LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE

RED FLAG OR NOT? LET’S TALK ABOUT IT

Today’s episode is for shits and giggles, that being said take it with a grain of salt. This week we decided to talk about red flags, and give our own opinions on what is and isn’t flying with us in the 2024 dating scene. From paying for dinners to not having their license… what do we want?? let’s find out

💋Liv & Meg

Instagram & Tiktok: @livinourcrazylife

New episode every Wednesday

Youtube: @livinourcrazylifee https://youtu.be/PxGFktaLt6Y?si=NVafDkevBT5cQ9il

Instagram: @livinourcrazylife https://www.instagram.com/livinourcrazylife/profilecard/?igsh=MXZ3djJ6Y2plbDJjbQ==

Megan’s instagram: @watson.04

Olivia’s instagram: @olivialnguyen

Duration:: 36m
Broadcast on:: 04 Dec 2024
Audio Format:: other

Hey guys, welcome back to another week of living our crazy life podcast. It's Olivia and Megan. Let's go through some red flags, okay? I'm here to just yip yap and chat today. So we're gonna it's an exciting it is podcast. We're gonna be reading off a bunch of red flags. Let's just get right into it. Yeah, and we're gonna talk about it. Take this with a grain of salt. It's just for fun and giggles for shits and giggles for SMGs because we're also 20 year old single women. So we're just saying what what shit would pass with us and what what the fuck is not flying. And this being said like don't take it so seriously. Obviously our opinions are gonna change as we get older. Let's get into it. Okay, number one, doesn't offer to pay on the first date. I'm gonna have to say red flag. I'm gonna have to say I'm just saying you should be paying for the first day, especially the first date. Yeah, I'm not actually going to be gentle about this anymore because the thing is there's a lot of debate about this whole 50/50 thing and like yes, I would totally pay for myself. However, that's not someone that would ever see me again or be able to go on a date with me again. Just because that shows like it's not giving man. It's not giving man. It's giving like you don't really care. It's giving like you're not firm in your own masculinity because a man would want to pay and provide for me. You know what I mean? For me, that's a red flag. I think you should. I think you should want to as well. I took the time to get ready. I met you here. Honestly, you asked me out. The least you can do is pay like I just don't know how you would feel. If I was a man, I would not feel very secure myself. If the I said, oh, can I get the bill and can I get it split? Yeah. And even if even if you're not interested in seeing me again, you know what I mean? Like you should still be covering the bill. I just feel like it's the principle. It is the principle when it became so normalized to be like, oh, it's a 50/50. What the fuck happened to Chivalry, man? I thought that the men, men provide and women, you know, you provide when they provide what they provide you with. I'm just saying. Yeah. So yeah, I think that's a red flag, red flag. Okay. Constantly talks about his exes. Red flag, red flag. I think all these are going to be red flags. I think we're just going to explain why we think it's a red flag. That is definitely a red flag. I am not here to just, you know, it's okay if you want to talk. If you want a therapist, go and pay the hourly rate because I am not that. It's okay if you want to talk about them, you know, like maybe once it's going to cross pass, but like if you're constantly bringing up your ex and like, it's like, why are they bringing up their ex to like, are they saying they miss their ex? Right. Number one, if you're still in love with your ex, just say that and you should not be here. Number two, if you're talking your ex, obviously, you're either still in love with her or like you need to go to therapy and get healed because you can't be carrying that into new situations. Also, I don't want to hear about your ex. I don't want to talk about mine either. So like, can we, if you're going out with someone, don't you want to learn about them and hang out with them, not talk about the past? Like, no. That's too much. I feel like you just say if you were in a past relationship and leave it at that. Exactly. You don't need to be slandering on your ex. No, talking your ex to me, that feels so cheap and that makes me never want to speak to you again because even like, that's your side of the story and I actually don't know the story and you're trying to get me on your side and thinking that she's a bad person. God forbid what you're going to say about me after this ends. You know what I mean? That's so dirty to say red flag. Red flag, red flag for sure. Frequently checks his phone during a date. Again, red flag. You should never be on your phone when you're on a date. I just feel like I you're wasting my time and like, why am I here? You're wasting my time. You're making me feel like I'm worthless. So I like a conversation. I like, maybe we can just even stare at each other. We don't know. It's just like not your phone. Okay? No, you like, just say you would rather be anywhere else than with me. Also, what is what is the really to do on your phone, right? There's 24 hours in a day. You can be on your phone 23 hours out of the day, but the one hour you're with me, you can pay attention to me. It makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel worthless. It's dumb as fuck. Don't ask me to go somewhere. If all you're going to do is be on your phone. Check it once twice. I understand like notifications coming through. Some people are doing shit, but should you be there scrolling on Instagram on your phone or texting other people when you're in my presence? No, to be honest, I think it's disrespectful. What are you doing? If a man pulls out his phone and is on his phone the whole day? Yes. Actually, this happened to me before. I'm not even going to lie. This happened to me not that long ago. And I didn't even say anything. And I actually should have. I should have said, Hey, like I'm right here, but I said, I literally sat there. And I was just thinking like, number one, you're never seeing me again. And number two, like, I feel bad for you. Yeah, this happened to me. So I like to play jokes because I just take things lightheartedly. And I just sent them a message saying hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're on your phone, watch that notification pop on the top corner. I'm right in front of you. Yeah, the phone was put down. So that's all I have to say. Exactly. Okay. Next constantly talks about himself. That's a medium. It depends. I mean, I know that the way it's suggesting it and like, that's a red flag to constantly be boasting yourself up, all this, whatever, you know, it depends how you're talking about yourself. Exactly. It depends. We shouldn't be sitting here the whole time though, talking about just you. No, that also goes to say like, you should be asking me questions. I should be asking you questions. And, you know, not just like, if it's all about you, no, and if it's all about your successes and how you're this thing and all this, it's like, oh, but also this isn't even just like, imagine you continue to go out with this person. And literally, all they talk about is themselves and what's going on in their life. Like, how fucking boring is that to be around? Yeah. Only text late at night. Oh, honey. If he's doing that for you, you mean nothing, but first X. So be texting late at night. He's and I'm looking for a relationship. He's just going to have to go. Yeah, because he is not looking for a relationship. He's looking for that late night extravaganza. Yeah, again, wasting my time. That's a waste of time because also throughout your day, you know, you can be busy and you can check in at the end of the day, but that's not you're never that busy. I know you were all delusional thinking, oh, but they might be just busy with their never that busy. You can always make time to send a quick text or even just say like, Hey, I have a lot going on today. Like, I'll speak to you later, but say you're getting that text at 10 p.m. every night. Hey, how was your day? They don't give a shit about your day. They want to know if you can come and get in their bed. Like avoids introducing you to friends and family. I actually think that is a red flag. If you're getting serious and you don't want me to meet your family and like, you don't want me around your friends, I, my feelings would be hurt. I feel like I would want to meet your family and also like, I would want to meet your friends. Yeah. I don't know about this one. Oh my God, because you're toxic. No, what? I don't know about this one because because I don't, I don't, this is so tricky because like, I don't know. I don't take it as a way. I know that people have boundaries in their life. I don't take it as if it's something against me. Like, how do I know your relationship with your family? Like, to be honest, at this stage of my life, you're not meeting my family either because I'm not saying ever if I was getting married to you, like, you'll probably meet my family. Yeah, but in, in the dating field, I mean, I don't know. I don't know, but also friends is like a tricky situation because you're definitely going to know my friend. Like, if we're dating, you're going to know, like, hello, she's always with me. You're going to know who my friends are. If I'm hiding my friends from you and, you know, not even like introducing you to anybody, I'm probably not that serious about you, especially when it comes to family. Like, if I don't, if I introduce you to my family, we're definitely getting married. So, yeah, friends, I mean, my friends always with me. So, you're going to know who my friends are. Like, don't be weird and start hanging out with them when I'm not there. Like, let's not be crossing boundaries over here. But yeah, my feelings will probably be heard if, like, we were actually seeing each other for a good, like, six months, and like, it was like getting serious and like, if they had, like, a good relationship with their parents, then yeah, I should be introduced to your parents. But I feel like that doesn't even cross my mind. Like, that wouldn't even cross my mind to like, let me hold my hand, your hand, while I say this, you're not ready to date. That's not, you're right, actually. But I feel like that wouldn't even cross my mind for you to like, for me to invite you out with my friends or for me to invite you out with my family. And I would, it wouldn't cross my mind. Like, it wouldn't ever, like, raise a flag in my head and be like, Hey, why aren't I meeting your friends or family? Like, I don't know. I don't know. I never even thought about that before. I guess it's a red flag. Yeah, that's a red flag. Russia's physical intimacy. Red flag. Red flag. Red, red, red, red, red. That's probably the reddest of the flags. The rushing, the rushing intimacy. So like, if you're not ready or, or like, you just started, no, no, I didn't see like that either. But that's, that's one side of it. Like, even if you're just not ready, but say you just started dating and like the first date, they want to be like, Hey, want to come inside or the second day, like want to come in and do whatever. Or they're like, just shows me where your priorities are. See, that just shows where your priorities are. And I take that as a red flag. I don't take that as like, end all be all, but I see, I see what you want. And it's noted very clearly. And I would back off a little bit, to be honest. Here's my thing. I think I'm just going to say it. I think that you should not be having sex on the first time. Not if you want something there. And I think that, but I also think that women do like some women like physical touch. And I think that physical touch is okay. And I think that for it to be a romantic relationship, in my opinion, I do believe there should be some sort of romantic touch flirting is going on. That doesn't mean you're swallowing tongues down each other's throat. That's a yuck. And I don't think that you'll, I feel like you'll know when it's the time to make that move, I don't think. Yeah. And I feel like you'll also know the first night. No, and I also feel, especially if you, if you wanted to be something. And I also think you can kind of sense out people's intentions along that ride. Like, if you feel like someone's rushing or someone's being pressured about it, like, that's going to make me say no immediately, just because why are you in such a rush? Like, you just want to get it over with get what you want and leave like that for me is a no. Again, wasting my time. That's a waste of time. You're wasting my time. Especially if you have not provided me any reason to believe you want something else or whatever, like, nah, nah, if you haven't provided me anything, you know, and by anything, I mean, like love and security. Like, if you haven't provided me a feeling of it actually being something, and that's what you want. And you can't provide that on the first date, then you get nothing. You haven't shown me that it's, it's a safe space for me. So no, never plans dates or like, asks you to hang out. Like, you're always the first one. Red flag, because he doesn't want to see you. Biggest red flag out there. If they are not putting in any effort, like, that's a huge red flag that they don't, they don't like you. Okay, I hate to say that, but it's true. Yeah, if they're not at least even asking you to do something, they don't want to see you. They don't care. They, their time is being filled with something else or somebody else. And that's, that's the truth of the matter. But I will say though, sometimes I have people asking me to do things and I'm just not available or I'm just not, I'm not around and busy. I'm not in the mood, or I just, I just can't make it work for some reason. And like, yes, sometimes I can cancel on somebody a consecutive amount of times. And that is an issue. You know, you shouldn't really be making plans, but if someone's consecutively asking you for plans and you're not able to do it, like, I, I do understand that. Okay, you're just trying to cover your eyes. Because it's a two way thing. It's, you know, that you're not going to go and see that guy. Let's be real. Okay, let's not sit here and say that. That's not, it's like, no, make, come on, you're lying to them. What are you talking about? If you cancel on them every single time and you never reach out, like you, they reach out to you and you're busy that time, you're not making another suggestion to hang out another time. You say it and then it never happens. Like, it's a complicated. It's complicated. It is complicated about it. Either you want to see me or you don't. And that's just, yes, that's how I feel for other people, but not for me. I do. I just didn't like the way I looked that week. And so I don't want to see them. There's your answer right there. You didn't like the way you looked. It's not about a deeper level. It's you didn't like that. That's what I'm saying right now. Listen, it's like, it's different. It depends on the situation between the people and, and what you want. I just think communication is important. If you're not able to see someone, if you're not able to see someone, but you still want to see them in future, communicate that. But if someone is just canceling and canceling and canceling and they're not communicating with you or setting up other days, then yes, they don't want to see you. And I agree. This isn't come to canceling, Megan. This is about them networking the plans for dates or anything. Oh, canceling. Okay. So dismisses your interest. That's a huge one for me. That is a huge red flag. Yeah. That goes to say like, they don't care. Again, you're wasting my time. No, you know what's crazy? Dismissing interest goes hand in hand with being too much for somebody. I got told, I got told that, that how can you always have to be so deep? Like, can't you just like, you're too much? Can't you just like, be easier? And I like took a big step back because I just whoa, whoa. That's probably one of the most hurtful things you can say to me because I've worked a long time to be who I am today. And I will never make myself less for somebody else. But it actually makes you feel very appreciated when a guy is interested in you when they're asking questions when they want to know things about you. And you feel special. You feel good. So yeah, that's that's a red flag. Yeah, whatever she said is a red flag. Ooh, takes forever to reply that apologies with excuses. I'm just going to be honest with you. Okay, it is a red flag because I do this to people that I am not interested in. I will look, if I'm interested in you, I know your texts came through and I'm working on a response. Maybe that's why I'm taking a while to respond. But if I'm not interested in you, it will take me five days. But I will say, I will say, because sometimes I do respond in my head and I swear on everything I actually do. Yeah, I will respond in my head. And then I actually thought I messaged you. That happens. But for the most part, like I do see your message come through. And if I'm not responding and it takes me like five days, I'm not interested in you. That's true. That's the truth of the matter. That is the truth of the matter. Both ways, what you give them, what you get is someone's not you know, when someone's putting in the effort, that's that's a zero effort move. And you should know that yeah, exactly, someone's not reaching out to you. It's because they don't want to someone's not asking you to hang out because they don't want to. And like someone doesn't answer your texts in five days, or someone doesn't answer your texts till hours later and they go, Hey, sorry, with some bullshit excuse that you that you pull out of your back pocket. And yeah, I also know about this because sometimes it happens like stupid. This is a weird one, but breaks about money without spending it on you. Oh, for me, red flag, because you could have just shot up, you could have just said nothing. Obviously, you want this image of yourself to be this high and mighty like provider man. And the thing is then provide, right? Because a real man that has money or a real person that wants to provide for you or give you stuff, like they'll just do it. They're not, they're not taking pictures and not posting about it. They're not saying they're going to do something without doing it. That is the worst thing in the entire world. And the biggest red flag to me is, is saying you're going to do something and not doing it. It's not keeping your word because exactly because you could have just shut up, you could have just said nothing, but instead you wanted to build it into something and like, I believe you and I take your word for things until you show me that I can't trust you and that I can't take your word for face value. So, no, like, no, that's disgusting and that's a red flag. Also, why do you need to be so like, money, like, what are you trying to get? What are you trying to get for me? Complains about doing nice things for you. That's crazy because complaints about doing nice things for you. Oh, don't worry. Don't worry, babe. You'll never have to worry about doing another nice thing for me again because I'm walking out. That's so crazy. That don't do it then. Right. If it's such a hassle for you, don't do it. I would look at you and I would be like, just drop me off. Like, I know you're doing this nice thing by dropping me to my house to just stop the car right here and let me. Yeah, I'll walk my cell phone then if it's such a hassle for you. No way. I love you, babe. Move on to the next. Wow. Invites you over instead of going out consistently. Oh, honestly, red flag. Yeah. For me, that's a red flag because when you date someone, you get comfortable. We've talked about this before and you kind of turn into like a grandma and whatever. The thing is, you're dating someone. We're 20 years old. We have, what, 80 years, 60 years, whatever, to be at home doing nothing. You know what I mean? Like, you could watch a movie any day. If consecutively, you don't want to go out and do something and it's not about the money. Like, sometimes you just can't afford things, but then like, let's go for a walk outside. Let's go do free things because like, that makes me feel used. That makes me feel cheap. It makes me feel like you think that I'm a cop out and I'm an easy thing. I don't want to just sit on your bed. I don't want to send your bed. I feel like shit trapped up in your castle. Like, hang out at the house sometimes, but like, I would rather go out inside and do something. Yeah. And then you go to their house after or you, you know what I mean? Like, nah. Yeah. I don't know. No, not really want. No. No. Also, there's nothing to do there. You know what I mean? Like, there's always so much time you can spend somewhere. It doesn't open doors. That's not a red flag for me. No, I don't think it's a red flag. That's not a red flag at all. Like, I mean, basic manners. I mean, you should hold the door open for somebody, like even a random person. But like, I'm talking like, the front, I have a note. You don't need to open the car door for me. I know how to open a car door that doesn't show me anything. Like, opening the car door is nothing for like, I mean, it's okay. Like, I don't know. It's a, it's a nice thoughtful gesture. However, definitely not necessary and not a red flag. If you don't do that, in my opinion, follows mostly woman on social media. Oh, like all the influencers and the, you know, like, just any woman, not just influencers, like, frightened woman, stuff like that. I have to be completely honest with this one. I don't give a shit. I can understand why people would care if you were dating someone and they followed girls, and that's all that's on their page. Like, I could understand why. But the thing for me is like, social media is not real. And I understand that. It's the actions that are taken behind that. Exactly. Like if you are constantly reaching out to these women or like, I don't know, I just think you don't need to be liking other women's photos when you have a woman at home. Like, it's just the matter of respect over here. Like, I don't know, you don't need to be, I don't think you need to be, if they really liked you, they're not going to be in that many woman's Instagram. Like, that's not really necessary. So, I don't know. I guess a little red flag, but it's like, it's just how it just depends how they're moving with it. Yeah. Plus, like, I'm not going to go after a man that's following just woman. That's a red flag. Like, if you are just following all women, you're probably sleeping with all them at one point in time. So only talks about his future, not our future. Oh, that kind of goes, that kind of goes with guys who are always talking about things outside of you. Like, oh, I'm going here, I'm moving here, I'm doing this and that. It's like, it just depends how serious we are. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if that's really a red flag. I just think that he, at the end of the day, he's his own person. So, you can have your own future. Sure. But like, if you don't see me, your future just tell me something. Just end it now, exactly. There's no need to waste time. Yeah, I think that's however you want to take it. But I agree, because I don't pause my life for you. If I had plans and I met you, I'm not changing my plans strictly because of you. So I don't expect you to change your plans because of me. So no, for me, it's not a red flag. But it, yeah, refuses to define the relationship early on. I almost think it's a red flag to define the relationship early on. Yeah, I am a person that likes to go with the flow. And I don't think everything has to be labeled in so serious. A label means nothing. And I just think that when you take it where it goes, if it's meant to happen, it will happen. If it's not, it won't. Like, they don't need to be like, "Oh, we're a girlfriend boyfriend." You don't go into something thinking like, "He's the one." You know, like, it's not like, "Oh, I want something serious right off the bat." It's like, take it where it goes type of thing. So yeah, no, I don't think that's a red flag. You neither. Who acts rude or condescending to other people. Yeah, red flag. And that's also disgusting to me. I don't want to be around someone's room. I will never talk to you again. No. That's unfortunate for you. If you talk down on people, I don't even want to be in your presence. Because number one, I feel embarrassed for you. If we're out in public and you're being rude to service workers and other people or just making comments at girls and stuff like that, like, I just, I feel embarrassed for you because, and I feel like I have to apologize on your behalf, and you're a man. You should be capable of, of conducting yourself. So no, because that's just embarrassing for me to be around you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No. Tells you how to dress. Why are we, no. Like, you're not my mom. Like, you're not five. No. I don't like that. I don't necessarily think it's a red flag. I don't like that, though. You should not be telling me what I can and cannot do. And if I have respect for you in this relationship, I'm not going to be going out naked and doing whatever. You know what I mean? But I can wear what I want to wear and still have respect for my relationship. So just keep that in mind because it's not really your place to tell me what I'm allowed to wear and what I'm not allowed to wear. It's my own choice whether or not I have respect for you. And whether or not I have respect for myself. Complains about the bill or price of things. Mm-hmm. I don't know if that's a red flag. I just think that it goes with complaining. If you're complaining all the time, I don't know what the point of complaining all the time is. If money's an issue, then we don't have to go and do anything to money. Exactly. And I just think that if you brought me somewhere and you knew you didn't want to be with the bill, I just don't know why you're complaining after that. I don't know why exactly. I don't know why you're complaining after the fact. If you knew you didn't want to, then you shouldn't have done that. You know what I mean? You didn't want to buy. But also, what are you supposed to do about it? If you're sitting here complaining, I want to have to pay for dinner. Why do you always have to do this? It's like me? You asked me. He can't believe it. I'll imagine he buys you a necklace and then he can't believe it. Why did you buy one, then? Like, why are you complaining? They just take it back. Like, I don't want it anymore. I'll start probably crying and then just like never talk to you again. Like, imagine he buys you like something like you. Why is that even a red flag out there? You know, imagine you go out for a date and he's like, "Jesus, having a girlfriend, like, I have to pay for food. Like, I have to pay for a date? Like, why are you dating that? Like, go be single and buy your own food." No, that's just going to have to be a pass. Oh, tries to isolate you. Well, isolating, that can turn so ugly and so dangerous because you shouldn't want your partner. Okay, isolation from outside things is very lonely and it makes you sad, right? Like, it makes you sad to be by yourself and to have no support from outside things. And so why would you want your partner to go through that and feel that? And isolation is losing a lot of people. That sucks. Like, that hurts. So why would you want that for your partner? And also, when you take everything away from someone or force somebody into having nothing else, but you as the only option, they can't see outside of that original picture. Like, genuinely, they can't see a single thing outside of you. And that's so dangerous because they don't know if what you're saying is true. They don't know if the way they're being treated is right. And it just leads to so many dangerous things. So for me, no, that's a red flag. And that's not something that would ever fly for me. No. overly flirtatious with your friends. Honey. You've got to go. You've got to go. You've got that to me. You start playing with my friend. Number one, if my friend's fighting, no, all around, like, that makes me sick. So honestly, that is a red flag. That is a red flag. That's definitely a red flag. Being friendly, I would like you to be friendly with my friends if we're going out together and everything like that. But we're not flirting. But we're not flirting. We're definitely not flirting because no, we're not flirting. Like, how many people could you possibly want at the same time? And like, why do you have to pick from like the same circle? Like, that's just so hurtful. And then I don't want you around my friends because it makes me feel weird. And then I come off as the bad person. But really, it's like, why are you doing that? We're not flirting over here with my friends. No. And it's not from insecurity. It's simply from like, why the fuck are you doing that? Check out other women. I think for men, it's, and women, half of it is human nature. It's definitely fine to look at someone and acknowledge their beauty or their handsomeness. I definitely think that's like normal human nature thing. If we're passing every single person in the mall and you have to do a double take to see how fat their ass is, like, uh, I'm going to start feeling like a little bit shitty. So for me, it's going to be like, I'm on middle ground, you know, I'm on middle ground on that because I understand human nature, but also you don't have to go above and beyond. You don't have to check out every person. You don't have to comment on the way people look. That's how you make your girlfriend feel ugly and, and like shit. Again, yeah, again, it's just the actions that go behind it. Like, of course, you're going to think other people are attractive, but we're not going to be acting on that attraction. It's right. So yeah, probably for the best to just keep those thoughts inside. I think that you should want to compliment your significant other. And I also think that this goes both ways, not just for men, but telling them it could be physical or like not physical, like could be like, I don't know, other comments, their mindset, their kindness. I feel like any type of comment you should be giving to your significant other. What I see a lot is like, I'm not even convinced that half of the people that are dating even like their partner, like, I'm not even convinced because you should be, you like your partner. Yeah, you like them as a person. That's why you're with them. You, you should like the person they are, you should like all these different things about them. And you should compliment them on that makes them feel good, especially like guys rarely get compliments, right? So as a girl, you should, you should think your man is handsome, you should think he's smart, you should think he's nice, you should think he's everything. And that's why you want to be with him. And you should tell him those things. Same with a girl, like, I want to be told that I'm pretty, I want to be told that all these nice things you think about me. You know what I mean? Like, it's just a nice thing to hear. Definitely. Especially, this is just on the side note, especially if you're never giving your girlfriend a compliment, but you're checking out other people's asses in public and you're doing like 360 stairs on this, I'm just thinking like, I don't really see how that goes hand in hand. It doesn't have a license. To me, it's going to be a red flag. And I mean this with the most like respect to people that don't have a license. It's just like, I drive and okay, this is, I'm just gonna sound like a bitch. And I don't mean to. I know there might be circumstances I don't have, but I mean, like, you're in your turn. No, but also how are you going to be should have your license. Like, so yeah, for me, um, driving is a, driving is a big one for me. Like, you have to be knowing the roads too. Like, you have to know, yeah, I'm just gonna sound like a bitch. But driving for me is important. I'm just gonna shut up. Yeah, I think it's a red flag. I think it's a red flag too, because number one, you're exactly right. I drive. We both drive. We both also are pretty aggressive drivers. So if I, if I'm driving your seat and you're in the passenger seat and you're afraid of the way I drive or you're not understanding why I'm like, upset with the person in front of me because you don't understand the rules of the road is like, I feel like you should kind of feel emasculated. And I don't mean that in like, no, yeah, you're exactly right. I'm just gonna sound like a bitch about this because I drive. I think the way a man drives is so attractive and you drive with your knee. Nevermind. That's too specific. I like a man on the roads who's driving and whipping the car around. Okay. I love it. Because that's how I drive. And so exactly. If, if we're going on a date and you're not saying, like, I'm coming to pick you up, you're saying, let's go walk to the date that I'm not even trying to feel like it's fine. It's not fine for me, though, because if a 16 year old can drive, you should be driving to your 25 years old. You know what I mean? But you know, it's not even, you don't have to have a car in your exact possession. Like things happen sometimes, whatever, but like you have to know how to drive. No, it's a license. Yeah. Like you're telling me, you were 16, you were 17, you were 18, you were 19, you were 20 and not even once it across your mind to go in and get your license test. Okay. Attraction. Yeah. When a guy knows how to drive, that is so attractive. Like, but I'm talking like not like just the typical, I'm talking like to work that car. It's like driving like. Try us to check your phone like wants to know your path. No, that goes to the old locations. I think that's a huge red flag. You don't need to have my, no, this is trust, right? Like you don't need to have my location. You don't need to check if you check my phone, like you're weird, like I'm not doing anything. So like it's just like have some trust. Like I don't want to check your phone. No, that's my business. I will never ever check your phone because quite frankly, I don't care. I honestly don't care. I don't want it. I don't want like that's just so out of boundaries. I think going secretly sneaking through people's things is a disgusting character trait in you and just don't check mine. Like that's, that's such an invasion. I have so much stuff on my phone and it's not for your eyes. I don't care how close we are, how many years we've been dating. I don't care if we've been married 20 years. You do not go through my stuff without an invitation. It's not about, it's not about, I'm not hiding anything on my phone. It's not about that like if I say like, oh go on my phone to change the music. Yeah, go on my phone and change the music. It's not, it's not like a serious like I'm like hiding my, no, have a other 3000 boyfriends on there. It's just, as a matter of fact, like, I don't know, like would you go through someone's bag? No, right? Like it's just, you're reading someone's journal, someone's house. Like there's things down here that I like to keep private in my notes, right? So but like, you, but also like a man, like you shouldn't be like, you have your phone here and then they're like every time they come around, they're like hiding their phone. Like that's giving like your, yeah, that's giving you have something to hide. So that's an issue. My phone could be laying here and it's great. Like it's, it's just, you never reach for my phone. Also, if I'm over here, we've talked about this because there's, there's weirdos, okay? And like I'm texting, I'm texting and I see someone eyeing my phone down. Like I just, it's not that I'm hiding anything. If I turn my phone, it's just like, what? It's like an invasion. I don't like you looking at my stuff. I feel weird. Like, why are you trying to look at my stuff? I don't like that. I have nothing to hide, but it is not your place to look through my stuff. That's weird as hell. No. Yeah. This prioritizes work over you. See, I have no place to say anything because sometimes I will prioritize work over you. And it's not, I just feel like when it's the right partner for me, we will understand that sometimes work comes first and you should be supporting each other. I don't think it's a red flag. I just think that know your place. Like, I don't know. Like, obviously make alone time, make friend time, make work time. Obviously, when you get with somebody, you're going to know if they're, you know, how much they work, what they work. And it's like, sometimes work comes first. Like, I completely agree. Uh, make time for things, but also hate to say it. I am the type to put my own stuff first because, uh, uh, it depends on the person. Yeah. So never mind. Just, yeah, I agree. Uh, yeah. That was fun. That was, that was funny to think of. Like some of these, I didn't, I've never even thought of before, but now reading them out loud. I'm like, ooh, no. So yeah, some are red flags for sure. Yeah. Most of them, to be honest. So, and if you're doing these things, let's get a quick chicken change on those. Okay. Yes. But also girls, girls can be doing these same red flags and stuff. So it's not, well, these are just dating red flags. So just let me shut up. Um, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks for, uh, listening. Let us know what, if you thought of those red flags or not. Okay, guys. We'll see you next Wednesday. Have a good week. Bye.