had them in his pail for eight hours at the beach. - Well, you know, some kids might put a lot of sand in their bucket for the crabs, so... - They can live for an hour or so. Well, the kids look at them. There was one time, this is a regret of mine that I lose sleep over. It was really, really low tide one year, one summer, and the tide had gone so far out that there was sand dollars everywhere. - Are those the jellyfish? - No, they're like rocks. - Oh. - But the sand dollars were everywhere and I collected like genuinely 50 sand dollars and I took them home. - Are they the slimy things? Oh no. - It's like stones. - Oh, okay. - But I've never seen that. - You've never seen a sand dollar? - No, I'm from the East Coast. (laughing) - Invalley argument. I'm from the East Coast. We only have bagels. No. - No, I'm saying we only have these slimy circles is what I'm saying. - That's a jellyfish, yeah. - But it's not active. - They swim. - It's a dead, slimy circle. - I don't think it's dead. I know what you're talking about, but they just like, they're alive at this flow. - They don't sting or anything. Some jellyfish are truly just like jelly. - Yeah, this was jelly. - I got some by jellyfish when I was in Miami. - Was it really bad? - But hang on, I wanna tell this story about the sand dollars. So I collect 50 sand dollars, I'm not kidding. I brought them all home and I was like, this is amazing. - You're the one who brought up Miami. - I wanna finish my sand dollar story, bro. - I'm just saying you started talking about something and then yelled at me. - For someone that has absolutely no experience or knowledge of sand dollars, you really are like not open to learning. - No, I'm dying to hear about it. I just wanna say you started going, I got stung by a jellyfish in Miami, started going on that and it goes, and then you go, I wanna finish my story about sand dollars. Yelling at me. - Well, because you got me to the jellyfish chat. - I didn't make you do anything. - You're gaslighting me, jellyfish style. - Connor, please, I wanna hear about the sand dollars. - Okay, stop begging. So there was. - I'm gonna look on you. (laughs) Desperation doesn't look good on you, Glinda, whoa. So I collect like 50 sand dollars and I take them home and I like look up like how to preserve sand dollars and I wanna put these all around in the yard and then they start to stink. And then I realized sand dollars are alive and I absolutely laid them out in the sun and killed them all. - They're alive? - They're living creatures. Can we look up? Look at that's looking to sand dollars a little bit. Like what the hell are sand dollars? - Dude, where is Google AI when you need it? Sand dollars like he's gonna answer the same way I am, rocks. Okay, sand dollar living, moving in the sand. I see it like a little bit moved. It's like kind of like a sea creature. - It genuinely looks like the slime balls that I used to collect. - Can we show them to people who have not maybe seen a sand dollar? - I've never seen, can you Google are their sand dollars or where are their sand dollars? - Sand dollars native home, sand dollars roots. - Go ahead and read that for us. - Okay, sand dollars are found in Tropic, all and temperate waters all over the world including the Pacific, Atlantic, and Caribbean Ocean. So just about everywhere you've ever been to a beach would have sand dollars. - Can you Google are their sand dollars at the Jersey shore? - No, there's just hot dogs. Yeah, sand dollars are common at the Jersey shore beaches. - Ever, ever seen one. - Wow, maybe you just weren't looking. I was always hunting. Hey guys, we're gonna take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Seed. So many people experience difficulty in the bathroom. They either can't get on a regular schedule or they're bloated and uncomfortable when they need to use the toilet. - And sometimes they're feeling targeted by this, this messaging directly. - They might even. Luckily, Seed isn't afraid to talk about it. - We aren't either. DSO1 is formulated with 24 clinically and scientifically studied strains to support whole body benefits, including gut health, skin health, heart health, immune health, gut barrier, integrity, gut microbial balance, and micronutrient synthesis in just two capsules a day. DSO1 is formulated with strains clinically validated to reduce abdominal bloating and intermittent constipation after two weeks. 81% of members feel less sluggish after meals, after starting DSO1, which is all you can ask for around the holidays. I need that. - Give yourself the gift of benefits in and beyond your gut by taking a probiotic plus prebiotic that's easy and effortless to incorporate into your routine. Just two capsules a day, no refrigeration required. - I love when they sponsor because it reminds me, like I need to get back on my seed scheduling, my seeding schedule. - I love DSO1 because it's so easy to take. I do it in the morning with the rest of my routine in my pills and I'm set for the day. I feel lighter and have more energy in the day, which is amazing. And I'm able to go to the bathroom regularly, which is probably my favorite part about taking DSO1. - True. Get ahead of the new year now with a routine that helps you by going to seed.com/BNC and use code 25BNC to get 25% off your first month. That's 25% off your first month of seeds DSO1 daily symbiotic at seed.com/BNC code 25BNC. - That's crazy. - I was a collector. - You and me both. - Yeah. - Oh, I wish we could play together and remember a little and collect. - Oh my gosh. My parents, if you literally call my dad right now and be like, what was I like as a kid? They'd be like, your pants were always falling to your knees because your pockets are full of rocks. We would have to empty them when I would get in the car from school 'cause they're like, we're not bringing any more pebbles home. I would literally go to like the sidewalk that was paved in pebbles and be like, scoop, pocket, scoop, pocket, I am a gatherer. - You should have gone into geology. - I could have. - And I would have done marine biology. - A geologist and a marine biologist walk into a bar. - What do they say? - Can we get two tequila sodas, please? We got work to do. What would your name be if you were a marine biologist? - Maybe Brooke. - Oh yeah. (laughs) - I forgot this isn't a fantasy. I was gonna see mine would be like arch or something. - Maybe honestly like Miriam. - Arch and Miriam. - A little bit more serious? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Arch and Miriam walk into a bar. - Yeah. - And they order. - They're doing vodka sodas though. - Yeah, oh my god, they are. They totally are. - They're rational. - I'm getting a mudslide actually. - I almost might even do a whiskey. - Oh my god. - Or bourbon. - I'm sick. - Miriam is obsessed with bourbon. - Arch has a fun side and he's gonna have a mudslide 'cause he doesn't have some. - What's a mudslide? - That's just like a milky frothy chocolatey vodka drink. - Arch would not do a mudslide. - He would 'cause he doesn't have-- - He likes to let loose like that? - He doesn't have IBS, so he can have a mudslide. It's a fantasy, brook. - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take you down. - In my fantasy, me arch is having a mudslide and then laying flat down and not worrying that he might be the bee. - Has Arch ever peed the bee? - No, never. - He wouldn't. - He wouldn't. - Oh my gosh, he doesn't love dog. - Is this mudslide almost non-alcoholic? - No, it has a lot because he said it a long day. He's discovered a rock. - Yeah. - Totally. - He discovered a new kind of rock, too. - Would you be interested in digging for fossils? - Yeah, I would love that. I've already said that on this show, I promise you. - Well, sorry, I'm not arguing. - I thought I found fossils all the time. It was like dead, no, it was like dead rat bones 'cause we had so many owls where I lived and so the owls would eat the mice, I guess, like field mice and then just poop their bones out and I'd be like, I found a fossil. - Did you ever dissect an owl pellet? - Yeah. - How fun, we should do that. - Really fun, I don't need to anymore 'cause I go. - Also, where was my science teacher getting all those owl pellet? - You can buy them in bulk. - From where? - Amazon. - Are they just sitting in a warehouse? - Someone is making a damn fortune being like, yeah, my owl is shitting so much and I'm just selling these to eighth graders. - Oh, they're shit? I always thought they would throw them up. - Oh my God. - Large owl. - Like a hairball, I was singing hairball. - Large owl pellet bucket set of 50. You said you're a collector. - I'll just do the set of 50. - Oh my gosh. So can we, I just really quickly need to confirm or deny which hole these are coming out of. - How do owls, let's Google, how do owls produce owl pellets? - Yeah, brook, let's arch and murium this shit out of this and premature. - Let's, brook and connor would have Googled, do owl, owls, puke their pellets, but arch and murium, how are they produced? - Do ellip shit vomit combo, come out of their jugs or their butt, but owls have butts, ugh, whoa, but not butt cheeks. Oh my God, they might have butt cheeks. Can we type in naked owl? - Wait, what is that say? - Oh yeah, owls produce owl pellets by regurgitating. - Takes some regurgitation. - Okay, cool, yeah, that actually makes a ton of sense. - The regurgitation process. Yeah, naked owl, if you don't mind. - Just, yeah, featherless owl, maybe because-- (gasps) - Oh, that sucks to see. - But I don't, that doesn't answer your question about the cheeks. - Owl ass. No. - Do you think we'll get flagged for googling naked owl rear? - Rear end of a owl. - Rear end of a owl. - No, let's try. No, see, I think that they're probably protecting us. It might be a visual, if we see, we won't ever be able to unsee. Did they decide yet if we can put Q-tips in our ears? That always gonna be this like dark, twisted, guilty pleasure. - You totally can, just not in the hole. Q-tips are meant for cleaning out the surface area. - You're not putting them in your hole? - I am, but you're not supposed to. - Oh my gosh. Like, figure it out. - They have, they're very clear about it. - No, I'm saying make a Q-tip that we can put in our hole. - They have. The ones that are skinny at the bottom, and then they get big like a cotton ball, so they can't go in the hole. - It's kind of funny that we just-- - Assuming your ear holes are tight. - Hard to say. I haven't gotten a second opinion. - I have small little ear holes. - Do you? - Yeah, I do. - Some earphones don't fit. - Oh damn. - Oh my gosh, I-- - Rob, people might not know that. - No idea, Brooklyn. - Yeah, a lot of you. - There's gonna be some freaks that jerk off that you're saying that by the way. - Ew, Connor. - I'm just telling you, like, that's how the internet works. - There wasn't, like, no reason for that to come out of your mouth. - No, like, there's freaks online, Brooke. - No, I do know that. At the end of the day. - And, like, out of context, what you said is not-- - Okay, I won't talk about my ear holes again. - Well, we've brought up several types of holes today. You said you're more of a whole girl. (laughing) - Wait, why did I say that? - I said, girl-- - What was the context for me saying? - Girls are broken into two categories, sand, castle girl, and whole girl. - Yeah, I am. - I'm more of a castle girl myself. - Did you like when people buried you in a hole? - Yeah, I didn't get offered to be buried that often. I don't know if that says that. - Yeah, I guess I didn't either, but I wouldn't. - You wouldn't be buried. - I think I would feel like two claustrophobic. - I feel like I would love that. Not deeply buried, but just kind of lightly buried. - Or, like, I would be scared that, like, a creature would get at me from the bottom. - Sand fleas? - Yeah, or worse. - Worms. - Yeah, something worse. - Max lets me bury him. - Almost like a shark, too. - Not fully, but, like, yeah, he lets me, like, cover his body. - Oh, my God, speaking of Max, I met Mimi this weekend. - Oh, yeah, my Mimi. - Just as perfect as I was expecting. - That was super sweet. It was so weird, 'cause I figured, like, she was coming up to, did she come up to you? - Yes. - Yeah, that was cute. - What an honor. - That was super cute. - Yeah, I love that girl. - She's so funny. She was having so much fun at the baby shower. - Can you say that now? - Yeah, cousin Logan is pregnant. I posted it, so I hope. Cousin Logan's pregnant, and she's like seven months pregnant. - Yeah, she's doing January. - And she might be early due. That's what the doctor was saying. I don't know if you can share that information. - Yeah, early due, early due. - Wow. That's crazy, I probably won't see her again until she has the baby. - I was thinking the same thing 'cause I'm gonna be on tour and then maybe Christmas, I guess. - Yeah. - But if she goes early due mode, then I won't have seen her. - That's always such a weird relationship. The cousin and the cousin's kid, 'cause it's like, what do you call your cousin uncle? - I'll be uncle for all these kids, for sure. - Right, that makes sense to me, but technically you're not, which never makes sense. Like my mom's cousins, like being my cousin too, never made sense to me, like just be my uncle. - Yeah. - You know? - Well, 'cause they're just not related. - Well, 'cause they're just like not my age. They're more of an uncle age. - You know what's funny is I didn't grow up with anyone that was like so close to my parents that they called him my aunt or my uncle. - Really? - Yeah, isn't that weird? - Oh my God, everyone was anor uncle. - I yearn for an honorary anor uncle. Like I yearn for that. - No, Connor, I would be like 11. And my dad would be like, here's uncle Phil, and I've never met uncle Phil, so how was he uncle? (laughs) - Like, is this your brother? - No, I mean, like I did know it wasn't his brother, but like he was doing uncle to like way everyone was uncle. Instead of like Mr. or Mrs. almost. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I did have a lot of-- - A lot of people call me uncle fibs, which is so funny. - Yeah. - And sometimes I'm like, oh. We're not that close. But I'll be your kids uncle, uncle fibs. - People without kids are calling you uncle fibs? - No. - Oh. - I thought you might just like people in bar or something. - No, no, no adult people come up to me and say you're my uncle. (laughs) - Okay. - We're so close that you're my uncle. - Yeah. Well, uncle fibs like, it's like uncle cracker, the musician. - Maybe when I get older and there's a, maybe I'll have a younger fan base and they'll call me, that's a really scary thought to be older than a group of people who could be like a younger and like appropriately listening to like this podcast, maybe like maybe my stand up and stuff and be like, oh, we think of you as our elders. - Yeah, an elder comedian icon. - Like someone I look up to, you know. - Right. Oh, I like obviously, I'm gonna say I hate this. I obviously don't hate it. It's so sweet. - 'Cause aging is a blessing. People are like, no, I look up to you so much. Like, just look at me. I don't, don't look up. - Hit me at eye level. - Just look at me right at eye level. I don't need a reminder that I'm older than so many people. But thank you, that's so sweet. - It's so sweet, but shut the hell up and just get on. - Exactly. - Yeah. - Exactly, but. - Lift yourself up by your bootstraps. - Dust yourself off. - And look me in my eyes. - Yeah, okay guys. We're gonna take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode, Better Help. I wanna take a moment to thank my cat, Jonathan, for giving me a reason to get out of bed in the morning and purpose in my life. - Yeah. - And this month is all about gratitude. And along with the animal that I just shouted out, there's another person that we don't get to think enough, who's also, people are animals too, when you think about it, ourselves. - Oh my God. - Yeah, we don't think ourselves enough. It's sometimes hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything. And in this crazy world, that isn't easy. Here's a reminder to send some thanks to the people in your life, including yourself. - I love therapy because it's a safe space to talk about someone. (laughing) - Both. - To talk about and to someone. To talk about someone with someone else. It's a safe space, you know, it's like vaulted, secure shut, lock and key. And it's a really important time right now for me to be talking. I feel like it's a transformation. We're going into winter. There's a lot of things you don't want to bottle up because we're going to bed at five, you know, so you need to talk to people. Everything you're starting therapy get better help a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched for the licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. - Let the gratitude flow with better help. Visit betterhelp.com/being-to-see-today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelphlp.com/being-to-see. - That's something people have been saying to me recently. - Look me in the eyes. - No, they've not said look me in the eyes. They, my least favorite thing to people comment. And like, at first I was like, that's funny. I can take it, but I've obviously, it's the end of a quarter and for influencers, but you definitely have noticed. You start, companies and brands start working heavily with people and like you start getting some in-bounds and it's the end of the year. And I, so I've been posting a couple ads here and there and people have been commenting, ooh, rent must be due. And I'm like, it's the first of the month of court. It's due for you too. - Right. - Imagine if I was outside of the ER before I was going in for my x-ray and the radiologist walks up for her shift at the urgent care and I said, oh, rent must be due, you know, like. - Right, but yeah, right, you have to work, yeah. - People have to work so they can pay their rent. - Yeah. - Me outside of a classroom teacher walking in, oh, rent must be due to each, get in. - Yeah, that's a really good point. That's a really good point. - Oh, it's just such a great thing. - You just start responding to those comments. - I did, I said, they said rent must be due and I said, yeah, it's October 30th, it's due in two days. You should probably pay yours too. - Yeah. - So I was, I've been with my parents so much recently. Have you noticed that? - No, I don't think so. - Doesn't Texas and then I did my shows in Atlanta and then I went straight to Boston. - Oh, okay. - And my dad can't get off Instagram reels. - Why, why should he be expected to? - No, it's fine. - Yeah, 'cause right, yeah. - But he will be laughing in the other room and I'm like, what's going on? And it's like fully like an AI generated video, which is so many, but he came into the room and I wanna ask you another question about this room. Do you have a room in your house? Hang on. I'm sitting in the room in our house that like is not a usable room. It's like a fake room. I don't know how to explain it. And then he goes, I need to go, oh my gosh, Connor. Wow, look at this. - What do you mean, it's a fake room? - I'll tell you in a second. He goes, oh my gosh, Connor. Wow, like look at this. Puppy the size of three large men and they're holding it with chains. I go, what's your, what's your, what's your, are you in awe of this? And he's like, I don't even know. I could tell he was like, look, they're making new dogs. I could tell he was thinking that, like in his other-- - But didn't wanna say it out. - And I fully was like, wait, I need to know if you're being-- - He was testing the waters. - I think he was being like-- - Is it being a stow in? - Is this real, cutest, but like it was literally Clifford the Big Red Dog. - Yeah. - I was like, do you think this is real? He's like, oh, I mean, I don't know. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It is a giant, I'll put the visual and you have to see this absolutely massive puppy that they're holding down with chains that they would hold an elephant with. - It's getting really hard to differentiate what's real and what's not. - It really, really is. 'Cause it's going back to that, like I'm scared my pants are gonna get scanned by that. Jennifer Aniston, hi, I'm Jennifer Aniston from The Show Friend, and I'm giving away a thousand MacBook Pro. (laughing) - I miss her. - Me too. - She's one of my favorites. It's also getting, I mean, as you were talking today, when we were coming in about like all of these class actions, like the dual class action lawsuit, how everyone's like, wow, any time these pop up, coming up in the future, like I am going to sign up for every single one. And now, is these getting ads for like these fake class action lawsuits where you type in all your information? And like they're gonna get my ass for sure. 'Cause I'm gonna try to get in. - I bet there's gonna be a huge Mozambic one in a few years. - Yeah, I don't wanna say that 'cause I have space, but it's scary, any drug that is new. I also have been getting from all sides of the political spectrum, texts from people being like, help me! Donate $5 to my campaign. And I'm like, who are you? I don't even know, I've never seen your name. What happened that, I got six spam calls. I think political spam calls today. Is that gonna stop when the election happens or no? It'll stop. Or are they gonna be like, hey, it's me, Kamala Harris. I'm having breakfast, what are you doing? Can I have a dollar? - I don't get it because I made it out completely unscathed, like didn't get one spam caller text. And then I voted like three days ago. And ever since I voted, I've been being swarmed with text. So I'm like, how does, what? How did this just start once I already voted? - I don't know. - The second I voted, I started getting it. - I heard there was something with like a new bill that was passed that like re-allowed everybody's numbers have been put back into the calling system. So you do have to actually go in to donotcalllist.com or something and like plug in your information. Obviously very easy thing to do. Obviously something that I can't get myself to do. - Goes without saying. - I do kind of like the attention. Like when my phone's sorry, I'm getting a call and it actually says spam risk. I'll take it later. - Yeah, I don't really love it. - I do, like my phone would kind of be dry if I didn't get those calls all day. - Oh, my bone dry. - Bone dry? But I'd almost rather be bone dry than all those. - All the fake outs. Well, my notifications I get all day from start to finish, sexual offender two blocks away from you. And I get like eight of those a day. And then there's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. There's someone at your ring. And so obviously like my neighbor's walking by. So I need to figure out how to turn that down and then like, hey, please vote for me. - Right. - I keep getting, I also, because I travel so much, like I'm now signed up for like Alfredo, Georgia, Reddit. Hey, what's this, what's this new stop sign? I'm like, 'cause it's like picking up on my geography. So what do you want to talk about? - I want to talk about Martha Stewart. - I watched it last night. - I didn't watch anything. But I just want to talk about, did you see what she said about Ryan Reynolds? - What'd she say? - She was like, I know him in real life and like, he's not funny, like he's just serious. - When did she say that? - Like recently, they're neighbors or something and she was like, yeah, like everyone thinks he's funny. He's a very serious guy, he's not funny at all. - Does she like him? - It would appear no. But then he responded to her. This was on Twitter, he responded to her and I don't understand his response at all. Everyone's like, Ryan Reynolds claps back and I'm like, I don't get what he's saying. He's saying, well, Martha said, he's not so, sorry Izzy, can you make it a little bigger? He's not so funny in real life, no, he's not so funny. He's very serious, he's a good actor. He can act funny, but he isn't funny. - I love that. - Ryan Reynolds says, I disagree with her, but I tried that once. The woman is unexpectedly spry. She really closed the gap after a mile or so. So is he saying she chased him? - No, yeah, he's saying I disagree with her, but I tried that once. - And then she chased him? - Yeah. - It's not funny. - I actually feel like I learn a lot from Ryan Reynolds because it's like, okay, not everything needs to be like a little bit, you know? Every single thing. And I used to think it was so funny like for their birthday, him and Blake Lively for their birthday, it's like, happy birthday to this one. And then it's like only pictures of him. And I was like, that's funny, but it's funny once. - Right. - You know? Every year really, it's like, it's like when people used to post that screenshot of like, this is the best feature Apple has ever come out with. And it's like when the password auto-populates on a website that you've gone, or like when you get texted a code and it, it's like, yeah, we've seen that. And we agree with you, but I've seen this 18 times. And now I hate you, you know? - Yeah, I got it. I got it. - And I have felt it. - I mean, I genuinely think he probably took seven hours to like come up with that. - I bet he's like this. (laughs) - Yeah. - Send. - Oh, do you think he typed it or do you think he has a team? - No, I definitely don't-- - He definitely doesn't have that. - He definitely doesn't have that. - I think he did this one. - And he gensy people on his social media team. - I think this was all him, I think. I would love to know what happened to prompt Martha to pop off like that. - Did you, so you haven't seen her document? - No, tell me about it. - You gotta watch that. - Wait, why was she arrested again? Was she embezzling? - Insider trading. - Okay. - There's a lot of nuances to insider trading. I wouldn't say that I don't, I would never ever make the claim that like I don't think she insider traded. I think she didn't. I think a lot of billionaires do. I think that is like really something that happens and I've always just been like, yeah, of course that happens. Politicians, billionaires, all these people, like they obviously are friends with other people that are like, I know this information. And those people that know that information can just like drop it at dinner. And then the billionaires can be like, hey, let's like get rid of the sock 'cause I really got a vibe from XYZ supper that this is not gonna be good next week. And that's what she says happened. That she like got this information, like they had never talked. - 'Cause it's in the doc? - Yeah. So like watch it and like see, this is like the first time I've heard it explained. She was only in jail for 150 days. - How long was she supposed to be? - Like that was her sentence. - Oh. - So obviously that would be horrible and the amount of time in jail is on a match. - Wasn't she in one of those like bougie ones though? - They called it something like cupcake palace or something like it was like really, but they put her in solitary confinement for a time 'cause she like brushed up against the guard at some point. She was like, I was scared. They can't provide you with any protection, but then she was also like, yeah. And then I brought all my books and I met this woman in the garden and I helped her like make the garden and then I would have little cucumber sandwiches for everyone over to my cell. And I was like, oh, that sounds like just like a neighborhood maybe. And it sounds like you were just like hanging out with friends. - Already almost. - But I don't totally get it. And it was 150 days. It was almost kind of like going to rehab. But her story is really interesting. I had no idea. - Oh, I didn't, I didn't either. What else is it about? - I don't want to give too much away because it was actually really interesting to watch, but I did end the show feeling really bad from Arthur Stewart. - Oh, bad for her. - Yeah. - Are you like a big Martha fan now? - I didn't know anything about the woman. - I don't even, I don't know anything about her. - It was interesting to me. - I just can't believe she's in her 80s. - I'm not going to be able to provide any insight. Like the stuff I've had interesting is like the stuff that the information they gave you and like the details. And I'm not even going to say that part. But it was interesting like how much, how like pivotal a lot of the things that happened to her like the Roast of Justin Bieber, which I was like, oh yeah, she did that. And like her, like that was her side of friendship with Snoop Dogg. And Snoop Dogg and her, their friendship brought her back into the zeitgeist and like remade her like a huge, huge, successful brand again. - Really? - Isn't that bizarre? - Yeah. - It was really scary to me to see like, basically when she went to jail because her whole brand was based around her name and her, she was the CEO of the company. And it was like a billion dollar company, which I had no idea. When she went to jail, it like lost all credibility. They're like, she's in jail. Someone else was running this company. It's called Martha Inc, you know. - Right. - And so she lost a billion, like a literally billion dollars, which is crazy. And then started doing brand deal after brand deal after brand deals. Everywhere. And it was like decreasing the value of her company more 'cause she's like, and she was like the original influencer. - Damn. - Yeah, she did it. Partnership with Kmart. - Okay, I'll have to watch. - It was really interesting. It made me, it did make me sad. And it honestly like, the end of it is like, I didn't get any closure from this. I can't imagine how she feels. She just seems like really lonely. Which makes me. - Oh, I saw her say something that's like, I've never been vulnerable with anyone in my life. And I'm fine with it. Or something along those lines, she said. - She like a really bigoted abusive father, so. - That's sad. - Yeah. - Damn. - And her husband, her husband's were all like really unfaithful, like just like cheating on her the whole time. - Oh my God, didn't you know that about Martha? - I know. And it's always just sad to like look, like when older people look back on their life and they're like, oh, like as being a billionaire too and being like, oh yeah, like it wasn't fulfilling. - Do you wanna hear something that's a little bit uplifting? - I was gonna suggest maybe we switch gears. - I saw this tweet that was like, I was sitting by my grandmother's bedside as she died. And the last thing she said was, I had so much fun. Did you just get goosebumps? - Yeah. - Me too. - Period, I had so much fun. - I had so much fun and seen. - And seen. - You know what's so scary, Brooke? - What? - First of all, well said, like sometimes less is more and that I had so much fun. Those five words hold so much value and wait for me personally 'cause I was carving pumpkins last week and I was sitting there and I was like, my dumb stupid pumpkin with this big smile on its face, just having the time of its life being present in the moment, I was like, oh wow, like that pumpkin just reminded me like the point is to be present and enjoy it and have fun. - Right, like it's not that nothing's that serious. - Do you ever think about that? - Like do you think, live your life so that you will be that woman on your deathbed? - I had so much fun. - And that's what you can say. - Period? - On God. I would literally say on God in response to her. - I would say checkmate. Wait, no, not to her. I wouldn't say checkmate to her. - I would say on God to her. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I always think about the fact that like one of my Instagram posts is gonna be the last Instagram post. Like I hope it's not like maybe like I'm hungry, you know, like I'm hungry, craving, craving Thai food, period. Like imagine if those were my last journal entry. - Well, you've never posted anything like that before. - Sometimes I kind of just like-- - One, two, like Jake Shane, just like in feed, I'm starving. - All the time I wanna do that. - I know. - But then I take a picture of my face and I'm like, that ain't right. That doesn't look great. Take picture of my face, that ain't right. And then I take so many pictures. I'm like, I hate Instagram and then I close it out and I'm like, I shouldn't have done that anyways. Like every time I'm tired or like my stomach hurts, I always wanna tell people. But then it's like, if I did that, like, that would be the account. That would be it. So you have to hold back. - I'm tired. - Like people should know. - I'm tired, so I'm tired, so I'm tired, so I'm tired, so I'm tired, so I'm hungry. - People have the right to know. - I think that's what Instagram stories are for. But also Jake's account is just like really special. - Yeah. - I struggle between like, fuck it. And like, I want curation, which is so disgusting and I shouldn't have said that. - Just try and have fun. - Brooke, that is such a, I had so much fun, period. With my green hands. - Yeah. - Yeah, that's my pussy's green. I do wanna say, daylight savings. We're back here again. The clock's set back. Wait, forward, back, back an hour. Back an hour, we get an extra hour. - Yeah, and why? We're back here again. Last night I was like, whoa, I'm having lunch. And I guess it's also dinner. And the way my body operates, it's like, this is no wonder like I start to gain weight, like an animal going into hibernation when this time change happens, because my body still operates like a cock or spaniel. Like I see the sun go down and I go, oh, dinner. But I'm up for another five hours, so I have to have dinner, too. - Completely. - So it's like now I'm eating two dinners, but I'm still operating under the circadian rhythm of like, sun's up, breakfast time. You know, lunch, lunch, too. - I mean, you just have to switch it up and go by time. - Like, I don't want to operate. - And instead of having dinner one, make that afternoon snack. - Smaller scale meal. - Yes, smaller. Or you could truly just do what most, what a lot of people do in just free feed, which is like grazing all day, not necessarily three meals a day. - Free feed, huh? - Yeah, that's what Jonathan does. - Your cat or the man? - It's like, when he's hungry, my cat, oh my God, I have to ask you something. - Yeah. - I'm going to the Wicked Premier. - Yeah, I was supposed to go on Saturday. - I was supposed to be in the music video. - You were supposed to be in the video? - Yeah. - I'm going to the Wicked Premier on Saturday. I obviously don't think I'm gonna get any, I don't expect any FaceTime with anyone, but if I do get FaceTime with Jonathan Bailey, - Yeah? - Should I tell him I named my cat after him, or is that weird? And keep in mind, he's the greatest guy in the world. - I think like a great sense of humor, great personality, no one has ever had a bad word to say about. - Personal decision for you, obviously, but like, if someone came out to you at Disney and said, "Brock, I named my cat, Brock," like where would your head go? I think that's a good litmus test. - Yeah. - Is that someone you would want to see more than one answer? - That's a good question. I also think it's different 'cause he's so famous, so it makes sense more to have a cat named after him than a cat named after me. - I don't think so. - I do. - Okay, well-- - I should not tell him. - I think you have your answer. No, tell him you want to. - What should I say then? If not, I named my cat after you. - What else is there to say? - You show me my podcast. - No, Connor. - It's worked so far, a couple of times. Coming up. - What? - Coming up. We have a surprise guest coming up in the next couple of weeks. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Yes, I wish I were doing a bit, and then I remembered that it's true. It is true, and-- - Potentially more than one, too, because of the developments over Halloween night, which shouldn't have happened while I was on my third spiked apple cider. - What happened? - I told you a screenshot. - No, you didn't. - Of someone, an individual who got back to me. - Oh, no, I don't. Yeah, okay, so. - Obviously it's not gonna happen right now, but that will be interesting. - Yeah, watch the space out. - Okay, well, I think that we leave you. It's such a weird kind of anti-climatic ending to this show today. I feel like maybe there's more to be said in the bonus. - We could always do that. - Yeah, but thank you guys so much for listening. It's so nice to be here with prosthetics on my nose and my chin. I feel like I'm at home. - And this is my first time ever getting glam and wearing fake lashes. - Your lashes look great. I actually, every time you've blinked, I've felt a breeze. - Really? - Yeah. - A little flutter? - A little flutter. It feels like hummingbirds are in my hole. - Mm-mm, you brought hole into this. - It was safe when I did it. That was an intentional hole usage. - I think you need to maybe take a page out of my book and be more intentional with your holes. - We'll see you in the bonus. - Peace out. Ooh. - This week, I'm close friends. - The aim is to achieve orgasm. So you do like, oh. - It's a close off practice. If you could go back to a one moment in your life to relive what'd it be, the bagel? - It'll be the bagel 10 minutes ago. - My pussy screen. - What? - You can swindle a pussy. - I think I'm gonna start. I could see you with a globe. - Wait, I love maps. - Luckily I have ring. Ooh. - Sign up on tmgstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode. 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This week, Brooke and Connor transform into Eliphba and Glinda, but they are definitely over Halloween. Plus, Brooke talks about her day at Disney while Connor goes through his list of impossible words to say.
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Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood.
CHAPTERS
0:00 Do NOT Go In There
1:42 Intro
2:02 Halloween Is SO Over
5:40 Words That Are Impossible To Say
9:14 Crazy Sushi Roll Names
10:15 Brooke’s LODS
11:58 Twisted Tea
13:18 Brooke’s Day At Disney
16:23 Matching Keychains & Gifts
17:43 Adele Appreciation
18:27 Tristan Meets Andrew Garfield
21:01 Me + Who?
23:26 Embark Vet
25:25 Connor Goes To The Hospital
29:00 Connor Preps For NY
33:25 Collecting Sand Dollars
37:52 Seed
39:43 Arch and Miriam Walk Into a Bar
44:13 Q-Tips and Holes
46:22 Brooke Meets MiMi
49:47 BetterHelp
51:21 Rent Must Be Due
52:47 Getting Got By AI
55:10 Getting Spam Texts
57:20 Martha Stewart’s Documentary
1:03:39 I Had So Much Fun
1:06:22 Daylight Savings Struggles
1:07:44 Going To The Wicked Premiere
1:09:53 See You In Bonus!!!
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