I don't know if you do like a hard intro. I played it and I go... You played it. We talked for like, sometimes 5-10 minutes before we say, "Oh yeah, by the way, this is who I'm with." I'm like, "This is how I start." No, I will be proper and silent for you. Intro me. Billy, are you ready to get in bed with me? Yeah, yes I am. Okay, that's how I started. Okay. So very forward question. Very forward question. It makes me very nervous. Really? Oh yeah. Are you nervous with me in bed with me? I'm nervous when you ask me on a recorded device, Billy, you're ready to get in bed with me. And I'm like, "This does feel like the start of a porno." It literally, if you could see, it looks like a porn set, but like it's not. It could be. Maybe it should be, but it's not at the moment. It's a great porn set, but outside this bedroom, terrible acoustics. So for more like silent porn feature, or something with like a lot of bass, like a soundtrack, but acoustics out there, terrible. How did you know that? Because I walked in, it's big, it's open, it's echo-y. Yeah, well you can hear everything everywhere, which is. Yeah, well this is a better room for like a recording, but like out there looks like a beautiful porn set where the audio would be terrible. You'd be like, "There's a lot of echo on the ass claps." Yes, okay, anyway, everyone. Like stop trying to be funny, Prasita. Yeah, Billy, stop. Everyone, this is Billy Prasita, host of the main horror podcast, and as you can see, a comedian. Allegedly, yeah. Allegedly, a comedian. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you for having me. Can you tell everyone why you just posted in your story, Sleece? Oh. (laughing) I, I... So I asked you to be on the pod, last time I was here months ago. Right. Didn't happen. But you had mentioned, would you be okay wearing lingerie? And I was like, I don't know if I need that on video for free. Yes. That's an only fans type of product. Yes. So you're like, that's cool, that's cool. Months later, you're coming back. I saw you had Zachary, you're like, okay, you wanna do the pod? I'm like, definitely. I saw that you had Zachary's ain' on, and he's not wearing a shirt in the bed. 'Cause Zach never wears a shirt if he can avoid it. But that's just who he is. Sure. And so you then came to the naked comedy show on Friday night. So you watched me be naked for over an hour. So that, all that context, I was like, oh, what's the dress code for this thing? But, okay, but I thought you were kidding. Oh no, I was here. 'Cause I think I had seen maybe, was there like another episode you did with a woman in lingerie? Lola came in lingerie. Oh, my biggest fan. Really? No, like the exact opposite. Why? Long story, it's very confusing to me too. But it's fine. Okay, well, anyway, Lola's here in. But in lingerie, right? She's like, can I wear lingerie? I was like, obviously, I'm gonna wear this. So she asked you. She asked me feels okay. I said, you can wear whatever you want. I'm gonna wear this. But then I have lingerie underneath. So we took a picture in lingerie. See that? Okay, so all of that together, then I asked what's the dress code. And you said, jock strap or nothing? Because I just come from a comedy show. I'm sorry, can I not also be funny? I mean, I just, it was very plausible for the context of all that stuff. Without all that other stuff, I always thought you were just making a funny. Right. But I thought it was like, oh, okay, I guess. So like Zachary would wear a jock strap on this. So I was like, all right, I was like, I don't know if I want to wear a jock strap. I'm not too flat on it right now, but what was that? You still said yes. Well, yeah, well, cause you said jock strap or nothing. So I would have done nothing of those two because I don't think I'm in very like jock strap form. So at that point, I would be in nothing. You would have not worn lingerie for free. What do you, would have been naked for free? Well, I don't think we would have been naked where we would have been like under the covers or something like that is what I thought. Right. So I think I was reasonably confused. So like half an hour ago, he's like, was that serious? We know. Well, I was about to take a shower. I was getting ready to leave. And then like by the time you responded, I was already on the train. I know I was taking enough to get ready for this. So I was just like, I hope, okay. When you said, I was like, good. Cause I, my options were jeans or nothing. That's what, that's what I came prepared for when I didn't hear back. I was like, I am, I'm happy that you still agreed to do it even though I was kidding. I mean, yeah. Okay. Well, you think I would turn it down because we weren't going to be in lingerie? Like it because we're like, look, I don't do no podcasts with a lady person unless she's got a clothes off. No, but you had initially said no to lingerie. So yeah, cause lingerie, cause again, like lingerie draws more attention to the shape and form of my body. I think then just my body on its own. If that makes sense. Yeah. Like a jockstrap is such a little amount of clothing that it will just like accentuate like that is going to fold over that waistband in a way that doesn't look as, as big and foldy naked depending on my angles. Yeah. So I don't think I would have wanted to wear just like a jockstrap. I would have wanted to wear nothing or something. I was like more form fitting or like boxers and a t-shirt or something. Right. But like yeah, jockstrap alone, I'm not in jockstrap form right now. Okay. I'm working on it. Well, then we're glad we're close. Yeah. Okay. Let's begin. Oh, now we're beginning, okay. Yeah. So I heard a few of the things that you have talked about, right? But I want you to give us a few, like a summary of your journey, your childhood from getting bullied to being a webcam person to people judging you for sleeping with too many people to today, like just walk me through it. I mean, that's a, that's a big long story. Is there anything in particular you feel like you're most curious about? Man, those, the things that I mentioned. All of that. I mean, that's, I mean, it's like three things. The bullying alone could take up an hour. Um, yeah, I got bullied a lot as a kid. Uh, I got made fun of for my body. Apparently I was a chubby kid. I look back at pictures now. I don't think so, but whatever. My kids are mean. Kids are very mean. And like, I didn't get, I didn't get bullied. Like, everyone gets picked on a little bit. I mean, like I got, like, I got bullied so much. I was on a red flag list after Columbine. Not because I was violent. I didn't, I wasn't into like guns. I wasn't into like shoot them up games. I didn't wear trench coats. I just like got bullied that much that after Columbine, they like put me on a list to keep an eye on. Cause it's easier to keep an eye on one kid than actually discipline the ones who were being shitty. So, uh, you know, that, that's kind of like a lot of my background there. And I don't, yeah, I don't know what the fast forward through or not. Okay, so until what age did you get bullied? Or did I get bullied? Got out of high school, you know? Like, I mean, it was like from first grade through 17. And did you switch schools between them and you still got bullied? I went to a K through eight grade school. Okay. Right. So I was like with the same 100 kids for nine years. And then I went to a boarding school in Connecticut. Cause I wanted to get away from the bullies. But there's something about me and it's very bullyable. So like, cause anywhere I went, like kids would pick on me. They'd like somehow knew to target me. Somewhere I got the boarding school. Same thing happened there. Happened to sportscams. Happened to sleep or like anywhere I went. Kids somehow knew like that one is going to cry. Yeah, how did you handle it? Would you fight back? Would you just shut down? Like, did you cry? What would you do? Every which way. I tried everything. You tried everything. I did a lot. It was, you know, it was not a fun time. When I got high school was when I got like fun. Like, which girls were interested in me. I had a lot of crushes. I would write like a lot of love poetry in middle school and high school. But like, you know, girls weren't like interested in like kissing me or doing anything. But then I go from high school to college and it just like exploded. Okay. Yeah. Okay. But in high school, while this was still happening in junior year or whatever, you were doing web camming. No, no, no, no. I was in college. Junior senior year of college. Yeah. Otherwise that would be illegal. I know. Yeah. No, no, no, no. I web cammed junior senior year of college. Okay. Yeah. So you got to college. Things went a little crazy. You got the attention that you hadn't had before. Right. Yeah. And you started sleeping with a decent amount of people. Yeah. Decent's a good word. Yeah. We can go with that. Yeah. It feels safe. It feels safe. Yeah. And then you mentioned that people, I mean women, would sleep with you, but they, you were looking for a relationship and they wouldn't go past sleeping with you. Well, sometimes I was like looking for a relationship as much as when I wanted to escalate any particular relationship, because there's some people you sleep with and like, that's exactly what that should be. Yes. And some people were like, oh, I'd like some more. So whenever I wanted to escalate things, it was always the woman who told me she wanted to keep it casual. And this would happen a lot. And, you know, I was told, the culture has been told that it's supposed to be in reverse. Right. You know, I'm supposed to just try to get it in. And she's supposed to try to nail me down. And, you know, men and women, they're different. And, but then I was having this, this problem. But they also would like continue to sleep with me. I also noticed that like, I'd say I want more, or I have these feelings for you. Yeah. And they would be like, keep your feelings to yourself. But do come over on Thursday and do that thing with your talent that I like. And I'm like, all right. So like, I was kind of pigeonholed as like a sex guy. Right. For a while. And it would just happen a lot. And so the inspiration for my show, The Man or Podcast, was I would, I was, when it happened for like the umpteenth time, I decided let's ask them like, why? So I started a podcast interviewing my exes and my past hookups, you know, about sex dating, love, and why we didn't work out. Okay. What was the consensus? I mean, there's no consensus, right? You know, everyone had a different reason. It's always different. And sometimes there wasn't even really a reason, right? Like, I mean, I was like notorious for starting to date people when they're dating multiple people and they would like choose the other guy, or they would go to grad school or they'd move. So sometimes it's just bad timing. And sometimes there was something about myself. Sometimes, you know. And they were a friend about it in the podcast? Yeah, depending on the podcast. Yeah. I actually didn't like the thing you did with your tongue or whatever. No, I never got that feedback. That was always pretty consistent. That was always good. Yeah, that always was like, we liked when you did things in bed. But outside of that, plenty of problems, probably. So how did you learn both bed techniques? Watch. I don't know. I listened to like dance average and I mean, so I was a big stand-up comedy nerd since middle school, right? Big comedy nerd. Didn't have a lot of friends. Had a lot of comedians to listen to. And so even like as far back as like the early 2000s, I would hear like female comics make fun of men for not eating pussy. And I would hear dudes, dude comics joke about like finding the clitoris. And the more enlightened ones were making fun of guys who claim they couldn't find it. But just I knew that there was an issue going on. I knew that guys weren't trying. I knew that there was this clip thing that is going to elude me. There's a G spot that allegedly doesn't exist. Like whatever, these are my early like 12 year old opinions on sex. But you took it like you were like, okay, this is good. Like this will help me in the future and you did some research. Well, because comedies like there's always like kernels of truth in the comedy, right? So if enough women joke about men not going down on women, then there's got to be some truth to like generally, where at least the decent amount men weren't going down women. So I knew at a young age was like, I have to when that happens, whenever it is, like I'm going down. Like the first time I hooked up with a girl was like New Year's Eve, sophomore year of high school. And like we were in some like basement storage room, something on the ground. But like, okay, I knew enough to like, I'm 15. And I know enough like, I go down on her first. Like I touch her first before I even had her like touch my dick or blow me or whatever. But that's so interesting because you, you knew you wanted to be a good lover. Whoever it pays, whoever wants this can pay attention to everything. All the messages women have been saying for years and just try. Like the effort is enough to become like good in bed. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you have to like want to do it because you can tell the difference between a guy who's eating you out and doesn't really want to, but it's like just doing it. And a guy who fucking loves having then his face, right, like different vibes. I don't let people go down me if they're not obsessed with it. Yeah, right. Like I'm like you, no, like you, no, you have to want it more than me. If not, you're not going down there. Honestly, even for me, like getting head, like if, if a chick's blowing me and she doesn't seem like she likes doing that, if I can pick up on that, I might say, let's do something else. Because it's not hot for me to watch you not enjoy doing what you're doing. I agree. Within a lot of people would just be like, suck my dick. Well, there's a lot of guys who just want to come. I don't even think they like women. I think they just, I think they just want to come. I think there's some men who have been like raised to want to achieve to succeed, to come, to get, to come. No, coming is the only thing that matters. Right. But it's all about like getting and winning and succeeding and being rewarded. And I, you know, like I heard this dude, this young comic, I'm outside of a comedy club like two months ago. And at one point, he's like really new to comedy. He's like, I want to run this joke by you. I'm like, okay. And the joke is about like how he tries to get out of eating out his girlfriend. He's like like the like the dumb excuses that he, I mean, you know, anything can be funny, but this kid's not being funny about it. But yeah, his excuses, like they're like these like lame, the joke is that he's supposed to come up with these outlandish excuses to not go down her. But comedy requires exaggeration. And it's not a big exaggeration to think you don't love eating pussy. And even he admits like, well, you know, I don't love it. And I thought like, if you don't like pussy, that's okay. It's okay if you don't like women. I don't think he likes pussy. Yeah. And, but like he wants to culturally be straight. I feel like that there's a lot of guys where like they don't like women. They like being straight, whatever that means. Macho, whatever the fuck they think in their head that they have to be. Yeah, but they don't like listening to them. They don't like laughing at them. They don't like eating them out. I'm like, maybe you don't like women. That's okay. So okay, but like accepted. But if a guy's like, I just don't eat pussy outside of some sort of like weird traumatic reason. Like the guy is just like, I just don't enjoy pussy in my face. And he's also maybe not. I mean, this is part of me just goes like, I just don't think like women. I have just, I really, I really believe it. No, I mean, I, if you don't have to like it, but like, if you don't like it, you're not coming anywhere near me. Okay, so you were eating pussy ever since your first hookup, which is amazing. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think a lot of teenagers were not eating pussy until like the 20s. Well, like that's what the porn was showing me. That was like the order of reparations. Like you have a heavy make out and then you like take clothes off and then you like warm her up and then she like does stuff to your dick or vice versa. And then you fuck. And like, we were only doing oral that drunk in New Year's Eve hookup in someone's storage room. But you know, that's fun. Well, yeah, but you learned. Yeah. You picked up the good things in porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so I was always into that. And then like in college, I think I was starting to learn like how to like listen to someone's body. Yeah. And just like pay attention to those like nonverbal cues or those like involuntary muscle reactions. You know, those like clues that tell you you're doing a good job. So that was, you know, like if none of them were happening, I might not be doing a good job. I got to check in, but yeah, no, I just like had a lot of fun in college. You know, I went to NYU. I was like surrounded by women surrounded by gay men. Yeah. So I did okay. Okay. And so this is what inspired your podcast and its name, Man or Podcast. How are we with that term right now? Like, is it just the name of your podcast? Do you identify? Do you hate it? Is it like me? I mean, I never identify like as a man who are the reason I called the show the Man or Podcast was because I was noticing some women kind of dismissing me as a potential boyfriend. I was worried women were dismissing me as a potential boyfriend because I had been like, slutty and sexually adventurous. I mean, I done a lot of stuff on Craigslist and I had done the web camming and like, I attended like a Bukaki and I attend, I tried to go to a gangbang and then the chick didn't show up. So whatever. And yeah, yeah. So, and I was worried. Sometimes women go like, "Oh my God, you're such a man whore." And like, they're being fun and flirty about it. But it almost felt like that's why this won't be serious. And so that's part of why I titled the podcast that way. It's a way to be like the Man or Podcasts, even though that's not like a term I was going around be like, "Hey, what's up? I'm a man whore." Yeah. That was never me. But I don't know. Something about that being a slutty guy made me worry like, was I too slutty to be loved? Okay. And what is your relationship with the word now? Or is it just literally the name of your podcast? Yes, the name. It was always just the name of the podcast. Yeah. But it had a backstory, but now do you have that issue? Still. I mean, yes and no, yes in a different way. I think being non-monogamous definitely can freak people out and scare people off. You know, it's interesting. I reconnected with someone last year who we were talking. And you know, she's been mistreated and she's been kind of a serial monogamous. And she never felt safe in any of those relationships. She often didn't feel desired enough in those relationships. And so if you don't feel safe, you don't feel desired, you don't feel secure, you don't feel loved, why would you ever be okay with non-monogamous? Like, even if you are non-monogamous, you still want a lot of those basic core things, right? Yes. It's not an excuse to just go like fuck around freely. And be treated like shit. Right, right. Also, like even casual dating, like casual sex is not an excuse to disrespect somebody, right? Like you still got to like treat them like a person, not just a whole. Unless your casual relationship is just about them being a whole, that you both agree to, right? You both agree to breathe that whole, do your thing. But yes, I agree with what you're saying for sure. And so I, you know, she was asking me about non-monogamy, about my last relationship. And she's like, but when she had sex with other people, you felt this. I was like, no, it was good. And but when she had sex with other people, did you ever worry about like, I was like, no, because if I'm getting everything I need in a relationship, then I don't really care too much about the sexual fidelity part. Like that's not really, I don't really care about sex. I care that I'm like, again, safe and comfortable. And I'm getting all the things I need, like attention, time with you, sex, whatever. As I, as I keep like kind of dismissing the concerns she had for myself, she goes, huh. And I was like, have you never felt those things in relationships? She said, no, I was like, you think maybe if you had those things, you feel secure enough to be in an open relationship. And she like said, maybe because if she had all these things that she hasn't had in any of her monogamous relationships, is the sex still that big of a deal? Maybe not. Mr. Question, your beliefs people and ask for what you need. Yeah. People identify a certain way all the time and it's like, but do you? Yeah. Are you actually sure? Yeah. I mean, I think monogamy is a valid option, I suppose. And but I think it's something, an option you should choose. I don't think you should default into monogamy. You should choose it out of a lineup of options of valid options. But if we don't know that non monogamy is an option and the non monogamy looks truly an infinite different number of ways, monogamy really only looks one way. Because as soon as you have sex with other people, you're no longer monogamous. So I think you should choose monogamy if that's what you want. But you can't choose if you don't know there are other options. And so I think like a light maybe went off in her head where she's like, wow. Maybe that's an option and maybe it won't be. But like she at least knows that there can be a safe, secure, non monogamous relationship. And maybe she'd rather be in that than an insecure monogamous one. Yes. No, you said it perfectly. I love it. Okay. So talk to me about the web camming. How did that start? What happened? Where did you get the idea? So summer before. And what is web camming mean for every mile? Web camming means. Web camming is when somebody gets on a webcam and then does some silly, slutty, sexy, dirty things on the webcam usually in exchange for money. You know, a variety of things. It's funny when I tell people I have the only fans now, you know, people be like, what do you do on the only fans? I go like, what a lot of most people do on only fans. Like what's the confusion? Just because like I don't have abs and I look like this, you know, we're confused. No, so what'd you do when you webcam for people naked? What do you fucking think I did? I took my fucking dick out and I touched in a variety of manners. How did you start? So summer before junior year of college, I got like birthday money or whatever. I'm a June baby and I don't know. Wait, is that like Gemini or the next one? Cancer. I'm a Gemini. I'm early June. But I also, my astrological sign is whatever is most compatible with having sex with me. So I love that. That's all you're all I know. I don't know much about Australia. So don't come for me. I'm a Libra. I'm a Gemini, unless you think I'm Q and rather I be something else. And I'll lie about being born in late November, if you want me to. That's okay. I'll tell my family to play along on Facebook. Anyway, you got birthday money and this woman hates me trying to be funny. Okay. No, it's fine. So go to naked comedy show if you want to see Billie be a comedian. I will bring it in. No, no, you can be funny. No, no, no. I'll do it like a historian. You know, back in the summer of 2010. 2010? Are you just a few? You sure a little bit. 2009, we've been 2000. I'm 34. Yeah. But anyways, I see, I always seen ads for like webcaming and whatnot. And, you know, I know we're supposed to like hashtag pay for our porn a little bit or whatever. So I thought like, let me try out this webcaming thing. And so I took some of the birthday money, signed up for some sort of like webcaming site. And I popped around a few girls and did some tipping. I came a couple times and then I was like, yeah, this is, this is a lot of money. It was like going to a strip club. Strip clubs, not for me. Strip clubs, valid, go to them if you like them. They're fun. Yeah, but I'm a professional poor person. A strip club is just, it's so much money for not much. Yes. Like you're not getting a lot for what you spend compared to other forms of sex work. Yes. Okay. Look, if I made a lot of money, like maybe I'd be more of a strip club. I'm sure you spend it on something else. You wouldn't fucking know. I'm a professional poor person. Okay. I talk about my dick for a living. I got, you know, it's, there's a, there's a minimal budget for sex work. And honestly, like I can get happy ending massage for not that at the time. Inflation, but at the time, like 15 years ago, I could get a happy ending massage for not that much more than one lap dance for one song. So again, it's just like the economics of strip clubs. The economics of webcam enjoyment doesn't work for me and my income. But that's just for me. Maybe, maybe one day as a, as a, as a prosperous Billy. Maybe I'd be more of a strip club guy, but I'm not. So with webcamming, I, I did it a few times. I watched a few times and it's just like, this is a lot of money for not a lot. But then I thought maybe I could do that. I like showing off. I like to think I put on a good show. Do you throw the arm out a lot? You gotta, you gotta, you can't just, can't just hunch over and do this. Billy is used to exaggerating because he's a comedian. So I'm not. I think I'm very serious right now. I'm sorry. I can't, but I'm serious. You can't just, you don't, if you're trying to show someone you jacking off, you don't just hunch over and do this. It ain't cute. Do I look cute right now? I don't think I look very cute right now. But if I'm like, splayed out, if I'm relaxed, you go along. Like, I mean, it's not that big. But like, you know, you're like throwing like a little shoulder, the elbow out, just to, to show something, show that you're doing some movement. See, that's, that's a better look. Okay. So you're like, I could do that. So I, I, I follow the form to sign up and I signed up. And then like, pretty quickly was, there's also a different era of webcaming. Cause now it's all about like the tokens and whatever. Back then, it was just really straight up. You charge a certain amount of money per minute to be in my private room. And then you could also tip. So like that's the, the era I was in. But yeah, like I would open up my laptop while I was doing my homework. I'd open my window and I would just kind of like chill there. And I'd like do homework, write a paper or like play Madden or something. And then if it pinged in that someone was in my room, I just stopped. And I'd be like, oh, hey, what's going on? You know, talk, whatever. Maybe I'd take some clothes off, maybe I jerked it. And then they left and then I was like, okay, back to my video game. Did that for a couple of years. Did it make good money or? Yeah, I was making like a hundred to 500 a week, like doing it very part time as a college kid. You know, back then that was something. That was good beer. It was good beer money. Right now that's like breathing in New York. I mean, yes, it did cost me $1,700 to get here today. Because I breathed way too much oxygen, way too much. So yeah, no, no. So I did that and it was like making good money. And it was like beer money and condom money at the time. And that was fun. And I stopped doing it probably like a year or so after I graduated or like the year after graduation. Okay. And who knew what's the secret? Did everyone know where you open about it? How did it work? It's pretty open. Yeah, like I never really was like hiding the sexuality because I never got sexual shame. Yeah. Like my family never gave that to me. So like I never knew I was supposed to hide certain things about my sex life or feel weird because there's always just like, yeah, whatever sex, we're all doing it, right? Right. Okay. But if your family didn't give it to you, usually society takes on that role, right? I mean, you've got that. I'm one of those boy people. What does that mean? I don't think society gives my, I don't think society gives men shame about sex. The same way they just give it to you. Right. I think society will like, if a family doesn't teach a young girl to be shameful about sex, society will certainly give it a try. Yeah. In a way that I don't think they do for me. Okay. At least I think so. But I think a lot of men feel shame. Maybe with their families, like Sock even speaks about this. Like his mom was like, they're super open and he was still shameful about a lot of things. Where he was also wrestling with some queerness and you know, real. I see your point. There's a little bit of that. But yeah, no, I just didn't know I was supposed to be like ashamed of sex. So I wasn't. And so yeah, it was like pretty open. I would tell people, I think like the first couple of months I was shy about it. But then I was like, yeah, I get paid to take my dick out. Isn't that cool? And like people thought it was interesting because it's different. It's also if you say it in a way that you're not ashamed. Like bad way is way different than, oh yeah, I also do this thing on the side. Is that okay? Anything. Yeah, it's always anytime you present something like it's cancer. Yeah, it's going to freak people out. But if you're confident about something, a lot of people will kind of get tricked into being accepting or at least in the moment accepting because they're like, wow, like this person should be really shy about sharing this piece of information with me. But they're really confident about it. So I think I'm cool about it too. You know, whether that's coming out about sex work or queerness or non-monogamy or whatever. Like you present it with confidence, it will be received better than if you go. I'm just, I'm really sorry. I don't know. I'm just, I hope it's okay. But if it doesn't bother you and you know, I totally understand if it does. But you know, there's something I really like anime. I think it's also enforcing a boundary in the way. I'm sorry, I touched you. What? Really? Are you excited that I'm laughing? Very. I've laughed a lot. I'm more excited that you're laughing than the fact that we're, that then we would. Ah, can I hold the words for Sita? Anyways, yes. I'm happy that I've got you giggling and so yelling at me for my humor. Stop. I think when you say something with confidence and also in forces, it works as a boundary too. It's like, if you say this our way, there's no space. For a shame or to make fun of me or whatever it is. It's like, this is how it is. And you know, it leaves very little space. Oh yeah. Dual. Like cross that boundary. Telling a guy, I use condoms confidently. It's, it's going to take a more audacious guy to really push back too much. The more confident you are. I don't get pushed back from, maybe I'm like, no. You're probably pretty confident about it. But if you're someone who's like, a little shy or like, is it okay if we wear a condom? Oh, instantly like that. You're giving them an opportunity to disagree or at least argue and all that stuff's uncomfortable. I don't want to argue about condoms like right before I go inside. You're like, nothing makes me softer. Oh my god, no. Like let's figure all this out. Like when we're still at the bar or like in some sort of like non-sexual situation. I don't want to like this. I don't like discussing sexual health like in the moments before I go inside of you. Cause it's like this like unfair cheating time to do it. Yeah. Cause you're like, oh man. Emotions are high. Yeah. Host is a high, blood is flowing into good spots. You know, but yeah. Okay. Okay, so that was webcaming. Yeah. When did you transition to the Craigslist thing? Well, Craigslist I was also doing at the time too. I was doing Craigslist since I was 19. Or really since freshman year, I just didn't meet up with anyone till sophomore year. Okay. What is doing Craigslist meme? I mean, I don't want doing Craigslist. It's not weed, but you know, it's, it's, uh, I would do a couple of people on Craigslist. And because they would post an ad. And you would just, or I post an ad, yeah. Or you would post an ad and you would respond, or they would respond to your ad. And so who was the first person you went up with? And was it your ad or their ad? First meetup. I'm not sure. First memorable one, at least. I mean, there's a lot of memorable ones just that with the ads. It was, I didn't use Craigslist like hook up or date like one on one too much. Um, most of the time I used it for like anything where it felt like an experience that I couldn't get from like, being someone at the bar as easily. Uh, so like a lot of, well, I learned early on that if I want to. Okay. There were a lot of like F for M ads, female for male or W for, uh, W for M ads. That's what I think they were. Uh, W for M ads, a lot of them, especially in the city were either bots. For campsites or they were escorts, right? Yes. Um, posing ads. Hey, it's one of the day and then they hit you and then you afterwards. Yeah. And so, and so there wasn't a lot of like pure W for M ads, but there were a lot of natural and real M W for M ads, M W for M ads, W for M, M, M. Basically ads where there's more than one dick involved. And so I very early on like, uh, realized if I'm okay with another penis in the vicinity, I increase the number of posts I can answer. Therefore increasing the likelihood that I get my dick sucked. That's math. Boy math. That's boy math. Yes. That's boy math. That's exactly right. And so yeah, I know like I tried a lot of interesting things. So like the gang bang with a chick didn't show up. Like that was in college. Okay. So was that just at the end, just a group of men? Cause the woman didn't show up. Okay. So she wanted that. And I say this assuming that she's real. And I have enough like email interaction where it's a possibility. She was real. It's also possible. She wasn't. But like there's a certain things where you go, why this is a detail. Why lie about that? So and but whatever, it doesn't matter. I answer an ad. She wants to fuck a bunch of dudes, but she had a very certain scene in mind. She wanted to walk into this apartment and catch all of her boys. Jacking off the porn in this like mommy, many sons role-placing. And then she was going to punish all of us by sending us to the bedroom and making us have sex with her. That was the scene. So I get to the apartment. I text my friend Katie, uh, like the address information. You know, it's kind of we've built up a friendship where if I send her like random information, she knows, yeah, she just knows if Billy doesn't call me by tomorrow, like this is who did it. Yeah. So I send that to her. I get on the bus. I think I got on the M23 across because I think this was in Chelsea. I'm 23rd street. So like you go up there, um, open the door. I'm 20. I'm 20 or 21 years old. I'm very young. I'm 20. Yeah, sophomore year. And, uh, this dude, this like older dude with a tribal band, arm tattoo, very leathery orange skin opens the door and it's like, come on in. Yeah, we were just getting ready. And it's two other dudes and there's like porn on this like TV screen. And it's like, all right. Yeah. So I guess I think it's just the four of us. All right. And so we take our clothes off and we, I mean, I try to masturbate. Like, I mean, I've never seen dicks in person before. Really? I didn't have like the locker room thing. Like we, yeah, I just didn't have like group showers in high school. Yeah. Okay. And I was a pretty insular locker room guy. Like I didn't want to see me and I didn't want to see anyone else. So like I'm around dicks pretty much for the first time. First, I'm trying to be sexual around one. Yeah. The porn's just generic porn. And she's supposed to walk in at a certain time. Like the door is propped open to the hallway. And just some time passes. There's also pretty smartphone. Like people at Blackberries, but like the iPhone was not like a ubiquitous thing at the time. Yeah. So like he's checking the email thing and we're just kind of touching our dicks, waiting and everyone like 10 minutes, 15 minutes. Someone would be like, Hey, check again. Yeah, I don't know. It's not getting back to me. And it was about 50 minutes in where I waved the white sock and was like, I think I'm out. 50. It was a yeah, five zero. I think I really, I think we all were holding on the hope and our dicks. And I was the first one to go. I'm just, you know what? I think I'm good. And so I go to the bathroom came because I'm not a monster. All right. We started something. We're going to finish it. And then you could masturbate in the end next to these people. Not really. I mean, you get hard very briefly a few times. Like I do my best to. Yeah, ostensibly she's going to come in and like wants to catch us hard. So I'm trying to get hard, but like it's very noodly for most of it. Yeah. Anyways, like I get dressed and like I think I started the cascade. Cause like as I'm getting dressed, like one of the other guys stands up. He's like, yeah, I think my dicks done to whatever. Then we leave and then, you know, I just like took the bus home. Be like, wow, I just like kind of jerked off with a, with a few dudes. I don't know. And she never go back to you? She emails later going, you know, sun happy with my husband. I couldn't get away from the whatever. And I'm like, all right. You know, I don't know. Yeah. So it is a weird, that was a weird one. There might be a video of Billy and three other men just jacking off to point to somewhere in the internet. You know, it's like either she was real or the dude whose place it was had a really good time. Yeah. You know, that was a weird one. Then it would be another like couple of years before I have like a successful group sex encounter. But yeah, try a lot of stuff. I tried that. I tried like watching a couple a few times. Just watching. Uh, yeah, at a few things where it's like, hey, come over. We want to be watched while someone jerks off. Do you like watching? I don't know. Like it's long as I can jerk off. I don't really like watching if I can't jerk off. Cause then it's like watching fucking, you know, national geographic. I mean, like, yeah, there's titties, but it's unsexual going on here for me. So. Okay. And there was some job that you regret not taking. Oh, yeah. Talk us about that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was this answer and add in 2012. They were looking for a live in boy toy. Okay. There's a couple. They wanted to live in boy toy. And my responsibilities would have been to like, keep the place clean. Okay. Um, I mean, that's pretty much it was like, keep the place clean and fuck the really hot wife whenever she demands, um, because he also travels a lot. But then the other part was, uh, every morning, every other morning, cause he travels a lot for business. He's like half the mornings, you'd need to wake up at nine a.m. And give me a blowjob. And I asked a lot of follow up questions. As someone who was not really a dick sucker myself. Was. Was. Well, yeah, at the time of the story, I mean, I'm still not really much of, you know, yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to, I'm trying to be clear of, uh, you know, if Zachary's name was on the show, like I don't think we've had the same follow up questions. Oh, he would have said yes immediately. Yeah. So how much were they going to pay you? Well, what it was, you know, some of the questions I had were like, um, you know, like, oh, do I need to be enthusiastic about it? It's like, no, it's just like, it just needs to happen. It is to come. He's like, you know, whatever stuff like that. Um, are you going to try fuck me? It's like, no, it was okay. So I'm like trying to wait through like, is this like a job I could do? And I'm like, I think I could do it. And so for this, I would have gotten, uh, free housing, like, yeah, free housing on the upper east side. Okay. We've gotten basically my foods and food and drink paid for, uh, for the most part. And then I also would have gone $5,000 a month cash. And I'm even asking questions like what happens when I want to stop. These like, we'll give you a month or two to find a new place. We would stop paying you the, the, the five grand, but like, you know, whatever. Yeah. We're not going to be monsters. Okay. These are good answers. I did my interview, which was just like based in person. I did the first interview was like webcam where he wanted to watch me jerk off. Did that pulled out all my best moves I could from my webcam experience. Why, why was that necessary? He wanted to see me be high. He wanted to make sure he's attracted to me, whatever. Um, and then after that, he was like, okay, we should do a dinner date. Like test the chemistry. Let's all three go out, like dinner or something. And if it goes, well, maybe we'll go back upstairs and, you know, we'll pay for the, for the evening. Okay. But I was, she was so hot too. And she was, uh, but I was dating somebody. Well, I was like, I was in love with somebody who wouldn't escalate with me. She only, she, this woman won't even get dinner with me. She would only invite me over. Like I could barely get her to like go out to go to a movie theater. Yeah. Basically want me to come over and be stimulating conversation sex and cuddles. But like would not like do the date date. And, uh, I was like, oh, I think things were hers going to work out though. So I ended up canceling on the inner, the, the second round of interview. Cause I thought it would work out. So you never went to dinner? No. And then when things didn't work out, like six months later, I'm like emailing back. But hey, is the job still low? Are you still looking for someone? Cause it didn't work out with her. So I think I'm ready now. Like I bought knee pads, you know, it's like I'm ready. And they didn't reply. And then he didn't reply. And I remember trying like another year later. And then the email address had been like discontinued. So, yeah. So you've also been a sugar baby or was that like kind of been? No, no, that was a, the sugar baby thing was separate. Uh, there was a woman who was a, who was a fan of the podcast, uh, years back who, she reaches out to me and says, Hey, I just launched a Patreon. She says like, Hey, you should have a, uh, blank Patreon reward. We're like, people can just request what they want from you. And then you can tell them how much it'd be for it. And I'd be like, that's not really how Patreon works. But it sounds like you want something. Yeah. What do you want? And so, you know, we came to an arrangement where she basically wanted like a virtual boyfriend. She lived in Dallas. Like she didn't even live here. Just virtual. Basically. Yeah. What does that entail? It's just texting phone calls, FaceTime. It wasn't really like, it was mostly, mostly texting. And some phone calls a couple of FaceTimes here and there. A lot of the time it was just me asking like, Oh, how was your day? Tell me about your boss that you hate, you know, stuff like that. But we'd also do some DS stuff. And maybe like send her to the bathroom at work and have her like masturbate and edge. And I'd be like, okay, go to a, go to a six. Okay, go to an eight. Okay. Back down to a five. This one. Go back to an eight. Okay. Down to a four. Okay. Okay. Go to a nine. Go to a night. Okay. Stop. Can't really go back to your desk. So sometimes I'd make her like edge herself. Sometimes I let her come. She bought like a crave necklace. So that was helpful. Later, she bought like one of the wee vibes so I can control it on the app. Yeah. That was kind of cool. So sometimes we do that. Sometimes I would sex her a sexter and like, I'd be at a comedy club way in the go up and I'd be like, tell her dirty things and writing her like a whole whatever. Then I'd be like, okay, edge for the next five minutes because I had to go on stage. That girl stays with me. Okay. Now you can come. So there's a lot of that. Mostly one time I, she, she. So I said only been her. Are they people? No, it was just her and I was getting $500 a month to basically be a virtual boyfriend. But did you have to be available 24/7 or like? No, she wasn't like super demanding about it. But it was just like, it's just kind of like text. She wasn't like not fun to talk to. Yeah, well, that sounds good. I would do that. Yeah. So that was pretty dope. That was a great arrangement. She got me, I saw Hamilton for the first time because she bought me a ticket for my birthday. And this is back when Hamilton tickets were like, whoop. You know, they were up there. You know, I was like, let's sell a kidney. I think they're still expensive. They're expensive, but they're not like what they were. They used to be like scarce. Like it used to be like non-stop sellout. And I'm pretty sure, I don't think it's $1,000 a ticket anymore. You know what I mean? No, yeah, no, it's not a festival. So she was very kind of sprung for that for my, for my birthday. She was a good sugar model. Okay. What about the COVID glory hole thing? Thing. Because like when I left you a comedy show, there was this person at the entrance. I don't know what their pronouns are. And they're like, yeah, I'm Billy's roommate. And I'm like, where are you there when he was doing the whole glory hole thing? And they're like, no, no, I wasn't there. And I was like, okay, good. But different apartment. Yeah, different apartment. Yeah. So what that was a tweet. You just tweeted the thing, right? Was the glory hole thing. I tweeted the what? You, how did it work when you did the glory hole in your apartment during COVID? So in 20, in like, I think it was June of 2020, the New York City Department of Health sent out or published a set of like safer sex guidelines during COVID. So we didn't really have that. And one of the things they mentioned, oh, by the way, you weren't supposed to do room jobs during COVID. Apparently it traveled through fecal matter as well as saliva, but not urine, interestingly. So one of the things they recommended was, if possible, putting a physical barrier between you and your partner to have sex. Is this, is this a fact? This is a very real document. This is an official government document. Okay. They didn't say the word glory hole, but they described the glory hole. Yes. And they said this is the safer, a safer way to do it. Yes. Okay. Well, challenge accepted. I'm a bootlicker. I listen to my government sometimes. And so I, I slowly, I wanted to do glory hole where I pursued that. It took maybe like another three or four months before I finally, I had moved apartments and then this new apartment I was in when I was touring. And I was like, wow, there's such glory hole potential here. Just the way the layout of this apartment was two floors. I had the whole basement and my, it had like a long hallway that then opened up into like the big bedroom space. But like I had, there was a door, like a side door to the building that went into this downstairs. So I could prop open this outside door and they would come in and they don't have to interact with my roommates upstairs or anything. They just come in, whatever. So I put up an ad on Reddit. Oh, it was Reddit. Yeah, I used Reddit for that. Okay. And yeah, I had like a surprising amount of like, respondees, like women respondees. But what did you, like, what was the pose? What did it say exactly? I mean, I don't, I don't have it in front of me, but it would basically be like, have you ever wanted to try a glory hole? Apparently this is the time to do it because COVID is weird and scary. Yeah. So anyone and like good chunk of people, yeah. And then you just send them your address? I mean, after we like do some exchanges, like, I suss them out. They suss me out. They ask me whatever questions they have. Once we've like agreed, let's do this. And I also didn't want to see them. That was the other thing. Yes. No, it has to be anonymous. For me, it does. Some people are like, oh, I want to see your picture first. I'll be like, that takes away or they're like, do you want to see me? I'm like, no. Well, then it's not a glory hole. Yeah, then like what do we need this curtain for? COVID's fake, right? Getting taken down off you too. So literally. Yeah. So, yeah, I would just like, I would send them like a lot. I'm very, I love story and detail. The in organizing for fantasy scenes, typing out all the instructions, like that's arousing. That's like the foreplay. It's verbal foreplay. I'm writing out all the details. I'm like, well, here's the address and here's how you get in. Here's what you do when you get to the door. And cause then I would have them FaceTime someone to like age verify. Cause I didn't need like a precocious 15 year old fucking my shit up, right? Cause like, how would I know? Right. So I would like have them. That's good. Like you thought of that. Yeah, yeah. So they go to the address, then they'd have to do the FaceTime. Then I'd send the instructions. Great. Did they FaceTime a friend of yours? Yeah, they FaceTime someone I knew and trusted who then would just be like, kind of just like see a license unless it's obvious, you know. And they still they have never told you what anyone looks like. I said, don't tell me. Yeah, good friend. Yeah, good friend. Okay. So they then I would send all these instructions. Like, can you go through the store and you go down these steps and you go through that door. And then you go this way. You do not go up the stairs. You go down the thing and then you'll see the curtain at the end of the hallway. And there's a pillow and a glass of water there for you. And there's a bathroom over here because I have my own like half bath. And then yeah, there's a curtain that was hanging up like right before the the hallway opens up into the room. And so we would do that. And like had a lot of fun. I had had a lesbian who wanted to try a penis for the first time. She was like, I'm a lesbian. I'm never I'm a gold star lesbian, but like I just I feel like I want to try sucking a dick. But I really don't have to deal with the whole like man element. So this feels ideal for me. Just the dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I think in a perfect world, she probably if she wanted to try sucking cock, she'd probably try to like hook up with a trans woman. Yeah. But she was like this removes the man element, but I so okay. I've never heard anyone spit louder. Wait, so what did she hate it? I think she learned that it wasn't for her. Did it feel remotely good? It was pretty good. Okay. You could tell that she hadn't sucked dick very much. Okay. But like that was so cool. Okay. So how many people do you think? Visited. Yeah, visited. I had a few people who repeated, but I think we're at one. That must feel good that they repeated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mal, I think there were there were six different glory hole visitors. Okay. One of whom she came by three times. We had sex on the third time where the where like I. They were the growing war? Yeah, I well kind of under the curtain. I basically with after she was sucking my dick, I then slid myself underneath the like halfway underneath the curtain. On my back. I got on my back. But were. After she's blowing me like I then I. Take myself out of the hole. Yes. I got on my back. I slid under halfway under the curtain. Yes. And she got on top of me. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. So you were like this. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So I just like slid myself underneath it. Yeah. But then like I quickly noticed like she's riding me, but then I noticed, oh my gosh, the hole is lined up in a way where like in theory, she could see down. So I'm trying to quickly like move the curtain over a little bit. So she can't see. And then I actually pulled down the entire. Curtain apparatus. But it. I'm still inside. Oh, it's still on you. It falls on top of me. So no one's seeing me. I'm still not seeing her. I'm still technically inside of her. Yeah. But this whole thing is crashed down. Yeah. But that well once we're like, we make sure like I'm covered, she's covered everyone's okay. It's like no need to stop. So she keeps riding me. Eventually I come and then she like leaves. And I just like stayed on the floor on my back with this like curtain completely covering me. And like I used condom on my dick while I wait to like hear the door close. So I know she's gone. Oh my gosh. Which was fun. Yeah. But then I asked her, hey, do you want to do? I do. I was like, hey, I do a podcast. Cause she didn't know who I was. Right. She didn't snoop. Cause I use my real Reddit handle. Right. She didn't snoop. So I said, hey, I do a sex and dating podcast. Do you want to do a glory hole cast? She was very game. So what we did was we did an episode through the glory hole. But she asked, it was very sweet. Wait, so did you ever see her? So what we did was we did an episode through the glory hole curtain. Yeah. At the very end, we pulled the curtain back while on Mike to do a reveal. Yeah. So we did eventually get to see each other. Live. Yeah, live and in the flesh. But it was very cute because she said, hey, when I come over, do you think, do you think maybe I could like suck your dick one more time as a real stranger before we start the podcast? Honey, of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. MVP. Of course you can blow me as a stranger one more time. So if when you hear the episode, like you basically, I think, I forget if you can hear me come in the beginning or if you just hear my heavy breathing right after, because basically after I come, when I'm close to coming, I leaned over to like hit the record button, because I want to be able to go straight into it. Yeah. And so I'm like, I hit record. I come and then she like quickly cleans up. But on the other side, there was a chair. Yeah. She pulls a chair up and I stick a microphone through the curtain. She grabs it and then I sat down and, and then like post, come, post swallowing, just talk for like an hour before we did the curtain reveal. Oh my God. How did the reveal go? It was fun, especially considering her fucking during it during the podcast. She mentions how she was talking to you like a gay bestie of hers and goes, it says like tells him what she's going to do. And he says, do you want me to take a look at his, his user as a count, see what he looks like. And she's like, yeah, sure. And then he came back there and said, fuck her. He's like, girl, love yourself more. Excuse you. Excuse you. I want to say all sort of effort-related slurs and, uh, and, and then we kept going through. Yeah. So I was like, I, I was like, am I cuter than what you were worried about? And she's like, yeah, I was like, okay, thank you. Jesus. Your friend is very mean. Yeah. Well, yeah. So the glory old cast was fun and, and she was cute and nice. And did we, I think we fucked after that. So that was mutual attraction. Yeah. She also just stuck my dick. I was like, yeah, I mean, it was also COVID. This was, I mean, we were all starving for any sexuality. Yes. I, I had a, I don't think had I broken up on my girlfriend yet. I think when we recorded that, I mean, I, I think I had already broken up on my girlfriend at that point. But just in general, like it was, things with her had gone like less sexual, like towards the end of the relationship. So we were all just kind of hungry. I drive to Long Island to a park for this scene that we arranged. And she was, I was, I was going to find her in a park kneeling with a paper bag over her head. What, what time was this? It's like nighttime. Okay. Yeah. She had a friend who was sitting on a park bench on the, like that I would have to pass by to get to where she was going to be. Safety. Safety. You want to be safe smart sluts. Okay. Yes. And so when I got, and then like, yeah, she like blew me through with a bag over her head. I still didn't know what she looked like. I mean, I now knew what like her torso looked like. Yeah. Uh, kind of she, she was, uh, not acidic, but she was orthodox Jewish, like very orthodox. Like, but I know because she, like she stopped, we stopped hooking up because she decided like she wanted to get back in touch with God and went back to side hugs. But at the time she decided, I think that this, I'm not touching you. I'm not doing that. I'm only sucking your dick. I'm not really touching you. So that's okay with me and my God. I'm like, what, lady, whatever you need to tell yourself to swallow gum, like I support. I support. So we did that scene. We did another scene where like I drove out again to her area of Long Island. I like, I sat in the daytime, you know, like somewhat secluded parking lot and she, with an eye blindfolded myself, she got in the car, blew me left. This is all to like really put off how long it would take for me. Like see what she looks like. Yeah. Um, yeah. That like the bag over the head reminds you of the scary movie too or whatever. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. She also wrote, and I did, this was not part of my instruction because she wrote all these like derogatory like words on the paper bag for, you know, that was degradation. And her statement purposes. Yeah, she had some sort of degradation kink. You know, she like dirty horse like, you know, she wrote all that stuff on there. I was like, this is a really nice addition, you know. Thank you for the nice says. He gave me something to read during the encounter. Okay. Did you ever have a hard time getting hard with the glory hole or these experiences? Uh, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, like, you know, sometimes you can, I think the last time I visited a glory hole out in Canarsi, it was like it took a minute, you know, but I think it was also because I was like still dealing with a breakup. Yeah. But back then, I don't know, I don't really remember. Well, yeah, because I got hard eventually. I know that. At some point. Yeah. Good. Small wins. Small average size wins statistically speaking. I bet they were the right size, Billy. Look, the balls are just too big for the penis. That's the problem. The funny thing is that I've seen Billy make it because I was at make it come on a show. So this is fucking hilarious. I mean, did that not like, did that like, did that seem like an accurate assessment of what was going on? Like, did the, did the balls look particularly big? No, I think they're like, I feel like they're like too big for the shaft that they're attached to. Maybe. Okay. It's a weird that I've seen you naked. I was only lingerie and didn't get fully naked at the naked comedy show. Is that weird? Not weird. Not, not the preference, but it's not weird. Okay. Yeah. Would you rather see me naked? Of course I want to see you naked. You're hot. Thank you. Yeah. I want to see all hot people naked. This show. No, the pregnant bisexual woman, I was like, she was the last comedian to be on there and she's like eight months pregnant. And she was like, she was the only comedian, women comedian. On that lineup. On that lineup. The next show had three. Okay, that night, she was the only one, whatever. And she was like, so pregnant. And I was like, I couldn't stop staring, which is good. Because you can't, because she's on stage. And I just couldn't, and she was hilarious. So it was great. Yeah, shout out to Janet Hyde, everybody. Go followers, so funny. I've known her a long time. First time I saw her naked. So funny. Yeah. That was the first time I saw her naked? Yeah, I mean, like, I wanted to see her naked before that, but it was in the cards. Well, I didn't know that's the first time she was on naked, uh, the naked comedy show. First time I, yeah, she emailed me like a year after I asked her. I just assumed it was a no. And then she said, oh, I don't know how I lost this. I'm, I'm gay, but I'm very pregnant. Yeah, which is incredible. Yeah. She was like, I'm doing April. So I can do the February or March shows. And it's a late March show. So I was like, I might be too close. We don't want your water break on stage. That'd be too good of press opportunity for me. Yeah. So, uh, yeah, no, she was great. She was real funny. Um, okay. So what came first? You going to sex parties or naked comedy show? Naked comedy show. That came first. Well, not my naked show, but me doing naked comedy came first because there, there's like been a naked comedy show in New York for like a long time. It's kind of, you know, there's always a different cycle of someone running one. Yeah. This guy, Andy O'Fiesch up in, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. He's been running a naked comedy show for like, like started one like 18 years ago. They, but he would come down once a month and do it in New York. Yeah. And so when I was like in college, still looking for stage time as a new comedian, um, I had heard about it. A friend had done it. So I started doing it because it was free stage time. Uh, and so I, so I was doing his, I'd done his naked comedy show. I don't know, 15ish, 20 times before I even started doing mine. Okay. Wait, you, I know you didn't have any sexual shame, but like, how were you so comfortable with your nudity at such a young age? I don't know if it was like comfortable with my nudity as much as it was, um, desperate for stage time. Okay. So what came first? Like, did that make you more comfortable with your nudity? Or, or were you actually already comfortable? Uh, I think that definitely like helped make me, that was definitely the first time I was like, naked in front of a big group of people. Uh, so, you know, I think that definitely began my comfort with public nudity. Yeah. Uh, I, I didn't love my body, but like, didn't matter. I needed stage time. I wanted stage time more than I hated my body. Right. Which is impressive because I hate my body sometimes a lot. Okay. Yeah. Cause you speak about your body a lot, but at the same time, um, you're like confident, but like, you say not nice things about your body, but you're like, you know, confident about it. So like, what is going on? I mean, where, where are you on body image right now? Well, it's like, I, I don't like my body, but if other people do, who am I to argue with them? I mean, I think if I, if I, I think if I like, was it, if no one was interested in me and I wasn't getting laid, and I hated my body, I think that would be worse. But, you know, for me, it's like a playful relationship. I kind of like go, I don't like my body, but my body is valid and fine. And like, I'll go like, I am a hot person. I don't think I'm hot, but I am allegedly hot to people. So I accept that like fact because when I got the only fans, you know, right off the, right off the bat, like the first few months, like I was, I was already making my rent with this body. So I was like, well, I can hate my body if I want to, but I have to respect it because it's covering the bills. But why, or what would it take for you? The customer is always right. But what would it take for you to believe the customer? Like, why do you still hate it? At this point, if I, if I could lose 20, 25 pounds, I'd feel differently. And that's, and that's because I very tangibly have gained a certain amount of weight since 2020. Yeah. Okay. So I would like to lose, if I can, oh, for me, it's a way, yeah. Toxic, don't listen to me. If I lose 20, 25 pounds, I'm going to like my body. No, no, no, no. Now here's why I believe, here's why I believe this now though, because it's always been like this that, but now I'm looking at pick. When I was 220, and I say my way publicly, when I was at that, when I was at a certain number, I was like, I'm discussing this is like my high point. This is gross. Then COVID happened. I've now gained a significant amount from there. Now I would murder like three people, not you. Don't worry. I would murder like three people to get back that body that I used to find gross, because now I have an appreciation for it, because now I no longer have it. Now I'm like, wait, you know, that body was great. What am I talking about? I'll take it back, please. Can I have it back? Okay, but why? I'm no longer chasing 200 pounds. I'm trying to chase my previous high weight. Okay, but why, why is the number crucial for you to like your body? Like, why can't you like it? Now, even if it changes over time and you get to where you want to be and you have goals, and that's fine. But why is it hard for you to like it right now? Especially if you get so much validation from other people. I mean, you know, well, also part of it is that like I'm not currently getting the validation, because I've been like, I've kind of pulled myself out of the sex market. I'm only just now like dipping my toe back in. If I had a real, I had this breakup where fucked me up, I started smoking a lot of pot. I started wanting to date less. So I'm not actually getting that positive feedback loop as much, but that's because I pulled out. Anyways, the point is like, it's not necessarily a certain number, but there is that the number in mind, I know what that body looks like. We could take away all the numbers and all the scales, and I never weigh myself again. The body that I would be more confident and comfortable with is not the one I'm in, but one that's not I'm not far away from. It's just a matter of like getting back into my routines of like not eating like garbage and going to gym regularly. And when I do that, like I feel better. And so I don't have to be thin. I've never been thin. It's just a matter of like, I think for me, it's like when I feel strong, I feel sexier, even if I'm heavier. Okay. So if I'm getting stronger, that's fine. You know, like the, you know, the, yeah, it's just a matter of like getting my body to look a certain way, and a certain number does look that way. But frankly, if I got to the body that like I feel comfortable with, and then I stepped on a scale and I was 233, I'd be like, I mean, that's not the number I wanted, but this is the body I want. And that's more important. So when I, when I talk about numbers or losing a certain amount of pounds, I mean, that's just kind of more of an estimate. Ultimately, I want to look in the mirror and like what I see again, which I, which, you know, right until COVID hit. You did. I liked. Yeah. I think there's also some to be said of like, I, you know, I stopped shooting only fans content as much after my breakup a couple of years back because she was my favorite director. And there's something about seeing nudes or nude videos in this case. Something about seeing videos of yourself in a sexual way through someone else's eyes. So I give her my phone and say like, go like, I want to shoot, I have to shoot this 10 minute custom of me jerking off. I mean, seeing what she thought was sexy on me, seeing what angles of me, which body parts she would focus on. That's like some sort of act of love that I don't think is in the, that's its own love language. Yeah, they, I don't think it made the book. I think they were like, you got to narrow down the five level languages is like, ah, shit. Okay, we got to lose, uh, we got to lose porn shooting and cooking. I think we got whatever, you know, uh, yeah. So, and I think that also is, has been missing from my life lately. So, uh, director, a porn director. I mean, yeah, the porn director who like loves me and cares about me and talks to me every day. Yes. Okay. I think what you think is valid, but I want everyone to know that. Oh, yeah. Everything I said applies only to myself. Love your body. I get to hate my body because I'm special, but all of you have to love it. Billy is special, but my, I stopped weighing myself for example because any number will trigger me. So like, I don't step foot on a scale. Uh, even if I have to weigh myself out the doctor, I'm like, don't tell me how much I weigh. I don't want to fucking know. I do that. Uh, when I did like, oh, it's kind of me to have to weigh you or something. And I'm like, don't tell me, he's like, I have to write it in your arm. I'm like, write it. Like I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I had a fucking nurse laugh at me once when I asked that. And I was, I was like pretty fucking upset. I would get angry. Oh, yeah. I was just like, I don't know why you're fucking laughing. Sorry. He's never had fucking body issues, leave me alone. Um, that, yeah, that was, that was less than pleasant, but I also do that. I turn around, uh, for so I do that. And I do think it's about you, you liking what you see, but I think you can learn to like what you see. Well, no, why don't you look like? Sure. I, I just know I like to feel strong and I'm just not in my strongest body right now. I'm, I'm talking to you guys, Billy's special. So he can say whatever he wants. I can eat myself all I want. You can't do anything about it. This one was for the foot people. Hey, for free. This free. Can you, can you believe these, these arches for free? What? What? Could I, for free? In this economy? Um, you're welcome. So wait. So you pulled back on only fast a little. Uh, I mean, you're still, you're still making money. Oh, yeah. I still make passive. I basically treat my only fans like a clip store. It's a free only fans because I don't believe in myself. So you can just like follow it almost. Okay. What do you mean? Uh, no, that's just a joke. I tell. Uh, no, no, I have a free only fans. So everything's like locked. You have to like paid on lock stuff. Every post you paid to them. Not every post, but like every explicit post. Yeah. Like I'll post like Q their straps or whatever. Yeah. But like maybe like a 10 minute video of me masturbating and coming on a piece of toast, you'd have to pay for that. It's not just freely getting creative here. Do you take a bite? When you have it went, no, I was, I did not take the bite. Uh, you're not the first person to ask either to be. So people love their own come. Like, I don't hate my own come. But like, I was like, I don't need that like a recorded for posterity. You know, when I eat my come, that's a private activity. Okay. But you do eat it. I mean, I have, I just saw like, it's not like a thing for me. Okay. So, but yeah, no, so I still have it's, it's kind of like a clip store. Yeah. And I, I thought shooting as much. I mean, I was the kind of towards the end of the relationship, we had a big blow up because I was going to go do a, I was going to do a shoot with someone, some partnered content down in Jersey. And I was staying at her place, my girlfriend at times placed the night before. And like midnight, she just rolls over and is like, for having some freakouts, nominee was new to her. And we had this like really late night exchange. Like by the time it's three AM, we're still having her not even arguing. She's just like panicking. I just like, I text the person and I said, like, I'm sorry to bail, but like, I got to cancel. And then so like shooting with other people, which is the most profitable content for me, I mean, like me getting a blowjob or me eating someone out is, makes me more money than me, jerking off alone. Yes. I stopped doing those as much because it was causing stress in the relationship. And then, and then, and then I, and then after the breakup, I felt so non-sexual. I was so sad. I mean, that woman might be best sex in my life. And like, I don't know if I'll top it. Well, you're not even trying. You know, for me, not trying is like your average person's sex life. But yeah, like I've pulled back. That's true. So, so I want to get back into why I started posting some pictures again recently. I haven't like posted anything like super explicit, but I'd like to get back up there because it was good money. You know, I've got like all these like followers on there who are waiting for, they're just waiting for Billy Percida, but whole content, you know, and like, I got to give it to them. You do. I think you owe it to it. No, I'm kidding. You don't owe them anything. Okay, but they owe me money. You okay, you've pulled back from the sex scene a little, but like you still go to Hasienda, you go to the parties. Yeah, I haven't been to the party. I've pulled back on the parties for sure, because again, like I haven't been feeling super sexy or even sexual. Like, I've been feeling right now, like I've been missing intimacy. Like, yeah, I need. I want that with me. Yes, I need to be in bed with you. I need to be well, basically. Yeah, I want I want to click with someone like I want someone I'm going to go to I want a slutty lover. I go to the party with. Yeah, so I have pulled back in that I haven't been going solo. I might start going solo like to volunteer, you know, give back to the community. And to not seem like you're free because I'm a volunteer. I want to be able to say like, I volunteer. It doesn't matter. That's a sex party or a soup kitchen. I volunteer. So I do that. But yeah, I haven't been going to the play parties a ton lately. I think I went to win December. I think I went to one a couple months before that. But I really I really want to I want to like date. I want to be like with someone. I want to text someone every day and like, yeah, I've been getting there. I fucking someone who was at the the show you were at had she had like, she had said something to me like online before the show started. As if I knew her, we had DM'd a little bit. Yeah. Because she like brought a Tinder date last month. Okay. Yeah. So then she's like, Oh, hey, you should. She's like, Hey, Billy, it's me. And like person. Yeah, like what she was waiting in line to get in. Yeah. And I didn't know bells zero bells. I was like, I know like I it's like I DM with a lot of people like a lot of random strangers DM me like me. Right? Yeah. So so anyways, um, I find her during the show. I was like, Oh, it's that chick. I remember the conversation. I just done. Yeah. No face. And so like during the 10 o'clock show, I asked her out on a date. And we went out the next day. And coffee talk for like three hours. Was it good? I think so. Yeah. Like we yeah, we like it was an afternoon coffee shop day. So we talked for like three hours. And she like, yeah, she wants to get together again. So we'll see what happens. I mean, I mean, I've seen you make it. And she went out with you on Saturday. And there was something to that that actually like really struck me. I went, she's, I, is she being flirty? She knows what she's getting. She knows exactly what Slobby, you know, big, salty, soft body she's getting. She knows what big balls she's getting. And so I, okay, you know, and so that that so I need positive feedback loops that really help me out. So that can be get something else that be get something else that be gets like me back in a confident circle. Hey, girls, porn director, words of affirmation, physical, basically, basically. Yeah. So it felt good to ask someone out to get a yes, because I've, I've had a string of asking people out and know. And I was like, Oh man, if I've been out of the game so long, I've forgotten how to do this. And so it was like nice to get the yes and the go and have a good time and make her laugh on the day. Sometimes people think I'm funny. And, uh, and, and then her to go, yes, I'd like to see you again. We didn't have a kiss, which is usually my confirmation of a good day. But she like verbalize that like, this is really fun. It was an afternoon coffee shop day. You don't usually like have a deep make out at the end of that. I'll kiss at five a.m. I'll kiss on a breakfast date. I'll kiss any time anyway. I'll kiss anywhere as well. I'll kiss on the train. Yeah. On a podcast, I'll make out anywhere. But on this occasion, that's fine. Afternoon coffee shop day, I don't expect it to get like hot and heavy. Anyways, you shouldn't make anything out of it that it didn't happen. Yeah. No, no, she like, she's like, yeah, I want to get together again. Let's do this again. This was fun. We, you know, texted a bit since then, you know, I tried to make plans for this weekend. She's traveling, but she like, yes, like, when I get back. So it just felt good to be back to that. Because I really avoided connecting with people for a while because I was like so heartbroken and then so stoned and heartbroken. And then like a little less heartbroken, but then still stoned. And now I'm trying to pull back on that so I can like reengage with this world. Because being high like doesn't make me want to really connect. Just like this associate. I'm like the type of high where like I can't like I'm not going to be a fun hang because I can't talk a lot unless you hate it when I talk. Then I'm a perfect hang. Like we should smoke weed together. You'd love me. You'd be like, Oh my God, he's barely talking. Love it when a man shuts his fucking mouth at the right time. Yeah. Okay, so I'm glad you're getting out there. Yeah. But I wanted to ask you about the sex parties because before when you were going a lot, did it ever become like, you know, an orgy or a threesome was just like a Tuesday afternoon, you know, it just it stopped. It was not that it wasn't fun, but you forget that for some people that it's like their ultimate fantasy. And you if for you, it's just like another threesome. Yeah, do it a couple of times a month or whatever, right? Yeah. I know definitely like some of the luster goes off. But you know, something I like about Hacienda is because like the big parties are so extravagant and they go so hard with the themes and the community is so like fun and creative that I do find that I do find the the amazement still, whether it's somebody's costume or certain decorations or a certain station that they have set up that's in the theme. So I do still dig that. But yeah, you never want orgies to get tired. You never you never wanted to get boring, but I guess we're going another fuck party. You never want to get there. But do you forget like do you forget that it's not your usual life off very often? Well, no, so that not that it's not my usual life, but it's not usual for others. Yes, very often, because I'll just talk about nonchalantly. Yeah, people will be like, whoa, back up like five steps. Yeah. And I go like, oh, yeah, sorry, we're getting like most of the people I hang out with are sluts or comedians. Yeah, I'm everyone in my space is also usually slud my sexual end on when I miss, or at least maybe not my sexual would mostly. Yeah. So like a play party is like, whatever. Yeah, it's a play party. Yeah. But then I talk about it on my Instagram to like thousands of people and my sister calls me out every time she's like, remember, we're not all going to game and sex parties or these like, yeah, they follow you so they know. Yeah, but like, no, because I used to talk about the bit. When I started, I didn't talk about sex because I'd never been to one. And now that it's like so common, so whatever, it's on whatever, but you know what I mean? How often do you go? Well, when I'm in the city, I I go. Oh, right, right, because you're on the very end. Yeah, when I'm in Costa Rica, I'm like, have some ends because like, there's no scene there. Okay, fair enough. You can't throw a fun sex party once a month with your friends. No, they're all monogamous or like straight, I know. So you were about to be straight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I get that. I get that. It is fun at the end of every year around this time of year, tax season. I have to hit up Beth and go, hey, like, how much did I spend on orgie tickets? Because for me, it's a write-off. Oh, my comedy show ticket, it's a business expense. Yep. Yep. Everything is a business expense. Research. Yeah. Yep. So like, I usually spend about like a grand or so a year on like orgie tickets. No, yeah. Yeah. And you just write it off. Yep, that's right. That's great. But I do have to do that accounting at the end of every year and be like, how much did I spend? That's fine. Sometimes I go. Well, how come you don't keep track? Why do you also ask Beth? Because it's so much easier to do like, because she's got a whole CRM in the back and she just typed my name in and be like, yep, boom. I'm like, cool. I get it. Okay. Last question. Oh, boy. Would you rather never do comedy again or never have never receive oral sex again? Mm. I think it just depends on like, am I going to be more successful with standup? Because I would, I would make that trade if I'm like going, you know, if I'm going to be performing a line, getting booked and like doing and headlining and whatever. But if it, if it would be, But how will you know if you give it up? But if it's standup at this level, I don't know if I give that trade. I don't know. I love doing standup, but there's other ways for me to be funny. There's only one way for me to get a blowjob. Yes. Okay. So. Or, or, you know what, maybe I just get really, really into good hand jobs. Who knows? Yeah. Or it's sex waste or sleeves or whatever. I mean, I've been having a harder time receiving oral than giving oral the last like 10 months or so. So like, who knows? Maybe. Okay. So right now, what would you choose? Well, right now, I want to, I want to keep doing standup before. This is a tough question. Right now, I say, I'll say I'll keep doing standup. But, you know, come back to me in a few months, I'll probably switch. Yeah. And luckily, you don't have to choose, but that's just my game. That is your game. It's a cruel, cruel game. Billy, are you ready to turn off the lights? Sure. Is that a trick question? No. Are you ready? I'm almost ready. Okay. What do you need to get ready? I think I need to tell people to make sure they go subscribe to the man who are podcast wherever they're listening to this. Where can they find you? No, it's okay. You'll be tagged. You can check out the man who are podcast wherever you're listening to us right now. And I'm on TikTok at the Billy Percita. And I'm on Instagram at Billy is Percita. That's P-R-O-C-I-D-A. You write Billy Pro, I show up at the top. So, yeah, come follow me, check it out. And now, now I'm ready to turn the lights off. Okay, we did it!
