Phone Taps
Stop Skipping Out on Jury Duty
But there's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado. There's only one member FDIC. Head over to NFLShop.com today for the largest collection of officially licensed gear from all your favorite brands. NFLShop is your ultimate destination for the official NFL sideline collection worn by players and coaches on game day. Explore the same sideline and on-fuel gear worn by your favorite players and coaches at NFLShop. To shop now go to NFLShop.com. What if there was a day when we could come together to give to the causes we're most passionate about? Great news! There is! December 10th is Colorado Gives Day and it's easily the best day to give. All the causes you care about are in one place, so let's start a wave of generosity across the state. Join us in lifting up our local communities. Live now through December 10th at ColoradoGivesDay.org. Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran, the Elvis Duran phone tap. What a great email this was. My co-worker Darren has been called in for jury duty several times in the past year. How many can relate with him? Somehow, someway, he has managed to dodge phone calls and letters from the city because he really doesn't want to serve jury duty. Please phone tap him, pretending you're from the courthouse, trying to set a date for him to appear and watch him try and weasel and wiggle out of doing this jury duty stuff and this comes with us from Karen. Anyway, so scary is going to start to call as a representative from the courthouse, which is very believable. Karen will be listening in on the other line as we phone tap Darren. Let's listen in. Hello. Alright, how are you? Pretty good. We wanted to recruit you for a jury duty and we wanted to set up a date right now real quick. I'm in the middle of work right now. No, well, that's impossible because I had called your work and somebody over there gave me this number. Alright. Okay, so how could you be at work right now? One that's under your business. Did I catch you in a lie? Is that it? No, you did not. Where are you working right now? I'm on the road for work if you don't mind. I never said I minded. Now, here's the deal, Mr. The deal is calling me on the landline, not my cell phone, stop wasting my time. I'm working right now. Hello, Mr. Herms, Harvey Mathers, Bergen County Courthouse again. I'm working right now. Don't bother me at work. Okay, we need to set up a date today because... There'll be a letter in the mail and I will answer the form. Do it the right way. We've sent you letters in the mail already, sir, and we're going to get a court officer over there if we cannot come to an agreement today on when you're going to be serving. Well, you're not sending me letters because if you send me letters, you would get answers to letters. We sent you several letters and you thought you could duck out on jury duty. No, I don't think I can duck out on it. Let's call a spade a spade, sir. Good. Then put it down there. I refused to go, alright. I've had enough. You cannot refuse jury duty, sir. Actually, I can refuse everything, anything I wanted. The last time we checked this was a free country, isn't it? Is this a free country? Have you ever checked the fine print in our Constitution, sir? We can subpoena you to serve and you're failing to comply with this. Are you going to pay me my salary in bulk because I don't get paid to go to jury duty? We don't have to pay your salary, sir. Then who's going to pay me for the time off? You'll be paid $6.50 an hour. And that's not enough to feed my family. I'm the only income in my family. So you heard of telling my daughter she can't eat. Okay, now I'm not saying that. You are. You're telling me if I have to appear, my daughter can't eat. It is your calling. This is what we do. Everyone has to do this at one time. I don't believe in your system. I have seen nothing but injustice come out of the court system. This is a government system that doesn't work. It works fine, okay? No, it doesn't. That's your opinion. You're right. Because everybody right now, you don't see everybody. Who's guilty? Anybody that I go off against is guilty because that's the way I'm going to find them. You mean you're going to be prejudiced? Oh, yeah. You better believe it. We'll put you on a triple murder trial. And they're guilty. I'll say to it. You're leaving nothing. The conversation is done. Deal with me in the mail, like you're supposed to. I already did that. Wait. No, you did not. Yes, I did. Where's your fine documentation? I sent you several. I have it. Several. Prove it. Several. Yeah, okay. Prove it. I move it. I'm going to have a court officer there on Monday morning, sir. They can kiss my aunt, the government. We're taking you away in cuffs. That sounds great. I love it. I love, you know why? I like being handcuffed. Oh, yes. Sure. You pervert. Consider this one. I will sue your ass. You can't sue us. We're a government agency. Yes, I can. I could do whatever I wanted. It's a free country. If you start saving to feed your family today, you'll be fine. You don't know what my income is. What is your income, sir? You don't have a right to ask me that. Yes, I do. I just did. Hold on. Talk to my boss. Yeah, okay. Bobby, tell him I can't talk right now. He's busy right now. We're on a job. He has to go. Have a nice day. You're coming to get you. He's such a little bitch. Not interested. Despite what freedom you might think you have, you don't have a choice. What did it take to tell you I'm trying to do my job here and you're interrupting my job? You don't know who you're messing with. Yes, I do. I'm wrong. You're right. I am a moron. This is Scary Jones from Elvis Durant in the Morning Show. You've been phoned tapped. Oh, that's pretty. Karen over at the office wanted to play this on you. I'm going to kill you, Karen. The Elvis Durant phone tap. This phone tap was prerecorded with permission granted by all participants. The Elvis Durant phone tap only on Elvis Durant in the Morning Show. There's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado, there's only one. Over to NFLShop.com today for the largest collection of officially licensed gear from all your favorite brands. NFLShop is your ultimate destination for the official NFL sideline collection worn by players and coaches on GameDay. Explore the same sideline and on-fuel gear worn by your favorite players and coaches at NFLShop. To shop now, go to NFLShop.com. What if there was a day when we could come together to give to the causes we're most passionate about? Great news. There is. December 10th is Colorado Gives Day, and it's easily the best day to give. All the causes you care about are in one place, so let's start a wave of generosity across the state. Join us in lifting up our local communities. Live now through December 10th at ColoradoGivesDay.org. (soft music) You
Darren keeps dodging phone calls to appear for jury duty so Skeery calls him from court to say enough is enough!