Tale as old as time.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 793 - The Beauty and the Beast (SNES)
You're about to listen to Tadpog, Tyler and Dave play old games. It's a comedy video game podcast. We would like to stress that the host are not experts and are really just very crass commentators. Seriously, this is an explicit podcast that happens to talk about video games sometimes. So please enjoy this pretty okay podcast with Tyler and Dave. ♪♪♪ -Hello, Internet. -Hello! -I could sing in some sort of way I would do some sort of Disney-ish lead-in. -You can do it, I believe in you. -Well, it's a podcast as old as 12 years of time. -And podcast years, that's like a hundred. -That's true. Yeah, it is. So today, we're talking about the beauty and the beast, both the Disney feature film and the S&E S&E. -Not the run Pearlman, Joey, that everyone's mom watched in the '80s or maybe just mom. -Oh, for God's sake. -Not that, man. -There was a TV show of it, too, that's Linda Hamilton. -That's the one I'm talking about. That was my Pearlman, right? Maybe I'm wrong. -I don't know, I didn't watch it. -I don't remember watching it. -I remember watching it be like, "This is gonna be fucking badass." -It was not. It was super not. I watched one episode of my mom and I was like, "Ah, I will never understand women." -There was also a live-action beauty in the beast made a couple of years ago with Emma Watt. -I saw that. -I saw that, too. -I did not see that one, but I may watch it. -Kids were very excited. It took the kids to see it. -Yeah. -Well, of course, we brought on our foremost beauty in the beastologist, Captain Gudner, John Turley. -Right. Yeah, I am extremely qualified to be here. -Your beauty in the beast knowledge is-- -I know, it's unparalleled, right? -And your burger bottom title has been forever stripped. -You can't go back to it. -That's what I heard. -In your beautician in the beast knowledge, we'll come in handy. -That was a good movie. -I never saw it! -Not dead to not saw that. -Do not really know what you were talking about. -I thought you were like your number-one friend dresser, fan. -Hey, I do love friend dresser. -Yeah, that's why I figured that was going to be an honor. -I must have missed that one. I have literally-- -All right, we're going to stop him watching a goblin in real time. -No, I do feel like I know I normally joke about being unqualified to be on whatever show it is that I happen to be on. But this one, in particular, I've never-- -You've never seen Beauty in the Beast? -I've never seen Beauty in the Beast. I've never played the game. I've never seen any of the iterations of Beauty in the Beast. -Have you seen any of the R-34-- -Have you seen any of the R-34? -I didn't know that beautician in the Beast was a show. [laughter] I am immensely-- I'm a troll candidate unqualified. [laughter] -Have you ever seen any of the Rule 34 Beauty in the Beast content? -No, I have not, but I feel like that's where I should-- -I've only seen Deviant Art. -I feel like that's where I should start, right? -Really, it's the best place to start. -Unless you're a child. -Is it a lot of war, like a lot of beast eating Beauty? -Probably. -Yeah. -It's chipping his mom getting things shoved inside of him. -See, I don't even get that joke. -[laughter] -They're a tea kettle and a cup. -[laughter] -Pamously voiced by Angela Lansbury. -Oh, wow. -Bringing some clout. -Oh, it was a big fucking deal. It was a big deal. So, before we delve deeper into that, what you've always been up to? Well, guys, let me tell you about my week. Let me tell you about the time that has elapsed since we met. -How many good things have happened to you? -Not many. -Because I know you come in somewhere every week. All the amazing things. -Oh, this one's real good, though. -I could honestly say after the week I had, yesterday was a really good day. -Okay, good. -It was a good day for you and I spent some time, we did a little shopping, did a little hanging out. It was fun. -And according to our quiz, that's one of the three things you guys have in common. -That's right. -Yes, it is. That's right. So, we had a good day yesterday and we needed it. And David has heard this story and John has heard this story, but there's way more to it. The first part of my story is, Tony and I decided we were going to buy another new television. -Oh, right. -And we bought... Now, this is where the bad weeks started. -I hope it's time to watch TV. -We bought a 77-inch television. -Nice. -We went full bore too with the best... I did the research and we decided we want this one. And even the guy at Best Buy was like, "Oh, good pick. Good pick." This is the one you want if you're going to go all out. So, we bought this TV with... -Was it a genuine thorny? -It was a thorny. It was a panophonic. I know a genuine thorny when I see one. And we went to Best Buy and they loaded, so I took my big pickup truck to get it. Now, this is an OLED, which is essentially a giant 77-inch piece of glass with bunches of little LEDs in them. And they said, "Well, we'll put it in your truck only if you will..." But since it's an OLED, it has to stand upright. It can't lay flat. It's like, "Okay, so we put it in the truck and I've got out the ratchet straps and strapped it down real good and tight." -You're already making my stomach hurt. -Turned out of the parking lot and the TV fell over in the back of my truck. Screened down. Screened down. Now, I had bought the protection plan, but apparently that doesn't kick into the thing is at my house. So, I'm going to be on the hook for this fucking bull. -That's some bullshit. And they made him load it that way. -They made me load it that way. I would have been happy laying it down against the wheel well. -Because it's too wide. It won't lay flat in the truck. -Did they see you do this or could you have driven alone? -They were helping me do it. They knew it was tight. -No, did they see it fall over? -No, but I turned around. -I turned around. I turned around and went back in the store. Because I didn't understand at the time about the protection plan. This story actually doesn't happen. It has a happy ending because we took it in the store and, of course, they're like, "Oh, my God, oh my God," and they opened the box. They opened the TV in the store, took it out of the box, in the store, plugged it in, and we verified that the screen didn't get broken, and it worked. So, they taped it all back up, taped the box up, and I said, "I want you to deliver it to me." They signed me up for the delivery thing, and then the manager wrote a bunch of notes, and the thing that he and me and several employees saw that the screen was working, so that way when it gets delivered, if there's anything wrong with it, they will cover it. The next, so they're like, "Okay, we're going to bring it to you, and we'll get it to you by Thursday." This is this past Thursday, as of the airing of this episode. And they did, but in the time between we settled on buying this TV and committed to it, and the day that they brought the TV, our dryer went out, so we had to buy a new fucking dryer. They'll take forever. I know. Turns out it didn't. Turns out it didn't. I got it ordered, and it came a few days later, but the bad news there was I had my fucking dryer went out, I had to buy a fucking new dryer on top of buying this TV that we had already paid for, so now I've bought all this shit. They bring the TV, and it's fine, it's great. John came over, helped me, hanging on the wall. John took my old TV, which I helped hang on his wall. I did benefit from this transaction. You did. Then the dryer came the next day, and I was able to get the dryer hooked up, so the stress of the events starting to wane a bit. Good. And then Saturday morning, I woke up and ended up having to go to the emergency room and be in the emergency room at Baptist for four hours, because I'm past my very first kidney stone. So I fucking was. I was sitting in my living room, and I didn't feel very right. Something felt real wrong, and then something got real bad feeling wrong in my back, and the right side of my lower back, which is still tender to the touch. Like in an organ area or like in a, yeah, deep down. My penis was burning, and I was like, well, I know it's not chlamydia. So I was like, well, that's because you know I'm clean, but maybe I'm a little dehydrated or something, you know, maybe because sometimes it does, you know, if you're really dehydrated, you go pee, it burns a little or something, you know, well, that didn't subside, and then the pain started getting in, and then suddenly it's in my back, and I'm like, oh, oh, I start walking around. I'm panicking. Oh, yeah, sure. Thinking my appendix is rupturing, and maybe the pain is, I don't know the pain of that you do, but I don't know the pain. Probably not near the level of pain you were experiencing. And I was like sweating, and I was just walking around, holding my back. Oh, I'll tie his in there, blow drying her hair, and I'll walk into the bathroom. I'm like, I got to go to the bathroom. I had to shit rub it all the sudden too. And so I was like, I got to go to the bathroom. I'm in a lot of pain, something's fucking wrong with me. And I told her at the time, I said, I don't know what this feels like, but I think I might be passing the kidney stone based on what I've heard before about it. Fuck, about it being the worst pain that you can feel. It's like top three. It's worse than a river. Big thing about it, like a pain, a medically published pain scale. And like getting your finger clipped off with like garden shears is not as bad as a kidney step away. There you go. So if that ever happens, I know I can handle it. So this is fucking terrible. First, not as bad. So the first bout of it, like the first pain was so bad. And I was like, Oh God, and I'm making a big fucking scene, which I hate to do. And I'm like, let's go. I might need to go to the hospital. And times like, okay, well, let's, because we're real big on, let's not jump to conclusions, let's see what happens. Because she goes through a lot of things that we don't go to the hospital for the reason, different conclusions. And so we waited in it, and it subsided a million dollars. It subsided a little bit. And I'm like, okay, maybe I just had a real bad pulled muscle or something weird happening. 10 minutes later, it came back and it was 10 times fucking worse than it was. Now I feel like I'm going to throw up. Now I feel like I'm going to pass out, and I can't sit down. I can't stand up. I can't do anything. It is just my world. My entire world was pain. And it was the worst thing I've ever felt in my life. And I was like, okay, nope, I'm sorry, we got to go to the hospital. And she's like, okay, you know, because she was, she's like, whatever pussy. Well, sometimes I wonder if that doesn't go through her mind, because you know, when I get the flu or something, I'm down. And when she gets the flu, she just keeps on going because she's a super fucking woman, you know, she can do that. But felt like that was going to be the case. But and she didn't want to go because we had a lot to do. And but she didn't hesitate to take me. It was just not neither one of us wanted to fucking deal with this. Right. We didn't want to have to do it. But she took me to the hospital. And she's like, do you want me to, can you make it in the door? Do you want me to just drop you at the door while I park the car? I'm like, yeah, that's good. That's good. I got out of the car while it was still moving. It broke my leg. I didn't break my leg. But I got in the fucking emergency room. And mercifully, there was nobody in that waiting room. And that is the literal first time that's the like, that's, that's the packed out. Like, you're going to be there forever. And this is a Saturday morning. So I figured, Oh God, I'm, I'm fucked. I'm never going to be able to sit. I'm going to be out in the emergency room and people are going to be begging them to take me back so they don't have to hear me screaming. I go up to the window and I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm making a huge scene right now. I understand that this probably seems like I'm overreacting, but I am in the most incredible pain I've ever had in my life. And I need to see a doctor. And she's like, have you ever had a kidney stone? I'm like, no, but I think maybe that's changing right now. And she goes, yeah, it sounds like it. She's like, come here, get on scale. Let me get your blood pressure. We'll get you back to the room. So they did. We're going to weigh you after the stones out and tell you how much you lost. How much your stone? We could weigh the stone, but it's not as fun that way. I go back to the room. Time is with me. Of course. I'm just inconsolable. I am literally at this point, I am sobbing. I am crying openly. It hurts so bad. And I mean, I don't, I don't think I've ever done that in public. You know, I don't think I've ever cried that hard in my life, much less in public. And I didn't care. It was, it was, I could not manage. And they're like, the doctor comes in and he's like, ask me, you know, where can you show me where it hurts? And I did. And he's like, it sounds like you're passing us down. So let's get you, he said, let's get you a CAT scan so we can see what's going on in there. And then we'll get you some really good drugs that will make you feel better. And I'm like, bring it on, doc. And so the lady immediately, miraculously comes in to get me for the cat, like two minutes. This is not, this, this is not the hospital I'm used to. Tyler, you work at this hospital. You should try all the hospital talking to me. I don't, I don't work in that hospital, but I'm familiar. I have worked at that hospital. I thought you did. I work at the other hospital. Oh, do you? Yeah. I thought you were over by me still. Nope. Oh, well, fuck, shows what I know. Anyway, he knows this place. Do you know this? Everybody knows this place. Yeah. She comes in, wheels me gets me in the wheelchair, wheels me back to the wheels me back to get my CAT scan. And so they haven't like put me in a robe or like a gown or anything at this point. They're just dealing with me because I need to be dealt with. And so she rolls me back to the back and she's like, you sure you didn't want to get your pain meds before we do this? I'm like, no, because I don't want something to happen. It takes three hours to get in. If I could get in now, that's where I'm going. Get in, I'm sorry. To the CAT scan. Okay. Okay. Because you know, they get a lot of things going on. And then suddenly, I get put to the back of the line because I waited 20 minutes for the medicine and yadda yadda. Gotcha. So I go into the CAT scan room and she, it's her and one other woman and she's like, okay, stand up. And she's like, I'm going to need you to pull your jeans down so that we don't get like your belt buckle and your wallet and all that stuff in this room recently. And so I wear boxers and my dick just fell right out. As I pulled out my pants, my dick just popped right out in front of this woman. Sir, the medicine will be here shortly. I'm dying. I'm over here dying in pain. And I'm like, I'm so sorry. And she's like, it's fine. She's like, it's fine. It's okay. I understand it happens. It's I'm going to see kind of stuff like this all the time. It's why I work in this room. I like this. I like it. I was going to ask you to show it to me anyway. So you just saved me a step. So she puts me on the thing. And the machine tells me to hold my breath, which I'm like, no problem. Because I've been holding my breath a lot for sure. They do the scan. They wheel me back to the room. And they've got, I've already got the thing in my arm, the IV lead in my arm. And they, they, they they're like, okay, we're going to give you this to make you not throw up. We're going to give you this for pain. We're going to give you delighted. That's all it's about to ask a lot of it. It's about to give you finogrins and delighted. Delotted is awesome. I love it. I wish I could have more. Right now, that's a weird thing to say. Right now. Eat a whole bunch of dairy before. Right. All that calcium, baby. I don't know. But anyway, they gave me the pain medication. And finally, I start to feel some relief. I could tell that it's still hurting. It's still there. But it's being numbed by the medicine. It's jagged edges are shredding your insides. Yes. And so I, I, I finally am able to like lay down on the cot and I just fucking pass out sleep. And about 20 or 30 minutes goes by and I, I start to feel a little pain again on my side. But it's, it's, it's tolerable. It's manageable. It's nothing like it was. And the doctor comes in and he, of course, he sees me wincing. He goes, are you still in pain? Like, in other words, we just dosed you with a buck ton of drugs. How are you still in pain? Like, it's just, it's okay. I'm fine at this point. And he's like, okay, well, we'll get you prescriptions called in for some more pain medicine. We're going to take, send you home to pass the stone at home. I'm like, okay. So we, I lay there. And this is where I lay there for like 45 minutes. Tanya's in a really hard and comfortable chair. She's having pain already. Anyway, this is turning into a really bad situation. Finally, finally, getting, now it's getting annoying. But it was a really bad situation. Now she's annoying. Gotcha. So I call the nurse and they, of course, they went, man, happy. I'm like, my pain is manageable. I want to leave. Man, I showed you my dick, please. You're seeing my penis. Oh, you're the grower. So anyway, she's like, okay. And so they, someone comes right back and it's like, you're ready to go. You think you're okay. I'm like, well, I'm not, but whatever. So I get at the medicine. We go at this point, I'm still drugged up enough. And Tanya has to go to the store. We have to go to the store. So I'm like, fuck it. Let's just go. So I went to, we went to tractor supply at Walmart, got home and I can't take more drugs until like, you know, three or four hours later, because of the dosing or whatever. And I'm good. I had a little dinner. You know, we got settled, everything. And right after dinner, it started hitting me again. I'm like, fuck, okay, but it's not time for medicine. So I'm like, fuck it. I'm getting ready to take some medicine. And it kind of eases off. And I'm like, no, what? No, fuck this. I'm going to have a shower. I need a fucking shower. And so I go and I get in the shower. And I feel this unbelievably strange. I don't know how to describe the sensation in the tip of my penis. It was like, it wasn't a tingle, but it wasn't painful. It wasn't, but it didn't feel good. It was this, it was like a cold tingle. I don't know what the fuck it was, but it's something I'd never felt before. And I thought I was done feeling things I'd never felt. This happened. And then the sensation kind of hung there for a minute and I'm like, I don't like this. But then it stopped. And then suddenly I was fine. I'm standing in the shower. Fine. My back doesn't hurt anymore. Nothing hurts. I feel normal. So I think I passed the stone in the shower. It sounds like it. And I got out of the shower and dried off and I went into the living room and I was like, look, honey, I don't want to jump the gun here, but I think I'm okay now. And she looked at me like, get the fuck back in the chair. You're not going to, there's no way you're okay. I was like, no, really. I feel fine. It does seem like an odd thing. Like just like that. It was instant. Like, that's how it feels. Like when everyone in this room knows what it feels like to get kicked in the balls, but everyone in this room also knows how good it feels when that pain goes away. Like that instant rush of, oh my God, that's, it's not hurting anymore happened. And I was fine. And I didn't take any more pain medicine the rest of the day. I stayed up until one o'clock and watched Beauty and the Beast in Ultra 4K. Yeah. Is it the first thing you watched? And a lot of first honest to God, full atmos vision 4K thing I've watched on that TV. Oldest time. And I went, I literally went, holy shit, this TV is fucking awesome. Like the first day after we got this TV hung on the wall, I don't know if it was just on TV or if Tonya played it, but it was the very beginning of Casino Royale came on where it's all black and white at everything. And then like when the point came where it went into color and went into this like action sequence, I was standing there. I was like, I feel like they are standing in the fucking room. People, people seeing the Wizard of Oz for the first time in 1939 had the same reaction when it went to color. So anyway, I had a picture of what I'm Melissa Stones. I was trying to find it. I watched Beauty and the Beast and then I went to bed about one o'clock. I went ahead and took one of the less powerful pain pills, not the Percocet. I didn't take the Percocet. And, and, so we haven't seen the action in the, the barter channel yet. I'm waiting to see how things play out. Got up the next morning, my back inside is still sore to the touch. Because first of all, I was walking around for four hours, pushing on my fucking lower back because trying to claw out my kidney, you know, and then the stone, but it was like a two to three millimeter stone. I didn't even see it. But when the, when they did the CAT scan, this is like a four, four millimeter stone. And you don't have any other stones. And you're, by the way, you're liver and you're prostate and all this other stuff we could see are fine. That's good. That's good news. But so, and then today, I was, I was thinking I wasn't going to be able to go to work because they sometimes, they say it could take up to two weeks to pass a kidney stone. And I'm like, I can't do this for two weeks. I can't be on Percocet for two weeks. Seriously? I know, right? As far as kidney stones go. I did, because I think now I talked to my doctor's office today and they said, well, you just want to make sure you're drinking lots of fluid and keeping that, keeping everything going because there's a possibility you didn't pass it. And if you didn't, it could go back up the other way and you don't want that to happen. Obviously, not God. No. So, but I don't feel like that. I just feel sore from it. So it's going to take a few days, I think, for it to ease off. And so, I've decided no more soda. I don't drink a lot of soda, but I'm not going to tend to fade. And I'm going to stop because it'll help me lose weight. I won't drink any more soda. And I got to lay off and not apparently not eat as much dairy because of the calcium. But I don't eat a lot of dairy, but I do eat. Well, they need to like get the stone and then see what kind it is. Yeah, it's not going to happen because that's what went down the drain. Because it's either a uric acid stone or a calcium stone. So you have to change your diet depending on which one. But well, what I'm going to do is just try to eat all, not eat like an asshole and drink more water. I got to eat assholes. Well, that helps. I'm going to eat like an asshole. I'm going to eat plenty of asshole, and then so that came and went. And that was my adventure this week. And I also watched a movie, not Beauty and the Beast, called Smile 2. Oh, it's all the first one. Have you seen the first one? Okay. Yeah. If you haven't seen the first one, it's helpful to see the first one. Weird. It's not necessary, per se, but it helps. Because you get up, it picks up pretty much right where the first one left off. And what's really good about Smile 2 is that they don't spend a lot of time explaining what's happening to the people in the movie because they assume you've seen it and you know what's happening. They do give you a little brief rundown of it later on in the movie. I like it when movies do that. They're just like, there's a two in the title. We have to assume that you saw one. And if you didn't, you walked into this and it has a two on it. So like, just figure it out or don't. You run into legal obligation to explain what happened in the first movie. Go rent it. But and Smile was pretty good. Smile 2 was exceedingly better. Wow. Really, it's rare, especially in the horror genre. And especially with these sort of movies where it almost feels like they're just coming up with something to make a movie and make a buck and move on. The first one was pretty good. It had Kevin Bacon's daughter in it. I think I mentioned this on the show before when I watched it like last year or whatever. I watched it. But we watched it. It's on Paramount Plus. It's on your streaming platform of choice. And I do recommend it. Three and a half stars, as I said, check it out. It was truly a it was one of the scarier movies. This movie had many, many points scared me. Like I had it been legitimately. I mean, there's jump scares in it, but this one had some pretty terrifying shit in it. And not like gross you out terrifying like in the substance when I explained that one last week or recently. Not like that. It was truly kind of a mind fuck here and there. And it was good. I really enjoyed it. I do recommend it for horror fans, especially. It wasn't safe to check it out. And that's my that's it for me. I haven't seen one or two, but I know how two ends. And I probably will see the third because that ending is goddamn. It was unbelievable. Like the ending was the whole thing was just unexpected. Like the the writing in this movie, the acting, the lead actress whose name eludes me at the moment. I'm sorry. Look it up. You have the internet. If you're listening to the show, do the work people. Come on. What do you want from me? Unless you're buying the thumb drives for me, in which case, right? You're late on your posted for the Perka sets. You're spending all your money on my Perka sets. I thought you were putting the show on thumb drives. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. COD. I'm not stuck in that. I'm not in prison. I think. Yeah. Probably. That's a great question. Yeah. There's melly thumb drive. Has this been up your ass? Probably. Yeah, good. Yeah. Fine. Good. I paid action for that. I want to do it. But the writing, the performance that she gives in this movie is just unfiltered. She has been in a few other things, but this was a command performance as far as I'm concerned. Once again, just like I said about Demi Moore in the substance that I don't think this woman is going to get the recognition she deserves because this is a horror film and then I got a sequel horror film and that one's not going to make it into the Academy Awards, which doesn't matter. But I like when good actors receive the proper recognition and she deserves every bit of it because she worked her ass off for this movie. It was really, truly surprisingly good. You know, I liked the first one. Okay. I expected to like the second one. Okay. I liked the second one a whole lot more. So yeah, smile to check it out. That's it. That's all I'm going to say for the whole rest of the show. Y'all take it from here. I'm glad you're feeling better. Thank you. Me too. God. Me too. I wish I hadn't brought a soda to drink tonight because sugar. I could drink that. I just can't drink it. Is it the sugar? Is that what it is? Oh, okay. I might be all right then. Fun. Don't worry about this. Oh, boy. I feel so bad for you. That sounds awful. It was just it was terrible. It was terrible. It was the worst thing I've ever had to go through. Physically physical pain is the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life. I hope this isn't a chronic condition because I do not know if I can survive another one. I probably can, but I don't want to have to find out. You might get really good at it. My wife's friend has a chronic, she's always passing kidney stones, but she doesn't do anything to fucking try to change your life stuff. We'll have them all the time, like all the time. The worst being when she had six and one and seven in the other kidney and they had to break them up then or she had to get bilateral stents. I first got married. She said that was like the worst of her life. The doctor said we want you to pass this normally because we do not want to put a stent in because they can cause problems too. That's like pain on an entirely different scale, even from a kidney stone. I'm like, "Oh, you shouldn't feel it." She's like, "Fuck you. Fuck you and you and you." I always love it when a doctor's like, "You shouldn't feel this." Yeah. That's weird because I fucking do. "Are you calling me a liar or what the fuck?" As the guy is cutting the cysts out of my face, this shouldn't hurt. Well, it does. Am I imagining it? I've had some shit burned off at the dermatologist floor for them to analyze and they're like, "Oh, can you feel that?" Yeah, you're like, "Cut it out of me." Yeah, you fucked up. You fucked up. You didn't know me right because I can't. No, no, no, no, I didn't fuck up. You can't feel this. You just feel pain too good. That's what I can. I bet you I could describe this pain exactly the way it feels. Accurately. It's also, I don't know, it's also nice to feel a little bit of it because otherwise, you just hear weird sounds. Oh, I know. You know what I mean? All the thing in the sewing and snipping thing. Is that my skin? Is that inside me taking something out of me? I knew you were going to take something out of me but I didn't know it was going to sound like this. Get to ask them all the creepy questions. What's that smell? Is that my skin burning? Yes. Oh, okay. Yes, it is. Weird. It smells like meat. It is meat and it's burning. It's burning meat inside your body. We're burning it. It smells like it should hurt a lot. Some of the meat we're burning is healthy. Some of the meat we're burning is healthy meat because it's attached to gross meat. That's delicious, isn't it? Those guys on a lie? It smells like it should hurt. It should hurt. You know those guys on the plane crash and the Andes that had to eat each other when they cooked the flesh? I bet it smelled better than those. This is what their meals smell like. Your face is burning. This is a little pepper, a little salt. You have to shave a guy real thin. You do have to shave a guy. You have to shave a guy. I like the lean cuts. I have to face cuts. What have you been up to? None of that. None of that. Good. Oh, man. Oh boy. Sucks. Sucks. It sucks. It sucks. I've been playing World of Warcraft. Oh, I know. I saw your name on my battle net. You're like, whoa. He's playing an anniversary. It is. It is. It did three fresh servers. They did a PVE server, a PVP server and a hardcore server. Nice. And I created a character on the PVP server and then breast. Now is Nikki playing with you? She is. Okay. So I got home on Thursday and I was like, well, I'm home first. So I'm going to make a character and I made a character. And then a little bit later, Miller had plans to play as well and Dalton, too, guitar room and Dalton, hashtag the Miller from the Steam Machine podcast. And so he and I create our characters on horde. And then I get a message from Miller saying, hey, I can't create a character because like, horde is locked because they're doing this thing where they're like, they're balancing it. Yeah, which is like, I know about Blizzard's balance. I get it. I get it. But y'all, this is classic. You see, 20 years ago, that shit didn't fucking matter. But whatever. Whatever. I didn't play it then. I wasn't playing 20 years ago, but so it's like, okay, well, fuck. All right. I was. And then you were playing. Did you play on it first came out? I didn't know that, man. At launch. Yeah. Me and the kids played a little bit. Gage was more watching than anything. I didn't understand what I was doing because I was looking for the next Ultima. Oh, yeah. I wasn't finding it. Yeah, you probably never will. I haven't found it at least. Go ahead. I've been like, all right. I'm going to cut you off. No, you're fine. I mean, you want to talk about Ultima? Yeah. Like we'd love that. We could do that instead of my fucking intro. Another ultimate episode. Way more interesting. We should just talk about all the Ultima shit. You guys did an Ultima episode. Yeah, we did a long time ago. Yeah. We're not before I host it is when I came as a guest to talk about it. And a really good one. So anyway, balance. Yeah. So we decided to fuck it and then go, we just created characters on the PVE server because we're going to all get it. Everybody can get in and play with people. Yeah. So we did that. And man, I can tell you that it is crazy how chill versus no chill like switching those servers was because it's like, you don't really even start PVPing on a PVP server until like, I don't know, level 12. You're like, yeah, you like level 12, but even like level one, I mean, it is just like, whoa, this server is fucking toxic and shit. Holy fuck man. Apparently people have been waiting for this. Just people at chat. They're just, yeah, they have been waiting. Like finally, I could expel all the thoughts from my body. Everything that would have gotten me banned before. I'm going to let out. And then yeah, on the PVE server, it's like, it's pretty chill, except man, I didn't play wow in 2004. I did play it in like 2006. I don't remember it being non-stop fucking politics talk. Like, it's non-stop. It's fucking non-stop in general and trade. It's just like, cool. I'm really going to move this chat to that tab and fucking forget about it forever. I'm here to play a game. Because wow, yeah, this is like two. Yeah, it's like just too much. Trying to get away from this shit. Exactly, exactly. Play this to escape, man. And it is fucking not. That's for sure. I mean, it's just every time I go like, every time I'm like, I wonder what's going on in this tab. Click. Yeah. Okay, still going. Still open in the bag with says dead dove. Don't know what I expected. Right. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to rename the chat window. Dead dove. I'm doing that. But yeah, man, I've been playing as a, because I'm me, I rolled two different characters. One, one that I play when Nikki feels like playing, and then the other one that I level when she doesn't feel like right, which is they're about the same level. So it's kind of one of those things where it's like, yeah, I could probably take a break and not do anything. But whatever, it's fun and exciting right now. It is crazy to like go into a like a fucking starting area at a game that I didn't play at launch. But I remember going back to these areas because you start in those areas regardless. And it's like they these areas were fucking packed, man. You got like 25 people fighting over a boar to spawn like a fucking boar. Yeah. So it was a fucking madness. I remember when it was like that originally like it was like that then and of course I was not terribly familiar with the interface. It was all kind of new to me. Yeah. Still coming off of Altima or whatever. Sure. And I remember getting in and thinking, well, God, how the fuck are we ever any of us going to ever get to move forward? Because it was, it was like a stadium packed full of people all fighting over the one thing that spawn as soon as a fucking animal would spawn dead. Yeah. Plus one XP, you know, something. It's cool though. I mean, I loved it. Like that first night was just like, holy shit, this fucking rule. People everywhere and like people coming up and they're like, invite and say, fuck yeah. Let's get these boars together. Yeah. Yeah. It was just, it reminds me of what I was saying about Overwatch Classic. When we, when John and I jumped in and they're playing the old theme and the old characters out of the old powers and they're saying the old voice lines that we haven't heard in the ears and thing, you know, that gave me those feels to, you know, that kind of excitement, which is nice. It's just nice to see, it's just nice to see so many people in a fucking low level area, like fucking, and these low level gear. But then like I go back yesterday, because there was something I needed to do in that area for like a shaman quest and it's like, holy shit, this is already a fucking ghost town. Because everybody's just fucking chewed through that content. We're in different zones now. Miller's tearing through it, man. Oh, yeah. Fucking fast. Yeah. Fucking fast, dude. Because it was like, having no kids will do that for you. I mean, it was, yeah. Don't we know it. But yeah, it's been fun. Been playing as a shaman with Nikki. She's been playing a warrior, so we got the tank heels combo. And then the character that I really enjoy playing was the, I have a forsaken mage, mage. I never played mage before. It's fucking super fucking fun. It's like really, really fun. Now, is this going on indefinitely? I mean, is this now an option or is you can play pretty much ongoing? They're going to do, it is going to turn into the burning crusade. Okay. Like that's about where I stopped playing. That's where I came on. I came on the burning crusade. Sam, we just missed each other. So yeah, I think they're going to do that in like a year. Okay. But yeah, people are fucking, it's crazy because it's like, I see people who are already like level like 35 and shit. And it's like, damn, dude. Like, holy shit. How do you do that? And masturbate. And that is a good, that is a really good question. I don't know. Got to stop at some point, one of the other. But it's been, it's been fun. And then I also have been playing a little Diablo one solo. And man, that game, I fucking love that game. The game is so fucking good. I never played the first one. I've heard from you and from many other people how good it was. But I never played the first one. I played the second one. I do strongly believe that Diablo one is totally one of those where it's like, if you start it on two, you're not going to be able to go back. I don't think you're going to love one. And it's, I can see that because I started on Quake two. And when I went and tried to play Quake one, it did not, yeah, it did not have the same feel. And I didn't really, it was okay. Yeah, but they feel totally different. Oh, this is quaint. Get me back to the rail gun. Right. Well, see, that's how I felt when I played Quake two stock. It's because we play like rail arena so much. Yeah, we're playing Quake two stock was just like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, it does suck. It's a pistol with a fuck. I don't want a pistol, I'm a handgun. This is bullshit crap, he's shit. I got one shot flying through the air fucking. But Diablo one is like so different because it's slower, but it's also like, it's not, it's not an open world. It's like a fucking tunnel. It's like you are tunneling level by level. It's a dungeon crawler. Right, okay. And I know there are dungeons in the other games, but it's like in Diablo one, it's like, it's just the dungeon. Like that's, anything you fight is going to be in this fucking dungeon. And what's fun about it is like, I'm playing a warrior in that game. And it's like, I got in the situation where it's like, I'm on the fucking, fucking going through floors, just tearing through it. It's like, I got some really good drops. And it's like this fucking rules, like a fucking unique armor. It's just like, this is fucking like this shit that had never happened to me, you know, like when I was playing this and cheating, not cheating this time. Right. Diablo one trainers, man, fucking wild thing. But like, so I get in the situation, I was like, man, I'm fucking, I'm kicking ass. It's like, I get to the butcher, go toe to toe with him, like fucking destroy him. It's like, this is great. This is going to be fantastic. Get down to like the 12th floor. And it's like, I die to this like mob of like these acid spitting creatures. And the way it works in Diablo one is, well, your shit's gone, dude, unless you go and get it, it's fucking gone. It's like dark souls. It's like the shit's gone, man. It's fucking go get it. And then so it's like the situation where it's like, all right, fine, I'm just like, you lose all the shit you're holding. So you lose all your gold, all your equipment. And it's just like, I actually take it back. You don't lose all your gold. You keep a portion of it. So just buying fucking shit off the fucking smith. It's fine. I can take all this crappy shit. And then you go and then you go fucking crawl back down to where you were, and then you die again. And then you're like, fuck. And then you're mad at that. I'm like, all right, well, buy crappier shit. So I go try to get my shit. And then that happened four times. Oh, no. But then you get it and you're like, fuck you. Fuck you. Thought you could stop me. You're wrong. Larry David inhabited your body in that movie. Fuck you. That's the best. That's what makes that game so much different than the other games. And it's like, because I feel like Diablo one puts you in this situation where it's like, well, I mean, you can quit if you want to. But you're like, you're going to like, if you close this right, because I'm, I'm fucking, oh, so if you exit the game of shit, it's gone for cause I'm masochistic about this shit. And I played single player Diablo and multiplayer. So what that means is that, yes, there's no saving. It's like, if you exit that shit, it's like, okay, that's why. Right. But I like to play it that way. I don't have to play it. I don't, I'll be fucking perfectly honest with you. I have no idea how it's handled in the actual single player game, because I have never played it. I've played it my alone solo, but I always do it multiplayer mode. And that was because back in the day, people could just join your game. So I would be like, well, fuck, I'll just play again and people can join in and I can kill them. So it's like, so that's why I always play. No one joins this game because it's like fucking impossible. Like you got to like, everybody has to have a fucking port open. And it's like, Oh, yeah, you've got to make modifications to your router. Battle net is so old that it's like, interview your username. And it's like, it's your character's name. It's like whatever you input. So I don't even know if that works or not. But anyway, that's my Diablo one shit. It's been, it's been fun. I've been up to very little, as usual, and that's okay. You got a new TV. I got a new TV. My buddy Ian gave me a sweet ass TV. Hell yeah. It's definitely the biggest and brightest TV that I've ever owned. What's the first thing you watched on it? Some fucking old shit, I bet. Some deep space nine. I have four by three. It took the black, you know, the middle of half. I can see the, I can see the pixel. These black bars are the signer. Great. Man, that black is crazy. Now, and they weren't before. They're like a deep black. Yeah. So much. Bars are vantablack. God damn, so much better. Now my TV has a vantablack bars. It's crazy. But yeah, that was cool. So yeah, I put up a shit load of Christmas lights. Really? A lot of Christmas lights. I put up so many Christmas lights. I woke up the next morning and felt like I was sore. Like I had done some shit. You did. Like you put up Christmas? Yeah, but I mean, not, I mean, I did, but still it was just like, man, this, I remember this feeling. Yeah, this was, were you on the roof and shit? I did. Yeah, I mean, a little bit of time on the roof. Outline. He outlined his house in Christmas lights, basically, house, the windows and the roof. And I can't do the ridge line. I can't find a good way to do the ridge line on top of the roof, because I don't have a ridge vent. So there's like really nothing to get a hold of, except for trying to slide shit under the shingle and fuck that. I am not asking for that. I mean, I could go like full clerk as well and staple ship, but that's a good idea either. Do that. Just leave them up. Yeah, they'll go on. I was thinking about getting one of those tension wires like we. Oh, at my house. What a true. Yeah. All right. Just go right across the top of the house. Hear me out. Let's develop RGB shingles. Oh, yeah. Trademark trademark. Trademark. It has always had to be fucking like crazy colors. You just go, uh, taupe. When you're a single color app. Like they look like that. They're like, you know, somebody who buy that shit. Yeah. I would like a purple roof today. That would be pretty sweet. You know, if you'll be like showing images and shit on it though. Oh, I'd be like, you want to go watch National Lampoon's Christmas vacation on my roof. Yeah. Like the house that Brandon and I buy together and she's like, we're just going to put porn on this fucking roof all day. Until the cops show up. You're not a special brand of anarchy. What law would you be breaking? I guess is the probably just copyright. This is all made. Did you pay for this? I made it. That's me. Gets back in the patrol car. This is edge mix 2013. I've seen this one. Sir, this is the pain Olympics. I don't know what that is. And I don't want to. Oh, boy. It's just a bunch of guys getting kidney stones and then trying to run. No, so yeah, that's about it. Thankfully, I've had no major medical issues. I did have to take my wife to get a colonoscopy. That was awesome calling it. Oh, I wish. No, I did joke with her about doing some stuff though, because no more leaves in the gutter. I heard a podcast with Lisa Ann on it. She talked about that. She's like, for a good like 12 hour window after my colonoscopy, like, I'm good. I helped those 12 hours. I did. So they estimate, and I've still got to go, I'm sure, around and around with some insurance companies, but they estimate that it'll only cost $1,300 out of your pocket. Yeah, it's supposed to be zero. Love it. Mine came out because it was a screening, but I think they didn't code his as a screening. So yeah, I should say, and so they're going to have to, he's going to have to fight for it. Yeah, that should be fun. But yeah, other than that, it's been pretty good. Not. Yeah, that's about it. Just Christmas lights and colonoscopies. She handled it pretty well. She had a totally different prep than the horror story. I expected it to be super bad. And they were just like, no man, take a bunch of this, my relax. That was pretty much it. I'm going to ask for that. Like, like four dulcolax tablets at certain times and like, you're fine. I have to, I have to go back in six months. I found out today, I have to get another one in six months. So I'm going to request a different prep. This podcast is depressing. Let's get in that way. I spent more time in the hospital in the last month than I have in the last 10 years, if no, not longer. It is 100 years old, this podcast, in podcast years. That's true. I mean, it does make sense. But no, how about you, what's your title or how? Let's see. I think last week, I did, I talked about how good the penguin is. You did. When it's still fucking great. That's on my list. I cannot wait to see it. I started Baldur's Gate 3. Nice. I created Pudge Higginbottom, which is my arcade trickster from Dave's game. We played it with John. Probably my favorite DD character per played. So I made him, I read arcade trickster sucks, but I was like, oh, well, really it is. So it's the game's problem, not mine. I'm going to enjoy playing an arcade trickster. I'm going to join that. Haven't made it very far. I think I just I can see a story on like waiting outside for me. So that's where I stopped. Hey, I just want to say that like, I know that you are good at playing the Indeed's like, just in general, you're good at playing the game. But if luck were a thing that you could use up like an expendable resource, you would have had none left after playing that character. That character was the luckiest fucking character I've ever known. And I haven't played in that many games, but holy shit, it's like, character I've ever talked shit with, and then gotten to back it up. Normally that happens. Just get fucking stopped. He's like, you can go on. He's going to come through. He's going to come through. The first he's going to roll a 17 watch. Watch. He did. He rolled a 17. He won't do it eight more times the session. No, you did. I can still endure, man. I don't even know where that is, unfortunately. That sucks. Oh, you need to frame that. I'll clone it. Let's see. And then I purchased today the Castlevania Dominus collection, which is the DS Castlevanias. Cool. So the Order of Echlesia, Portrait of Ruin, Don of Sorrow, which Portrait of Ruin. I love all three of them. I love especially Portrait of Ruin. So I bought that just because at some time I want to stream Portrait of Ruin. So that's on there to do that. Other than that, I've forced myself to put in as much time as I could bear on Beauty and the Beast. So I played that for too long. It's always good when you have to force yourself to do something. I also feel like I played it for too long. Played it, though. I was like, weird. I bet we all played it different amounts and it still felt like too long to all three. Well, it felt like too long pretty early on for me. I played it through the fucking stage, which is normally where I quit it, but I played through it like I at least want to make it to a boss. So I made it to a boss. You made it farther than I did. Which is a third of the way. I played through 33% of the game. Damn, that's a lot. I know how the other 66% goes. But yeah, you guys want to roll on into the game, movie game. Yeah, we'll do it. All right. We're at about an hour. The movie talk. I watched this movie a fucking lot as a kid. Fucking a lot, a lot. I had never seen it before Friday night or Saturday night. Will Islands would let you believe? A Disney movie. Disney movies I could see. Was it because you liked it or because you had like, was it a situation where you had it? Yeah, if I, my parents wouldn't take me out to see movies, but if I could get my hands on a movie of VHS cassette, then I watched that movie a lot. And I feel like it's also one of Disney's more problematic messaging of a lot of their older stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's not wrong. But it's not as heavy handed as some of their stuff. It's kind of the fairy tale, right? I don't know it's not a French fairy tale. I don't know a Disney change because I never read the fairy tale. I don't have any here. There's probably a lot more sex in it. French. I have a hope so. There wasn't any in this cartoon. I watched it. Just another six. She rated cartoon at zero sex. But it had blood. I saw blood twice. And I was like, fuck man, there's blood in this. Fuck yeah. Well, I can't name another Disney cartoon where it's like, there's blood in that twice. Is there blood in Bambi? Well, God, I hope not. Probably not more than one. Hey, she made it. I'm pretty sure when Thumper fucks that other brown bunny, there's like blood in that. I think that's it. Thumper, it's her first time. Go easy. Can't. I've already gotten started. She's touching my belly. I can't. I had a good, I liked this movie. Part of it for me was, I just never watched it because it just never came up. I've watched a lot of Disney movies. Most of them, honestly, up to a point. But this one just didn't catch my attention and back then. I was, you know, 18, 19 years old when this came out. So it wasn't really appealing to me. And then after that, all we've ever had is boys in our family. So the boys haven't ever really gone out of their way to want to watch Beauty and the Beast. I feel like Beauty and the Beast is a hard sell for a boy. And I think that's why there's blood in it twice. Because I remember, I watched this as a kid and I remember being like, "Yep, all right. I mean, hey, I didn't not enjoy that. But I'll probably never see it again until I'm 42." And I was right. Because the second time I saw it was last night. Right. And we had very little costs to watch it. But I was able, first of all, I'm an overly emotional, 51-year-old man who was coming off with some pretty hard drugs. I really enjoyed this. You know, when you put it that way. I had a good time. So I got, Tonya had already gone to bed and I went ahead and hooked my AirPods up to our Apple TV and washed it with my noise-canceling headphones in. And so I could hear everything really well and it was like the music was good. I recognized the songs. I had heard the songs before. Because I've been to Disney World since Beauty and the Beast's come out. And I mean, you get to the point in the park where there's nothing but Beauty and the Beast and you walk into the shop and they're playing the fucking soundtrack from it. It feels like a... Be our guest. Even the Beauty and the Beast song played on the radio back then. Non-stop. I mean, it was a pop single. Dude, I remember, I never watched this movie when it came out, but I remember the marketing. It was big. It was crazy. It was insane. It was everywhere. They did, I think they did a McDonald's promotion. Oh yeah. I think they... The course of the Beauty and the Beast. That song was on the radio and of course, be our guest. And then there was the... Just all the songs were familiar to me enough. And I've always liked kind of musicals, you know? I like musicals, okay? Depending on the subject matter. But I thought that it was... Of course, I told you, it was in glorious 4K. And boy, they upscaled the shit out of that movie because it looked so beautiful. And I had forgotten honestly how good Disney is at animation. Like, cell-shaded animation and not the 3D stuff. All that's great. Was this a Renaissance era? Disney movie? Like, where does this fall? It's in 1991. I think it was. It is right around the time when there was a big... A lad and all that stuff. Lion King, Little Mermaid. Yes. It fell right in that zone. And boy, they're just so good at it. And the colors and the details and everything that they put into this. The background art in this movie, I think is really, really good. Beautiful. And like a lot of the... The village and the castle. And even the shots in the village where it's like... It's done like a movie. Like, it's done like very cinematically. But then as a kid, I didn't really think about it. But as an adult, I'm like, wow, they fucking did... They designed that background the way that it is to make it look like it was a long, wide shot that sweeps to another long, wide shot. And it's like, they had to really think about it. I mean, obviously, when you're using a camera filming, you have to think about that too. But it's just impressive to be like, yeah, they plan this out like a movie. Like they plan this out like shots. And it's like modern day shots, you know? I thought that was really impressive. I did too. And I really enjoyed it from a technical standpoint. I was able to really enjoy it. And then I also liked the story. I thought it was cute. And I thought it had all of the stuff. You know, the ups and the downs and the sad moment and the triumphant end and the... No, sorry. Were there voice actors in this that I would have recognized? Do you recognize the name Robbie Benson? No. Okay, well, he was beast. Okay. Paige O'Hara. Negative. Bell. Angela Lansbury. That one we discussed previously, yeah. That's... She brings the gravitas. Mrs. Potts. The teakettle. Do you know the name Jerry Orbot? (clears throat) You would know his face. You would know Jerry Orbot's face. I had no idea it was him until I watched a TikTok of him doing it. His actual performance in the booth. And it was just like, God damn, he is so good. Yes. It's Lumière. He's the candle. Lumière. Because he's on Law & Order. He's like the big guy on... Oh shit. Okay, okay, yeah. Look up David Ogden steers. I know that guy. I'm a match fan, so I know that. David Ogden steers. Steers, excuse me. I read it on an episode. I read it in the next generation. By the way. Walks on a Troy Falls and loving them, and then he ends up... Yes, I remember. Sorry. Did he play in the movie? Cogsworth. Okay, was he a clock and Star Trek? Yes. The clock person. It's in his contract. His write states that he must always and only ever play a clock. In fact, at the end of the movie, when the spell is broken and Cogsworth turns into a person again, he's checked the fuck out. They had to get another guy to do it. Oh, there's a clock parts inside. Oh, he's literally a clock, yeah. It's really weird watching a clock perform surgery, but if you watched him in a match, you would have seen that. He's like the sister in toys. Yes. There's various and sundry other actors and actresses in this movie. I figured that it would have had like, you know, considering how much marketing there was for it and how much, you know, how big a movie it was, well, I figured there would have been like really well-known stars. I can't say that. There is today, you know, usually when there's a big animated movie, it's got some people reading it. Yeah, they're using voice actors who really shouldn't be in it as opposed to quality voice television. They wouldn't be celebrity. Yeah, probably. Well, Chris Rhett, they got page more. Her, she was kind of a fine for Disney. She, her singing voice is fucking beautiful and unbelievable. It's a really good, her singing voice is amazing, but I think honestly, the only thing she's ever done in her entire career has been voicing Belle. So she's been in, you know, the beauty and the beast, like Belle's magical world, like the TV cartoon. Did y'all check any of those out? Enchanted. Oh boy. She was the voice of Belle and Ralph breaks the internet when all the Disney princesses, you know, they got her to be Belle. All of that, that's just basically been her entire career. So I think that's shaped, I think she was a fine for that movie. But so I thought it was a fun movie. I loved the beast's expressions. You know, they've really, again, Disney has this magical way of drawing expressions of comedy or funny expressions or something where you've got this big mean guy and then suddenly he like kind of winces, like an embarrassment or something. And it's just, it's one of those things. It's the same as when I watched Aladdin, and the same is when I watched Lion King. I could say, God damn, they are good at their job. Disney may be a vile evil corporation for the most part, but they were making some really great movies in the 90s. So Disney started out by making animations, you know, and it reminded me of this bit that I saw of this comedian, and he's like, he's like, you ever go to a friend's house? They don't have hunts or they don't, they don't have Heinz ketchup? And like, I can't, like, what the fuck, man? You could have just called and I could have picked up some Heinz ketchup. We could have all had Heinz ketchup, but no, you got to make a statement. He's like, but, you know, he's like, I want ketchup that was made by a giant corporation that was built on making fucking ketchup. And it's like, that's Disney. They were a giant corporation, but they were built on fucking animation, and they're real good at it. And I sometimes lose sight of that. So I was really kind of glad that we got this this time around, because I got to see a movie that I had never watched. I watched all the way through, and I got to appreciate it again, kind of the, maybe the magic that a lot of people felt when they first went and saw it. You know, maybe at the time it wasn't for me, but now I really did have a good time watching it. You have sold me, I'm ready to watch it. I'm ready to watch it. I need some drugs, and then I'm going to watch it. And then I bet I experience what people want to watch it with. You know, when they watched it for the first time. But, Dave, did you watch the TV series? Yeah, I wanted to check it out, because I'm about to spoil the end of Beauty and the Beast for anybody who cares. Oh, you've done that. Oh, yeah, sorry, John. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah. The Beast turns back into a man. And so on Disney Plus, I did a search for Beauty and the Beast. I wasn't intuitively like, "I know where to find Beauty and the Beast by navigating through the categories." So I typed it in and it popped up some other Beauty and the Beast shit. So when the movie was over, I was like, "Well, there's some other shit here." And I looked at Nicki and he's like, "Right, he's a beast in him." So did he turn back into a beast, or does this take place in between Belle getting turning into a prisoner? And then like, so we turned it on and I didn't fucking find the answer out, because I was like, "No, I'm not going to watch this." I felt like a fellow that happens while the Stockholm sets in. Right. So you got to have time to develop that. It was just like his superpower. He can just turn into Beast whenever he's like, "Oh, fuck." Yeah, it's pretty bad. It's pretty cool, right? Nicki, we were watching it and I was like, "I got to be honest with you. If I were a fucking Beast, I would straight up be like, "You know what? I think I'm just going to be a Beast. I'm sorry all you servants who got turned into clocks and shit, but this is kind of badass for me." Y'all seem to be coping really well, so we're going to just go ahead and stay. Yeah, cool. I've seen the TikToks and then I confirm with Melissa, because on TikTok, a lot of people are talking about like, "Oh, we're excited to see the Beast turn back." And then they're disappointed because they thought the Beast was more attractive than what he turns into. He is. And Melissa was like, "Yeah, he was better as the Beast." Yeah, and I feel like Disney was like, "Oh, man, dude, behemoths and final fantasy look so badass. Let's make like a brown one, and he's a person, he's the Beast." So if he's a brown one, he's a brown behemoth. A brown behemoth. A brown behemoth. A brown behemoth. If you don't mind, I'm going to just, it was a little explanation of the story. Lay this out a little bit. Since John hasn't seen it either. I'm plugging my ear holes like right now. No, no, I'm going to give you some back, some, the introduction to it. Just what it's about. So basically what it is is like, a long time ago, there's, and I've got a question that I have to ask after this. So you guys can help me with this. Okay. A long time ago, after there was this prince in this big castle, and this old ugly woman showed up in a rainstorm and asked for shelter. And the prince being a snotty piece of shit said, "Fuck you." French. It's French. He's just French. He said, "Fuck you." And he said, "With the chin." And he said, "You can't come in here and stay here. Gross old woman, I want you in my house, in my castle." And he's like, "But I've got this rose. I'll give you this rose as payment if you'll let me stay in your castle tonight." And he's like, "Didn't I just say get the fuck out?" I'm quoting by the way. This is the movie. Okay. Yeah. I'm reading it line from line from line, get the fuck out. Said, "Did I stutter?" Said, "Did I stutter?" "I don't want your fucking rose. I want you to get the fuck out of my house." She's like, "Oh, you're a fucking asshole." And by the way, I'm not an old woman. I'm a beautiful prince. Enchantress. Enchantress. She's gorgeously beautiful. And she's like, "And now, since you're such a prick, I'm turning you into a beast." And instead of being like, "Sweet." She's like, "Oh God." I'm ugly. I'm so ugly. People are scared of me and I'm ugly. I live in this massive, awesome castle with unlimited food and things to wait on me. But I'm ugly. And now my carriage is like a cool fucking spider. And so some dumb thing pulled out a horse. He said so. I'm going to punish all the innocents in this castle as well. And she says so. That was on her. That's her, man. That's that fucking Enchantress. Sorry to jump in. But I turned to Nick. You know, I was like, "You know who the real fucking villain is? It's that fucking Enchantress." He's like, "I'm going to punish you." And you know what? All the people who work for you. Right. You're a whole ass cat. What's that boy eight years old? The fuck did they do? Well, he's a couple out. And he's frozen in time until everybody he knows is dead. Then we'll unfreeze him and he's a child at a time. Well, his mom teaches him about love? No, she refuses. So here's what happens. She says, "I'm going to turn you into this horrible beast." Until you can learn to love, but also you have to make someone love you. And you have until this magical rose that I tried to give you until the last petal falls off of this rose. And that will happen on your 21st birthday. If you haven't found love by your 21st birthday, this rose's last petal will fall and you will remain a beast forever. But that rose stays alive? 'Cause then you can lock them down without some magic. It's magic. Oh, it's magic. It floats in a little glass dome. And he covets the rose and he keeps the rose safe. And all this other stuff. This freestyle. Mr. freestyle, like he's really into this rose because it's his ticket to not being a beast, you know? 'Cause he doesn't like himself. And so apparently in Chantras now, as they've said, punishes everyone in the fucking castle. But they all still wait on him and love him and try to talk him into how they can... They're working an angle on him. And like, all right, we're going to take the friendly approach and try to help this guy get some and have someone fall in love with him. So he will turn... So he will quote, yes. Oh yeah, after he's the beast, he's still a dick. And he has to learn to love, John. But everyone's scared of him because he's a beast and he roars and he... And he was an asshole to begin with. Yes. Now he's a beast asshole. So yeah, so now he's a real asshole. Only he's like massive and super powered, right? But so that is the premise of the story. He has until... He finds wolves like Jacob York wishes he could. Here's my question. Yes, he does. Yeah, he's talking a lot of wolves. But they took... They got a piece of it. Is that like one wolf after the other? Or is that two at the same time? I feel like it probably doesn't matter, but I'm just curious. This was 15 wolves. So I don't think Jacob could find 15 wolves. Only one way to find out. Let's get him. Get him, boys. So my question, I said I had a question. Right. Based on what I've just said. I'm not working on achievements, yeah. Okay, at one point in the movie, Lumiere, Jerry Orbach, states that they have been in this form for 10 years, waiting for the right woman to come along. Right. The beginning, if you'll remember, I mentioned that it was his 21st birthday is when he's supposed to happen by. Yeah. Now, by the time this movie happens, the rose is starting to lose its petals. So we can assume at this point that he's 21. I don't know. See, when you were telling the story, I didn't realize that it was explained that it was his 21st birthday. It says that in a little scroll at the beginning when they tell the story of the Enchantress and they're showing the... I see where you're going with this then. Okay. That means he was 11 years old when he was an asshole to the old woman who then turned him into a massive beast. So he was a child, but his parents aren't animated anything in the castle. So he was running this show at 11. I think there was a despair. What is it? A disparity? A disparity. The math isn't mapping. Because there's no way he was 11, but they said they've been in this form for 10 years. So maybe... Maybe I heard 21st birthday, but remember I had mine. No, he's canceling headphones. Right. And I can actually hear and I had subtitles going. Right. Yeah, yeah. So... No, actually, I turned him off because I couldn't stand to see him over that beautiful ultra 4K high definition. I had closed captioning on, and it's super annoying on Disney+. It's so cute. Yeah, because even Henry was like, "Why is it covering up like so much of the screen?" You can change it. And I was like, "I don't know. I'm too lazy to look it up." Confirmed. 10 years. Chris Piffley said for his 21st birthday. So that wouldn't be our guest song, "Lumi Eyre" says 10 years. That would make him 11 years old when the Enchantress cursed him. Maybe the Enchantress was his mom. Oh. Maybe. Maybe. And she... Mom! And she was like, "I know this will work out." And if it doesn't, he's a sweet beast. He just doesn't understand how cool it is. Yeah. He's a sweet piece of beast. But his 22nd birthday he'll understand how cool it is. Yeah. Yep. So anyway, that was my little bit of weird, like, what the fuck? How... Because the stained glass guy wasn't 11. Well, it's also like, what is this? If we were to guess 17th century? Probably. I mean, he's 21. He's got like five more years left in him, right? I mean, I'm sure like he was royalty. He's royalty, he's royalty, so probably 10. Yeah, that's true. So like all like 11. I feel like the world was run by 11. Right before they just 30-1. So that was, I thought, a little bit weird. So we either leave out the 10 years part or leave out the 21st birthday part. Right. Yeah, totally. One of the other could go and we'd be fine, but I caught this and now I can't let it go. How like, you'll be on the Beauty and the Beast subreddit. I've already started a podcast. I'm Beast. We're gonna dive deep into. Yeah. You're Beast on this podcast. It's gonna be Lumiere. Is that his name? Sure. What's her good name? I looked at the woman when she was sleeping in the room. No, she has three holes. I have three candlesticks, coincidence, no. Like it wasn't an outfit any time I won, but that she was not to. She just has to deal. You see, he's like the prettiest character I've ever seen in a Disney cartoon. It was like, what's even better is like the maid. All the hot broomsticks. The maid is a duster. The maid is a feather duster, right? The fucking like scene where she's getting plucked. Yeah. When they all turn back to people, Lumiere is like a big dork. Yeah. And the maid is hot. She still got my hats from Lumiere. So he'd been tickling something right while she thinks it's better. That's like Sleepy Hollow. They were all nuts for Ichabod Crane. So they're pushing that skinny dork angle. They were getting that shit figured out in the 17th century. But yeah, it was a fun movie. So all the equipment in the castle resort to psychological tricks, to trick Bell into staying there till the Stockholm syndrome kicks in. And then that's enough that Ginger and Chandra's is like, yeah, I guess that counts. Okay. There you go. Well, she says, she says, I love you. And then the beast gets returned to life. Which I think honestly, if this was football, it wouldn't have been in time. I agree. Yeah, they would have rolled that back. And they'd been like, no, his knee was down. Well, that pedal was down. Throwing a flag, red flag challenge. I'm challenging that. When I was confirming your 10-year statement, I also saw that they did not make it in time that the Enchantress, but she saw the act and took pity on them and broke it anyway. That wasn't explained at all at all. So what's she doing with her life? Watching him, I guess. Like, what a bitch, right? You got 11-year-old calls you ugly, and then for 10 years, you watch him. And you were dreading it. You made yourself ugly. Yeah. Yeah. If it wasn't 11-year-old calls you mad about it, you're mad about it. That's fucking triumphant. Dick, are you going to Chantress? Tell me if you're an Enchantress. Fuck it, you're fine. Fuck it, you're fine. That's the law. You can't curse me if you tell me you're an Enchantress first. But this movie has simulated on my type back to Thanksgiving for me. Okay. In that the star of Thanksgiving, which is the turkey, I feel is the weakest part of Thanksgiving. Okay. I feel like it is a sides holiday. Yes, I see where you're going. This movie Bell and the Beast are the weakest part, and I love the side characters way more than anyone else. They have all the personality. It's like comic relief on comic relief, and they all play off each other so well. And one of the best scenes in the movie is them doing their whole "The Be Our Guest" scene. It was really cool. It was so old-school too. So old-school Disney. Big production number, right? And they did it all, and they were singing Angel Lansbury singing. All of them were singing their parts and doing just a great job. And you're right. They were the best part of that movie. Because Bell is also a narcissist like the Beast is. Kind of. Like she's pretty and uppity and looks down on all the villagers. Like they're all so boring and dumb, and I'm smart and I read books and I just walk around like, "Kwoke Bell!" But meanwhile, the villagers are calling her dumb and weird because she's reading books. They even say at one point, a woman who reads books. And of course, in this world, we're 11-year-olds run our country. Which we haven't even gotten to the very body men of toxic masculinity himself, Gaston. Gaston is a fucking great villain. He is a great villain. He might be one of the... I hate to say the best villain, but the concept of Gaston as a villain is fantastic. And his song is fucking hilarious. Yeah, it's great. In LaFou is so little written. If Dale from Chip and Dale like reversed animal. Yes, yes. Well, LaFou. See, he met an enchantress. And the enchantress turned Dale into a human. In the live action, LaFou is played by Josh Gad. Okay. Because he's fucking great in any musical that he's in. But he really plays up the angle that LaFou is in love with Gaston. Yeah, I've heard this theory. Big time. And the live action is really good too. I want to see it now because I enjoyed... Is it, I assume all the music's there and stuff is the same. I'm going to probably watch it because I would... I haven't really been all in on this live action ship that they've been going to with the live action, Lion King and live action, Aladdin and all this. But I'm not going to watch live action Aladdin because I fucking hate Will Smith. But not as much as his wife does. Bring in the truth. I like, it's funny. I won't watch anything new with Will Smith in it. I'll watch his old stuff. But anything like recent of his, I just say fuck him as a whole. Anyway, I haven't really been on board for the live action, but I do feel like this one would lend itself pretty well. I feel like it started that trend. Like it was the first one. Was it okay? Okay, well, and I think in person. I also happen to think Emma Watson is cute as a bug. She's a pretty, I'm going to enjoy that. The Belle live action was good. I saw it with Nikki, which was like, because she likes Beauty and the Beast. So she was excited to watch this. She was excited to rewatch this. And she even asked, she was like, "Are we going to watch the live action?" And I was like, "I would like to, but I haven't seen the animated one since I was a kid." And that's what the game is based on. So it's like, I feel like I need to watch that one. And I don't know if I have it in me to watch both of them. Watch the watch. Right, you do have to be in the Beast Double feature. Now, and one of the other appealing things about the original cartoon movie is that it's an hour and a half. It's an hour and 23, not long. I was so happy when I saw the run time. It just went, it was paced perfectly. It just went intro, problem, problem, solution, happy ending. We're done. Let's get out of here, folks. That was good. I'm afraid, I'm sure the live action is. We've got another showing in 30 minutes. Pack of the kids, Ed. Yeah, exactly. Pack of Ed. Pack of Ed. Make that money. I'm going to talk about the game for a minute. Let's do that. Let's go ahead and do that. Yeah. Yeah. This is gay. Ooh boy. You know, I had high expectations for this one, because a lot of the time Disney games are pretty good. Yeah, they haven't been terrible, terrible. This one's not so much. In the good column for me. I didn't care for it. I thought it was hard to control. Hard. The game was just hard. The game is fucking hard. And I got to a point where I was just like, I hit my fucking point really early. Was it like a platformer? Yeah. Yeah. It's a 1994 platformer, action platformer developed by Probe, and published by Hudson Soft. When I saw Hudson Soft, I was kind of excited. Yeah. Same. And they did this in 1994. Did we get anything from Brad? Yes, we did. Absolutely. Thank you. Yeah. Always. Who do you play as? You play as Beast, which I was like, when I started it up, I was like, okay, good. I'm the best character that I could possibly be in this. Like, if there's a fantasy of Beauty and the Beast, I'm playing as Beast. You know, it's like, I don't want to be the candlestick. I don't want to be the clock. You know, I want to be Beast. I want to be able to, like, fucking put some damage out and take some hits. Unfortunately. Fortunately, you only look like Beast in this game. You don't have this stamina nor his power. Oh, rap, bit me four times. He's goddamn rat, man. Holy shit. Latch on and you've got to shake them off. Oh, no. Fucking awful. All right. Here we go. Brad from Arizona has written us an email. Talking about Beauty and the Beast. And I'll read it now. Brad begins. Bonjour mes amis. Bonjour mes amis. I am not saying that me eventually marrying a bookish brunette had something to do with seeing Beauty and the Beast at age nine and something being subliminally injected into my consciousness. But I'm not saying it. I get it, man. I married a mermaid. Okay. I was married to a bookish brunette. It doesn't always pay off. Okay. It also could have been seeing Bailey quarters on WKRP when I was still in diapers. Not exactly sure. This pumped to John because Bailey quarters as hot as fuck. Yup. From the August 1994 Game Pro by Earth Angel. Will you be mine? If you've seen the movie, you know this tale is all this time. After being transformed into a hideous beast by a nasty sorceress. Excuse me, Enchantress. Thank you. I could be mistaken. Although it is Enchantress. Although she's clearly a transmitter. But whatever. No law of equivalent trade. Did a wolf somewhere all of a sudden like become a man? He's like, what the fuck? She killed an entire village to make a philosopher's stone. So then she could come here and do free willy transportation. My penis is better. But I'm cold. Oh, my brothers are going to eat me. I look like food. Me by a nasty sorceress. The prince. Okay. The prince has to find someone who would love him before his magic rose loses all its petals. And oh, you know the rest. But don't let that trick you into thinking this game is kitty fair. It is starting startlingly entertaining and challenging. Next section. Beauty calls. As the beast, you rampage through four chapters of hop and swipe action that roughly follow the movie's storyline. The beast must search the castle halls, defend bell from wolves, and of course face a final climactic battle with Gaston all before time runs out. In each chapter, the beast wipes out animated enemies, such as spiders, wolves, and bats, the swipes of his shiny paws. Some bats, not all bats can really know. He also navigates past enchanted obstacles, including secret passages, moving blocks, spikes, and other standard platform fair. In addition to walk, jump, and swipe moves, the big guys got a stomp, super stomp, and a roar. The last two damage enemies and sometimes reveal hidden objects. His sprite is fairly easy to control, though precision, though it's not. Though precision jumping is not his forte, especially when he must leap onto tiny bats and quickly vault to higher platforms. Then that means his sprite is not easy to control. It's the literal definition of not easy to control, one of the worst. It's super stiff, I mean, it's like crazy stiff. Like people who complain about like Castlevania being a stiff platformer, like play Beauty and the Beast, because it's like you will absolutely hate it. Well, you'll appreciate your other more. It's like the fucking Snow White game where it's momentum-based. So him trying to jump from standing is impossible. You're not going to go forward just enough to fall off into fucking spikes. So you have to slowly, it's precise platforming that's movement-based. So it's fucking awful, plus he has an edge animation. So every time you're trying to be precise, you're doing that and backing up. It's awful. Why? The article continues. Also, watch out for some nasty slowdown when the beast's trying to throw object at his enemies. The next section, an ancient fable reads, "Although B&B's graphics are not quite as spectacular as those in Sunsoft's Roar of the Beast," and it says, really, again, what was this? "Although Beauty and the Beast's graphics are not quite as spectacular as those in Sunsoft's Roar of the Beast, is there another game that we didn't know about?" I'm looking this up. It's the Sega Genesis version. Okay. The animation produced in '93, so '93 Genesis had Roar of the Beast. The animations and graphics capture the mood and humor of the movie with the lovely flair. Look for special touches like the darkening of rooms in the castle when the beast moves too far away from Lumiere. I thought that was a nice touch. I thought it was neat, too, but it felt like super gimmicky because I didn't finish this game, but it's like after the first level, Lumiere's not there anymore. Right. And it's like, "Oh, okay." Yeah, the evil candlesticks all over the fucking room. Right. Now it's like, "Oh, sweet. A candlestick." Ah! And in the-- Shoot and fire at it. Yeah. They're like, "Fuck." And then the even "eviler candlesticks" when they're in the fucking foreground, taking up a quarter of the goddamn screen, blocking all your fucking-- Oh my god. It's like, "What the fuck?!" It's so awkward. And then they move with you jump, and it's like, "This is not how far-- Shit, the foreground works." [laughter] Shit, the foreground shouldn't chase me up. [laughter] Yeah, it is so bad. Yeah. It's annoying. I thought that was a nice touch. I also thought I'm going back a bit on the, um, or something else. Oh, I thought some of the graphics were okay. I thought Lumiere looked really cool. I thought the graphics looked good. Yeah, they were pretty good graphics. Everything was recognized-- I mean, everything that you could see from the movie was recognized. With the exception of Beast's Roar, because I thought that's a cat about to hop up something on here. Yeah, which is a charge move, by the way. He's like, "You hold down the Roar button." [grunting] What is Beast? Is he a lion? He's a cat. A homunculus. A homunculus sounds right. A homunera? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Eduardo. [laughter] Uh, the sounds are not particularly memorable. The game does contain some of the movie's music, and the Beast roars with appropriate scariness. Now-- Uh-uh. As scary as your cat about to get some on your carpet. Yeah. That is actually scary. Exactly. [laughter] You put it that way. I'm the linolean of the garbage. [laughter] But the rest of the FX are standard. This game, next section, a beauty of a beast. Uh, at the height-- I love watching John's face. At the high challenge setting, some areas of this game will cause even advanced gamers to roar with frustration. But there's enough entertainment value to keep you playing. While not as enchanting as a Latin, Beauty and the Beast has the kind of Disney magic that will make you want to keep it around your castle. It's a beaut. Here we go. Hudson Soft's Henny S version of Disney's classic animated flick is a surprisingly good platform-style action-adventure game. Graphics 4.0. I'm with that. Sound 3.5. I'm kind of with that too. Control 3.5. No sir. No sir. No sir. That should be a sleepy face. That should be a one or a 1.5. Yeah, fun factor 4.5. No, disagree with that one too. Because of the controls. And it's not only everything in this game, every time I got hit, it was like, oh, that was cheap. Every time. Every fucking time. This is not an exaggeration. Every time it felt cheap. One other game that this remind me of, Cat Mario. Yeah, totally. It is that fucking cheap. It feels like the game honestly feels like it was designed like as a practical joke. Like it's designed because it is... This game is so funny because it trolls you all the time. That's what it is. That's what it's trolling you. You can die in the first five seconds from spiders. Yeah, easily. Oh, jasmine how I know. I love it that you were listing off all of the different enemies that you fight. And I'm just like, man, the only one that should be any kind of a problem is a fucking wolf. Like the other enemies are all things you would think a fucking 320 pound fucking monster would be able to handle. Now, you know. Living portraits jumping out, the candlesticks that be off-screen, a fired as fucking cousin, it gets you. Yeah, cheap. How long is all cheap? Some platforms go into spikes. Others don't. Other like, and even when you're doing this awful platforming that takes forever, you're in a, you're fucking timed. That rose the whole time is so on top of it. Had no idea that I was being timed until the last rose petal went doop, doop, doop, doop. And I was actually making progress at this point because who the fuck knew you could pick up the block and throw it? OK, I'm glad I'm not the only person who got stuck with the first five seconds. I walked around that whole area roaring and doing something. I couldn't even see it because the game is so dark. And then when I watched the gameplay on YouTube, I was like, I don't know how the fuck they got this so bright. I don't know if it's an emulator thing or if it's my TV brightness needs to be turned up because I could not see that fucking rock. Oh, my God. And I finally accidentally picked it up. I looked it up. And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This whole time, you can pick shit up. No, and then the spiders, they come back when you get them off-screen. They come back, so you have to kill them again. It is a it's travesty. I did not even get through the first level. They're all super fast. And it's like there's a delay on your fucking attack. It's not like it's not like you press it and then a second later he swings. But there's enough of a delay where it's like, oh shit, it's moving fast. Oh, and I'm hit. He's got a slight wind up. So your movement is slow because it's momentum based. And then you have the wind up to time. There's like a frame of animation or two where he pulls like your rears back. And it's like the enemies it's for three aspect ratio. And it's like the enemies are coming fast off the side of the screen. And you can't move while you're-- You can't get it out of the way, fast enough. No, there's no-- Because you're so slow until you take-- You're very slow. In few-- Three seconds to amp up speed. And I think you can't move when you're attacking. So when you attack, you stop. You're stuck. And so you can't just move and attack. You have to stop and attack. And then move and then attack. The controls in this game are-- they're fucking horrible. They are horrible. It's like-- The enemy hitboxes are massive. Massive. Yeah, they are. It's possibly the worst controls I've ever experienced. And then some bats hit you, other bats you roar and they freeze in the air. And you jump by them. But it's also not sensically stupid. Even it is, but it's like the-- what's crazy to me is like how demanding the game is for you to get something perfect the first time with these-- not only just that, but on top of these controls. Because it's like that level, there's a level where-- is it where you freeze the bats? Is that the one where the fucking spikes are raising up from the ground? Or is that a different level? Oh, as you play, there are so many, so many moments you have to freeze bats. All over the god damn place, you're freezing bats. And it's like if you fuck it up, if you don't get it perfect, you're dead. And it's like, OK, I can deal with that. And actually probably learn to enjoy something like that if it's actually fun to control. If it was Mario or something where it's like, well, OK, I'm fucking dying a lot, but I'm enjoying it. So that makes it the challenge enjoyable. Or at the very least, give you more lives, or more health, or more continues, or something. Well, the challenge has been the gameplay and not the control. The challenge is just in the controls. And these bats are a little bit-- I see people fighting the controls-- You're fighting the controls the entire time. Yeah, you can't stand on them. You have to jump. As soon as you hit the bat, you have to hit the jump button. And it's like, you have to chain it. And it's like, again, this is also OK, I guess. But you don't know that the first time, right? There's a learning curve to it, but the game expects you to just-- they don't expect you to know it. They expect you to fucking die a whole bit. Right, and she has just-- Just to hear this Earth Angel person talk about it. That is fun. And it's not. It's not. You'll keep coming back just to have the satisfaction of beating this challenge. You'll keep coming back. You've got to put your birth in. You have no other options. Right. Yeah, sure. I got to mention that I feel like what publication did this come from? That was GamePro. GamePro. Who sent the last one? What was the-- do you remember what publication, the last article that he sent from? Which game was it? Do you remember? How low? It was probably GamePro. I think most of these have been from GamePro. Really? OK. Man, I feel like a standard was set for the segment titles, the section titles on the last one. And this shit is weak in comparison. Oh, I see. Yeah, every time-- because the titles, I remember the last one were funny. Like, every section title was funny. And these sections are not terrible. But it depends on the author. The author has to-- Yeah, the author white pen, a funny pun or something. But this person didn't seem to care. "Lord of the Rings" volume one. Yeah. This was "Board of the Rings." "Bad Hobbits" are hard to break. "Bad Hobbits" are hard to break. That was a great one. "Ring Key Dink." Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those are objectively way better. Yeah. Yeah. And that's only in the GamePro ones. If it's not from GamePro, there won't be like punny little sections. "Soldiers of Fortune." Well, I didn't play the game, but I still got to be disappointed by it. Have guns must travel. If you got the experience. It takes two to tangle. Lock and load this cart. I mean, come on, that's pretty good shit. (laughing) But it's no "Bad Hobbits." Oh, I can break. "Bad Hobbits" are a good one. Yeah. They're a good one. But there wasn't any of that in this one. "Board of the Rings." I mean, that's... I heavily saved scummed just because I wanted to get to a boss. And it was just... I mean, because I'm constantly getting hit with all the spikes. I mean, there are Mega Man levels of spikes all over the place. And the platforms you have to roar. I hate that. And even, yeah, even like, little segments where you can't make jumps unless you roar and move a platform like it's... And it's like, why doesn't it just move? Like, you know, why do I have to stand there and charge a roar for three seconds? Yep. To reveal a platform. Yeah. And they guard because you can't... It's so precise. You can't like jump into a platform and then jump back if an enemy's coming. No. Like, you're committed, which you land. Everything in this game. And this enemy is edge guarding. Everything in this game is like... First attempt, you gotta get on the first attempt. And it's like, okay, that's not great now. And the worst... The worst was when I made it to the boss. Who was the first boss? It was a gargoyle, right? A fucking gargoyle, right? I'm Disney's gargoyle? It's... That would be great. Like, Goliath is fucking there. Cool. All for it. The beast versus Goliath. You have to roar to freeze him and then hit him. I love it. I figured that out eventually because I died to him so many times. Because it's three tiny platforms, tons of spikes. And he can fly. So you can't maneuver well enough to jump over him or do anything. So you have to like, stun lock him while he swoops down with a roar. Hope you can hit him. And sometimes even that stun lock won't work. He'll still hit you and hit you and you take damage. And then you get on the spikes. You have a fairly large immensibility window. So most of the time you can get back, but not always. And like, that took me so, so long to do. It was bad. Absolute horseshit. Bad. And then after that, and I was in the forest, and it was like, I don't want to do this again. Like, I jumped down and then saw there was like a, a floating ice bridge that would flip over him, have spikes and then flip over and be flat. And it's just like, nope, nope, nope. If you can know this is going to be, this is me fighting the controls the entire time. Nope, I'm out. What if it had like a lad in controls? Yeah, that'd be fine. Yeah, I feel like I would be good with this. Yeah, it would, because the lad is a little floaty, but it's way more precise than this. And he's faster, you know what I mean? Like, so much of this was like. And the animation is better. Like, his attacks are quick and they look good when he's running. It's just, it's no wind up. Or even Pinocchio. And if you could throw like Pinocchio, I'd be okay with that. I'd be fine with that. I honestly think Pinocchio is a better video game. Yeah, absolutely. And I didn't love Pinocchio. And this is, this is the worst, in my opinion, the worst of this is in game. So far, so far, for sure. I can't think of a worst of this in game. I'm trying to think of one. Roger Rabbit on the NES. That's close. The fact is, there's this degree of indecision says a lot. If I didn't have to get out and kill all the snipers and get back in the car and Roger Rabbit, it'd be, it wouldn't be as close. Well, you don't like going into buildings and just wasting your time talking to people who say the same shit? The thing you're looking for isn't in this building. Hey, look, kid. Yeah, like two hours to kill before your mom comes out of that room. We were like, talking to these guys. You guys got any achievements? Yeah, I have some. My first achievement is Candle in the Wind. To get Candle in the Wind, you venture too far away from Lumiere and fall to your death because it's pitch dark. You can also get this achievement if a chandelier falls on your head and kills you. Because the one with the candle sticks that are lit in the foreground, but nothing's lit in the background. The chandeliers that blend in with the wall fall on your head and kill you. Gotcha. Gotcha, sucka. My next rolling wouldn't have fallen for that. My next achievement is Cat Scratch Fever. And to get Cat Scratch Fever, climb the curtains in the castle. I like that. It's a cool element in the game. But then when you fucking do it on accident, because I don't know if that happened to you guys. It's like, what the fuck happened? Yeah, yeah, I call it. Now I'm climbing. Okay, now I know I can do this. This is, I was thinking, can I wall? The thing is, I got to a point where I was like, can I wall jump? And I tried it and he stuck to the wall. I'm like, well, mother fucker this whole time. So that's Cat Scratch Fever. The next one is Every Rose has its thorn. And to get that, you die from time running out. That's awesome. My next achievement is Heart Shaped Box. And to get Heart Shaped Box, you collect all the hearts and pieces of heart, scattered about the game. This is good. And that was my last song title one. But I did, because the song title for the next one wouldn't work. So I had to use the first words from the song. Tale is all this time. Start playing the game. Hopeful that you'll be able to play through it a little bit. Realize once again that you suck at these types of games and that this game sucks and get out. Bravo, sir. Tale is all this time, AKA, beauty and the beast. It's my list for this week. I've got a couple they suck, but here we go. I started with a theme and then stopped doing that. I started playing, wow, I don't know what to tell you. First achievement, I'm working on my roar. In order to unlock, I'm working on my roar, which is a line from a different Disney movie you see. Yes, I got that. All right. All right. I was drinking. You released the roar button before it's fully charged. Oh, premature roar, ejaculation. Yeah. There's no meter or anything to like tell you when it's fully charged. You just kind of have to like figure it out. What'd you do without a little? Maybe, I don't know. Next achievement is, hey, I'm a street rat, remember? I'll improvise. It's another line you see. I see that. I do see where you were going with this. In order to unlock, hey, I'm a street rat. Remember, I'll improvise. You have to have more than one rat attached to you at once, which I unlocked. Oh, no, when you get to the point where you're like, fuck it, man, I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go as fast as fuck this shit. Like crawling with rats. Yeah, you can get more than one rat attached to you. Continue to the save point. And then my last achievement is, this is where it breaks down. Beauty and the altered beast. In order to unlock beauty and the altered beast, you just go fucking ham on Lumiere in the beginning. Because you can hit him. Yes, you can. He gets his look on his face like, why? And that's it. That's all I got. Okay, kill him though. No, scare him real bad. I've got three. First one is once bitten twice died, you died to a spider. Nice. The other one is the links the beast will go through for pussy, and you collect 10 bucks. Because in all this awful heinous shit you're going through, you can still grab books. They work as checkpoints. Because you see Belle likes to read. Is that right? And one of the big gifts that he gives her in the movie is his dick. Big old dick, but after that. In a box? Better, it was a beast when he does it. It's a dick in the library. Dick in a room called a library. In a refrigerator box. The AKA library. Which is like, impossibly big. She couldn't get. She couldn't handle it. She literally started crying. I handle it. She saw it. And just wept. From everywhere. [Laughing] Deja vu at this very moment. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's even more ROUS. Die from raps. Oh, reference to a previous achievement. I have all these ROUS because there's always giant goddamn raps. Yes. All these fucking games. Yep. I like it when you reference your previous achievements. That's that's that's hard to do. I'd have to read my notes to figure out all my achievements. What they've been. How much do you think you would pay for this video game? If you were to buy it right yesterday. I'd say this one's probably not terribly expensive. Relatively speaking. I must say. 1195. 1195? I feel like whenever I went to go buy Superbuster Bros. This was also there. And I thought it was too too cheap to buy. So I must say $10. Okay. 10 bucks. What do you think, John? I don't know why but the number 14 popped into my head. So I would say $14.32. $14.32. Actual retail value of Disney's The Beauty and the Beast for the Super Nintendo. Loose on average according to price-sharding.com at the time of this recording is. $31.43. What? Is it worth it? Hell no, damn. Come on, guys. Fucking good day. Come on, guys. $31 that I was required to waste on something. It would definitely not be this. Fuck that. No fucking way. Is it worth $31? I looked on the graph, right? Because price-sharding has a graph. And I was like, what the fuck, man? This seems like it's too expensive. Was my thought. And I was like, how much was it like 10 years ago? And it's like $10? Which seems like it should be a reasonable price but not 10 years ago. Uh-uh, right. I don't know. 'Cause my, you know, to the next part of, I'm getting ahead of us a little bit but my feeling on this is that it would have to have been common. Well, that's the next thing. So let's go ahead and get into what we think flopsie has to say. I would also think that it's common. I have a feeling that that price has to just be from like, this is a Disney, this is a Disney product. Yeah, yeah. And people collect Disney stuff. Yeah, I wish- That's a good point. I do wish there was a way to find out like, I don't know, what the common perception of a game was after its release. You know, like- Not the reviewer and game pros. Exactly. Like how, like if there, it would be so nice if there were like a tomato meter type thing for video games, even back then, because it's like how many people bought this game based on the hype for the movie or seeing the movie and loving it and then bought this game thinking, it's a Disney game, it's a great movie. I'm gonna- It's gonna be awesome and then we're just- I'm gonna major a hundred percent. Super fucking disappointed. Like what the fuck? I'm gonna wager a hundred percent. I wouldn't have bought it. Like just like having seen the movie, I think I would have been like- Now it's starting to make sense why the Genesis game was called Beast's Roar. Yeah Roar the Beast. Because then they could trick me into playing it. Right. You know what I mean? But like when I'm like 10 years old, I am not interested in playing Beauty and the Beast, the video game. Beauty and the Beast Decepticons arrive. What's going on? [laughter] Beauty and the Beast Wars. [laughter] We should- With that, we're like- All right, so we should start a development company, right? And we just make Shovelware. But at every game title, it's like beach volleyball 2024 and then in parentheses, General Leo. [laughter] I'm going to see- I don't know. When was Flopsy published? That's a great question. I know it was- They're a lot of beach volleyball. General Leo's revenge. [laughter] Okay. Okay. I want to see where they go with this. I mean the reviews are all bad, but I mean- Race driving. Yo Joe. [laughter] Well, I'm going to assure you that it was written after 1998. I'll look for a published date in here. So the reason I ask is because, you know, the review that we read that Brad sent us was this obviously stroking business, massive mega-corporation dick. Hell yeah. While they're standing there watching, you know, pointing at the page like, "You better say good shit about our goddamn game." This is a briefcase of money and a gun point. I feel like if this was written well after- 2019 is written in '29. Okay. So at that point we have learned a thing or two- It's like they knew the pandemic was coming and you needed 1,000 pages of SNES games, right? [laughter] This is a tome. So, but I don't think they're going to be as forgiving as the game pro-earth angel game pro-writer was. I'm going to say boy, they like their big date. Flopsie likes their big franchises, their big IPs. I don't know if this will help or not when I, because usually before we do an episode, I'll look on Moby Games. And Moby Games said that I was surprised how low this was listed. This was like 593. And I was like, "Wow!" Like, like, I hate this game, but like, but that's fucking, that seems low. That was a 700-something game. And we know that the great majority of that is not good, right? The great majority of that 700 games is probably not very great. No, it's not very great. So, but I don't know, Flopsie's also lenient. It's less than half. Notoriously lenient, as far. So, and I think they're going to give it points for graphics. I think it looks great. I think they should give it points. And I think they're going to give it points for sort of the creativity of it, the parts of it that are created. Puzzle solving. Puzzle solving. The mirror thing was kind of cool. I thought there's a thing where you hit a magic mirror, there's a magic mirror in the movie that can show beast, whatever he wants to see. In fact, he spies on Bell in her bedroom. Mirror, is she peeing? Mirror, mirror, wake up, mirror. She has to drink a lot of water. That's what I would. She'll be her red gosh damn books. Mirror, show me Bell to get a big shit. But in the game, this is what- What's overdubbed the movie, please. If I was zoned out and didn't hear, I apologize. I don't know if this was mentioned, but in the game, when beast is running through, he'll hit the magic mirror. It'll be in a spot and he'll touch it. And it'll go forward and show you the next several screens of the game so you can plot out your book. It doesn't help, but I did think it was a neat idea. And I will say that reminds me of something else in this game that I like it when platformers do this, where it's like if you hold the up button, the screen shows you the screen up and you have down, so you can kind of gauge your situation. It won't show you left or right, which is a real shame, because that's what the shit comes from. That's what you realize. But the enchanted mirror does show you left. And it doesn't help, but it's a neat idea. And I thought it was a good way to implement the magic mirror to have that quote unquote character in the game. Yeah. And I like that the timer was the rose pet. I like that. That it was too. That was super creative. It just doesn't let you know that it's the timer. Because it doesn't look like mine. I thought it first, it might be my life. That's what I thought too. So when I was getting rose petals, I was like, okay, good. Am I getting hit points back? No, I still have only a fourth of a heart. Right. So I understand what you're saying, and you're absolutely right. They will give it points based on graphics, based on creativity, based on sound, based on all of these different metrics that they use. But at the same time, at what point does none of that matter, because the controls are so broken that you cannot enjoy any of those things? I guess it depends on who you are talking to, because if you're asking us, it's right fucking away immediately. Like, all the charm is immediately gone from that game, the instant you try to play. Because you can have a game that has five all of that. Like, the graphics are five, the music is a five, the creativity is a five. But if you can't fucking play it, it's just too hard to fucking play. None of that matters. You have wasted all of that effort. And in our big tome of games over here, they do tend to be lenient. But that, I don't know, I can't remember how lenient they are with such an unforgivable sin. And I think they are lenient, but I also think, like, hey, not to like throw shade or anything. I can't back this up with examples. But I do feel like Beauty and the Beast is kind of one of those games, where it's like, if the person writing it has played it and memorized it. They're going to say it's not. They're not going to have the issues with the game that we do coming in from fucking nowhere. Like, knowing nothing about it. So it's like, if someone who has played this game like in their childhood is reviewing it, it's going to skew higher. And I'm wondering if maybe that's why a lot of the scores in Flopsy tend to seem to be. You think there's all the reviewers are sitting around a table with a bunch of three by five posted cards with all the games, they're like, I want this one. I like, I do, so then, yeah, those reviews are going to be and they're going to, they're going to bid on them and stuff. Yeah, because they're going to be like, either if we've got multiple writers that want the same game, you're going to have to fight me forward or something, you know, kind of thing. I do think they're going to compare it to other super Nintendo Disney games, though. And there's some pretty good ones Aladdin and the line team. The video of all the Disney games, all I said about this was, it's bad and it's too fucking hard. That was like moving on. I think, so after having said all that, which we don't usually do when we talk about these, I'm going to say, yeah, that was my gut as well. My gut's three stars. I guess three stars, yeah, two. It seems too hot. You had to look at John's face, look like the surprise emoji. Believe me, believe me, like the Germans do. I think they're going to see you on this one. I mean, I think you're probably right. You guys, I feel like, no, you know, it's talking about it and you all played the game. It was just like to listen to them and then for us to guess it's three stars. Because I did not play the game, but then just to listen to your experience. I think it is a two star game, but I think they will go high and it's a three. I think it's a two star game. I think it will factor in a lot too. If the author of the article is a female, because if she is a female and she played games when she was a kid and she liked Beauty and the Beast and it was fine. I think just all of these kind of like, I am going to be. If it's a bookish brunette who's into ugly guys, she's going to skew this off. Then call me, here's my number. I'm going to be nicer about a Star Trek game just because I love the content, you know. Right, sure. I get it and that's a thing. So I'm with you. I think three stars common. I think three stars. I'm good with common. I'm good with common. I don't see how it's not. It would be strange to me if it's not given that it was literally one of the most popular IPs of the time. Three stars common locked in. All right. According to Flopsy, aka the ultimate Nintendo guide to the SNES library, 1991 through 1998 by Pat Country, courtesy of Monster Mold Mike and a shadowy, mysterious benefactor. I always miss that. Beauty and the Beast, parentheses, Disney's. They fucked us. They fucked us. They knew we were going to go high. They fucking knew we were going to go high. And they made us look like fucking jackasses. One and a half stars. We're close. It was two and a half. Two and a half. Two and a half. We should have maybe split the difference. I don't know. Two and a half. Availability uncommon. This is an uncommon video game. That's weird. That might sort of help explain the price. Back into the $31 god. I am shocked. The only thing, I think probably though the main reason I'm shocked is that this movie came out in 1991. Yeah, in the game came out in 1994. The hype for Beauty and the Beast is probably not as high. If they'd have gotten the motherfucker out at launch on something. I mean, was this 1991? I mean, god, this could have been a launch title. Yeah, it could have been. It could have been, but it probably wouldn't have been shitty if it were launched. They would have paid a little bit more attention to it. They'd have had a different developer, I think. But yeah, it's so early on. It's kind of like, well, we took pilot wings and put beast in it. Yeah. Which I like pilot wings, but you know. I can understand the release date being later than it is, but I've had to be part of it is the fact that people were all right. What was the next big thing after Beauty and the Beast? Aladdin was the next Disney movie. Oh, well. The animated. I know. And that's like when you guys were talking about voice acting. I was like, when did this come out? Like when did this come out in relation to Aladdin? Because Aladdin is the one where it's like, okay, we got a big star and all these fucking things. Yeah. Because this was so successful and so good with Robin Williams. And it fueled the much better video game. Yeah. Yeah. I think Aladdin, I mean, I love Aladdin. What is your favorite game I had? I actually owned them. Yeah. Yeah. I liked both of them. I owned it for Super Nintendo back in the day. This one was I actually paid for with my adult money. Because it was so good. It's a great game. Yeah. We used to argue in middle school over which version was better, the Super Nintendo or the Genesis. So James Earl Jones was in the Lion King, right? Correct. Yeah. The Fasa. The Fasa. Say it again. And then Robin Williams. It was a genie. Yeah. In Aladdin. Yeah. In Aladdin. What other? Sea from Full House was Aladdin. Yep. Which they let you know in Full House. Yep. Real heart. I don't know. I was just wondering was there like every Disney animated movie after this had like a big star? At least one well-known established Hollywood star. I'd have to do some. Yeah. I'd have to look at a list. But it seems like it was more important after Aladdin. Well, and plus let's not forget that even we are talking about Disney here. The animation got way better in Aladdin and the songs were way better. I like the songs from Beauty and the Beast. Little Mermaid? Was that Pre-It was before? That was before. That was before. Okay. I mean, they had some great songs in those movies and the Lion King. I mean, I can still sing Hakuna Matata almost word for word. And JT was like a huge gift. I feel like for the Lion King. Yeah. He was the big draw for that one. I just asked Gage. I mean, that kid was obsessed with that. I should say, when you said I know everywhere to Hakuna Matata, I was like, I know why. We watched that movie so many times. And Whoopi Goldberg was one of the hyenas. She's the one that said the first thing. All right. Say it again. Yep. I'm trying to think if we missed anybody who was. Well, I mean, fucking Nathan Lane was. Poomba, you see, Timon or Poomba? He was Timon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot of stars in Lion King, actually. Fucking Jeremy Irons was scar. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, they brought some big talent in for that one. And I think they were able to draw the big talent for Lion King because they saw how well Robin Williams did. Well, Lion King, where does the team animation? Because all their good animators are working on Pocahontas. Yeah. And it flopped it. I know. Yeah. Well, the only song you get from that is Colors of the Wind. I've never seen Pocahontas. I haven't either. It never appealed to me. I haven't either. Much like Beauty and the Beast. I didn't really just want to know my radar. I didn't watch hardly any Disney animated movies when I was a kid. Like very few of them. My mother. I watched Bambi in the theater. Yeah. I remember seeing that one in the theater too. When they did all those re-releases. We owned all of them. Only the Disney vault. Yeah. Dude, when they did the releases on these things on VHS, I don't know where they are since mom died. I think that got rid of them. But we had all of the tapes. We had all of the tapes. I've seen them though because my cousins, especially my cousin Lee, had like those white big fat. The clown shell. Yeah. Like fucking ripped a lot of those fucking things. They last forever. And the noise of those super legs opening. And the throw it off of a five-story building. And it would be fine. Like you could not damage that cassette. DJ Sorin could have put an egg in it. Dropped off a second story. And they're fine. That's what we got in the egg. But mom was super obsessed with Disney. Just like she was with James Bond. And she collected those movies. And she had all those. But I just never wanted to really sit and watch it. Yeah, I never. Except for the white. Except for the Lion King. And by the time the big ones started hitting like these, Lion King movies, I was out of the house. So I wasn't at home to watch them. I saw the little mermaid, but I was like a grown man. And that was just because my wife loved the little mermaid growing up. And I watched it with her one time. And it was like, wow, this is literally one of the first anime Disney movies I've seen. I want to say little mermaid was like first, wasn't it? Like before beating the beat. It was before beating the beat. It was 89. It was land before time. Not a Disney movie, isn't it? All right, flopsie fucked us up. That was blue. Oh, OK. I think that was it was flopsie fucked us. Yeah, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie, flopsie. So hard, I can't even talk. Fuck flopsie today for being honest. We'll be back. We'll be back, flopsie. We're coming for you. We'll be back. We'll get you again. We're better than you. [LAUGHTER] Tyler. Yes, too. That had a lot of fun today talking about beauty and the beast. But before we close it out, if you were to give this game a beard, what kind of beard would you give it? I would give it the single straight razor bleeding out beard of Angela Lansbury as the pie baker in Sweeney Todd when she was the role on Broadway. OK. Tyler. Give it up, yeah. Appropobe. A razor human flesh pie beard. I thought you were going with like a Glasgow smile or something at first. I mean, that is pretty much how she killed them. And then-- I haven't seen it. I don't know. She'll kill them in the barber's chair, slip their throats, and then pull a lever that opens thing and they drop down into the bottom. We're going up to make the meat pies. Yeah, she makes the meat pies. Hell yeah. Are they good? I mean, they sold really well. Everybody was starving, so yeah, they were delicious. Hey, are these people shut up? Who gives a fuck I'm starving? Where are y'all getting your meat? Shut the fuck up. You hungry or not? You want something to eat? Our lord's 11, OK? We've got to make shit work. However we can. And he's a real asshole already. He hates ugly people and we're all ugly. [LAUGHTER] Tyler, if you were to give this game a pair of glasses, what kind of glasses is why? Yeah, the glasses of seared flesh of somebody kicking coals into your eyes. Oh, yeah. Mm. Like Gaston does to the beast. Brutal. Matt Pat did a video. That's been in half. Matt Pat did a video breaking down. The number of eggs Gaston said he ate every day, to how it would have decimated that village. [LAUGHTER] If he hadn't gotten that many eggs over the course of a year. He has this whole thing about how when he was a kid, he ate four eggs a day, and then as he got bigger, he started eating five. And that's how he became such a manly man. I'm not going to tell you how Gaston dies, but I'm going to tell you, he saw it coming. [LAUGHTER] He suffered. He only had himself to blame. I feel like the live action battle between Gaston and the beast was long. And the only reason I say that is because when we were watching the animated version, I was like, oh, it's over. Yeah. Oh, wow. Animation is expensive. Yeah, animation is expensive. Yeah, we don't have computers yet. I like the scene where Gaston, I guess, has a fucking-- I don't know what he has a club or some shit. Oh, yeah, he tears off a Gargoyle's leg, like a stone Gargoyle's leg. He's like using it as a club. And he can't find beast amongst a group of Gargoyle's stuff. [LAUGHTER] I love that. I mean, I laugh at it, but it was like, because it's so fucking stupid that he can't figure that shit out. But the shot is great. And all of that's really stylized exceptionally well. I feel like there's a lot of really good look. Worth a watch, definitely worth a watch. Movie good. Movie good. Watch it with a good gamepad. Your boys might like it, too. They just won't admit it. Yeah, there's virtually no way I would get them to watch this movie. I get it. Oh, yeah. I'm positive. Henry was there for like a little bit. And it's like he laughed at when Bell's father's pants fell off and we saw his underwear. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, OK. And then he was like, he didn't say this, but I could just see it on his face. Well, OK, I'm going to go play a game that I like instead of watching this. Hey, listen. I give him the credit for at least giving it the old college try every week. Yeah, we had food. Yeah, it was baited in there. I was curious if he was for a minute there. I was like, he's like, OK, he's kind of locked in. And it's like, now the boy can watch a fucking two hour video of like a guy playing Roblox. But like, I get him to watch like a movie. It's just like, I can't even get my kids to watch a TV show, like a 20 or 30 minute episode of a TV show. But yeah, they will watch the most absurd Minecraft. Oh, yeah. Roblox video. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. Yeah, good times. Yeah. I mean, hey, kids are going to kid. Right. Yeah. I mean, oh, I know that like, you know, we were not doing. I was no better. No, no, I was no better. Yeah. Couldn't wait for what they wanted me to do to be over so I could do what I wanted to do. Uh-huh. I just didn't have the freedom to say, well, I'm done. I'll see you later. No, sit down. You're watching this. Is he watching that eight hours of the Simpsons that he recorded again? So I mean, it's like, yeah, OK. He's worn out that Looney Tunes tape on eight morning. Well, we're going to do next week. Well, yeah, we do still have to think about next week, don't we? Do we have anything left on the list? Or are we through the movies? I know we have a lot of news. We're getting close to that big Christmas finale. Because I know we have Toy Story. Oh, right. We have Super Godzilla. That was a movie or just Godzilla. It's based on the movie. I think we'd have to decide which Godzilla we need to watch. Maybe whichever one happened to have been out around the time this game was released. Yeah, it's Super Godzilla. Be it Japanese or American. Yeah, I'm curious if that was the Matthew Broderick one. I think that was it. Man, we could do so many jokes on that. He did his song. It was in the movie. Oh my god. I never saw it in the movie. Me neither. Me neither. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it. There's a few of these all in it. Yeah, he's puffed at he at the time. But he's like, it's over a Led Zeppelin song, isn't it? I think so. Yeah. It's samples that. Donut it. Donut it. Yeah. Cashmere. Thank you. That is, that was Puff Daddy, right? So I think so. I vaguely remember the song. I've seen that movie recently, but only in passing. Like I didn't, it was on. I didn't. I didn't want it. I heard not good things about it. So I didn't watch it. Okay. Whatever. So those are the only two besides Home Alone lost in New York. Home Alone. Yeah, Home Alone 2, Toy Story, and Super Godzilla. Unless this, you've proven me this is not a complete list, so there could be some others I'm not aware of. Yeah. I've come through it once. I can maybe just go through it again. Because there's also some stuff where it's like, it gets complicated because it's like, I get in a position where it's like, well, I've never heard of this movie, but I could see this game titles being a movie that I never heard of. So I don't know. Well, we could, we could continue the Disney thing while we're, while we're at it. Do Toy Story. Just go to Toy Story next week. I'm totally good with that. I've seen that one enough to potentially not have to rewatch it, but I'm going to rewatch it. I want, I'm going to try my best to get Henry to watch that movie because I'm not going to lie. I want to hear him fucking roast it. Yeah. We are all going to have multiple days of Thanksgiving and shit going on. Do we want to do something that involves us watching a movie or do we want to do something that's just... It doesn't matter. I probably wouldn't get, I do too and I probably wouldn't get to it until the weekend after Thanksgiving anyway. Okay. So I'd say we're probably good. If you are, are you? I should. I mean, I wouldn't have rewatched Toy Story if I didn't have time. Okay. So Toy Story. Cool. All right. Tolstoy? Tolstoy. Tolstoy. My oldest is 13 and I know that he has seen Toy Story easily. Yeah. I think he would, I know that he's seen it and he didn't like tear it to pieces, but then again, you know, when he was watching cartoons, like there were some cartoons that like didn't look great. No, they didn't look good at all. Just because they were new, like some of those cartoons were super cheap looking. Have you seen the CG Garfield that like, yes, he was watching that one. That one he was like three and I remember. It is like Joff. It's all bad. Yeah. It's real bad. Like the Coco Mellon version of Garfield. Yeah. Yeah. But like, but yeah, I think Owen would probably would be rough. We'll see. I don't even think I can convince him. I don't think I can get him Henry to stick around long enough. I honestly don't think he'd really roast it, but because the story is good. The story is good. The characters are good. It is younger. Yeah. It's younger and it doesn't, that CG that blew us away when it first came out doesn't so much anymore blow us away. But yeah, this is the nature of these things. That is. We set boys. Yeah. Thanks. What's the thing, everybody? You can find the show on iTunes, not SoundCloud, but on Spotify, not Stitcher. I mean, really, just just put it in the Google machine. We're all over the guy that place. Yeah. It'll say, did you mean Tadpole? You say, no. Yep. You'll find us. You'll find us. All this shit going on, but most importantly is Patreon. That's right. We have a Patreon and you can get to it at patreon.com/tagpog, which is where you can go and give us money. And when you give us money, you gain access to our bonus content, which is limited edition. Yeah, you could be like Bell walking in the beast library. Yeah. And be like, oh, this backlog, it's much smaller than I expected, but I'm sure it's quality. Yeah. There's few items that are very long. Yes. Sometimes-- Not girthy. Not girthy. So much. But it's there, fuck. It's for a dollar. It's worth a dollar. Yeah, it is worth a dollar. Some people think it's worth more than that. Plus, we get excited when you do it. We send messages. I'll send a message to the boys and be like, look, I don't even say that. I just send them a screenshot. Well, we have sort of a tier, if you will, of that we call our executive producers. And these people will give us $20 or more per month. And not because of the bonus content. They don't buy into that hype. They don't have to have something. They just give us the money because they like us and they want us to keep doing this. They want us to succeed. And they're probably wealthier than me. I would hope. I mean, they got to be wealthier than me, otherwise. No, $20 a month. I wouldn't be an executive producer if I wasn't a host. I'd be just that dude that sometimes comes on and gets drunks and tells stories about sex stuff, which I do in one of the Patreon episodes. He does. Called Ian tells sex stories for money. It's a little on the nose, but that's okay. It's okay. We got to rope them in somehow. By design. Most of the sex stories in that are no longer really-- I don't even-- I haven't listened to that. I don't ever want to listen to that one. I don't want to know what-- Guys, I used to get really drunk when I would come here and help and host the show. Yeah, I mostly used it as an excuse to get really drunk. And I would say lots and lots of things. Cool. I did that on the show for about a year too. That I probably shouldn't have said. Or maybe I don't remember saying. Maybe a little of both. But anyway, our executive producers give us $20 or more per month. And I'm going to read the list of their names right now, because we want to make sure they're recognized appropriately. That list starts with cubicle monkey, game bug prime, Nathanine, Matt Gentile, AKA gentle G, pinball, air pruning, archmage, Chris Edler. Sorry you couldn't be on this episode. Derek Pope sandwich. What do we call them, Jeff? Burger bottle? Burger bottle. Burger bottom, Jeff miners, drink Smith, Joey Webster, sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins, Louisville correspondent, Princess Consuela, banana hamlet, Flav trick, Taren doll. Canadian Turbo nerd, Turbo nerd, Thomas and Trefty tree. Thank you all so much for your donation. Thanks to all of our donors. You guys kick ass. You do kick ass. It's really nice for you to send us your hard earned money every month, just because you like us. I think that's great. And it means a lot. It really does. Even the smallest donation means a lot to us. Good Lord. That is a. It took me a while to see it. Sorry. It was like, yeah, in a weird spot. Also, thanks to Brad for Arizona for your email. I do you it. And that's like the most scary spotters I've seen, even the first person I thought of, but I saw it. I was like, thank God John's here to witness this fucking spider. God, he's making a house. We're going to have to deal with that thing because it's going to be a lot more where that came from. Tyler, get it with your paper towels. I'm going to stand over here in the corner with my knife. You might need a knife for that one. I'm not going anywhere near it. This is the good get all his eggs to defend off the spider with. I think he ran out the back. Yep. He's on the top. Oh, God. Oh, hell yeah. Sorry. No actual spiders were harmed in the making of this. Oh, no, that's like a thing. I think that Tyler Holland, you're my hero. The way that thing was lit because it was like underneath your fucking shade. When I saw him on top, I was like, Oh, he's not so scary now. Then when he dropped down into the light, yeah, dramatic. It was dramatic. It was like Gremlins to lighting. Beauty and the beast, AKA lampshade spider dies horribly. More at 11. More at 11. All right. That's it. We're done with Beauty and the Beast. Hell yeah. This could be your new steam name. Yeah. Because even though most people wouldn't know it's ironic, yeah, it would be. Well, our theme song is move. So I think we're traveling to that track when that's about to come. Hey, guys, I'll close it out as your favorite character from Beauty and the Beast. So until next time, drop it. Drop it. Drop it. Drop it. They was like, I didn't have a favorite character in the toilet. It was also the toilet from Look Who's talking. So just give me your baby, Bell. Now he's smarter than that. He's like, I'm gonna pretend that I am not a human. Because then she'll stop sitting there. Don't be on me and feeding me this delicious bell cider. Bell. Delicious bell cider is my new steam name. Give me your milk and cookie. That's pretty good. Oh, shit. Bye everybody. See you next week. Bye. Tadpog is hosted and produced by Tyler Holland, Dave Moore, and Ian Chandler and releases new episodes every Wednesday. You can find them on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and just about anywhere else podcasts are hosted. If you have a question or comment for the hosts, don't hesitate to call us at 270-883-2555 and leave us a voicemail. If we like it, we'll play it on the show and respond. If you'd like to send us something, you can do so at Tadpog Studios, care of Nicole Nance, P.O. Box 3785, Paducah, Kentucky, 42002. If you'd like to donate to the show, visit patreon.com/tagpog and with a minimum donation of $1 per month, you will get access to all of our fun bonus content. Join the conversation on our Discord server at bit.ly/tagpog discord. Registration is free and we'd love to have you there. If you enjoy our show and haven't already, don't forget to find and tap that subscribe button so you don't miss anything. Thanks for listening and we'll see you next week. One of the people that have the golden standing invitation ticket. Yep. We ain't given any more of those out. I use-minded parlay my way into the fucking posting seat. I'm not- we're not giving any more of those golden tickets out. I got the only one, exclusive. Well, there's others that could come anytime they want to, but after this, everyone that's been established is pretty much established, I think. I don't want to meet any other people. I don't need any of those. There's- there's the rub. I'm good. I've got my quantity. I've got my 108 stars. I'm good. I'm upset. Are you guys ready to keep going? Yeah, let's get started. Believe it!