Ramban on the Torah | 5785 | 04 | Chayei Sara, by Rav Eli Weber
What was the miscommunication between Avraham and Efron? What is the meaning of a burial plot? What fulfills a person?
KMTT - the Torah Podcast
Ramban on the Torah | 5785 | 04 | Chayei Sara
(upbeat music) - Welcome everyone to another week of Rambhanal Apparsha. This week we have this close of reading (speaking in foreign language) And (speaking in foreign language) is a bit of an odd partial in that it's dominated by the story of Eliezer finding a wife for Yitzhak, which repeats many, many times. And there are lessons to be learned by that from that, but it's just a story. And the first part before Eliezer is basically the story of Avraham buying a burial place for Sarah. And as you read it, you get the sense that there's more going on in that story than is on the surface, right? The give and take between Avraham and the Fatim and Avraham and Ephron. It seems like something more is going on and the Rambhanal is completely clued into that. And so at the very beginning of the Parsha, Avraham says to the people surrounding him, right? (speaking in foreign language) It's a strange phrase. (speaking in foreign language) They're not Antonims, but they're certainly not synonyms. So what does he mean? So the Rambhan right there says as follows. (speaking in foreign language) The Minhug was in the South in the United States is certainly the case there are, to have a family burial plot. And that's where the parents and the brothers and the siblings and their children, they're all buried there. (speaking in foreign language) And okay, there's the family burial plots. And then there's one big cemetery where people who don't belong to the important families, they get buried there. Strangers get buried there, people who died by accident in the town. I mean, everybody dies by accident, I suppose. But people who die and they don't really belong. So they're buried in the big cemetery in the potters field. I think people say in English. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) I'm a stranger. I didn't, I wasn't born in Chavron, I didn't grow up here. (speaking in foreign language) I don't have a family burial ground here, right? I'm new. (speaking in foreign language) On the other hand, says Avraham to the Benet Reis. This is where I'm going to live. This is my place for the future. (speaking in foreign language) This is where I plan to live. So at some point, I have to transition from a gear to a tauchav. And this is a good time for me to do that. (speaking in foreign language) I wanna have a burial plate plot to be like all the families in Chavron. And I have a burial plot and that's where my family will be buried and people will know this is where I belong. It's strange that that's actually how it played out. It's not just a burial plot, it's Marat al-Aqpla. But says the Raman, that's what Avraham's looking for. (speaking in foreign language) Because Avraham said, (speaking in foreign language) The people assumed that Avraham was kind of demanding a burial plot and that he wasn't gonna pay for it. Nevertheless, (speaking in foreign language) You may see yourself as a stranger, but we don't see you that way. We see you as one of us. (speaking in foreign language) It's not just that you're one of us. You're a king. (speaking in foreign language) Really an amazing thing. Avraham very humbly says to the people, (speaking in foreign language) And says, "No, you're not." You're a melahalayno. We know who you are. (speaking in foreign language) Who has made you nobility. (speaking in foreign language) Who's made you great amongst us. You deserve to take whatever burial plot you want. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) We're not gonna stop you. Tell us what you want and we'll give it to you. Now, it doesn't really play out that way 'cause ephron gets money for the field. And it could be that even ephron would have been happy for Avraham to just take the field, but Avrovinu says, "No, I wanna pay you." But what's going on here, you get the sense is that not just (speaking in foreign language) but it's coming true. Even in Avraham's lifetime, he's saying to them, "I'm just a stranger." And they're saying to him, "No, you're not." You're a king. You're a noble person. You're a person we respect. And we want you to build a, we want you to have a make a burial plot here. We want this to be the place for your family. And that's exactly what Avraham wants. And so they, so they make the deal and Avraham lives amongst them. But the idea of a family, very burial plot is something, I think we've lost it a little bit. My father-in-law's family, my father-in-law's in front of the rock and his family, they're all buried in Sanhedria. It's a small cemetery, but it's very beautiful. And I'm more aware of it now because later on, after my father-in-law was buried there, we've been there many times, where Volvadia was buried maybe 50 meters from him. And all these people offered my mother-in-law, she should live and be well, money, like a mass amount of money for her plot. Because to be buried near Avovadia, but I think to be buried amongst my father-in-law's family is a big deal. So they have a family burial plot. And finally now, Avraham purchases for himself a family burial plot. Now, having said that, after he buys it, the Torah says his follows. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) A lot of details, a lot of maybe unnecessary details, certainly buried in Canan. And don't we know that it's an arid's Canan? So says the Ramban. (speaks in foreign language) The Torah comes to explain and to describe exactly the place and the land. (speaks in foreign language) In the discussion, they just keep talking about the Chitim and the throne. And it sounds like it could be taking place in Haudslaar. (speaks in foreign language) Right, anytime you see arid's Canan, you know that it's an arid's Canan, arid's Canan turns into an arid's Canan. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) To make sure that people understand that Sarah was buried in arid's Israel. (speaks in foreign language) Now, it's an interesting thing. The Ramban wrote almost the entirety of his pagan Shala Torah in Spain. But as we all know, at the end of the Ramban's life, he was quote-unquote exiled to arid's Israel. He lived the last two and a half years or three years of his life in arid's Israel. And from arid's Israel, the Ramban sent back additions to his pagan Shala Torah. Many of them are geographic, right? When we get to where Rahshali Maino was buried, the Ramban had a certain theory. And then he comes to arid's Israel and he sees that it's wrong. And the other Ramban says, you know, I see that it's wrong. But what's interesting since the Ramban, of course, lived before the age of computers. So he doesn't send back, you know, erase this and add this. The easier way to do this is to just add things. So we used to think that they were just the limited number of these additions from the Ramban's late last years in arid's Israel. But the Mahonashrat Morim, as part of Gushat's own, Yossi Ofer, and somebody else's name escapes me now, published a safer recently in which they showed hundreds of Tikunim. They showed that the Ramban sent hundreds of messages back from arid's Israel to Spain, to air to his Peyush. And one of them is this one. Ulufid da'ati, kitam haqtou vim, a no el alahazkir, kihi arid's kenan, low arid's plished him. The sense you get is that Averham, that the Ramban in Spain understood that the Torah was trying to tell us that it was in arid's Israel, but he wasn't convinced of it. 'Cause there is shiteim and there's a fron, all these people, and what does that have to do with arid's Israel? When the Ramban got here, and he went to chevron, he saw, no, no, this is part of arid's Israel. The Torah is trying to make the point to all of us that you might have thought otherwise, but that she was buried in arid's Israel. Now I'm skipping some lines in the Ramban. He says, viniktovazot haparsha la hudiya, haste hashamim Averham. What's the great goodness that God does with Averham? Shehayann nessi alokimba arid's a shehbala goursham. First of all, it was coming true. The hafta haotah Averhama coming true, because Averham was in the seah arid's. He was really looked up to by the people who lived in chevron. Vihal haam hayukarin no adoni, right? People called him respectful terms. They were related to him as somebody who deserved honor. For who lo am I lo him king? He didn't act that way. He didn't act, he didn't demand respect. Vigam, vikhayav, qayain lo, vahagadalalal shaamacha vehiyabraha. During his lifetime, this is a significant point. The Ramban says that you might have thought God made promises to Averham. Lakhlame, that's wrong, right? And then you'll be great. Vahaiyabraha, vahagadalalal shaamacha, right? Amongst your children. Since Ramban, no, it happened to Averham himself. Averham became a person who was respected, whose name was made great. And to whom people turned to Vibrahaot. More than that, and this, he, feel the Ramban's love for Eretz Israel. Vishto Mehta, vin nick parab bin aha lata shaam, right? The Ramban says a significant idea, a significant fact that sorrow is buried bin aha lata shaam, nata lata shaam, not meaning mārata mārata mārata. Of course, that's nata lata shaam, but meaning Eretz Israel. And we'll come back to this idea in a second. Vahod. Ki ratsala ho di yinum makom kvurata avod. Here's a significant point. It's unrelated to what came before. First of all, says the Ramban. You need to know that the story happened in Eretz Israel. Second of all, you need to see within the story the fulfillment of God's, or the beginning of the fulfillment of God's promises to Averham. That he became the Averham of Averham of Averham makalauha, or vin nick parab bin hu bhukkam chhotha adhammah, uvizarecha, right? You have to see that these things were happening to Averham. He became great. He was respected by everybody. He was vehe yei bracha. And the greatest bracha was that sah was buried in Eretz Israel, in nata lata shaam. Now, an interesting addition by the Ramban. Vahod. Ki ratsala ho di yinum makom kvurata avod. The Torah wants to tell us where Mārata makalauha is. Ka asher anak nukhayavim lech habaid makom kvurata avotenu haqdoshim. We have, it's almost like a cedosh of art, right? Since Ramban, we have to show respect to the place where they avote were buried. It's not just another place. It's not just naklata shaam. It's more than that. Vuhr avotenu amru, shaagam zam min han. Okay, so far. The first point is the first point, which is, why is it that are giving us all the detail about Mārata makalauha? To tell us where Avraham, where Saara, and eventually Avraham, and then Yitzhak and his wife, and Ya and Yaakov and his wives are, I'm sorry, and his wife are going to be buried. Because we, oh, that place, okay. It's not the makom hamikdosh, but says the Ramban, where the avote were buried, is a place for which we have to show respect. And, you know, it's not such a simple thing now. And it's very involved in politics and Jewish Arab relations. And, you know, when we went, when Aryeshiva went to Chavron, we go for Slicos every year. There are 10 days a year after the Bargh Goldstein incident in Chavron. There are 10 days a year in which Jews get to go into what's called Ohel Yitzhak. The biggest room in Mārata makalauha, it's clear that the Arabs got the better of the deal. It's a beautiful room with hundreds of chandeliers and what have you. But the sense you get is that we owe something in the Ramban. The sense you get, we owe something to the avote. We owe the honor of the makom to the avote. And whatever part of it we have, we have to treat respectfully, we have to treat with great reverence and with great honor. And the idea, when you go to the Maratam alah, the sense that you're going to someplace special should, you know, that's something we should all feel when we go. Okay. Next, this is related to the Ramban's love of Eretz Israel. And it's really, it's something I never noticed before, but it's a fascinating thing. Says the possuk. Okay. Now Avraham is telling Eliezer to go to where he was born, to get a wife for Yitzhak. And the possuk says, (speaking in foreign language) I'm making you swear, swear in what? (speaking in foreign language) Which you think to yourself certainly means the God of the heavens and the God of the earth. The Ramban doesn't think so. The Ramban is an amazing chat, which you have to listen carefully to see. (speaking in foreign language) I'll read that again, 'cause I don't think it's obvious to people. What do you mean? (speaking in foreign language) Says the Ramban when it says (speaking in foreign language) It doesn't mean, as we normally think, the God of the heaven and the God of the earth. It means the God of the heaven and the God of Eretistra'el, (speaking in foreign language) His direct providence is on Eretistra'el. (speaking in foreign language) There's a difference between Eretistra'em or (speaking in foreign language) and (speaking in foreign language) Of course, it's the same God, but it's a different idea, right? God is the God of Eretistra'el in the Ramban's philosophy in a much more direct way, in a different way than he's the God of Tinek, New Jersey or of Manhattan or Johannesburg or of London or any other place. (speaking in foreign language) Okay, I'm gonna tell you the secret, but we'll talk a little bit about the secret now. But here he goes. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) Before Abraham comes on the scene, it says it says (speaking in foreign language) but it doesn't say (speaking in foreign language) because literally, (speaking in foreign language) Now, other weeks shown him agree with that. Rashi in many places say, God, you were just (speaking in foreign language) I made you (speaking in foreign language) but the Ramban makes it even clearer. No, it's not the God of the entire globe. It's that God is the God of Eretistra'el in a way, in a much more direct way. I don't want to say God forbid that God is not the God of Hutzlarets. Of course, it's the God of Hutzlarets. But there's something much more significant about his Godship over Eretistra'el than it is over Hutzlarets. And the Ramban makes the point here, and he says (speaking in foreign language) It's as if, in some way, he doesn't have a God. (speaking in foreign language) It's as if, in some way, he doesn't have a God. (speaking in foreign language) They chased me out of the land, of God's land. (speaking in foreign language) Go worship another God. So the fact of matters, they didn't say go worship another God. They just kicked him out of the Eretistra'el. But say them before, (speaking in foreign language) If I don't live in Eretistra'el, if I don't live with a direct relationship with Akhadish Barachal, if Akhadish Barachal's Ashkaha protest is indirect and not direct, it's equivalent to rejecting Akhadish Barachal. Now, I want to be careful to always say this, because everybody's heard the phrase before, right? (speaking in foreign language) And Rashi quotes it, a lot of people quoted, right? It's well known. But I think the Ramban takes it seriously in a way that other people don't, right? Not literally. Of course, it's the case that people (speaking in foreign language) Of course, it's the case that people put on filling the (speaking in foreign language) Of course, that's of course true. But the fact of the matter is, if you believe in the Ramban's idea, not just that Ereti-Sra'el is the (speaking in foreign language) Well, of course, that's true. Everybody agrees in that. But that Akhadish Barachal, there's a difference in Akhadish Barachal's Ashkaha in Ereti-Sra'el than it is in Khut-Sra'el. That Akhadish Barachal's divine providence is direct in Ereti-Sra'el, and it's indirect in Khut-Sra'el. Then, yeah, when you live in Ereti-Sra'el, you feel God's presence in a way that you don't, in a way that you can't in Khut-Sra'el. And it just reminds me of a story, where Litzing once told me. He picked up right after he made Aliyah, he picked up Rufjutner from the airport, Rufjutner used to come for the summers. And it was the afternoon, and Rufjutner said to him, "Can we go someplace where I can put on Tfillin?" So Rufjut said to me, "Didn't you dive in on the plane?" I didn't even damage that. So he said, "Yeah," he said, "But that was the Tfillin of Khut-Sra'el." Now, I want to put on Tfillin of Ereti-Sra'el, right? The idea being that you do mitzos in Khut-Sra'el, it's true. But the mitzos have more religious significance. The mitzos have more impact if you do it in Ereti-Sra'el. Okay? But that's a significant point, 'cause it comes up all the time. (speaks in foreign language) It means Ereti-Sra'el. Okay, let's do, we're in a bit of a rush today. Let's do one more. Let's go to the end of the parasha, and this is really, it's a significant moral point, and it's something that we should try to take to heart. At the end of the parasha, after Yitzhuk is married, after Abraham basically has all of his worldly needs fulfilled, the Torah tells us as follows. It is, (speaks in foreign language) Okay, (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) At a good old age, (speaks in foreign language) What does it mean, (speaks in foreign language) So he says, what exactly do we would think? (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) Right, Abraham is an old man, looked back on his life, and saw his accomplishments, and saw all the good things that happened to him, and saw the impact he had on the world, and he felt good, you know, I'd say he felt proud of himself. He felt like he led a significant life, a life of content. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) To die happy, to die content, to die fulfilled means, you accomplished your purpose on this earth. It's really an amazing idea, it's an amazing gift, that (speaks in foreign language) It's not just that he did it, but he knew that he did it. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) The same thing happened to him, it's not that (speaks in foreign language) lived so long, it's not that (speaks in foreign language) lived so long, 180, 175, 480, 180. 100, and I think (speaks in foreign language) lived 175 years, he could have lived 180. Okay, at that time, people lived that long. It wasn't that he thought to himself, wow, I've lived so long, it's that I've lived so full, I've lived such a full life, such a meaningful life. (speaks in foreign language) Now, how does that happen? Now, there's another amount of editorializes it, but it's an amazing point. (speaks in foreign language) It is one of the great character traits of (speaks in foreign language) What is it? (speaks in foreign language) They don't desire more than they need. It doesn't mean that (speaks in foreign language) are happy being poor, but (speaks in foreign language) are happy with what they have. And that's a significant point. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) A person who loves money can never, ever have enough money. That's frustrating, 'cause such a person could never, ever die (speaks in foreign language) He could never feel like he had a complete full life, 'cause he wants more (speaks in foreign language) As I'll say, the average person dies and would tell you, I didn't accomplish half the things I wanted to accomplish. I didn't get half the things I desired. (speaks in foreign language) That is really mean. (speaks in foreign language) He has a hundred (speaks in foreign language) So he wants 200. (speaks in foreign language) He desires 400, not just 200. (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) (speaks in foreign language) This is a different point, we'll come to it in a second. So (speaks in foreign language) basically say, it's not just the way I see it. Yes, objectively, Avraham had an incredibly accomplished life. An incredibly fulfilling life. And he died knowing that he had accomplished all these things in his life. But then the Ramban says, broadly speaking, that's something that most of us don't have. And most of us don't have it because we're not sadikim. And because we're regular people. And regular people want more. Sometimes you read books about people like this. He's wildly successful in his life. And yet, he risked it all at the end of his life and some real estate deal that went bad. Why did he risk it all? Because oh, I have kessif, low use by kessif. 'Cause literally, I don't wanna be a mochi, speak Lushnar, but anyway, I'm thinking of a specific situation from a long time ago, where literally the family had a billion dollars. But they risked it all on a real estate project 'cause they wanted two billion, 'cause they wanted a three billion. That's what the Ramban would say. Because when the way you judge your success is monetary, then you're on a treadmill. You're on an endless process in which you can never, ever have enough. I think Elon Musk is trying to make much more money now. He has hundreds of billions of dollars. I'm not saying he has to retire. If he wants to do a good thing, he should do a good thing. But why the desire for more money? Why does he need more money? And the answer is it's in our human nature. It's always kessif, low use by kessif. And so in our world, a person who makes more money immediately builds a bigger house, knocks down his old house, builds a bigger house. Why? He wants to project to people that he has more money, and other people are impressed by that, and other people are taken by it, and they say, wow, that's really great. And says the Ramban, or implies the Ramban strongly, that that's the difference between us, not praiseworthy people, and sadikim. We need to overcome that. We need to be the kind of people like Ava Mavino, that you could die Zakein Usvayamim, you could die with a sense of accomplishment, not the focus on, well, I only have X, and I wanted 2X. But the focus of, this is what I left behind, is the impact I made on the world. I turned Hakkodesh Bahuam into something theoretical, to something actual, right? Hakkodesh Bahu just used to be Elokesh Amayim, and now he's Elokhe Haaretz. That's much more significant. That's much more valuable. That's much more meaningful, than more and more and more money, right? You need money, you need a significant amount of money to support your family, to send your kids to Yeshiva, to do all the things that you have to do. But beyond that, right? It's a psychological point. Beyond that, it's just ego. And Ramban says, the ego's gonna get in the way of your happiness at the end of your life. And it's much better to feel satisfied. It's much better to be a mistapek bimuat. And you meet these people all the time, and you're so impressed by them. They're not overwhelmed by your wealth. They don't care. I'm not saying they disrespect it. I'm sure they're happy for you. But their values define their life, and who they are, and what they do is much more important than what they amassed in their lives. And I feel like that's just a really, really significant lesson for us, who sometimes, or often, are near shall in the opposite. And says, Ramban, that's not how we're supposed to be. We're supposed to be like the avote. We're supposed to put a number of Ramban's together. We're supposed to respect Marat al-Aqayla as the burial place for the avote, and we're supposed to respect what they stood for, right? Not God forbid. I live in Khutzlarat, so I don't have a Khutz al-Aqayla. Even if I live in Khutz al-Aqayla. As I suppose many, if not most of you do, I have to fight harder to have a relationship with a Khutz al-Aqayla. I have to fight harder to find meaning in my life and my values, and not just in the amount of money in my bank account, right? It's known against having money in your bank account, but I need to judge myself and my life in a better way. I need to be the kind of person who could die as Abraham died, Zakein Usfay Yumim, fully satisfied, fully fulfilled. That's the dream. That's what we hope for in our own lives. God willing, all of us should be Zocha for that. That's it for today. Yashikar to everybody, and God willing, see you next Shabbat. Not on Shabbat, but you get it. Bye-bye. (upbeat music) [Music]