Phone Taps
The Bakers Son Broke the Statue
There's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado, there's only one member FDIC. At King Super's, an annual Boost Membership just got even better. Now you can choose from Disney+ with ads, Hulu with ads, or ESPN+ on us when you sign up. Plus, enjoy unlimited free delivery, double fuel points, exclusive offers, and free items. Sign up for a Boost Membership today. It's an easier way to save, including new streaming options to relax with, while we deliver your groceries. King Super's, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply seasight for details. How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, "Just one more day until Friday." But then somebody in the elevator says, "Happy Friday!" Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with Geico. "Don't answer the phone, Elvis Duran. The Elvis Duran Phone Tap." All right, the phone tap. Email, dear Elvis. My name is Gio. I would like to phone tap my mom. Oh no. I recently went on vacation with a bunch of my friends, ended up hugging a statue while drunk, causing it to fall over and break. So why don't we call mom looking for a little money for the statue I broke. Oh, the old pay for the broken statue bit. All right, here's the setup. Garrett, our own Garrett, starts the call as the hotel manager looking for the money to replace the statue. And then Gio comes on to add fuel to the fire as Gio and Garrett Phone Tap mom. Let's listen into today's phone tap. "Hello on the bakery." "Hi, Giovanni and Luciano, please." Oh, Jesus. This is AC Slater. I work for the hotel that Mr. Luciano stayed at last week, and I kind of let him go for knocking over a statue at the hotel I work at. So I was just calling him up because my boss is on my ass. I kind of need that money that he promised he would get to me. "He paid to that money. Who is this, first of all?" AC Slater. "Okay, well, did you have insurance?" Yes, but here's the deal. I don't know. He knocked over one of the founding fathers of the hotel, and I have him coming to the hotel within a week. And if I don't have the statue that your son knocked over of our founder, Zach Morris, we're going to have a problem. "Your hotel should pay for whatever time it is on there." Not when your son knocked it over on purpose. "How much is this? How much is this? Whatever kind of statue it is." I need $1,700 more dollars. "Yeah, you are absolutely out of your mind, the hotel's mind or whatever. I also have a business and if something breaks inside my business, I have insurance for that purpose." Do you run a four-star hotel? "No, I run a four-star bakery." A four-star bakery? "Yeah." If one of your customers came over and knocked over the Pillsbury Doughboy, I'm sure you would make him replace it too. "He gave you more than enough money for your damn statue, so you know what? You can shove it." Listen, I'm going to get that money and I'm not getting paid in doughnuts, whatever. "You don't get paid in bread or doughnuts? And by the way, they're very good doughnuts." "No, okay, I'll believe it when I taste it. All right, so what?" "I ain't giving you no more dough either. How's that?" "Yeah, you're giving me more dough. I mean, I will come to the bakery and take it out of your cash register if I have to." "Well, you know what? Before you do that, you couldn't have to pass through the dough and pass by me first. He gave you more than enough to pay for your statue and not to be packed with after that." $300 buys me an arm and I'm not going to show a founder of my hotel, "Hey, here's your arm. I'm sorry I don't have the rest of your body because some 21-year-old was drunk and decided to dry hump you." "Do you have any crazy glue? My suggestion is, okay, if that's better with that important, you should just crazy glue it together. I'm sure he wouldn't have enough of a difference." "He came in. He knocked, no, you listen to me. You listen." "Mr. Mr. Are you going to listen to me? Listen, son of a bitch." "You listen to me, son of a bitch." "I raise a man. I raise a sleeping kid. I like you." "Come here now, okay? I'll pay your plane ticket. Come here now and come sit up to me in my face and then I'll show you who's the animal." "No, no, no. If you saw how your son acted, no, no, no. "Mr. What ever the hell your name is?" "Slater." "Yes." "Slater." "Slater, later, later, later, whatever your mom decided to name you. I think I'll cut your butt off and make you eat them if you don't stop saying things about my son like that, okay?" "And you know what? I'll probably spit it out because you're probably a bad cook, too." "Do you have nothing to do? Are you a false mom to tell? Is it that crappy that nobody goes there because obviously you have nothing else to do but stay on the phone?" "Well, no, I have a lot to do, but when I have a pain in my ass that I need to take care of, I take care of it." "Stop that. Stop that. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. You can't top that." "No, listen, Mr. Flater jerk. You're the jerk, okay?" "Yes, later jerk." "You are the [bleep] because you know what? If you want it, you'll be here in my big room right now, talking face to face, not on the phone." "Come here, I'll give you the money. I'll even give you a cannoli." "Hey, Mrs. Luciano, I think I would take that cannoli. My name is Garrett from Elvis Duran in the morning show and you got phone tap by your son." "I got you." "Oh my God. That's the music. Elvis, listen to your damn station in the morning and I got caught like an idiot. Oh my God, you really want the cannoli?" The Elvis Duran Phone Tap. "This phone tap was pre-recorded with permission granted by all participants." The Elvis Duran Phone Tap, only on Elvis Duran in the morning show. There's only one feeling like knowing your banker personally, like growing up with a bank you can count on, like being sure what you've earned is safe, secure, and local. There's only one feeling like knowing you're supporting your community. You deserve more from a bank. You deserve an institution that stood strong for generations. Bank of Colorado, there's only one member FDIC. At King Super's, an annual boost membership just got even better. Now you can choose from Disney+ with ads, Hulu with ads, or ESPN+ on us when you sign up. Plus, enjoy unlimited free delivery, double fuel points, exclusive offers, and free items. Sign up for a boost membership today. It's an easier way to save, including new streaming options to relax with while we deliver your groceries. King Super's, fresh for everyone. Restrictions apply seasight for details. How do you feel when you switch to Geico and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself just one more day until Friday. But then, somebody in the elevator says, "Happy Friday!" Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yup, switching and saving with Geico feels just like that. Get more with
Gio went on vacation and broke a statue while hugging it, drunk! So Garrett calls mom, looking for the replacement money.