November 25th, 2024 - MONDAY NIGHT SHOW!
The Joe Antonio Show
November 25th, 2024
Hey now, this is Joe Antonio on the Joe Antonio show Welcome to the Joe Antonio show Our content is not intended as legal medical or financial advice. We are not attorneys nor do we play them on TV Void work prohibited batteries not included. 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Look at that. It's Monday on the Joe and Tony on the show. Nice. Good. Hey now. (audience applauding) November 25th. Look, am I like fucking screwed up in the header? Wasn't Thanksgiving usually like November 25th? Is it really late this year? - Yeah, it feels like it's late to me. That is for sure, a feeling. Now I think it's-- - I was gonna say, I usually, like the 23rd, the 24th. - Yeah, that's what it always felt fit field, felt like to me. And we were talking about this the other day and I guess maybe we're in a different space time continuum. It's, oh, well, BP's got it. It's always the last Thursday in November. So that's, for some reason I always thought it was the 3rd November or 3rd Thursday in November. - Well, I thought. - Yeah. - The calendar's a little bit screwed up this year. Well, you know what it is? And I think, I don't know, Christmas is a little weird this year too, it's how it's spaced out. It's like kind of far into the end of the month. So it's kind of feels like it's so close to where it, and I don't know. - Well, I mean, Joe, Christmas always lands on the 25th. So. - Yeah, but can we just keep the fucking God damn holidays? Like, you know, on the same days, like I wish, like I wish Thanksgiving and I wish, and it was, well, obviously Thanksgiving is always Thursday, but I wish Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were just, always on like a Friday and a Saturday. - So we don't have to go back to word right then. - And then, may I know, we just got done talking about our Lord and Savior's birthday. And you're just like, God damn it. I just throw that out there. - Sorry, God. Please forgive me for that one. I mean, I don't know. It's like screwed up, like around your schedule and shit. - Yeah, it is. - It happens, what is it being like, once every four years, the shit lands in the middle of the week, always, early, like. - It's terrible. - It's terrible. - It's terrible. - It's playing on the same fucking day. Friday, Saturday, Friday should be Christmas Eve, Saturday should be Christmas Day, and then I can have the day after Christmas Day. Okay, so I can recoup. That's what I want. I've got, I want to be put in charge of these guys. - That's right, man. I'm going to get rid of this daylight savings bullshit. All right, we're going to be on the same schedule for everything. - That should be Trump's first fucking order. I don't care. Just finally take a, it's been on the table the longest. Fucking in wars. - I think we should take care of that. (laughing) - And daylight savings time. - Don't worry about, don't worry about the wars. - Listen, we're going to get rid of the daylight savings time. Okay, we're going to exit no more daylight savings time. Okay, it's going to be dark every single day at seven o'clock. Okay, not 4.30. - I hate waking up in the morning. You're fucking dark out. I'm going to go home, it's dark out again. It's like barely even see daylight during the day. - Well, I mean, that's one good side about my job is it's basically outside. So yeah, I get to see the sun when it's out, but you know what, when it's fucking miserable? It sucks because I'm out at it. And I mean, I can pay the hefty wage to do the things I do. - And so that's the give and take, you know. When it's a negative 20, those animals still need fed. - So. - I'm trapped in a desk dealing with animals. When they're people though, they're not actual animals. (laughing) Pretty sad. Fucking people, dude. Oh my God. - Oh baby, calm down, baby. - You said my life is always in the dark. (laughing) - Come on, buddy, cheer up. - I love you. I love you, BP. Yeah, guys, welcome to the show, it's a Monday. Thanksgiving week, and a good thing that I got going for me is I don't have to work two more days this week and we just get to relax for a little while. Speaking of Trump, actually, hey, listen, he's got a little Thanksgiving message for everybody. BP and Boogie, take a listen. - Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate. A lot of people are saying that Sleepy Joe Biden is gonna pardon the turkey like a dog, like a dog. Many are saying that Biden and his crime family like Hunter shouldn't get the pardon. Your favorite president is returning to office something we can all be grateful for. Oh, it's gonna be so great. Oh, it's gonna be so big and so great. But a lot of people are saying it's the year of the pardon. Enjoy your turkey, enjoy your family because it's gonna be special. Four years were appointing greatness. It's gonna be great. Happy turkey day, chop, chop. - I was gonna say, man, I hope next Thanksgiving, Trump comes out and does not pardon the turkeys just to show how much of a badass he is, and ruthless leader, and chops their heads off himself. - What is this whole pardon fucking turkey thing? I just saw this today, I guess. Biden was on the news this morning and he was like partying, he was partying? - Yeah, they don't cook him for Thanksgiving dinner at the White House, so it's the birds chosen for the White House dinner. And then, presidents either choose or not choose to pardon the turkey from being eaten. - Fucking stupid, it's fucking Thanksgiving. It's one day a year, you can't eat a turkey? - No, it's supposed to be, I don't know. It's, Joe, I don't know. I don't know, tons of fucking presidents have pardoned the turkey, I think Obama did it. I think they've all pardoned the turkey. I couldn't tell you. - Listen, I remember one year I was dating my ex-girlfriend, okay, this was probably like 15 years ago, and I remember I, she was having Thanksgiving in her house and my, and her, she's like, oh, she goes, by the way, we're not having turkey this year for Thanksgiving, you go, what the fuck are we? And she goes, well, my mom got a spiral ham. I go, what a spiral ham, it's fucking Thanksgiving. She's like, well, you know, she wants to do something different this year, so she bought a spiral ham. I go, listen, I'm calling my parents. I'm going over my parents. (laughing) You can figure, what do you mean? You're not gonna come over? - No, not if you're not having fucking turkey. I want fucking turkey, I want yams, I want mashed potatoes, I want additional Thanksgiving dinner. It's not me being a dick, it's just, that's what I grew up with, I don't know, damn. Well, it's not Easter Sunday, it's fucking Thanksgiving. Fuckin' you, damn. - Yeah, but I mean, if you think about it, the original Thanksgiving between the natives and whoever, the pioneers, it, odds are it was wild turkey, and then, you know, venison, and I'm sure-- - Sure, that sounds like a great Thanksgiving. I want to go live with those guys. I'm gonna go hang out with them, bury 'em all up from the dead and bring 'em all alive. Hey, make some of that deer meat. - Sorry, we get wild boar. - We got a little history for you. This event began during the Civil War when Tad Lincoln asked his father to spare a turkey, named Jack from the Holiday Meal. President Abraham Lincoln obliged his son and pardoned the fortunate turkey, years later, in 1947, President Harry Truman pardoned the first national Thanksgiving turkey. - So, living in the White House is bad enough, you can't even eat turkey on fucking Thanksgiving day. - Oh, they didn't say they weren't eating turkey, they just weren't eating that one. (laughing) - Oh my God, you know what's so funny is I got the clip here. Listen to Biden today, pardoning the turkey. You can't even talk, it sounds like me just now. Listen to this shit. - This White House tradition began when Turkey was presented for President Truman and that President and then President George H.W. Bush began pardoning turkeys. - In the last four years I have the honor to continue that tradition. - Yeah, I don't know. - In our partners. - When they go from Truman to Bush. (laughing) - I don't even know what he's talking about, I believe BP more than I believe this dickhead. - Chocolate chip, Liberty and Bell, and today, Peach M. Blossom, will join the free birds of the United States of America. (audience applauding) - Oh my God. - Based on your temperament and commitment to being a productive member of society, I hereby pardon Peach M. Blossom. (audience cheering) - Yeah, why don't you pardon yourself out the door and fucking January 20th. - I was gonna, I was waiting for him to fucking say, I hereby pardon my son, oh. - Wait, I'm a part of my, myself. No, no, I mean, pardon the people. - Pardon me, I just hit my pants again. I gotta go, folks. (laughing) (audience applauding) (laughing) - Fucking retard. Oh my God, please get him out here. Why do we have to wait 'til January 20th? 'Cause we just throw him out now, please. Get this thing rolling. Christ, we don't got enough time. - Come on, he's gotta finish all that important shit. He started, right? - Yo, yeah. - Yeah. - That, that, right there. (laughing) - People can clean his diaper while the time he's fucking walking out of there. I ain't just, I wish that like when somebody got inaugurated, they could just put them right in the fucking, and just kick the person out. Like, all right, that's the time to go pack your fucking bags. And I've gotta wait at home. We gotta, we gotta wait basically two months. You know, at least he's got his whole cabinet. - Yeah. - Shit, that's a good sign. - That's a, yeah, he wasted zero time. So, yeah. - Speaking of Thanksgiving, guys, obviously, you know, this week is gonna be a hectic travel schedule. I was kind of noticing it this morning with a lot of people, you know. A lot of people are off from work and shit and people driving around. So, yeah, I mean, I guess this year now, and they say this every year, but this is actually supposed to be one of the biggest Thanksgiving travel days now. I think they said within the last 50 years, 'cause now people are finally out of that whole COVID thing. Nobody's scared to go over people's houses anymore. And, you know, COVID's just like a cough now. And so, I'll take a listen. - Happy Thanksgiving, too. - Oh, that's not it. (laughing) - Thanksgiving travel rush. It's already begun. It's expected to be the busiest Thanksgiving holiday ever. Transportation course went on to you, but it is tracking it off from the Gordy airport. Good morning, Geo. - Hey, George, good morning. Yeah, we are gearing up for a very busy travel week here. In fact, tomorrow is expected to be the busiest travel day with more than 50,000 flights taking off in this country. The rush is on for millions of American families. - And we're going to Arizona for Thanksgiving, so I figured I'd bring you guys along. - This morning, the great holiday migration underway. - Work has been a lot. It's been very stressful, and I wanted to make sure that I, like, prioritize spending quality time with my family. So I took the entire week off. - In what's expected to be the busiest travel season to date, AAA anticipating nearly 80 million Americans will travel more than 50 miles ahead of Thursday. - This is when a lot of folks are turning to us, asking for the numbers and what to expect this holiday, and it's historically the busiest travel period of the year in terms of passenger volume. - And the holiday travel window is expanding, many starting early. - Traveling later, it only is more hectic. It's a lot more hectic. - The TSA expecting to screen more than 18 million people through next Monday. United Airlines adding a reported 400 extra flights per day as American and Delta all brace for the influx. Tomorrow is projected to be one of the most congested for airports nationwide. - We will use traffic flow management initiatives to deal with any staffing shortages on that particular day in this airspace, and we expect to have some of those shortages. - All right, and we also have a live look at the roads right now from our helicopter with our ABC station, WABC, here in New York, where you can see all of those busy roads. But we should also tell you here that overnight, Charlotte Airport workers actually went on strike just days before Thanksgiving, so they're calling it strikes giving. Charlotte is one of the major hubs for American Airlines, so this could potentially affect that airline. - Strike's giving. Why do they gotta come up with some dopey fucking name for all this shit? You ever notice that? - Federated media, man. Federated media. - They don't trust your real, they all ha ha ha ha. Strike's giving. - It's a dumb. - It's a dumb. - It's good. We gotta come up with some dumb fucking tagline. Hey, Boogie, let's go to the helicopter and report the traffic here. - W-A-N-B-C. - He's a W-A-M-E-Slee, the traffic author, and we're seeing all the workers are outside on strike ride. Now on strike's giving. (laughs) It's a fucking dopey. Jesus Christ. It's a strike gate here. The one gate that's open here, a Charlotte now international airport. Oh my God. Dude, I'm so happy I don't fucking travel for Thanksgiving. I'm so happy that my parents and like all my immediate family are close by, so I would not wanna travel on fucking Thanksgiving. I hate traveling as it is, even going on airplanes. I'd rather just get my car and drive. Just being on an airplane on Thanksgiving, which is making me... Honestly, I think of the movie "Plains, Trains, and Automobiles," with John Candy, and Steve Martin. Oh my God, dude. And we talk about this every year, and it's never irrelevant to talk about irrelevant. It's not a real word. But it's, if you're traveling on Thanksgiving holidays, anytime within the next month, 75% of you plan on it getting all fucked up, because that's just the way it is. And I don't wanna hear about you bitching, and I'm gonna hear 'em all bitching and moaning on Monday on how they're late getting back to work. And guess what, assholes? It happens every year. And odds are, it's happened to the same people multiple, multiple times. Right, it doesn't change from year to year. I mean, it gets more packed, the airports are more packed, the roadways are more packed, so guess what? You put yourself in that predicament. Don't bitch and moan when you're late for work on Monday. Oh, I can't make it in because I had a red eye flight and didn't get until five in the morning. Well, that's your fucking problem. Yeah, Karen, this has happened the past five years in a row. Haven't we learned our lesson yet? You're fired. You're the dickhead that fucking goes out on Christmas and Thanksgiving and traveling here and I'm going here. I'm going to see out in Sally, out in Texas and this, and listen, it's your fault, okay? I don't wanna hear anybody bitching and moaning. If you wanna fucking stay around and maybe cook your own dinner and stay home, do that, like I said, I'm going to see my parents on Thanksgiving. I'm actually going to stay over their house. They bought their new condo. I told my family, listen, you got a bed over there, right? They're like, yeah, why don't you just stay over? I got the next day off, I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to stay over there. I ain't fucking driving home on Thanksgiving night. I can screw that. Oh, half wasted, fuck that. And furthermore, you know what? That's not on the couch. You know what's not going to be late on Thanksgiving? And Greyhound buses. Greyhound buses, they won't travel just fine. You know why? Because the people, it's going to be just fine for all those meth heads and poor people. Because they do it all the time. They know exactly how it works. And guess what? They're going to be on time for their can't ham and can't turkey. Nobody else will be. Follow the meth heads. Yeah, you know what I mean? Those, yeah, those guys know how to travel. You know, you want to go fucking travel with somebody. Those are the people to go and follow. Go and follow the meth heads. I mean, these guys, they know how to get it. Listen, sometimes they'll strap themselves right to the back bumper of the bus. They'll go all the way across the fucking city. They may not smell that great and you might get stabbed. But guess what? You're not going to be late. True. [LAUGHTER] True. Oh my god. And I saw this today, too. Obviously, Black Friday is another holiday that I always stay inside for. Because I don't want to be dealing with these mutton heads over at the retail stores. I've learned to shop on Amazon, which I love Amazon. I don't know what we did before Amazon. Because at this point now, I mean, why would I go out to a store when I could just order something and it's on my doorstep the next morning? It's the easiest thing in the world. Yeah, I can say that in the past few months, I've been doing a lot more than normal Amazon shop. I mean, even down to my socks and underwear. It's like, fuck it. I'm here. You know, the last thing I bought off fucking Amazon? I could get into the fucking gas station, but I didn't want to. Fucking Zippo fluid. I was like, yeah, fuck it. Oh, really? Two cans for $13 versus $10.99 a piece. My local smoke shop or something like that. Yeah, so why would I not? And it's delivered the next day. Yeah, I mean, listen, you don't get it instantly, but you wait a day. Who gets a fuck? You know, it's easy. Fuck simple. You don't have to fucking stand in line with these fucking people. And you know what it is, too, is like, you know, I swear to God, 75% of my Christmas shopping I'm going to be doing on Amazon. I have like, you know, it's nice with Amazon. You can make like this list and you can kind of just designate different lists. You know, like, all right, my brother's here. Amanda's there, my parents are here. Okay, this goes in the Amanda list. This goes in my parents list, my brother's list. It's so easy, you plug and play. All right, this is what I want to buy them. And then all of a sudden, when you want to buy it, you just hit, okay, at the car, at the car, at the car, ship it. Okay, one day shipping, it's on my doorstep the next day. I can even gift wrap the fucking night. I don't like wrapping gifts, boogie. I don't like... No, don't do that ship for you. Don't even put a little card in there. This says from Joanne to the end. All right, well, I can tell you, Jo. Oh, wow, this is a great present. Who wrapped it? Oh, I did. Yeah, 100%. I printed this all off of my computer. I swear. (laughs) Well, I can tell you, Jo, I'm going to be doing all my holiday shopping for friends and family at thejoantonioshow.com. There you go. Instead of giving them some of the merch and some of those nice coffee cups, ashtrays. There you go, yeah, guys. Make sure to go to thejoantonioshow.com. What I'm going to do actually next month is I am going to put kind of like a, I'm going to do like a 30% discount on everything that's inside the store. So if you guys are going to be looking to do some shopping and stuff, we'll put a 30% discount on everything in the store. I'm going to, I'll announce what dates we're going to do. We're going to do it through Christmas Eve. I'll announce when that comes up and kind of give some people some incentives to buy some stuff. To be honest folks, it's a going out of business sale. Give us your money. We need your help. Come on, man. - Yeah, please. - Yeah. - I saw this today. What early Black Friday goods should you be going for on the early Black Friday deals? - You can avoid the insane Black Friday stampede by going shopping now. Black Friday deals are already here. Kindle reading devices, earbuds, headphones, mattress, bedding and sleep items, home and bath items. Also, great deals on vacuums. At Best Buy in Los Angeles, the signs say it best. Black Friday deals right now. A popular item this holiday season are extra large TV monitors. And here at Best Buy, as with many stores, you no longer have to wait until Black Friday. - Are those popular every year? - Great Black Friday deals. - I think so, yeah. I mean, you hear about these all every fucking year. - That's true. - I saw you looking at your phone. Are you looking for a Black Friday deal? - Yes, I am. My son called me. He wanted me to get this special computer. He's been waiting for all year. And he said, I have to hurry today because it's on sale. - What do you have here? - I just got a laptop. - What was it normally and what did it run you? - I think it was like $500. It came out to $299. - A Black Friday special at Walmart kicks off this coming Monday. - We'll be offering deals in store and online that entire week. Walmart says it fully intends to win the shopping season with incredible steals. - This Samsung 55-inch is 298 this holiday season. - It's originally $348, a $50 savings. This current coffee machine is just 49 bucks. It's originally $59, a $10 savings. Walmart also wants to entice you with speedy delivery. - We can get it to you as fast as 30 minutes with express delivery and we even-- - Yeah, they also want to entice you with everybody walking in there and they're fucking pajamas and crocs on too. - Right. - Fucking around the store. (laughing) - When did you just crawl out of bed and go to the store? - That's exactly, yeah, you can smell it in the air as soon as you hit the fucking parking lot. Yeah, ain't none of them fucking shot. (laughing) And I want to say, man, those are not good deals. Those are not, you remember back of the day when that same shit, a deal was this $499 TV. We're giving it to you for $99. And that's what caused the riots. That was the fun of black Friday shopping. - Yeah, I used to love watching people beatin' the shit out of each other to go, you know, like, it's almost like, remember that movie jingle all the way, and the Turbo Man doll came out, yeah. I got to get the Turbo Man doll for my son. Sinbad's like, yeah, I gotta get that Turbo Man, yeah, get the fuck out of the way. (laughing) Yeah, I like seeing people beatin' the shit out of each other at fucking black Friday. See, I would go for the entertainment. I wouldn't go for the deals. I would just go to watch people act like assholes and beat each other up. - Eating the free popcorn and the free fuckin' cocoa stand the fuck back. - Stealing the soft pretzels out of the machine in the front? - Yeah. (laughing) - Well, everybody's goin' haywire, yeah, that's right. - Just sit there and fuckin' relax, something else. - Extra mustard, bitches. (laughing) - Oh my God, well, listen, Thanksgiving is upon us, and hopefully, you know, this week goes by quick. Today went by pretty fast, so we'll see what happens. But, alright guys, listen, let's get into some music really quick. Got a lot of show to get into, I got a lot of stuff to get to. Yeah, got a lot of stuff to get into that. We didn't talk about last week, you know? So, we'll get into that. - Whoa, whoa! - Whoop, whoop is right, alright. So, let's get into it, alright. (upbeat music) Ooh, little sayin' Tana here. Sean Matonio show. Alright, we'll be right back, guys. Stay tuned. (upbeat music) ♪ You said I feel stranded ♪ ♪ And I can't tell anymore ♪ ♪ Coming all around going well ♪ ♪ It's not how I planned it ♪ ♪ I got a key to the door ♪ ♪ But I just won't know, babe ♪ ♪ No, no, no, no ♪ ♪ Part of me says let it go ♪ ♪ And that life happens for a reason ♪ ♪ I don't, I don't, I don't ♪ ♪ And cause it never worked before ♪ ♪ But this time is good ♪ ♪ I'm gonna try and think that just feel better ♪ ♪ Tell me what to do ♪ ♪ You know I can't see through the haze around me ♪ ♪ And I do and I think that just feel better ♪ ♪ And I can't find my way ♪ ♪ And I need a strange ♪ ♪ And I do anything that just feels better ♪ ♪ And a little thing that just feels better ♪ ♪ Said I need you to hold me ♪ ♪ I'm a little far from a show ♪ ♪ And I'm afraid of singing ♪ ♪ You're the only one who knows me ♪ ♪ And who doesn't ignore me ♪ ♪ That my soul is weaving ♪ ♪ I know, I know, I know ♪ ♪ Part of me says let it go ♪ ♪ Everything must have it sealed ♪ ♪ Round and round it goes ♪ ♪ And every day is a wonderful ♪ ♪ But this time, this time ♪ ♪ I'm gon' try and I think that just feel better ♪ ♪ Tell me what to do ♪ ♪ You know I can't see a fruit maze around me ♪ ♪ And I'll do and I think that just feel better ♪ ♪ I can't find my way ♪ ♪ And I need a strange ♪ ♪ And I do anything that just feels better ♪ ♪ And I need a feeling that just feels better ♪ ♪ I'm trying to hold it down ♪ ♪ All things I need behind ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ It's really getting louder ♪ ♪ I think I need a little help this time ♪ ♪ And I need a feeling that just feels better ♪ ♪ And I need a feeling that just feels better ♪ ♪ I'm gon' try and I think that just feel better ♪ ♪ Tell me what to do ♪ ♪ You know I can't see a fruit maze around me ♪ ♪ And I do anything that just feels better ♪ ♪ I can't find my way ♪ ♪ I'm gon' need a strange ♪ ♪ And I do anything that just feels better ♪ ♪ And I need a feeling that just feels better ♪ (upbeat music) - All right boys and girls, that was Carlos Santana and I'm guessing Steven Tyler. What a good fucking song, man. I know that was Steven Tyler and it's just, it's such a bad thing with his voice being gone now. He can't fucking sing no more. And so it's nice to hear him. I mean, I've never been a huge, huge fan. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, I liked him. I don't think, you know, the cards he got dealt kind of suck. He wasn't for a batch surgery and so. - Yeah, he looks old-screw. By the way, I'm not gonna lie, I just got up the toilet. I had to take a big shit there in that mouth. Oh my God, dude. I felt it coming out. I was like, whoa, I don't wanna get out of here. - Sorry, we doggin'. - Yeah, if I don't get out of this seat right now and get to that fucking bathroom and fucking take a duty, then this show is gonna go right off the rails. - Oh my God. - Wow, that fucking was like, (buzzing) it's not a worse than that. - Oh my God. - You know what it is, I had chicken low main for dinner. It was really good and I used that Melinda's the Thai chili sauce on there. Maybe that was what didn't mean. - Oh yeah, so good though. - Love it. - Love it. - Oh my God. (buzzing) - Anything, anything. - Good sauce. - Anything, definitely, whatever. - Yeah, it is. It'll go right through you, Boogie. I'm like, oh, I felt like the gurgles coming on. I'm like, whoa, I gotta get to a bathroom soon. Oh my God. All right guys, welcome back here live. Joe Antonio, show. Oh, thank you for taking over, Boogie. I think Boogie knew that I was into stress. I came back to the microphone, Boogie's talking. I'm like, oh, thank God, what a co-host. (laughing) - I thought something may have happened, something was a mess. (laughing) - This is the bathroom fucking struggling for life. (laughing) My fucking head was red. It's how hard I was pushing it out. I'm like, come on, get out. I gotta get back to the mic. (laughing) Oh my God. Oh, I wanted to ask you something after man. - Oh. - 'Cause I got a Friday off. You know, I was like, I don't know. - If I ever, let me see if I have the clip here. I think I still have it. Yeah, I still have it here. Hmm, well how did it go? Yeah, did you ever like, let me ask you something. Did you ever take a day off from work? All right, and you're just driving around, driving around, you're like looking around, and there's so many people that are out, and then did you ever like ask yourself, like did these people work? Like what do they do? Like, you know, most of these people look like they've never worked a day in their life, but it's like, they're out moseying around, going shopping, it's like fucking Monday, it's or a Tuesday, and you're like, you know, I have this one privilege you're having one day off, and it's like, well, what do these people do? Like, how do they get the privilege? Did you ever notice that, and like think about that too? - I have noticed that, and throughout life, I've had like unemployed friends, and it'll be like, I'll get a text in the morning. It's like, hey, what you doing? It's like, well, it's Wednesday at 10 o'9 a.m., I'm at work, that's just, you know? And no, I do one of them, like, I don't see kids walking around, like, okay, I know it's not a government holiday, where the fuck are your parents, and why aren't you in school? You know? - I never understood it, like how these people get days off from work, and they just go like, you know, moseying around, they go to TJ Max, they go here, running errands, and I'm like, whoa, wow. How come my life's not like that? - And I, how come I get it, like-- - I get it, though, to, like, some of those people, they do have legit 40-hour-a-week work jobs, but, you know, the unfortunate ones that have the weekend shift, and, you know, their week is Thursday through Tuesday, and so they're, you know, whatever, you know what I mean? And so their weekend is actually in the middle of the week, or, who knows? - When I think about guys like BP that are fucking working graveyard shifts every fucking night, you know what I mean? Guy fucking doesn't even, like, I don't even know if BP goes to bed. I don't even know if BP does anything. I think that's all he does is work. BP lives for a paycheck, basically. What's up, Old Town, Old Town's here? - What's going on, boys? What kind of losers are we talking about tonight? - Well, I'm just, I'm talking about, like, do you ever, like, on your day, like, if you get a day off from work, do you ever just drive around and just, like, see people out there, and you're like, and they're, they're, they're shopping at TJ Maxx, and they're doing this, and, ah, they're all in your, like, and you think to yourself, like, what do these people do, like, how do you, like, how do you get a day, like, where you could just walk around and do nothing all day? - I wish. - That would entail me getting a day off in the first place, which doesn't really happen, which is why, yeah, which is why these cocksuckers get to do what they want, 'cause you work in a day they're bills. Yeah, that's true. - Right, right. - Let's take a listen, let's take a listen to this clip. This guy nails this. - What do all these people do, what is going on? - I guess nobody's working today. - Beach volleyball midday on a Wednesday. - Gosh, must be nice. - How is their traffic, where's everybody going right now? - What kind of jobs do these people have? - I'm not working today, but why aren't they? - They'd week at the hotel pool. I wonder what these people are here for. - Look at all these people flying to Hartford, Connecticut at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday. - They want to get drinks tonight. Do they not have work tomorrow? (upbeat music) - Seems like everybody just took the day off. Where did all these people come from? Don't they have homes? - What's everybody doing out right now? They must be on vacation or something. - Does anybody else work? - I work remote and so do a lot of people, I know, but I don't understand. - Shoot, they might be retired. - Is it a national holiday or something? - They will be rich. - That's true, probably work nights. - I call both those things. - I'm running random midday errands. I don't know what these other people are doing. - Oh, I wonder what they do. (laughing) - That's so fucking true. - Oh my God. - Did he say Hartford, Connecticut? - He did. (laughing) - That guy lives nowhere near Hartford, Connecticut. - Oh, that's hilarious. Maybe for those of you that don't know, we just accurately summed up Hartford in about 10 seconds. - Yep. - Shit hole it is. - And I love it too, how he mentioned like the remote fucking working thing, like dude, are we still, are there's people still fucking, I have to call warranty companies during the day and I'll call them and I can't hear their kids crying in the background fucking dogs barking. I feel like saying to them like, dude, why don't you get in your car and drive to your headquarters and actually go to fucking work? Like who still works at home remotely now? I mean, Jesus Christ, dude. - Yeah, it's become such a big thing now to do that. I don't, I don't know, maybe that's 'cause we have kind of manual labor men jobs and I don't know, whatever. I don't understand how a lot of people got away with it, but they do. - You know what it is? They cry in bitch and moan like, oh, you know, I'm, I'm adjusted now to my, my work home life. So I want to stay home and work. Fuck you, dude. - Hey man, a place my fucking sister worked for, Princess Piranha, she got, they fucking kicked her out the fucking door. Like they, they gave, they gave her the fucking props and you know, my nephew, I'm not gonna say his name was, you know, on all the shutdown bullshit home all the time. And she was a fucking parts receivable, fucking inventory clerk type shit, where she could do it from home. And only really need to be at work for a couple of meetings, some vendor shit, you know, one day a week to avoid all the bullshit. And so they were comment, they were, it was a mutual agreement. And they're like, well, you know, this isn't gonna last forever. I mean, they set up her fucking, her third bedroom, a straight up full office and she was taking phone calls and all of that noise and actually working it from work or from home. But when they're like, hey, we need to, you know, everything's back to normal. We need you to hear more than, we can let you work remote, you know, two days a week, but we want you to hear the other three. - Right. - And that was, okay, so mind you, she was only had to be there one day a week. They went around and they consolidated everything to pander to her needs as a single mother. And then with everything went back to normal, they're like, well, look, we need you here at least two. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, are you sure? Because if not, you can go find another job. - Yeah. And then the turn is, well, then they got so shitty. They're like, you know what? Everything is back to normal. We don't understand why you're just not here five days a week. - Ooh. - I like that one. - Well, you know what they do? Like look at Jeff Bezos. - They kicked her to the fucking curtain. She kicked herself to the curb. - Oh, thank you. - Did it to herself. Look at Jeff Bezos from Amazon and look at Elon Musk. He basically came, they actually sent out letters to everybody and said, listen, the whole remote thing is over. You either report to the fucking headquarters or your fucking can. And anybody that didn't show up that one day where they actually said, this is the day you need to report the work. If you didn't show up, guess what? You got your letter of resignation in the fucking mail. I'm like, but don't even fucking come here anymore. You're fired. - Yeah. - That's it. - Who is that? Elon Musk? - Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos from Amazon. And he said, they did the same fucking thing. He's like, listen, we need people in these fucking, in these offices. - Because of the headphones. - Right. Why am I paying for this building if I don't have humans in it? - Right, right. - Realizing the actual space in the infrastructure. That's the thing. That's what Elon Musk said. He goes, why am I paying people to fucking say, I don't know what they're doing off the clock. I can't put cameras in these people's houses. Half the time, they got their headsets on, they're walking around the house, they're bringing the dog out to take a shit, they're burping their kid, they're making dinner, they're making lunch, watching Fox News all day. I mean, what the fuck, dude? How do you monitor? We can't monitor people while they're fucking home working. Supposed to. It was crazy during COVID. Like, the store didn't shut down. Of course, I was essential, but I was still swinging a paintbrush through it too. And people, COVID's so bad, but they'll let you in their home to fucking, to redecorate their houses and paint and shit. And I see all. - I'm assuming you were busier then, than you were before. 'Cause I do slammed, slammed, bro. - I'm telling you, it was a gold mine on both ends, 'cause they were home. Everybody was home, like, going fucking zoomin' to school. And they didn't have anything to do so, they were spending this money, 'cause they were lookin' at their walls, they're like, oh, these are disgusting, fuck. - Exactly. - And then I come to the store, and nobody's got anywhere to go, so they're hangin' out at fucking Packard stores. I couldn't get 'em out of here fast enough. - You know, dude, I remember during COVID, man, like right at the height when it got bad, where everything got shut down, I remember going to the fucking package store, and just the fuckin' lines of people, dude. It's like 11 o'clock in the morning, and you're like, staring around and you're like, oh my God, dude, listen, whoever, you were essential. Anybody that worked in a package store, you were an essential worker, 'cause these people are miserable, they're like, oh my God, am I ever gonna be able to leave my house again? Oh, I might as well just sit home and drink my face off. You know why we were deemed essential, right? - So that people wouldn't kill themselves. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And the hospital wouldn't get overrun. - There it is. - Which fuckin' alcoholics detoxer. - That's the winner. - Yeah, that's the winner right there. - That was the big thing is that they didn't want all these alcoholics flooding into the fuckin', 'cause then they'd have another pandemic. - Correct. - So they declared us-- - So they declared us-- - Sitin' on your fuckin' front step, fuckin' with the dt's and shit, fuckin' shit. (speaking in foreign language) - Well, not to mention like every package store in the state or in the country would have got robbed. You know, desperate people, desperate people. - Oh, the first thing I do is be fuckin' be like that fuckin' Sublime song, April 26th, 1994. - You know, that's where you got that guitar. - That's why you see that all these alcohol companies, the beer companies, they all started ramping up production, 'cause they're like, listen, we gotta start fuckin' pumpin' shit out, 'cause we can make a lot of money during this shit. They saw the money on the wall. They didn't give a fuck, dude. Listen, if you were on the fuckin' front step of a fuckin' back of store with the dt's and gettin' ready to pass out, the fuckin' liquor companies are like, yeah, perfect. Ah, got 'em. Hopefully they got money. Oh, they got their stimulus check. Oh, even better, they're gonna stack their fridge with fuckin' Miller Lite and all the good dt's. Ain't no cheap beers for these assholes, they're gonna step it up. - Oh, yeah, they're goin' for the 9%ers and the 10%ers are like, yeah, these guys, then they really want somethin' hard and strong. But, yeah, listen, it was a crazy, crazy time you think back to that shit, man. It was just, it was fucked up, dude, but. - So what are the chances we're gonna see it again with, I am just a conspiracy theorist. They're with our new old president. Think we might see something like that again? - Yeah, I'm gonna take that. - Not in this, not in this presidency. I don't think, I don't think at all. But I would like it to happen again. 'Cause I missed a pandemic. I had more sex in the pandemic than I did. (laughing) - You know, we've always talked about this boogie like in the past, too, and like, I actually didn't really mind the pandemic. I actually thought it was great. You know, I just gave me a lot of time to reflect. I started this radio show, gave me some time to kind of do some outside projects that I was never able to do. And I got furloughed from work and, you know, it wasn't really that bad, man. I had a decent time. - Well, I mean, just like in the town, I was an essential worker in the, I'm not gonna say the shitty place I worked for, but CDT. (laughing) I'm kind of a dime in a tool if people don't understand that. I was an essential worker until I wasn't, but when the shutdowns like happened and people couldn't go to bars and like, that was not my thing at that point anyway. I was like, go home. Go to work and go home. Go to work and go home. - Right, it didn't really matter. - No, it was nothing new to me, but it enlightened me. It didn't enlighten me. I want to say it brought me joy to watch these. We'd be walking out the door and everybody'd be like, "Oh, guess it's time to just go home." I'm like, "Welcome to my world, assholes." They enjoy it. - Perfect. - We're in San repeat. - Right. - I didn't realize, you know, listen, I could say that it was a bad time and it was, don't get me wrong. I mean, it wasn't a fucking great time, but at the same point, I made the best of it. I just, I was like, you know what, listen, it's a shitty time. I'm gonna have to deal with it. And that's what it is. - And it really was a global emergency and it was bad. Now I'm glad it's fated down to a cold, just an acceptable thing, but I mean, it was. I mean, I lost family members. I lost four or five, but they did have underlying health issues that didn't help the situation. So it's. - And how pronounced were those underlying health issues? You know what I mean? Like if they were healthy, would COVID have taken them? - Probably not. I mean, but they were all elderly too. So I mean, they had that going for them. So I mean, they had cancer and they were so, but I mean, I hated the fact that, you know, it got to the point where people were making jokes that, "Oh, there's a shooting, a double homicide." And it turns out the shooting didn't kill anybody at COVID. - Yeah, it's like, what are you talking about? - So after the dead body, regardless of the cause, if it's still, yeah, they still blamed it on COVID. So the numbers got way fucking skewed. - That is my friend. That is a super real fucking thing that happened. And I know also it happened with the hospitals because they were getting federal funding. And the more they claimed, the more money they got. - Right, so if you got fucking a patient that, you know, came in with a broken elbow and then tested positive, young, old, whatever, whether it affected them horribly or not, boom, another 40 grand a day, pumped into your pocket. - Right, you got a guy that goes into the hospital. Okay, he gets a nick on his fucking finger or something. And all of a sudden, he gets a staff infection. It travels all the way up to his heart. He dies and all of a sudden, he tests him, he's got COVID. Oh, he died because of the COVID. - No, it was, that's exactly what they said. - Right, exactly. - The fucking staff infection killed him. He had a fucking staff infection that went to his heart and killed him. - No, no, no. It was the COVID, COVID is what killed him. Okay, all right. - So I got a doctor that comes in here, right? And just, this just popped in my head and I got to get it out before I forget who's the doctor? - You do the got to do the work. You got to put in the work through the work. - No, they're stuck in it, they're stuck in it. They're stuck in it, they're stuck in it. They're stuck in it, you know, they're stuck in it. - They're stuck in it, they kill myself. - If you're too fucked and you can't take a diet and you're good to COVID, then you got to do it, they're stuck in the way. - COVID is going to cause my suicide if I hear that voice again. - So anyway, this doctor that I know knows that doctor, well, like they're in each other's phones. And I'm like, no, I really, no shit. And we're going back and forth today, not two hours, three hours ago. And he goes, he goes, that dude's actually a really, really cool dude. And yeah, I don't really watch the show. I just know of him, whatever he goes. His wife is smoking fucking hot too. - She really? - Yeah, and the way he put it out. So. (laughing) - Yeah, my life, she's smoking hot. She's got big booby. - Big, big, big breast, big breast. - Hey, a lot of money for those boobies. - Oh, of course, I'm sure he did. Wow, Dr. Niles got a hot white. That's crazy. You know somebody that actually, hey, listen, I know our old town sheriff, Dr. Friend, and we were going, oh, we're back. We went to MIT together. - So-- - No, Toronto, they won't-- - So did you tell this doctor customer years that yeah, we were talking about him on the podcast, I'm part of, the joint Tony of Shush. - We certainly did. - We should get this fella on. He's like a second head star. We need those. - I mean, I think that is shot. (laughing) - That guy's been around for a while at Dr. Niles. I mean, he's been on TV for probably, at least I want to say like 15 years or something like that. He's been pretty pumped. - Doing the same show? - Yeah. - That show's been on TV for 15 fucking years. - Yeah, there's always gonna be fat fucks. - Let me come on. - Never gets away. - Yeah, listen, listen, get a point. - Everybody's always getting fat out down. You don't understand? They don't do their work, and they do their work, and then they get even fatter, and then they have to bring a promaster to the house and start them out, and then they want me to stop at the tunnels on the way to the hospital. - Oh, man. - I can hear Boogie's pressure rising. (laughing) Let me tell you something. I tried watching that Dr. Pipple popper the other day again, just to like see if I can fucking handle it. I could not fucking handle it, dude. It was terrible, dude. I literally got through like maybe about 30 seconds of it, and I'm like, I cannot fucking watch this. I don't know how it is. - I'm assuming that's exactly what the title of the show is. - Dr. Pipple popper, yeah. - Yeah, it is. - Get the fuck. - It's so fucking disgusting. - This is where we sunk. - Yeah, that's what this world has become. I mean, we got to thank the pandemic for this kind of shit as well. - Oh, yeah, listen, that programing got me through the fucking pandemic. I remember when I told the story to you, when I had Max, you know, my old dog, Max, and I turned on Dr. Pipple popper, Max used to watch TV with me all the time. He literally was a dog that would lay on the fucking couch with me and watch TV. I remember I turned on an episode of Dr. Pipple popper, and he put his paw over his fucking head when they saw him moving on. He fucking swear, I wish I had a fucking gimme your camera for this. He put his paw over his fucking eyes and sunk his head into the couch. As soon as he did that, I looked over at him, he was whimpering. I'm like, all right, I gotta turn this off. I'm gonna fucking scale this dog for the rest of his life. - So how bad does one's affliction have to be, to have an outside source you have to pay to pop your pick? - Dude, I don't understand it. - Dude, let me tell you something. There was one that I watched, okay? And I'm not trying to fucking gross you out here, but dude, this guy had a fucking boil on the back of his neck. I swear, it looks like a fucking tumor, okay? It looked like a fucking tumor. It was disgusting, all right? So the guy goes to this facility and he sits down and dr. evaluates it and he's like, all right, listen, he goes, I'm gonna have to bring you to another room. He goes because this is gonna get really messy. So they put him in like the drab and stuff, like he's got the fucking hospital gown on. I mean, they told him to like strip down, put the gown on, we gotta get in there and get dirty. We gotta get our hands dirty. So this guy comes in with like literally, it looked like a beekeeper suit, okay? (laughing) Goes into the fucking room, okay? And he's got like this little tool set, like this pimple popping tool. - Oh my God. - I mean, I'm sitting there and I'm watching this. I'm like, oh my God, I don't know how I'm gonna get through this. I'm gonna fucking pute. He goes in there, number one, the guy fucking sticks a suture into the side of this fucking tumor and then literally takes almost like a fucking clock and puts it on the top of this fucking thing and fucking closes the thing. Dude, all you see, literally hit the camera, the guy that was filming, I felt so bad. - Oh my God. - Wherever this guy was filming, he deserves a fucking Academy Award, okay? - Just for being a fucking, just for sitting. Dude, the whole entire room just looked like a fucking, it got like almost, oh, remember the slimer and you know, slimer from the, from the first question. - Yeah, why would he slime to Rick Moranis? - Yeah, remember every room he'd go in, it would just look like, dude, that's what it looked like. - Yeah, destroyed. - Covered in white pus everywhere, dude. And I dude, whoever had to go in those rooms and clean those things and wipe those fucking things down, dude, I swear, I could just imagine how those things smell too. Just a smell come, oh! - Look at like a fucking crime scene. - I can tell you from personal experience that I never went to the doctor for this kind of thing and my girlfriend wasn't into that weird shit, but I had a pretty nasty one under my, like not my armpit, but underneath. And I mean, it was throbbing and hurting. And I mean, it was probably underneath the skin, it was probably the size of a golf ball. - Oh, yep, I've been there. And fucking, my girl was like, all right, this is what we're gonna do. And she's like, and we got paper towels and she fucking took a fucking thumbtack and sterilized it. And when it actually broke her and broke the skin, I felt the pressure go away. And she just took that thing. And I mean, we probably went through a third or a half a thing of paper towels. - Damn! - Squeeze in on that motherfucker. It was disgusting, it was liquid, soft, it was, you know. - What color was it? - It was bloody white and little darkish yellow. And I mean, it was like, the rainbow of the gross, it was a gross rainbow of colors. - There was like, bile in it old town, it came out. - All right, yes. - It was 100%. - So, I'll go ahead. - So when she was done, when we got it all out of there, she's like, all right, I'm gonna take, she snagged one of these little fucking needles, like hypodermic needles or whatever that you can buy over the counter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And she filled it full of fucking, like sucked it out and put fucking peroxide in it. That fucking hurt! 'Cause she stuck it right, she stuck it right in that hole. And as soon, it looked like, she told me, she said, as soon as I did it, it looked like one of those fucking, those fucking little kids, things when they do the volcano. She's like, oh my gosh, or one of those, but I mean, I felt it, yeah. (laughing) But when she was done, and it was all rinsed out, and there was like a void underneath my skin, like of-- - Boogie? - Like the-- - Yes, it took us-- - I had the same thing. Yeah, yeah, I got you. I know exactly what you're talking about because when I had mine, I'm like, what's this fucking walnut in my leg? And I had to go to the emergency room, and they're like, yeah, have you ever been to jail? I'm like, what's that have to do with him? (laughing) We, you know, inmates and correctional officers in the 90 percentile have mercy. And I'm like, are you kidding me? And they're like, well, this is a staff infection, and that's what it was. That's what it was. They said, she goes, quote, "I need to get an IV in you, stat." I'm like, what, what? So they-- - So wait, I'm gonna die. - Oh, yeah, this is a real thing. But she goes, you should be good now, and they gave me a shot in the ass, like a horse, the horse dart, and the IV. And I mean, when you say golf ball, walnut, I know exactly what you're talking about 'cause the size of this thing was the size of a walnut. So she goes, it's gonna-- - Yeah, it's like golf ball, but-- - Yeah. - It's gonna come to the skin, it's gonna pop, and she goes, when it popped, it's gonna be something like you've never seen. She goes, it's gonna be the color and consistency of loose peanut butter. - Oh my god, this should be a fucking good one. - So, I know where I got it. - It wasn't, nothing to do with jail. I can't say 'cause I don't want to put my cousin on blast, but-- - You just did. (laughing) - Your whole family is gonna die. - I do the buddies. (laughing) But I wound up, I wound up, I got another one, ready for this? - Right under my chin, like not my neck, my chin. So it looked like I had like a golf ball, half a golf ball under my chin, like said towards later, and it was the same thing. - It was a ball chin, yeah. - A ball chin. - There you go. - You looked like the elephant, man. (laughing) - You did pretty much. - Yeah, those are staff infections. From what I know, that's at least what they told me I had. - So you told me I could have fucking died. - I told this thing. - You could have died, yeah? - I did a girl just all nonchalant with a goddamn fucking, you know, my old lady with a fucking dumb tack and a lighter. - I had a staff infection when I was 13 years old. I had to go to the hospital, I was in the hospital for fucking five days, and it was a cut that was on my finger that I'd never cared about. So it traveled up my arm, like I was telling you before, literally I had a red line that was going on my arm and my mom was like, "Oh my God." - That's blood poisoning. - The old lady told me while I was at, she goes, I was listening to her talk to my mom, they were like trying to say it secretly 'cause they didn't want me to hear. They're like, "You're lucky you got in here "because we might have had to amputate his arm." I might be walking around. - Good luck. - Oh, fucking staff infection. That's how fucked up it was. - No, that's fucking blood infection, that's worse than a staff infection. - Well, the staff infection, what happens is, is when it sits in there long enough, it travels up your arm, goes through all your arteries, it goes right up, and where is it lead to? - I'm sorry, not blood poisoning. You have blood poisoning, you don't have staff infection. You have blood poisoning. - It was a staff infection that turned into blood poisoning because where does all of it come from? - Like, great. - Where does it come from? - You're going septic. - Yeah, that's great. - Yeah, that's true. - It would have kept my fucking arm off. My mom actually told me like a two or three years later, she goes, "You know that staff infection you had, "they actually were contemplating whether "to cut your arm off, I'm like, "All right, let's not talk about something else." - Was it your dominant arm? - My right arm, yeah. - Oh, fuck! - They told me I had a 50/50 whether they were going to chop my leg off when I got into my motorcycle accident, like a fucking retard that I am, and I woke up, I woke up under anesthesia in the operating room while this fucking doctor is drilling something into my leg and he's calling me by name, and he goes, I remember that he goes-- - Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, please. - He goes, "Yeah." He goes, "No matter what you do," he goes, "You cannot smoke." You understand me? And I'm like, "Yeah, yep, just patch me up." Funny story was, apparently, I don't find out until about a year later. That's when I nodded out. Allegedly, I thought I nodded out. Apparently, I tried to get up, I tried fighting with the doctor, I call him all the fucker, I fucked his wife, I decided-- - 'Cause I was drunk during the accident, like a fucking asshole. - Yeah, that's why the anesthesia didn't work. - That's where it is, yep. (laughing) So, when I released myself from the rehabilitation center, the first thing I did was buy a pack of cigarettes, and six months later, for my monthly checkup on my leg, the doctor goes, "There's no significant healing "in six months, we're gonna send you to Yale." And I'm like, "Ah, great." So, the Yale doctor looks at me and he goes, "All right, listen, you're old enough, "I don't have to fuck around with you here." He was a great doctor. He goes, "The chances of me cutting off your leg "is not zero." Now, my deaf father, who was in the room, goes white as a fucking corpse. Now, he obviously didn't hear what he said, but I guess he read the guy's lips enough to know, and instantly, the old man goes, "Hey, Doc, out in the hall for a second." (laughing) - Oh my God. - I swear to God, dude. So, he brings, they go out in the hall together, they're out there for about a minute. My father comes back in the room, whiter than he was when he left. And I'm like, "What the fuck?" And the doctor reiterates, "Listen, if you do not stop smoking now," he goes, "I could promise you I'm taking your leg." He goes, "If you stop smoking now," he goes, "You might have a shot." - What did smoking have you said? What was the significance of smoking? - Because when you smoke with an injury like mine, it was a tip thing. - It was a really, really bad. I'll send you guys the picture. - No, I don't need the pictures. - There's some type of reaction that the nicotine causes in your blood that can actually fucking thin your blood out to a point where it's just, there's nothing going into any of the oxygen. - Yeah, it stops the oxygen from getting where it needs to be the heel. And the doctor said, "Listen." He goes, "If you're so dead set on smoking," he goes, "Stop, we'll try and save your leg, try." And he goes, "When I clear you, you could go back to smoking." One story short, I literally went into my pocket, I handed him my smokes. Quit cold turkey, but my one year checkup, he's like, yeah, he's like this, you finally, and I went through multiple procedures after that. He said, "Yeah, okay, he goes, you're good." He goes, "You can start smoking again if you really want to, "but I'm sure you're not gonna do that." - Yeah, fuck you. - He goes, "You know, fuck no quitter." So, yeah, I'm smoking like a champ. Now, and I'm walking with a lint. - All time I like when I do have two legs. - You went right to the fucking store and bought a cart, and you're like, fuck this shit. I'm gonna smoke absolutely. - That'll blame you, dude. - It's bull smokers, you know the deal. - It's a tough, clean the kick, man. All right, guys, listen, let's do it. Let's get into some music. When we come back, we've got a lot to get to, a lot of news, a lot of new stuff that we didn't get to all time last week. So, we'll get into that. - Jump into it. - A lot of cool stuff, let's do it. Oh, hey, Boogie, let's take a listen to a hangover guy and we had a little message for you today. - Hangover guy. - Oh, my. - Yeah. I can't drink tonight, it's Monday, and I drink all weekend. Just because you drink all weekend doesn't mean you can't drink on Monday. Monday is the hardest day of the week to get through. The least you can do for making it through your Monday is reward yourself by having a few drinks at the end of the day. - Mondays are a lot less miserable when you know there's drinks waiting for you at the end of the day. - Yeah, there you go. (laughs) All right, guys, little jettie swims. I'm gonna go reach for the boot. We'll be right back. Come on, come on, come on, come on. (upbeat music) ♪ Sun is falling down ♪ ♪ Time is running out ♪ ♪ Don't run out around with me ♪ ♪ Stay loose in life ♪ ♪ Stay loose in my mind ♪ ♪ Oh, it shatters in my teeth ♪ ♪ Without you, there ain't no place in me to hide ♪ ♪ Without you, make the way I can sleep tonight ♪ ♪ What I do, owe a little bit of peace and cry ♪ ♪ Without you, I keep slipping into my dreams ♪ ♪ But there is no way you will hide ♪ ♪ No sign when I find ♪ ♪ I love you, I need you to save me free ♪ ♪ From all of these bad dreams ♪ ♪ Waiting on the other side ♪ ♪ But I will sign when I find ♪ ♪ I love you, I need you to save me free ♪ ♪ From all of these bad dreams ♪ ♪ Ooh, bad dreams ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ All of these bad dreams come around ♪ ♪ Yeah, me settle down ♪ ♪ At least have a surprise ♪ ♪ But you had to go inside the physical ♪ ♪ I can do this by myself ♪ ♪ Without you, every no place in me ♪ ♪ Without you, without you ♪ ♪ That the way I can see you tonight ♪ ♪ Without you, oh, a little bit of peace and cry ♪ ♪ Without you, I keep slipping into my dreams ♪ ♪ But there is no way you will hide ♪ ♪ No sign when I find ♪ ♪ I love you, I need you to save me free ♪ ♪ All the things, all the things ♪ ♪ Waiting on the other side ♪ ♪ No sound when I cry ♪ ♪ I love you and I need you to save me free ♪ ♪ All of these, all of these ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ That dream, that dream, that dream, that dream ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ All the things, all the things ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ - All right, little teddy swims there. I like that guy, I mean, he's got some cool tunes. Something that, uh, some of his new album, let's go. Got some more, I know, I know he doesn't like that. He's not, that's who's on his face. (laughs) - Anybody with tattoos? - Hey, hey, hey, look at my face now. ♪ I'm a big dumb man, yeah ♪ ♪ And I did have some sex one time ♪ - Hey, listen, yeah. ♪ And I'm just a whole lot now ♪ - You gotta give the guy a little credit. He's got, you know, he's got some good tunes. - I know. - All right, guys, welcome back. - He ruined his life. - Fuck him. (laughs) - He ruined his face. - Yo Antonio Show, guys, we're back here live. Thanksgiving week. Guys, we will be here on Wednesday to do a night before Thanksgiving show. So make sure you guys tune in on Wednesday. Make sure you guys go to the joantonioshow.com, check out all the past episodes, and make sure you check out the merch store. I was talking to you guys earlier. Starting in the month of December, we're gonna be doing 30% off all of our merchandise. So if you guys are looking for some stocking stuffers, or if you want me to come and stuff your wife's stocking with my penis, I can come over for a very short chart. I'll talk about that later on. - You'll have to pay them. - You'll have to pay them. - You'll have to pay them. (laughs) - Oh, speaking of Elon Musk, you want to hear something really fucked up, dude? This guy impersonated Elon Musk, and actually, he fucking swindled these from this older couple out of like $250,000 older. - Ah, shit. - Yeah, I know it. Listen to this. This is pretty fucking wild, dude. - I wish I was that innovative. (laughs) - This man is not Elon Musk. But police in Florida say he convinced an elderly woman to give him a lot of money by allegedly pretending to be the famous tech billionaire and claiming he would make her millions on her investment. The Bradenton Police Department says 56-year-old Jeffrey Moynihan was behind a Facebook account that befriended a 74-year-old woman in Texas last year claiming to be Elon Musk. Investigators say the victim was enticed to invest in the fake Musk business set up by Moynihan with a promise of a $55 million return. - Police say financial Russia shows she transferred $250,000 into an account for Moynihan's painting business. - Although the woman's husband tells them she gave the alleged Musk impersonator around $600,000 in total. Police also say that Moynihan claimed his girlfriend, whom he has never met in person and only interacts with online, was the mastermind of the plan, and it is possible he is a victim of a romance. - You can make the show up too, what the fuck? - Yeah. - Moynihan has been charged with grand theft and is in jail on a $250,000 bond. Police say the real Elon Musk is not under investigation in this case. (laughs) - No shit, I would hope not. - Fuckin' it. - It's probably a look at it one. - It's old town, old town. I got a, look man, I got a sweet deal. I got a sweet, sweet deal. We're gonna put Mattress firm out of business. I got a line on mattresses from Argentina. Okay? - Okay. - Yeah, do it out. - Brand new, in the package. In the package, brand new, all sizes from crib to double king. That's right, double king. Just like double king. - Just like double king. - Did you get a clutch? - I'm in. - You're in, okay. - That's all it took. - That's all I'm gonna need from you is a $10,000 startup fee, but I guarantee you, your return, $600,000. Are you in? - Wow, I'm all in. Thank you, sir. - Let me go my, let me go my Venmo app right now. (laughs) - And, well, Joe, if you'd like to be involved, you're the same price, $600,000 a piece. We're gonna double our business in one transaction. And with that, you each get a free queen size pillow top mattress. - Oh, wow. - Gently youth. - Wow. - You just need to pick these mattresses up at Motel 14. (laughs) Off-turnway park drive. (laughs) And I'll be sitting by the dumpster, free for you to grab. - I just don't understand, though, guys, how somebody could be so swindled into something like that. Thinking that Elon Musk is just gonna reach out to you and be like, "Hey, listen." - Personally. - Yeah, personally, I got this great investment deal. You guys have to get involved with this, please. Can you please? - So, I'm gonna tell you how that happens, right? 'Cause I actually know first, and I did some work for a little bit of the lady. A few years ago. Yeah. (laughs) (laughs) Some plumbing. I did some plumbing. - Oh, that's why he's a millionaire. - But, no, she got the call from a scammer that her grandson had been arrested and this guy was a police or whatever, and what was it like, apple gifts, gift cards. And it was the woman at Walmart that was like, "Lady, do me a favor. "I'll give you your fucking gift cards, "but I'll call your grandson before we do this." And let's see. And lo and behold, the kid was at work. - He's just fine. Yeah. - I have a phony phone call, I think, back from 2020 during the pandemic where I had a guy that was on the phone and he was trying to swindle me into going to a fucking Walmart to get fucking apple gift cards and shit to give him money, and I swear I was fucking with him so bad. I gotta fucking find that. I'll try to play it on Wednesday. - Please do. - It was fucking crazy. Dude, this guy kept calling me and I kept picking up the phone. I'm like, "I'm here." I was acting like an old lady. "I don't know what to do." And the guy was-- - I remember this. Yeah. Yeah, it was fucking dope. - This fucking Indian guy's like, "Listen, let me tell you, you'll have to listen to me. "You have to go to the front desk to take the card, "you'll put the money on it." - And then it was after after the activator. He's like, "You need to read me the numbers off each card, "the numbers off each card." So then I can put him, yeah. - I was fucking with that guy, so bad. He got so fucking frustrated. I remember he hung up on me. - Yeah, he hung up on you. - It was like, yeah. It was like a seven-minute phone call 'cause he would hang up on me 'cause then I would call him back and be like, "I got the cards now, what do I do?" - And I was just fucking with him like, 'cause he wanted the money so bad and I was like, and I was just, I kept on prolonging it and prolonging it. And I remember when I hung up with him, I remember my co-host at the time, Mike Ritala, who was the booty, 'cause that is the funniest fucking thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. I can't believe that you strung that guy out that bad and left him on the phone for so fucking long. I mean, that was like the art of the great phony phone call. - Can I put myself on blast here? - Yeah, no. - W-A-M-B-C. - You know, I kind of got my shit together for the most part now, but financially, I definitely did not. So I knew that the bill for the electric was due when I'd come home and I have no electricity, they shut my fucking power off. So that's kind of like a seven month period so I was scraped and bi-paying that bill. And I knew my power was a day or two within getting shut off and I got a call from EverSource. That's our power company out here, Boogie. And they said, "Hey, we're gonna shut your power off." I'm like, "Don't shut my, but you guys shut my power off every fucking month." Well, we need 280, which is this month and we're gonna need next month 'cause you're a fucking degenerate. - Yeah, we need a deposit, whatever. - Yeah, they got me. They got me and it was not legit. - Oh, no, yeah, I'm sorry, but they never would have got me if it wasn't for the timing. The timing was perfect. - Right, yeah. - 'Cause I'm like, "Oh, today's the day, we were tomorrow's the day, and my power's getting shut. Maybe I'm getting a fucking courtesy call." Little did I know that they don't call you. - Yeah, they don't do that. They don't do that. - Number one, they don't call you and number two, Connecticut has a no-shutoff policy. So even if you're five, six, seven months late on your fucking, on your electric bill, they can-- - No matter, you still just owe money. - Yeah, when did that go into effect? - Yeah, during COVID. - Yeah, okay, it makes sense, no. - Yeah, during COVID, they actually put a no-power shutoff, they said it late, and they had never lifted that because people were fucking struggling, they couldn't pay their fucking electric bills. Everybody was behind. Every source was jacking rates up on people 'cause they knew people were susceptible and vulnerable. So, they're like, all right, we're not gonna shut your power up, you're just gonna owe us a lot of money once you actually get your fucking stupid stimuli. - We're gonna dig your fucking credit for the rest of your fucking life, your grandkids are gonna feel it. - We'll put you in collections and you're never gonna fucking get out of the rut that you're in, that you're already in. - I got one for you on that, man. Oh, man, I got one for you on that. So, when I was 24, I had been kicked out, dropped out of college, I'm working yadda yadda yadda. Got kicked out of the house because I quit going to college without telling anybody. And so, anyway, and I'm running from the cops. It was a whole situation. - And nurse. - So, when I finally get my apartment, my $335 a month apartment, one bedroom, one bath, kitchen, living room, Roach Motel, man, Roach Motel did not care. $335 in the middle of Fort Wayne CD/not CD neighborhood. Yes, there were shootings, but I was friends with the people doing the shootings. So, it's okay. And so, here's the deal with my place. The only bill I had to pay, like if I wanted a landline that's on me, the only other bill I had was the electric bill. And now, this is the first time in my life that I have to actually pay on my own, my electric bill. So, I get my first electric bill. Of course, I pay the deposit, okay? 'Cause it's first timey, which was like $100. And so, I get my first bill and it's like, $17, I'm like, fuck, this ain't around. Another fucking $18 plus the fee. It's like up to $35 or something like that. And like, fuck 'em, I'll pay 'em when I feel like it. They already got $180 of my money. They can just take it out of that. - That's the attitude. - 'Cause I didn't know how it worked. And so, month three rolls around. I'm like, nope, not paying this. My bill is all the way up to like a whole $62. It mind you, I'm making money enough to pay for it. So, this raging ass ice storm comes through. And power all over the city gets fucking shut down. And guess who gets shut down because of not the ice storm? Mine, because I didn't pay $62. So, I call my fucking landlord. - Everybody else in the building has their power. Everybody else in the building has power. Why don't I? He's like, well, you know, why don't you go downstairs and check your number C on, like we all had our own individual things. I was number C on the power, and it had been clipped and one had been put on by the power company. So, I call the power company and I'm like, hey, what's going on? Why can't you? And they're like, well, you need to pay your bill. I'm like, well, I'll pay it right now. And they're like, well, that's fine. But since you were shut off from non-compliance, emergency goes over you. So, you're looking at like two weeks. - Good. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. What? I'm like, yeah, sorry, you should have paid your bill. No, fuck's given by them. They don't, you know? And so, I had this inkling in my head. Like, when I moved into that place, it was a house turned into a bunch of apartments. And in my bedroom, there was a outlet that didn't work. So, when my power got shut off, the light bulb and the light in the hallway didn't work anymore. So, I was hooked up to that. And so, I got to thinking, why is this shut off in my, why is this outlet not working? My bedroom, which butts up to the neighbor's bedroom. (laughing) - Oh my god. - And so, no, I am not fucking kidding you. So, mind the guy for fucking brain. (laughing) It pulls out my, pulls out the fucking dresser I had in front of it. And I open it up and sure as shit, it's unhooked. There's no, like, it was intentionally unhooked. And so, I grabbed that wire and it fucking shocks me. I'm like, oh, we're in business. We're in business. (laughing) So, I'm sitting here electrocuting myself fucking, you know, screwing that wire back into the socket. (laughing) Head down to the cheap ass fucking hardware store and grab a bunch of extension cords. - Extension cords. (laughing) (laughing) - So, I got a search protector. I got an extension cord running from my fridge in the kitchen to a search protector, going into my bedroom. So, I grabbed the TV, dragged that into the bedroom. And my heat's already taken care of, 'cause it was gas, water's already taken care of, 'cause it's in the lease. And so, I've got electricity in one bedroom. And I'm like, well, how am I gonna cook? Oh, I've got a toaster oven. So, I break the fucking toaster oven and it's in the living room. Now, I do find that I did find that I can't be watching TV and using the toaster oven at the same time because the first time it flipped, I'm like, fuck, I killed everybody. And then, nobody was just a search protector. So, I said, fuck it. I went a month and a half without paying that fucking bill. - Oh my God. - And my neighbors kept asking me, like, man, I don't understand why my electric bill's so much higher. I'm like, I don't know, man. I don't know what to tell ya. (laughing) - That's really weird. - It's like stealing somebody's wifi. You know what I mean? Boogie's like, oh, shit, I can't watch Dr. Pipperpoper. I gotta turn that off so I can cook this ham sandwich on the hot plate. - Yeah, pretty much. That's exactly right. - That's fucking crazy dude. - Oh, what a time to be alive, that was. - Well, just be happy you are where you are right now. Hey, speaking of fucking people that are just down and out on their luck. Well, listen, not the dad, but these kids, man. Listen, I know you guys love the raging Italian dad. Oh, I got some ones for you tonight, guys. These fucking kids, man. You know, listen, I'm telling you, these kids live like scavengers and they're fucking poor father, dude. He treats them like fucking like their royalty. Like, you know, give some money, give some money. Gives them a fucking roof to live under, clothes, and now they, no, fuck, not fuck him. Fuck the kids with the kids with the kids with the kids. - Nah, Boogie's right. - A fridge for them to throw their garbage into to keep it cold. - Oh, really? - It is a little bit excessive here. I got a couple for you. This one here, he's yelling at one of the kids because he's like sleeping before he's going to the club and he comes downstairs and he's just like, he's fucking on the page. I don't know what it is with these kids with wingstop, but they can't help these are garbage. I mean, these kids are just like, dude, if this was my dad would kick my fucking ass, dude. Take a listen to this. The kids are laying in bed. It's like 9.30, 10 o'clock at night. He's just getting ready to get up like you go to the club. You know, yeah, this typical fucking douchebag, kid. - I remember those days, man. - Dude, he's cranking in here, dude. I told you to fucking eat him since he's in a fucking airplane with a fucking heat. You're under the fucking blankets with the fam. - Here we go. - You got the fucking computer on with two screens and look at all the fucking wingstop you got in here. Two fucking industrial sized bags. There's fucking 15 chickens in each fucking bag. What are you resting up to go clubbing tonight? - What do you say there's 15 chickens in each fucking bag? (laughing) - We're not fucking out of clubbing. What do you fucking do? Stand in the corner like this. (laughing) No fucking girls. (laughing) And I drop time to go home. (laughing) Why are you going there fucking sit up? You know what you're doing there? You probably go there and you sit on your fucking phone and you shut down and you shut down and you shut down. Time to go home. Is that what you fucking do? What the fuck are you doing? - I love him for lighting him up like that 'cause he's probably the fucking truth. (laughing) Oh 100%. A kid like that is probably a douche bag that stands against the wall at the club and just watches girls and does nothing. - You gotta turn off the guy. - It has like three or four chicks roll by and like, "Oh, what do you do?" "Oh, I'm the ridge just telling you dad, kid." And then I go, "Oh my God, he's viral. "Let's make him more viral with herpes." - You hear me touch his penis. - God damn computers. It's always with you. - He's dancing with the guys. - Yep. (laughing) - Fucking guy. - Seriously, you need to fucking be concerned of the fucking electric around here. - What do I do? - You leave everything on what you do. There's fucking lights, heat cracking, computers on, beds are fucking weak stuff. Your fucking garbage is overflowing. - It's speaking of electric, yeah. - Kids got like all his computers on his fucking TV. Fucking lights are all on. He's laying in bed like a fucking smelt. - I love how the kids laughing at the old man the entire time like, "What are you gonna do? "What are you really gonna do, pop?" You know? - I could never punk my dad like that, old Tom. That's the problem. Like if I ever pulled that shit with my father, did I get a fuck him back in? I'd be living in a wood shipper somewhere, okay? But dad would fuck him. - You guys know what a cock, cock hold? You guys know what that is, right? - Yeah, yeah, of course. - Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dad's the old man, 100%. - Of course, you just, you, I'm telling you right now, at this point, after listening to these, he's just going along for the ride. Here's another one, I guess one of the kids was supposed to like sign some like insurance forms 'cause he cracked up one of his cars and the dad's trying to get the thing signed but you know, the kids fucking just, you know, sitting there and these kids are just like, I don't know what it is, they're just lazy, you're just wet buying the ears, I don't know, take a listen. - I've been paid for work out yet online, like I asked you to this morning. - One people were. - Put a fuck in it and look at the car so I get your fucking car fixed. Otherwise you're gonna be fucking telling me every day, I can't get the work 'cause I don't have a fucking car. Well, no shit. - Dude, the car is fine. - No, it's got, what do you mean it's fine? It's got fucking damage on it. (laughing) You said a fucking deer hit you, it's fucking dead then. I gotta get that shit fixed. I told you to fill out the fucking thing so I can get the adjuster here. It's fucking five o'clock, did you fill it out? - No. - All fucking they ask you fucking this morning. You're like, I'll get to it, I'll get to it. - I'm gonna get to it. - Wait, in a little bit, I'm just gonna-- - You worried about fucking playing video games? I need the fucking adjuster here. All you fucking news staring at these screens, talking to your fucking friends online, some stupid fucking game. I need the fucking thing filled out online. - Okay. - So I can get the adjuster here. What part don't you understand? - I'll do it. - But I've been asking you all day, probably it will take you two minutes to fucking fill out. (laughing) Look at you, you wanna know-- (laughing) - Guys, really quick before I get into this last clip from him, I think this is fucking somewhat real because these kids sound so fucking douchey and fuck, but here's the thing though, like a lot of these real life situations like happen to kids like this, like they're just so fucking lazy and dumb and retarded and just they're supposed to do something and they don't get to it because they're fucking lazy and retarded. And these kids just sound like they're so goddamn entitled that they just don't give a shit, they just think that their fucking dad's gonna fucking do everything for them. - At the end of the day, you know, what is a dad gonna say, all they have to do is say, "Well, you know, thanks for everything, dad. "I'm gonna go live with mom now." You know, I don't understand, I think. But you know what it is though, the great thing is-- - Unless she's dead. I mean, we never hear anything about the mother. - No. - Yeah, whatever, yeah. I wanna hear the raging Italian mom. Oh my God, you imagine her. - Listen, go pick up your fucking laundry, your fucking cocksucker. - But I could just imagine, like the situations that happen with this shit, it sounds very true to life. So it, listen, whether it's true or not, I don't know, but whatever they're doing over there on that channel, they're making a pretty good point that it sounds like it's realistic because the fucking-- - Because it is, 'cause the old man is legitimately pissed, but there he is also getting paid. - Uncle-- (laughing) - Uncle, there you go. - Well, it's, yeah. Yeah, I mean, a situation I went through in my life was nothing to do with that, similar, but not, and after I turned 18, it was, you know, you're supposed to fill out your draft card. And I was like, I ain't filling out a fucking draft card. You have, I can't remember if it's 36 or 90 days or whatever, but apparently a notice comes in a mail, and my father opens it, which, you know, Dad, that's federal crime, you know, that's supposed to happen with a mail. - Good luck with that one. (laughing) - He always opened my mail. - Oh, no, no. - Didn't matter what it was. And, well, so I get this, he gets this notice. I get home, and he's like, do you fill out that fucking draft card? - Fuck you! - No. - No, he's like, guess what? Get in the fucking car. He drug my ass down to the fucking post office, watch me fill it out, and hand it over. And I was like, did you wake up? (laughing) Did you register to vote when you were 18? - Yeah, yeah. - So I thought the draft is automatic. Those two go in and in here. - No, back then, no, back then it worked. - Back then, it was different, yeah. - Back then, I think it was like 2008 or 2009 is when they actually made it to see if you wanted to, like, go into some type of draft thing. It was like a, yeah, that was-- - I was so young, I wouldn't know that. (laughing) - I was just over two years old over here. - Oh, no. - Yeah, no, the first time. - That was in my day, like, they actually made me fill out a fucking draft card, like, oh-- - Yeah, the first election, I voted and was in 2002. Whatever one was for Bush. - Bush, yeah, Bush, yeah. - Oh, you didn't vote for Al, you didn't vote for Al Gore? - Well, I did actually vote for Al Gore. - The inventor of the internet? - Yeah. - But, you know, it's funny, I was brought up as a Democrat. I was, you know, you and your man, Democrats were this, that, and the other, and Democrats won Southman. - That's how I was brought. - I think we all worked. - After I learned my own way, my father did not approve of it, but I started voting, you know, Republican. Then when Trump came around the first time, my father retired. The first time his entire life. - Oh, he voted Republican. Now, we're talking-- - Yeah. - Yeah. - 60 years, you know, 40 years of voting under his fucking belt. - I can't vote if you're voting. - I can't vote if you're Bill Clinton. That was the last time that he ever voted for. - Yeah, mine too. - No, well, it was not, it was. - Yeah. - Dude, and if you guys remember, like, under Clinton, this country, I mean, we were all young back then. But as far as I can remember, this country did pretty well under Clinton. - He is a raging piece of shit. - But if he would have kept his cock in his pants, I think the Democratic Party would still be doing well. - Who told you to hang out in the Oval Office and stops it into an intern? You're the president of the United States of America. You don't think that 20-year-old girl is gonna blow your cover? - He's the only president that made the Oval Office the oral office. - Mm-hmm. - Yep, that we know of. - Yeah, I'm sure JFK had his time, but those people all disappeared. - He was banging fucking Marilyn Monroe. I mean, listen, there's a fucking line. - Marilyn Monroe. - Dang, Dave, Dave. - Oh my God, dude, listen, that guy had so much tail. Did he clean the fucking bean and bat it off with a fucking-- - You know what's funny too about Marilyn Monroe is... - That guy is just a big man. - Oh, man. (laughing) - Well, in Marilyn Monroe, people used to say, Marilyn Monroe had hygiene issues. Like, she was not like-- - Really? - Like, she had a stank, yeah. She, according to people, she had a stank push. She was not really the girly girl. - That's what I thought about that. - America's sweetheart that they put her out to be. - Oh! - But, you know, I'm sure for the old presidential office, she was cleaned up. - Everyone, man. - I'll tell you. There was this whole, one time, one time, where there was an issue with the old lady and me. And she's like, "Listen, you know, "I'm on top of this all the time. "I'm not sure what you want to say this right now. "Are you--" - Yeah, fuck it, I don't care. I got a fucking fucker who was in me. But it was just, it was just, and so, I'm giving Marilyn Monroe a little bit of leeway here. Because if the old lady could slip once in six years, five years, you know, maybe she slipped once for the president. - And I can say that the lady I was with for 11 years, you know, she slipped one time and I found some, you know, Fumunda. And I was like, "Yo, what's going on here? "What the fuck?" - Yeah, she dropped a bat and grabbed some salt. - She tried, yeah, she tried telling me. It's a natural thing, it's natural. I'm like, "No, I ain't nothing natural about that. "Go home." - Yeah. (all laughing) - Yeah, I'm just gonna sit here and watch the rest of the night. (laughing) Oh, yeah, that's disgusting. - Whoa. - Oh, puke. - The stories we have on this fucking show. Guys, the Jo and Tony O'Shawo. (coughing) - They're my throat, the mirror show. - Guys, Aquavite Kombucha, it's the official sponsor of the Jo and Tony O'Shawo premium probiotic tea organic kombucha. Lie probiotics, beneficial enzymes, gluten feed, vegan and handcraft, and then the great state of wear, boogie nights, you know where it is. - Well, Joey, I can tell you all those ladies over there are pH balanced and ready to go downstairs, and that's why they're drinking their outcome by tea over there in Vermont. - Yeah, no, no, no fun, but cheese on here. Yeez, infections. Guys, so many great flavors of juice, bro. Yeah, oh my God, you got your strawberry and sage, your blueberry social, I'm drinking one right now. Hold on a second, let me get a sip. (coughing) You smell that boogie? - Tom, smell it with some peach out. - You got it, motherfucker. Fuck. Got it. It's fucking motherfucker, it knows what I'm fucking. There's cameras in here, I'm serious. - That's right ladies, for the peach, to keep it sweet. - Yep, guys, they're pledge of authenticity. The only use premium ingredients for live cultures and probiotics are developed during fermentation, not lab, manufactured. Their kombucha is always alive, vibrant, never pasteurized, and they use the latest technology to produce a non-alcoholic kombucha experience. Make sure to check them out online, guys. www.akobight.com, that's a-c-u-a-v-i-t-e-a.com. Use a promo code, Turkey. Turkey, guys, up until this Friday, you guys will get 20% off your order and free shipping. That's not even my promo code, that was the one that Emily told me to have you guys use for the weekend. - Oh, she knows you're the real turkey. - Well, there you go. And then, yeah, they will overnight ship your stuff, too, at the same time, with no charge. 20% off, overnight shipping, no charge, to get your kombucha bottles, cans, right to your doorstep, your side step, your back door, like Boogie likes it. Now, you know like this. Guys, check them out online, aakobight.com. That's a-c-u-a-v-i-t-e-a.com. Use that promo code, Turkey. Check out 20% off your order and free overnight shipping. - That is a shit load of savings, ladies and gentlemen. - That is more than your general, 10%. That's 20% off. So, you're saving at least $14 under 12 pack, plus free overnight shipping. I mean, depending on where you're at and overnight shipping is available, I mean, you're talking, that could cost up to $60. - Right, I'll do, when I got the email, I mean, I'm doctored in, but when I got the email, I went right on fucking Aakobight.T's website. I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm gonna fucking just- - Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. - Yeah, I just ordered as much as shit as I could and I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna store it in the fridge and now I'm good for the holiday season. I don't even have to fucking worry about it. But yeah, guys, if you guys wanna stay healthy during the holiday season, even if you wanna just like not drink alcohol, or if you want something good to mix it with, listen, either way, Aakobight.T's there for you. They're there to help you out. So, thank you, Aakobight.T. (applause) I got one more raging Italian dad clip here. I guess this, one of his kids went on the fucking, on his AT&T account in order to an eye watch. No, you're like, you know what I mean? Yeah, I guess the fucking father found out about it. He didn't even know that he was paying for it and he flipped the fucking- - Fucking $700 watch. - Yeah, he's like paying payments on it for like fucking like six months and then he finally realized it. He's like, why is my buck built so high? - He's like, what? - Michael, what? - I was just going to fucking phone with AT&T. Who bought a fucking eye watch? Like three fucking years ago. I'm paying fucking $16.99 a month for the last fucking three years, but the thing I called the fucking bill. Where he was like, look at the fucking bill. - Well, dude, you got me the- - Who bought the fucking eye watch? - Dude, I got that. - And why wasn't the service kid? - Dude, I got that for Christmas, like four years ago. - You know where a fucking eye watch? - You're where I go. - Where's your fucking, and then I just found out that you upgraded to a 15. - Yeah. - You just got the 12 a few years ago. - Dude, we got the 15 back in fucking drive. - What the fuck? Why did you need a 15 when you had a fucking 15? - We got the 15 cameras better. - No, it's slower. - You're just right here. - You're a photographer. You're doing fucking professional shots from fucking Rolling Stone. Why do you need a new fucking camera? A new phone. - Dude, it's way fucking smoother. - You're fucking paying more of my smooth than my ass. - Yeah, I pay 15. - Why did you smooth that? - I paid 15 dollars more. - No, it's just fucking bullshit. What is it smooth at? And look at your fucking garbage. What's fucking again? Why is all this fucking money? What are you doing all this fucking money? What are you fucking dancing at night? Up and down the fucking pole? What else fucking tips? Why do you have all these fucking money? Why is that in the fucking bank? - Do I have a positive? - Why is the fucking garbage over flowing? Why am I paying for an eye watch? And why the fuck do you upgrade to a 15? - And why the fuck is a blood pressure so high? - Four fuckers in Sunday morning. - Oh my God, dude, the minute I stood at my head. Dude, listen, I would be slathered against a fucking wall. My dad would have backed into me so fucking hard. - And my question is why these contraception birth control companies are not using this material, you know what I mean? - I don't know. I fucking got in with that shed, dude. That is too hilarious. I had to agree with you, I had to agree with you, Joe. Like if I would have ever told my father that or my mother that my ass would have been slapped so hard. - Right. - You know, slapped her right across the border. (laughing) Are these guys from like New York or New Jersey or Boston? 'Cause man, they sure sound like some people from-- - People they are from Jersey where they are. - Is that Jimmy, is that Jimmy that I hear you? Is that Jimmy? Your voice sounds familiar. - This is Jimmy, yeah. - All right, welcome. Hey, what's going on? - Hey, listen, I'm right there from Jersey, dude. - I'm closing the show, man. It's nice to hear it from you, man, but you got anything, you got anything you're promoting or doing it or you got a show going on or what's going on? - So I started my show up again, finally getting some time. I'm gonna do a after Thanksgiving show. - Okay. - So-- - On Thursday night? (horn honking) - I'm gonna do a Friday, a Friday. - Yeah, well, the Joe Antonio show was off Friday, so I might come bug you. - All right, all right. Yeah, I'm gonna do Friday around 8.30 p.m. central time. Gonna have a, who's who of a conversation? You know, just has some open talk and talk a little bit about the crazy shit that's going on with Trump. Is everybody loves to hear that about that crazy bastard and the shit he always says? I mean, he's like nonstop entertainment. It doesn't matter, like a fart. And he farts gold, I swear. - Yeah, we love him right there, yeah. - He's great. (horn honking) - We've been trying to get away from the whole politics and he's like, all right, Jimmy, listen. We'll make sure that everybody goes and checks you out. I gotta run because-- - What's the show I'm gonna call? - You take care, brother. - Yeah, well-- - What's the show called? I'm sorry, I'm taking a piss. - So the show is called House of Mystery. - House of Mystery, that's right. - House of Mystery. - It's 30 Central Time Friday. - With Mr. Nigma, Jimmy. - All right. - All right, Jimmy, man, we'll promote you, brother. - All right, brother. - Take care, man. Have a great Thanksgiving, dude, okay? - You too, brother. He ever going on, you'll be safe. - All right, you too, brother. - All right, man. There he goes, Jimmy. Gonna talk to him in a while. - I like that, dude. Yeah, I forgot about him. - I like him. Jimmy's a cool dude. Maybe the whole world did, you know. - Let me get into this. This is so fucking funny. You sent this to me today. - Oh, shit. - I'll blacking the black person while you're sitting in a diner old town, you know? Like, you go to the diner, man. This is fucking great. From Key and Peel, dude, I fucking missed that one so much. I'm gonna play this really quick while I go refill the kombucha. I got my out of ear budget, so I can listen to it. It take a listen, this is fucking great. - This was a great submission. - Any daughter? - Yeah. - Can I have a chicken fried steak with gravy and a cola? - I will have the baked beef short ribs with collard greens and throw down some of that cornbread. - All right, babe. - You know what? - Hold up a second. I'm also gonna have some of the collard greens and cornbread as well. The hooker brother up with some of them hot licks. - All right. You know what, what am I trying to front? Scratch all that. Give me some okra and some fried red snapper, and girl, you know I want some chitlins. - All right, yeah. - Y'all got ham hocks? - Of course. - Well, that's what I want. I wanna play the ham hocks, deep fried blackened and served on a bed of mustard greens. - Pig feet. I want some pig feet and four pounds of grits. And oh, oh, and you know what else? Give me a little dixie cup full of lard. All right. - I just remember what I want, a bowl of mosquitoes. None of them tiny ones either. Give me them big motherfuckers and find it down at the swamp. - Sister, could you please hook a brother up with a rusty bucket full of fish heads wrapped in a razor wire? - Don't get teeth. - Don't get teeth. - Straight out a donkey's mouth. You know what, fuck it. Any animal tooth will do. I want you to stick it in some honey glaze, fry it with fat back and serve it in an old tin coffee can. - Forget everything I say up at this point right now. Bring me some dandelion greens, a cow hip, and a dog face wrapped out a whole mess in an old evidence magazine and serve it to me in a shoe box. - Okay, I wanna platter a stork ankles an old sell-a-door, a posse spine. - And a human foot. (laughing) - Stork ankles. (laughing) - Oh my god. (laughing) Did you guys ever see the key and feel episode where they're trying to outdo each other on? I think it was either clothing in or a headwear. It was hats. - It was hats. - Oh yeah, yeah. Oh my god. - Oh my god. - And he got a little Chinese dude on his sewing machine on his head. (laughing) - I would see, you know what it is? I'd love to play that clip but like you need the fucking vision. Like the visuals, that's portion of it because, oh my god, but like yeah. But he said that I'm like, oh my god. I remember seeing this and I'm like, this is fucking great dude. (laughing) - My favorite from them were when they were the fucking movie of tennis. Take a takers and they're like, oh, you check out the Liam Neesons? Oh yeah. (laughing) - Or when they would do the collegiate fucking names for all the football, the college football things. - Those were fucking great. (laughing) Jeffrey Bensonfield, Connecticut. (laughing) Lewis. - Yeah, they would. I hated those, like it was always on Sunday night football. They would show up and like, yeah, like, Joe Johnson. University of, ugh. (laughing) - I'm so dumb dude, I thought. Yeah, 'cause most of those guys didn't even give a shit. They were like actually like trolling the whole entire time. - Phillip Kreisfield, big Patrick Disterz. (laughing) - I was like, God, those were so good. I love that. Oh shit. - Oh God, so much time that we got left. Jesus Christ. - No. - Fucking show goes by too fucking fast. - We got about 30 minutes there, buddy. - That's it? - I'm gonna get a-- - Nine, nine, nine. (laughing) - I'm sorry, that one just hit the funny bone. Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh, he's doing it. - The show did go by super quick tonight. Ah, he's a me, or just tuning in late. - Here, always late. - Nah, guys, I would be here. - Nah, you know it's better late than being pregnant. That's all I can say. - That is correct, sir. (mumbling) - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. (laughing) I forgot about this asshole. (mumbling) Oh my God. (mumbling) - So bad. Oh, this is another visual. You have to see. The audio is bad enough, buddy. (laughing) - Hey Joe, is this a-- - Joe, let me do-- - Let me do a little-- - Let me do a little-- We only have annoying minutes left. Is that the same dude that they've got the memo around that's saying, oh, we finally hired somebody to fix a brand new potential employee that is up to power and it's the employee and it's-- (laughing) I'm a tornado. (mumbling) It's the same dude, spinning around his circle. Just, oh God, it's horrible. - No, it's this guy here. - That he has a visual for. - Yeah, it's the visual. - Yeah, yeah. - It's this guy, it's this guy. I can't wait to hang myself. - Sir, I thought you live on a Friday, we're signing Gary Delabate. - If we got people who want to call in, they can call in, I don't want you to damn. It's a toll-free number. Caller in 337 area, what's your name is, caller? - Hello, how are you? - Yeah, am I right, man? What's your name, man? - Do you recognize my voice? - I don't know, who are you? - It's me, George Decade. - What's up, George? - What are you doing, man? What's going on with you? - Wrestling talk really gets my motor ready. - Yeah, no, yeah, mine too, man. My motor be running like a motorboat, boy. - My favorite wrestler of all time is an amateur and gentleman named Brad. - Huh? - Hulk Hogan has nothing got Brad. - Yeah, I know, I mean, Hulk Hogan's all right, man. - Oh, I love Brad's musculature and his throbbing pants, Pidyata. - Yeah, you probably do. But, hey, man, let's don't be doing those. He can't be fucking with that shit. - I'd like to wrestle this style of the Greeks. I fully do that. - Oh, that's my fucking game. - Every Sunday, Brad and I roll around in the bed together. The first one to get pinned and get fucked. (laughing) - Like it was to get pinned? - Well, he can fuck you. (laughing) - That's right. Do you understand about what was going on with you? - You sound kind of cute. Do you like to wrestle? - Nah, but I'll fuck you, old mama. - We can practice all the moves. - Piled driver, suplex, figure four, Goldberg spear, dig the works out. (laughing) - What the hell? - Ew. - Oh, yes, Piled drives me. (laughing) - Listen, you know, you're not understanding who you call it, stupid head. - You know, I used to be a power lifter. It's not about power, but about. - Hey, hey, hey, hey. (laughing) - Oh my God. - It's stupid. (laughing) - Fucking sour shoes. I fucking love him, dude. Oh my God. I swear I can play a whole, I can play a whole fucking goddamn fucking episode of all his shit that I have on here. It's fucking insane, it really is. - Yeah, let's, let's. - Nah. (laughing) - Ooh, what do you like? You don't like musculator? You don't want to power bottom and wrestle in bed? - I prefer your pants, piñata. (laughing) - Oh, I wanted to play this clip here, really quick, I thought. - Of course. - You know, in the thanksgiving mood here. - Oh my. - Where to park your car on Thanksgiving? Why is this a fucking thing? Where have I got to park my car? I don't know what it is. - Was it a thing? - That was a thing in my family. Like our family, like my mom had four fucking brothers and then, you know, of course there's eight kids between them and then we all have sibling. Yadda yadda yadda, then girlfriends, boyfriends. Where did you park? Where did you park? Where did you park? Where did you park? - Good. - Well, if you can move over here, 'cause they're going to be leaving to go do, yeah, fucking go. (laughing) - It's, you know what it is? Like I always like noticed. It's the people that like are, you know, always flake out early. - Yep. - You try to make them park towards the end of the driveway. - Exactly. - Yeah. - They'll be the first one there. They'll eat and then leave right away. - Yeah, they just like, you make them move their car the whole time. - Yeah, then you gotta go outside and if it's cold, I'm like, oh God, these fucking douchebags are fucking leaving again. Like, you know, Jesus Christ, I mean Christ. What the fuck? Yeah, I don't know if this is what the clip is about, but I think it's something about the city. But take a listen. - Imagine returning from your Thanksgiving getaway and finding out your car has been stolen right out of the airport parking lot. Parking lot. - Oh, this is different. Okay. All right. This is, yeah. Again, why we got to this in the beginning of the show, Boogie. This is why we don't travel for Thanksgiving. - Exactly. - My car's nicely talked in my carport where I don't have to worry about it getting stolen from some fucking heathen and it's not in an airport. - It's in the garage on blocks. So. - Yep. - Wait, Joey's got a carport. - Yeah. He's bougie. - Boogie, bitch. Really seriously? - Yeah, you don't have to do no scraping. - No fucking, he's got that remote start. He looks at the window. - Fucking loser. All right, I get it. - Fuck you! - I'm thinking he's winning. (laughing) - You guys are dicks. - I just told you you were winning, asshole. - Oh, thank you. - Imagine returning from your Thanksgiving getaway and finding out your car has been stolen right out of the airport parking lot. Parking lot car thefts at airports across the nation are on the rise. The main targets are reported to be high-end sports cars and pick up doors. At the airport in Austin, car thefts have grown by 80%. At the Seattle airport, 100%. At busy Atlanta, 301 cars have been stolen so far this year. Compare that to 95 in all of last year. Now experts say there are steps you can take to make sure your vehicle isn't stolen. What's one tip for keeping your car safe in a garage? - Don't park at the fucking airport! - Where there's a lot of foot traffic, a lot of light, people coming in and out, that will deter the thief. - Another tip. - Park it near a camera. If anything happens, you can contact the authorities and they can review the footage and try and track down the thieves. - And if you're really concerned about airport parking. - Alternative, have someone drop you at the airport. That's probably the best way to do it or take a ride share or a taxi. - This is expected to be the biggest Thanksgiving getaway ever. An estimated 80 million Americans will travel. 18.3 million of them by air. - This is Les Trent in New York. Once again, the largest Thanksgiving day parade in the nation will take place right here with an estimated two million people lining the streets. And law enforcement is pulling out all the stops to keep everyone safe. - Authorities say there is no specific actionable threat but they will be on heightened alert. Hopefully, we can all enjoy a wonderful old-fashioned Thanksgiving. - Nah, they're gonna make-- - They all hold, don't we? - Yeah, they're gonna make two gone in 60 second movies. (laughing) - Yeah, exactly. (laughing) Fucking crazy. All right, boys and girls, listen, we're ending the near and end of the show. My Baltimore Ravens, by the way, boys, are up. Let's see what the score is right now. We're playing the, it's our boss, our boss. It's the our boss, our boss. We're up 14 to 10, so go away. - Joey, why Baltimore? - Well, listen, I grew up in the Baltimore-- - What's your owner on your own? - I grew up in the Maryland, Baltimore area. Like, well, my family, I have a lot of family down there, so I used to go down there all the time for, you know, like family outings and stuff and, you know, crab bakes and all that fucking bullshit. - Plus, Cal Ripken Jr. kicked ass, so. - Yeah, and listen, I love, I love Maryland, I love Delaware, it's just, it's my, it's my, my hymn. I love it. (burps) - Got it, thank you. - There you go. - Wow. - That was pronounced. - I see Airdog in here, Airdog, what's up, brother? - Aaron, holy shit. - Hey, yeah. - Hey, Meow. - Hey, Meow. - Hi, guys, I just wanted to check in before the show and did, and say, "Hakuna Matata." - "Hakuna Matata." - Yes, sir. - ♪ What a wonderful phrase. ♪ - Yeah. - What a wonderful show you guys did have. I only caught the letter of Jimbrish, but yeah. - Jimbrish. - You had my head. - The Renial Golds. - And, yeah, that's why, that's why I do this show, because you guys are so spontaneous and you make a really head spin. - Thank you. - Yeah. - Well, maybe if you were here two hours ago, you would have been able to be a part of it. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Unfortunately, you know what? I mean, I gotta pay the bills, you know? So, but you know-- - I prefer midget spinners over head spinners, then. (laughing) - I concur. - Well, you have something to bake with. - Oh, yeah. - Whoa, whoa. - You had sex with midget? (laughing) - Yeah, it's on the list. - We have a bucket list. - We're actively looking. Can you actually put one under my Christmas tree? (laughing) - That's on your Christmas list. And I'll make it a priority. Yeah, absolutely. - Speaking of priorities. - Speaking of priorities. - Hey, Aaron. - I'm even gonna set it up like where it's a gift card and you have to redeem with her. I'm even gonna put it like this. (laughing) - Yeah, I gotta scan a QR code and it just like drops out of the sky. - It comes down by chimney. - Yeah. - I'm gonna come down her chimney. That's all works out. - And then it's gonna elk him and his-- - Or his. - And his gonna break your legs. (laughing) - All right, listen, boys. We're running out of time, air dog. Nice to hear from you. - We're getting made by midget spinners for Christmas. (laughing) - Love you guys. Your dog's gonna put that in the works. All right, man, we'll see you Wednesday. Come back for Wednesday. Got a big show Wednesday. - Probably made pure tip. - Yes, sir. All right, guys. We're gonna get out of here for the night. Little Jimmy Vaughn to get us out of here. Little boots. - Take a deep. - All right. ♪ Old town, good job tonight ♪ ♪ Old town ♪ ♪ I got my boy ♪ ♪ Buggy night ♪ ♪ She's here ♪ - Well, I'm not here. ♪ I'm gone ♪ ♪ And I'll see you on Wednesday, yeah ♪ ♪ I'm gonna sing ♪ ♪ 'Cause I don't know what to do ♪ ♪ I love you guys and we'll see you on Wednesday night ♪ ♪ Hey now ♪ - Hey now. - Hi boys. ♪ We're talking about Wednesday night ♪ ♪ Oh, we're doin' it ♪ ♪ We got the top 10 jokes ♪ ♪ Full holiday night ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ In all the douchebags goin' to the bar ♪ ♪ Oh, if you don't crash your motherfucking car ♪ ♪ 'Cause if you crash your car ♪ ♪ You won't be able to eat the turkey, yeah ♪ ♪ 'Cause you're dead, yeah ♪ ♪ You're dead, oh thanks givin' evening, yeah ♪ ♪ No apple pie ♪ ♪ And no pumpkin pie ♪ ♪ No pumpkin pie ♪ ♪ No stuffing ♪ ♪ The only stuffing you're gonna get is in your body ♪ ♪ Because you're gonna be at the, yeah ♪ - The morgue. - And the morgue. - All right boys, we'll see you guys on Wednesday night. I love you later. (upbeat music) ♪ If you don't want that stuffing ♪