LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE

TOXIC BEAUTY STANDARDS & BODY IMAGE

we’ve all felt it… the pressure to look a certain way to fit into society’s idea of being “perfect.” In this episode we open up about the ways these standards affect us and how they creep into our every day lives. Let’s talk about how we can challenge these ideals, build self acceptance and encourage a culture that values every kind of beauty.

New episode every Wednesday💋

Youtube: @livinourcrazylifee https://youtu.be/PxGFktaLt6Y?si=NVafDkevBT5cQ9il

Instagram: @livinourcrazylife https://www.instagram.com/livinourcrazylife/profilecard/?igsh=MXZ3djJ6Y2plbDJjbQ==

Megan’s instagram: @watson.04

Olivia’s instagram: @olivialnguyen

Duration:: 31m
Broadcast on:: 20 Nov 2024
Audio Format:: other

Hey guys, welcome back to another week of Live In Our Crazy Life podcast. It's Olivia and Megan, and today we're gonna talk about beauty standards and the pressure that people face to just keep up in a superficial society. I would say every single person in the entire world has felt the pressure of beauty standards and having to present themselves a certain way, and it's really unfortunate. And I think it starts from a very young age. So, I mean, the second you're born, let me just actually start from the start of your life. The second you're born, you're either a cute baby or you're a freaking ugly baby, okay? And that's true. That's just the truth. You're either a fat baby or a skinny baby. Exactly. And sometimes like, that has nothing to do with your control, but it's just the way you're born. No hair, you have hair. Exactly. And then as you grow up, you start to see other little kids, right? You're in daycare and you start seeing little boys and little girls and little crushes. And I think the first time I became fully aware that I was like a real human being that had looks and that people cared about the way I look, I was probably like four years old. And I was just running around the playground, but that's not what I'm talking about here. Anyways, as you go through life, more and more things for you to pay attention to. I think it starts in middle school. I think it starts, I don't even know what middle school is. I'm saying that as if I know what middle school is, guys, I think middle school is like grade five. I don't know. It starts in like grade four or five. I feel like grade two, grade three, you're kind of like your mom picks out your outfits, you're wearing, you know, like whatever you're wearing, you're good with what you're wearing, but then I think it comes to like for me, I think it was like grade five, you start to like start seeing people around you like just like little things like, oh, I wish my hair was like that, or I wish my, why are my eyes a poop collar, or like, I don't know, if you have glasses, you have freckles, all that stuff's pointed out to you, or like anything like, oh, now I'm starting to like, if you're a woman, like, oh, now I'm starting to like go through puberty, like, what is happening to my body, or oh, why do I have so much hair in my arms, and they don't, like, it's all little things, and then you get to, it's like, you start breaking out, and you're like, why am I breaking out, and they're not, it's like, I think it just starts there. Another huge part of beauty standards is not actually the way you look, so it can be what you wear, right, how you present yourself, because I remember being in middle school, and all my friends were wearing Triple Flip, Lou Lemon, they were wearing all these high-end brands, and I just remember thinking of Viva, all of these, and it's just something that I never had, and I remember that the people who could have those things were the more popular people, they had more friends, guys were looking at them more, and that's kind of when I started to be more aware of the fact that how you look plays an entire huge role into how you're treated. Let me just say that again, how you look plays a role in how you are treated, and it's unfortunate, but it's the way that our society works. We play so much value on materialistic and superficial things that aren't even real and have nothing to do with who you are as a person, and we put your importance on those things. So, again, you know, when I was going through puberty, I had acne, and obviously, it's still something that comes up here and there, and I remember feeling self-conscious about it, because I didn't want to show my face, I did not want to go out. If I had a pimple, I did not want to go to school, just because I felt ugly, and I knew that people might make a comment on it, or just felt self-conscious, and people that say, "Well, I can play connect the dots on your face." Which, by the way, commenting on people's appearance, never okay. Also, acne is something that someone cannot control. So, for you to actually sit there and call someone ugly or make jokes about it, it's not funny, and there's a lot of people that deal with acne, and you don't want to leave your house, and I think that people need to be more aware of the comments you're making sometimes, because not everything is funny, and not everything is a joke. No, no, and you have no idea what saying that to somebody can do. I remember, I was in grade five, and I had one pimple on my face right here, and this boy came up to me, and he said, "Oh, you have a pimple on your face, it's so big," and it was just a little pimple, and I looked at him, and my whole chest flared up. I wanted to go home, I started crying, I'm a super sensitive person, but I never wanted to show my face again, because that just felt so embarrassing. But then, as you get older, it starts to also come around to your weight, and there's a lot of pressure for women to be small, and stay small, not take up space, and I just don't think it's fair, because as you grow up, in the media, and on social media, TV, movies, all these things, you see that the smaller people are, they get more, they're always the good characters in movies, they're always the ones who end up with the guys, and it's about attention, and this and that, and it subconsciously puts so many beliefs about yourself inside yourself, and you don't even know this, you don't even know yet until you start having your own issues with that kind of stuff, like I think food, and people's relationships with food, girls and guys, but like a little girl being worried about how much she's eating, or developing bad relationships with food, is something that just shouldn't exist, it shouldn't matter, but now we're at a point in society where I don't even know one girl that hasn't struggled with her body image, or food, and that sort of sense, and like that's just not fair, and it's stupid, and I think us as a society need to put a lot more work into how we talk to little kids, and how we treat them, and how we have our own relationships with food, and we need to put forward like healthy images for people, because that's perpetuating like a really bad cycle, and beauty standards change, obviously over the years there's been, over the centuries, there's been different beauty standards that are favored right, and right now it's, it's kind of coming back in that it's that heroin chic look, it's that really skinny, almost sick look, and that's horrible, but, but also, I mean, what, 10 years ago, and even now we still have that whole surgery look, right, so people are doing the BBLs, getting the boob implants, getting their lips done, and people take this way too far, and it gets out of control, but it's like, it's not even their choice even, it is their choice, but as a society, like it's just become so normalized that this is what this type of person is doing, it's nothing against people that go and get surgery done, because if you don't have certain parts, and it's gonna make you feel more confident, I'm all for it, I considered getting a nose job, I was gonna fly to Turkey and get a nose job, I'll be completely honest, and then I realized I just looked at myself in the mirror, and I was like, I don't, that's not actually gonna change anything, it doesn't matter, but for some people, it does matter, and they need to get certain things done to feel more confident, and that's, that's cool, but it's when we're taking things too far, and it's getting to a point where we're doing it because we think this is what we should be doing, or because we need the validation from it and stuff, that's when it's not healthy, so you kind of need to understand what your reasonings are for, why you want to look a certain way, and also you're always going to find something that you're not gonna like about yourself, if it's a problem within yourself, and it's actually just a mindset, like you can lose so much weight, and you can still look at yourself and be like, I still don't like myself, as, as long as you don't like yourself, you will never like your body, it doesn't matter how much you work out, it doesn't matter how much you're doing to your face, no matter how much lip filler you get, no matter what nose job you get, no matter what you get a BBL, your boobs done, cut the fat off your arm, you're gonna look at yourself and be like, I'm still too fat, or you're gonna look at yourself and say, I'm still too skinny, so really, it's within yourself, and you just have to work on it, and if you look at yourself all the time, and you're like, I'm so fat, I'm so skinny, I'm so ugly, then you're gonna believe what you're saying to yourself, it's so important to also be mindful of what you're saying, like when you're around people, and let's say you're like in your group of friends, or even like you have a younger sister, or a younger brother, and you're you're talking down on yourself, they're gonna think in their head, like, wow, like I think she's so pretty, like then, and she doesn't see that in herself, and then they're gonna go and look at themself in the mirror and be like, well what's wrong, then there's something wrong with me, like if she doesn't think she's pretty, and so it's just be mindful what you're saying, be mindful what you're commenting on people's like videos, it's so sad that people will be like watching a video and be like, oh, he's so ugly, or she's so ugly, and everyone has their own taste, what they like, and that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying that like, who are you to judge someone for what they look like, and also, I don't know when it became so normalized to be like, when someone's like bigger, it's like, oh, they're not, I don't know, it's like, skinny people that can do this, or this or that, but it's like, why? Life is so much more than just your body size, or what you look like, and I think people just need to stop it all. There's a difference between wanting to be healthier, in fact, that's good, you should be eating, I don't know when it became a thing where it's like, eating clean is like a diet, eating clean is not a diet, you should be eating clean, but it's like, if you want to treat yourself to a burger here and there at a restaurant, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just, you need to have a, it's like a healthy balance, there's nothing wrong with wanting to, you know, be toned or be in shape, there's nothing wrong with that, that is something that's actually very good, but it's when you take it to the next level, or it's like, you're criticizing other people because they might not want what you want, and I think that it's not your place to criticize other people, and focus on yourself, and that's it. I completely agree, and also the way that people look doesn't tell the full story, you know, there can be someone who's a little bit bigger, and yet they're still working out every day, they're still eating clean food, they're still doing everything that a smaller person is doing, and it's just not your place, because you don't know what people are going through, you don't know people's mental conditions, you don't know people's medical history, and it's just never ever your place to assume that you know a full story on people, and then to comment on that is crazy, because you don't know, right, and that can then harm that person. When did fat rolls become a problem? I'm, I just, like I don't get it, I just think that everybody wants this body where it's like, you're flat tummy, that's not even a thing. I know you see people on social media, and you think it's a thing, but it's actually not because you could go to the gym for a year and still have fat, like that's so normal, in fact it's actually okay, it's okay to have fat on you, that, that hello, we're human, thank you, like I should have fat, also just I think that the beauty series as well for women, and men, men, you have to have like this physique that are either like muscular, you know you got abs, and like you're not too big, but you're not too small, because then you're not manly, if you're not big enough, but then if you're a woman and you're not tiny, it's like oh then a man doesn't want me, but it's like oh you have to have an ass, and oh you have to have boobs, and oh you have to have a pretty face, and oh you, she has to look good with makeup, but also without makeup, and she has to dress super nice, but yeah I don't know, it's just you're asking for too much, it's like why should I feel like I have to have this huge bubble butt to get a man, I don't get it, you should be able to go out and dance on the streets, or go out to bars and clubs, and just be happy with what you're wearing, and it's not oh this guy's not gonna like me, because I don't have boobs, or a butt, oh he's not gonna like me, because my lips are too small, oh he's not gonna like, like that should not be a thing, and it's so sad to see, and it's like oh like it's just like the beauty standard is around, when you get older for like dating, I feel as a whole, it's just so corrupted, it's just sad to see, that being said, if you want a BBL, go get one, but they look really botched half the time, I will say, more than half the time when we were criticizing, yes, I just think, I just think that plastic surgery in a whole is like, it's, there's pros and cons, and I don't know, I just feel, you shouldn't change the body that you have, you know, like artificially, if my issue with it is that, so say for example you're saying, I don't like that I don't have big breasts, I want to get big breasts, right, so then you get them in, and you're saying to love myself, I like this is gonna make me more confident, and it's gonna make me love myself, but then you're not loving yourself, you're loving what you did to yourself, and that's okay, you don't have to love the body you were given, or you don't have to, but I just think that from birth there's just a lot of ideals put into your head, and like when you, but I think you should, yeah, you should work towards loving your body, because it actually doesn't matter, like if you put pressure on yourself, because of what you think other people want, like if you ever put pressure on the way you look, because you think a guy won't like you, that's sad, that makes me really sad for you, because you're afraid, like that's out of fear, and you're insecure, and like you have to, you should want to work on that, your body is a temple, and like any guy that you're so much more than your body, like this is, your soul is in here, okay, this is just what you're on the outside, no matter what hair color, no matter what size, chest, no matter what size, but like you're just you, and if the guy doesn't like you for who you are underneath all of that, then he's not meant for you, and I know you don't want to hear that, but like I'm just telling you the truth, like he doesn't deserve you in the first place if he's going, if a guy is that like naive to think, oh, like she's really nice, but like I don't, I need a butt on her to be with her, like come on, then honestly, that way, thank you. Same goes for a man, like if a woman only looks at you and is like no, I can't, like he's really nice, but he's just not built the way I want, tell her to hit the door, like you deserve better than that, but it is really sad that I feel like basically it's social media is falling. It's everywhere, it's all over TV shows. In every single piece of media we consume, and it's stupid because you don't even have a choice, like you don't have a choice but to look at things where other people are favored and... Didn't jobs do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and it's so sad, like it's, it's in jobs, like if you don't look a certain way you won't get the job, if you don't act a certain way you won't get the job, but it's like why are we looking at that type of level? It's stupid, but it has always been, and like unfortunate as it is to say, I really don't see it changing as to where the way you look and the way you present yourself is a direct correlation to how you're treated, and like it's not fair. I see it getting 100% worse. Me too, because this generation is getting worse. And like for a second there, I thought, I thought for a second with this body positivity movement and all of this, I was like, oh, because at the start that whole movement was about loving yourself, not all of this, but then that movement started to get all these other things like, oh, you know, if you're a bigger person, you're saying you love yourself, then really you hate yourself because you're not working out and you're okay with being bigger. And this and that were like, if you're small and you, and you don't like yourself, then that means that. And it's like, I just wish that health, like health does not have a look. It really doesn't, a healthy lifestyle is what matters. And, and like, as long as you're working on yourself, you're okay with what you're putting into your body, you're okay with the physical exercise you're doing and you're healthy. I don't see an issue with the way that you look because it doesn't matter and it has nothing to do with the way you are, like, or who you are. You could be the skinniest person and still be the most unhealthiest person. You could be the biggest person and be the healthiest person or vice versa other way around. And as long as you go to your doctor's appointment and it goes check, check, check that you're helping in all your sections, then it doesn't matter what size you are. I also think that makeup, I wear makeup, people wear makeup, but I also think that you need to learn how to love, like, your bare face. And I know that's a struggle for a lot of people out there. But you really just have to, like, come to a mindset where it's, you know, you are pretty. You are pretty. Everyone is so beautiful. You don't see your own beauty. I see people's beauty and I hear them say, like, oh, I look ugly in this, or like, what the fuck am I looking like this, or da, da, da, da, but I see beauty in that person. Like, I think you're actually beautiful and pretty. And it makes me sad that people don't see that in themselves. That's why you have to, you have to work on healing your relationship with these things now, like, in the present time, because life is so short. And if you spend your time worrying about the way you look, then you've just wasted your whole life. And it's fun. And I see all these videos of these older women and they're saying, you know, go out and live your life. And it doesn't matter how you look and love yourself. And the weight doesn't matter. And, you know, you'll be thinking back to those beach days where you didn't want to go and wear your bathing suit, but then you didn't end up going to the beach. And they say, like, that's my biggest regret is hating myself. Because you can't hate yourself into loving yourself. You love yourself into loving yourself. Like, even when you don't like what you see in the mirror, you have no other choice but to face it. And if you don't like something, then change it, you know, work towards changing in a healthy way or learn to accept it. Learn to accept that, you know, maybe I don't like the bump on my nose. Maybe I don't like the way that my body competition position is. But at the end of the day, you have to separate the way you look from your worth because they're not the same things. And you can't place your worth in the way you look. And, and like, there's just so much annoyance with like men, you know, in the dating world, like, gosh, God, it's horrible. Like, it's, it's sad. Honestly, embrace what you don't like about yourself. And you'll see that you'll start accepting and actually loving yourself. Like, it's just not that serious. Like, it's not that serious. Like, I, I go to Pilates and honestly, like people, some people take it like so serious. Me, I don't know sometimes how to do the workouts. And I just laugh it off because it's not that serious. Like, I do it because it's, it's like fun for me. And it's also like a workout that's not like, I'm not like dreading to go to. And I actually enjoy it. And then like also walks, I love to go on walks. And I enjoy it. I'm not going to do something that I don't enjoy. I just want to say that even at our Pilates studio, I can tell that there's people in there that absolutely hate themselves and they turn it into a competition. And I don't know if this is just because it's like a Pilates place and that's what you expect it to be. But in the, in the back row, we will hear, and these are moms, like, moms to children because we hear them talk about their children. And they're in the back of the Pilates studio saying like, Oh yeah, I'm doing this workout. And then I'm also staying for the one after and I'm going for a walk and I didn't eat lunch today. And I'm doing this and that. And it's like way that you're so okay hating yourself in a public space and talking about yourself like that to other people makes me feel so sad for you, but also disappointed because you have children and the way you hate yourself rubs off on your children. And that is not fair. Parents need to heal their relationship with themselves and everything before you perpetuate those disgusting habits onto your children. And they are disgusting because telling your, your child, you don't like the way they look or, or just guiding them to an unhealthy path of eating and relationships that stuff is just disgusting, disgusting. And never, never, ever, ever take your insecurities out on other people. It's actually the most disgusting thing you can ever do. Like if you are not happy with your body, don't ever take that out on your friends, your family. Don't ever, ever, like, take that out on somebody else. Don't take someone else's shine. And if somebody is so confident in themselves, don't take that away from them because they took a long time to get there and they deserve to get there. Exactly. When you see a woman or a man walking down the street with so much confidence and you know, maybe they are that bitch that's like out there and they're posting up when they want to, wearing what they want to walk in the street like that. Let them be and like, I hate when it's seen as like trying so hard or like you're like self-absorbed. Yeah, self-absorbed. It's not that like you should be self-absorbed with yourself sometimes. You should be, you should be speaking. I don't know when it became a thing where it's like confidence is seen as like ignorant. Like I think that you need to get to a point where you are that like happy with yourself. So don't ever take your insecurities like that's yucky and don't ever honestly like you should never be speaking on your child's looks appearance because that plays with their head in ways you don't know. I definitely think it has become a thing to just tear down people that are confident in themselves. You see people posting bad bitch TikToks on TikTok and everyone's saying you're not even that pretty, you have a big nose, your eyebrows aren't even, you like why are we hating? Like I just don't get like I would never pull out my phone and type up like you're so fucking ugly when someone feels themselves like I don't get why it became a thing to tear people down and why they want you to hate yourself. Like why would you want that for someone else? If you hate yourself, why are you putting that to other people? Like you know how much that hurts and like also going along with always choose this side. You know it's I don't like this about myself but I love this about myself and just like find a way to turn that into something bigger and brighter because there's you're meant for so much more than the way you look and honestly like who cares and I know it's like instilled into you and sometimes like it can be a mental illness. Sometimes that you can't control that and it in that sucks and I just want to say that like life does get better and things change and just this is going to sound like very harsh and like I'm pushing you off a cliff but sometimes you need to get over yourself. You need to realize that like life goes on shit's not that serious and if if your biggest worry or concern in life is the way you look like you are very lucky. You are very lucky because I know I shouldn't make a comparison but there's people dying and there's people that were born with disabilities and there's people who have no other choice so get over yourself. Exactly. Exactly. That is the least of your concern. Sometimes tough love. Sometimes seriously it is though like when you're really like I don't want to get too far into this whole you know mental illness talk because I have a very strong opinion that I'd probably get hated on for but until you're on the other side of it you don't understand that like it really is it it really is just get over yourself like tough love honey like there's so much going on in this world and if you're over here look I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be friends with people that over here saying like oh my god I fucking hate my body oh my god like I can't believe I look like this. You can't be around that. Fuck up like honestly like you look fine you look amazing actually and you should be like very you should feel very blessed that you're even here on this earth living this life so shut up sometimes and keep them moving right like let's not make it all about what I look like why do I look like this. No and it's also not healthy to be around other people that are very insecure in themselves because people that are insecure with themselves they don't even try but they put that onto you and being around someone all the time that's talking about how they hate themselves they hate their body they hate everything about themselves is like it's poison to your own brain and even if you don't feel that way about yourself it it poisons your brain and it you can't be around people like that and those people deserve love I very much understand that but they need to get that love from themselves and you if you're trying to have a healthy relationship with yourself and you're trying to build all these things for yourself you just can't be around people that are going to drag you down and the truth of the matter is that that will drag you down so negativity is never good to be inside of you cannot be around someone that's negative 24/7 the more you speak negative the more negative that's going to come into your life and I cannot express that enough the more negativity you're around it will consume you and that's all you're going to see you know you can sit here and feel sorry for yourself all the time but realistically get over it and move on and also it is so boring like it is it is so boring to be around someone that always complains about the way they look or hates themselves because you could be going out for dinner and you know you want to go and have a good time with your friends and all they're talking about is like oh this doesn't fit me right like I hate the way my boobs look in this I don't like my legs and it's like we're here to have a good time or you're going out and they don't want to go out anymore because because they saw themselves in the mirror and they're not okay with it or just all these little things it's like you it's so boring like get over yourself and like you perpetuate this all the time you talk about all the time like fucking shut up because you look fine and it's literally just you that hates yourself like it's just you we don't see those things about you and like I know you don't choose to control that but like get over it sometimes you do control and I know we're gonna get hated on in the comments saying stuff like oh you don't understand or like you can't not everyone just has that mindset or whatever but it I just want to say one thing really quickly I we actually do understand we have both dealt with things in this world a lot and like I do get it trust me I get the way you're feeling and how like some things like yeah you can't control but you actually can like I just I'm telling you from over here to somebody that went through exactly what you're probably saying like I can't like you can't control it you can you literally can control it the thing about life is that you have the power to control your own self and I get it like there's you know I get it okay I understand what you're gonna fight with me and look I'm ready to if you want to my DMs are always open the thing is is that I can back up every single thing because I'm not saying I've been through everything in the world but I've been through a lot and I am on the other side of certain things like okay I know this is not a mental health talk but like I'm just saying that like don't you have gone through a lot okay okay you it is a mindset and if you really want it you can have it you just have to work on it and it's a lot of work it is a lot of work to a long time and we were once those annoying people that were like oh my god I fucking like just fucking shut up and eat the burger like that's another story for another day but I'm just saying like Megan said this is the problem over here and this is like what really life is okay and just and I do want to circle back to this general topic of what we're talking about now for a whole episode maybe because it is something that we both struggle with I think it's something that literally every single person almost struggles with and I think it's important to talk about because we've it's things we've gone through and so we can talk about you know how to get through certain things and and how to heal from those things tips and tricks and stuff I think is really important to talk about but still something that like I'll be completely upfront and honest like it's still something that I struggle with a lot like every day I have all these thoughts in my head but I just choose now to say shut the fuck up shut the fuck up and like it's hard and but you just have to choose not to make it your identity and like you have to get over it like you're not going to stay in the same place you're not going to stay in the same mentality like if you're sick you're sick so work on getting better like heal yourself and so tell yourself to shut up and that's like it's the hard truth but you're capable of it and only you can change yourself and only you can heal yourself so work on it seriously work on it because you can't put that forward to other people that's that's the problem that we're seeing now in the world is that it's there's been way too many people who have their own issues and they they push that on other people and that's parents that's teachers that's co-workers that's bosses that's men that's women that's the dating world it's literally everywhere and it's like heal yourself they're way too many hurt and broken people in the world that just have not taken the time to heal themselves and they are the problem yes no one can fix you no one can help you no one can make you see anything you it starts with you and yourself and I'm going to circle back again and again like I do every video until you are not secure with yourself you'll never be where you want in life it all centers around yourself okay anyways guys I think that's it for this video got a little deep there not really anyways have a great day we'll see you next Wednesday bye

New episode every Wednesday💋

Youtube: @livinourcrazylifee https://youtu.be/PxGFktaLt6Y?si=NVafDkevBT5cQ9il

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