Ramban on the Torah | 5785 | 06 | Vayetze, by Rav Eli Weber
Did Yaakov hate Leah? Why does Yaakov get angry at Rachel? Why does Yaakov get angry at Lavan?
KMTT - the Torah Podcast
Ramban on the Torah | 5785 | 06 | Vayetze
(upbeat music) Welcome back everyone to another week of Rambhana La Pasha. This week we have this close-up reading Pasha's Valleite. Valleite obviously is the story of the creation of Binei Yisra'a literally and Ami Yisra'a to a certain extent, right? It begins with Yaakov running away from love on, I'm sorry, from Asav and coming to the house of love on and eventually marrying four women and having 12 sons. And that becomes the continuation of Ami Yisra'a. And what I'd like to focus on, at least for the most part, is the character of Yaakov of Inu and the sense we get, often we think, and maybe it's my fault that I emphasize these, that the Rambhan sees fault in the avote. But here, there are two really, really interesting Rambhan's that I think point to the Rambhan's sense of loving Yaakov and defending Yaakov almost against Shuto Shomikra. So let's start with the first example of this. Leia obviously becomes Yaakov's wife, not by accident, but probably also not by hard-doing, right? The sense you get in the Pshukim is that love on substituted Leia for Rahel, the famous Medrish, that Rahel then gave the Simanim to Leia 'cause she saw that she was gonna be humiliated. Okay, but then we have the following. Leia has children. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) I'm hated, that's harsh. And I think the Rambhan is sensitive to the fact that if she's hated, there's only one culprit and that's her husband, Yaakov. Did Yaakov really hate Leia? So the Rambhan is gonna give us two possibilities. One shot and one may be deeper than shot. So says the Rambhan. The Torah says, let's go back one, (speaking in foreign language) So the Rambhan says, look, Hine, (speaking in foreign language) Leia cheated her sister, okay, by getting married to Yaakov in Rahel's place, but also Yaakov, she cheated. (speaking in foreign language) Let's say, says the Rambhan, that love enforced her into it. Love on said, no, no, you're the oldest, you need to get married first. And on some level, it would have been maybe disrespectful to love on if Leia rejected that offer and she refused to get married to Yaakov, okay? So fine. So he says, but if that's the case, (speaking in foreign language) should have in some way let Yaakov of Hine who know that it wasn't Rahel. In addition to that, the Rambhan says, (speaking in foreign language) all night long, when they had relations, she pretended to be her sister, (speaking in foreign language) And Yaakov of Hine then didn't recognize her, says the positive till the morning, till he saw her. (speaking in foreign language) And for that reason, Yaakov of Hine who hated her. 'Cause he said to himself, yes, it could be that you had no choice but to marry me because that's what love unwanted. Okay, well when we got back to the honeymoon suite, you should have let me know in some way that you weren't Rahel. And you didn't do that. And you could see that that would really infuriate, that would really frustrate Yaakov of Hine when he may be exciting. But there may have been reason for him to hate Leia. Now, (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) That Leia did this (speaking in foreign language) Yaakov in his own mind was, it was just Yaakov. He wasn't Yaakov of Hine who he wasn't the third of a vote. He was a person who was morally, you know, compromised. You know, he had stolen the brochote at the request of his mother. And in fact, the Medrus talks about, you know, Yaakov being furious at Leia for cheating him. And Leia's saying, what, you didn't do the same thing to your father? Isn't it Mida, Kennegan, Mida? Yes, I cheated you, but you cheated Asav. And you could see how that would really, really stick in Yaakov's crow. That would really upset him. Okay, so, but Akar Shbok, who said, "No, Leia did all the same Shamaim." She wanted to marry Yaakov of Hine. She wanted to be one of the Imahot. (speaking in foreign language) The Medrus says, Yaakov was so angry that he decided to divorce Leia, which is really like a question you should ask yourself. Okay, love unsheated Yaakov and got him to marry Leia. But the next day, he could have divorced her. He could have said, it wasn't the deal. She's not my wife. I'm gonna marry Rahel, but he didn't do that. So, the Medrus explains. (speaking in foreign language) Since presumably, Leia became pregnant immediately. And Yaakov's soul was going on. (speaking in foreign language) So, Yaakov rethought it. I'm gonna divorce this, she's gonna be a single mother. I'm gonna take the children right there. There is no divorce in the Torah. It's the Halah of divorce. But there's nobody I think in (speaking in foreign language) who ever actually gets divorced. So, then he saw that and he said, (speaking in foreign language) And therefore, he gave our children immediately and that saved her marriage to Yaakov. But according to the first chart of the Rambanis, yes. Yaakov of Hine who was furious with Leia, he hated her for what she had done. Especially for the whole night long when she could have told him at any point that she was Leia and she didn't, and he held that against her. So, kind of, it's a justified hatred. But it says to him on the second shot. (speaking in foreign language) Says the Ramban, you know, the Torah says it later on and say (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) So first of all, many (speaking in foreign language) maybe we'll do it when we get there. Many (speaking in foreign language) That's exactly what happened with Yosef and the brothers. It's exactly what happened with Yaakov and his sons. That Leia was a (speaking in foreign language) was the (speaking in foreign language) But that's not what the Ramban is gonna say here. The Rambanis is gonna say no. When you love one wife, the other one, by definition, becomes a sinu'an, not 'cause she's hated, but because she's number two. And that's a painful thing to be. And we'll see this in a later Ramban today. But that's a painful thing to be. (speaking in foreign language) That possek is inconsistent with ours. (speaking in foreign language) Means he loved both. But he loved (speaking in foreign language) He's a human being. She's the one he met first. She's the one he worked for for seven years. She's the one he loved. So Leia, by definition, becomes a sinu'an, not because Yaakov hated her God forbid, but because when you're not the beloved, the other word for the second wife, for the least favorite wife in the Torah is sinu'a. The height now, he says. (speaking in foreign language) Somehow it was even more embarrassing to Leia. Yaakov didn't hate her, but he loved Ra'al Moore. And presumably everybody knew that. And Leia being number two, and literally she's number two. Meaning she's not number two because she's hated. She's number two because there's a number one. And okay, if you're number two in the polls, that's not terrible. Okay, you're almost number one. But if you're number two in the wives, that's terrible. Your perception is that your husband hates you. For Ra'al O'Kimethanyan. So God rewarded her because of the perception that she was hated. But again, the first shot is yes. Yaakov really hated her and he hated her for good reason. That's a defense of Yaakov's character. The second one is even more of a defense of Yaakov's character. He didn't hate her. The other person can make clear. He loved her. He just didn't love her as much as Ra'al. To Leia, that made our sinu'a. That's what the Torah calls wife number two. Not 'cause she's hated, but just because she's wife number two, she becomes a sinu'a. And Akodesh Bar, who rewarded her for being this sinu'a. And she had all the children that she had. Okay, that's the first point. Now, second point. How could it be that Yaakov of Enu reacted so negatively to Ra'al when she asked him to dive in for her? (speaking in foreign language) It's a mean thing to say, right? Am I in place of God, God's not giving you children? It's not me, says the Ramban. (speaking in foreign language) It's a mean thing to say, right? Am I in place of God? God's not giving you children. It's not me, says the Ramban. (speaking in foreign language) Which does seem like (speaking in foreign language) That's Rashi. Rashi says, (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) I don't get it. (speaking in foreign language) So why did Yaakov get so angry? Yes, (speaking in foreign language) And he should have (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) God listens to prayer, right? (speaking in foreign language) That God made the Imahot acarot 'cause he wanted their Tfilos. (speaking in foreign language) What a mean thing to say. The measure says that Yaakov said to her, "I have children." It's you that God is refusing to give children to not me. (speaking in foreign language) Okay, but Yaakov in was it static. Why wouldn't he down for his own wife? For his beloved wife, (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) They weren't even Jewish women, but they supported them and they prayed for them. (speaking in foreign language) So at this point, the Ramban is saying yeah, that's why Hazal got Yaakov. That's why Hazal were angry at Yaakov. (speaking in foreign language) That's how you respond to a woman distress. (speaking in foreign language) On my life, (speaking in foreign language) Your children, meaning, (speaking in foreign language) et cetera, will have to stand in judgment in front of Yosef, the child of Raquel, which is what happened. Okay, so right now Yaakov doesn't sound good at all, but (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) Is Raquel said, (speaking in foreign language) Yes, she meant diving for me, but not a regular diving. (speaking in foreign language) She's gonna commit suicide. (speaking in foreign language) Listen, if you don't give Raquel children, she's gonna kill herself. And says the Ramban, (speaking in foreign language) Right, her jealousy of her sister lay caused her to speak improperly and threatened suicide. (speaking in foreign language) He won't just dive in. He'll demand the Rakarish bahu. He'll wear a Rakarish bahu, he'll wear a sackcloth, he'll fast, he'll tell the Rakarish bahu. Do this, or that's the end. (speaking in foreign language) So that's what Yaakovino objected to. He was happy to dive in for her, and he would've dive in for her, and he almost certainly did dive in for her. But he didn't feel like he was in a position to demand the Rakarish bahu, give her children, or if not, she's gonna kill herself. That seemed inappropriate to Yaakovino, and that's what he objected to. And now, let's keep going. The next puzzle, and this is the main point. The Ramban says, (speaking in foreign language) Says the Ramban, and we know this in our own lives, that God listens to Tfilot. But it's not like if you're excited, God is obligated to listen to your Tfilot. Sometimes, Sadiqima turned down also. (speaking in foreign language) And because she threatened him, Yaakovino loved Raquel. But you could feel the pressure he felt from Raquel saying, "Give me children." And Yaakov's saying, "I'm trying my hardest." But Akarish Bahu's not doing it. And then he got angry at her, because she threatened suicide, and she threatened consequences for God not listening to Yaakov. And the sense you get is, Yaakov says, "I'm doing my best. "I'm davening every day. "I'm saying to him, "I'm doing all the things it's supposed to do." God says no. (speaking in foreign language) Yaakovino said, "It's not up to me. "Yes, I'm the son of Yitzchak. "Yes, I'm the grandson of Avrahamovino." But sometimes, God says no. (speaking in foreign language) And he's angry, and he says, (speaking in foreign language) God is saying no to you, not to me. Brother Amban's gonna explain that, 'cause that's the harshest line. He says, (speaking in foreign language) It's like he's slapping across the face. She needs to understand what's going on. (speaking in foreign language) When she realized that she can't rely on her husband, it's not something that Yaakovino has within his power to do. If he did, certainly she would have been the mother of, I don't know, tens of kids. (speaking in foreign language) Once she realized that, she davened for herself. (speaking in foreign language) The pulse doesn't tell us that she daven, but the pulse says that God answered her, which is different than her mother, and not her mother. It's different than Yaakov's mother, right? The Torah there says, we discussed this last week, (speaking in foreign language) That God answered the prayer of Yitzchal, not Rifka. Here the Torah says, God answered the prayer of Rahel, and so we know for a fact that Rahel davened. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) And now it says, this is the main point of the Ramban, and his main defense of Yaakovovino. (speaking in foreign language) It's impossible that Yaakovino didn't daven for his wife, for his beloved wife, for his number one wife, who was prevented by nature, and by God from having children. (speaking in foreign language) His feeler wasn't accepted. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) Rahel comes and says, no, you have to demand of God that he does, (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) and compared herself to Rifka. And she said, just like Yitzchal daven to God, and he gave your mother, children, you have to do it for me. And then, with that comparison, like Yaakov felt hurt. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) It's not up to him, it's up to God. Now, the main point. (speaking in foreign language) Okay, it's true, his father was exotic. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) The main point, says the Ramban. God promised my father, children. He had no children. So when Yitzchal daven takarish bahu, he could demand. Look, you told me, I'm gonna have children. You have to give me children. You have to fulfill your promise. But says, Yaakov, and not in a mean way, God promised me children, but he gave me children already. Yes, I'm sad that the children I got are through my number two wife, through Leia, and not through you. I'm sad. But I can't make demands of Akarish bahu, 'cause you already fulfilled his promise. I can just ask. And that's really the bottom line. Says the Ramban Yaakov of Inu wasn't disrespecting Rahel, he loved Rahel. But he felt put upon, and he felt pressured. She was demanding of him something that he couldn't deliver. 'Cause God loves Tfilos, it's true, but God decides on his own, which Tfilos he's gonna respond to, and which Tfilos he's not gonna respond to. And so therefore, Yaakovino kind of felt like he was being pressured by Rahel unfairly, and he responded in anger, but in anger according to the Ramban, that's justified. Okay, so there are two places already where the Ramban defends the Yaakov's character. Both, the fact that he didn't really hate Leia, and second, in the fact that he wasn't as mean to Rahel, as the Sukhim seemed to imply. Okay, let's do one more Ramban. Says the Torah, okay? The story goes, Rahel stole the Trafim, some type of idol, some type of method of divination from our father, and then love on Chase's Yaakov, mostly Chase's Yaakov, 'cause Yaakov left with his grandchildren and with his daughters, but also looking for the Trafim, okay? And so the pastor says that Yaakov says, fine, look wherever you want, and he looks wherever he wants, and he can't find it, 'cause Rahel was hiding it under the saddle of the camel, and she told her father that she couldn't get up. Okay, now, all of a sudden, (speaking in foreign language) Yaakov gets furious, and he argues with LaVon. (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) And then he goes on, (speaking in foreign language) (speaking in foreign language) I worked night and day for you for 20 years, and you treat him like a crook, and you treat him as disrespectfully, and you're accusing me of all kinds of terrible things, that's not right. And the Ramban explains this follows. (speaking in foreign language) It's a really an interesting insight. It says the Ramban. (speaking in foreign language) Originally, Yaakov inu said, "Well, okay, look wherever you want." (speaking in foreign language) Yaakov inu can't say to LaVon, you know, it's not here, yes, to LaVon, look. And if you find it, put it between us, and we'll see who's right and who's wrong. (speaking in foreign language) That is the genius of the Ramban. He says originally, (speaking in foreign language) Yaakov inu didn't know for sure that he knew he didn't steal it. He didn't know that somebody else in his party didn't steal. He didn't know it was one of his wives. He didn't know it was one of his grandchildren, one of his slaves. So he had to let LaVon look. (speaking in foreign language) But now that he saw that it wasn't anybody, now he's furious. (speaking in foreign language) He thought, "LaVon knows that the traffic more install." And he has them. He's looking for excuses to punish Yaakov. (speaking in foreign language) Why'd you chase me like I'm a thief? (speaking in foreign language) Not only didn't you find something that belongs to you here, I should have taken stuff from you. I worked for you for all those years. You know, (speaking in foreign language) And you kept changing, you know, how much I'm supposed to be paid. And that seems like it's a true thing. The Ramban elsewhere says, Yaakov inu wouldn't say to LaVon. (speaking in foreign language) LaVon would know if it wasn't true. It must be that it really was true. So all of a sudden Yaakov feels the ability and maybe even the obligation to air all of his grievances with LaVon and to complain bitterly about how he was treated. (speaking in foreign language) Even animals that died on their own. You would make me pay you for them. (speaking in foreign language) None of these things were the halacha, none of these things were required. But I went (speaking in foreign language) I did all these things for you and you weren't at all grateful. And so the sense you get in the Ramban is that Yaakov of Inu had all these grievances and they were all correct. When LaVon chased him, he did leave without telling LaVon, right? And there was a sense of, you know, (speaking in foreign language) that by taking his daughters and by taking his grandchildren without saying goodbye and he had good reason for it. But maybe Yaakov in his heart felt a little guilty about that. And when LaVon catches up to him and accuses him of stealing the trophy, Yaakov of Inu has no choice A, but to let him do it and B, not to respond in anger 'cause he couldn't be sure that in fact, one of his part didn't steal the trophy. But when LaVon goes into everybody's tent and goes back to the tent of Rahel and can't find anything and he, you know, then Yaakov of Inu gets to self-confidence and feels like this is all a setup. It's just another trick from LaVon. He's gonna pretend now that he stole the trophy. He has the trophy. He knows I didn't steal it. He's gonna pretend. He's gonna treat me like a thief. He's gonna disrespect me. Now I'm gonna let him have it. And then Yaakov, you know, goes in this whole soliloquy saying, I've worked for you for 20 years, night and day, right? (speaking in foreign language) In good weather, in bad weather, I did everything for you and you made claims against me that weren't acceptable under the current law, weren't acceptable under the future law either. And I did it anyway and I paid you for them 'cause I wanted to do the right thing with you because I am after all that I've been through with you, with a self, each time. I'm an honest, complete, fair person and you're taking advantage of me. And now I'm telling you that it's wrong and that leads to the peace treaty or some kind of treaty that they make, whether it's right or wrong, but that's really the end of this week's Persia. That Yaakov Veenu finally has the strength of character to tell love on what he really thinks, to accuse love on all these things that love and really did, and to clear his conscience and to tell him all these things and love it apparently takes it well 'cause love on that says, okay, you know, let's make a deal, you'll be good to my daughters, you won't pass this galhazah and I won't pass it to the lira'ah. And somehow that's what will be. And in fact, that's what did happen. We never really hear of love on again. That's just an episode in Yaakov Veenu's life and in the formation of Khali Israel. And based on that, Yaakov Veenu moves forward. So basically, we saw in the Raman this week, a lot of defense of Yaakov Veenu's character. A lot of times where you'd say to yourself and it's often said, and it's said for a reason. You know, the Torah describes Yaakov as each time, but he was anything but, look at his life and look at all the people he cheated. But the Torah here, here, the Raman goes out of his way to say that Yaakov Veenu was a straight person, was an honest person, his responses were appropriate and proper for the situation. Either Laer deserved to be hated or he didn't really hate Laer. He just loved Rahel more. He was never mean to Rahel. Rahel asked of him things. He should do what his father did, but says the Raman, his father had no children. So he could demand of God to fulfill his promise. I have children. And finally, his relationship with love on. In which the Raman points out and the Sukhim seem to point out that he says all these things to love and they must be true. He really worked incredibly hard and incredibly honestly, honestly for love on. And love on really did mistreat him and love on really did ask of him things that were not to did or not to Halacha, that shouldn't have been. And he did all of them. And in the end, love on still treats him like a crook. Yeah, we know that Rahel stole the Trophim, it's true. But Yaakov didn't know this and love on didn't know this. And Yaakov takes advantage of that situation to basically tell love on how he's been mistreated all these years. Love on accepted that. They made a peace treaty and the story continues. Okay, that's it for this week. Yaash Khark to everybody and see you next week. God willing. (upbeat music) [MUSIC PLAYING]