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0:00 Intro
2:18 I faked an eye injury, ruining my bday party https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c2d4pg/aita_for_faking_a_serious_eye_injury_making_my/
7:50 We won’t throw her a bachelorettes if we’re not invited to the wedding https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1f86iij/wibta_if_i_tell_my_friend_her_bridesmaids_wont_be/
20:44 I left during my wife’s labor https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i7tiy9/aita_for_leaving_during_my_wifes_labor/
34:35 I didn’t get the same bridesmaid dress https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1g6d620/aita_for_not_getting_the_same_dress_as_the_other/
48:39 I refused to attend my mom’s renaissance themed party https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bbfsww/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_my_moms_renaissance/
56:11 My friend didn’t recognize my kid thus ruining her marriage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1g6pcee/aita_for_teasing_my_friend_about_not_recognizing/
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And today's theme is all about parties, celebrations, and you name it. We've got weddings, we've got all sorts of stuff today. And I am joined by two of my friends, Angela and Chance. [cheering] These are obviously going to be celebrations gone wrong. No. Oh, it's not like happy ending. The nature of these stories are rarely just like, and everything's good and everyone's happy. Yeah. This is not a wholesome episode. Oh. I don't believe so. Have you been at parties or celebrations that have gone wrong? Absolutely. Absolutely. My family threw me a surprise birthday party for my 16th birthday at Bubba Gump. And I hate attention when I can't control it. And I walked in there, saw everyone through a bit, started screaming and ran out. And you didn't come back. Then my dad had to go get me. Where did you go? I was just a teenager and I was crying outside and I was like, "Man, I don't want this! I hate this! I hate this!" 'Cause it was all my mom's friends, and it wasn't my friends. She got like two friends from my school, but then the rest was like my cousins. And I was like, "I don't want to do this. I don't like attention." And then my dad was trying to calm me down. And the waitress thought my dad was hurting me 'cause I was like, "Get off me! Get off me!" No, I made a bad celebration. It's hard to imagine you throwing a fit like that. Yeah, I was a, I was a, I was a crazy teen. I was screaming. Wow. Yeah. Chance? I've been to a couple surprise parties where the couple shows up. They're both were two different couples, but they were obviously fighting right before the surprise party, right before the surprise part. And they came into the door and it was just, you could tell that they did not want the party. They did not want to see people and they had to sit through the party. And then one of the parties that I went to where that happened, they did end up leaving half way through. Oh. They were just, they couldn't stop. Butting heads. Oh. Really awkward. Yikes. But hey, there was drinks, there was food. At least there was that. I was having a good time. Okay. Well, let's get into these stories. First one, "Am I the asshole for faking a serious eye injury, making my mom faint and ruining my birthday party?" So this happened at Bubba Gump. Alright. My mom thinks the height of humor is to smash me and my siblings faces into our birthday cakes. I have no idea why, but it amuses her to smash our faces into birthday. I just turned 15 and I told her that if she planned to do that to me again, I would rather not have a cake or even a party. She promised that she would not do it and she was upset that I threatened to not attend if she planned it without that promise. I knew she was lying because I know her. So I made a plan with my friends. One of them does cosplay and helped me out with a very basic trick. The other two that were there, were there to play along and make it worse. When my mom smashed my face into the cake, as expected, I screamed like I was shot. I took the patch I had in my hand and pulled my face away from the cake and put my hand on my eye. The patch had a stub of candle that stuck out between my fingers and some fake blood. My friends came to the rescue and I screamed that I couldn't see out of that eye. One of them looked under my hand and pretended to have to go to the bathroom to throw up. My mom literally fainted. Once that happened, I called off the joke pretty quickly. I showed everyone that it was just a joke, but the day was wrecked. There was fake blood everywhere and someone had called an ambulance, which was good because we ended up needing it for my mom. I didn't get in trouble because I showed my dad the text showing that my mom had promised not to do the cake thing. But my mom has pissed that I made her look bad and like a liar because I showed everyone the text because they were all mad at me to begin with. I think that if she hadn't lied, then nothing would have happened, so this is all on her. I love the receipts, Justice! It is. You said you wouldn't. You did. Now you faint, bitch. That's so funny. It's so good and it's so thought out. It's mega mind shit and I'm all about it. And if you really wanted to up that prank one more level when the mom like came to, they should have been like, "You've been in a coma for five years." No, I mean, she really did just reverse the prank on her mom. This is so funny. To a pretty powerful level, but she did say don't do this and the mom did it, so... That's what she gets. That's what she gets. And there is like risk, like you can't just shove someone's face and shit. People are all fainting scary, but it's so funny to think about something happening as we're going. Like what? She faints perfectly into the cake. Damon, during a betrayal, he had a blood in his mouth. What if we fainted? Do you remember that time? He had a blood capsule in his mouth? Yes, I do remember that. Yeah. Let me save you. Memories. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. What I will say is also, do they have a second cake? No. You trash the cake, you smash it if someone's facing the cake. I'm not eating that cake. No one's eating that cake. Yeah, you're wasting the cake. That's so true. They don't mention a second cake. No. But I don't know. No, I don't think, I'm not a huge fan of the smashing someone's face into a cake. Yeah, can it be funny? Sure, if everyone's cool with it. Isn't it a thing for weddings too? Apparently it's a thing. Apparently some people do that, but only if people are like laughing and want to do it. Yeah. Okay, go on my face. It's not funny. Okay, go on my face. Hey, do it. Do it. Please. Put the action on my chin. Someone please do it. Oh, honey. Yes. Yes. Yes. Some comments. You didn't make her look like a liar. She did that herself. Someone else had not the asshole smashing someone's face in the cake is classic narcissist behavior. It turns the focus back on them while taking the person being celebrated down a peg. Her reaction is typical of a cornered narcissist as well. I love it. As a mother, I honestly cannot wrap my mind around how any parent could be this casually cruel to their children. You're not the asshole, but your mother is fucking awful. I would never speak to her again. What an absolute bitch. Okay. She's a narcissist. She should. She should. Oh yeah. You should fucking kill your mom. Yeah. That's maybe take a little bit to never speak to your mom again. That's much. That might be a little too much. We don't know. We don't know enough about this relationship. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I love my mom so much, but I did grow up and birthdays, me and my brother's birthdays were also a little bit her celebration. Oh. Like she would always throw surprise parties because she loved it. And like when we were kids, it would be like a big theme that we would pick it, but it was like some parents like really enjoy that and sometimes get a little carried away. I agree. But this also seems like someone who laughs when people fall. You know what I mean? Like the people's misery. Yeah. You just absolutely lose me when someone's like, hey, please don't do that. And then you do it. 100%. And you say, I will not do that. That's a reach of trust. That's absolute. Yeah, right. That's absolutely crazy. Yeah. And it's your child. They're 15. Yeah. A 15 year old daughter. Like I just like anyone who's like at that age at 15, it's like, man, if they're saying don't do something, just don't do it, man. Don't do it. Like that age, everything feels like catastrophe. Like don't bully your kid. Yeah. Birthday. Like... Yeah. Yeah. Well, she fainted. Good. So fuck her. It's so funny. Woo! I hope she failed too. Move on to our next story. So this is a hypothetical. They're about to potentially do something. Okay. Okay. I don't usually like this because this is fake. No, it's not fake. It's not fake. It can happen. It's just that they're planning on doing something. I know, okay. But I be the asshole if I tell my friend her in quotations, bridesmaids won't be throwing her an extensive bachelorette party if we aren't invited to the wedding. If we... We... We will find out. Bridesmaids won't be a... This girl wants... I'm guessing this girl wants a bachelorette and is going to like a loaf or something. Okay. So I, 27 year old woman and friends with Jane, 28 year old woman. Jane and her fiance Brad, who's 29, recently got engaged. Jane is one of my best friends and we have known each other since college. When talking about our future weddings, Jane has always expressed that she wants me in a handful of our other closest friends to be her bridesmaids and to have a destination wedding. When I saw Jane and Brad the day they got engaged, one of the first things Jane said to me was how excited she was for me and our other friend to be her bridesmaids. This was about a month ago. However, now that Jane and Brad have started looking at wedding planning, they have decided to have a tiny destination wedding in Colorado and only their immediate family will be invited to save money. They also plan on having a casual party for all the rest of their family and friends after, but there will be no ceremony or sit down dinner and there will very clearly not be a second wedding. Even though I was disappointed and hurt to hear that I would not be invited to the actual wedding, I understand that it is their right to have whatever kind of wedding they want. And if it is not important to her that her best friends be there, that's her choice. But what irked me is that Jane still expects a bridal shower, a long weekend trip to an expensive destination for her bachelorette party, and mentioned a registry for wedding gifts. I find it a bit ridiculous that she still expects to have these things thrown by and presumably paid for by the people that aren't even invited to the actual wedding. She still insists on calling us her bridesmaids, but since we will not be present at the wedding and will have no special designation at the party, I don't see how we actually are. Our friends are a bit split on what to do about this. Some want to confront her about this. Some think that would be an asshole move. So would I be the asshole for telling Jane that if she's not having a traditional wedding, she can't expect traditional wedding benefits? Edit. I think a few people are misunderstanding my point here. I'm not saying I don't want to celebrate her at all or that she shouldn't get anything outside of her wedding. What's bothering me is her stated expectation of a big shower and bachelorette trip. She explicitly said she wants to go to Scottsdale. We are in Tennessee, so this requires a flight without an invitation to the wedding. She could throw any kind of backyard, courthouse, big, small, whatever wedding, and I would be happy to do all of the above as long as I was actually invited. Why is Scottsdale? You can get a really big Airbnb in Scottsdale and there's so much land and there's pool. I guess depending on the time of year it's going to be warm or something, I think what it is maybe that she's feeling is like there's an expectation. Yes, that's it. There's a lot of work in being a bridesmaid. I only know this from secondhand. Yeah. It's a lot of work to be and then it's like okay but I'm part of this ceremony, I'm part of this wedding so I'm putting in this work. And so it's like oh but this work is still expected of me even though the plan has now changed. Yes. And the problem is it started off as a wedding that she was going to be part of and all this stuff and then it switched and now she's not part of it. I wonder if the bride would, if this could all be kind of solved by just kind of like framing it differently. 100%. Yeah. I would say this isn't a bachelorette trip anymore but can we just throw a party? Or I think there's so much politics to brides stuff and bridesmaids and weddings and bachelors. And I think what the problem is here, we don't know like how the bride is framing the bachelorette but I think assuming that your friends will throw you a weekend getaway somewhere and you not like kind of leading the charge is I think that's the disconnect, right? Like it's like they're like oh we're doing all this and then we don't get to like do the other. Like does that make sense? Like it's like I understand that but like some of the best bachelorettes are when the bride is kind of like hey this is what I would like to do and have these plans and then you let everyone else decide like how they want to contribute. Yeah I think with how the bride is now going about this wedding it sounds like that's more the vibe like they've pared it down a lot and it's like with that it's like hey it's not about because I agree you're you're talking about oh this will be a really fun thing but the bride is still framing it in this more traditional sense as opposed to hey guys do we want to just go do something really fun yeah and we all do it together as opposed to you need to throw me a party. Exactly. Oh and like throwing out a hint of like oh Scottsdale it'd be fun it's like yes that's a lot of work of then like okay cool and then so and then you're gonna go off and get the air and be a bee you play on the trip and tell the bridesmaids where we get to celebrate. I have a feeling of the bride did all that she wouldn't be writing this post she'd be like oh yeah it's fine we're doing a different thing. No I think she thinks I think the only reason why she would be upset about this is if the bride put all the work on her does it make sense. Or she's assuming that the bride is going to put all the work on her. Yes exactly. It's sounding like that though. So then she's assuming I don't think they've gotten to that point yet true. But then I kind of understand it because you're like hey you want your cake and eat it too. Like you want to have the wedding part with us and we have to do all that work and then you get to go away and then we're going to spend all this money and then we don't get to like then like go to a party that you also planned because what also is like special about weddings is like the wedding sometimes it's different for every culture and every person and every state but like there's like sometimes it's the bride and the groom being like come celebrate with us right and we love you guys so we're going to feed you guys and we're going to like do this together. So kind of the bachelorette is kind of the way that the girls can get back to the bride. Does that make sense? Yeah. Like it's like I just did a bachelorette like literally a month ago and it was so clear that like her wedding my friend who's bride who's wedding it was that was so much a labor of love for her and her family to put on for the family and her friends. And the bachelorette was just us being like hey she's got a lot of work on her plate. Let's like have let's just do a fun weekend away and like she picked the spot she gave us all like the but then we were like let's fill it with things she loves so she doesn't have to plan that. So it was kind of like a I scratch your back you scratch my back kind of a little bit like a sacrificial giving right. And I think the only reason why this girl is probably like this is fucked is because she's not feeling given back to and it's just serve me serve me and then I'm going to go away and celebrate this and you can't even join that. I don't think she'll be the asshole for going and saying hey I don't think I want to go through with this now that the plan has changed. Yeah. I think she's an asshole for that. I don't think that's even the conversation now of if you're an asshole or not as much it's just like hey the plans have changed. So go about it now that the plans are changed like do a different thing now and it's just dangerous territory heralding it. Well weddings are for yourself. Yeah. But she needs to go as an individual and not explain it as we because she is the title is saying that we and it's you're not speaking for we do not speak. But then also I'll say like now I'm here and I have to always go both sides here and I'm like it's interesting that I think if the bride is like not just dumping this on them then I kind of respect the bride's wishes to be like this is how I'm doing my wedding and these girls being like well if we don't get to go dance on a dance floor then we don't that's not fun. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because I will say a lot of girls because the bridesmaids saying I just did. We weren't official bridesmaids. We didn't stand up there with her and we didn't like wear the same things. I also do not like when the bridesmaids or groomsmen stand up there with them I'm like let me sit down. Well some people it's really sweet. Let me sit the fuck down. This is not about me. You go do your ceremony. Sometimes people are nervous and they like their friends around. And I'll be right in the front row because you saved me the front row once we walk up and then I sit down. The family's in the front row but anyway um I'll say the family's in the second row. I think chosen family's in the first one. I think it gets really crazy because sometimes people take the words bridesmaids as like I'm best friend and then I get all these things because I am best friend or we are the group that we are your chosen people and we are the number one people and then sometimes they want more rather than like yeah this wedding I was a bridesmaid that we literally just got ready with her and did a bachelorette. Like no one knew we were that. It was just her making us feel special. I think at the end of the day both events the wedding and the bachelorette are just both parties being like I appreciate you. I love you. It's tough because you know I according I went such a different route and like we but I also see like I'm just it's hard for me to relate to the bride because I am someone who never would just expect people to do something like that for me and I my instinct is to think like oh well that's crazy to just have that expectation of someone. So I am on the OP side just in like just yeah that's crazy to expect you to do that. It's just you're not technically part of under percent. It's just expecting and not communicating. Yeah yeah like that it's it should be that hey huge change of plans so let's discuss what we want to do now in this state. The verdict was not the asshole comments not the asshole you aren't a bridesmaid so you should not be expected to carry out bridesmaid duties. Someone else said not the asshole I think it would be totally fair to still want a bachelorette party if she treated it in a similar fashion to the wedding meaning she was okay with it being small simple and inexpensive if she said hey it's a tiny wedding so I don't need a big wild weekend let's just go out for dinner and drinks one night okay that would be okay even if she wasn't inviting folks to the wedding but to say you can't come to the wedding but also but you have to do all the things that require you to spend time and effort and money for me still isn't acceptable. You can be small and low key or wild and big but you can't pick and choose and expect the guests to go along. 100 percent you can also be wild and big but communicate that and not pressure someone into that. Exactly. Just because you have a small wedding doesn't mean you have to have a small bachelorette you just can't expect and you can't pressure. Totally totally. Lastly someone said not the asshole you're 100% valid for the way you feel. Wedding traditions are so blurred that there is no right or wrong way of doing things. Yes. Yes. If you don't feel like spending hundreds if not thousands on a celebration you are not invited to then don't. Some individuals may feel they still want a partake in the celebration and that is great they can do so without expecting everyone else to do the same. I would set a firm boundary with them and then don't sway after that boundary is set. If you feel like the party they are doing after is enough simply say I will personally only be partaking in this event but I hope you have fun on whatever else you decide to do. Yeah. Yeah I definitely agree with that. This is just a lack of communication. 100 percent. It's just like communication and expectation like Chance knows that if I ever get married he's going to have to throw a four day long parade that ends in a musical. I know what. And I've communicated that. And I relish in that opportunity and it will be the best goddamn musical I've seen. But just saying. And when there's budget cuts and Chance has to do a one man show version of it. Well. Where he plays all the characters. Well? I've been waiting for this. But I've communicated that is my point. Yeah. I'm not going to expect the parade. I'm going to tell Chance where the gun to his head to do me a parade. I'm kidding. And I'll say you don't have to do this. We'll be like get theatrical go crazy. Yeah. I want to see this. I'm kidding. That actually sounds like a word. I do want. I do. Yeah. You just talk about hating the Bubba Gump story. I know. But now I want to parade. I know. That was just a joke. I will be great directing my own wedding. It will be a show. Okay. It will be. I'm exhausted. Just hearing it. Yeah. Like, does anyone have any objections? Yeah, bitch. There's going to be some. You're going to play an objection. Oh yeah. The fuck I am. That's going to be hilarious. That's actually so funny. No. I've never heard of that before. I've just never heard of anyone planning objections as a bit. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's going to make us go like my objection, my fat ass. No. I think I might hire actors that we know one has to. That we know one coming. That we know one coming has to like perform. They just guess. They get to enjoy the show. That's so funny. And that's so fun. I love that. Oh man. But what about my four day long parade? Yeah, that was cool. No, your weddings will be different. Your wedding will be different. Your wedding will be different. Our wedding will be different. [laughter] Why are you laughing? Okay. Next story. Am I the asshole for leaving during my wife's labor? [laughter] Scott. Listen. Listen. Boys, if the game's tied and we're in the fourth quarter, we got a little watch? Look man. I don't like it. That didn't land well. [laughter] Add that to the compilation. Stop. [laughter] Ten minutes of Angela giving herself the egg. Several fans like clipped. Clipped. All right. My wife went into labor around 6 p.m. on Sunday. We were expecting twins. It quickly turned into a very painful process. She kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed and nearly sprayed my shirt with vomit. Sounds really hard, dude. I was about to say. My mocking God. I'm having a really tough day. She's got two humans coming out of her vat. Her vagina is about to be the size of a fucking football. Yeah. And your hand hurts. Twice. Twice. Around 3 a.m. my dad calls. I work for my dad's company and we had a presentation for clients Monday morning that I had to get ready for. My dad heard my wife was in labor but told me he needed me on this presentation. He said there was nothing I could do to help my wife and delivery and seeing the baby come out was overrated and people don't prepare you for the gore. He said he needed me to rest up and make myself presentable for the presentation. My wife's labor was progressing very slowly and we were all certain she would need forceps or other assistants to deliver the babies. I realized that I couldn't help her here and my dad was counting on me so I told her I needed to leave. She started screaming at me so loudly that a few nurses rushed over to our room. I ended up doing the presentation with the clients and things went well. I leave the office and see a text on my phone that said my wife suffered an hour ago at around 10 30 a.m. and they had to use forceps. I would have missed the meeting had I stayed and my dad has given me everything he could possibly give me in life so I didn't want to let him down. Am I the asshole? I had responsibilities that I had to take care of and while my wife is still screaming at me saying that she was alone when they destroyed her body, I'm the only one who works and her mom herself said that she was emotional and overreacting. My wife even went as far as to say that her family would disown her if she was the first of them to divorce but that she doesn't consider me her husband right now. It's a lot. This is rich Shane. This is rich. I'm like fuming over here. You had a presentation though. This guy is Don Draper. It's just unfathomable. Like your dad needed you? No bitch. It sounds like your wife needed you. But it kind of makes sense with what the dad was saying where it's like this is what he was raised to believe. What could be the content of this presentation that it is so vastly important that you couldn't say my wife is in labor. Can we move it a couple of hours? Or just I can't make it. You can go do the presentation without me. There are moments in life where I'm like and I think it's a lot of moments in life are really tough to figure out where you're like at a fork in the road. And then there's moments in life where you know that at the end of your life you're going to like flash back to it and you're like all right the right decision is clear to me. Like it is so clear and I need to do this. And to anyone who might be like oh well maybe it seems like he couldn't figure it out. It's like well his wife was there screaming that she absolutely wants him there. That's where it is. That's the answer for you. Like I think my dad was late or so in my family like I do think there's a lot of especially with COVID and hospital. Well sometimes it strikes sometimes it like water breaks and it's like it's like people are in town. No no. And people try their best. Like I will say like the like the mandatory you weren't there. That I think it's the principle of like her needing help and her saying no. It's that he was there. And he left. And it's not just that. That's from. And she said please stay. It's not I was at work at a presentation. My phone was off and I didn't know and all this stuff. There's a ton of reasons. Yeah because like during COVID people couldn't go in there. But literally there she's squeezing his hand so hard that it's it's like brutal for him. And he can see the pain she's in. And his dad's going oh you don't want to see that gore. My favorite part. That's the richest part because I know that fucking dad plays fucking halo and all this fucking gun shit and bloods everywhere. But I don't want to see gore down there. That's hilarious. That's disgusting. That's hilarious. I think there might be a possibility that he didn't want to be there. And I there's a possibility that he's not being with us honest with himself. That he did not want to be there. Or he did. He did not want to see. I disagree. And he chose the presentation so he did not have to. So that he could go home and get a good night's sleep. So that he. How could you go home and sleep while your wife is in labor? It's gory dude. Her cookie looks scary. Can you imagine like the person you are dedicated to? Can you imagine the person you're dedicated to the rest of your life that you're supposed to love more than anyone? Is there on a bed screaming while doctors are doing all sorts of stuff while a human is coming out of her body? And you're like I'm going to go home and sleep. And you can. Yeah. Your body can. You can go home and you can sleep. I don't blame her for being like I might divorce. 100%. And I think what it's also though it's giving. You know how like there are a lot of people. I feel like I see it a lot in movies so maybe it's not real. But like a lot of people who before they have kids they're just like a child right up until they hold this kid. And then they're like oh my God. Because what was interesting is he said that his dad gave him everything. Meanwhile his wife is quite literally giving him the rest of his future. Like which will be so plentiful with kids and like beautiful. But he is no concept of that. And all he can see is what his dad has given him. So his dad is a bigger deal to him right now than his wife. And it's interesting because I do feel like once he realizes the riches of like having a family or whatever I mean maybe he's not into it. But like it does feel like he thinks the only thing the only gifts given to him were from his dad and I just disagree. It's just one of those times like you know I'm not like a I'm not a religious person but but your literal wedding vows are like hey I'm going to stick with you in the worst of times. It's like this is quite literally the promised moment like you promised to be here and you're breaking that. She's actively screaming and saying yeah it's really sad to leave someone in physical distress. I'm kind of blown away. Yeah. I also think that there is familial patterns in our DNA that are so inherent that we don't even look at a lot of the time. And I think he is hopping on to his dad's train and I think I'm not a fortune teller but if this is a boy and he raises that boy the same way his dad raised him the pattern is going to continue. Yeah you're right. Unless he does. It's like the pattern is there but it's also you know what I'm also going to say this there's an added layer here. I think they're stupid on a professional level. They have a presentation they're like this huge presentation that's really important. It's like can you imagine if the dad walks the grandpa walks in there and he goes guys my son couldn't be here today because he's actively in the room with his wife while she's giving labor and it's like I'm about to be a grandpa. Anyways I'm going to do my best right now to present this to you. Oh I'm an investor. I'm sobbing my wallet down. Cash is raining down. That's what I hate is when a story is stupid on multiple levels where I'm like you failed everything. You had it all in the bag right there. You didn't have to sacrifice anything here. And I will say sometimes there are professional environments. I don't know what this professional environment is but sometimes that is not a valid excuse. If he was a heart surgeon. Yeah. In that hospital it's like hey someone's heart is exploded. It's like oh well I can save that life. Okay. Sometimes these Wall Street boys sometimes tech bros that the meeting is so important and if it doesn't happen then it won't happen. So I don't know the gravity of this. That still goes back to if once and he's 80 years old and he's dying. What matters. Is he going to think back and go I should have done that differently. That's where I'm like I know what I'm going to regret. Maybe I'm very in tune with it but I often in those moments I'm like I know what I'm going to regret later. And so I'm like I have other updates on what the meeting was or anything. There are no updates. This guy and his dad suck so badly. It's crazy. There's no update because the verdict is asshole. Right. They're not going to update that. Oh 100%. That could be like update. Yeah. So she hates me. Yeah. Update. That's what I'm talking about. Also, also mind you. Mind you. Think about this. What? His child was born. These twins. His children were born. To my lord. And he's right. He's to my lord. His children were born. And he's writing a Reddit story asking people if he's an asshole about this. Oh my god. He doesn't mention his children. This is his focus right now. You're so fucking right. You're so fucking right. That's his focus right now. You, you, first time you're alive. What was the title? What was the title called again? The title is, am I the asshole for leaving during my wife's labor? But like you're worried about whether you're an asshole or not about the decision you made. You have brand new children. You're a father. Yeah. And this is your focus? There was also no remorse in that. No. That's why I wonder. The first paragraph is comical. Yeah. Oh my favorite part is two. And he's like her mom was even saying she was being dramatic. Yeah. Broke. Another woman said that she. Shut up. Shut up. Comments. You're the asshole. I realized that I couldn't help her here. Yeah. You could. You could provide a comforting supportive presence while she's extremely scared and in pain. Instead you abandoned her which made everything even more stressful. And seeing the baby come out was overrated. It's not. There's a reason why people usually list the birth of their children as the most memorable moments in their lives and you missed it. Someone else said you're the asshole. God. You may be the biggest asshole of the week. Your wife. Who vowed to stand by for the rest of your life was having what could likely be the most traumatic experience of her life and instead of supporting her you left her because you figured helping your dad was more important. The second you get married your nuclear family becomes your wife and any children you have. They should become your first priority and you've managed to abandon them all at the time when your wife needed you and missed the birth of your children. You'd be lucky if you ever get to see those kids. You need a reality check. It's unfortunate your wife doesn't want to divorce you. Hopefully she changes her mind. What? Someone else said you're the asshole. There are no clients anywhere that would expect you to be at a presentation on the day of your wife's giving birth, WTF. Someone replied to that saying, "If I was the client and I learned he missed the birth to sell something to me, I would try to find someone else to do the work." You're the asshole and so is your dad. The apple didn't fall far from the tree here. Absolutely. Yeah. Also, just listening to that made me think of another thing like I think some people's idea of caretaking is like, "Well, if I can't do anything to help her, I'm not of any help." And I think sometimes in the biggest moments, we need someone to just be there when it's painful. Like you don't have to do anything. You don't have to like just stand there with me. Just make me not alone. It's a peak kind of masculine thought that I can understand how a lot of dudes think it where it's like, "Oh, I can't actually physically do anything." Like the nurse is better than not me. They don't understand like, "Oh, emotionally." Yeah. That's what you're doing. Just your presence there in a time of physical anguish is that's enough. Yeah. And I understand to a degree what you were saying of like, "Maybe he didn't want to be there." Because I also understand like there's a discomfort and I'm sure a lot of guys feel it. It can be really hard. I mean, she's in labor. No, but you're right. That's really hard. But I think for a lot of guys and probably people in general, it's hard when it's like, there's moments in life where it's like, "I can do nothing but be here and see you suffer." And it will actually be unhelpful to try to help in any other way. All I can do is be here for you. I think that is wild. And a lot of guys, I think, are bad at it. It's hard. Because you have to just sit there and you just have to be there. I've noticed it because I'm someone who wants to like do something. Where I recognize that I'm like, "Oh, it's not being helpful when I'm like, "What can I do anything? What can I do?" Yeah. To control the flow of the universe, you can just sit there as it passes. Sometimes care-diggy isn't like actionable. And I think like my friend right now is going through a breakup and it's so hard for me to not do anything. I'm like, "Let's go somewhere. Let's do this. Let's do this." Yeah. And sometimes like being a good friend and partner is just like being there. What I'm really bad at is moments where I'm like, "Oh, I shouldn't give advice. I shouldn't say anything." I need to just be like, "That sucks." Just like, "Let's watch TV." One thing I'm working on is I'm about to do the thing that I'm saying I'm not doing. Instead of giving advice, I'll share a personal story of how I experienced something like that so that they can find some way. I relate in some way, but I was reading online. That's not always helpful and then they're like, "And sometimes truly nothing is the best." At least I read, bitch. Fuck. Damn. You want to shoot daggers, shoot daggers? No, it just took you a while to get there and it was fun. Holy shit, bro. Now you know how I feel every day. Oh my God. Our next story comes from this episode. This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. 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Saver of flavorful, bloomin' French onion, sirloin, if you're nice. Or sink your teeth into a sizzling 18-ounce bone-in ribeye with signature spices, as long as you don't owe millions in taxes causing you to flee the country and start a new life as a struggling Swedish DJ. Enjoy Steak-ma-season at Outback Steakhouse for a limited time. Outback Steakhouse, no rules, just right. Of two hot takes, out to Morgan, the subreddit always has some of the best stories. Am I the asshole for not getting the same dress as the other bridesmaids for my sister's wedding? Okay. I like this. If everyone else is in the same dress, you're the asshole. I like this. I, Daisy, 22 woman, am the maid of honor to my sisters, this is Tori, 25 woman, wedding for January 2025. Our whole family is beyond excited about the wedding. I am so happy that Tori finally found her dream man, Jack 26. Tori has not had good love experiences throughout the years and had bad relationships that did not end well. I am really grateful that Jack is in her life because he gets along very well with me and the rest of my family. Tori is my sister and I love her, but as siblings, we have our good days and bad days. So here goes the whole story. I was beyond happy when my sister Tori chose me as her maid of honor. I, of course, accepted right away and started looking for dress options. The problem is the style/design of the dress, not the color. I actually love the color Tori chose. It is a beautiful lavender color. For months, I looked at different websites for my dress and there were pretty good options, but none convinced me. About three months ago, we found a website/app that sells designer dresses for special occasions like prom, weddings, and cocktail parties for a fair price. The dresses on this app are beautiful and nicer than the previous ones I saw on the other sites. I right away searched for maid of honor dresses in lavender and there were so many options. I scrolled and scrolled for a long time until I found three nice dresses that were possible options for the wedding. I scrolled once again and found this dress with an A-line of the shoulder with a low back design. As soon as I saw the dress, I said, "This definitely is my dress." I showed the dress to my mom and she agreed with me. I sent Tori the pictures of the other three dresses and the one I chose, which was the last picture I sent. Tori told me that she liked the dress I chose better than the other three I sent her first. Also, she told me to wait a little more to get the dress. Since there was still time for the wedding, I ended up waiting, so there is my proof. Three weeks ago, Tori texted me and asked me what dress I chose for the wedding. I again sent her the picture of the dress I chose. She said, "Yeah, so we are not going with that dress. I want to stick to the same dress for all the bridesmaids." I was in shock because she didn't let me know sooner. Tori sent me a picture of the dress she chose for the bridesmaids and it is an infinity dress. The infinity dress can be styled in many different ways in the upper body area but has no other designs and looks very plain. The only reason why Tori chose that dress is because one of the bridesmaids did not like any other options of dresses except the infinity dress. Tori even sent a picture of my dress, the one I chose, but she did not like it at all. The other bridesmaids will just go along with what my sister Tori says and there is no issue with them whatsoever. I had a huge fight with Tori over this because I told her, "I get it is your wedding, but as the maid of honor, my dress has to be the same color, but the same style/design as the other bridesmaids and I don't like the other dress." Tori answered, "I don't like it that way, and like you said, it is my wedding." I once again told her, "I don't like the dress you chose, and I am sorry but I am going to wear it." Tori told me, "Well, it is either that dress, or you can stay home and not go to my wedding." Right after her answer, Tori walked out the door extremely mad. Since our fight, we have seen each other, but we barely speak. My two brothers mom and dad have taken my side. They say that Tori is overreacting and cares more about that one bridesmaid's opinion than mine. Also, they say that Tori has not had any consideration for me as her maid of honor because not once did she ask for my opinion and help to choose the bridesmaid dresses. My parents and my brother still cannot believe Tori and I had a fight over this situation. My mom told me, "Oh my God, so Tori decides not to take your side as her sister but prefers to take Jack's mom, Tori's future mother-in-law, her side, and is going to let her wear the dress of her liking." Side note, in the early preparations of the wedding, Tori and Jack decided that the mothers were going to wear the same color dress. My mom and Jack's mom both agreed to wear the same color dress for the wedding. Jack's mom went back on her word and decided not to wear the same color dress as my mom. So, am I the asshole? There's a discrepancy where they said that she wasn't even consulted on what her opinion of the dress was, but she was consulted. She sent pictures of three dresses and the one that she chose, and the sister said, "Yeah, I like that one too." So she was consulted. Yeah, yeah, that's what it sounded like. Ultimately, when it came down to it and she goes, "This is the dress that we're doing." And then she says, "To the bride's face, well, I'm doing this other dress." That's not how that works. Yeah. And then the bride goes, "Well, you know, you're doing what I'm going to do or you're not going to go." I mean, it's like, what are you going to do at that point? It is also like, it should have been like, "Okay, can we choose this dress over the infinity dress? Like, why is her opinion more valid than mine?" Yeah, she wants to bring that up to the bride instead, but even still, it's like the bride is making a decision. And what kind of frustrates me is she's bringing up this, how the mother-in-law kind of went back on her word, and it's like, "Well, the mother-in-law got to do what she wanted, so why don't I?" It's like, no, there's proof that someone else has already pressured her and pissed her off, probably. Yeah. And then you add to that and also be selfish. Yeah. And that's why that part's in the story. Also, not your fucking wedding. Yeah, I'm like, dude, I don't know, unless there's a really good reason. But it is your fucking body. But you did send all those dresses. You kind of sent those dresses being like, "These all work. You had a favorite, but you sent all those dresses." True. I got picked. I was like, "Oh, I really hope this dress is like for a body comfort thing or just like a personal, this is my body and I'm not comfortable in that." But then when I heard it just had an open back and I liked that, I was like, "Okay, we'll buy that for another party." Yeah, there's plenty. I was like, "Oh, that's the reason why you're putting your foot down is because you look great and open back." Also, the price of this relationship, the price of the wedding is now what you look like in a dress. That doesn't seem worth it to me. Yeah, there's plenty of, I think there would be plenty of reasons where I'd be like, "Okay, if for whatever reason, maybe the dress was too revealing and she's like, "I don't feel comfortable." Exactly, like, there's so many things. Yeah, there's plenty of reasons where I'd be like, "I don't feel comfortable in this." But that's not the angle you can tell. Exactly. That's what I was hoping this was, because I was like, "Oh, that would be a more nuanced conversation." But if this girl just wants to wear this because she likes this one more, I hate to break it too. I hope your social life is bigger than this and I hope you could just buy that dress for another thing, because this isn't your only time. Also, those infinity dresses, I was a bridesmaids and we all had those infinity dresses, and it was because there were so many different ages, body types, there were pregnant bridesmaids, there are so many, it's really terrifying when you have someone say, "You have to wear this," right? And it's not like a, it's hard to fully be like, "My body is yours to put whatever you want on," right? So it's already a vulnerable spot. So that's why I was kind of fighting for this girl for a second. But now I'm like, "Ugh, just, this isn't your wedding." There's also this sense of, "I get it, it's your wedding." But what I will also say is you're trying to control other people, like you're telling them that they're in their wedding, but you're trying to control what other people are putting on their bodies, how they're being presented, and that doesn't, like that traditional wedding vibe, I don't fuck with that. And that's fair. That, I get that they're going to be standing up there. You can't, they're not dolls, like they are real people with real emotions that you love and care about, and you should be able to have an open, honest communication, and they should be able to wear what they want to wear at your wedding. Right. But, and there's many such situations where I agree with that. This is a situation where this person, this OP sent four options, saying, "I like, these all work for me." One was picked and then they're going, "Nah." Yeah. I want the other one because I like it. Exactly. It's like, "No, that's the problem." I agree if it's like, "Hey, you're all wearing, here's the dress that I'm picking that you guys haven't seen and going, "I can't wear that," for whatever reason. That's, I agree with that. And there's probably a lot of situations. Yeah, you sent this as a suitable option. Yeah. You have to deal with the consequences. There's a million varieties as an option that I might pick. Yeah. And, and look, you are allowed to go, "Then I'm not going to the wedding," you're allowed to do that. I'm also thinking, like, as the bride, like, like, what, it sounds like this bride, like, with the, with the moms being in the same color, it seems like she's like, wants a picture, like, this is for, like, pictures, and that she wants it to, like, be a color scheme for the picture. I would even be like, "Where this for the fucking picture and the ceremony?" You can get into whatever the fuck you want after. But like, at the end of the day, they're wearing something uniformed because I think of the ceremony and the pictures. Like, I don't think it really matters. But it depends on each person. Yeah. I think, I think if this was the angle, if it was a truly discomfort angle, then I think, the answer is she needs to talk to the boss about that. She just likes to open back. But this is not sounding, this isn't sounding like that. Yeah. This is something that's come from a different place. It's hard for me to personally relate to because, you know, I never did the, like, traditional stuff. Yeah. And it never mattered to me. Yeah. And it's, it always, it sounds strange to me, but I know how important it is to people. Yeah. And I think what weddings really come down to is it's like, it's a time to show respect to these two people. Yeah. And it's just, I, I think OP is an asshole for reasons outside of even the, like, what happened in the story. The first comment sums it up pretty well. And I was, I didn't think about it until now. Someone said, your first paragraph, by the way, the verdict was asshole, which I think is fair. Yeah. She's, she's. Your first paragraph of completely unnecessary info. She has a history of bad love relationships at the ripe old age of 25. Show both your immaturity and the way you look down on your sister. Your job as made of honor is to show up, support the bride, and make her life easier in any way you can. You are failing spectacularly. I love that. Either shut up and wear the dress she wants or step down because it's not about you. Maybe for the first time in your life, based on your family's reaction, which is ridiculous, too. You're the asshole. Yeah. I do feel bad that the family is all-siding with her. Yeah. And this sounds like a interesting family dynamic. Yeah. Yeah. Someone said, you sound incredibly self-righteous and entitled. You're the asshole. Massively so. You can choose dresses when you are getting married. For someone else's wedding, you wear what they choose. Your family being on your side is absurd. Are they scared of you or something? I feel incredibly sorry for your sister. She should be all excited and happy about her upcoming wedding and not have her life made difficult by an entitled little sister and favorite playing parents. I can just imagine the bridezilla you are going to be at your own wedding when bridesmaids refuse to wear what you choose for them. Again, you're the asshole. It's just like team players. It's like ensemble stuff where you're like, my god, if I had, if I had, if I was picky about the shit I had to wear in this building, like that potato costume for the Spudhat video for members only doesn't show my back enough. I'm like, you had no fucking clue. Yeah. When you work with, like, you just got to be a yes person, sometimes when you're working on a team. Right. Sorry, I got deep there. That's okay. I did put you in there. I do agree though. I do agree though. There's situations in life where it's like, hey man, like if you're a taster, you're in this situation, like you're trying to make their time easier. Yeah. It's stressful for them. It's not about you. Yeah. When any sacrifice of any kind is such a toll on someone, it's a red flag. But I also understand, and this is not this situation, but I also understand, like, it is an interesting thing to be like, you get to choose what someone wears. It's so scary. That sounds weird. No, it's so hard. And that is a hard tradition. And I think being the brighter groom, you would be mindful. And all of the weddings I know, they were mindful of that. Yes, you have to be. And it sounds like, it sounds like to a degree though, the stress that was picked, I don't know much about infinity dresses, it sounds like it was picked in what you were saying where it's like, this is going to be comfortable for like so many options. I know, but like the idea is that nobody's going to be uncomfortable. I just think it's an antiquated idea. You just choose a color and you just make sure everyone is in so close. I really think unless it's like a discomfort from like a real intense like, aspect of your being, then it's like, okay. That's why I was like picking up my battle shield or ready to fight for this person. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Because plenty of people have, you know, extreme discomforts with their own body. Yeah. And I understand that. But unless it's coming from there, if you're able to just be like, okay. Yeah. 100%. Like, cause it's sad. This, and maybe I'm misinterpreting it, it sounds like this is coming from a place of like, well, I want to look fucking hot. Yeah. And it's like, no, that's not what this is about. Yeah, no. I hate when people tell me what to wear to the wedding. And sometimes I've been to a couple, I went to like six weddings one year. And I had like exotic looks, but I would always like, ask the bride and groom before I like, but one groom was like, you can't wear that. And I was like, that's so, it wasn't anything crazy, but it was like my family's a little more conservative. And I was like, that's not even a good reason. I wasn't even in the wedding party, I just wanted to share that. That's okay. And I looked so hot, it was such a good suit. My parents once showed up to a wedding where everyone was asked to wear all white, my parents wore black, and they didn't read the invitation. It's the funniest picture. I have to say. Fuck. That's awesome. And they, I was like, it was mortifying. Next story, am I the asshole for refusing to attend my mom's Renaissance fair themed birthday party? Hilarious. I don't believe in the Renaissance. I'm sorry, mom, I don't believe in that. Da Vinci didn't exist. My mom recently turned 50 and my family has been experiencing some tension. I'm currently planning a wedding and my mom has been nothing but cold and standoffish with my bride to be. I have addressed her behavior multiple times and the answer is always, well, she isn't my fiance. Well, I'm shy. Well, you picked her not me. Damn. Well, I'm shy. I finally blew up and we had a long heart to heart and she confirmed my fears that she doesn't like my fiance much and finds her annoying and vapid. I told her if she ever acted on those feelings, she would be disinvited from the wedding. My fiance recently had a bridal shower slash bachelorette weekend at Disney as she is a huge Disney person. Growing up, we rarely went to Disney as my stepdad and I preferred universal. Whoa. That's so funny. That's so funny that that's the reason. I never knew my mom had opinions regarding Disney and it got back to me that she was making fun of the bridal shower, calling it things like lame and embarrassing. When I confronted her, she expressed her concerns. She felt it was self-indulgent that she was having so many pre-wedding events and she was salty about being given a matching shirt to wear. Apparently, she didn't want to be in the bride squad. She tried to brush this off by saying Disney was childish and themes are lame. I ended up skipping my mom's birthday trip to Italy due to other commitments. To be fair, she was cool with this. I planned on taking her to dinner sometimes since 50 is a big deal but I received an invitation to a surprise party on the day of her actual birthday and decided to attend. When I got there, it was full, rent fair themed, costumes, games, food, performers. It was like her own personal fair. Now, I don't think people would suspect this because she gives off two cool vibes but my mom loves renaissance fairs. It started as a joke with her and a friend that it is an excuse to dress slutty but that was years ago and now they are her thing. To be honest, it was an amazing party, probably one of the sickest parties I've seen but I immediately felt pissed. How the hell is rent fair less cringy, childish or embarrassing than Disney? And why isn't it excessive that my mom had a trip abroad plus this party? I just could not stop thinking fucking hypocrite. My mom walked in and was surprised. Then she went to change and I couldn't take it anymore. I told my aunt that I was leaving and that if my mom wanted me, she could call and personally apologize to my fiance. My aunt called me a prick so I left with my fiance and guess who never called? Now my family is saying I'm an ass for missing both of her celebrations when 50 is a huge deal. Also, apparently they are mad because they feel my fiance used the party to get insta-likes but like what? She didn't know we would be leaving early. I will say the things we hate and other people are most often the things we hate in ourselves. I think you are an asshole for shaming someone or judging someone for their interests. She likes Disney. They are interests but she does too many pre-parties but you are going to Italy and you had a full renaissance fair. That's so true. You put it in on her. You don't like what you are the same. They are the same. They are the same. And you are saying she is crazy. And you think bridesquad. She is up-staging you and you are scared. A new supreme gets coming and you feel your power draining. She likes Universal instead of Disneyland. That line kills me. She likes Disney but we are more of a minions family. They wanted to go on Space Mountain and we said let's do the Simpsons. We are going to do the mummy instead. And I love Universal and I am not going to make fun of anyone who loves it. But also that is fucking crazy. I don't like Universal. I like it. But I mean like it is like- I don't like Universal. Okay. You know we live in California. Yeah. I don't like Universal because the ride you ride the most is the escalator. Yeah. This mom can't do it. But with the right people it feels like a ride. This just sounds petty as hell. Yeah. All of this. This is definitely a petty story. The verdict was asshole. Oh. But. Asshole that he left the party. That he left the party. All the comments are we have three comments here and they are all different takes. Okay. Okay. I am excited because I wouldn't have left the party. I do think the mom, he might be the asshole but the mom is an asshole. Yeah. I was saying at the party party. Don't tell like talking shit on her for liking Disney. I mean yeah. The mom sounds like an asshole based on all the comments, all the quotes in this. The mom is an asshole. But is he an asshole for leaving this party or not? The top comment or not the top. One of the comments. You're the asshole. You want your mom to be more accepting of your fiance. You bailed on her 50th birthday twice. Maybe not a good way to go about it. Also, the second party was a surprise so it's not like it was planned like the bridal shower thing. And while your mom thought the event was silly, she still participated. You stood her up intentionally and then demanded an apology. Okay. I kind of understand that too. Like I would have stayed at the party because I would have been like here's what I wish you would do for my wife is stay here and wear the bride's squad shit. Yeah. You know they're showing up for you the way you didn't show up for me. Yeah. And that's the best way. That is the best way. There's situations in life where it's like, okay, this is an opportunity to either make things a little easier for us going forward or I can get vengeance. Exactly. Tharsis. Yeah. But things are going to be worse. But I also validate the fact that like sometimes when you're feeling so shitty from someone's actions, you don't want to be at that party and like I get it like totally. Other comment, everyone sucks here. Ignore all the Disney haters. It's not my thing but to each their own. Your mom shouldn't be making fun of your fiance. She is overstepping and good for you for shutting that down and being a supportive partner. That being said, you should not have caused a scene and stormed off from the party. That should have been a private conversation later and you should have just stayed for a little bit and then dipped. Lastly, someone said not the asshole. Your mom hid the fact that she didn't like your fiance while avoiding wedding planning. Call me crazy but that's unusual. Even if she's not the biggest fan of your fiance, she should still respect the relationship. Publicly ridiculing someone by calling them childish or lame because they enjoy a fantasy world while having someone throw you a surprise party. Themed around a fantasy world is hypocritical. You stood up for your fiance and set boundaries before things got out of hand. The only way you could be the asshole is if you're leaving out something that your fiance did. Otherwise, your mom definitely owes both of you an apology. Renaissance isn't necessarily a fantasy, Renaissance was a period of time in history. Speak on it. But they often, Renaissance fairs, include fantasy elements like fairies and dragons and shit. Sick. Just so you guys know. Thank you. Awesome. But Renfaire usually involves me getting just so black. That's what Renfaire is for. Oh. Absolutely. I've never seen people drunk her. Yeah. Not the Renaissance fair. So is Bright Squad. Bright Squad. Bright Squad. These stories I enjoy because we're talking about petty stuff. We're talking about some bullshit. People say and mean things. And revenge. You're doing stuff. We've got a bunch of different angles of this. I don't necessarily think, I can't necessarily disagree with any of them. So sound off in the comments what your thoughts are on this. Yeah. I'm curious. Universal heads. Rise up. Universal heads. Let's get a comment for Universal and a comment for Disney and see who wins. Disney's gonna. Disney's gonna make our final story. Am I the asshole for teasing my friend about not recognizing my kid, thus ruining her marriage and an unrelated engagement party? Feels like it has three acts. Yeah. So there's multiple, there's a domino effect. Yeah, okay. That's right. So me and my wife have a five year old son. Our group of friends is mostly couples with kids as we are nearing our forties. And so a lot of our meetings with friends now include meeting up as entire families. Kids included. Kids can sometimes mean a lot of adults and a lot of kids. One person in this group, Emma, fake name, used to be my roommate in college. She was married and has her own kids. And we hang out with her and her husband sometimes in a group setting, but rarely on our own. Emma also tends to run late often. This is all relevant to the story. As our son is an only child, we sometimes worry that he wouldn't really learn to share or get along with other kids. To prevent this, and while I love spending time with him, I would sometimes preemptively nudge him to engage with other kids when we are in public playgrounds, or at the beach or the pool. To that end, when I buy him a water pistol or an RC car or the like, I'd often just buy two or three. I'd get to the playground and play with him. And when another kid would show interest in toys, I'd just go, "Oh, you want to play with us?" And hand him the remote or the pistol or whatever, thus getting the kids to play. This works great quite often, and I have a generally good relationship with the parents in our neighborhood. This is also relevant. One day, like a year back, me and my wife were planning on taking our kid to the pool. I pack my large bag of pool toys, Emma texts me. Her husband is away that day, and she's looking for something to do with the kids. I talk to my wife and tell Emma we're going to our local pool and she's welcome to join us. But we're planning on heading there early, so she can just join us whenever. We arrive at the pool pretty early and get a really good spot poolside, right by the shallows. I grab some water pistols, and me and my kids start playing world domination. I'm trying to take over the world and can only be stopped through the power of water pistols. It's a whole thing. Kids love it. Soon, another kid is there. It's a kid from my son's kindergarten class. He's there with his mom. He is, of course, welcome to join us. We know the family, the mom and my wife are pretty friendly, and our kids play together often. So my wife says she wants to go for a swim, and the kids mom says she wants to join her, and asks me if I'm okay watching the kids. I say sure, since by this point the kids are blasting each other with water pistols and I'm just chilling poolside, just occasionally having to call out, "Oh no, my plans for world domination ruined," because sometimes that's just what parenting is. Then Emma and her kids show up. She is really happy to see me, and I give out toys to her kids. All is going well. Then my son's friend runs up and asks for some other toy, and I go, "Sure thing," and hand it to him. Emma goes, "Oh my God, so cute. He looks just like you." I laugh and say, "Okay, cool, but this isn't my kid." Now in her defense, the kid does look kind of like me, making this kind of hilarious. When my wife and the kids mom come back, I tell them this story. They also find it hilarious. We all have a friendly chuckle, but think little of it. Fast forward to a few months ago. Oh no, girl, give it up, grow up, move on. I haven't seen Emma in a while. We were at a friend's group gathering, and it was a good time all around. When we're about to call it a day, me and Emma are at the entrance. She's grabbing her stuff, and I'm on my second trip from the car. This toy is kids' clothes, dirty dishes, Tupperware with leftovers, I want, etc. And I call it to Emma's husband, "Hey, can you call my wife and kid over? Just make sure it's actually my kid and not some random kid who kind of looks like me." I think it's a hilarious callback. He seems confused and kind of angry. He asks, "What the hell I'm talking about? Why would he call a random kid?" I'm also confused, so I tell him the pool story. He doesn't laugh. Emma doesn't laugh either. The entire thing now feels kind of awkward. I awkwardly say goodbye, "Go grab my wife and kid, myself, and we leave." Later that day, I text Emma to ask if everything is all right. I get no reply. I text her again a few days later. No reply. I get the distinct sense I fucked up, but also if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'm not going to force the issue. I leave well enough alone. At worst, I thought she was mad at a joke I made, which was apparently in poor taste. Boy, howdy did I underestimate the fallout of this joke. A few days ago, this goes through time. A few days ago, I arrived at a friend's place and Emma was there. This is an engagement party, so no kids. I wasn't supposed to come, but decided at the last minute and my wife was at home with our kid. Emma sees me and is livid. She wasn't expecting to. She only came because she thought I wouldn't be there. She does, however, take the opportunity to tear me a new one, though. She calls me out in front of everyone because of my joke. Originally said with air quotes, her husband was furious. From what she said and what I gathered from mutual friends afterwards, she previously commented on someone else's kid looking like someone who wasn't his father, except that whole thing led to a family drama in Emma's husband's family because in that case, that dude was cheating and that was his kid and a whole bunch of people were really hurt in the aftermath. Emma's husband was furious because he apparently thought she would know better than to comment on kids looking like people again. Yup. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Learn your fucking lesson. Patterns. Shane. Patterns. Oh my God. You either break free or you keep doing the same thing. I was like, no way this is going to like get good and hit cock good. It got good. It got good. This is my wife, Larry David. This sent them down a spiral, especially because the husband apparently thought she told me that other family story and that I was mocking him for his family drama and he thought the story I told was just covering for her when I realized I fucked up. This was not the case. I had no idea that whole thing happened. Still, he didn't believe Emma when she told him, so they are now separated. She calls me an asshole and says I ruined her marriage. I am not a confrontational person. I apologize profusely. I say I didn't know and if she didn't want me telling the story, she should have said something. She tells me I'm making excuses. This is now a scene. I apologize profusely again and leave quickly after telling the couple a quick congratulations. I am later told this was anything anyone could talk about at the party and now the engaged couple are mad at me too. Emma is even more mad because now everyone knows her drama. I am unfriended and unfollowed on everything. Some friends think I couldn't have known better and the joke was pretty benign. Other friends say it was written really poor taste to throw her under the bus and I am totally the asshole. Emma's best friend, who I also know from college, thinks I did know about the whole thing with her husband and now I'm just covering my own ass to get away with being cruel. It has been a few days and some of my friends will no longer talk to me. Others think she is wrong to blame me and that marriage was doomed anyway. Still, I feel really guilty about making the joke and I obviously wouldn't have made it had I known the trouble it would cause. I like Emma and I didn't want to hurt her. I also liked her husband. I like to say that maybe he was wrong to let the marriage implode like that because of a stupid joke but at the same time I don't really exactly know his family drama and their history or the specifics of his relationship with Emma so I can't really say he's wrong for overreacting. The entire thing just kind of sucks. My wife sort of got my back though. She thinks the joke was hilarious and actually thinks breaking up their marriage makes it even funnier because WTF. She also loves crazy Reddit stories so she sent me to post this so at least I got that going for me which is nice. So am I the asshole? No. No, this is hilarious and it's also like Emma, wake the fuck up. She is not the reason that your marriage is falling apart. Your marriage was already falling apart. If you are able, if you are separating because someone goes, oh yeah, your wife said this kid looked like me. It's like then your marriage was so close to breaking. Yeah. Yeah. OP isn't an asshole. He just has a story to tell. That's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. I mean it happens to people where you don't realize you're saying the thing that has so much context. I love it. It's like a spell out of nowhere. It's absolutely a Seinfeld episode. This is a Seinfeld episode. It's perfect. George, this is a George. You are so right. This is so Larry David coded. It's that absolutely is what it is where it's like you just didn't know you absolutely collapsed the music. It's exactly what they needed to hear. It is exactly what was supposed to happen. God. It's so wild, but like God, I would have spiraled too. I would have been like, I must have, how did I, it's hard when you were the inciting incident but you weren't, you weren't. You weren't the incident. I mean, it kind of was. No. That was ready to tip. Yeah. It was ready to tip. It just needed that one little push. Yeah. And I also, going back a lot, the husband is mad at his wife because she said, oh that kid looks like you. Yeah. Actually was his kid and he was cheating. It's like, that's not her fault. That's that. I cheated. What the fuck are we doing here? There's a lot of, there's a lot of stuff going on that I think we need to dial it back. He already told you stop doing that. He said, you have a problem. You stop doing that. Okay. She, oh, I don't think she said this kid looks like you. I think she, she, she goes, oh like, he looks like you. She did say that. She looks like you. Yeah. Well, you just started off. You know, like when you fuck up and you're like, don't say this, don't say this, don't say this and you say it. I bet, I don't know. This is crazy. Also, we were really at the pool for so long. We needed to be at the pool because, we needed to be at the pool because we needed to know why she's making this joke. I was like, we're playing world domination. We didn't need to know about world domination. We didn't need to know about world domination. There was, there was a lot of, we didn't know. There was a lot of, we didn't know. All the toys and like, how many toys do you have? Honestly, I didn't need to know, God damn, think about yourself. There was a lot of superfluous exposition. We didn't need to. I was like, so he's sitting on the edge of the pool and the kids are in the pool and the wives are gonna take it. Why are you bringing toys? He's homeschooled. I don't care. So what? Get to the story. All right, we're gonna dial it back. It's 1992. I've been caught. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Comments. Verdict, not the asshole. Yeah. Comments. What a cluster fuck. You didn't throw her under the bus and you're not responsible for her marital problems. Emma should take responsibility for her own actions and fuckups. She also created drama at the engagement party and the couple should be furious at her. You, not the asshole. Someone said not the asshole. You knew nothing about Emma's issues with her husband's family. Emma should not have made a scene at the engagement party. She was at fault here. She was at fault there. You should have told the happy couple to take it up with Emma. Emma and the happy couple are assholes for looking to blame their issues on you. Update. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh my God. Wait, really? Well, did they go back to the pool? This guy loves its exposition, so I think we're about to get more. Oh my God. Go back to the pool. We had to abbreviate this for time and I'm looking at it and it's a hundred years of solitude. Oh, okay. Literature joke. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do you. Update. So after posting yesterday, reading replies and thinking it over, I decided to reach out to Emma one final time. Some of you thought I shouldn't end that these were, in fact, not my monkeys. Others made me realize that Emma was probably in a shitty situation with her husband and his family and was actively being gaslit. So last night, before going to bed, I texted her a long, thoughtful message. I explained that I do apologize for the part I played in ruining her marriage and I understand she is going through a tough time. I understand if she wants nothing more to do with me, but if and when she feels she wants to talk it out, she is welcome to reach out and I leave the ball in her court. Emma shows up at my house at around 7 a.m. unannounced. I ask what the fuck she says she really needs to talk to me. I call my wife to the door and explain this. She sends me off with this woman because she understands this shit can only go poorly and apparently she is here for it and it's my own fault at this point. So as I said, from my perspective, we were friends, we drifted apart. From her perspective. Is that men in love with him? Also, wait, it's a, it's a man. I don't know anything. Opie's a man. Okay. And we're at the pool. Yeah. Opie's a man. Okay. So as I said, from my perspective, we were friends, we drifted apart. From Emma's perspective, for the last 15 years, she has been playing some weird game of 4D chess or two different games of 4D chess. Or a game of world domination. Apparently, she had feelings for me back in college and she was trying to nice girl her way into a relationship with me. By being there for me when my dad died and when I was struggling with being single, she always gave everything because she just assumed I would at some point come around. You'd think that me getting married or her getting married would change that and it did just badly. Apparently, her husband knew about her feelings, which is why he always kept me at a distance. We never drifted apart. He explicitly asked her not to meet with me anymore outside of large social gatherings. That day at the pool, yeah, that was her sticking it to him because he was away cheating on her or something and he didn't like her hanging around me scantily clad. It wasn't just that he was upset at the joke. He was upset because apparently I was having an affair with his wife and rubbing it in his face. Oh! Makes no sense? I know. It gets worse. That thing at the wedding, well, at least she didn't plan that, I told our friends getting engaged that I wasn't coming. She asked and verified this. She wasn't expecting to see me and they told her I wouldn't be there, but once I showed up, she decided to exploit it. She intended to have a huge scene with me so that she could tell her estranged husband and friends that I ambushed her because she broke off our affair. For a fair, apparently we had an affair. Oh, what affair is that, you ask? I did too. Apparently, the story some people got was that she and I were having an affair and it ended and I was stalking her. Her husband left her because he found out, so people more inclined to believe her just thought that was what happened and wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So why did her husband actually leave? Well, some of you called it. According to her, he was cheating on her a bunch and overall not a nice person. She never actually cheated on him, but used me to pretend that she did without my knowledge. So after the joke at the gathering, which may have indeed been in poor taste, they had a huge fight and he left the house. As for the thing with his family, from what I gather, it was some dude sleeping with his cousin's wife or some shit. It's like, okay, so there's that story anyways. So anyway, she tells me all this insanity and tops it off with that, "My message really moved her and we can still be friends." The reason she rushed to show up at 7 a.m. My message made her realize I am actually the only one who really cares about her and everyone else in her life is fake and don't really care. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but now this sounds like some really manipulative shit to me and now I'm thinking back to a lot of our previous interactions and a lot of them also seem like that to me now. I am not a confrontational person, but this, fuck no. I was done. I tell her I am done with her shit. She can get back to her husband, leave her husband, keep any friends she wants because I am fucking done. I can forgive a lot, but she had basically been not communicating with me for over 15 years. I was telling her everything about my life and my feelings and I was absolutely appalled by just how much of a one way street it turned out to be. I feel like I didn't even really know her. So that's that. There will probably not be any more updates because this was meant to be a lighthearted post and it turned into a total clusterfuck and I'm just so tired and so sad. I'm sorry if this wasn't as readable or as coherent as my previous post. This just happened and I am just exhausted. My wife has been very supportive, though I assume at some point I'm due some well-earned I told you so's. She knows there wasn't an affair and certainly no stalking and most of my friends probably know that too. I may try reaching out to some others because, well, I don't know, maybe they were told even worse things about me, but I am just done with this and now I'm going to spend what's left of this weekend with my family and try to put this shit behind me. Thank you all for reading and for your advice. Wow. This is like an update for all updates. Yeah, that's pretty incredible. Oh my God, Emma has lost it. A ton of layers. Yeah. Wow. Emma needs to get. Thank God he said that. It unveiled a whole conspiracy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. If that never happened, yeah, he'd have never known that he was stalking her or that he was having an affair that he was like, hey, man, you're having an affair and you didn't know it. Wow. That was great. I'm like speechless. Yeah. I'm like, wow. Meanwhile, his wife is like, put it on Reddit. This is crazy. Put it on Reddit. This is crazy. Yeah. Put it on Reddit. Yeah. Put it on Reddit. I was like, this is wild. Oh my God. That's fun. That's crazy. I feel for him, but he's doing, he's doing everything he needs to do. He's just writing it out. Yeah. He's talking to his community. Put it out to the universe. Yeah. Make it real. Yeah. Doing some bits here and there. I feel really bad for that girl. I feel really bad for her. I want to feel bad for her. I feel bad for her being cheated on, but don't go telling all these lies and everything. No, yeah. I don't think all the conspiracy. And yeah, but I feel bad that she's just so not based in reality right now. Yeah. Yeah. It's like when people, I remember, yeah, just like when people so overthink things or add meaning to something and that nothing was there, that wasn't nothing happened. That was just shared eye contact and a shared joke or whatever. That doesn't mean you guys are in love. Oh. Anyways. Well, thank you both for being here. Thank you for having us. This was a very good group. Yeah. These are some good stories. This is a great group. Thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you want to see here and let us know your opinions on these stories because there's a lot to interpret here. Yeah. I'm going to be mulling these ones over. Yeah. This one's going to take me like a week. Yeah. No, a month or no. I'll be like, think about it. Look at the pool. It all happened. Oh my God. It's all making sense now. Let's just go back to the pool, please. Let's just go back to the pool. All right. We'll see you next weekend. Goodbye. Bye. - Bye.
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0:00 Intro
2:18 I faked an eye injury, ruining my bday party https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c2d4pg/aita_for_faking_a_serious_eye_injury_making_my/
7:50 We won’t throw her a bachelorettes if we’re not invited to the wedding https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1f86iij/wibta_if_i_tell_my_friend_her_bridesmaids_wont_be/
20:44 I left during my wife’s labor https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i7tiy9/aita_for_leaving_during_my_wifes_labor/
34:35 I didn’t get the same bridesmaid dress https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1g6d620/aita_for_not_getting_the_same_dress_as_the_other/
48:39 I refused to attend my mom’s renaissance themed party https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bbfsww/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_my_moms_renaissance/
56:11 My friend didn’t recognize my kid thus ruining her marriage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1g6pcee/aita_for_teasing_my_friend_about_not_recognizing/
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