a purpose is something that we all strive for, but you get really stressed when you're like, "I don't know what my purpose is. How am I supposed to find it?" But you're holding this idea of what purpose is, but I'm going to tell you what it's not and actually how to find it. Hey, hey everybody and welcome back to the Positivity Experience. It's your girl Lori. I'm so excited that you're here. We are almost into what we are in the holiday season, but we're almost to the holiday, we're almost to the new year. And I told you guys before, I am not that person who's like, "January 1, new year, new me." And I try to make sure that my clients don't do that either. So I want to share that love here. When we have this idea that we're supposed to know who we are and what we need to be and how we need to do it and all of these things that we want to do. And we're going to do it this year. You are going to create burnout, you're going to create stress. And another part of that new year is everybody wants to find their purpose. It is not many of the things that you think it is. And you're attaching this idea to it, which is where the struggle and that feeling of less than, because you're like, "Oh my God, I have no purpose." So I'm going to go through that today. And over on Patreon, I'm going to have a great, great worksheet that's going to help you really dissect that. And then once a month on the higher tier of the Patreon, we get a bonus episode and I'm going to double down even harder with the 30-day challenge over there. So if that's something that you want, you want to go a little bit deeper, then you can join me over at patreon at patreon.com/thepositivity experience, or you can find that link anywhere that you're getting the show right now in the description. So let's go into it. And I'm going to be honest. I think we focus on the idea of this wholeness by purpose. And as an overall community, we are service-based people. Issue comes is where you get attached to just that without the balance. And there's a whole host of reasons. But you know, we feel this, and I mean, I've been stuck in that trap before too. I need to have a purpose. Well, that's your first issue. There's no such thing as a purpose. There is a plethora of purposes, and it's going to come at different times of your life. So one of the biggest things that you're going to focus on, at least during this podcast, and hopefully thereafter, is continual, consistent flow. You have to have flow, and you're going to go in and out. It's also not this giant monumental thing. I'm going to save the world. I'm going to change the whole health perspective. I'm going to make sure that I'm doing my best for everybody. I love that for you. But this grandiose idea that purpose is supposed to have this big giant meaning is going to create the sense of overwhelm. Because think about this, you're sitting there, maybe you're listening to this now, and you're like, well, I think I'm following my purpose, or maybe you're not. Maybe you don't feel like you're following any purpose at all. You feel like you're just stuck getting up, going home, doing the same thing, getting up, making the doughnuts, and repeating that cycle. So now you're going to tell yourself, I need to have this giant purpose. Yeah, that's not overwhelming. Just the thought of that is overwhelming to me, and by the way, I've been there, and I can tell you not only is it overwhelming, it's demotivating. It's this idea of, man, how do I not have it? It's the idea that everybody else that you see is living in their purpose, and some are stuck in that one purpose. In turn, that's no longer a purpose. It's a stuck feeling. How many times have you, so ask yourself this right now? How many times have you said, I love this job? I'm going to go do this job. I'm going to love this job. And maybe you are. You're like, wow, this is, I've been making such a difference here. And then you start going, okay, well, I feel okay, I'm doing the same thing. I mean, I like it. I like that I'm providing some help, but you've kind of hit that ceiling. So it's time to pivot and shift. So not only do you think it's this grandiose sort of life shattering, life changing, historic way of living a life or purpose, you're also attaching that that purpose has to be forever. And that purpose is not going to be forever because you're attying that to an outcome. So if you're looking and you're saying, I need a fulfilling job or I need a fulfilling relationship, you're attaching your purpose to a professional environment. And that is not where purpose comes from purpose is meaning in what you do. And that does not mean on a big scale. Not only is this problematic for purpose, it's also problematic for yourself in general. I'm attaching my identity to this job. I am attaching who I am and what my worth is to this job. So not only are you attaching a purpose to it, you're attaching an identity to it. That's even worse. Because then without that job or without that relationship or without that dollar sign or that title or those followers, you now are like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do in my life now. Now you feel poorly about yourself. You feel as though there's no light at the end of the tunnel. And now you have even less of a purpose because your identity is stripped away. That's why you never ever want to seek for purpose or identity outside of yourself and stop attaching it to things that can be revoked. Right? If you attach your purpose and your value to a job, okay, let's just use a job. And I mean, you're like, yeah, this is great. Things are going along. They're cruising along, just buying. Yay. And then something happens. The job isn't there any longer. And now you're like, uh, what do I do? I'm floundering. No, I don't know what to do. And that's where the issue is because you've attached this idea of a purpose to being one thing. You cannot attach it to that outcome. It's not fair to you. And it's not fair to the people around you. So when you are attaching that to being permanent or unchanging, it's going to limit you because you're thinking, I have to know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I have to know my purpose right now for the rest of my natural born life. I don't care who you are and how balanced you feel. That is overwhelming to think you're supposed to pick one path and do that forever. And that's your purpose or one purpose or one person. This is a problem when people are searching for the one that does that's not real. There's no such thing as the one. So you're searching something and you're attaching this value and purpose to all of that. Purpose is going to evolve. And when it doesn't evolve, that's where the problem is. So what would that look like? You're going to be a teacher and you're a teacher and you go into the teaching field and you want to make a difference for these children and you are making a difference and you feel so good. And you are cruising along and you're like, yeah, this is good. I'm like 10 years into it, maybe less. And I kind of feel like I want more. I don't feel as committed or I'm here and it just doesn't feel as valuable to me. So what would that look like? Well, now you say, you know what? I'm going to volunteer and I'm going to help other teachers learn this new system. I'm going to volunteer. I'm going to help them evolve. So you're still doing your job. You're not not doing your job, but it's evolving. Your need and desire for yourself and to help others evolves. So part of the issue that you're having with purpose is I'm going to be a teacher. Well, first of all, thank you. I don't know how you do it. I have no desire nor patience to be a teacher. So the fact that you're a teacher is amazing. There will, however, come a time where you're like, okay, now what do I do? You don't necessarily have to leave the teaching profession. And that's where another issue comes when you lose that excitement. And that's going to be for anybody, I don't care what you do and how much you love it. That's why you want to evolve. Okay, if if you're listening to me, you know, I do short form, you know, I'm writing my second book, you know, there's a whole host of things I do under one umbrella, because I'm never going to just stop trying to fulfill myself on this journey of helping others, which means I have to be okay with not trying to navigate. This is the direction I have to go, because that's a very slippery slope. The moment you start doing that is the moment you go out of the open openness, the willingness to see opportunity without trying to control it. So this is big. So again, you're a teacher, and that's your big purpose. But then you feel like you hit that ceiling. So you look, you can still stay in that profession that you felt was your purpose and may be very well be your purpose and go in and out and weave it through. So what it is not is a static thing, which think about that. That's amazing. Imagine you're like, well, my purpose is to be a doctor. Well, what if you like, I don't, I tried to go to school for it to be a doctor, to go to doctor school, and it just wasn't for me. Well, a lot of people would be like, well, I don't know what my purpose is anymore, because you attached it to being purposeful as a doctor. And this is where you're going to go in. And when I start talking to you about what it is, you're going to be like, Oh damn, it's not easy. I mean, it is, but you got to be willing to disconnect from this idea of what purpose really is. And we're going to get to the what it is. And we're going to get to the science behind that because there's science behind us. It's not just thought it's not just feeling it's not just a trauma response. There is science to everything I'm telling you, not opinion. It is a factual base thing in science as most of the things that we discuss here is. So the need to be self-sacrificing, or we are meant to be self-sacrificing. So an idea of serving others is great, but it can lead to burn out. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you're doing. If you're constantly serving other people, it's going to lean to burn out. You have to balance within your own desires. This is where hobbies come into play or taking time to watch Netflix all weekend and just do nothing comes into play. That is not purposeless. That's still purposeful. There's no direction where your purpose is to just go, go, go, go, go all the time. That's going to burn you out. That's unsustainable. And now you feel like you're not living in your purpose, problematic. And again, so remember, it's not big. It's not over the top. You're allowed to be self-sacrificing. It is not just constantly and constantly trying to please and trying to do and trying to please. Those are the things that it's not. So what is it? What is purpose? What's a collection of experiences? Right? Think about this. Let's say you're, I don't know, 40. Let's say you're 40, 30, 20, even. And look 10 years prior. Just where you are right now, whatever age you are, think 10 years ago. Now we still might have some of our desires and likes because sometimes that's just what we carry with us. But are the same goals there? And even if they are, haven't they morphed a little bit because you would want them to, right? The same way I was, Paul and I were just talking about this, how, you know, we would like go out at night at 10, 11, 12 o'clock. Me and him were always together, obviously, 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night. That's how you started your night. That was the goal. That's how you did and you stayed up till three, four o'clock. Well, as you get older, you're like, wow, oh, maybe it's going to start at eight and end at one. And then you start like, wow, I really like day parties better because you evolve. Doesn't mean that you don't like parties. It just means that you evolved in how you see them. So if you look at something that you thought was your purpose right now, and maybe you loved it at that time, and maybe you were like, this is the direction. But look at how you evolve. We as human beings are going to evolve with, in turn, our desires are going to evolve. In turn, our purpose evolves. So that feeling of, I have to find a specific purpose for the rest of my life has to be shelved because that's why you feel overwhelmed. That's why you feel undefeated. That's why you're feeling those things. That's one of the biggest reasons you're struggling to find purpose. And it has to build all of these answers. Another thing that it is not is it's not a cure to make you happy. People seek purpose thinking that it's something that it is not. Purpose is not just going to automatically make you happy. It's automatically just going to fulfill you. It is not how that works. And when you attach that outcome to it, you're going to find it not only problematic, you're going to constantly try to chase it. So now you're forcing a purpose that really isn't a purpose in the first place. Why do you think people end up in jobs? Are they go to college for certain jobs? And then they come out of this school or the college or anything else, and they're like, okay, well, this sucks. I thought this was going to be different. Cool. You're allowed to. That's why we morph. So what you thought your original purpose is might be something totally different, and it might be something that you never thought it would be. I never thought I'd be sitting here talking to you. At no point did I think I'd be doing coaching, therapy, writing books, writing books. Are you kidding me? I barely even liked reading growing up, much less writing a book, or even taking the time to do this podcast. What? Speak to people about what? You can't play on that, but here I am. On top of this, I'm building courses. I'm building different structures that I can still bring benefit to, but allows me to not feel stagnant for myself. Because if you feel stagnant, that's the biggest thing. If you feel stagnant, remember, nothing changes unless it changes. So your purpose can have a hierarchy, but it must carry a shift. So think of relationships, hobbies, personal growth, and think of how that morphs. So you may start and say, I'm going to raise a family. This is your purpose. I'm going to get married. I'm going to create this great family. I love this. So that's your purpose. Now you're in this purpose. The kids are getting older. The kids are moving out. They're living their life. And now you're like, well, I feel lost and stuck because you attach this purpose to being a parent. You attach this purpose to having a family. There's nothing wrong with being a parent and having a family. It can't be your identity. When it is your identity, that becomes problematic with expectations and relationships. So you can see how this can morph. I did this. I put my life on hold and I was this person. And now these kids aren't even coming around. They barely even call me because they don't have to. And when you have a life and purposes outside of having a family and having that that idea, you allow yourself to be free willing. You're opening up. You can see it as a closing chapter that can still be glorious and start a whole new chapter with these people while not identifying to it. So when you attach a purpose to one thing, not only does it create problems for you, it creates problems and difficulties and everything else. Okay, you're going to pursue your creative passion. But don't try to control that. Maybe you go, well, I don't know what the hell it is. Try it. That's how you find purpose. Purpose is not always these big over the top things. And that's why you have to get very, very clear that it's got to be flow. Everything in life right now is flow. Nothing is static. The issue you have in general with control is you want it to be static. I got to control this, this, this, this, and this. Energy does not just stay stagnant. I don't care how much you want it to. Energy is going to stay in one way. It's not going to stay stagnant. It's also alignment with values. Go back to the core values podcast. And if you're on Patreon, go back to that worksheet. But in general, just go back to the core values podcast until you can really sit with that and start to really identify those values. Everything else that you listen to, it's good. And you're like, I want to do this and I want to change this and I want to make these moves. But you're still doing it without knowing what your core values are. So it's hard to live your life with purpose or alignment or relationships or desires and happiness. If you're trying to fulfill something that you don't even know what it is that you want. Most of our own suffering, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Most of our own suffering within our brain of who we're supposed to be and what we're supposed to do and how we're supposed to live our life comes from that. It comes from trying to make something happen to make you happy, but you don't even know what that would even look like from a alignment perspective. So that's why we keep chasing things. We keep going after the initial things. We keep going after immediate gratification. Super problematic across the board. And contribution and connection is a huge part of purpose. That's right. Purpose is found in the daily actions. Purpose is found every single day. Think of purpose as intention. Think of it as this. These are my intentions and I'm going to stay in the present space. So what contributions can you make in connection throughout the day? Being a good listener. That that is purposeful. Yep. Living a purposeful life is living with intention to align with your core values and be flexible to what is coming and where it goes. That is how you find purpose right there, right there. You're trying to make it this static thing and it's going to be this great. No. If you can't align with your values, you got to know those first. You're aligning with them and you're living that way daily. You will find purpose. Okay. This is something that you have got to start allowing yourself to accept. It's also a process and they're going to go in and out. Think about being a good listener. The amount of people that are not good listeners is crazy. You're going to find that mostly in this world. People aren't listening to be an active listener. They're listening to fill it. They're listening to fix it. They're listening to something that they need to, you know, rebute, rebute, rebuff. It's one of those things. Think about somebody having a conversation with you and they say something or they misunderstand you or whatever the case may be. The moment they say that thing that you don't agree with, you have stopped listening. You're just like, uh-huh. You're either, if you're not interrupting, you're like, go ahead. Come on. Give me the pause. Give me the pause and you're coming back in. Being an active listener is a contribution to people. When you are contributing, you are purposefully living in your life. You are creating purpose. So the whole act of purpose is to find ways of living your life intentionally. Opportunities are going to come and go. You're going to have things that you're going to desire more. You're going to go down that route. You're going to do it intentionally while still relaxing, while still not focusing hardcore on the things that you have to be over the top with. That's how you find purpose. It's not as difficult as you think it is. It's the idea of this fulfillment that you think you're supposed to find and it's supposed to be saving the world and calm down. That is not it at all. That's based and rooted in insecurity is what it is because you're trying to attach your value to these big things, these big changes. You don't realize the small things that affect people. True story. There have been people who have been on the way to get coffee. Let's say Duncan, Starbucks, whoever the case may be, and that's going to be the day that they are no longer going to be on this planet. They are tired of it. They feel lost. They feel helpless and that's it. There's just one last era and they go to go in and somebody holds the door open for them and they smile. You know, you kind of like, "Yeah, you haven't already smiled." That has changed their entire prospective life, their perspective of life because they're like, "Oh my gosh, somebody was nice to me. It was a smile. It was warm. It's what I needed." Something is simple. You don't think that's purpose? You don't think that's purpose? To share something, just kindness, just a warm smile? You don't realize how purposeful that is. Don't you think that's purposeful? That that was just one thing to let the person know, "I want to get help. I want to feel better. I want to be the best version of myself." By that one smile, you don't think that's purpose? That's one hell of a big amount of purpose. That person didn't even know it. That person is walking around, just smiling, just sharing some intention and made a massive life change. So when you think you're making these big choices and decisions, just exist is purpose in itself and living within that. There's science to this. Science to this. It goes back to dopamine. You know every time I mention dopamine, I swear I won't mention that every damn podcast because again, there's only so many tools that I can give you or anybody else can give you. We're always going to hit it at different angles because some things are going to be aha moments for you. When you're thinking of the dopamine and we've had this and we've exhausted this, but it's always important to bring it back up, dopamine is your feel-good transmitter. That's why you do excessive scrolling. That's why you're impulsively when you're buying things. That's why you get comfort in food. You're looking for the instant gratification. Now, there is a dopamine detox that has to happen. We get dopamine depleted and we start attaching this idea that we constantly need more dopamine. That's exhausting. Your brain and your body is so deteriorated from an over-indulgent of dopamine, you're always having to seek it. Always has to be higher. It always has to be bigger. It always has to be next level. Remember, as I said before, dopamine is good, but it is not sustainable. You're not going to stay up here. I forgot. I do post this on YouTube. I was like, you can't see what I'm doing. I'm raising my hand high. You cannot stay up here and not think that it's going to balance out. That's just how life works. It's like the stock market. Stock market doesn't keep going up even if it's had a crazy day. It's adjusting. That's how life works. That's how your dopamine works. When you begin to find this sense of purpose, you're getting that excitement on a way lower scale. You are going to find purpose in decluttering your home. I love that for you, but you're trying to do it too fast. Remember this big thing. You never declutter and organize at the same time. As we're going more into this month, I think I might go even a little bit deeper in your productivity and things you want to do around the house just so you can set yourself, but you never ever, ever declutter and organize at the same time. There's a reason for that. You're trying to rush the process and in finding purpose, when we start seeking it and we start getting excited, we watch the Marie Kondo, we watch home at it and we're excited. We are ready. We are inspired. We are going to do this. The dopamine is there. This is going to be our purpose, but you didn't take into account that you got to start with the little things first. Why are you holding this clutter in the first place? See, that's what I'm saying. Those are the things that build purpose. To build purpose, you got to know what your resistance is to thinking that it can't be a slower process, that it can't be a fluid. And it is fluid. Your consistent evolving acts will absolutely help you find purpose. There is this thing that I try to go by. Learn something new. Okay, yeah, in theory, you could learn something new every day. If you've decided to take a foreign language, you can learn a different worded a day, a different word, a different sentence a day. That's great. You can decide to get a different book. You can do things. Sometimes you're not always going to do something new every single day, but you do want to try to learn something is pretty frequent as you can, but with consistency. When COVID first happened, I jumped head first into crochet because like you couldn't really leave the house. I love it. This is four years later. I'm making different things. I'm making more intense type stitching. Love that. I also took a pickleball. I'm not super consistent with it. It's kind of more seasonal for me. I didn't know how to do that. I took that up. I'm considering taking up acoustic guitar next because I like to constantly keep going. Purpose isn't always being productive in making this giant difference. It's also trying new things. You can find purpose in balance. You find purpose in peace and being here today. Try something new. Go somewhere different. Lean into that. People resist resting and trying new things because they think, "Wow, this isn't really helping. This is a waste of time." No. No, it is not. If you're not balanced, you're going to keep thinking things are purpose that aren't. You have to learn something new. You have to slow down. You have to allow your desires and likes to evolve. You don't go into doing acoustic guitar because now in your mind, not only are you going to do acoustic guitar, you're going to go and you're going to perform at different clubs. What are you doing? Why can't you just take something and let it be? Everything isn't about making money. You're having visibility. You're making these big changes. That's why you're struggling with trying to find purpose. You really are. You're trying to find purpose in things that aren't purposeful. Not everything has to be opportunity driven. It can just be yourself. You find purpose in balance. You find purpose in not needing to make money off of it. You find purpose in being intentional in your life. The big things will come but don't seek them. You'll never find purpose seeking it. You have to adjust. You have to embrace and you have to be willing to try new things in the blue zones. I don't know if you've seen that in, I believe it's on Netflix. I would encourage you to watch the blue zones. I think it's like a blue zone diet, but there's this whole thing on blue zones. Actually, my home country, I was born here, but I'm also Croatian. In Croatia, that's also in the blue zones. The areas in the blue zones not only are proven longevity. This is why it's a whole show because it's like people live longer. They live happier. When you have purpose, you have a longer life. That's a very blanket. Let me not say that. Having purpose is linked to additional longevity within life. When you have a purpose. But here's the thing. You know what? They have a balanced life. Their purpose is to also live with balance. Your life can be your purpose. Creating, breaking a cycle in your life that has been in the family is purpose and then letting that flow where it is. But if you watch that show, you'll see they sit, they eat, they eat, drink, be merry, they go out, they farm, they go bike riding, they're doing all of these things. It's not like they have money coming out the ass that they can just take time off. They make themselves take time off. They give themselves that balance because they're living with purpose. I will be of service to others while putting myself as a priority. That is purpose. I can be of service to others, not people pleasing to very different things. Service to others doesn't mean bend over backwards. Service to others means smile. Be encouraging. Give somebody a lending ear where you're actively listening. That's what I mean. Not pleasing them when we're not playing that game. I can be there with intention and purpose for other people and serve value to them. And most importantly, putting myself as a priority. You got to stop trying to fill every 24 hours in the day. Stop thinking that you can't sit down and watch a show. Stop thinking you can't sit down on the couch. Get under a covers order takeout, maybe a bottle of wine. Leave the dishes sit overnight. You will be okay. You will be okay. Everything does not have to have productivity. You will never find purpose in that. You will find burnout. Oh, I promise you, you'll find burnout. So if your goal is that purpose is burnout, then yeah, keep going the way you are. And you got to ask yourself why? Why am I seeking this need to feel whole? Then you're chasing validation. You're chasing this idea that success is just a straight up and down thing. It is not. That's like with my clients. I give them tools. If you never use the tools, the tools are useless. So you know, they might go through something and think, Oh my God, I knew better. Why didn't I use this tool? Well, because it's new. And shit is always good. When things are going well, it matters when they're not going well. How do you show up for yourself? That's purpose. Self discipline comes from purpose. And you won't have purpose unless you know what it is that you and when I say you, these are your core values. This isn't your parents core values. This isn't your spouse and kids core values. This is about that. And that's why you must go back to the other podcast. Listen to it on repeat. Sit with the questions. It's not going to be overnight. Emi, it's just not. How else can you find purpose? Explore your interests. That's right. Have you ever thought about going to do your yoga instruction? Are you going to become a yoga instructor? Even if you never use it, just something you always wanted to do. You're going to take up piano. You're going to take voice lessons. You're going to start incorporating more nature walks. Are you going to pull out a book and learn birding and then go bird watching? Yeah, that is still purpose. You will find out so much more about yourself. When you start to really dig into your likes and dislikes, everything else falls into place. But you're looking at it as though it's a waste of time. If that's a waste of time, you will stay stuck. Let me guarantee you and I'll guarantee you many things. You will stay stuck. You will stay in toxic relationships. You will stay chasing things. You will chase validation. You will change so much. I mean, you won't change so much in your life. That's just how it's going to be. So think of some things that you may want to try and then take your perfectionism out for five seconds because you are not just going to grab a pickleball racket and be great. You're not just going to grab a crochet hook and kill it. You're not just going to go start, you know, ice skating and now you're in the Olympics. You have to remember a part of purpose is being vulnerable, allowing yourself to not have all of the answers, to take it as it comes, to have flow, to have those good days, to have those crazy days. If you ever watch, I'm a football fan, you guys know that. If you ever watch a football game, this could be somebody who's like, award award winning, good God, like MVP quarterbacking. I just watched the Chiefs game against the Bears the other night. And like, they're like, per, I mean, not per, well, they did have a perfect record. Like nine and oh, something crazy like that. Well, my home's into all that. Those are a lot of things he can do fabulous. But remember, he's like one of the best in the league. I share that with you because you are not supposed to be perfect at something. And if you're seeking perfection, you will never find a purpose that sticks with you or purposes that sticks with you. You got to be empathetic and kind to yourself. You've got to stay in the present moment. If you don't have meaningful pursuits and accept that anything you do is going to have trial and error, anything in this lifetime is going to have trial and error. I don't care how much time you spend with it. I don't care how much effort you put into it. You're going to have trial. You're going to have error. Some things work. Some things don't. And sometimes the things that worked and served you in one place will not do it going forward. And that's where people get real stressed out because you're like, my God, I thought that this is how my life is going to be. I thought this is my purpose. Yes, because you put all your eggs on one basket. Don't put those eggs on one basket. Be okay with where you are right now. But don't do it to fill a void. You will never find it if you're seeking it to fill a void. It is a process. It is a journey. You have to look at it as creating an unchartered purpose. I mean, that's just how it is. Until you see it that way, you're always going to feel less than you're always going to feel behind. You're always going to feel lost. And there's this big fear. This is where science comes into play. Oh, all of this has been science, by the way, the dopamine, all of the things that come along with it. When you are in fear of not having purpose, it does this thing in your brain. It does. It's based in neuroscience, right? You go into this. Oh, my God, you go into fight or flight, you go into doing those things out of impulse because you're desperate. Your brain works that way. Neuroscience has proven that. So when you, your brain in general, you as a human, well, I mean, all humans like to kind of know, hey, what to expect and where it goes. And that's going to also keep you very limited. So when things don't go as planned, but your plan was out of desperation, it wasn't out of alignment. That's where the issue comes. I'm creating purpose on a desperation versus purpose out of alignment. And until you do that, you will always have those receptors in your brain that goes, Holy shit, we're in trouble here. Hurry up and fix it. Hurry up and find something out. And then you settle on something. You'll find jobs that you take, not because you're like, Oh, I desired it. And you're like, now my thing, you're trying to lie to yourself to say, I'm supposed to like this. Everybody in my family or teachers, I guess I have to be a teacher. That's my purpose. No, it isn't. Maybe you want to start your own construction company. Maybe you want to start your own landscape company. That's fine. Because when you're seeking it, there is the sense of wasted potential. Wasted potential is tied to your self worth. So if you're not reaching some imaginary potential, then somehow or another, you're less than that's your desire for immediate happiness. And that will always create the sense of desperation. When you have desperation, you're not really seeking purpose, you're seeking fulfillment to know the answers. And 99.9% of the time, you will still feel unfulfilled. You could change the world. But because you were doing that, you thought you'd feel so good. And suddenly you're like, that's great. I'm really proud of myself. I changed the world. That's amazing. Okay. Well, now I mean, it's great. But now I still feel like lost because you're looking for that. Stop looking for it. Stop chasing it. So I want you to going into it, we'll go into this over on Patreon when we go through our worksheet. But I want you to ask yourself right now, am I trying to be perfect? Am I trying to find the sense of belonging? And am I doing it and burning myself out? Because I think I'm supposed to try this and I think I'm going to, well, try stuff. Yes. But I think I got to do this because that's going to give me purpose. I'm going to become an IT person because that's going to give me a purpose. No, that's not how it works. So the next time that you sit in question with yourself, and you say, I only have one purpose, you're going to have to ship that mindset and say, I can have multiple purposes. Because that is the facts. That is a scientific life fact. Because you do not stay the same. Even if you think you do, you do not and you should not, you want to always be growing. You have to explore your interests. If you're drawn to writing and teaching, combine them, teach writing. I mean, there are things. If you enjoy it, can it parlay into a profession? Yes, you should not go into it with that though. So I want you to reframe the idea of purpose into intention. Reframe purpose into flow. I'm allowed to have flow. I'm going to try things. I'm going to embrace where I am right now. This is what my purpose is today, but that can change. I'm going to stay open to it. It's okay that it isn't over the top. And if you feel it needs to be, you have to ask yourself, what are you trying to fill within yourself? Don't rush at it. Are you identifying yourself by some purpose that you think you're supposed to have? Are you attaching an expectation that that's supposed to make you feel fulfilled and you don't feel? Then that's how you know you're not living with that. You're looking to just make the stress go away. So I want you to ask yourself right now, am I willing to go into the discomfort of not needing to know and try new things and be intentional and sit on the couch for a day and not do anything and be okay with it. That doesn't mean that you're wasting yourself. That means that you're open up space so you can find your multiple purposes. (upbeat music)
