Film Sack
Film Sack 674: Salem's Lot (1979)
On this week’s Film Sack podcast, a novelist and a young horror fan attempt to save a small New England town which has been invaded by vampires.
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- Duration:
- 1h 45m
- Broadcast on:
- 20 Oct 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
Kenny's family healthcare benefits kicked in the day he started his hourly job at Amazon. But two kids, he was a big fan of that. Then he took advantage of Amazon's On The Job Skills training program that helped him launch a new career in software development. Kenny liked that too. That led to a bigger paycheck. So he was able to get his youngest Saane. Drum roll please. Drum set. Next up, drum lessons. Learn more at about amazon.com. Amazon. Every day better. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the name your price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law, not available in all states. Mr Crockett, yes, my name is Mears Ben Mears. Looking for a place to rent. For how long? Six months maybe. Family? No. Furnished? Yes. Can't think of any. How about that house on the hill? Which house? The one is your coming to town. A martin house. Is that for sale or rent? It's sold. Can't think of anything not offhand. Might try even Miller's boarding house. It's real nice. It's on railroad street. Yeah, here we go. You remember? Thank you very much. Found my dog dead. This is LZack. Oh sure. Hello and welcome to Film Sack. This is Film Sack, mine of the very depths of film entertainment for all mankind. This is episode 600 to 74. I'm Scott Johnson. I'm here today with Brian. There's nothing quite like Fred Ward in a full three-piece plaid suit done away. Oh, but wait till you see what he's got underneath. Also, I'm at Willard. Sorry, Fred Willard. Oh, you just say oh you did. You're right. Yeah, Fred Willard. My bad. Yeah, yeah, you got it. My bad. But either way he's got silky. Anyway. Oh my. Oh, hi. Just tired. This week on Film Sack, I didn't sleep well last night. Had a funny dream about a long-ass 1979 Stephen King miniseries where vampires with a business plan and no dental coverage move into the small and sweaty town of salons, but not a lot of witches. None by my count. Begin a geometric progression of biblical proportions. It's a real six cubed amount of vampires blowing smoke and waiting to be invited in situation. No thanks. I gave blood last week. Now shoot. In you. It feels like it's been two years since I started this intro and since then I've made a vocation change from book author, boyfriend who comes over to meet the parents to popsicle stick crossmaker with a side hustle of holy water pickup and delivery. Now, excuse me. I must go plunge a wooden stake into my ex-lover's chest while avoiding eye contact. Randy, have you seen my six pack of beer and or wife? Hey, are those silk? I revoke my invitation. Nice. You've read Fred Ward. Yeah. I was thinking your intro might be twice as long given how long this thing was this week. Right. But I had one issue for each part and have as much time to write it. Yeah. You did the edit like they tried to do in theaters that failed horribly, but you're succeeded. So that's a job. Oh, thank you. Also with us today, Randy, I need an old British butler type guy to handle all my plastic wrapped, ready to bleed children Jordan. Aloha Scott, Brian, Brian. Welcome back. Thank you for coming to this gathering of most every man in the town as we prepare to go outside as a search party and scour the woods. Being from a small town. I know you've all done this before, but I'm going to go ahead and explain it to you just to be sure. I'm the sheriff, Baron Harkonin. Although I'm really going to call myself constable later. I don't know. My job is to completely fail you all when it comes time to do my job. I'm going to make a big old country mess of things. And you're going to stare at my incredible eyebrows. They're like, they're like bonsai trees that haven't been attended to in years. But first, I'm going to give you three rules. Number one. So y'all know how everyone saw the town fat guy just drive off with his slut wife, sport, and a shiner within minutes of her boss dying mysteriously. We're not going to consider that even the least bit specifications. We're not even going to mention it again. So drop it. Number two. We have two different new people in town. So those are naturally our prime suspects. But Ben here is blonde and has a friendly manner. So we're going to rule him out as a suspect instantly, instantly. We make snap judgments around here. I heard the other guy say chow and that is suspicious. Number three. If you see something notable, like a piece of torn fabric hanging from a shrubbery, don't touch it. Leave that to me. I will touch it and ruin its usefulness as evidence. I will touch it so much. But not you, Ben. Not you. Nicely done. Also, good poll on the Baron Harkon. And I completely forgot that actor played him in the original dune. All right, nicely done. Also with this. And finally, Brian, I hate it when he scratches at my window at 2am a bit. But come, let me in, Scott. Let me in. Let me in. Right. Let's get to the song. Haven't done anything with this artist yet. So I will tell you, I wrestled with the Beach Boys in my room, which was going to be called Freeze and Zoom, because they use that a lot in this movie, Freeze Frame, and then Zoom into it. But boy, is that a slow song. And then I was going to do Piano Man and introduce all the characters that live in Salem's lot. But I couldn't come up with anything that rhymed really, you know, there was a good parody of the words Piano Man, like the author man. Yeah, there's nothing. There's nothing. Sure. So I settled on this one right here. Hoped on my Jeep back in Salem's lot. My stupid driver's side door won't shut. This place hasn't changed. Not in 20 years. You know, this is where I grew up. Go into town and I can feel my heart beating, meeting the locals, and I think they're all cheating. The realtor's definitely in the wrong show. He should be hosting a dog show. There's something sinister about to fester. Smells like Death and Polyester. That's when the missing kids scratched at the window, and that Lost Boys song was on. And that Lost Boys song was on. And that Lost Boys song was on. So I fill my bag up on a fang banger hunt. I'm gonna give it all I've got. Got my holy water like, yeah. Popsicle crucifix like, yeah. I got my wooden steak. I've got what it takes to drive a red through his heart. Yeah. It's a party in Salem's lot. Yeah. It's a party in Salem's lot. Crave Digger sitting in the rocking chair telling me look at him now. Think season a dead hypnotist, is he gonna make me move like a cow? Up to the martin house, maybe going to my doom. This place could really use a dusting and a vacuum, 'cause all I know is that I got to, track down the nastiness for a to. My tummy's turning out and sneaking up the staircase. Hey, it's the guy from the antiques place. That's when the ringtone played, my favorite tune of Empire Weekend song was on. And then the weekend song was on. A vampire weekend song was on. So I fill my bag up on a fang banger hunt. I'm gonna give it all I've got. Got my holy water like, yeah. Popsicle crucifix like, yeah. I got my wooden steak. I've got what it takes to drive it right through his heart. Yeah. It's a party in Salem's lot. Yeah. It's a party in Salem's lot. That was awesome. Dude, I unapologetically like the original, so I'd like hearing a parody about it. Yeah. Boy, she's an octave higher than I am. And, okay, you could really feel it. I'm not sure she is anymore though. You know, I hear these days, she keeps it way lower than she did when she was a kid. She's just a surprisingly good singer. Like as a pure singer, she is. She's talented as hell, it turns out. Not just, but when you listen to her talk these days, she sounds like she's eating cigarette. She's got such a low crusty hand. And that's fine. I don't want to judge anyone for eating a pack of cigarettes. No, it's been straight. I'm going to judge people if they eat cigarettes. Yeah, well, you know what, I might judge that as well. That's a good point. Yeah, I just looked it up. When you first started, I was like, oh, this is this is a party in the USA. I'm going to look up the song. She wrote and recorded this song when she was 17. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. She's very young. There's a great mashup between her and Biggie Smalls called, I forget the name of it. It's part of that one thing they do every year, the big mashup thing they. Yeah, the booty mashups. Booty mashups. And it's so good. I can't remember the name of it. It's like party, party and bullshit. That's the name. It's great. Look it up. Okay, all right. It's really, really good. Hey, everybody, we're here to talk about Salem's Lot. Not all the various versions except the one. The OG adaptation, Salem's Lot, 1979, originally a two-part televised mini series. It also got edited into a shorter film that did not do well at movie theaters. A lot of people turns out, though. And you guys wouldn't let me watch that one instead. Well, I didn't see any of us stopping you. Yeah, you could have. I could stop you. I could feel the judgment. Like vampire outside my window going. Can you believe it's been six years since we've watched a three-hour long movie? It's been a while, dude. It's been a while, dude. How about a two-and-a-half-hour movie? How about those? This one, we've done those, for sure. You did that like the week before. It wasn't done. It was something we watched recently that was-- Something was really long. What was that? Yeah. I don't remember. I remember Scarface was longer than I was expecting. Oh, yeah. That was close to three. Yeah. That was pretty long. This one is very long. It's three hours exactly. If you don't count the opening credits, I did a little timer at the top and right at three hours of the start of the full three hours, the credits ends. He had a few minutes of credits. But it's-- St. Louis love for '79. And they put it out as a two-parter because-- I don't know. Were they just not confident in the theatrical deal? I don't know. It was made for this. The original plan was for it to be a movie. And then they realized, no, we've got a really long script. Let's put it on TV. And so now it's going to be a TV series. And then they cut it down to only two parts because it's horror. You can't really-- in the 1970s, you can't really make a case for a horror series on TV. Yeah, they planned on making it continue, right? They were going to be on the run, fight new foes, and do kind of vampires that come for the revenge or whatever. And then it just didn't happen. It's what they tried to do with "Under the Dome" is extend it beyond its original mini-series quality and just say, oh, let's make a series out of this. So maybe it's a good thing that they didn't decide to turn it into a full-on series. Silver linings. I'm going to go ahead and play the "Fake Fletcher" so that we can get a better feel for the Stephen King adapted "Salem's Lot" as second ever published novel from 1979. Here it is. This goes places. So I apologize to your ears right away. Here we go. [YELLING] Salem's Lot, a novelist and a young horror fan attempt to save a small New England town, which has been invaded by vampires. It's like the entire guest starring cast of "Love Boat" in this thing. Yeah. It's true. I has begged us to release this from his mortal family. I know exactly. Kill me, kill me, kill me, please. And just so you guys know, for the record, when I put in where it goes crazy at the beginning with the name, I'll show you the entire prompt. This is ridiculous. This is what it looks like. I'll put it in our share. And for those listening at home, this is just the text that I put into the thing that then takes and makes a voice out of supposedly from Mario's voice. Just so incorrect at this point. But that's it. That's it. You put an exclamation mark at the end. Maybe that's the point. That must be all it takes. Yeah. Right? It's like, I'm going to amp this up to 12. But you'd think it would do that with the last line, because I have a one there, too. Maybe it's sure totally. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. You should do a next time to do a question mark after the movie title. We didn't see where it goes. You know what? We might do it right now in real time. OK. Let's hear what it does if we just ask the question. Salem's lot. We'll just do that part. Here we go. Saloms lot. Saloms lot. Saloms lot. I got it right with the exclamation point. It's really funny. I don't get it. Anyway, I want to go back to the beginnings on this thing, because usually when we haven't ever touched a franchise or a series of films, we've heard of something that is notable, in the franchise or the series we've heard. Oh, this thing is really, really bad, the third part, or whatever. And it's always difficult for us as a group of four guys who are going to watch a movie together to insert ourselves into a series. And so the best thing we can do is just start at the very beginning, because what we're doing with James Bond, we're just-- we start at the very beginning, and then, no matter what we do, we don't have questions about, well, I guess if we'd seen the first one, you know what I'm saying? So this is us starting at the beginning. And I'm like, oh, no. It's really good. And I probably don't ever want to watch any other Salem's lot. Yeah, you know what? This is actually-- so this is my biggest takeaway from this thing. It is definitely a thing of its time. It feels like 1979 in every possible way. But there are moments in this where I was all surprised it ended up on TV. It's like, holy shit, that kid of the window, genuinely creepy. The vampire's pretty creepy, although him bonk in the two heads in the kitchen made me laugh out. I had no idea they were dead until they said-- My parents are dead, and they're like, all right, I know. Stop. I think that was just made of unconscious. Apparently, in one of the other versions, the 2004 version, and it's Rettger Hauer, by the way, is the primo, the primo ballerino vampire. He actually snaps the neck of Danny's mother to-- Or Mark's mother. To really put a point on the emphasis-- Oh, no, Danny. Yeah, Danny. Yeah, yeah. So I read the book forever ago, and I've kind of-- here lately, I've been tempted to read it again, because I've been reading a lot of horror this year. I always try to around this time of year. And I thought, you know, I probably had to pull something from the old days or something I hadn't read in a long time, and I thought that might be a good pick. But if I remember right, yeah, there's a much more-- not just menacing vampire involved, but this-- so this is kind of an overall take. This thing takes forever to show him, right? Yeah. Forever. Like, almost to the whole second half of the miniseries, which I understand that in the context of a miniseries, you're trying to pad the thing out and lead up to a thing and have people on their hook and all that. But that took way too long. And in the book, he's all over the place. Like, he's not just going, [GROWLING] I mean, there's talking, and him talking to his familiar dude is Butler Guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. And all of the plans to go there are-- there's dialogue with him, and he's much more intelligent. He's not just nosferatujr.com. Timu, with the blue skin and everything. You know, he's-- yeah, the blue skin is a weird touch, but the-- I mean, it is a very effective look. And I think more so, you know, having him being this-- you know, what we do in the Shadow's basement vampire-- Peter. --the movie enough from the TV show Peter. I love Peter so much. Anyway, right. So it's so cool, because, you know, I didn't see-- I didn't watch any of the 2004 one. And I got you. Look at the cast list of the 2004 one. And you wonder why this 1971 version is the highest rated on Rotten Tomatoes of the three versions that we've gotten. But Rob Lowe, Andre Brauer, Donald Sutherland, Rucker Howard, James Cromwell, all in the 2004 version. Yet it's this-- it's hutch-fronted version. [INTERPOSING VOICES] I got to say, like, James Mason and Bonnie Badelia and Julie Cobb are like that level in 1979. Like, you know what I'm saying? We just don't really recognize it until we get into the meat of the movie. We're like, oh, at least for me, I was really pleased with the acting. I thought the directing was top-notch, you know? Not bad. Like, again, it's a thing of its time. And it felt like it had a taste of the '70s horror thing that everybody was raving about in that era, right? I mean, you had Toby Hooper, you know, big screen director of horror, coming to TV. Yeah. Yeah, he made this after Texas Chainsaw Massacre and right before Poltergeist. Yeah. This guy is in the prime of his horror career. Yeah, and it was also a lot more understated compared to, say, Chainsaw, which I know it's, you know-- it's like early Peter Jackson stuff. You're like, holy shit, this is the guy that did Lord of the Rings, this is chaos, blood, gore, whatever. And that's kind of how the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was, and then you go to this, and it's just like a more subdued, cerebral thing. What I was having a hard time focusing on, though, was like, oh my gosh, it's Holly Gennaro from Die Hard. Oh my gosh, it's Fred Willard from all the comedy. Oh, it's Chris Pines looking dad, but not his dad, but the guy that looks like Chris Pines dad. I can't think of his name. Yeah. It's George Drunza, like that guy, the fat guy that's mad and wants to shoot his wife and slap her in the door shut. Jeffrey Lewis was like-- You just named some people. Can you believe it's the first film sack we've ever sacked? Like, George Drunza, I just blows my mind that we've never seen this guy on film sack before. He's been on a lot of TV stuff, but do we have anything that we've seen with him? No, but boy, he is top-notch creepy. He's the real bad guy in this film. Yeah. We haven't done Crimson Tide yet. That's the one I thought we did, and we haven't. He's great as calm on there. Our main actors, David Sol, James Mason, Lance Kerwin, this is our first film on film sack for them. I also looked up Bonnie Bedelia. This is our second film. She was sure. Die Hard 2, right? No, Die Hard 1, she's-- Oh, we didn't do Die Hard 2 for-- We haven't done 2 yet, mental thing. OK. We should, who don't we? We totally should. Christmas time, let's do Die Hard 2. Have we only done one Die Hard? We've done no other Die Hard-- No, come on, we didn't do the Samuel Jackson, really? That, I'm with you, dude. That blows my mind. I could just ignore it. I could have sworn that if there was any of them that we did, I could have sworn it was Die Hard 3 with avenge of things. Well, even the one with Kevin Smith. No, wow, OK, that's crazy. I looked up all these actors. We've almost-- it's almost the first for all of them, and then we get to Jeffrey Lewis. And of course, we've seen Jeffrey Lewis, our seven movie, with Jeffrey Lewis, but he's such a successful character actor in our time frame in our late '70s to late '80s time frame. Jeffrey Lewis, he was in every which way, but Lewis, and Maverick, and Tango and Cash, and The Way of the Gun, and so on. He's pulling him up on a mobile device, like IMDB. I think on my iPad, I'm like, oh, yeah, what else have we seen Jeffrey Lewis in? It had to open up a separate page. IMDB says, here's a whole page full of Jeffrey Lewis appearances. He was in tons of stuff, and he has-- he looked like he was born at the age of 53. He does. Even in his 20s, he was like at that jowl thing going, and just a trippy looking guy. I love that, dude. And I've known of him for a long time, because he made a bunch of new age albums, and I had a couple of them as a kid. Basically, Jeffrey Lewis went to Africa, got really, really high, and then came back and formed a new age band, and it was called Celestial Navigations, and was successful with it. Whenever you even heard of it, Celestial-- I used to love new age music, so let's see. What's it called, Celestial Navigations? Celestial Navigations. He's just-- it's him telling stories over a bed of electronica. No way. Come on, I was on the set of Tango and Cass. Oh, I found it. I heard Russell came up. Do you guys want to hear this? I got some. Hold on. Sure, let's hear it. Ooh. Here we go. I don't know how long this whole intro is. As it moved through the countryside, snow-covered land slips smoothly by. I now have a-- I can now get rid of my better sleep app. Finally, unsubbed of that damn-- that trash. So much for a Vancouver sleep clinic, right? That's crazy. I would have never-- never would have picked that foot, OK? And I started with him-- it wasn't my parents had his albums. I got his album because I saw him on a late night show. It was like "The Tonight Show" and "Here's Celestial Navocations." And they did do it three minutes. And then Jeffrey Lewis sits and talks to Johnny. And I'm like, oh, I need that. And so I found the bargain basement copy of something. And then boom. And I love it. I think it's awesome. But this guy, he is in such a different movie in Salem's lot than everyone else. It's so bizarre to me how Jeffrey Lewis is doing a thing that you could pluck it out of this movie and just see this. It's amazing. Yeah, he's very good. There is no need to have the graveyard keeper storyline at all. It's really almost inconsequential, but I would not remove it. Yeah, I wouldn't either. He's great. Oh, yeah. And you know why a shocking dead dog-- You know why it's really important, though, is at the end when the kid is watching Starsky kill the vampire? It is Starsky not hutch, right? Touch. It's hutch. Why is it touch? David's soul was hutch. I was going to get confused, too. The curly hair of that was Starsky. I always mix that up. Anyway. And hutch Hutchinson. So hutch is out there pounding the stake into Blue Boy, right? So slow. And then sharpen that thing before he got there. And then the kid who looks like the same-- House Crane, Young Niles Crane. Young Niles Crane, exactly. His 5-B-B photo is on camera. Landscrew and-- He's over there kind of staring in that door with the lock is still open. And when those things start creeping behind him and slowly working their way out, that's next-level shit. That looked insane. It is great. Yeah, it is so good. Really scary. Thank goodness for that, by the way. Because if you didn't have that, all you would have is a man very slowly hammering. Would you hurry up and hammer? Hammer, man. I have hammer and nail your hammer faster than this. Aren't you excited right now? Brian, look. Stephen King vampires, they're like titanium hearts. All right, we just have to-- And actually, this brings me to my only beef about this thing, because I actually had a good time with it. It didn't feel as long as it clearly was. There was a lot of stretchy talk during the first part, and then things got more action-oriented. You'll actually hear that today when I play clips, because they kind of end roughly around the time the thing splits. There's not a lot of great dialogue after that. But all that being said, the only real beef I have with this thing is they decided to-- And this is not in the book so much, if I remember, right? Decided to throw a bunch of haunted house tropes into this thing that don't have any rules, and you guys know how I feel about that. I freaking hate that. So you're going to say, oh, the chairs can-- Are you trying to feel like doors open and stuff? And chairs can move suddenly. I think the vampires are doing that. I don't think it's hard to tell stuff. Yeah, I was curious about that, because I never read the book. But I mean, when the vampire comes in like a train and suddenly appears on the floor in the kitchen, I was like, what the hell's going on? Well, and that's what I mean, is like he's-- In the book, there's no like shit moving around in the book. It's just-- he doesn't have those kind of powers. He's just a really nasty vampire. Right, like the-- So they add all that to add more ambiance or whatever to the film, and it was like, all right, so this kitchen, all the chairs move by themselves. That's cool. It was creepy. I mean, it's not-- But if there was going to be a haunted house, it would be the mansion, it would be the Marsden Mansion. Which wouldn't be the kids-- What a payoff on that house, by the way, Ibit. Oh, god. I mean, they kept showing the outside of the house and I'm thinking, oh, that's a psycho house. Cool, kind of looks like a psycho. But it's not-- it's kind of obviously looks like it's been modified to look like that. But anyway, I was like, oh, what's it look like inside? Because we're always outside staring in. You get inside and it's like, oh, it's decrepit and dusty. Yeah, it is a shit show. Like stuff's still falling from the ceiling and went up on to the deal. It was walking around and looking around for stuff and she nearly steps on some rats. I'm like, look up at the ceiling. Just look up at the ceiling. Figure out where all that dust is coming from. That house needed to be condemned. So burning it was the right answer. Maybe not, would your girlfriend in it, but it definitely-- Yeah, I liked how most of the people who had a line that included the phrase "Marsden House" tried to say it. So it sounded a little bit like "Monster House." I loved that. Every time they were like, oh, did they just try to say "Monster House"? Because that's cool. Yeah. Also, they're playing with that accent, that "North East," you know? "Monster House." Oh, you're not going up to the "Monster House." Some of them were. Some of them were completely not at all. Oh, and some of them would change. Like, even the best one was probably Jeffrey Lewis. Maybe the other druns a guy. Maybe they were the best at it. But they were also-- Could put an R and a guy who's got two D's in his name. Well, I just-- I'm invoking the spirit of the call. Fred Willard didn't try at all to do it. No, but he seemed like an outsider anyway, right? So I was down with that. He's also my chick in the bucket. He's my chick in the bucket, because that dude, after his little affair breakup and goes outside and sees the slosom hand. Apparently, there were some cut scenes. I didn't see it, but I read about the shorter cut, this more violent make for theaters. And apparently, I guess he has to put the gun in his mouth or something. So I mean, I'm like, ooh. Well, let's say he did all those things. OK, I also have a problem with that scene. We'll get to that in a second. But he goes outside, the camera zooms in in the weird way with the hand, and then the cut to immersion. So that's all we get with that. And that's fine. Then he's driving, or he's behind the wheel of the car, that-- He goes, he's gonna drop the monkey at the lake. Well, he's gonna bonk with his head. Hold on, hold on. So Fred Willard leaves the house. Yeah. The vampire has arrived in town, and Fred Willard's the first person the vampire meets face to face. First wheel of the real victim, yeah, except for the kid, I guess. And it scares him to death. He dies on the lawn of the house he just left. All right? Well, I don't know. We don't know. They don't show how he-- And Strayker has to come take the body, put it in the car, and set it up, set it up so that it looks like there was an accident, and he died driving. Right. It's not a lot of closures, all I'm saying. All of that not being depicted is a shame. Yeah. Because he's giving us a lot more to chew on with Strayker. Instead, you're just like, this guy is kind of like a shop decorator. Like, he doesn't really-- Yeah. And you think-- I didn't realize, OK, that he just was scared to death, because you're thinking, oh, OK, well, he's going to now be a vampire as well. You know, the silky boxer, the shirtless vampire. But no, he's just dead dead. He's just dead dead. Yeah, why wouldn't a vampire want to have another minion, like he did with everybody else? All that stuff just was weird to me. Maybe Fred Willard's too much of a crack-up to do it. I don't know what they're-- He's too wild. But I'm still giving him the bucket. Grab a bucket. So here's the thing I was going to say about that scene. Derunza. Sorry. When he comes home-- Yeah, we'll call him Collie. When he comes home, and he makes him hold that gun in his forehead or his face, I'm like, that's stupid, because maybe in '79 it seemed normal. But that gives Fred Willard all of the control and all of the leverage. All you have to do is turn that thing. It's not hard. You have the length of the barrel. You have all the leverage. Just go, turn it this way. Run, wrestle it away. Whatever you got to do, I realize the other guy's kind of big, probably wrestling to the floor or whatever. But that annoyed the shit out of me, dude. Zenza, he went on for like 10 minutes about how many pounds of pressure he had on the trigger and how much it would take to do it. So he was implying that even the slightest move would result in-- Five pound trigger, and he's already got three pounds on it, apparently. I would say, I've seen those fingers. I'm saying maybe already four and a half pounds. What am I, is you don't want to melee fight with a long gun. That's just you just don't want to do that. You want to stay away from your opponent. Yeah, and you've got a long gun. I completely agree. And so that annoyed me because it either meant Fred Willard is completely inadequate to the world, or maybe that's fine. Yes, the answer is yes. Or it's just bad direction, like, hey, this would be cool. This is menacing. And in a way it is, but all I could think of is, no, it's just cool. And you're done. And even if he fires it, shoots up into the wall, you've got the advantage. Go after him. If you get a sight, maybe a glancing, a scratch from-- if you're not able to get it away from your face in time or something, but it's not going to kill you. My favorite thing is when we first see Fred Willard, the very first scene of Fred Willard as Larry Crockett, he's got his hand on Julie Cobb's shoulder. And he's like rubbing her shoulder. And I'm just like, oh, they're a couple. And then you find out she's married to the fat guy in town. And then you find out the townspeople call her boom, boom, body. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah, clearly got her around a little bit. And she will turn on you in a second way. She will-- He's rapping me. Exactly. She will say whatever they did out of any situation. Yeah, and that really went from 1 to 100, right? Because they were in there cuddling out. How did he get a little silky panties or whatever? And then suddenly he came in here and tried to R-A-P-E-M. That's king, right? That's a Stephen King thing right there. If I made it from the book. I don't remember. I got to read it again. I just feel like the book was a little more competent in those areas. But I could be remembering. I think it's a character writing. I think that's how he does it last time. It's because you just never know. It's like you was talking about the gun thing. It's like, I like to think that I'd be like, ha, I'm in a situation that I could control. But then if you're in the situation, you're like, do I trust this person? I'm known this person for years. Is he just trying to intimidate me? If I jerk this away, am I going to escalate the situation? I mean, it's already in my face. But those are kind of things I think about when I analyze, what would I do? What would you do? - Yeah. - And we see in the trivia that a lot of characters from the book were dropped for the movie and that Stephen King approved. And then at the same time, there are some characters in the movie where I'm like, I don't understand why they even retained these. Like the bed and breakfast hostess and her ex-husband, the town drunk, were retained for the movie. They provide a lot of like interesting characterization, but there's no story for them at all. - Yeah, the book has way more about those people. But like, yeah, all his books do, right? There's, Dunaway's right. There's like a conflict between characters that Stephen King always does. Like the big fear is there's a vampire moving to town, but there's all these many fears of this guy's drunk all the time. This guy thinks he's taking his girl. So he's going to beat him up and send him to the hospital. Like there's all this other shit that just heightens the tension. Hard to do that in like a three hour adaptation, you know? - Mm-hmm. - 'Cause it's like five movies in one kind of. - Right, I think the reason why they kept, was that Eva Miller, the character that I guess the bed, is she Marie Windsor, I believe. - Right, the courting house owner. - Yeah, that's the kind of actress, is that not her? - It's, yes, yes, yes, yes, go ahead. - Yeah, yeah, but that's like your TV draw. It's like, oh, we want to pull in some of these, you know, old movie watchers who, you know, you flash her face in the commercials, 'cause she has a pretty small role to kind of attract people in, right? - Yeah, I mean, you definitely, I'm saying, there were definitely reasons to have some of these characters. I'm just saying like, it's too bad that we hadn't gotten to a point where people making movies like this were doing a lot more dialogue, because there could have been some really interesting parts of the book that were retained. And instead, they're just sort of, they're just sort of town's folk, you know, the town folk are also here. - Is Elijah Cook Jr. just not amazing? I love him. Weasel, he's the town type. - Yeah, but don't talk about it. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, there's a couple of scenes where you're just like, ooh, look at him. You know, like the sheriff goes and asks him to keep an eye on the new guy in town. - Yeah, yeah. - And you're like, okay, all right, but that doesn't pay off at all. Nothing happens. - Good point, you know what? He might be the better check in the bucket. He really doesn't have any resolution. We don't hear from him again. - No, and last, I think we see him. He's like, what, reading. Oh, actually, that's actually not true. We get some verbal resolution on him, because she says that weasel tried to bite me. So he has been turned. - Oh, thank goodness. Oh, he was turned. - I love that. He's a vampire now. - In the book, Barlow overcomes almost everyone in the town. - Yeah. - Like, it's a Stephen King book. You're not gonna survive. - No, and he's the kind of vampire too that, by the way, that is as ancient as they, you know, the ones that are all like Nosferatu looking are the oldest vampires. They're the ones that have been around forever. And they do a great job of that in the book while still making him intelligent and not just a raving animal. And in the adaptation, or at least this one, Barlow's just a, you know, it's just an animal. - I thought he was patient zero. So I thought all the rest of vampires were gonna dissipate once he got killed, but. - That only works that way. I think they don't have his power. They don't have his resistance to stuff. Like he could just take that cross out of his hand. - Yeah, they die easily after they've been turned. - Yeah. - They really don't, they don't get some kind of super strength or. - No. - They just fade away. We've been burned out. - Yeah, their teeth stay the same. They're good. They're fine. - I mean, what King did with that book basically was say, let's take the archetype everybody is already familiar with this ancient style thing. But let's bring it to this tiny town in Maine. That's the story, right? It isn't, it's usually like, oh, in Transylvania, he's up on the hill in his big castle or whatever. This is like, no, what if he, what if they shipped him across the world in a crate? Man, it was cold all the time around the crate and that was weird. But anyway, now he's in the tent. - I love the, I did love how the crate and the back of the truck when they were hauling it, kept moving, sliding forward, getting closer. - At one point in time, it was on his side. It was like a parody, almost, idea of all people like that. - It's like, it's really just the vampire being a dick and saying, I'm gonna make you have to carry this thing even further out of the truck. - Yeah, yeah, that's a good point 'cause they have to open the thing and go all the way back now. - Good idea. I should forward, yeah. - Yeah, poor guys. I don't know, but there is a tone to the entire affair that does match the king, the king of verse, right? That's how I think it's greatest successes because from what I understand, I haven't seen any of them, including the new one. But every other adaptation down the road did not capture that feeling that he does so well. So it's probably a Toby Hooper's just tuned into it, man. - Dude. - I know how to do this, so I'm gonna do this, so let's do this, you know. - I'm gonna hoop this up. - Yeah. - So done away, you were gonna bite the bullet and watch the edited movie version be you didn't do it. - Not additionally, I was gonna watch it instead. - Oh! - I was being sarcastic about biting the bullet. - Gotcha. - I was gonna take a super bullet right into the face. - I thought you were gonna go four and a half hours of content, that's what I thought you were gonna go. - Heck that's-- - Man, that was dedication, man, that was a huge one. - Well, it's like I tell you guys what, I'll watch the other one, and y'all watch that three hour piece of crap, ha ha. - Well, if you said maybe you were gonna watch the new one, did you get a chance to or no? - Oh, no, no, it went to a Halloween parade last night instead, which was much more fun. And-- (laughs) - By all accounts, it might review better, too, 'cause that thing's not getting great reviews. - Yeah, again, this one doesn't have the two, the 2024 thing, and it's just a movie on Max, but does not have the big star power that the 2004, or even the, at its time, the 1979 version, but yeah, it's, boy, I watched the trailer, and the trailer looks great, especially right after watching the 1979 version, and you know those scenes. - It wasn't the things we didn't talk about, the why, I'm sorry. - I thought you were through, sorry. - No, I liked it 'cause I think I was through. - I just liked it. - I was gonna do an end, then on top of your thing, and apologies, but you-- - I think you should do this from now on, if you wanna do anything in life, even, when you're supposed to raise your hand, just go. (laughs) - Just do that, Sam. - I thought what was coming out of my mouth was, and because I thought it was through, and I was gonna do it, and this. - You're fine. - But now we've went so far off track, I think I was gonna say something about, I think what works about this movie is, is kind of homage to, like, stuff like, psycho and universal type monsters. I don't think you put that in a more modern version of that, and I think that's where it's gonna fail, because this is a nice bridge between that old type of horror, and coming into newer things. - Sure, yeah, I think that's-- - Works well there, yeah. - Like Ed said, I still think, at some point I do wanna watch the new one, it's got William Sadler in it. Come on, I mean, that might be the biggest name looking at this list, other than you've got Bill Pullman son Lewis, who's really good in that outer range show. - Yeah, and I really have no problem with, like, no namers, like-- - Alfre Woodard, Bill Tampe. - If it's good, I don't care who they are, I just need, it's like, to me, it's like, one of the great, one of the best things about the new Alien movie, Romulus, is that I don't know anyone in there, you know? - Did you guys see, I didn't send it to you, crap. - Guess what? - What? - Romulus is getting a special VHS version, really. - Shut up, I shit you not. - Really? - Oh my gosh. - Just for sucker, collectors like you, that's awesome. - Just for suckers like maybe the crappy scan lines in the four by three will cover up a little bit of my only problem with that movie. We'll see how it goes. - Everybody asked in the comments. (laughing) - Yeah, it's important. - Is it for my threes, gush scan lines? - Yeah, of course they did, 'cause they're like you. - Yeah. - They're all weird. - Yeah, how much are weird? - But no, like, the, I was gonna say, I was gonna say, oh, we haven't talked about him yet, but-- (laughing) - We haven't talked about James Mason, the familiar, the, not familiar, what do you-- - A drinker. - Yeah, he's the familiar. - Is that what they call in vampire lords familiar, right? - Yes, they don't say it here, but that's what they call it. - He's awesome. Like, if you ever, I don't know if you'd spend much time seeking that dude out in his older work, like in '82, he's in the verdict, he's fantastic in that. Lots of old stuff, but he's such a great actor. And at first I was like, how did they sucker his ass doing this? He's a stage legend, he's like, got all these accolades. How do you get that guy to do your schlocky TV thing? And I looked at all the trivia, that guy was stoked. He was like into this, he loved this role, and he was like, reveling in it and stuff, and I gotta quit pre-judging these things based on, you know? Yeah, I always think everyone's gonna be like, what's his name who played Obi-Wan? He-- - Guinness. - Guinness. Yeah, famously just was like, this sucks, why am I doing this? Oh my gosh, my career is dead. - I'm so much better than this. - Yeah, I always think that that era of dude is gonna be like that, and this guy was like, nah man, I got to play it. - I enjoyed watching his antiquities unloading, like there was like a Mongoose getting taxidermy snake thing, wrestling thing, that was cool. - Mm-hmm, what do you think I put all that shit though, 'cause that house was just like, so garbage, where was all the art and the fancy-- - Oh, that was the store, they set up a store and they bought this. - Oh, you mean the right, right, right, and that's in the book too, yeah. That's how they think he's legit coming to town, he's got a store. - Yeah, and that store in Salem's lot is the very beginning of King writing needful things, like he needful things comes from his ideas about what that store should be. - Yeah. - I was just blown away by how Stryker, throughout this movie, felt like to me, he was setting a standard for this kind of role. And I'm not saying that Harvey Guillen in what we do in the shadows is like a clone of him, but I promise you, the people making what we do in the shadows have watched this movie and have thought about Harvey Guillen, just like wearing clothes that are a little like this. You know? - Mm-hmm, yeah, that wouldn't be surprising. - And it's really funny every time Nandor says, "Not you, Guillermo," right? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - But like, having that knowledge makes this movie so much better for me. - Yeah, I mean, he's everybody's idea now of a comedic version of this. - I guess that, what's that thing? What was the Nicholas Cage, Nicholas Howt thing that came out last year? - Oh, uh, uh, uh, Redfield. - Redfield. - Redfield, yeah. - Redfair. - Redfair. - Redfair. - I'm gonna get a turkey leg. We're gonna watch some jousting. It's gonna be fantastic. - That's right, exactly. Hello, fair maiden. Come inside for some goods with our name printed on them. - It's always a fun thing to play with. In fact, I really like the movie, what we do in the shadows, use of that, how they, uh, you know, how they, how they did the familiars, and they had various familiars in the movie and in the show, I suppose, there have been other familiars, but I love that whole concept. And I also like when they parody and play with the whole ancient vampire thing with Peter in the first movie, and Doug Jones plays, I forgot the name of it, but the really old vampire in the TV show. - Yeah, in the book, Salem's Lot, you do not get a story for Barlow that goes before World War I. - Right. - He, coming out of World War I, we get the beginnings of his story. He's in Germany, the Germans go out of vampire hunt, you know, like that forces him to leave and go to England, et cetera, et cetera. But like, I feel like later, maybe in Dark Tower, I don't know, like some point later, King starts telling us that Kurt Barlow is a lot older than that. But in this story, and especially in this movie, Barlow is actually not that old. He's, you know, maybe a hundred years old or something like that. - He gets no older. - Yeah. - Yes, that's another thing. Like, he is so clearly killed in this movie. - Yeah. - I'm just like, that's surprising me. Like, I have never seen this before. And I'm shocked that this character vampire gets completely, definitely killed. - I think the-- - Definitely. - The Ned Tibbetts. - Definitely, definitely. - The Ned Tibbetts character, who plays him. There's no phone in here. Anyway, just 'cause you mentioned Dark Tower, that's a character who shows up in Dark Tower stuff. So this is one of the King novels that is considered in universe for Dark Tower stuff. - But we're a character too. He's like, he's the ex-boyfriend, and he's like, he's just there to be mad about everything. - Yeah, but in the end, he's one of the creepy faces crawlin' toward the kid. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - With those thick-ass contacts on. Oh my gosh, that's incredible. - He's the two strong facts. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You posted a photo of, what's his face? - Jeffrey Lewis. - A grave digger. Jeffrey Lewis. - And a digger. - Yeah, just that whole, but like you said, that whole scene where he's in the rocking chair. - Look at me. I don't know if they just had a single light facing him that was just very, very good at reflecting in his eyes, or if they had something in the context that caused more of a reflection, but it's just such a, whenever they had that reflection in the contact lenses, it was so damn freaky and powerful. - Yeah, like there was hate. (upbeat music) - To remind you that 60% of sales on Amazon come from independent sellers, Farmer Bob of Princeton popcorn. - Howdy. - Or read 60% of this ad. Fire away, Bob. - Small business owners like myself. - Are growing their businesses faster on Amazon. - By getting help with things like shipping. - Shop small business on Amazon. - Especially Princeton popcorn. - Amazon, everyday better. - This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance, fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to progressive and save hundreds. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save. Progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations. - One of the scenes where a kid is floating outside a window, I was pretty sure the eyes were animations that were drawn on those. - Yeah, I think it was so. - Might have been. Might have been. - But that stuff looks way too good. Like, you know what I mean? And we got, I don't know how many emails already and plus a bunch of stuff on socials, people going, oh, you guys are doing that. That thing killed me as a kid. I still think about it. That window scene, oh my gosh, I've never gotten over it. Yeah, I mean, and it's still effective. I expected nothing but cheese and shellac. And there's some. But this was like, oh shit, him sitting in that dark room, that really got me. - And we had to, we know, we watched on Max, it's on Max. This is where you're going to go to watch this if you haven't watched it yet. Hurry up and then come back to us. - Yeah, hurry up and do three hours. - With Max, you never know what you're going to get. And I want you to know, the film, the restored film, the transfer of this thing looks good. - Mm-hmm. - It is good. - You look good. - Like, I'm watching a 4K TV and I'm prepped for bad looks. - Yeah, great, great. I'm with the graininess and stuff, yeah. - Some of the famous shots from this movie, like the famous shot of looking up at Jeffrey Lewis from inside the grave, I was just, I was like, you're not going to be able to really tell what this is. - No, it looks so good. Someone took a lot of time and care to make this movie look really, really good. In 2024, I'm very pleased. I actually, my notes are just like over and over. Film restoration looks good. I love the visual storytelling, you know? Like, my notes just go on and on about, you know, how the scenes go on long, right? Because you're trying to build a sense of unease. So it gives you time to look around while you're watching these longer scenes. They're really, like there's some really great compositions in this movie. Like, I want to know, like did Toby Hooper like intend for some of these shots to be so beautiful? - Yes. - Wow, like people were watching it on a terrible television back in the day. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Somehow it works even with David Sol's horrendous haircut decisions. (laughing) - I know, is it a Bob? Is it a Bob? Is it a flowbie? Is it a mullet? What is it? - Both David Sol and Lance Kerwin have the, Lance Kerwin is a dime store Luke Skywalker in this movie. - Right. - And they have terrible haircuts, except in the later scene, the bookend scenes, their hair looks great. What, how did your hair get so much better in two years? - You know what, sorry, what's crazy is they just, he's still doing work, not a lot, but he did a little bit of work. And then he died, he just died last year at 62, way too young. - Like Sol or who? - Lance Kerwin. - Like Kerwin. - Yeah, and then this year, David Sol, David Sol passed away this year. What a weird order. (laughing) - It really is. - It's a Salem's curse. The Salem's a lot of curse, the one that waits until you get old and then kills you. - That's right. - But having the two of them look so similar, really did not do the beginning of the movie any credit because you're thinking, oh, it's this guy and his son who were in Hicuma, Hicuma, Mexico or whatever it's called. - Right. (laughing) - No, he can't wait to find out of this guy and his son. (laughing) Oh, right, that was a weird choice, wasn't it? 'Cause that's not, the book didn't do this. They didn't start with that. But they decided to book end it to give you a night. And I do like that sometimes. I think it works okay here. I think it was all right with the foreshadowing. - Yeah, exactly. - This is scary though. It doesn't, usually that sort of thing is like a really good suspense thing. And it really doesn't, it doesn't give you that much suspense because you don't know what the deal is with the holy water glowing or anything like that. There's no like, oh wow, I can't wait to see how this works out. - Can't wait to see how they find some orcs. It's gonna be awesome. - Right, in this case it just, all it does is tell you, these two people are definitely gonna survive. (laughing) - And all you need to know, it didn't have to. It could have, you could have had that scene in Guatemala without seeing the faces of the two men that are in the purge getting holy water. - Oh yeah, there you go. - And that would have fixed it perfectly for me. I spend the whole movie going, oh. You kind of spoiled here, you know? - Yeah. - So, Brian, you just showed this ghost album cover. - Yeah. - I just realized. - I just realized. - The first ghost album, Opa Sappabas. - I love that. - So, there's the full poster. - Yeah. - Have they gone on record to say, yeah, we were, it's no much. - 100%, yeah, it's 100% not a secret homage. It's like an intentional, you know? - Yeah, they kind of like, they even have the little moon up there. That's amazing. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - I have no idea. - I didn't realize how comical the hands were until you isolated them. - Yeah, I know. - They're really stupid on their own. - They really did just trace some hands with foreshortening, but if you don't think of it, it's like a little stubby fingers on the skin on the skin. Oh, I'm gonna get you a ticker. You with my foot. (laughing) - It works almost in the larger one, but in the cutout or the cropped one, it's just like, that's, well, I can't take that seriously. Anyway, that's great, I had no idea. - And I want you to know the first edition of the book, which I own, does not have that at all. The first edition of the book. - Yeah, yeah. - Has doesn't have the book ending of the drama just at the end. - No, no, I'm saying the cover. - Oh, well. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, it has a cover wouldn't have, right? 'Cause this was made for, yeah. This is the TV. - This is the TV on the new poster. - It has a cute little town. (laughing) - On it, you know? - With a mansion in the distance, you know, on the hill. - Any discussion why they called it Salem's Lot with vampires instead of witches and me constantly waiting. - Well, where's the witches? So Salem's the town and then the lot is, I think referring to, it's double meaning, right? Lot like it's-- - Right, the town name was Jerusalem's Lot. Wasn't it? - Oh, you know what? You're right. - Oh. - You're totally right. - You're totally right. - Interesting. - So when they say Salem's Lot then, what are they, now you're making me wonder. What does that mean? - You're just shortening, they just like, it's like saying, oh yeah, I live in Salt Lake instead of I live in Salt Lake City. - Oh, but Jerusalem's Lot doesn't sound like Salem's. - Oh, yeah, it does, it's shortening. Okay. - You take off the Jaru. - Yeah, you take off the Jaru, you're left with Salem's. Okay, I get it, I like that. I never knew that until just now. I hate learning things when I'm older that I should have known when I was younger. I hate that. - Well, it's a weird shortening of the name, right? Like Salem's Lot from Jerusalem's Lot. I mean, I guess you're saving a couple syllables, but it's not a whole lot of, it doesn't take a lot. - What do you definitely think at some point in time, is like, this is gonna cause some confusion with it being Salem in the title and people associating witches. - Yeah, it's usually gonna be some confusion. - If you look at this first edition cover, there is a little apostrophe mark at the beginning of Salem. - Yeah, interesting, it's gonna be a abbreviation comma or whatever they call it, yeah. - It was originally gonna be titled Second Coming. That was his original working title, Second Coming. And Tabitha King told Stephen King, don't do that. It sounds like a sex story. - Like, oh. - I thought it sounds like a religious book. - And they don't touch it. (screams) - I was worried people would be like, oh no, we're selling it. Do you have a Jesus book for sale at the bookstore? - Yeah, right, yeah. - Like his big idea was that when Jesus returns, Jesus would return as a vampire, like Jesus would be undead or something like that. Like he didn't, he never really worked through what that all meant. - Right, right, right. - I thought they kind of implied in that this was the second time that the town has been burnt down because during what the 1500s or whatever the play is supposed to be about. And they're going through the history of Salem's lot. This was the second time that the, 'cause they even say the fire is heading towards town. It's like, oh no, not again. (laughing) - Right, right, yeah. - By the way, can we talk about that decision to, well, I mean, the girlfriend's in the house, but we just gotta burn it. I mean, I guess it is a better, it is the nice antithesis too. Well, we gotta go back to save the cat. You know, we have to go back and risk certain death in order to save one person or one something. - It wasn't really that invested in her anyway. (laughing) - He took her to the lake twice, at least. - Yeah, something I wrote down, I just have to say. I love that Stephen King's self-insert character is, of course, a novelist. And that novelist gets laid immediately among entering this. - No, he meets a woman and she's impressed that he wrote the book she's reading and he gets laid so fast. Well, I mean, she gives her like three options for things to do. Like, what else did I do? Well, we could go to the tractor auctions, we could go to the feed museum, or we could go up to the lake. How about the lake? - Yeah, whatever girl looks at you and gives you the third option and then gives you the eye, that's the option. - Yeah. He was, what's crazy is that Stephen King wrote this book in his 20s. This show, yeah, this show comes out when he's 32. - Very young for somebody who just, it feels like he's just getting started, right? Like, yeah. - Yeah, we was. - And what a wild thing, you know? To be in your 20s, have a book explode like this. He had some other ghost writing stuff and all that during around this time. But like to have that happen, yeah, it's crazy. - The 80s, he said this was his favorite book. I don't know if he came out with anything after this, but. - All the favorite he's written, yeah. - I mean, if he came out with anything after this that was his favorite, right, exactly. You know, he released one thing. But in two interviews, according to the, the Salem's Lot Wikipedia, this was his favorite in two separate interviews in the 80s. - I could see that. His original, what was I gonna say? - Oh, I heard an interview recently where the someone asked him what his favorite novel was that isn't his. And he just didn't even-- - I don't know anybody else's book. That's a dumb question. - He didn't even hesitate. He said "The Lonesome Dove" books are his favorite. - Yeah, that's some really well written stuff. - He thinks this is as good a writing as anyone will ever do ever. And he was just raving about it. And I thought, maybe I should read "Lonesome." I mean, I've seen it in any series, but I should read the book. - Oh, no, we're not watching it. No, we're not watching that. It's like nine hours or something. Yeah, it's long. It's good. - I need to re-read "Dance Macabre" because it's been like 30 years since I looked at that book. And it's, I recall it being very interesting. Like Stephen King, just going through the entire modern history of horror. And like he just has a lot to, you know, a lot to say about how horror writers like him are influenced by politics and that, you know, they're often, you know, like, I was just making fun of him using a self-insert, but like he has to, like that's how he, how he is able to get to the points that he wants to make. - Yeah, right. Very controversial though, when he does it, people hate it in "Dark Tower." But I kind of like the way he does it in "Dark Tower." - Yeah. - But I get it. Like why, there's Mary Sue, right? Which is the whole, your characters are all you. And then there's just inserting yourself in the story. And in the case of "Dark Tower," literally, he's like, - Right. - He's called, you know, Kai King or, you know, Stephen King, and he talks, it's after his accident or whatever that he had in the '90s. And then a lot of people really get thrown by that shit. - What's the case, Dan Forest, "Dranker"? - It's Dan. - What's the case, Dan Forest? - Yeah. - Is it Kong? - No. - No, it's King Kong. - It's King. - Kid is straight. - King Kong. - Nothing funny, you're in a kid named Danny Glickman talked about seriously at a funeral. - That's pretty funny. - You think Glickman was great? - Glick boys. - Glick boys. - Yeah. - Ah, the Glick boys. Ah, we're gonna sure miss this Glick kid, Danny Glick. I'm like, quit saying his name, you're making this not sad. You're making it funny. - I love the names, man. We gotta, have anybody seen Mike Ryerson? What about the boom, boom, Bonnie? Like, I love the names in this thing. - Yeah. - I think those are people he grew up with or do you think that's just, you know, just making shit up? - He just likes a funny turn, right? I think that. - Like the it kids, I think some of the it kids are based on actual people he knew or something and their names were, some were just taken straight out of there. But in this one, it just felt like they were all like, "Ah, Danny Glick, see, he lives up the street, see?" It's just a lot of old. (laughing) - Yeah, see? - See, see. - A lot of '50s vibes, everything, yeah. - I like "Star Skin" Hutch. I think I'm both telling myself a different story in when I was watching this movie because I was like, his last wife died. He's already said he's kind of evil and the police officer said that he'd kill 18 people and I'm like, "Maybe he did." (laughing) And he is the big guy. - Mm, never thought of it that way. But it wasn't. It turned out you were wrong. But I feel you. (laughing) I feel you. The one actor who played the doctor, Ed Flanders, which is unfortunate if you watch the Simpsons 'cause it's one letter from Ed Flanders. But anyway, Ed Flanders is Dr. Bill Norton. He's immediately familiar to me. I see him and I go, "Oh yeah, I know this guy." - He's saying elsewhere. - Million things. - But mainly sound elsewhere, yeah. And it's weird to see him be a doctor. Did they ever hire him to be anything else? Like, I guess it probably did, but it felt like, but he was a father or a priest and the exorcist three, which we should probably watch at some point. - So for my senior project in history, everybody was assigned to pick a famous person from American history and write a thesis on them. And so I picked for some reason, Harry Truman. And so I read books on Truman and I watched this movie called "Plain Speaking" and Ed Flanders was Harry Truman in that movie. - Oh, no way. I could see that. I think I could kind of see that. Where is that? It's in here somewhere. Oh, there it is. Yeah, he's a great character actor, but I just think of him as a doctor because of St. Elsewhere it kind of ruined me. I used to love that show. I'd watch the recent fact, so, yeah. - Yeah, I, again, like I just felt like this movie was hitting way above its white class with these amazing actors in these relatively pedestrian roles, right? - Mm-hmm, yeah. What do we think? I mean, Fred Weller to the Time wasn't known so much for comedy, I don't think. I think he was mostly known for-- - Yeah, I was still confused with Herb Tarlick from "W Careful" at that point still. (laughing) - That's it, guy. - No, no, it's slightly different. No, we're trying to think of when that Martin Multhing, Fernwood, that was '70s and that was the earliest thing I can think of a Fred Willer doing comedy. And it was the, it was the basically everything he did for the Christopher Guest stuff where he wasn't, himself wasn't making the jokes. He was saying things as an inept person who didn't know he was being funny. - Right, right. - Which was his perfect talent. - I haven't seen Fernwood tonight in so long, and that used to be a common like rerun, what I recall. - Yeah, yeah. - Man, Fernwood tonight vanished from television like 30 years ago. - Yeah, '77 is when that thing started, so it would have been a couple of years before this, and there were probably a lot of surprise people saying a very serious Fred Willard in his key box or has gone up to his forehead. - Boy, he worked real hard, ran up to his death. He's so many things, all comedy pretty much too, but. - Yeah, all the modern, he was the modern family. He was the dad of what's his face. - Had a great run, and I think he was on the rest of development as somebody. - Can't remember him and Martin Mull, funny enough. - I'm just right now realizing that Fernwood tonight and America Tonight are different shows with all the same characters. - Oh, really? - How did I not know this? - Oh, that's weird. - Yeah, Fernwood tonight is the word tonight, and then America Tonight has the number two in the middle of it, and those are different shows. - That's how you don't seek 'em. - I never knew those were different shows. - I don't think I'd ever seen America Tonight. I'll only remember seeing Fernwood tonight. I don't remember the America Tonight. - But nobody's-- - Martin Mull, Norman Lear, right, it's the same thing. - And nobody's streaming it, right? Like, you can't see it. It's not streaming anymore? - I don't see it, anywhere. - Shoot. - Somebody might have an complex or something, but I don't see it anymore. - Oh, I'm sure, yeah, I'm sure somebody's got it. - I'll tell you who didn't have this movie in complex ways, so Friday. I had to finish my last hour, "Salem's Lot," right? But it was also Audra's birthday, and she had found a brand new show on Thursday night, and it was on Max, and she was running it on two TVs. So when I tried to watch it lunchtime, HBO Max, "Salem's Lot," I was met with, I'm sorry, too many devices, and I'm like, "Shh, how is she watching a show on two?" - She's watching on two TVs, like, 'cause so she can watch the same series while she's going from room to room. - Yes, yes, and it's fine, it's her birthday. She's excited about this new show. She's all she talked about for Thursday, and I was like, "I can't call her," and go, "I knew it." - I love it, though, it's my birthday. I get to watch my show on two televisions. - Just do whatever the hell she wants on her birthday. So I was, so reluctantly, I don't know on this stupid shit. I don't know, excuse my language, but on Voodoo, 'cause it was like $4.99 to rent or $5 to own, and I was like, "I guess I own Salem's Lot now." - Let's go on it, it's not even like a VHS copy. I'm so sorry. - No, no. Wow, there's two things on display here. One of them is that you are a dedicated partner. You want her to have the best birthday possible, and the other is a psychopath who rents the movie that's already on a free service, he has. - Yeah, and you coined the phrase "Birthday." - Yeah, I love his pronunciation of "Birthday." - Yeah, "Birthday." - I just wanted to-- - I didn't create that. - I didn't create that. - I didn't create that. I'm just repeating it. - Yeah, I want everyone to do it, so I'm with you. I don't want everyone else to do this. - You say it's my birthday. - What? - It's your birthday, too. - It's your birthday, too. - Yeah, we know, we know the deal. They also kept showing full moons, including the cover. I don't, that has shit all to do with vampires. - I'm Fred Willard. - Why are they showing full moons? That's not a vampire thing. - They talk about it a little bit. It's like, "Oh, there's sources of evil." And it's like, they talked about the different evils, and I'm like, "Oh, is he gonna rotate these out? "Is it gonna be witches one week? "Is it gonna be vampires? "I don't remember any of that in the book." - I do think it's appropriate, though. I realize it's not specific to vampirism, but it definitely added something. I wasn't offended, but the full moon-- - I have more power in full moons, according to the thing I just made up. - No, they just made up. (laughing) - I love that you gave it a citation, like if it's a source. - That's great. - According to the thing I just made up, I'm still getting a threat from right now. - I think it would actually be weaker because the light coming off the moon is reflection of the sunlight. - Right. - Oh, wow. - That's an interesting point. - But, you know, mirrors don't affect them, so why would the sun reflecting off a moon? - Wow. - This is interesting. - It's like this is a big old bag of trouble. - Yeah. - It's like a big old bag of made up shit. - We can mold to whatever fits our fictional storyline. - Vampire screenplays are a lot like zombie screenplays. You mold the, this, you know, why they are, what they are around your own personal vision, and I think King has his own ideas here, so. - You figure out your story, and then you pick and choose like a Chinese menu, some from column A, some from column B, whichever pieces of vampire lore fit your storyline make it easier to tell the story you want to tell, and just kind of ignore the other, like the inviting a vampire into your house, which is one that I just love. I love that being a part of vampire lore. - Oh, yeah. - You have to be invited, yeah, that whole thing. - Yeah. - I like that. - That's part of the last boys, I think, is the realization that they just screwed themselves by inviting the guy in. - Oh, yeah. - I like the revocation of the invite. I'm like, "Ooh, can you do that?" - Yeah, that's what I want to know, can you? Can you just say, "I hear my--" - I didn't even have invited him here anymore. - Yeah, you can't go to my house anymore, and the vampire goes, "Ooh!" - Yeah, I like that all you really have to do is touch them with a crucifix, and it doesn't even need to be a consecrated crucifix. It can just be two popsicle sticks that you strapped together. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And you touch them with it, and they die and vanish. That is a great thing to know. - Your cool Aurora models, doesn't anybody else have Aurora models as a kid? They're called Northern Lights models now, like a company name, but they had like that Wolfman one that Danny's working at on his desk is like, "I saw that thing." I'm like, "Oh my God, I had that one!" - Oh, these, I forgot all about these. This was that all kind of shit, yeah. - This is great. - That kid's room was my life, because he also had the chemistry set with all the numbered bottles and stuff. I was like, "Ooh, I used to have that "when I used to make chemicals." - Yeah, I had the King Kong one. Oh, here it is, I had this. Hold on, let me show you guys this. So I had the King Kong one that I thought was amazing. When I was a kid, 'cause I was really into the 70s King Kong, and this wasn't even like based on the 70s King Kong. - Look at the nipples on that thing. - Yeah. (laughing) - It's almost like this was, I mean, this is a whole generations version of 3D printing in a way. I mean, as far as like the fandom around it, like, "Oh, I gotta build the latest model." - Yeah. - They put the whole-- - I gotta get high on the glue. - Mine was cars and planes, right? I was just doing a-- - You were doing cars and planes, yeah. - But, but, man, when he's in his bedroom and dad comes in, and he's like, "Good job." I had those removable handcuffs, loved that. (laughing) And when he says, "I can get out of any knot," I was just like, "Check offs gone." - Yep. - I called it in that moment. - Oh, absolutely, it was definitely a very heavy-handed foreshadowing moment. But boy, how pissed off were you at that dad? Like, "Why do you think you're gonna grow out of this, enjoying yourself with things you find entertaining?" - Perfect. Then the kid-- - Perfect. - 'Cause that's how we all felt. - He'd finished his homework an hour earlier. He's got great grades, he's a good kid. He's not in trouble. - Sorry, Dad, I used to-- Oh, go out and do drugs with the other kids. Would you like that? - Yeah. - Is that better? - Freaking prick. That dad pissed me on. - But that was effective. That was perfect. - I mean, that's exactly what they were trying to do, exactly. So our reaction is dead on, but, man, what a pud. - It's a total pud. - That's too bad. - Oh, there's a batman, one of these. Sorry, you put me on a rabbit hole. - Yeah, it had that batman one too, and that thing was really cool, 'cause he's like swinging around a tree, it's great. - Oh, that's so good. It's like the '60s batman era looking dude. - The '60s, yep, exactly. - In fact, it looks like, what's his name? - Adam West. - Adam West, yeah. - It does look like Adam West, yeah. - You even have a good little crotch fold going on there. - Crotch fold. (laughing) - That knuckle is bat knuckle, exactly. - Don't worry, old chum. I'll keep the knuckle. - The bat logo's a little low on the chest for my, I think it should be center chest, not upper abs. - Yeah, okay, so if I only had one other issue with this movie, in a film sack perspective, is that nothing grossed me out. It was all pretty standard to me. - Yeah, I was looking for something like gross yet. - It wasn't even like people doing something gross outside of vampires, like just, I thought maybe Fred Willard running around and Silky underwear would be grosser than it was. It was fine, it was just the guy in his underwear. - Yeah, there's nothing in my grossie. - How hairy Fred Willard was, how about that? - Yeah, you know what, that's pretty gross. If I had to stand too close to him, yeah, I wouldn't like that. - Right. - I don't know what that says about me, I don't like hearing that. - Don't stand close so close to Fred. (laughing) - I think we get a glimpse of the small of his back. I just kinda grossed it. - Yeah, I was pretty gross. - Oh yeah. - He's got a nice little growth patch down there. - Exactly, it's like, we know where that hair's going. - Yeah. - Maybe just the overall, there's a kind of a wood panel, 70s, smelled everything, maybe that's it. Maybe it's just like the era. And when you're a kid, really young, I remember everything just being musty. - Yeah. - I get a lot of that out of it. So maybe that grossed me out, but not in a way that I'm gonna play the club. - I was grossed out by Starskin Hutch's come on, like when she was this, the arctic lady's just laying in the park trying to do her little artwork and he's all like-- - That was creepy. - Creepin' up. - Yeah. - Hey, baby. - That was a red flag. - My book. - Recognize me. (laughing) - That was a red flag, especially. - You should take better care of my book. (laughing) - Right. - Yeah, it really threw me when I first saw her 'cause I know her, I know her, I know her and I hadn't opened up yet. - Yeah. - And it was driving me nuts and I finally looked it up and I went, ow, she's freakin' John McLean. It's Holly McLean. - Yeah. - Genaro for a while or whatever. Holly Genaro. - What else here? I wrote, the vampire used the three Stooges technology to kill parents in the kitchen. (laughing) - Bonk. - Bonk. - I know we talked about that already, let's see. - I wrote, I wrote that clock's got a big dong. So like, there's a scene where you see-- (laughing) - Yeah, that's great. - The clock, like the watchtower or the clock tower. Save the clock tower, lookin' thing with this huge, long clanker, whatever they call that thing that goes back and forth. - Blackers, that's great. - The thing that goes back and forth, yeah, like in the grandfather clock that goes back and forth, but this is just on the side of a building. - The Colin Pendulum? I'm thinking of something else. - Pendulum, yeah, Pendulum is good. - Is that it? - Grandfather clock Pendulum. - We need to watch too, the Pendulum. - Ooh, I don't even know what that is. - Is that a movie? I know obviously based on the Pendulum by-- - That's what, yeah, the Pit and the Pendulum, yeah. - The Pit, Pendulum, I shortened it just like, it's a Jerusalem's lot to Salem's lot. Yeah, why not? - I've seen this, the big blade that cuts the lady. - Yeah. - The Pit and the Pendulum is a base, I didn't know it was based on the actual Poe thing, but I guess it is, would be, wouldn't it? Vincent Price, Barbara Steele, oh, yeah, dude. - Oh, she's a steal, how'd she get cut? - What? Turns out she, that name is a little misleading. Turns out, not so steal, are we? - Let's see, I also wrote here, ooh, where'd it go? Here it is, George A. Romero was originally attached to direct. - Oh, yeah, right. - They ended up changing it because, let's see, Werner Herzog's Nosferatu, the vampire in '79, also almost got Werner the deal. - I want to have more vampires. - She'd say. (laughing) - Show me the baby. (laughing) - I want to see the kid wrapped in plastic. Romero dropped out and, let's see, he said, he's just feeling like he wouldn't be able to make it in the way he wanted to because there's two new restrictions at the network, he wanted to get gross. - I don't do TV. (laughing) - That's really what it is. - I want to do it. - And then there's another one that says, the first television mini series and second film to be released based on Stephen King's writings. I guess the second, first film would have been Carrie, right? I think, and we've done Carrie. - Yeah. - We're all gonna laugh at you. - Definitely, it was before, but yeah. But you say the first television adaptation or just-- - Oh right, sorry, first television mini, any series is this, and then this was also made into a film and it makes it the second film. - The second film, okay, gotcha. Which is interesting 'cause it's second book, so it's rare that book adaptations come in the order that the author wrote them in. - Oh, good point, yeah, Carrie was first on that, yeah. Here's, I just want to play that line. - They're all gonna laugh at you. - Classic. (laughing) Classic. - Love you. - Any other thoughts about this three hour monstrosity before we play slips and things? - Just that I expected to end and say, oh, well, they could've edited a lot out of that. Like, they must've been going for a runtime. And when I actually got to the end, I thought, I mean, sure, I could've tightened it up a bit. I could've stood for it to be tightened up a bit. But I enjoyed the sense of unease that some of the long drawn out spaces gave. - Yeah, I was surprised by that, same, I agree. - Wasn't it surprising 'cause you just thought, I thought I was in for a real slog, I really did. I just thought it was gonna be, oh, this is thinking so long. And I'm not saying that this automatically means all three hour movies are great for Film Sack. It's not what I meant. - Not a movie, miniseries. - Miniseries, but-- - And we gotta, I'm sorry, I have to put my foot down. This is just a three hour movie. There's nothing, there's no reason to call it a miniseries. - But it was aired in two chunks and two weeks apart, and you gotta give it, you know? - Yeah, and I mean, all the cut two to commercials were really, some of them were very disruptive. - Yes, and I think most of those were the freezing zooms, look, we're the, all right, we'll continue with Salem's Lot after this one for president. - Oh my gosh, you can totally hear it. - I did like the intro credits and stuff, and how the-- - Oh, the work we-- - Yeah, that's pretty cool. - Yeah, that stuff is very, I mean, if I was, I never saw this as a kid, but had I, I think it would have freaked me the F out. - Oh yeah, yeah, very effective. - Yeah, I think it would have worked for the time, and funny how it holds up, I don't know, like I'm not here to tell you it's our best movie we've ever seen, or in many series. I'm trying to get-- - You wanna call it? - But it's definitely not a piece of shit. It's a, it's better than that, and you know. - The daughters of Satan was half as long and felt long. - Yeah. - Like, how is that possible? - Yeah, totally right, had more boobs, though. What was that? - Oh yeah, yeah, but still, not enough. - Not enough, not enough boobs, yeah. - How many boobs is enough, though, of not a way? How many? How many boobs? - Seven, whoa, more than that. - That's only three girls, and someone with a problem. - I'd say, that's an odd number of boobs. - It's the, hey, Barge, guess how many boobs I saw today? 13! Or maybe it's the girl from Total Recall, she showed up, made up. - There you go, yeah, just one of her. - Yeah, it's not minus, we're going plus here. All right, well, let's do some clips. I've got a bunch lined up that have been chosen very carefully through the watching of this film. And we'll start with this one, where a kind of lady gets around, lady tells you how nice the house is. - It's real nice. - No, it isn't. - It's real nice. - No, it's garbage, it's a terrible house. (laughing) And then this guy confirms. - Very tasteful, very tasteful. - Yeah, very, very tasteful. (laughing) First thing you ask when you get a rented space. - How do I get breakfast? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Very good question. - It is, that's the first thing I ask when Tina and I go on a trip, it's the first thing I want to know. - I guess we'll do this on TMS, but I'm excited to hear about your, I hate parades, but that parade you showed us is a parade I would go to. - Oh, really, why do you hate parades? - I hate them, I don't know. Normal parades, right, with just floats, that kind of thing. - Watching bands going by and-- - Oh man, there's always a group. There's always hate America, right, don't you? - I must hate America. - Go to a parade to find out that there's this club of horse owners, they're all ride horses, and you didn't even know that they were in your neighborhood. - Yeah, I think it's just standing there when I would do it the most, it was with fussy kids, and when I was a kid I couldn't see over people. I just have not great memories of any parades, but what that looked like a blast, like-- - Yeah, that was so fun. It was great. There were two whole sections of Ecto ones, like there was first batch of like six of them that went by, and everybody in Ghostbusters, Garb going, hey audience, what are you gonna call? Oh no, you need you to say it louder. And then they passed, and then we had a bunch of like fire trucks and ambulance and things like that, and then a whole 'nother section of Ecto ones, like another six or seven. And then I just found out there was a Denver Hearst Association, just a bunch of Hearsts that drove down, like about 12 totally modded out, decoed Hearsts that were really cool. - Something to date people a day. Now let's go on down then, let's head to the parade. - See, I don't know why this is, but if you said Halloween Parade, I'm all in. Sign me up, let's go. You say Christmas Parade, I'm like, eh, I'll stay home much for sure. - Or Thanksgiving Parade. - Yeah. - You know, I would like to go once to the Thanksgiving Parade, but I'd like to do it the way Jerry did it, up in an apartment looking down on it. - Oh, I like that. - And actually on the ground, you just watched that episode last night, didn't you? - No, this is the first time in a while where you didn't match when I watched it. (laughing) I think it's not last week though, so it's not too far off. We always have it on, so. - Yeah, all right, this file's called When I Like To Pooh. I don't remember what I was doing, so here it is. - Morning's only, and I don't recommend it. - No, all right, I don't remember what that was. All right, I could listen to this talk all day. - Yeah, Eva married this fella called Weasel Phillips. Then there's a Heron's leg. Smell like his gunk, never made a decent living. Nobody could figure out why. - Love that kind of talk. - Nobody could figure out why. - That's some of the small town main king dialogue. I just love that stuff. - Getting warmer. - Getting warmer. - That's a weird, homeless guy. What was his name? - Yeah. - Pecker or something, what was it? Not Pecker. - Jasper or something? - Something like that. - Pecker. - Whatever it was. (laughing) - Pecker. - Brian, Eva had found an opposite of an Ernest Borgnine clip, so. - Oh, okay. - You like this? - Wanna make 50 bucks? - Instead of. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And the other guy should have said, "You got 50 bucks?" And I like that, and then you like that. - Sure, yeah, that'd have been perfect, yeah. - Them trying to do main accents, and then sort of failing. - You know, you shouldn't leave a truck double pot like this. - Pot. - You wouldn't want me to go all the way to Portland without saying goodbye to Bon. - Question, Portland. - Try to make a pickup. - And then they would say Portland, and then they'd say Portland, and then it was all over the place. They couldn't quite get that stuff down. It's fine, though. Whisper to me. - You just get over here, and all whisper things in your curly little ear that'll make your hair stand up. - What does that mean? Your curly little ear? It just means they have folds of your ear shape. - I guess. - Yeah, I didn't like that. Let's see what you say to your cat. - Stay right there, Puss. - All right. (laughing) That's a weird thing to call your wife. - It is, yeah. - This is just called Larry? What was I doing here? All right, whatever this is, here it is. - Daddy Larry, don't move, don't move! - Daddy Larry? Oh, steady Larry. - Daddy Larry, don't move, don't move, don't move, Larry. - I don't even know what part of the movie I'm listening to. - With this shotgun. - With this face. - Oh, gotcha. - That hole. - Daddy Larry. - And then he shut the door and you got to hear this fully work. (screaming) Yeah, that's pretty good. - Oh, yeah. - Glass. Oh, this is, I hate this sound even now. (dramatic music) - I can't do so. Anyone else go crazy with that? 'Cause I can't do it. I just can't, I hearing that right now. - It's on a chalkboard trying to think. - Yeah, that makes me want to get up and run out of the house. I hate that sound so much. Some people are fine with it. Like people rub in balloons, drive some people crazy. I don't mind those at all. Rub balloon all day. (growling) I've farted sand you make with a balloon. Not a problem. It's this. I have whatever your misophobia thing, phobia thing, and I have that with that. - So. - How do you feel about like you're coming back from dinner and each of you are bringing home some leftovers from the restaurant and it's in two separate styrofoam containers and in the bag on the floor as you drive, you're going over bumps and those two styrofoam containers are rubbing against each other. Any problems? - Drives my wife crazy, does not bother me at all. - Yeah, doesn't drive me crazy but I have people who like just makes the hair on their arms. - Yeah, it's so weird now. We're all, we all react different to that stuff. All right, here's a dad talking about his boar. I think this is Mr. Glick. - He's a healthy boar. He's athletic, he's a normal boy. - Yeah, he's a normal boy. - He's a normal boy. - He's a normal boy. Lost in the way he was, the way he says the end of this, listen to this, real careful. - He's a healthy boy. - Boy, he's a healthy boy. - All right, let's see. Great threat fixed toilet, what? I don't know what I wrote last night, but here it is. - Ned Tibbetts was around here today, fixing a toilet and threatening to fix you. - Oh, okay. - No. - I'll fix you like a fixed toilet with a wax ring. - Yeah. - I love her delivery. - She's great. - Like she gets like three lines and that is just, it's beautiful to listen to. - Found out she's from here somewhere, somewhere close to me and she grew up here. - She's also very nice when it comes to people calling it 4 a.m. (laughing) She's like, oh, there's a phone call for you. It's 4 a.m. Why don't you get that? - He seemed more put out and right exactly. - She had to go get it, you know what I am. - She had to go get it, yeah. - She's a very nice renter lady. All right, are you on something? - Are you on something? - Yeah, I'm on something. We heard this earlier, but this is what he was upset about. - Found my dog, Dad. - He's dead. - And dead. - What was his name, Lucky? No, what was his name? - No, the dog was Mark Marston. - Marston? - No, no, the dog wasn't Marcy called him. He kept calling his name. It was like-- - The dog-- - Man's testing. - What was it? - It was some trivia about the dog. Last time you see him being under-- - Here we go. - By the way, disturbing. - Yeah. - While the killing of Mike Ryerson's dog has never explained the tombstone above it says Marston. This implies-- - Oh, no, that-- - Oh, that he was just-- - Faithful. - I still-- - Faithful is the dog's name. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Baseball. - I misread the trivia. - That's all right. That's right, he was yelling Faithful, which is a weird thing to name your dog. All dogs are Faithful dogs. You don't have to name them Faithful. - I had to turn on the clothes caption for that little tidbit. - Yeah. - But your puss is totally not Faithful. - Oh, 100%. Your puss will do what your puss will do. (laughing) - Stay puss. (laughing) - All right, here is how now somebody ever asks you to define the character, the fantastic four leader and character named Reed Richards. This is how you define him, okay? - He's the things bodyguard, he prepares the way. - Yeah, that's how you define him. (laughing) - All right. - I'm going a long way for that one. All right, there is your clips and that means-- (screaming) For the checklist. (dramatic music) - Everyone you ever saw in the '70s on TV, check. Starsky and John McLean have shared that lady's lips, check. And I meant hutch because I keep confusing them. - Right, right. - And then finally, never let grandpa walk you down the hall with an animal horns at the end of it. Oh my gosh. - Oh, geez. Whoo. - That was rough. - Everybody, we all saw that coming. - Yeah. - So is there a established, I don't think the book did any of this, but is there any kind of out there lore about vampires where you're familiar can have super strength 'cause they definitely lean into that. - I'm a stupid fool. - Because he's old, right? - Well, Renfield does too, right? Like, Dracula gives him just enough imbues him with some power and then gives him just enough blood from small bugs and insects and small animals to give him a subset of his powers. So that goes all the way back to a braam stoker lore. - So that's an OG thing, like an old-- - It's OG, yeah, you're familiar. You get to give your familiar some power so he can protect you. - And you have a long life 'cause you want him around for a long time and all that. - Right. - But you need him too much, day walker. - And you need him to guard you every single day because you're sleeping during the day. - Exactly. And to put narrative wells in shirtless narrative wells and vehicles and make it look like an accident. - Yeah, yeah. - And take care of the UPS package with a kid or whatever was going on there. - Oh man, you wrapped it up nice. - They did, that book gets real dark with that where the kids disappear. It's real, it's like, I remember the time going, man, I'm used to adults dying in your horror movies and novels, but this, gee, he's the wheezes. All right, let's get on to the Star Trek connections. I know at least one, but Randy, you've probably got more. - My gosh, these folks were all over the original series. (laughing) This was the original series reunion, this movie. So we have David Sol, who played Ben Mirrors in this movie. He was Makora in the episode "The Apple" and again, all original series. - Very young. - Elisha Cook Jr. played Weasel in this movie and played Samuel Cogley in the episode "Quart Marshall" of Star Trek. Julie Cobb played Boom Boom Bonnie in this movie and played Yeoman Thompson in the original series episode any other name. Reggie Nalder played "The Vampire" in this movie and was "Shrass" in the episode "Journey to Babel." - Oh, here's Shrass. - But here's our big winner of the week. If we ever see her again, this is gonna be our big winner. Barbara Babcock, who played June Petrie, you know, mom in this movie, she was in six episodes of the original series as all different characters. She's the Jeffrey Combs of the original series. - Oh, no. - Her episodes were "The Squire of Gothos," "A Taste of Armageddon," "Assignment Earth," "The Tholian Web," "Plato's Stepchildren," and "The Lights of Zetar." - Wow, that's pretty good. I forgot to mention, too, that we haven't talked about it at all, 'cause it wasn't in this very long, but Bonnie Bartlett's in this. And you know her from everything. She was in "Better Call Saul," recently. She was in "V," "St. Elsewhere," "79 episodes of "St. Elsewhere," working with that other guy, "Parks and Rec," most recently, this sort of thing. Anyway, we know her a bit 'cause we just watched "Firefly" again, and she was, what was her name in that? She was the old lady that ran the town that they-- - Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. - You know what I'm talking about? - Yeah. - I could've sworn she was in "Star Trek," 'cause she's in like Stargate, she's in like a bunch of sci-fi stuff, a little bits and pieces. I could've sworn she was in "Star Trek," but I guess she's not one of them. That's the one I thought was in it, so shows what I know. - She was patience. - Yeah. - Oh, in "Firefly," right? Yeah, she was great in that. Just kind of a trusty old lady with a shotgun. - Trusty old lady with a shotgun. - Yeah, she was really good on, let's see, "The Better Call Saul" rolls her last one in 2017. She played Helen in a single episode, but I remember it being memorable. She was very good. Well, there you go. Let's get on now to the soundtrack. Great, to give it an MB for "Not Bad for the Era." Thought it was fine. They went orchestrated, which I think helped. And it was all right. - Yeah, it was okay. - Yeah, it was right for what it was trying to do. I didn't, like there was never a time when I was like, I was bracing for orchestra swells going into commercial breaks, but now they didn't do that. It was totally straight. - Yeah, we're good, I thought. Then the social media post thing swings around and it's a thing, we do here. Here's what happens. - There's a ugly head. - Yeah, that's right. Each of you have these 280 characters, which are just like fake, whatever, we're giving them to you. And you can fill in whatever you wanna say within the limits of 280 characters. And for those at home, that's like an A or a one or a B or whatever letter or number you'd like to have for your character. - Space is absolutely count against your characters, unfortunately. - Okay, all right. - So just know that getting into it is I start this week completely randomly with Randy. - Salem's lot, a pretty good flick with some scarier parts, especially those with steaks, hammers and hearts. Still, it needed some comic relief. Like Matt Berry showing off Lazlo's erotic topiary. (laughing) - That's pretty good. - I've been next by the devil. - All right, you're making me wanna go watch that show. All this talk about vampires. - Lazlo's coming this month, right, the final season. Lazlo's erotic topiary is one of the most surprising things I've ever seen in my life. Like when that suddenly is happening on the screen for the first time for you, it is a moment that you should remember the rest of your life. - Yeah. - Do you think on set when he does anything for any show, they just say, let him say dumb shit, we don't care 'cause we don't care. We're gonna keep it open. - I don't want to ever see Matt Berry get interviewed ever again 'cause I don't feel like he is as into it as I am into him being into it. - Yeah, it's kind of quiet about it, isn't he? He's weirdly like introverted in his interviews and it throws you 'cause otherwise he's so Jackie Daytona real bartender, human or whatever. Like he's so over the top and then he's interviewed and he's like, yes, I very much enjoy working on the show you're talking about. - It's very weird. - He's a very weird character. - Yeah, I just love him. All right, let's get now to Brian Dunaway and his 280 characters sum up. - Salem's Lot, which is short for Jerusalem's Lot, which is something I just learned. Day, but still, no witches in this movie. Hashtag bring me on many serious amount of beers. - Yep. (laughing) - Nice, nicely done. - Brian, if it take us home. - 262 characters, Salem's Lot. The process by which vampires propagate involves a complex bio-alchemical transference of empiric essence. This begins when the vampire utilizing specialized representation evolved for precision piercing initiates an ex-sanguination process drawing blood while simultaneously introducing a unique cocktail of anticoagulants and necroenzymes via their saliva. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. When you said vampires and their geometric progression, I thought you wanted to get all sciencey. - Oh, I kinda did. - You're trying to progress shouldn't. I thought that was hilarious. That was one of my favorite parts. - Geometric progression. - Yeah, yeah. - It was also the shampoo commercial. You'll tell two friends and the no tell two friends. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I played bass for them in the '90s. They were great band. - Geometric progression. - Yeah, oh yeah. - That'd be a prog rock band, right? - Hell yeah, that's all they would do. Some covers, but whatever. All right, that is it for that. Let's move on to the alternate titles. These were just handed to me. This is definitely a piece of paper and autobaga chips. All right, definitely not chips. Let's see here. - Any more anyway. - It was almost called Star Ski and Munch. (laughing) - I'm talking about bam bam bam bam. - Or interview with a very late into the second episode vampire. (laughing) - He rarely showed up. The only complaint he had in the trivia is that his character barely showed up and this thing, lots of stuff got cut. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Unfortunately, Barlow needs more screen time. Moving on to our texts. We got a couple of them this week and I'm gonna start with this one for Film Sack. Oh, you know what? I left off, there's a call we have to play. Here it is. I forgot to write it down, but we have to play this call. It came in, so done away, this is directed at you. All right? - Uh oh. - But in a way, it's directed at all of us and you'll understand why it's actually really great. So, and it's one of our favorite callers when it recalls and we all have to listen to what this guy says. So anyway, here it is. I'll just let it happen. - Film Sack. Hey, can we throw the spotlight on to done away really quick? 'Cause I just wanna say when this dude cracks an egg, it's an omelet, but it's not just any omelet, it is an omelet with a special gummy bear. And when he takes that gummy bear, dude, you're in for a ride and I am sold on the done away trade because he's always taking up for the little guy and he always balances the conversation at any time that there's a disagreement as long as it doesn't involve water. I just think that's how we should all be. So thanks, dude. Randy, thanks for being a Jordan to my fifth. Thanks for being a fifth of my Jordan. I got something cooking. All right, I'm minding my last one then. You guys are awesome. Stay cool. - I love this one. - It's so good. - I want whatever weed strain he's into. - Yeah, yeah. I want the gummy, I want all of it in my body. - Yeah, exactly. - That was amazing. We agree. Dunaway's the perfect ingredient on the phone. Everyone loves Dunaway. - Yeah, you gotta stand up for a little guy. - We're all on the Dunaway train. - That's right. - You gotta draw the line somewhere with water. Come on. - That's right. - I am definitely the Jordan to your Piven. - Yeah, I didn't understand that, it was weird. - I'm definitely the Jordan. - Whatever else. - You might. - I think you meant Pippin, right? Like Scotty Pippin? - Oh, maybe Pippin. - The Michael Jordan to your Scotty Pippin? - That might have been Pippin. - I heard Pippin as well, but that. - I heard Pippin, so I was thinking, wait, entourage or something? - Jeremy Pippin? Yeah, I know, I don't know. - Seven, seven, seven. - We are gonna need another call from you, dude. - Yeah. - I would like to know more. Like, what did you think of Michael Jordan? I thought he was a little bit overrated. - Oh. - I'm gonna get you a little more. - I sent you emails to Randy Jordan. - I sent you email.com. - I mean, I'm just saying, it was a shooting percentage. I was a kid with Michael Jordan posters on my wall and I watched these games. And the guy, you know, he had a pretty low shooting percentage. - I think he's still the, I mean, he's the goat though. - Right. - Greatest of all, he's gotta be. I know LeBron's awesome, and so is Kobe. There's a bunch of players who should, you know, are all in the ring, but I'm telling you, it's Lord Jordan, man. - I mean, LeBron is the goat, and you always have to count Shaquille O'Neal because he completely changed the game. Like, completely, but I mean, Jordan is definitely top five along with like Kareem and Magic, like top five. - You know, I love about Shaq. He, one of his sons came to him and says, "Dad, I have this amazing shoe company idea, and I want you to invest in it." And he said, "Go to school, get a business degree, then come to me." Like, made him do four years of college and get, understand business and all that before he'd even talk about investing in his stupid shoe company. And then we'll talk, and I think he ended up doing it, but I just, I'd love that guy. He's great. - Yeah. - He also makes the best faces when he gets a hot wing on that job. (laughing) Like by far, the best faces. - I need to get up to LA and see the Lakers this year. This is a... - You should get in there. - A thing like, it's their, you know, the LeBron isn't forever. And... - Yeah, if you believe the talk, it might be his last. So you should go. Get in there. One, so here are a couple of texts as well. These also came to that same number, 801-47-1462. This one is from Alex and Savannah, who says, "Hey, this is for film Shaq. Is the dark man layer and the place where Robocop cop got shot up, the same set? I didn't realize how much my childhood was based on this movie. I was afraid of getting my fingers cut off by a cigar cutter and that bird pecking at the lighter for the explosion. Keep up the show, guys. I tried to find out if it was the same warehouse space and I couldn't find anything that confirmed it, but he's not wrong. There's a real vibe there. - He feels like that Detroit kind of a band and warehouse kind of feeling. So, yeah. - We talked about how Michael Bay used the same empty building and like five different things. - Right. - And the same, the same B-roll footage. - Yeah, yeah. - Or even A-roll footage. - That's seen on the freeway. - Straight-up lifted from his previous film. It's hard to get too mad because it's like, well, it's his movie, I guess. So it's okay. - Yeah, exactly. And had you not seen it before? It fit right into the movies. So, you know. - It was just missing a transformer in the background or whatever. - Missed my transformer. - Missed your transformer. I'm gonna make burgers with my brother. All right, here's this text. Just watch the movie "Passengers" in 2016 with a quick Google search. I don't think you've watched it yet and that's true. We haven't. It is a great film sack movie, sci-fi, dramatic, ridiculous and fun. When I finished watching it, I wanted to know what y'all thought streaming on Prime, starring Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt. I think the only way I'll see that one is, again, is probably with you guys. Because it's a huge disappointment for what I thought it was going to be originally. And it ends terribly. And it's perfect for us. So we probably should. - Among movie watchers, like people on TikTok who only talk about movies, "Passengers" is a big discourse. It's been going on for years. People wanna always dig into the story decisions of passengers. And so I've always been kind of holding it off. I need to get away from that. I need some time, because I really wanna talk to you guys about this movie. And it feels like everybody's talking about this movie for some reason. It's on our long-term list. - I just remember loving the bartender role from the robot bartender played by Michael Sheen. - Yeah, who wasn't it? Michael Sheen, right, yeah. - Just memorable as hell, really good. And then after watching David here, or not David, but Aileen Covenant here recently, the scene at the end where the girl realizes that Walter is no longer Walter, they do the same thing. - Yes, you get the pod. - They do the same scene in passengers. Same damn thing happens. But except her realization is that he's brought her out so that she's gonna die now. Or whatever the reveal was, he's a dick or whatever. It's a weird movie. Passengers deserves to be picked apart, so maybe we do get it on her. - I agree, and I don't know if any of us would fall on the defending Chris Pratt side, but it sure would be interesting to see if, see what kind of discussion we'd have about it. - Yeah, I mean, I like him generally in his roles. I don't know not on that hate train that everybody else seems to be on, but I think he's fine. Let's see here, that's it for those. 801-47-1462, once again, you can send those there, do a voicemail, or if you'd rather email us, do it the old fashioned way, that's fine too. That's film sack@gmail.com. Quick mention of some patrons here. Actually, one in particular, just joined us this week. His name is Ben Lamb, and that makes me hungry for mutton. Anyway, he joined us this week. Why? Well, he gets no commercials ever. He gets pre-show content every week, monthly special episodes from hosts. We got one coming up from Randy. He's next on the list. - He's right here. - Yeah, a couple days. - Yeah, get in there. - Ooh, exciting. - Hear me, I'm not talking about October movies here. Last two years, I've talked about October movies. - Oh, 'cause it always falls in October. - Yeah, we're talking about it. - Completely different this time, it's, I don't wanna even spoil it. - Oh, that's right, with three of us, do we always end living on the same months? - Yeah, there's four of us, I mean. - Yeah, four of us, and 12 months in a year. - Yeah, we always fall on the same month. - Always gonna have the same months. - That wasn't counting me, I guess. I don't know what I was thinking there. - Oh, I look forward to it, Randy. That's coming up, of course, some movie-related art prints in the mail, other cool stuff you can get. If you just sign up today at patreon.com/filmsack, that's patreon.com/filmsack. Our next movie will be, oh, I have question marks, I didn't write it down, what was it? - Haha, puppet master. - Oh, oh, cool. - This is Halloween, friends. - What year? - Ruaimi? - 1989. This was directed by a guy named David Schmoller in 1989. It stars Paul Amat, William Hickey. - Oh! - And his little ears. - And his little ears. - It's the first of-- - You ask for it. - You got it. - You got it. - Toyota. - Toyota. - The series was a big collection at Blockbuster. A whole bunch of these. - That blessing. - Hold on, there was a bunch of puppet masters. - Let's see. - Like the mall puppet master, yes. - Oh, yeah. - Okay, I have no familiarity with the series at all. I don't know it. Also, this is 20 years after the movie we just saw, or the mini series. Anyway, watch for that, puppet master. - 10 years after the one we saw. - Oh, I'm sorry, 10. Boy, that's a big difference in 10 years, isn't it? - Yeah, it is. - 79 to 89, massive difference. 99 to 09, not that big a deal. - Yeah. - Oh, wait, that's not even right. No, that's right. 99, what's another? (laughing) 20, the scariest thing this Halloween has got smashed. Oh, nine to 19, those things don't feel like massive changes, but 89, 79, what a difference. - Yeah, yeah. - I must have just, 'cause we're older, I don't know what it is. Anyway, filmsac.com is the website to go to to find anything else you might be looking for. That will do it for us. For me, for Brian, for Brian, and for Randy. - Look at me. - We'll see you next time. (dramatic music) - This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Yes, get more at frogpants.com. (dramatic music) - He's a healthy boy. To remind you that 60% of sales on Amazon come from independent sellers, farmer Bob of Princeton Popcorn. - Howdy. - We'll read 60% of this ad. Fire away, Bob. - Small business owners like myself. - Are growing their businesses faster on Amazon. - By getting help with things like shipping. - Shop small business on Amazon. - Especially Princeton Popcorn. Amazon, everyday better. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. 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On this week’s Film Sack podcast, a novelist and a young horror fan attempt to save a small New England town which has been invaded by vampires.
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