(speaking in foreign language) - Good, also get two ancestry service kits for only $99 at 23 and me, you haven't done one of those yet? - 23 and me, no because my parents convinced me that that's selling your DNA to the government. Which like, like do they not already have it? - Surely they have it. - We're gonna be the generation of like, oh, okay, well this is the new norm because we totally all did 23 and me. But like if everybody sold their DNA to the government, like I don't wanna not have done that, you know? - Yeah. - 'Cause what everybody's gonna have a clone. Everyone's gonna have a clone except me. - I think I have new relatives too. Oh my God, get this. - Could you, really quick, could you imagine? - I have seven new DNA relatives. - Yeah, 'cause it's all your clones from selling your DNA to the government. Can you imagine everybody, yeah, it's all your clones, they have to add that to your family tree. Can you imagine, I'll just start over from the beginning of this. (upbeat music) - Could you imagine everybody had done 23 and me or like one way or another had sold their government, or sold their DNA to the government? Government had gotten access to their DNA in like 10 years. Everybody has a clone, but you that you're being really smart by not participating in any of the DNA sales of your own DNA. - You'd just be still left out without your clone. - Like everyone's going to the movies or the park with their clone and like I'm sitting at home with my finger in my ass. - But it could also be like a-- - Like my clone could have a finger in my ass. - It could be a doodle-bob situation, like evil. - Yeah, everyone's really worried about the clones or like the robots really killing us and stuff, and it's like valid, but like, why does it always have to be fear mongering? - What if our clones really were just like us with like good intentions too? And what if they're scared of us? What if our clones are scared of us? - I would be fine with a clone as long as it looked exactly like me, but if it's an inch prettier, it will have to be put down. - Death to clones. - I've always like my biggest nightmare has been having a sister closer to my age. - Yeah. - Yeah, thank God. My sister is eight years younger than me. - I would love to have a twin. - I want a twin brother, but honestly like no is less than two years younger than me. Once we got older, it was kind of like twins. - Yeah, two years is pretty specific. Your mom must have been pregnant like right off the bat after getting you out. - Honestly, almost. - Yeah. - Like a, like a, not even a year after. Almost a little over a year. - Like that's like me getting upgraded again to the middle seat at Delta. Like you forget how horrible it was and then you do it again. - I don't know. I don't get. - What are you doing over there? - I'm trying. I'm resetting my passport for 23 and me. - Obviously I have to do that right now. - Do you think maybe. - Obviously I have to do that. No, obviously I can't. Obviously I set it right now. - I'll continue talking about how I could see, if I had a clone and it looked exactly like me, I'd be like, I'd be able to see finally like, here's all the things wrong with your body. Now we can hone in on them. - Hone in. - I feel like it's because I've only seen myself and I don't know how to perceive myself in the way I look and the way I act because it's just from people telling me and getting DMs like, you look like this person or this thing. - It's so scary, you'll never be able to see yourself through another person's eyes. - And then I see pictures of myself and it's like, fago, fago, death, fago, jail, you know? But it's a lot of times people are like, what are you talking about? That's a good photo, you should post that. But hindsight's 50/50. Even foresight's 50/50. I don't have good foresight either. - Yes you do, you have 2020. - No, they took my foresight during the circumcision. - Connor. - That's funny, right? Like kind of? Maybe there's something there. - I don't even get it. Oh, foreskin. - Yeah, there you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, open up the schools. Well, our YouTube video did come out now last week. This is the day that it came out, just so you know. - Yeah, we actually recorded the episode that you saw last week. - Yesterday. - Yesterday. So this is yesterday for, this is tomorrow. This is tomorrow for us. It's today for us. Like, what are we talking about? Today is today. - But it's also last week. - Now it's last week. How's the video doing? Can we just look? - I think it just hit the charts. - Two hours ago. Well, anyways, it is out and it was really fun. - 8.8, would you believe it? - No, I wouldn't believe it unless I saw it. But we would love for you to hop over. I mean, now, like, talk about hindsight. Now we'll be looking back a week from now and we're listening to this episode. And it will be-- - And it'll have like 6.8 million. - We'll be billionaires by then. - Yeah, and we'll have 100 subscribers. - 100K subscribers. - We'll probably have 250K subscribers. - Holy. - Yeah, and I'll be a man with a black. - A black? - A black. - What? - What? - A black. - A black. - A black is what I said. A black. - A black. - Yeah, we're gonna have 250,000 subscribers. - Yeah, you could say that again. - So thank you guys for watching. It's this week now. I already have updates from last week, even though-- - It's only tomorrow. - I know what happened yesterday, but I have updated. - What happened yesterday? - I had a gastroenterologist appointment. - Oh my God, what happened? - Well, she was able to tell me, what the hell do you think I could do over the phone for you? - Yeah, what's the point of having a telehealth gastro? - I wanna make sure I understand you went in person, and now you're on a video call. You understand how that's moving backwards, right? And I said, yes, but you're a specialist. She goes, no, I can refer you to a specialist. I said, I'm gonna kill myself. - What are you doing? - It's impossible to say. It's impossible to say no one can help me. I have to figure this out on my own-- - But you can't. - Why can't I do this? - I don't know. You need to hire a life manager. - I know, I think I need to hire an assistant who's older and smarter than me, but that sounds so belittling. - Could be younger too. - Just younger and smarter than me. - You need to hire Eileen. - Eileen, Eileen. - Do you know who that is? - Eileen, Eileen. - You know who Eileen? - No. - From our video, are you smarter than a-- - Yeah, she's the smartest girl I know. - She seemed really capable. She's in our YouTube video if you haven't seen it. - Yeah. - I mean, she could probably diagnose you herself. - I know, except that elbow of hers was really going crazy. - What? - Oh, did she-- - Popped just completely out. She threw me for a damn loop. So, yeah, so I'm definitely at square one. That's not 23andMe, are you online chopping? - I'm on, no, I'm on 23andMe. - That's a picture of a book. - Love browsing your 23andMe results. Now you can view your answers to your reports in a beautiful hardcover book. See preview, do not mind if I do. Oh, it's gorgeous. Do you have any questions about my DNA? - Yeah, I'll just tell you guys all really quick just so everyone can be in the loop with what's going on with my stomach. - But you weren't diagnosed. - She has to send me a testing kit. - No. - What are you guys think I'm testing? Just out of your, out of, if you had to guess. - Crones? - No, I don't know what I'm testing for, but just like, I have to send in some examples. - When I used to have panic attacks in front of people. - You can't send it a sample of your panic attack. - No, no, listen to me. When I used to have panic attacks in front of people and like have to run off and be sick, I would just say, I'm sorry, I'm coming down with crones. (laughing) 'Cause I thought that was better. - I have crones, I'm not having a panic attack. I'm praying I don't have crones. - I don't think you have crones. - Like I would know if I had crones. - You need to either buy the 23andme book or wrap it up over there. - I'll wrap it up, babe. I was just curious if my DNA had changed. And it did. - Your DNA didn't change. - Guess it did, my report changed. Now I'm only 99 point, oh my God, this is completely blown the case wide open. I'm 100% broke. - What? - In that when you break that down. 99 point, I'm only 99 point four. - Are you a little bit of Lexus? - No, I'm only 99 point four Ashkenazi Jew. And that was not the case, it used to be 99 point nine eight. - You're getting less Ashkenazi? - I'm getting, I got, now I'm 99 point four Ashkenazi Jew West Central Ukrainian and point four Eastern European and point one broadly European. - Super much, I'm like Max. (laughing) - I don't know what any of that means. - So besides sticking to the report. - I'm just from Ukraine, maybe. - You're from Ukraine? - I don't, oh, I said it a little bit. Who the hell knows? - That's great. Ukrainian fans make some noise for you. - Hi. (laughing) - Okay, well we'll move right along there. - Wait, I wanna do a haul. - Oh yeah, I feel like, yeah, go ahead. - Do you know what you're testing for in your poop? - Brooke. - Sorry, I had gotten distracted by my Ukrainian roots. - I know, that's, I mean, you can show those off and be proud of where you came from and your blood. - Okay. - So you don't know what specifically they're running tests on, but you have to collect the sample. - Don't know how that works. - And then do you bring it in yourself or do you trip it? - I mail it, isn't that crazy? Like I hope my driver doesn't like drop it. - I have to do that for Jonathan. - I did it for Max. - Yeah, I've done it for myself before. - It's so much worse. - I'm not gonna ask like how you collected the sample. I'm just gonna have to figure it out. Just like everything else in my life. I have to figure it out. - They gave you a spoon. - Like a little fashion look. - Okay, let's, I'm gonna do that and not, I'm not gonna share the rest, I'll just share the update. - The thing is, I know you're gonna share it. - I'm not gonna share how like my field research, like I'm not gonna share my research from the field. - Just vlog it. - My first... - Not a lot of people are doing it like that. - Me making it back to you guys. I have made my journey back to you. - I told you a full vlog. (laughing) No one is doing it like that. - My school sample vlog is what I'm gonna call it. - That's what I just said. - That's what I know, I'm agreeing with you. I started laughing really hard while you were talking. This episode of Broken Conner and my belly button is out and that is nothing, that is not meant to take away from the fact that this episode of Broken Conner make a podcast is supported by State Farm. When you get a new car or a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, heck yeah, or I can't believe it, or how is this real? But what you really wanna say is the one thing that can get you the help you need. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there with the coverage you need for your car, your home, and even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. Listen guys, adulthood is already exhausting and complicated enough as it is. The way that I almost broke down and started crying, trying to find a hotel that's in the right area and has room available in London for my stay and also everything's called work gesture shy or sauce there and I couldn't figure out how close that is to where I need to be. No one could help me. I needed to navigate that space on my own and I figured it out. But that was exhausting 'cause it's like, who am I gonna call my mom? No, I need to do this. Not to mention, you know what, no, I'm done. Luckily, one of the parts of adulthood that doesn't have to be complicated is insurance thanks to State Farm. With the State Farm agent, you know someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need with so many coverage options that feels good knowing you can find what works best for you and your needs. And when you need a way to get help, State Farm gives you options there too. Whether it's in person or on the phone with your local agent or on State Farm.com or hold up on their award-winning app, State Farm lets you do things your way. And when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to say, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. - Okay, this is a haul of the bracelets that you've got on tour. (squeaking) - Yeah. - Let's see what they say. - A. - A, another quick reminder, if you're in Dublin, you should buy tickets to the show 'cause I think that this will come out and I do the show tomorrow. - This one says, puh, puh. - Okay, I'm also gonna challenge you to try to remember where everything came from. Do you remember where it came from? - Yeah, puh was when I started laughing when I was talking about what I was doing in the bathroom. But like, I would love if this didn't become a bathroom episode. We have so much to cover today. We have to get rid of puh. Thank you for giving me that. - This one says, fibula. - Oh, that came from-- - That one, I got it. - That's a tail as old as time. - Okay, this one? - That's a gorgeous one. - Oh, I like this one. This is a gorgeous piece. It's all like an Onyx tone. And it says, d-o-o-d. How would you pronounce? - D-o-d. - I also, like, if you're listening on audio, these are bracelets. The Taylor Swift effect has affected everyone. - I already said what they were. - You just said bracelets. But these are ones I've gotten on tour. They're the ones that you get it to, like, you wear it at EDM concerts or Taylor Swift concerts. Player. - This is good. NFPMSMOTT. - I don't know what that is. - Let's figure it out. - I don't-- - Never forget. PMS. NFPMS. NFPMSMOTT. What the hell? - Let's leave that-- - Nope. - Let's just put that-- - It's the new 1975 album. - Is it? - Yeah. - Well, nice job. Say when I-- I wouldn't have gotten that. - I am fucking with you, man. - Okay. I think we just put that out there and let people figure out what it is. - Give me one minute. Give me 60 seconds on the clock. Never forget, pistol. - I don't-- - Nice fibula. Poop makes-- - Oh my gosh. - This young woman and her-- - Nice fibula. Poop makes sense mostly only today, thanks. (laughs) - Oh my gosh, case closed. Good job. - Thank you. This one says-- - Nice fibula. - Jonathan, I'll keep this one. I love him. - Yeah, that's cute. - I love every Jonathan that I know. Oh my god, another Jonathan, perfect. I know so many of them. - Mm-hmm. - This one says let's move on. Do you mind if I put this one on my other arm? - No, and I love that sentiment too, especially right now. - Let's do the next one. Huh. - I think let's move on. I could apply nicely right now to-- - Insta, Insta Jamie Eliza Bith. - Maybe that's her Instagram name. - Wasn't Elizabeth, like why-- - Eliza Bith. - Oh my god. - I've never had an issue with that one before. - Okay, wait, this is another one. - This is another one. - This is another one I wanted to try to crack out. - Go ahead and crack it out and through. - CCFA AFO. - I got it. - Cancel culture, fucks. Cancel culture, fucks away. No, stop it. Oh my god, I got it. Sody's cat. - Yeah. - Contessa confetti. - Yeah. - Fucks away. - Let's come on. - Okay, y'all, if you know what CCFA AF, that means. - I'm sure someone will be able to crack. - Don't worry, we've got more. - The dam. - Max, you want this one? - Code. Yeah, I'll take it. Thank you. - Ooh, that one says B and CMAP. You want another Max? This one's a necklace. - That one I'm gonna-- - How about you put it on? - No, no, no, I'm gonna give it, I'm gonna put it on Max when he gets back. - Max, pop up, you want that one? - I'm like good on bracelets, honestly. I really appreciate everyone though. The only one I wear on my arm says Vibula. Just in case I forget. - What is this one? Maybe someone's Instagram name again. Maybe that's what they've all been this whole time. Legume. - Legume, that's cute. - You want legume? - No. - Is it you want legume? I could see you in it. - God damn. - I could see you in nothing but that legume bracelet. This one says Papa, B and CMAP, almost on the hall. - Okay, Brooke's almost done with her hall. I could have talked the whole time. - Max. Fibs and friends, pretty. Another Instagram handle. Hi all in the Onyx shade. - What a great way to wrap that up. Thank you guys so much for listening. - This has been Broken Conner Makeup, huh? - Make a puff bracelet, huh? - This has been Broken Conner Make a Stool sample. - That's also about one 100th of the amount of bracelets that I haven't unpacked yet from all my suitcases. I'm really not looking forward to bringing a giant ass suitcase to overseas. - Are you gonna test? - Yeah, but it's just massive and I'm gonna have to roll with it onto the tube. - Why are you gonna, why not, why not just go? - 'Cause it's in the 30s, there right now. - Which is where everything on the plane. - I get hot on planes. - Take it off then, once you get on. - I wanna wear, like for the first time ever, I wanna wear cozies. And I wanna be someone who like-- - For the first time ever? - Yeah, on a plane. - What do you usually wear? - Like stuff that's daytime wear. - I have never in my life worn a daytime piece on the plane. - You and you would have exploded with my mom. She wears all white, she wears jeans, white jeans, white sweater. Like tan sandals or boots. - I'm so curious about nature and nurture. Like what would have happened if your mom was my mom? It was my temperament. - Well your mom is similar but different. - No, like my parents were never like strict or like they didn't like not saying your mom is strict, but like I didn't have any sort of like do this. Does that make sense? - No, mine wasn't like do this, it was like we dressed nice for the airport. - Yeah, I didn't have anything like that. Like my parents slept in on the weekends and wore pajamas like to pick me up from school. - Yeah, I don't even. Yeah, no, that's two very specific examples of things that-- - Like I, there were so many weekends I never even came out of my room. I was just reading and writing and being in my pajamas. - Oh my gosh, crack of the ass I've done. - That's what I'm thinking. - My mom would come in, I hear her come in. - I could have gone on a weekend without seeing my parents. - Oh my God, they would call-- - 'Cause I was busy. - They would call the cops on me. They'd be like, I think he's depressed. My mom would come in every morning, crack my blinds, be like, by the way, sunlight's healthy. - Well, but my whole family's depressed, so I guess that helped. - That does help. Yeah. ♪ Tell me more, tell me more ♪ - I still get like this guttural feeling about having to mow the lawn on Saturdays. So hard. You ever get mad, you know when, okay, I don't know, you can relate to this, I'm sure my examples, you're just gonna have to turn into examples for yourself. - Okay. - There are times when like, I'm having kind of like a shitty day where like, I'm about to cry and then my headphones will get caught on a handle of a door, my wired headphones. - Yeah, of course. - And I just want to break-- - We've spoken about this. - Rip these up. - Let's just hold on the law. Oh my God, I talked about the day that I went out to, 'cause I was already mad at my parents, they were like, you need to go out and you need to do this. - The law power. - And it's like as soon as you were ahead of it, like one time I mowed the lawn and then my parents were like, oh, if you've already done that, you can go ahead and blow out the driveway with the leaf blower. And I was like-- - Blow out the driveway. - I had to blow out the driveway. What else, what would you call it? - Leaf blow out the driveway? - Oh, I just shortened it to blow. - Yeah, it was blow out the driveway. - Just blow out the driveway. - And I was mad, 'cause I was like, I already did my thing that I was supposed to do. What the hell? And so I went out to do that and I went to fill it up with gas. Maybe I've already told this story, but if you haven't heard it, here it is. And it's only like a little tiny thing of gas in the leaf blower. So when I put the whole gas thing in, it filled up so fast that it shot back out into my eyes. And I was like, ah, oh my God, I'm so pissed up. And so I just punched a hole in the drywall. Like I was like, I'm so mad at everything. I'm a mad at inanimate objects. I'm mad at fossil fuels. I'm mad at the leaf blower. I'm mad at my wired headphones. Oh, they would rip out all the time when I was asleep. - Oh my God. - Black eyed piece. - What's worse, I already know the answer, sorry. - What? - It's a stupid question. Catching your wire on something or having an air pod fall slip out of your ear. - I don't have like that much experience with air pods. I'm different. - Yeah, you are. The answer is getting the wire caught. - Well, the wire hurts too. And then it unplugged. So it's letting all of you know-- - Oh, it's, I can't love it. It's pissing me off. - It's pissing me off. - It's pissing me off. - But I just learned, I just saw the suite. I don't know if it's true, but it makes sense. I guess, someone tweeted and they were like, do you know how much? I know, every time I talk about radiation, people are like, do you know how much radiation is in your body that's happening? Like you have five cameras pointed at you. Air pods are the least of your worries, King. But they said that air pods produce so much radiation and it just zaps right through your brain. - There's no way. - What kind of makes sense? 'Cause they have to be connected to shit. - Just try not to think about it. - Yeah, I'm sure having my air pods and we'll help with that actually. - Yeah. ♪ La bottomie ♪ - Electric lobotomy. Electroshock therapy lobotomy. - No, if I wouldn't, I use my air pod so much that I would tell you if I've been lobotomized than I haven't yet. - You don't think it's like you don't think you're getting to go there? - I still have too many problems. - Yeah. Yeah, wait, that's true. - Wait, so true. - Wait, oh my God, yes. - Yeah. - Yup. - Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to say a sponsor of today's episode, Aura Frames. From big events to the silly moments you capture every day, doesn't it sometimes feel like all your favorite photos are just stuck on your camera roll? Wouldn't it be great to have an easy way to share and enjoy them with friends and family? - That's where Aura comes in. - Named the number one digital photo frame by Wirecutter, Aura makes it effortless to upload unlimited photos and videos directly from your phone. So your favorite photo memories are always within view. Plus you can personalize and preload in Aura Frame for a truly special unforgettable gift. - I never thought about preloading one. That's really-- - Wait, I didn't-- - That's an awesome idea. - I had never thought about that as well. - That's a very good idea. - So you like send it and then-- - Yeah. - Imagine sending it to your mom or your dad and being like, I don't even have to be there to upload it. - I just had to upload it. - Ready to go. - Yeah. - Wow, it is the holiday season as well. - You know that my favorite pastime in the world, or maybe you don't know, but let me tell you, my favorite pastime in the world is looking at my camera roll on the plane. - Yeah, me too. - And now I can look at my camera roll on the plane and make an album for which ones I wanna send to my Aura. - That's pretty brilliant. - What a fun new pastime that I've unlocked. - Also productive to do. It's not just like, oh, look at this memory. - Yeah. - You know, for what? - Yeah, and I can make tons of different albums for people that I wanna make different frames for. - You might become like everyone's favorite little girl. - I'm a little girl. - You might just be an engineer. - Yeah, women's, for a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get $45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames by using promo code B-A-N-D-C at checkout. That's A-U-R-A frames.com promo code B-N-C. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so don't miss out. Terms and conditions apply. Here's one thing that I have trouble with at the airport that I'm just gonna talk about day over one more time. I really would love to be a guy that carries a briefcase 'cause I feel like it would look so cool. You would. - Broke, I know, but-- - I'd rather carry a briefcase instead of a backpack to school when he was younger. - Was he bullied? - No. - Whoa. - Nope, no bullying policy. - And it worked? - I'm pretty sure all schools have a no bullying policy. - Calling you? (laughing) Like genuinely, I think so. I don't think there was bullying in the lower school. - Oh my gosh. - I really believe that. - When I think about bullying, it was like not ever who like needed to be bullied. Like we're bullying needed to happen, it wasn't happening. - That's true. And I also look back, I don't know if I said this recently here or on Obsessed. I look back on things that people said to me in like middle school. - Bullying. - I was like, oh my God. I was bullied to the gods, but I didn't let myself be bullied. I was just like, that is so fucking funny, you guys seriously. - Broke, yeah, me too. I think about that a lot-- - And I really believed it was funny. - I think I feel sorry for kids, not to get all sad, but like they, that's so sad. You just really have to stick it out. - You just have to stick it out. - I look at all these cameras right here and I say, never kill yourself because my high school bullies are simply, I had one apologize to me and be like, I'm sorry and I'm like, I forgot about you. - But you're something about me. - I'm so glad that you're thinking about me though. - Yeah. - Yeah. What movie did I watch the other day? Oh, Billy Madison, was it? On my half TV, I watched Billy Madison, one of them, he calls his someone he bullied in high school and was like, hey, and it's Steve Buscemi, that answers the phone. And he's like, hey, I just wanna say I'm really sorry for everything I said to you. And Steve Buscemi's like, hey man, literally no worries. And Adam Sandler's like, I'd love to get a coffee or something soon. And he's like, Steve Buscemi? He's like, yeah, I'd really like that. And then they hang up and he turns to the wall behind him and crosses Adam's name off his list. And then right when Adam Sandler's about to get shot, he steps in and shoots the guy. And so he had a gun and he had a list on his wall. - Whoa. - Yeah. - I've never seen that film. - Adam Sandler is a collection of films like Billy Madison and like Mr. Deeds and like-- - I really like Big Daddy. - Big Daddy, there's a collection of films that he must have signed the Glen Powell contract of like the '90s or whenever those came out. - It is such a feel good film. - It really is, all of his are. It is just goes, it goes back to that thing where it's like, he plays almost the same character and everything and it's so good and it's so typecast. He'll go down history as just like a character. - I think he's already down in it. - Well, I mean, like he'll go down more in history. I think when he's older, he hasn't, it seems like he's kind of just like-- - You know, it was a flop. - What? - He'll be Halloween. - I don't know what that is. - Yeah. - But he's typecast as well into that like, well, I'm gonna go ahead and have Jennifer Anderson be my love interest in this one. - Yes. - And then the next one, I'm gonna have just like every single woman in all of his films is just-- - Yeah, yeah. - Angelina Jolie and Brooklyn Decker, et cetera. - Andy Roddick was in the film. I watched last night, oh, just go with it. I watched that last night. Andy Roddick's at the end, tennis player. - It's a great movie. - It really is. Okay, what the hell, how do we do that? - Well, we were supposed to talk about dreams today. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. - I just like, I guess I was thinking about dreams maybe when I fell asleep or something. I had the weirdest dream. I wrote it down. - Yeah, I didn't read it. So I want you to tell me I'll blind react to it. - Okay. - But we had everybody send in their own dreams and also, just like Evergreen, that submission box that lives, or is it a link in our bio? It's in the link in our bio. It's always open. You guys can write in whenever. - You really can. - If anything happens, also like I would love to do something where it's just like, you write in something that happens. We give you a little bit of advice or something, whatever we can do. And then we have like an ongoing situation where we're like working through things in real time. I-R-T. - That could be really fun. - That could be fun for us. Okay, go ahead. - Okay. So I don't know if you know that Kindle has finally launched a color, a colored Kindle. - I know that 'cause I saw them at Best Buy when I got my TV last week. - Really? So they launched the colored Kindle, the Kindle Color Soft, but it's had so many complaints because it just like is slow moving apparently and the color's like very muted. - I noticed that I was tapping and I was like, "This is a display." And they're like, "No, that works." I'm like, "I can't, you can't drag anything." - So now when you go to order, you can never drag on a Kindle. - What the hell? - It's like not an iPad. - No, the glare. But now when you go to order it, it says three to five weeks to ship. So I think they're like- - Fixing it? - Overhauling it. - Yeah, but anyway, some influencers did get the Kindle Color Soft. Some of them did, some people might not know that some influencers did get them. So I had a dream about the Kindle Color Soft and I was invited to the Amazon launch event. - Oh, I was gonna say Amazon, the rainforest? - No, the Amazon launch event of the Kindle Color Soft at Amazon headquarters in Los Angeles, California. Okay, I was welcomed with open arms into the Amazon studio. I was with my friend Jen and they said welcome to the Kindle Color Soft launch experience. Here, and they held out on a platter, like please take one of these each for the optimal experience. It was a gummy. So we were like- - Finishing your sentences in my head and I thought you were gonna say it was a gummy. - No, it was a gummy. And I was like, "Oh great, how many milligrams?" I popped it, swallowed how many milligrams? Is that 250? Okay, perfect. So then me and Jen go into this little box and are literally in my dream I'm on acid. Okay, and we're experiencing the Kindle Color Soft and it's looking like the most insane piece of technology in the world. And I guess because it flopped so much, they really had to drug me in order for me to feel like it was a premium experience. - Wow. - Yeah. Then, so we're in the orb experiencing the Kindle Color Soft. - The Kindle Color Soft. - Then, Jada Pickett Smith and Will Smith walk by. - Yeah. - And Jen says something kind of like, I couldn't even make out what she said to Jada and Jada and Will give her daggers, okay? - That's not like Jada. - And they keep walking and then me and Jen are like, "Oh shit, I don't know what that was about." Jada comes back and is to Jen, my friend Jen, is like, "How fucking dare you talk to my husband that way?" Like, you piece of shit. Like, I hope you never get this Kindle Color Soft. Like, I hope they don't pick you. Like, blah, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff. And I'm sitting there completely nonverbal. I don't even know what Jen had said to offend her so much. Then Jada looks at me and she goes, "I need you to take a stance. "I don't, you can't just sit there." You can just sit there. Is it her or is it me? Do you support what she said to me? And I was like, "Jada, here's the thing. "I'm on 250 right now." - Yeah. - So whatever Jen said to you, please know that that was from the 250 M.G. - Really? - That we had both taken and that it is not a reflection on you or Will Smith. (laughing) - Or me as her friend. - And she goes, "Oh my God, that is hysterical." Then me, Jada, Jen are cracking the fuck up. Jada gets her own Kindle Color Soft. Okay, she's in the orb. Everything is fine. Okay. Meanwhile, my Uber's here. Again, Uber, you're in it. Okay. You had literally, I forgot to mention this morning, we, I guess we lived together or something. You were hyping me up so much about the Kindle Color Soft Experience. You were like, "I'm so proud of you." You have worked so hard to get this Kindle Color Soft. By the way, Amazon did not send this to me and I think the dream is like a huge reflection of that. (laughing) And you were like, "You worked so hard. "I'm so proud of you." Like, everything that you've worked for, it has led up to this day. Like, couldn't be more proud of you. Love you so much. And I was like, "Oh my God, Connor, like, thank you so much." Like, I really felt so treasured by you that morning, okay? So then I got into the Uber. I bought the Kindle Color Soft in my satchel. I got into the Uber, like, "Hey, Connor." And you're like, "How was it?" And I was like, "It was so great. Thank you so much." Like, couldn't have done it without your support. I get a text, it's a group chat. Me, you and my brother. Happy birthday, Connor. This whole time, I didn't realize it was 9/11. (laughing) This is like, full, remember me starring Robert Pattinson? It was 9/11 the whole time, okay? - Oh my God. - I look over to you, I feel so fucking horrible. You, this whole morning, had hyped me up so much, and I forgot it was your birthday. But when I look back at you, you're completely black and drunk, covered in mirroring arrows. And I was like, "Oh my God, what happened?" You can't even get the words out. You're slurring so much. I don't know what happened. So I'm like, "Fuck, I have to infeed right now." (laughing) For his birthday. So all I could do was take a photo of you in the mirroring arrows, and I posted infeed, have birthday the greatest guy I know. Thanks for always being there. - Over to mirroring arrows. - Thank you for your mirroring arrows. So the Uber driver is like, "I've got to get him "to Bertucci's." You know, Bertucci's? - Yeah. - "I've got to get him to Bertucci's for his birthday." (laughing) - We were running late. - What about me? What about my outfit? - You are going to Bertucci's right now. - I know, what about me in my, I'm covered in mirroring arrows. - I think it had something to do with your reservation. - With Bertucci's? - Yeah. But the whole time you were just picking up. So you got back in the Uber. - I was picking up Bertucci's. (laughing) You guys getting picked to go? - That was the reservation. - So it didn't matter that I was covered. - Then you got it back and then I got out of the Uber quickly to run into the house to like ready the birthday for you. But you never came in and then I went back outside and I was like, "Where's Connor?" And the Uber driver was like, "He never paid me back for the Bertucci's." And that's where the, where the dream ended. - I wonder why I ended up going. That's like, she's just scaring me. - I think it was implied that he killed you. That was my understanding 'cause he spotted you for the Bertucci's. And I had rushed into the house. I couldn't even spot you for the Bertucci's. Like I didn't even think to pay for your Bertucci's. And because of that, you didn't have the money. And it was implied that he had discharged a view. - He just took care of me and I'm covered in marinara. - Care of him? - I'm covered in marinara the whole time. - Yeah. - Oh my gosh. - And then that lit, like I was so upset that that photo of you and the marinara sauce was in my feed when like how the day turned out. With you being like completely, probably shot. - By the Uber driver. - Hey guys, we wanna take a quick break to think of sponsor of today's episode, Skims. My favorite, I like a lot of things about the holidays. - Yeah. - But one of my favorite things is- - I wanna guess. - Okay. - I think one of your favorite things, because I think this is where we align. I think this is the one time of year that where we really align. Getting comfy, getting cozy, feeling comfortable, feeling warm, settling down in one section of a couch maybe. And like everyone's kind of doing their own thing, but you're kind of planted. And you're comfy and you're at peace with that. - Yes. - Yeah. - Literally the only thing you left out is wearing the same thing every single day. - Yeah. - And Skims makes that so easy conner, because it is the maximum amount of comfort you can experience in an outfit. So why would I even want to change it? - I don't know. Actually that's a great call out for me because I'm gonna get some more buttery smooth. - It's buttery smooth. - It feels like you're almost wearing nothing. - Wait, I'm wearing my Skims right now. I'm wearing underwear today. - Show us. - I don't think that's good idea. - That's not good idea. - I don't think that's good idea girl. - Oh. - Completely not good. - What's your favorite holiday tradition? - You know what's weird is my family doesn't really have traditions. - Mine either. - We're a broken home. - You're not. - Well in our own. - Don't appropriate. - Broken home culture. - I'm cold. - Sorry. - Okay. - I think my favorite holiday tradition is panicking last minute to see what we're all gonna do to get together 'cause it's never in one place. So probably that initial group chat fight. In my buttery silky smooth Skims box of briefs. - Who do you see yourself buying Skims for? Like specifically the buttery soft kind. - Probably my pregnant cousin. - Oh my god, yes. - Because they're so stretchy. - He would love that. - And then they fit everybody. - Yeah, he would love that. - Another great gift idea I love is if it's everybody triangle bralette and the Skims holiday shop has them packed in the cutest boxes that make for the best stocking stuff first. - Well, holiday packaging. I love holiday packaging. - You would love a good bralette. - I know. - Shop Skims holiday shop at skims.com. Available in styles for women, men, kids, and even pets. - Yeah. - If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your order, select podcasts in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. - No, it's crazy because like that would be that's like what we talked about the other day. I was like, what's your last memory? Like the last thing you post on your way out. Like what's your last journal entry? Like the Queen of England, having her last journal entry is only five words that they won't share with us. And like your my last journal entry in your journal is me black out drunk. - It's just my in feet of you and Mariner. - Mariner is so awesome, man. - So when I woke up, I was like eager to write my dream down before I forgot it. And so what I wrote was, "Kendall color soft J to pick it Smith. You were so proud of me." - And then my brother texted you happy birthday. I forgot it was 9/11. You were covered in sauce. Put that on my tombstone. - I don't know why that's like making me so nervous. - No, I think it says more about me obviously than like, I think you were the hero in that story. - I died of Mariner covered in sauce. - You 100% did and your death was my fault. - Oh my gosh. Well try to try to lucid dream tonight and get like some closure for me. Now when we need to like kill that Uber driver. - We never, like your body was never found. So the story is not over. - But it didn't seem like you looked for it. No offense. - I don't like it gets fuzzy after that. - Maybe it was more of just like everything was implied towards the end. - I think it's scary that like, here you are on 250 milligrams of weed. Here I am blackout drunk over to Mariner and Air sauce. Like it's the blind leading the blind. We only had our Uber driver. - I think he scammed you. Maybe you didn't even have the reservation. I don't know. - Anyway, what do you make of the dream? Like if you had to analyze it? - A lot of things. I think there's maybe something that's so specific to the Kindle situation that like, I think it just means that like you really wanted a Kindle. I think that that's- - Color soft, yeah. - Jokes on them. Now it's taking three to five weeks. - Yeah, I mean, God, we're some serious ways. Me being blackout drunk covered in Mariner and Air sauce scares me that you had a dream about that. But more so, I think that's just an anxiety dream about you forgetting someone's birthday. Because that's like an anxiety dream that like everybody has where it's like, oh my gosh, I wait for a test. I forgot about the test. Like I forgot what day it is. I think it's a really common anxiety dream. - I also feel like it's not to like, get super therapeutic and analyze myself. I have been feeling recently like I haven't been as good of a friend to everyone as I should be. 'Cause I've been so wrapped up in my book like I have been so like inside of myself. - Even inside yourself. - So inside myself that I feel like I keep forgetting to ask people how they are, like truly. And so I think that's a reflection of that. Just like me feeling like I haven't been a good friend recently. - Well, the Mariner sauce kind of throws it around and then me being shot to death with a gun. Also kind of throws me on. - You could have been poisoned. I don't know what the way he disposed of you. - I feel like the way that you are describing like it's definitely a shot and I'm in his trunk. - It was almost mob related. Maybe just like there's a, maybe that was related. - 'Cause he's a jersey cop too, but there's a lot. 'Cause of the sauce and the Bertucci of it all. - Yeah. - Maybe he was of the Bertucci family. He's a Bertucci family. - Oh my God, maybe. - Watch like next week, Bertucci, like mob related scandal comes out. - We get an email from an anonymous account that's just like, hey, we'd love to chat about the Mariner, about the sauce. - About the sauce. - I do wish that I had dreams like that. That's rare. I don't have dreams that much anymore. - I mean, I don't want anyone to die in my dreams. All of my dreams are like, it's the end of the world and I'm trying to get like my family. It's like my family needs to get in the house and like there's also someone trying to kill me specifically. Like the end of the world is my fault, but it's like the apocalypse. - Yeah. - Why don't, or like I have two sides of the spectrum. It's like the world is ending or like I am going swimming in this awesome lagoon. And it's like there are, it's like a perfect lagoon where it's like I'm getting in and there is like literally like an octopus and like a sea turtle and it's very colorful and there's a place to sit and like put your stuff and it's like perfect. And then you like, it's not dangerous in the oceans right there, but like the lagoon is like safe and you can swim in it and it's not cool. And it's like perfect and safe and like nice and you can like relax, but there's like critters in it that you can go see. - I don't think I've ever had a dream that's just like relaxing like that. - Well, no, it's always starts relaxing and then it's like, uh oh, tsunami. Like I'm in the perfect lagoon and then there's a tsunami coming or like all of a sudden there's like literally the Russians are here to kill us. Like it's like literally you hear playing the dances. - Why is it always the Russians for you? - Well, I'm just thinking of who would approach us on the coast. China are the Russians now. - Because of geography? - Yeah. Someone from overseas, which like it's not going to be Mexico isn't going to approach us on the sea. Also, I don't think that they would like militarizedly. - Do you have no idea they could get on the Royal Caribbean? - Militarily like come out and go out into the Gulf of Mexico and come back in and attack Texas via sea. I'm thinking more like air strike. - Oh my God. Did I, I don't know if I want to talk about bombs right now, but in seventh grade, our art teacher showed us. - What did your teacher show you in seventh grade related to bombs? - The most graphic animated telling of the Hiroshima bombings. And it was, 'cause we were doing like a Japanese art unit. This wasn't okay, the specific video. - Oh, they showed you a video. - A video, it was animated, but it was so graphic. It showed everything, the bomb dropping. People, like I can't even say, it was so bloody and graphic. - Yeah. - And for years after that video, every time I heard a plane, that was it. - Yeah. - That was it. And she got in a lot of trouble for showing us that. - I bet. It's crazy the things that people like teachers did and then they were like-- - This feels right. - Wait, in hindsight, yeah, why did I do that? - Wait, this feels right. - I wonder if the teachers are like, hmm, yeah. We had a teacher get fired because he showed Ted, the like weed smoking bear movie. - Yeah, he probably should have. - So like teachers are showing Hiroshima bombing, graphic images, and then Ted, and like ours was fired. But it also sucks 'cause I'm pretty sure we convinced him to play that. - That sucks. - Yeah. - One time my teacher clicked on a link and then porn popped up all over the projector on the screen and then he threw himself in front of the projector and then the porn was just playing on his back. (laughing) - We had, do you remember the projector where it's just like, it's literally this giant thing, this giant base and then like an crane and it was like this? Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they don't look like that. - Right, that's true. - Like that was a beast of mankind, like they probably, oh no, there's like a scanner that sits on the desk and actually with a computer now and it's just a camera. But the projector was like an actual like light bending device. - Yeah. - That's crazy, now it's just a camera. - Yeah. - I feel like most of them like were on the ceiling in school. But like the light bending device was for like still images. - Oh, this is what I'm talking about. - This was for like still images but I'm talking about like. - It's just straight up called an old school projector. Well, that's what we had, my school was broke I think but our teacher had pulled up something on his phone and it was like he had left it up. I don't really understand how it got to his texts but it got to his texts or maybe he was like mirroring. He dragged, he shared his screen to the thing and his texts were opening. It was go raffic sexting between him and one of the female soccer coaches. Sexting and nothing happened. - But that's not a, that's fine. - Nothing happened because I think it was like senior year of high school. I think he was embarrassed. But for really, truly and like I don't even want to say this because it does sound, you know my heart obviously but like they were both really attractive so I don't think that they got in trouble. It was like, it was, they were probably. - But also there are two contenting adults. - I know, but like we saw it, you know. - Was it images? - No, like I can't remember exactly what it's about. It was literally like a Sabrina Carpenter song. - Yeah. - I'm going to pin you down on the carpet and paint pictures with my tongue. Like kind of that sort of thing. And she was like, have you ever tried this one before? - I feel, yeah, I feel like that's not fireable honestly. - Yeah, honestly looking back, it's really weird to say because I was 16, 17 and that happened. But they were probably 27. - Yeah, it's like, completely fine. - Yeah, completely fine. - Even a little bit hot. - Even a little bit hot if I do say so. I love that. - Yeah. - Anyways. - Like pop off you guys. - Probably like, yeah, just like, just don't do it again. - Did you ever, you know how they were like, when there were two teachers that were like youngish and the same age, like you automatically were like, they're fucking. - Yeah. - I would love to go back in time. We had like two teachers that we specifically were like, you guys are endgame, we would always say something. Like we had like a couple name for them. I would love to go back in time and ask them like, what was that like for you? - I. - Did you guys ever, did you hate each other? Did you hate us? Like. - I would say 99% of the time, if two like young attractive teachers are single, they probably have, they were probably one step ahead of all of the students thinking that they're really doing something like. - Hey, we have a good idea. I bet like them being coworkers was enough for them to have gotten something going outside like happy hour with like a teacher. I learned recently like at my shows, how many teachers are out on a Tuesday Wednesday at one of my standup shows ordering three, four drinks. I'm like, and you have class tomorrow. - And they'll play a movie. - They were like, we're doing movie day tomorrow. We're rolling out of TV, rolling out of TV. That's going to become. - I wish I had gotten the opportunity. - To roll out of TV. - To roll out of TV, but we weren't allowed. - Oh, cause. - Like it's preschool. - I mean, that sounds like it should be TV day every day. - I know. Wasn't. - Bluey every single day. I love Bluey by the way, that TV shows good. - I've never seen Bluey. - Sorry. - It's okay. - Should we read some of the other people? - I guess we should read at least one dream. - So this one, I'm just going to start out with this. I don't really understand if this was a dream or if this was just a random submission. So I'm just going to read it. - Okay. - I invented a robotic penis, parentheses, I'm a girl. - Okay, I'm going with dream, but let's read it. - That's it. - Oh. - So, she, what did she? - Well, does she think she invented a vibrator? - Right. - I don't know. - Okay, okay. - I mean, we'll chalk it up to if that's-- - A lot of women in STEM making themselves known today. - Yes. Once I'd had a day, not a daydream, one day-- - Penis envy, Freud would say. - Yeah, penis envy. - That's the term. - Maybe somebody think to look into, you know who you are. Once I had a dream that I attended my own funeral, I took place at my old high school and all my friends were there, and my family was there too, and I was literally an invisible ghost waltzing around. The worst part was it was an open casket. So, not only was I at my own funeral via ghost, I was looking at myself dead. I'm still traumatized and think about it all the time. This was like three years ago. - That's horrible. - That is horrible. However, like, I do love the idea of going to your own funeral. I feel like if I know I'm going to die, like I would love to have a pre-fue funeral that everyone could come to. I know that I'm not going to get fumbled in the afterlife, but why not have one last hoorah? And I can pick the playlist and I can be there and be like, you guys, literally I'm still here. This is my pre-fue funeral. Let's have some fun. This beat is stick. And when I want to have-- - Beat is stick. - This is this beat is stick. - This is the second stick. - I want to take a ride on your disco stick. - Yeah. I've had dreams where I am. - Come on, I'm just a girl. I invented a penis. I invented a robot penis. I'm just circling back to that quickly. - Yeah. - I want to go to my own funeral. I think that we should have-- - Yeah. - I think we should have pre-fue funerals. - I want to do that and not be dead. - Yeah, so it would be like a pre-fue funeral. I think if I get up there, I want to have some sort of large swardah, it'd be like, I'm not going to be here forever, but like, I'm acknowledging that when my funeral comes, like, I came to my first one. I don't need to go to two. - But there was a book I read when I was younger and this girl got hit by a car and just like died completely suddenly and was like 12 or something. And she had to watch her funeral from above and watch how everyone coped with her very unexpected death. And she couldn't reach out to them, but she could see everything and she was there, she just couldn't reach them. That would be completely the worst thing that I could ever imagine. - I would just be mad if someone was telling a story and I was like, that is not what happened. No, no, I paid for dinner that night. That's why we got, and they tell a story wrong. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You always change that part. You do not remember it right. My mom cannot remember any stories with the facts. There is her truth, my truth and then the truth. - Yeah. - And she's not-- - Maybe none of them have anything in common. - She's not willing to budge on her version. And it's funny. So that has become a character building name for me. The fact that like she remembers things a certain way and that's-- - And that becomes the truth. - It's easier to accept that. - Yeah. - Yeah. I get it. - Hey y'all. We want to take a quick break to getting a sponsor of today's episode, Twisted T. It's Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. We hope you guys are all having a great Thanksgiving with your friends and family and most importantly, drinking some Twisted T. - Look, what's your favorite thing about Thanksgiving if you have to say? - Well, I'm going to go into detail for the rest of the episode. But I think one of my favorite traditions is like kind of sneaking off with the cuzzos and having a couple like pre Thanksgiving dinner cocktails in the garage. - Oh, MG, you know what I'm thinking? - Sitting on the couch? - Croc an opener. - Twisted T. - A TT. - Oh. - So this year, let's go ahead and bring some of that, some of that Twisted T to the garage, as well as your dinner party. So all of your family can enjoy it with you. Twisted T is a refreshing hard iced tea made with a real brewed tea and 5% alcohol. It's the perfect drink to keep the good times going all day long. - It really, really is because it's like light and it's like easy to drink. I feel like a lot of the drinks that we are used to right now, especially in the garage, in my garage culture, are kind of heavy and it's like not something you want to drink before a dinner, or even after having turkey and stuffing and all the fix-ins. It tastes like real iced tea because it's made with real brewed tea and it's super flavorful. It's not carbonated, which makes it easy to drink all day long. Maybe even your family like to play football or maybe you're just hanging with friends this year because you didn't want to buy a flight back home. What better way to enjoy than with some Twisted T? It's the perfect beverage to accompany any plans. - No matter what your plans offer Thanksgiving, Twisted T is there to turn your day up a notch and make a good time a great time. Grab a refreshing Twisted T today and keep it twisted. - Say so I keep having a recurring dream that my grandma is trying to kill me and chases me to her basement and then when I'm running down the stairs, all I see is my mom's sitting at a coffee table alive. By the way, she's dead. Dress is a little red riding hood, so like what does that mean? - Her grandma's trying to kill her? - Yeah, and her mom who's passed away in real life is there in her dream. - Maybe your grandma killed her mom. - Okay, I wasn't gonna go there. I was just gonna say like maybe instead of having a dream that your mom's waiting at a basement, dressed like little red riding hood, like go to therapy and learn how to lose your dream so that you're at the beach with your mom. Or you could say, "Hey mom, what the hell is this?" Next time you're in their little red riding hood. - Oh, that would also be-- - 'Cause it seems like your grandma is the wolf in the story. - Oh my gosh, Brooke. - Right? Totally. - So that means something? - And her mom is literally-- - That's what I'm saying. - Oh my God, your grandma ate your mom. - That's what it seemed like she believes that in some level. - Or it did. - Maybe that her grandma contributed to whatever happened to her mom. - Wow. - Watch that be like completely so off phase. - Oh my gosh, well maybe like distance yourself from your grandmother. - If pause. - Or just look into it and notice if her ears have gotten bigger or what sharp teeth she has, you know? - Have you seen like the actual origins of so many fairy tales that are actually like so disturbing? - I would love to do an episode on that. - Yeah, like one of the steps that's in Cinderella like cutting her foot off to fit in the glass slipper. - I can't tell if those are done by people who are so unwell and they like want to see. - No, that was the original. - Oh, and they made it sweet. - And then they made it the Cinderella that we know. - Well, I'm happy that it was like the tales or not the Brothers Grimm. - Yeah, no it's the Brothers Grimm. - Is it? - Yeah. - Thanks a lot Brothers Grimm, Ellen Chancin. Speaking of, someone wrote it and said getting chased by a wolf, but I can't see my vision is blurry, like I don't have my contacts in, it's terrifying. - I have so many dreams where my some sort of limb or body part malfunctions. I think that's the same as like the out of control, breaks don't work. - Yeah, probably. - Type of thing. - I haven't had breaks don't work. Oh, I can't find the one that the girl wrote in that I screenshotted. Wait, I'm gonna talk about this one first, the wolf. Being chased by something is so scary. I always have the one where you can't move. Why is everyone having bad dreams? No one, not a single person wrote in and shared a nice recurring dream. I have one. - Well, it's the same with like Yelp reviews. Like you're gonna share the things that stick out the most and those are usually like negative experiences. - We had a, we had far less sexual write ins than I thought, which I was expecting a lot of people to be like, I weirdly had this dream about someone I'm not attracted to. I wasn't attracted to and then I had this extreme and like everything changed mentally. - I only ever have sex dreams about people that I'm not interested in. - No, did we have one? Okay. Oh my God, I don't know if I wanna read that. I had a dream that my brother kept trying to kiss me in front of his girlfriend and my boyfriend, my brother and his girlfriend were offended that I wouldn't kiss him thoughts. I am, first of all, like I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you did this. That is so foul. - I don't think it's that bad. - That, no, I'm glad that the outcome was like, you didn't kiss him. - But we don't know that. - No, that I didn't kiss him thoughts, wouldn't. - She didn't-- - She budged. - She didn't say wouldn't at first. - Yeah. - I hope you didn't kiss him and you're subconscious, but again, that's like not your fault. I'm not gonna, I'm not Freud, so I can't like do too much there. Freud would love this one though. Oh my God, I wish-- - Yeah, I don't know what that one means. - Rich Freud was our age. He probably was when he was at his peak, honestly. - He's a freak, like I know that, but like I would love to have him on and just like have him be like, yeah, you definitely want to hook up with him. - Like how old was Freud when he came up with his, like you want to fuck your mom at a piss complex theory? - He was 60, so that's really-- - Oh, okay, proud. All right, Jeff and learn. Ew. - Do you believe that? - What? - That every like boy like wants to be with his, like someone like his mom? - I do think that birds of a feather flock together. I do think that there's some science there and you're like, you, I don't think it's inherently sexual. I think it's more like, I want to build like a family base that's based on the success I saw or the failure I saw within my own family unit. But I don't think that it's sexual, although you do, I feel like instinctually you want like survival, you know, of like your genes. So it's like, I want to fuck someone that like reminds me of my parents that had me. - I guess. - Ew. You need to shake this dream. You need to shake this dream. There's no reason a sibling should be in your dream in any way. - I'm not sure why I'm like not disturbed by that one. - You're really close with your brother. I'm just kidding. Oh Lord. I don't know what to say about that. What is this one that above it? I'm seeing the word minions. Few months back had a dream that they released a live action minions movie in the movie. Connor was an influencer doing a live string teaching people how to speak minion. Okay, manifestation. I do want to be in film and TV. - What, do you want to be in the minions franchise? - That's a big money franchise, like sure. - Yeah. - And I feel like I could do voice acting. - I agree, you've got a great voice. - I don't know how to do the minion thing though. I've never seen a minion movie. - Oh my God, they're actually really good. - Are they? - I love the minions music in the way that I love Alvin and the Chipmunks music. - Is it just really high pitched and Chantie? - You've never heard a minion song? Is he, can we play the banana? - Banana. - Are we allowed to? - Banana. It don't matter. It's just gonna knock your socks off. (vocalizing) (vocalizing) - Okay. - I can watch that on live. - It's crazy that brain rot didn't start on TikTok. It started in 2013 with the minions movies. - Oh my God, this is awesome. I had forgotten about this piece. Do you know what is actually, actually we can watch it. I'd love to watch this in the bonus. - What kind of birds is that? Why is it in a cardboard box? - It's the cardboard box, birds. - That's neat. I love that. - And you push it up from the bottom. You have like many of them too. - Oh, I can't. I didn't get there yet again. I'm selling my first little mini. Okay, I like this one that this girl wrote in. Basically she sang, she's in like a barn. And then all of a sudden she answers a room in this barn and there's an unfinished boat, like a big wooden boat. And then she realized like, oh my God, I'm not supposed to be in here. Like this is someone else's thing and I need to get out of here. And I can't remember how it ended. And I don't think I screenshot it. But I have dreams all the time where I realize I'm in someone's house. And I don't even, like my intentions were pure. I don't know how I got into this person's house, but I need to get out of this house. - I have that too, but it's my old house. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I thought, I'm like, oh wait, fuck, I forgot, I don't live here anymore. - Yeah. - Yeah. And you have to get out, which is weird, it's like the getting out should be like, I came into this house on accident. I'm so sorry, like that should be easy, but they always wanna kill me. - Shit. - Have you ever had a dream that a family member was trying to kill you? - I don't think so. - Not to go back to the grandma that wants to eat. - I actually do not think so. But that's a good question. If I did have a dream that a family member was trying to kill me, who would it be? - Oh my God, I found this screenshot. - Maybe my pop-up, because when I was little, he used to tell me that he wanted to marry me, and that would scare the shit out of me. - Yeah, that's normal fear, valid. - Because he said I was the love of his life. So that would really scare me. And so I guess that I could see that transferring over that I wanna kill you. - I could see that too. (laughs) - I do wanna marry pop-up though. - See, it's all in the family. - Yeah. - Freud is on to something. - Yeah. - Okay, here's one. I feel like you'll like this one. I always have this dream when I'm stressed out. I'm a theater kid. I'm usually in the audience watching a high school production. I've never seen. Then a strange, oh, stage hand, asked me to fill in for the main character. I'm quickly brought backstage and begging for a script while getting hair and makeup done. Then someone will finally give me a script where each page is the size of a fortune cookie paper. I wake up sweating-- - Whoa. - I have that all the time. - Fortune cookie paper is a nice touch. - Yeah, that is nice. - I've had the, like, where's the script before, and I just never get it. I have had one recently where it's like, oh, I feel so good 'cause I've been telling you guys like the stand-up's been going well, and I feel comfortable. And like, I don't really even feel the need to like go over stuff like that much anymore, whereas I used to be like the full day before I'm like in my hotel room, like going over stuff. And now I'm like, no, I feel good, and I'm gonna do crowd work, and I'm gonna talk to people and whatever. But now my dreams have become, oh, I haven't prepared at all. And then I go out, and this was at my college at UT Austin. They're like, all right, you're up. And it's like very famous people, and then me. Like I finally got, like Lynn Powell, Matthew McConaughey, and me, and then I go out and I haven't prepared anything. And I can't remember if I told this story on here before, but I went out and I go, the square root of 69 is eight something, right? Because I've been trying to work it out, and then I drop the mic and I walk off stage, and it was silent. And then everyone started laughing and clapping, and I was like, I just absolutely killed that. - Re-emended the wheel almost. - But then I came down stage, and like all of the uppers were like so mad at me. 'Cause they were like, you didn't prepare anything, you didn't do anything that wasn't even a joke. That's literally a lyric from Oh Nana, what's my name by Rihanna and Drake? - Oh, I thought it was switching positions for you. - I don't know. The square root of 69 is eight something, right? 'Cause I've been trying to work it out all the weed, white wine. Yeah, I come alive in the nighttime. Yeah, okay, where we go? Only thing we have on in the radio, let it play, say you got a roommate. (mumbles) A song I haven't heard in nine years. - At least you have all the lyrics memorized. Thank God. - The things that we gonna do in 20 minutes, ♪ Girl, say my name, say my name ♪ ♪ Win it out ♪ ♪ Getting hot, crack a window, air it out ♪ - I will be on my deathbed, and I'll be able to wrap the wrappers from down. - Should we do it? - Yeah. Down like she's supposed to be, nope. - Oh yeah. (laughs) - All right, ready? - Down like she's supposed to be. She gets down all over me. Down like her temperature, 'cause to me, she's zero degree, she go like, over freeze, I got that girl from overseas. Now she's my Miss America. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Maybe this is the overseas attack that you've been thinking about. - We're just sweating. What does it mean you got that girl from overseas? - I don't, whatever it means, it's not good. - What do you mean by that? - We'll move right along. - Okay. Dancing through life. Wow, everyone's probably seen what goodbye now. - I'm seeing it Friday for sure. - I'm so excited. - Yeah. - I wonder if you'll like it. - I need to show you my hotel. - Okay. - I'll show you the bonus. It's like brilliant. - Bloody brilliant. - It's brilliant. I have a balcony that I'm gonna-- - Ron's been splinched. - Oh my god, that is like a perfect-- - The sand, yes? - That's a perfect segue to all the British food that Izzy brought us. - Oh yeah. - That we'll try in the boat. - Ooh, and the boner's owner. We're gonna be trying British food, you guys. I'm looking forward to the beans. - I'm looking for-- ♪ I'm heart beans ♪ - You so do. - I love beans. - And you know I don't like beans. Baked beans are okay. - That just beans with a pound of sugar on the way. - Yeah, I think that's why I like it. - Baked beans are literally beans from via legume. And then-- ♪ All our legume ♪ ♪ All our papa ♪ - So beans. Beans should be the baby of papa legume. Oh, baby beans. - Wait, because-- ♪ Baby beans ♪ ♪ Baby beans ♪ ♪ Bonjour, baby ♪ ♪ Bonjour, mama ♪ ♪ Como seva ♪ ♪ Baby, I need thirsty ♪ ♪ I need my water ♪ - Cheers. ♪ Babies, babies, itchy ♪ (laughing) - Baby, what? ♪ Itchy ♪ ♪ How many are you a pin and drill ♪ ♪ Baby, pin and bin and drill ♪ - Whoa, I just got scared that this was a dream. - That happens to me all the time when I have two vessels on an empty stomach. - That was weird. Something about you doing what you just did. - Made me think this can't be real. (laughing) - I mean, it's not, nothing's real. Did you see the movie "Inception"? - No, but it was all a dream. - Or was it? Literally, that's the point of the movie. - Don't tell me I want to see it. - No, you don't-- - No, blah, blah. - You don't know. - At least you should shut her island. - There's no closure, no. - Great twist. - I'll watch "Inception" if you-- - I'll watch "Inception." - I told you I want to watch "Inception." - Oh, you should watch it. It's literally a brilliant movie with a brilliant cast and the production value is amazing. And then also, it makes you want to go to Europe. - Awesome. - Mm-hmm, yep. - Mama has to pee so, so, so bad. - Okay. - So, and it is time to go, so I do want to bid you adieu. - Well, I bid you adieu, mama. - Adieu, legume, bye, baby. - Bye. - This week, I'm close friends. - Circle cut Irish potato chips. - Oh my gosh, you're blowing my freaky mind right now. - Eileen, Eileen, Eileen. - Oh, man, I got marmin and I know my panties. - Pooped on in front of me. - Okay, someone pooped on my front. - If you're not-- - If you're at my home, we will express our anal glands. - I just feel like you're not understanding. - No, I hear you. Sign up on tmgstudios.tv to watch a full bonus episode. 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Happy Thanksgiving from Brooke and Connor! This week, the two are dissecting your dreams and figuring out what they really mean. Plus, they talk about their most awkward encounters with the teachers at their school.
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Hosted by Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, Created by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood, and Produced by TMG Studios, Brooke Averick & Connor Wood.
0:00 The New AI Norm
0:57 Intro
1:17 Clone FOMO
4:07 Make Game Show Viral
5:30 Connor's Gastro Update
10:55 State Farm
12:26 Bracelet Haul
17:20 Nature vs Nurture
19:40 Insane Rage
22:55 Aura Frames
24:42 Not Listening To Bullys
28:16 Analyzing Brooke's New Dream
36:19 Skims
38:37 What Does It All Mean?
42:00 The Dream Spectrum
43:50 Wild Teacher Stories
49:00 Robotic Penis Dream
50:09 Attending Your Own Funeral
52:35 Twisted Tea
54:20 Killer Grandma Dream
56:21 Getting Chased Dream
57:23 Freudian Dream
59:43 Connor Is A Minion Influencer
1:01:30 More Freud Content
1:03:22 Performing On Stage Dreams
1:06:00 Rapping Down
1:06:42 Is This Real?
1:09:14 See You In Bonus!!!
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