I was sitting on the porch After a big old meal Had a little pressure Thought I'd let it squeal But something went wrong Didn't sound quite right Felt a little more than just air take flight Oh Lord, I've farted And it wasn't just a fart What I thought was gas turned into a work of art Now I'm sitting real still, praying for a breeze Hopping off a porch, shuffling with shaky knees I farted And it wasn't just a fart Who knew dinner would hit this hard I glanced at the doll And he started to bark Even he could tell, this one left a mark I looked at my jeans, and oh what a sight A brown little stain shining in the light Oh Lord, I've farted And it wasn't just a fart My belly did more than play its heart Now I'm walking sideways, looking for some wipes We're getting that ex-clagant beans and rice I farted And it wasn't just a fart Live in the MCG studios Located in the undershaft of Florida But popular in Ghana, welcome to the Potluck Podcast So come join us and have some fun Well hello hello and welcome to the Potluck Podcast Yes, that was Al Harmonix with more than a fart Yes, classy, we are so classy here on our Potluck Podcast Yes, and we have so much fun and believe it or not folks This is our 230th live episode We've been doing this 5 years, half a decade What? Yes, a half a decade Wednesday nights Before we even knew Podbean existed We've been doing this Yes, so we're just here having fun Let you know that we've been here a long time Hello mama bear Hello Eric, yes, we've got lots of things to do That we normally do And as we normally do, we start things off With a little historical background of what happened On this very day in history Because it's November 13th people Yes, the 317th day in our Gregorian calendar Not too many people know that But on this very day in history In 1887 it was Bloody Sunday Yeah, it wasn't always Wednesday I don't even know what I'm saying But Bloody Sunday in case you didn't know In 1887 it was a march of 10,000 people in London Led by socialists and anarchist groups And it was finally suppressed by police Resulting in a deaths of three people That happened, it was called Bloody Sunday In 1956 the US Supreme Court declared Alabama and Montgomery Alabama's law requiring the segregated buses to be unconstitutional Ending the Montgomery bus boycott His story right there And if you watch Forrest Gump, it happened right then and there With him on the bus Hey, in 1970 240 kilometers an hour Cyclone, it's about 150 miles per hour Cyclone struck the densely populated Ganges Delta in Bangladesh Killing an estimated 500,000 people What? Yes Wow! Speaking of killing In 1974 Ronald DeFeo Jr. He had killed six members of his family In a town called Amityville, Long Island, New York In an event that inspired what was to be Come, the Amityville Horror Yes, and it all started on this very day in 1974 In 1985 I'm sorry, in 1982 the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Was dedicated in Washington DC Yes, that happened And also the Filey Lander, part of the European Space Agency's Rosetta Mission Became the very first spacecraft to land on a comet That happened in 2014 We got birthdays in the house Whoopi Goldberg has a birthday today Gary Marshall would have had a birthday Jim Piersall Would have had a birthday today Art Garfunkel, yes, wow, there's a name we haven't heard a long time Art Garfunkel has a birthday today Sam Wireson and Chris Noth of Law and Order Both had birthdays today Tracy Morgan, yay, the man myth of legend Also Ayesha Tyler, who still looks awesome Ayesha Tyler has a birthday today Holidays, we got holidays, ha ha, blah blah blah blah Dream Destination Day Yes, everywhere and everybody wants to go somewhere For their dream destination Well, today's the day to plan it out and get out there Yes, and why you're still free to go and roam about Before the new wall gets put up Yes, and policies happen and traps everyone within the borders But anyway, today's the day to start making plans to try something new And go somewhere that you've always wanted to go and be On dream destination day, it's happening right now It's also World Kindness Day That's, believe it or not, to people on the internet Who came up with World Kindness Day It's good Yeah, that's funny World Kindness Day, they actually put in parentheses international You think if it's World Kindness It would be globally involved and international But they had to come up with parentheses And they had to put international on there behind it You see, what it is, World Kindness Day You've got to smile, smile at strangers, smile at everybody Compliment a co-worker Today is that day where you can make someone happy and delightful Just by being courteous to others On World Kindness Day Speaking of kindness, it's also National Hug the Musician Day Although I prefer mouth hugs, I always love a good hug Yes, right An awful lot goes into being a musician Not everyone is aware of how much goes into it Or the sacrifices musicians have to make In order to make or create the sound that can manipulate the feelings of others Thank you for those hugs Yes So go and hug a musician today Because it's National Hug the Musician Day Thank you so much for those hugs It's National, well, it's Sadie Hawkins Day Yes, it's a day where women become the stalkers and pursuers of their crushes And can feel free to ask their infatuations out for a change Without any consequences Who knows? You might get the hug a musician I don't know It's World Orphans Day, of course they put in parentheses international It's also a National Indian Pudding Day If you like Indian Pudding It's National, so they have parentheses, United States I don't get it People are weird It's also National Young Readers Day But only if they're non-banded Books, of course, and the websites found on Mattel's Wicked Products Uh, yeah So when are we going out with... Well, okay, there you go So, Mama Bear is asking Bob a question as we are going to go With Mama Bear and Bob what's happening people? Eric's with us Tofo Minga Riga Yes, welcome Welcome to the show We got all kinds of stuff happening Oh, Bob Dammit, somewhere around there South Oz Man, welcome to the show We got all kinds of goodies happening today I don't know if anyone heard about the Wicked Products going on With Mattel Because Mattel just got They got the rights to the Wicked Witches stuff going on And on their packaging They had, I guess, they had to make an apology On what they had on their packages I guess they had, instead of Wicked the movie .com They put Wicked .com And for their, I guess, they're like Barbie dolls But not, I guess they're dolls for the Wicked Witches And so they said, you know, for more information Go to Wicked .com And now you can pose those Wicked dolls in the positions That you find on Wicked .com Yes I don't know where Bob Dammit is I'm just listening to you struggle It's just, I'm laughing Thank you, thanks Bob I figured you had more to say about the Wicked Because you actually told me about it Letting you talk Letting you go It's like I appreciate it I appreciate it You just gonna keep talking? Yeah, let's just like I don't know, I didn't know where you were I just listening I'm just letting you keep talking Letting you But anyway, Mama Bear asked you out, dude What are you gonna do? Oh, I'm driving the Canada Oh, well, you know We need a road trip We do, because it's The weather is changing I don't know if you've noticed, but the humidity There are planes, yes The humidity is going away It's wreaking havoc on my sinuses Oh, you need a nostrilizer I need something, I feel like Shit But I don't feel like crap I just feel less than 100% Yes, it is much warmer Here than there, yes It was like 90 degrees today Yeah, it sucks It was only 90 degrees today In Florida Yeah, I washed my car this weekend I was like, I'm done Fuck this, I'm going back inside It was so brutal It's like Thanksgiving Well, no, it's not Thanksgiving That's been erased It doesn't exist anymore What doesn't exist? Thanksgiving Why doesn't it? Halloween day after Halloween is Christmas season Now we've got the Christmas stuff up at the mall Santa Claus was here last weekend They've got the fireworks going It's Christmas That's Christmas It's Christmas Forget it Wow, hold on a second, let's see if I have Is Thanksgiving next week or is it the weekend? Thanksgiving is next week, man No, it's next week It's 28 or something It's next week It's the 13th, dude It's the 13th? What? It's Turkey Day is next week I'm pretty sure Hold on a second, let me look at my calendar Thanksgiving 2024 Into the Googleizer November 28, dude Okay, cool, I'm a week off Yeah, you're a week off, I'm like, shit, I gotta Thank God Gotta come up with a pie Fuck That's right, next week Next week is the 20th No, we've got a week to go Oh, good Next week is the 20th See, I really hurt my back recently So I have like Again? I'm three weeks You got better and then you hurt me Well, I got better, but, I mean, last week I still was This is my first week back to work Oh, okay This week is my first week back to work And it's freaking havoc on my back again No, no, I was still You need to find an office job You're right, I do You do Where I can just be an office man Manager And just, yeah, I did that already I don't know, like that It's boring It's, well, it's boring It reminds me of this Why do you play this? I love it This is like the third week in a row you're playing it I love it, it's great stuff It's nice There, there, there, there No, no, it's very not good taste That's true, though Yes, it's absolutely true Did you ever see the video for it? Yeah As little kids jumping around They are slaves No, no, no, no, no Thank you Steve It's about slavery, that's not good Oh, come on It's not good It's funny It's funny He's thanking them for their service Yeah He is, he's thanking him for their service Yeah Yes Give them a round of applause You want to back check back? No You back check it Oh, my goodness So, so Have you heard the latest news? You know, I probably didn't Well You're naked No, I'm not naked Oh, okay Well, I am Matt Matt Who's a legend for me? Matt Gates has been selected for Attorney General Okay And the man who's under like Ethics investigations has been selected for Attorney General But that's not funny enough You know that's going to happen Well, he has to pass confirmation And considering how many people Congress hate him But that's not the best thing Okay That's not the best thing Vivek Ramaswamy And your buddy Elon Musk Yes We're selected to Be co-directors of the department of government efficiency Yes Which doesn't exist No So if there's a department for efficiency Which doesn't exist, they have two people in charge Yes, something that doesn't exist That's right That doesn't sound very efficient Date [laughter] Wait a minute [laughter] That's great Let's create a whole department of nothing Create something out of nothing Yes, so we're welcome to show That's not efficient That's not efficient That's not efficient Wow, welcome to the show That's like Wow Yeah, you know That's uh It's just self It's ironic Yeah, it's the department of redundancy department [laughter] But it's efficient It's going to be efficient It's going to be efficient Because they have two people in charge Yes They're double efficient At twice the cost Which didn't exist before Because they don't exist Which Yes Do you welcome people into the show? No, that's okay I'll be the co-host Welcome in, Ziller I said, "Ziller, hey, how you doing?" [laughter] Steve, Steve, Steve That's right And Logan came out And I had to mute And then I had the earbuds Oh Steve has three monitors I said You know, Val's here, South Ozman I have an iPad I have an iPad That I can't see behind my microphone Steve, I'm just trying to be funny You know what I'm saying Oh, you are? Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean Yeah, we're going to go back to that box Okay [laughter] Hi, Bob Hello I'm not sure what's going on You know I'll tell you, I'll tell you My headset's falling off my ears You need to get a grip, dude What do you mean? You're all just shuffled My headset's not adjusted And it's sliding off my ears Oh, just it No, I [laughter] It's okay It's drama [laughter] I'm going to fix it, fix that headset Damn it [laughter] I know, I have the same problem, though Mine's actually falling apart And I get little black things all over my If I don't shave And I'll get like little black pieces of my From the headset? Yeah, because it's old It's all good and new pair I bought you a new set I bought you a new professional set But I still have You're not wearing the good ones I wear them I wear them I just have earbuds Because those, Steve, you can get Replacement ear cushions Oh, there you go That's a good thing I would like to get Replacement ear cushions So is that what's falling apart on them? Yes, probably Oh, it's flaky Yeah, it's probably getting flaky It's all flaked out, man Speaking of flaky How you doing, mama berry? Oh-ho! Oh! What? Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob? Bob? What? I'm not kidding. I'm not talking to you anymore. Okay, okay. Bye then. What? That's not right. Oh my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Zillard, I'm not kidding. I'm not talking to you anymore. Okay, okay. Bye then. What? What? That's not right. Oh my goodness. Zillard's on the phone and he hasn't said it. Zillard. I was just waiting. That's what I was doing early. I'm still waiting. What's up, buddy? Oh, nothing odd. How is this waiting for? When you guys were talking about me flucking headphones. Oh! Well, yeah. You know, when you get in a good set of headphones, you got to take care of them. So what's new, Zillard? Oh, talking about, um, power of luck. I was thinking about you guys because I was watching fucking Spongebob. I was like, it must be the power of luck day. Okay. Oh, this is Spongebob. If I was that damn bored to watch a fucking Spongebob, all fucking damn day, I was like, damn, something good's going to happen tonight. Oh, yeah. Well, something good always happens. You know, we've been doing, I've been doing this for five years. It's a night. Five years. I need a life. Five years. Get out. Touch the grass, Steve. Touch the grass. You know, I got to tell you. Go see people. And, you know, we weren't the original hosts of this show, believe it or not. And, and we just kind of jacked it. No, it was kind of abandoned. Yeah. Yeah. It was abandoned and I took over and, uh, and it's been that way pretty much, you know, last four years. Where did he go? Yeah. Okay. And he won't let me leave. What's that guys? Yeah. I was here when the first people were here. Oh, yeah. Yeah. With, with Pat and Mike. Yep. That was cool. Five, five years ago. That was before. Before COVID. Yes. It was before COVID. That was before COVID. And, um, things were different. Things were a lot different. You actually, I was talking to Pat today. And, uh, we were reminiscing on some of the shows. Um, and, uh, cause. Well, there were several shows where we just were, uh, intoxicated. No. And, and, uh, we just, we, I couldn't read. And we started laughing about it. And it was a, it was. Groundhog's day. Five years ago or four years ago. And I, I, I wrote this big thing how all the different kinds of groundhogs were bickering and arguing and who's the better groundhog. And I, I, I wrote this whole big, funny thing, newscast. I couldn't read it. I was too wasted. And they all started laughing at me. And I don't know. That was reminiscing on that. Yeah. So I sometimes that's the best time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, tomorrow I'll be, I'll be totally wasted. I'll have five gallons of eggnog in my stomach. Yay. Five gallons. Five gallons. That'll make you puke. I can't drink that much eggnog. It's like drinking five gallons of milk. You can't drink one gallon of milk. Have you ever seen the milk challenge where they try to chug a gallon of milk? I think Ziller should videotape himself chugging five gallons of eggnog. That's a lot. That's one of those Home Depot orange buckets for it. It is. That's a lot. I don't get why you do that. You got to videotape that, man. Yeah. Videotape that. You got to send it to us. Send us the link. It's actually, I'll get, I'll get Momberg to come to my Discord. I'll just, I'll just show, I'll save it. Awesome. That would be fantastic. We, we, we have to see that, man. That's like epic. That's like, that's epic, epic material. I love eggnog. Me too. I am. But this is, you can have it. You can have all of it. You can have all of it. Well, the, the, the, the cool thing about this is that, um, this person's going to try eggnog for the first time and she'd never heard of eggnog in her damn life. I'm like, oh, yeah. I'm like, we're going to the grocery store tomorrow to get some fucking eggnog. Yeah. Oh, fuck that. Okay. Wow. Well. Yeah. What is in an egg dog? That's the thing. Maybe I, because I don't know what's in it. That's right. Seriously? It's like, it's like, how do you make, okay, Steve. How do you make it? I don't know how to make it. I just, uh, I just had rum. I, I, I had rum. I know there's, uh, yeah. I had rum. Just buy it. It's just buy it and add rum. It's like a thick. It's like. I've got whiskey in mine, so I get drunk as fuck. Okay. The ingredients for eggnog is six large egg yolks. Okay. Half a cup of granulated sugar, one cup of heavy whipping cream, two cups of milk, a half a teaspoon of ground nutmeg, pinch of salt, one quarter teaspoon of vanilla extract, ground cinnamon for topping, alcohol, optional, but not optional. You know, so yeah, six large egg yolks. Hmm. Oh, you do, you do cook it over medium high heat. So you're not, you know, drinking raw eggs. Okay. Right. Right. You have to, you have to cook it and then. Stir often until mixture reaches a bear simmer. And you temper the eggs and let it cool down. And yeah, it's all thick and stuff. I like cookie dough. Yeah. Cookie dough. That's, that's poor Puerto Rican coconut egg nog. Oh. Yeah. That's, that's, that's awesome. And, and the cookie dough. I think you should make some this year. I should. Well, it takes like a month to make it. Well, you got a head start on Christmas. All right. Well, let me see. You have an extra week until Thanksgiving now. Let's see. Well, I heard it's like, um, I heard it takes like a month to make it or three months. I'm not sure. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to like, I don't know that milk. Make a head and strong tips. It's three. Oh, it only take. Okay. Up to three days to make it. Okay. All right. Yeah. All right. Remind me not to try. It's probably right. Why is it? Why is it? Why is it? Why is it? Why is it lumpy? Why is it? It took me. It took me three weeks to make it. No, three days. You have to steep the spices. The cream of coconut evaporated milk, coconut milk, vanilla cinnamon sticks and nutmeg. All the ingredients except the rum in a large saucepan. So it's coconut milk instead of egg yolks. Right. All right. All right. Yeah. So coquito coquito. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. That leads me up to this. Okay. Yeah. It's this or that people. I'm going to give you a choice of two things. What? Okay. Do you like ice cream or sherbert? Come on, man. That's the two you're getting tonight. Ice cream or sherbert. What's sherbert yogurt? Oh, no. Sherbert. The Japanese restaurant. I'm a bear. Nothing gave you at the end. Huh? It's like ice milk. Kind of. It's not ice fruit. Yeah. It's like it's not ice. Yeah. It's like ice. But, but soft icy. See. Okay. So I don't have that here. I don't know what that is. So I'm going to go with ice cream. Oh, okay. Yeah. Definitely ice cream. Ice cream. Everyone's taking ice cream. Yeah. No. Your grandma likes sherbert. That's a stop they give you like to cleanse the palate. Have some. That's a sherbert. Yeah. Like at the end of a meal or something. Yeah. They get like a little, a little Dixie cup of sherbert. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. They give me that at the Japanese restaurant too. Really? Yeah. Well. Yeah. At the bigger restaurant. Um, show guns. Like something like that. That's in a little time dessert. Yeah. But they have vegan ice cream. Eric. Oh, yeah. No. No. What do vegans do for Thanksgiving? They eat Tofurky. I don't know. I just. Tofurky. I just. Baby, they just have beans, rice and vegetables. George, welcome to the show. Kojo, welcome to the show. This or that is ice cream or sherbert. You let us know. Tofu Turkey. You're saying Tofu Turkey. Yeah. For Thanksgiving. It's a thing. Tofurky.com. Tofurky.com. It's like a. It looks like a football. Okay. I don't know. And it's not stopping in the middle. Tofurky. Tofurky. Plant-based holiday feast is the thing. Yeah. Tofurky. You know what I mean? I mean the turkey. Well, I'm making the turkey, but I'm having guests over. And I think one of them might be a vegetarian. So I don't know what. I want to make sure that everyone is accommodated. And so I'm not sure of their eating habits. So I'm going to make sure. Can you find out? Yeah. I've been. I've been. I'm just waiting for a response. They're like you with texts. You don't know if they're going to respond or not. Well. If you want to go into B for the week, we can talk about that. Oh. Oh. We don't want to go into B for the week. Okay. I did. I didn't know. All right. Well, there'll be for the week. I might be for the week. Bob's got to be folks. You do this. I do this. You do this. Oh. What's up? Daniel does this as well. What do I do? You hit send after every freaking sentence when you text me. Yes, but, but it's like it's like a machine gun. Bing. Bing. Bing. It's like get enough. What? Okay. If you write, you type something and send and then you type something and send it. You type something and send it and type something and send it and type something and send it. Well, there. Sorry for you, but why? Okay. Well, I, there's a reason for this. What's that? The reason for that is because when I put all my thoughts into one big, long thing, you say, "It's too long for my car to read it." Right. And so you don't-- Oh, wow. Are you driving? I get it. Bing. Well, then stop. When you're done, when you stop the car, then read it all. No, he won't. Just send one thing and be done. Oh, my God. But then you got mad at me for sending me to one thing. I don't need a book. I don't need a book. But it's a story. Just send us to me. I mean, I'm with Bob on this one. What do you need a whole damn book when you're texting? Well, a lot of times it's not a whole book. I mean, if something happens, like, most of the time, it's a scenario where one thing happens and I'll type it in, "Oh, my God, this happened." And all of a sudden something else happened right after that. I'm like, "Holy shit." And I get to play by play. And it's a play by play. And it's a play by play. And it's a play by play. And it's like, "Oh, God." You're that important in his life, Bob. He won't-- Yes. He just wants-- he's a tension star. I am. That's me. That was me. That was me. Now listen to me. So I'm going to text Bob machine guns. That's it. That's right. That's it. That's how it is. Winning. I'm by myself. I thought you should know that. All right. So any other takers for this or that, Ice Cream or Sherbert and Bob's Beef of the Week is sending multiple texts back to back-- Sending multiple texts back and forth for us. So there you go. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb because that thing drives me fucking crazy. I just don't even look at it. I hear you turn the beeper off and I'll go blink, blink, blink. And I'll read it like two hours later. And I'll be like, "Oh." Then I'll respond. That's exactly what I do. I'm like, "Fuck it." I don't want to hear it. Yeah. So. All right. So there you go. Any other beef folks? Anybody else have something up? Up their butt that you want to get off their chest. [laughter] What's up? Come on. What's up? [laughter] What's up your butt to get it off your chest? [laughter] Nothing. [laughter] That was the chance. I don't have anything right now. Oh, okay. That I can think of. Oh, man. I'm ready for the damn crazy people in fucking Florida shit. Oh, well. We're here. We're on the show. We're the crazy guys. Not you. Oh. Like naked people running in the damn. Oh, that's later on. We'll do that. We'll do that second half of the show. Oh, no. That's Steve. Steve said he was naked already. That's right. I'm Florida man tonight. I'm like, I'm picky pig in it. I'm porky pig in it. Yeah. So we're having a good time tonight. Oh, yeah. And we got, Bob, do you have sound bites tonight? Um, I can do the no words. No words. Oh, yeah. I remember that. No words. No words. Okay. All right. Well, we'll do no word sound bites tonight. Okay. Well, speaking of no words, let's do this. What the fuck is that noise? It's what's that noise, people? Yes. What's that noise? All right. I'm going to play a sound and you have to tell me what it is. What is this? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. And if nobody knew that, I don't want to talk to you. There you go. All right. Bagpipes is happening. Yes. That's bagpipes. I love them. Yes. All right. That was quick. All right. Okay. She said. I guess so. I'm sorry. All right. Next one. What's this noise? No, two stroke. Your mom's vibrator. Oh, my God. Oh, an electric razor? No. That's a weed whacker. It looks like it sounds like a weed whacker. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. It's the leaf blower thing. Yes. It's a leaf blower. Buffer board. No, it's not a buffer board. It has a buffer board. Things are so annoying. Oh. It's leaf blowers. Oh, yeah. Gas power leaf blower. It's the battery ones or something. Yep. Yep. All right. So we're going to do another one here. Bump, bump, bump, bump. All right. Last one. Here we go. Airpoint. A lander. Close. You're close. Close. Nice maker. Nope. Damn it. You're funny, George. Sewing machine. It is not. Look at that thing. Bob, you should know this. It's not a can opener. Sorry. Oh, a coffee grinder. Coffee grinder. Yes. There you go. Mama Bear got it. That's okay, Bob. I'll do other work. Go right ahead. Oh, it's busting Bob day. Wow. Remember? He was mean to you earlier. Remember? He was mean to you, but poor Bob. Oh, what? You poor me? Oh. I'm ready for the damn sound and shit. I'm ready for the what he called. The music one. The music one. Yeah, that's at the top of the hour. It's the top of the hour, man. I know. All right. Well, while while you're here waiting, we could do something crazy. We'll just do it. Well, while you're here, we'll do this right here and right now. You ready? Ready? Get set. We'll do it right here and right now. It's yin and yang, folks. No, it's yin and yang. The Ziller wants to play some games. We're going to play some games. Yin and yang, folks. This is what we're doing. We're going to play some opposites, basically. I'm going to do. I'm going to give you. What's that? We say hot. Yeah. Yeah. So please say hot. We'll see what happens. We'll see if it comes up, all right? We're going to do opposites. And since Ziller wants to go, he's going to go first. He wants to play some games. You have to give as many as you can in 15 seconds. All right. So you ready, Ziller? Mm-hmm. All right. I'm going to say it as fast as I can. And take a deep breath in three, two, one, go. Big. So old. Cold. Simple. Simple. Clean. Nasty fuck. Dirty. Malabear's dick. What's near? Bear. Bear. Wow. What the fuck, bro? I'm going to give you four. Give me something in there. Give you four. Malabear. Malabear. Are you ready? I'm sorry, but for the record, I don't have a penis. Oh, okay. Thank you. I think we know that. Okay. Thank you. Well, welcome to the show. We're in the middle of Yin and Yang. If you want to play, give us a call. Yin and Yang, it's opposites. It's just opposites. And it's Malabear's turn. As many as you can get in 15 seconds, you have to beat four. Are you ready? Yeah. All right. Let's go. In three, two, one. Yes. No. Up. Down. In. Out. Left. Right. Forward. Backwards. High. Low. Full. Empty. Heavy. Light. Bright. What just happened? What are you talking about, Bob? You said a word and she said something completely different. It didn't line up at all. What word? What word? What word, Bob? Yeah. No. All right. No. I'm not feeling well. All right. Oh. Sorry, Bob. If you would have been nice to me earlier, maybe I would have taken care of you. Oh. All right, Bob. You ready, buddy? Yes. Through a stuffy nose. Here we go. Okay. Through a stuffy nose. Take a deep breath. Welcome to the show. We're doing yin and yang. If you want to play, give us a call. It's opposites. If you had as many as you can in 15 seconds, Bob's got to beat Mama Barrett. He's got to beat 10. Oh, shit. Wow. Are you ready? Go. In three, two, one. Up. Down. Out. In. Left. Right. High. Low. Heavy. Light. Bright. Dim. Rough. Smooth. Fast. Slow. Long. Short. Deep. Shower. Ooh. Eleven! Shower. Take a second. I can see. Uh-uh. Wait, wait. No. It went mad as I was saying it, so I always give the last one to go. So I did it for you. And so I gave it Bob. Bob got eleven. You counted ten? No. It was eleven. I'm using my fingers. And I used one toe. All eleven of them. I used all and a toe. I had ten fingers. I had eight fingers, two thumbs and a toe. You got your toes? Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You got your toes. No. So after being stuck on another finger, you cut your toes? It's entertainment, my man. Entertainment. Hold on a second. Hold on a second. You just saw it. So you take off your socks and then count a big toe afterwards? Yes, I took my sock off during this whole thing and it happened. That's it. You don't want to know how he reaches twenty-one. That's my nose. That's my other nose. Oh, damn. Hey, you could call in. Anyone who wants to call in, you can beat eleven. You better believe I'm going to be coming here every fucking Wednesday for this bullshit. Please do. Please do. You better believe. Because we're getting more and more people to come in and we love it. We love it and we're getting. You know, after so many times, oh, and those who've just tuned in tonight's, this or that, is ice cream or sherberts. You let us know what your favorite is and we tally it up at the end of the show. Last week was apple cider or pumpkin spice latte, apple cider one. Yeah. Week before that was haunted house or corn maze and the haunted house is one tenfold. So there you go. You got to realize me and mom are friends. We don't want to give a shit. Absolutely. Absolutely. All right. Any other takers? That's it. That's it. So that was it for getting yang. Bob, you're the winner. Yeah. Bob's the winner for tonight's. Momma bear one. Oh, he won by a toe. What? Oh, my goodness. Let's go. He won by a toe. So let's go. Oh, my goodness. Who would have thunk it? Oh, my goodness. Oh, man. Now you're making me rhyme. Oh, my goodness. All right. We got we got things. We do things here on this show. It was just, you know, I do. We do have something here. It is Bob's favorite time of the month. Yes, time in the month. It's fine. Yes, I don't know. It's time at the time of the night where Bob, we do the best. Yes. It's the best country song titles of all time. Bob's favorite game, folks. And this is what we're doing right here and right now. And we have special songs for tonight. And. I just don't know what in the world just happened. I don't know. All right. I'm going to basically what the best country song titles, I'm going to give some crazy song titles and you have to decide which song title is the actual real song. And, and this is Bob's favorite game because he absolutely hates country music. So. I went Bob then. Yeah. And speaking of country songs, I have a country song at the end of the night, which I'll play. It's called Don't Tell Me How to Wipe My Ass. And that's how we'll end the show off. Damn. And it's classic. Yes. Did you hear that one already, Bob? No. Oh, no. I can tell just from the title. Okay. All right. So I'm going to give you two country song titles. You have to decide which one is the real one. Here's your first one. This is my dirt. Yes. That's the night. That's the title. This is my dirt. Next one. My land. My truck. And my mama's home cooking. Hmm. That sounds good. Sounds like a good song. So which one is it folks? Is it this is my dirt? Or is it my land? My truck. And my mama's home cooking. I'm going to say it's dirt. I want to say two. You say two? My land. My truck. And my mama's home cooking. I'm going with the truck. The truck. The truck. Yep. And Ziller's going with dirt. All right. All right, folks. I'm going to do the drum roll, please. Any other takers you have. We can do this. Get it in while you have the drum roll. Ladies and gentlemen, this is brand new music from Justin Moore. This is my dirt. These are my wheels. Wear out hard to swallow. I planned that a little part. I catch bluegill. I put that bar with my two hands. I raise my babies. I'm already dead. That's real fun. It's a real song. I take all the praise. Brand new for Justin Moore. This is my dirt. This is my dirt. This is my dirt. He literally just sang about whatever he saw out of his back window. Exactly. This is my dirt. Brand new music. You know, I was pumping gas. And the video came on. A little TV screen. And I'm like, this is a good song. Don't get me wrong. It isn't actually a good song. No, it's not. But it fit all the criteria. It fit all the criteria for the best country song titles of all time. I see my truck. I see my tree. There's my dog taking a pee. It's not hard. I sit on my couch. I'm taking a pee. I sit on a couch. I'm drinking Pepsi. I don't get a shit about no damn ass country song. I listen to my little bear. Oh, my. They're not listening to you. It's now this damn dirt watching it grow. Okay. Well, all right. We got some more. We got some more songs. We got some more songs. Don't worry about it. All right. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Okay. I got two here. Let's do it. Her only bad habit is me. Or I'm dynamite at fishing when I fish with dynamite. Oh, that's a too hard one. So which one is it, folks? Her only bad habit is me. Or I'm dynamite at fishing when I fish with dynamite. I'm going to say number one. Yeah. That is like a country song. Yeah. It does. Yeah. I agree. All right. Let's do the drum roll. Here it is. Everyone's picking number one. All right, folks. This is a little bit of George Strait for you. Oh, I like George Strait. Why she loves me. I don't know. I can show you'll be a hard way to go. Say good, Bob. But I'm right. He's stepping on his nuts. You got it, guys. Yes, her only bad habit. Yeah. George Strait. He's good. He's good. Yeah. He is so Bob. He's not holding you. I think he's terrible. It's a Hall of Fame, Bob. Hall of Fame. Well, one of the best country song titles writers. I think he sucks. Hey, Bob, what do you like? Not this. No, I mean, what genre do you like? I like it very loud. Okay, yeah. You're like me. Yeah. Okay. All right. Last one, folks. Last one. Here we go. My heart's as broke as my new high heel. I'm sure if you bought new shoes and you just broke, I'm sure that you get pissed off. All right. Here's the next one. I bought the shoes that just walked out on me. Now, can we know if it's a woman or a guy? I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that. I can't tell you that. If there was a woman, I can tell you exactly. I don't think it can possibly be the first one because country men don't wear pants. They do. They wear daisy dukes and high heels. Sure, they do. Yeah. You've never been to a country, salt and country concert? No. No, I haven't. Do you ever watch Duke's Hazard? Yeah. Come on. I don't think it's the first one. It's there for the second. Yeah. I'm going to say the first one. I'm going to go with Bob. The second one? Yeah. All right. So we got a split decision of someone on here. I said number one as well. So my heart's as broke as my new high heel or I bought the shoes that just walked out on me. So welcome to the show. We're in the middle of the best country song titles of all time. And we're going to do the drums. Drum roll, please. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, this is win Stewart. Win Stewart. Enjoy. Yes, I bought the shoes that just walked out the door. To tell the rain on the hand that way goodbye to everyone. And I bought the lipstick on the lips that vaguely set me free. And I bought the shoes that just walked out on me. There you go, man. The best country song titles of all time, folks. Yes. Yes. Yes, Bob. What's that, Mom? I guess that one. Oh, both Bob and Ziller got that one. Yes. You never heard of win Stewart? Oh, that's classic stuff. I haven't. Classic stuff. Horrible. Classic going back going back to the 70s on that one, I think. Yeah, me and Bob are just guessing the fuck out of this. I wonder why she walked out on him. He's so, so much fun and can't stand why anybody would ever leave such a. I can't believe I got it. It's amazing. I got all of these right. Well, congratulations. Yes. Congratulations. Oh, yes. It's one of the best country song titles of all time. It's great stuff. Great stuff, folks. I have fun playing these games. It's therapy for the soul, people. It's therapy for the soul. Having fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like. Yeah, it's almost eight o'clock, too. This is like perfect timing for, like, for everything to, like, filter out and get into the feel for the sound bites that are about to happen. Instrumental sound bites. It's going to be great stuff, great stuff, people. And Bob's getting all set up for it, ready to go, because I know he has to turn on his machine. I'm ready. Oh, he's ready to go. Yeah. Nice. Here we go. Take it away, Bob. All right. No words. No words. You got to tell me who it is. With no words. No words. Can you check your email while he does that? Steve? I can. Oh, that's some. Axel. Nope. No. Oh. Oh. Michael Jackson. Nope. No. Can I just say Bob Barker for the fuck of it? Say Bob Barker if you want to. You're close. I know. You know. Is it the same guy who did Axel laugh? No. Herbie Hancock. Herbie Hancock with Rocket. Oh, my gosh. Herbie Hancock. Now here we go, Steve. This next one you're going to know. I thought that was Axel laugh. Oh. Herbie Angel. No, it's not Herbie Angel. I do know this. I spoke with this man several times. Oh. Well, then what do I own this song? It's one of the very most classic guitar solos. Oh, give me a hint. I do know it. It's not Hawaiian music. Oh, my gosh. No. Actually, the guy's... He's... He's neither one or with us now. So I know Frank. What Frank passed away a couple years ago. What is it, Steve? It's Sleepwalk. Yes. Sleepwalk. Yes. And who is it? You know? Well, that's Santos and Johnny. Santos and Johnny. Very good. Johnny Farina used to be on one of... I used to produce a show... called "Gusty Oldie." And they would do all these songs. And Johnny Farina and him were really good friends. And he would call him to the show. And... Yeah. So it was a really cool dude. He was awesome. So here's the next one. Here you go, Steve. You were waiting for this. Oh, am I? Oh, I know this. Another one too. Yes. It's the theme song for... cops. It's Axel F. It's Axel F. Yes, but really... Is that what it's called? It's called Axel F by Harold Faltermeyer. I never knew what that was called. It's called Axel F. Yes, Axel F. I just didn't know what the fuck it was. That's awesome. I love it. Classic stuff. Classic stuff. Here's one of my favorites. Oh, heck yeah. This is, this is, this is good stuff right here. My grandma killed the shit. This is music. They also did the theme to Hawaii 5.0. That would be the ventures. That is the ventures. And this song is... It is... Not Wipeout. No, no, that's not, no, not Wipeout. This is the, it would be... Pipeline. Pipeline, yes. Pipeline, surfing. It's all surfing music. Yes. Now I gave this one to you two weeks ago. So if you remember... Okay, two weeks ago. I am not going to, I'm not going to say this because this, you guys should know this one. It was only two weeks ago. What happened two weeks? You elect them. No. That was last week. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I saw this night. Tell them we, how were we two weeks ago? I saw him do this. It's on my album. We can go stop her. Yes. The total story about it. It's Frankenstein. Frankenstein. You can find it at Edgar Winter Band. Now, if you are a fan of the family guy... Oh. Oh. I know this. He's a recurring character on the family guy. Who is the character on the family guy of this song? Is it the chicken guy? Why are you guys lying? No, he plays himself. Oh. I thought he died. He's not dead. It's from the family guy. It's from the family guy. No. Adam West is gone. He's gone. I made her Ferguson instead, Steve. This is not made of Ferguson. Huh. No, no. I don't know. I thought, I thought Herb Albert was at past. Herb Albert is dead. Oh, Herb Albert's alive. Maybe he's alive. I don't know. But this isn't Herb Albert. Oh, I thought this was Herb Albert. No. This is Chuck Mangione. Oh, Chuck Mangione. That feels so good. Oh, Chuck Mangione. We're going to cut this before it really goes into it. Okay. Didn't I get in a partner family guy? Hmm? I don't know. I was just thinking they got into a fight. I don't know. Oh, my family guy, I think he owned a mattress store or something. Anyway. Yes, exactly. Part of them off you see. Yeah, exactly. Here's one. Here's one everybody should know. Uh, and this is the disco version. Ooh. Ooh, disco. Ha! I have this 45, guys. That's how old I am. I was seven years old when I bought this 45. It is not Superman. Superman. It's not Superman. Whoa. It's Star Wars. Yeah. Let's sing along. Star Wars. Sing along, everybody. Star Wars. The theme to Star Wars. All right. That's the Star Wars theme cantina band by Nico. Music inspired by Star Wars and other galactic funk. Yes. See, now that's going to be stuck in your head all night, George. It's going to be Star Wars. Yes. Now this next one. Yes. This next one is important in American history. Being the only instrumental to be banned on the radio. Oh, wow. What? This is the only instrumental to be banned on the radio because they thought it would lead you when I held the linquency. Kim. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow. And if you have the pulp fiction soundtrack. I don't, is it on the pulp fiction? Yes. Since I thought that was big bail on the pulp fiction. And this is not big bail. No. I forget what this got me on this. I don't know. Oh. Why can't he created distortion for his guitar by poking the speaker with a pencil? That's in the speaker with a pencil to get this. That is, that's, that's genius. That's genius. It is. This is pioneer. This is rumble. Yes. By Link Ray. Link Ray. It was banned because the title of the song rumble was slang for fighting gang fights. Yeah, gang fights. So it got banned from rumble. Can't have our kids listen to that kind of music. Oh, God. Yeah. All the times they are changing. I'm here to fucking Eminem. Yeah. There's times they're changing. Oh. This is not the cream of top gear. What a great song. I can't tell you how many times I've seen this live. Anybody know it? I could do it. Can you name it? I know. I can name it. I know you. It's not Smokey and the Bandits. No. I think George is just messing with me. Ah. I'll give you a clue. It's somebody's name. Smokey Bears. No. No. No. Um, this is the almond brothers, folks. It is the almond brothers. It's the almond brothers. And the name you're looking for is Jessica. Jessica. They used it as the theme for top gear. Oh, really? Yes. All right. Last one. Last one. Everybody should know this because everyone, there's something wrong. Oh, I was the next girlfriend of yours. Sorry. I was just watching a show that they used this every time we had to change the guy's diaper. What was I watching? It's not a new TV. What's that? Is it Van Halen? It is Van Halen. It's what made him famous. Yeah, but I don't know how to get the name. What the fuck? It's what made Van Halen famous. Yeah, that's the name of the song. It's after this, if you want. If you really got me is the song. Is the song after this? Yes. If you have the album or tape or CD or... Hmm. But there is a specific name for this. Give me a hit. Oh. It's not Volcano. It's not Volcano. What do they do? It's eruption folks. There you go. There's no words. No words, sound bites. Fantastic stuff, Bob. I really enjoyed that. I'm glad you all sang along. Yes. George almost had it. Yes, he did. He almost said it out loud. Yes. He was too busy singing. He was. He was too busy singing all the words to all of those sound plays. Fantastic stuff, Bob. Fantastic. Thank you so much for putting that together, man. That was just... Hell, you know. You knew the songs. That's the important thing. You heard them before. You just might not have known the actual titles of them. Yeah. I knew like half of them better than last time ago. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. So... Alright. That was good stuff, man. Good stuff. Sound bites. Fun stuff, folks. You know what we didn't do? Holy crap. I totally forgot. What do you do? How can you forget? I forgot. I'm getting carried on you. Oh, no. I know. Bullshit! I'm playing a bullshit! We haven't done any bullshit. Well, that's bullshit, though. Shit. Basically, we're going to find a truth and not the bullshit. I'm going to give you two different stories and you have to decide which one is the truth and which one is bullshit and here we go. Here's two stories. Number one. Austrian driver. A loud, pasta-farian headgear photo. Yes, a member of the satirical religion, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, demanded and won the right to wear a pasta strainer as his ID photo. Okay. All right. Number two. German serial sexual marries Count Chocula in a strange ceremony that is in no way legally sanctioned. A German man married a box of Count Chocula as performance art. So which one is it? Is it the Australian driver allowed to wear pasta-farian headgear for his ID photo or the German serial sexual who married Count Chocula serial as performance art? I'm going to give him number one. This bullshit. Ah. Mm. George thinks number two. It's number one. Bob says number one. Yes. Yeah. I say number one. You say number one. All right. We're going to do the drum roll folks. Any other takers throw it in there. Ah. The pasta-farian is real folks as reported by the BBC News. Yes. He wore the spaghetti strainer for his driver's license. So there you go. A lot of people did that. Really? Yes. I didn't know that. Most famous one being porn star Asia Carrera. Really? Yes. She wore the strainer on her head for a driver's license. Oh, which pasta-farian. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. Hey. Well, there you go. Oh, even the flying spaghetti monster. Oh. Yeah. Who would have thunk it? Who would have thunk it? Oh, my goodness. I thought I had a different one here. Ah. Shit. Oh, fucking. I can still hear you guys. I'm just going to get another Pepsi. Okay. Oh, I wanted one. It was a Pepsi. And she wouldn't give it to me. Well, all right. We're going to do another one. Here we go. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Find the truth and not the bullshit. I'm going to give you two headlines. Here's your first one. We just discovered another new planet that could host life. While it's too soon to be sure, scientists have discovered an earth-sized planet that could support life just 11 million light years away. Here's the next one. New discovery indicates that the sun might never burn out. Although it's assumed that all stars eventually go nova and die, new research suggests that the sun could be infinitely renewing. The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, gigantic nuclear furnace, where hydrogen is built in the helium at a temperature of millions of degrees. That was beautiful, Bob. Good job, Bob. That was beautiful. Well, that was so descriptive, Bob. That was, that's beautiful. I'm going to save the second one because I know the song. You see the second one? That the sun might never burn out? I'll go with Bob because Bob was so dramatic on the song. So convincing with the song? Yes. Wow. You know? I... Okay. I just never... Bob, that was beautiful. Alright, here we go with the drum roll. We're going to do the drum roll. Sorry, guys. The sun is totally going to blow, but maybe we can escape to the planet described by the state that we found in the, in 2017. So there you go. Great job. Wow. Holy crap. You sent me that picture of Asia Carrera? Yeah, that's the article that you wore the strainer on her head. That's, that's, that's not, that she's ugly. We don't care. She's not, that's not very, that's not a very... Listen, show me somebody who looks good in their driver's license photo. Actually, some people... It's not me. It does not look like the Asia Carrera that I saw when I was in like college. Well, she's not, you know, getting... It's her driver's license. Makeup. Makeup. Yeah. Makeup. Nobody looks good in their driver's license photo. Mom and Bear looks awesome with her license. Damn it. There you go. There it is. How do you know that? Stalker. Yeah. Winning. You're being stalked, Mom and Bear. Her famous line is, "You Baby Now." You Baby Now. And they say it just like that, right, George? You Baby Now. Now! All right, last one, folks. Oh, yes. Bullshit? Oh, not. Bullshit! I'm playing a bullshit! Oh, yes. All right. Last one, folks. Here we go. Oh, I'm going to give you three. Here it is. What is the nutrient in carrots that makes eating a lot of them improve one's night vision? Eyes! Oh, damn. Sorry. Yes. What nutrient in a carrot would make in eating a lot of them improves our ones, what improves one's night vision? Is it vitamin A? Damn it. Vitamin C? Or... Bullshit! Is it bullshit? You let me know. Now it's the vitamin C. Well, we've got A's. We've got C's. And we have bullshit. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. All right, the question is, folks, what is the nutrient in carrots that makes eating a lot of them improve one's night vision? Another fucker, quiet as hell in there. Is it vitamin A? Vitamin C? Or is it... Bullshit! Bullshit! I'm not supposed to say my name is Zeal instead. B-E-R. Okay, Zeal. A mother's day. I said it bullshit. He says bullshit. George says bullshit. South Oz Man says A. Zeal says E. You're C. Vitamin C. What do you say, mama bear? What do you say, mama bear? Oh, by the well. Pa luck. Did you know it? Just for the side note. It also helps with seizures, by the well. Oh, it does. Yeah. Right. I am for my seizures. Wow. Is it to keep you from biting your tongue? Mm-hmm. Keep your eyes kind of like liquid or water. Keep your eyes healthy. Yeah. All right. Well, I'm going to do the drum roll here. Oh, it's good. The question is, what is the nutrient in carrots that makes eating a lot of them improve one's night vision, vitamin A, vitamin C, or? Bullshit. And the drum roll says, oh, mama bear throws in an A. Well, if you said vitamin A... Well, what did you make me say that for? I did make you say it. If you said vitamin C, it is bullshit. Shit. Yes. It is bullshit. Thank you. The connection between carrots and eyesight was created in World War II by the English, who did not want the Germans to know that the accuracy of the RAF was due to the recent invention of radar. So it was a... It was... It was... Bullshit. I'm playing a bullshit. It was bullshit. It was bullshit to get throw off the Germans. So that was it back in World War II, but it just kept going. So there you go. And not my friends would conclude tonight's bullshit or not. Bullshit. I'm playing a bullshit. That was fun stuff. I like stuff like that. Yeah. I blame Oz. You blame Oz? You know what we have not done? A brand new game? Let's do it. Winning. Let's do it. I never have I ever. I think we played this once. I'm not sure if it went over or not, but you just have to let me know if you've never have I ever done this and if you have, you know, we're drinking. Be nice. Be nice, he says. Be nice, he says. All right. You'd be nice. So you'd be nice, mama. All right. Here it is. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Never have I ever been locked out of my house or apartment in only my underwear. Never. You've never done that? No, I haven't. No. I have. I've been locked out of my underwear. Why did you go outside? I went outside to like, I don't forget. It was like to check the mail or something or I think. In your scatting? I think I had a cat. That's why. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I would never blame it on the pussy. I actually got locked out. I had to go through the window. I had to pop open the window to do that. All right. I'm going outside to attack a squirrel and shoot his ass. Then I locked the door by accident. And you were in your underwear? No, I was bare fucking naked. You were a buck. Are you from Florida? No. North Carolina. North Carolina. North Carolina. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys go outside naked as well? No. There's nobody around them. Nobody noticed. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can understand that. I have my own property. Oh, there you go. So you just run around your property naked? Yeah. Pretty much. Oh, okay. Why not? Yeah. I mean, before. I used to do that too before I had neighbors. And now I got neighbors. And so. Do it anyway. You live in Florida. No. No, I can't. No, I can't. All right. We're playing Never Have I Ever. It's maybe just to get to know everybody that's listening and part of the show. And so, just let me know if you have ever, if you've never, ever. Never. Have I ever drunkenly eaten my roommate's food? Never? I can say no because my roommate never had any food. What? I had food. It sounded like he was talking about you. What? What is that? We had food. Never have I ever drunkenly eaten my roommate's food. I can't, can that kind of my wife? I can't guess. I don't know. I still, yeah, I still my wife's three before, yes. I got George Miss George. He's got the hills are alive with a butt as naked man. I'm going to be having that in my head all over the place. Yeah. I'm actually not eating my roommate's food while I was drunk. I know my food has been eaten. All right. Here's another one. Never have I ever passed out with my head in the toilet. Oh, no. Nope. Nope. Never. Nope. Never have I ever passed out my head in the toilet. Oh, thank God. I mean, I think I did because I passed out the bathtub next to the toilet. I was next to the toilet because the floor was cold on my cheek. [laughter] Now, I've had a seizure before and I was about drowned, but no. The toilet? No. I almost jumped in the bathtub. Oh, that's different. That's different. That's why I said never. Oh, okay. All right. All right. Here we go. Last one, folks. Never have I ever had sex with someone whose name I couldn't remember. Oh, definitely. I don't think they remembered my name. [laughter] I don't know. That's like 15 girlfriends. Any other takers? Never have I ever had sex with someone whose name I couldn't remember. So we got a lot of yeses here. Mom over there. Did you say yes? Yeah, I said yes. Oh, okay. I'd ask you their name, but you couldn't remember them. [laughter] See, it was memorable, right? There you go. Must have been one for the books. What was that person's name? I don't remember. Oh, wow. I'm so sad, though. Oh, my goodness. Bob, you're funny. Wow. Wow. How about that? All right. Well, that one concludes tonight's Never Have I Ever. Wow. Winning. That was fun stuff. New game, folks. I like that one. Yeah, that was fun. Oh, yeah. That was new. That was a new one. That's a new game, folks. We do that here. We have new games and new stuff that we do all the time because, I mean, after five years, you'd think we'd do something different, you know? Yeah. Well, I start now. Well, I start now, right? Oh, yes. Wow. Hey, you know what they say? If at first you don't succeed, quit. And maybe skydiving isn't for you. You know, if winners never quit, did you quit while you were ahead? That's true. That's a good one. That's true. Yeah. That's true. You know what? Well, while you're on that, why don't we do some crazy stuff here? It's time for the joke. Yeah, jokes. Yeah, jokes, Bob. Huh? You have jokes? Bob, what would you feel if you ran and won a marathon, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat? Defeat! Ha-ha! Oh, my goodness. Wow. What's that? I updated my laptop. So, like, all the pages I had saved are, like, refreshed. So, everything I had opened and ready is all brand new. Wow. You know, I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected. Wow! Ha-ha! Oh! Oh! Ralph! Hey, what's happening, Ralph? Yay! Ralph, we're in the middle of a joke of the day. People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders. That's the lump. I'm in the middle of an either. You know, blunt pencils are really pointless. That's bad. That's like the one Logan told said. You know, Adam and Eve were the first ones to ignore the apple terms and conditions. Wow! Oh! Bob, you got any more? I don't know. I don't even understand this one. Okay, go ahead. See if we can figure it out. Okay. It says, "Told my Canadian pal, so help me out with this one, Mama Bear." Told my Canadian pal, I got into an argument with my wife. "Why don't you buy her a bouquet?" he asked. I said, "She isn't a big reader." Bouquet? Bouquet? A bouquet? That's good. She get her a bouquet. Oh! You're at it, Ralph. Why don't you get her a bouquet? I've heard that woman before. Oh, you have. Okay. Why don't you get her a bouquet? That's not stupid. Oh, Bob. I said that's a fail. I'm not making any excuses. I said I didn't understand it. Oh my God. If you gave me a hint, you should have said that it says E-H after it, right? No, they spelled it like B-O. Yeah, probably spelled it like a bouquet. Yeah. B-O-U-Q-U-E-T. That's why it's like, I don't understand it. All right. So this dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken?" We're called. I don't get these. What comes after it? What comes after a cow fart? I don't know. Oh, God. Oh, shit. So this Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "Uno, dos, and poof." He disappeared without a trace. Oh, OK, I get that one. George is like, "Boom!" That was a trace. Oh, you just got that. I'm told you, I'm not too on top of things today. So a blind man walked into a bar and a table and a chair and a person next to the chair. It's just kind of, never mind. Well, that was epic fail. You just stopped. No, it's just been going. Oh, wow. What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? Oh, shit. I know this one. Oh, you do? Well, I've already heard this one, so, yes. The letter F, politicians are lying pigs. Oh, there you go. I heard that one, Bob. My wife told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down. A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica, $3.75 in Bermuda, and $3 in the Bahamas. Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean. Oh, that's cute. Oh, my God. I don't know. You know, it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do. Oh, shit. You must play the way I do as well. Yeah, I do. You just throw one in the water and keep walking, right? That's it. You know, my dad, yes, schizophrenia, but he's good people. I'm schizophrenic, and so am I. Never trust Adams people. They make everything up. They make up everything. Yes, yes, they make up everything. I used to be in -- I used to be indecisive, but no, I'm not so sure. And not, my friends. Did you know Russian dolls are so full of themselves? What was I sending you the other day? I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. Yes, yes. We had one of those moments where we were back and forth with stupid shit. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. Yes, yes, yes. And I responded. How did I respond to that? I forget how I responded. I had to scroll back through your mouth. I had to scroll back, too. I used to do the hokey pokey, but turned myself around. I was like, what? Oh, wait. I came back with another one. I'm crazy. Oh, my goodness. I forget because they were so funny. Yeah, I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now. I said nice. I used to be addicted to the chicken dance, but now I think it's foul. Oh, I said, I really like Thanksgiving leftovers. I can't quit cold turkey. That's right. And this is what we do for just for fun. We just, we are like this in real life, people. It's not just a show. This is how we are. We're goofy like this. I admit nothing. Oh, my goodness. That's just how we are. Scrolling back. The recall on butter at Costco. How about that? Oh, I didn't know Costco. Yes, you said seriously. Yeah, I was like, what? I was like nearly 80, 80,000 pounds of butter at Costco have been recalled because they didn't print contains milk. That's stupid. Yes, that's why I was like, seriously, that's just dumb. They didn't have an allergen statement on the butter that it contains milk. Well, that's all going to change anyway. It's all going to change now because this we got. He's going to fix everything. He's going to fix everything. Well, yeah, he's putting a Kennedy involved. He's like, take all that shit off. Well, there's there's been developments in that front. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Man, I was kind of hoping because it would all get goofy and shit. It'll all get goofy. Yeah. And then he'll like give free free. It didn't even last for everybody. It didn't last a week. Didn't even last a week. You guys like, yeah, maybe not. He has brain worms in his brain. Didn't last a week. All right. That'll conclude that. And we got it. We have to do this. Hey, can I tell the Melania? Oh, absolutely. Do the Melania joke, but they asked Melania Trump if she bleached her asshole. She said, no, he spray cans. Oh, my gosh. Okay, that's funny. That is funny. All right. It's, well, it's about that time. Let's do it. The moment everyone's been waiting for. It's Florida man. Yeah, I'm going round the f-place, going round the f-place, going round the f-place. And my friend today. Oh, yeah. We're hanging around on the f-place, on this wind fan of the crowd. Where's the band? I have to say, after five years of having this show, I have not once. No repeated a Florida man headline. Five years. Just keep happening. I'm patting myself on the back for that because that's amazing stuff. You know what? I'm pretty good at that. I don't think I've repeated a lot of things. Maybe we did a couple of this or that. But I think I've been pretty good with not repeating myself with all the games that we play in five years. Yeah, each show is different. I mean, different things. I don't think I've ever... Well, so there you go. But that doesn't conclude the show for tonight. We have a lot of Florida men to deal with. What I'm going to do is I'm going to give you two headlines. You have to decide which headline is the real headline and what actually happened in real life. Right here in Florida. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Here it is. I'm so excited. Alright, here's your first headline. Florida man steals please car. Claims he was quote unquote auditioning for a movie role. Yeah. Here's the next one. Florida man steals please car claiming he was auditioning for a movie role. Or a burglar that wore clear plastic wrap as a disguise to rob a game stop. What the hell? I just fell off the damn couch. Which one is the real one folks? Florida man steals please car claiming he was auditioning for a movie role. Or a burglar that wore clear plastic wrap as a disguise to rob a game stop. I hope the goddess number two. Well, you have to decide. Are you saying number two? Yes. Number two. Okay, Bob? That would make me fall off the couch. I'll go with the stolen cop car for a movie role. Alright. Mama Baron. What do you got then? Two. Number two. Any other takers you could just type it in. Is it the Florida man stealing a police car or the Florida man wearing a clear plastic wrap around his head as a disguise? Alright. Alright. We're going to do the drum roll. George says clear plastic wrap. And if you said clear plastic wrap, you're correct. Yes. A burglary suspect who please called a crafty disguised gents, quote unquote, was captured after he was caught on surveillance video camera wearing clear plastic wrap on his head. Yes. Carrie Hammond, 22 years old, is accused of robbing a game stop in St. Mary's, Georgia. Wow. Wearing a clear plastic bottle or water wrapper as a mask, quote unquote. Did you ever have any thought to what your disguise was going to be when you decided the life craft crime was your bag of water? Well, this guy did. Yes. And he used the plastic bag used to package bottled water and put this meaning to the term waterhead. Yes. That's what the police wrote on Facebook. You can help, you can help us catch him once you stop laughing. Of course you can. It didn't take long for police to track down Hammond since the unique disguise was completely see-through. It did little to hide his identity. And Hammond is charged with burglary and criminal damage to property. And he has been since released on bond after this. Rusty, welcome to the show. We're in the middle of Florida man. Yes. You have to decide which is the true headline. And right there, I was a burglar wearing clear plastic wrap as a disguise to rob a game stop. All right. Keep it things moving. Oh, boy. Here we go. Wow. All right. We're going to be back a few years on this one. Florida man arrested for trying to sneak into McDonald's play place after hours claims he was just trying to quote unquote relive his childhood. What the fuck? Florida man travels to South Carolina to fight Hurricane Florence in nothing but his underwear and an American flag. What? Because it's America people. It's America. Oh, fuck. That's right. Okay. Okay. I'll go number one. Yeah, I'm saying McDonald's because everything happens every time. I saw my neighbor do it the other week. Number one. Everyone says number one. Number one. Florida man arrested for trying to sneak into a McDonald's play place after hours claims he was trying to relive his childhood. Sure. I'm going to leave some of my brain cells on this shit. Or Florida man travels to South Carolina to fight. Hurricane Florence in nothing but his underwear and an American flag. Everyone's still saying number one. Yeah. Number one. All right. We're going to do the drum roll please. Ladies and gentlemen, if you said number one. It was the Florida man who traveled to South Carolina because Hurricane Florence was coming. He was going to fight it. Yes. Seriously, stare down Hurricane Matthew and Irma with nothing but his underwear and an American flag. And he has to do it a third time. Yes. Video shows Lane Pittman in his flowing ginger main posing valently on Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as Florence's wins blew up to 85 miles now around him. I just posted the article. You can actually see. You can see him for yourself on Facebook. He said you are weak, small Florence. Florida man is here people. Rock music was playing in the background as he had more than 119,000 views as Pittman weighs a flag back and forth with the wind blowing through his hair. Audigs ripped off into hinges, blowing into disastrous, disastrous wins. But he remained vigilant, stood firm holding that American flag. The Jacksonville, Florida resident actually launched a GoFundMe page so that he could travel to South Carolina. For his stunt. Yes. Paid for my gas and coffee and I'll go fight Hurricane Florence. Merica baby. Yes. He said that. Merica. Yes. Yes. He said that. We'll stick together. And he said in the description for the fundraiser. Pittman secured his funding in less than an hour. Oh, damn amazing. Yes. Less than an hour. He raised over six hundred and seven dollars. And the initial amount that he saw was only a hundred and fifty dollars for travel. But the daredevil. Hang on. You're in the matrix. Oh, no. Back. Back. Back. You're back. Yes. By accident. Because I want Elon Musk time. Yes. Yes. Yes. All right. Tell me I'm back. Am I back? Yes. All right. The daredevil first made headlines in 2015 when he was charged with breaching the peace after playing a roaches rendition of the national anthem transitioning to into a version of Ted Nugent's stranglehold on the Florida streets. You know, that's actually pretty cool. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. Stranglehold. I did that. So anyway, he hit viral fame twice with his goofy stunts in the previous years, but Florence he clocked 90 mile an hour winds on Thursday and it was downgraded to a category one after he fought it in his underwear. He won. He won. Florida man beat Hurricane Florence in his underwear. Yes, he did. Ha ha. I just want to see this damn guy. Yeah. I just posted the thing so you can actually look at it. I just saw it. I was like, what the hell. All right. That's number two. All right. Well, we got one more folks. Florida man. Here we go. What? Here we go. I just I don't know if I can read this. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, Florida man calls 911 to report his wife is trying to kill him with her quote, unquote, food to vagina. That was hard to read to I just like, yeah. Number two, golf cart driving, Florida man tries to blow up neighbors chickens with homemade whiskey bomb during the dispute over a baby gun. No, I'm already. Nope. We already said vagina. I'm going to go with the second one. No, I'm going for China. It's all vagina, baby. I have to go with the baby. No, it's vagina, baby. Fucking vagina. What are you doing? What are you doing? Gosh. It's all vagina, baby. Amazing. Oh my goodness. Mama bear. What do you think? Pick one. Pick one. Don't let him do you have your own mind. You can pick your own. What do you which? What do you want? One or two? Good to you. All right. Good choices. The choice of route says number two choices are Florida man calls 911 to report. His wife is trying to kill him with her voodoo vagina. Golf cart driving Florida man tries to blow up neighbors chickens with homemade whiskey bomb during a dispute over a baby gun. It's all there. That has everything you could ever want. It does. George is like, just say one, come on man. We have we have a split decision. We have people saying one. We have people saying two. Okay. This is awesome. We're going to do a drum roll. Well, I love you. Thanks for playing. Oh, please to God. A drum roll Wow, if you said Florida man calls 911 to report his life is trying to kill him with her voodoo vagina. No, we were driving Florida man trying to blow up his neighbors chickens, a bomb making equipment seized from Fort Pierce man after explosives detonated in the city. Yes. This happened in Fort Pierce, a man who crafted a bomb inside a whiskey bottle and blew it up in another man's backyard was charged with a crime last Wednesday, Scott Frederick Wagner. Yes, a three person name, 55 of the of Wendell road was charged with possession or discharge of a destructive device and anonymous caller on Wednesday, Warren Wagner had detonated and improv improvised explosive device and was threatening it again. Yes, a caller said Wagner named Nick named spider was in dispute with someone over a theft of a BB gun and had offered to pay a friend to crawl under the man's house to plant an ID. Well, that's that's just either way, both of them are ridiculous. I stole my BB gun and you're going to have you and I'm going to hire you. I'm going to hire you, Ziller, to crawl under his bed, you're under his thing and you put my ID underneath it. Go with the chickens. Go with the chickens. Well, investigators from St. Lucie and Fort Pierce Police Department, as well as the FBI and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, all of these people responded to Wagner's home last Wednesday. They didn't find any bomb making equipment there, only two empty Canadian mist bottles in a red golf cart and at the home of the South 6th Street, they found evidence of an explosion that happened in the backyard. The homeowner, Wagner's friend, said the incident happened last Saturday. Well, the meantime, Wagner pulled up to the house in a golf cart. They began to hang out, Wagner said he was going to kill the chickens in the yard. Wagner went to his golf cart and retrieved a Canadian mist bottle, filled it with black powder, sand and a green fuse. That'll do it. Yes. Investigators say he lit the fuse through the IED in the backyard where it went, boom, it spluted. It spluted. Yes it did. Blowed up real good. Blowed up real good. Here's what I don't understand. How do people think of this shit? I don't know, but he blew that up real good. Yes, he did. But there you go. Investigators said Wagner lit the fuse through the backyard. It exploded and, yeah, there it goes. And it recovered a one pound bag of explosive black powder, eight feet of cannon fuse and a coffee cup filled with sand, which Wagner had left in the sixth street home. Wagner was charged by the sheriff's office and remained late Friday in Indian River County jail with bail set at $30,000. Wow. Well, what? I'm only 30? Fucking hell. Yes. I know, right? Geez, only 30,000. Geez. Who would have thunk it? What? Blows this whole thing. And that, my friends, I know you wanted, I know you wanted the voodoo vagina, but, uh, that just, that didn't happen, folks, exploding chickens. It's exploding their chickens and he blew up his chickens. Well, you're helping me get through. You're helping me keep up next day, anyways. My anniversary as well, so happy anniversary, man. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. That's great. Our anniversary's tonight. Five years. Eric. Welcome to the show, buddy. Hello. And I'm happy 230th episode. Yay. Yes. And, of course, I've had to say tonight's yin and yang when Zilla was mentioning, I've bet that might have made the blooper real. That was heavy, boy. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. We have so much stuff happening on this episode that's, that's just, it's epic. This episode is epic, folks. Momma Bear rocks it out all, all the whole time. I mean, she's just great. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if you're looking for another comedy podcast later, consider checking out the slightly doomed edition of The Things And When You Is Doing Show in about an hour, because Scooter and Jones will keep you coming in. You might even get a surprise visit from spanking and Jennifer, you never know about them. And then, of course, you know, when, and then when you guys wrap up, you got Shane and Lucky me doing the 6-2 O'Paddio and then, and then our friend George from, from Best to Champion down in chat, you'll be seeing him later at the Wednesday night. And then tomorrow, be sure to check out Crash and Burn. Um, at 3PM Eastern time, and I know you, Momma Bear, Tracey, will definitely be there supporting your fellow Canadian. Mm-hmm. And, and then another, another, another great group of blokes. So, you know, from England, you know, Nick and Paul, it's up since for days. And I know, you know, you and Ralph definitely love those guys, don't you, Tracey? Yes. They're great. And then I know you and Ralph will be back on in the morning to, you know, tonight on me, Stern, and then they can also find out one WES and epic strategies network. And then a couple of great shows. I think Fair Use and Blunt Ninja will probably be doing like another ladies' night or gentlemen's night on Friday and then, and then check out Coffee TME with Cindy and check out the outside normal podcast with Russ and, you know, the middle is really good as well as on Sundays, the Illuminated Breents of Caps. Um, check out, of course, The Flagship Beans and Winnie Show is on Saturday. Check out, um, you know, The Old Man's Podcast on Monday and check out The Frankie D Show Monday and Tuesday and, and, and also check out, you know, Sue and Caps and Mayor Crazy and Shorty V when they do their chill shows and, you know, just so many great content creators worth checking out your on-pod bean and. Absolutely, Eric. Eric, you rock, man. We want to thank you, personally, thank you for helping promote all of our shows. I think he's going in the Matrix, he's in the Matrix. Yeah, he's in the Matrix, he's just, uh, but while he was here, folks, he was promoting everybody's show, especially Malabare Show and, uh, on the, uh, the Epic Strategies Network. Yes. There you go. And, uh, that's Wednesdays at one o'clock, I believe. Is that true? Is that, is that, did I get that right? You did. Awesome. You know, I'm sorry that I, I work now on Wednesdays, so I can't listen to you. I'm sorry. But I am there in spirit, I am there in spirit because you play songs like this. Well, it's possible that it's useful because I never, never drink and drive. That's right. And, um, I have another song coming up, I got a song, don't tell me how to wipe my ass. Coming up. Bob. Bob. What? Bob? What? Why did you say what? Thank you so much for having to be on the show, man. I was concerned, don't tell me how to wipe my ass, Bob. Oh, okay. What? Bob, remember the song, wipe my ass from the beginning of the show. I want to thank everyone and join us for tonight's show. All right. We only got a couple of minutes. We only got a minute and a half. So it's a four minute song, so I'm just going to get as much as we can. Guys, I'll see you next week. All right. Good night. Good night, everybody. We love you. We'll have had enough folks telling me what to do. From how I drive my truck to how I tie my shoes, they say, "Hold your socks, put your boots on right." But when it comes to wiping, well, that's my fight. I don't need no lecture, no have-me-down sass. You can keep your opinions by cleaning my glass. I'm a grown man. I got my own damn class, and I'll be damned if you tell me how to wipe my ass. Don't tell me how to wipe my ass. I'll take my time, I'll do it for class. Whether I go on front to back or side to side, I'm the king of my throne, that's my pride. Don't tell me how to wipe, no serene, I've been doing it my way. Since I was three, I don't need no help, no fancy advice. I clean my own cheeks, I roll my own dice. (upbeat music)
