The Joe Budden Podcast
I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 45
We were blessed by the Queen Cardi B! During this episode we dig a bit deeper into Cardi's past, present, and future; as well as put Mari in the confessional with the Queen herself during story time. Pay close attention the gems that were dropped during this episode
- This episode is brought to you by Bevel, the first and only shaving system designed specifically for coarse curly hair or sensitive skin. Start shaving smarter and say goodbye to razor bumps with Bevel. Check out GetBevel.com today. Use code JODO to get 20% off your first month at GetBevel.com. That's G-E-T-B-E-V-E-L.com. - Are we recording? - Well, we rolling on you. - Are we rolling? - Because I can't hear Austin. Austin, are we recording? - Yes. - But they gotta be recording. So it's only when they start, then you guys start. - Oh, are y'all recording? - Oh, sorry, so they're recording. - Oh, shit. - So we're the asshole. - Well, all right. - That was-- - Yeah, can you give us a better all right, though? - All right, all right, all right, all right, there we go. I wanna name this podcast later, episode number 47. That was a guess. - No, that was, it's 45. Why are you so off? - She's right, it was 45. - Can I have a shot? - Of course. - Thanks. - Episode number 45, I wanna name this podcast. Later, I'm your host, Joe Button. This is fucking Marty, the body, to the right of me and Michael Roar's to the left of me. - That was the worst shot I've ever seen. - I went all down my chin and on my shirt. - Well, wait a minute. - I wasn't the first to miss. - Now, Rory has, what is this? A flask of Hennessy? Is this not what I'm saying? - It's not a little personal. - Is that a pint of Hennessy? - It's a little personal. The hood calls it a personal. - All right, I'm very far removed from anything that the hood does. So save that for your Henny Paloo's old friends. - It's just 2726 available now. VIP tickets are sold out. - Look at Chris Paul. - Look at Chris Paul. Yo, me and someone who's very dear to you both wanna know exactly what you do with Henny Paloo's. - Yeah, I also wanna know. - I asked him and Sam said, you know what, to be honest, I don't know. - She knows. That's a lie. - She didn't know it when I asked her. - She very well knows. - She didn't know two weeks ago. - She's there all the time. - I know, she said she goes there and you're on stage. - That's because it's more attractive when she holds it down. - So you're the stage kicker offer? - You have dimples. - Yeah, I'm the muscle. Yes, 45 weeks, you didn't realize I had dimples. - Well, he was the muscle at my birthday party too. - Yeah, man. - I wasn't, where was I on your birthday in LA? - Somewhere being a thought. - Probably. - Yeah. - Okay, so this is episode number 45. I feel like there's a lot to fucking catch up on. - Is there? - Is there? - Christmas is coming. - The goose is getting fat. - Oh, yeah. - Please put a dollar in the old man's hat. You hear that song? - More and more people say that they ran off on the plug twice. Where is this from? - Who does that? - I have no idea about to ask you what that was. - I ran off on the plug twice. - Tell me a future, boy. - I think it might be a plot song. - I ran off on the plug. - I'm not sure what it is, but a lot of people are saying that. - I repeat it. - I ran off on the plug twice. - Does that mean they stole from the plug and ran away? - Yes, that's exactly what that means. - Well, why would the plug sell to them after they ran off on the first one? - I don't really get it. I don't know. - Our Bay is here. I don't know. I'm very excited about that. - So I was one of the people that was watching. Let me get right into it. I was one of the people that was watching uh, Miss Universe. Wow, football was on. I was. - Okay. - I'm not afraid. I'm not ashamed to admit that to the world. - That's fun. There's pretty women up there. Talent did pretty women. - Yeah, but you know, you're supposed to watch football when football's on. If you're a man. - I was watching football. - Well, yeah, 'cause I'm gay. But whatever. We found that out last week. Well, shit, I don't know about last week. - What happened last week? - You admitted that you were a fag like four times. - Did I? - Yeah. - Oh, whatever. So I was watching this show and when Steve Harvey did the fuck shit, I'm not really sure why this is as big of a, well, you know, that's not true. I am aware of why to say it. But what I'm saying is there are very conflicting reports with this. Apparently there's a Snapchat story that someone that was deleted from the Miss Universe account. - Oh, look at this pretty girl. - Hi, Danielle. - Hey. - What the hell is going on in the universe here? - I feel like we all dressed down. - Karly, where are you going tonight? - This, this, this, this regular, regular thing, I hear. - Regular, regular, regular. - Oh my gosh. - Yeah, we're not even down, man. - Hold on now. Let's simmer down. Sit, sit down, baby. - Yeah, please have a seat, boo. - Sit down now. - Do you need water? - No, hold on. I don't need her to say a word now. Hey, mere peons of the universe, Aurora, mighty the body of myself included, we are fortunate and blessed enough to have-- - Let us say a prayer. - To have the queen here. - Cardi Christ. - Cardi Christ. - Our most prominent. - We speak the most. - Very highly. - Prominent. - The most high. - Ever. - Good job. - Later. - You're greater than that. - A power greater than you and I, and all of us. - Didn't you feel it? - Didn't you walk then? - Yes, your energy is tangible, baby. - Joelle Osteen-Hoo. We have the great, the honorable Cardi B with us in the building. - Hey there, we don't have sound effects, so we'll just do this. (clapping) - Lovely. - It's funny because we were talking about the Miss Universe pageant, but fuck all of them-- - Miss Universe. - I got a Miss Universe-- - Miss Universe. - And then Miss Universe walks in. Now this is pretty good. - I, no, I personally have a lot of shit that I would like to ask. - Mm-hmm. - I don't know about you two. - I just wanna talk about your song because I fucking love the boom boom remix. - That's none of that time. - I play it every day. - And we gonna talk about Cardi's song, we gotta talk about your song. - No, I'm not even talking about it on the remix. - Oh yeah, no, that is the remix. I'm up on the remix of the remix. - Oh my. - Yeah. (laughing) - Now you look, you look ravishing right now all covered up. - Oh, thank you. - And shit. (laughing) What the fuck is this? What's going on? You're like fucking, you came from Egypt or some shit. - You know what I'm saying? I don't wanna be overdressed because it's like, you know, I want people to be like, "Why she always got titties out and all that?" And you know what I'm saying? Like, I was like, let me just go. - Well, you probably picked the wrong place to not have titties. - Yeah, we don't have titties. - Titties are welcome here. - Yeah, titties. (laughing) - Yeah, but we've seen Cardi B's titties a million times. - Yeah. - I mean, different in person, I suppose. (laughing) - Are we seeing them in person? - Oh yeah. - I actually know, I think about it. Yeah, we have. (mumbling) - We've been there, we've been there to witness greatness. - The grand section. - Remember the bronze first game in Sacramento it was? - That's what happened when Cardi danced? - Like, we've seen the ascension here. - I will say, me and Joe were there early in the last two years. - Very early, very early. - Yeah. - They're throwing-- - We see Joe a damn it. (laughing) - Me and Joe were in the corner throwing no money. (laughing) - No women by ourselves doing nothing. - Like chocolate cake or something. - You're on your some shit. - Joe, lust has great lasagna. - They do, you know, and starlets. And starlets. It's the same people I think. But listen now, so I'm one of the many people that feel like Mona and Steph and the whole crew over there, Marty Warren, that they're not letting your greatness flourish. - Oh. - And this is how I feel. That's how I feel. - I mean, I didn't think that their plan was for me like to be like a real big cast member. - And then you kinda eclipse that shit. - Yeah, like until they see like, yeah. - Like, take him off for some time, yeah, yeah. - And I thought that to myself watching the show, after the first episode aired, I text all of them in a group chat and I said, "Fam, just let me know when a queen Cardi is apparently." And it was like next week. - Yeah, for the record, I think it happened. Thank you, buddy. - That's the fuck up. - Thank you, thank you. - Oh my God. Don't you just despise people, just need credit. - Wait, make sure you throw that out there. - We got a picture credit report. So I thought that, and here I am watching all of this shit last night. I really love Remi and Papus, right? I do. - They are great. - Episode two, they were good too. - They're great. And I really love how Pat is coming off. But, and I land y'all mean, I win. - I know you wasn't even in the first episode. - Yeah, but they really might not have realized, I don't think what they had on their hands. - I don't believe for one second this, you and self bullshit, let me say that. I'll be the first person to say that. - Aren't you like not allowed to sit like, isn't she not allowed to sit? - Well, she can't, that's what I'm saying is, she can't say that. - But we have no time to say that. - Monday eight o'clock. - Oh, Monday eight o'clock. - We know the media training they get you to, yeah. - Yeah, thanks. Monday eight o'clock. - And it's not that you're not a good actor since that self is a horrible actor. - Yeah, I mean, just from guy code, I'm watching this shit last night. Self is sitting in the crib on FaceTime with you who most would argue might be one, top five loudest women, period. You loud, why would I be FaceTime and loud ass Cardi beat my bitch upstairs? So now FaceTime and loud ass Cardi. Oh, I'm on a soft time day. Oh, when I'm a CEO, whatever the fuck she saying, right? And here come the Spanish bitch walking downstairs. Like my nigga, really? Really, this is what's happening? - You never say how nice. - I know. - I know. - I got it. I got it, I got it. - They're gonna sue me. - All right. - Yeah, wait, wait, wait. - So let's, so you know, you're retired from stripping. - Yeah. - Which, I don't believe for a second. - Nah, ha. - But everybody retires when they do this shit. - Yeah, but like, if you get away, you don't have to go back. - The last time I danced was on my birthday 'cause you know, I'm about to, I had to get that birthday schmunny. - I was just about to say, I've seen Nylee have, Nylee who's also in love with hip hop. - I've seen Nylee have at least seven birthday slash, I'm retiring from the strip game parties in my lifetime. At least seven of them. - I mean, you know what? I say that I'm retired because my manager has told me and have promised me that you will not go back to the strip club because I am not ever, 'cause I'm a very realistic and a very negative person to be honest with you. And I am not the type of person to be like, oh, I retired from the strip club, I'ma be good because you know, people suffer casualties. And I feel like I don't ever wanna be that day that I'd be like, damn, I'ma last to my last five thousands. Gotta go back to strip clubs and I make myself like a dickhead going back to it. But I'm taking my manager's words. I'm not, it's not 'cause of me. I'm taking my manager's words. Like I ain't believing in him. - Is Stevie J your manager? - No. - 'Cause he had the same promise. - My manager is a big old New York OG. - No, then I won't say anything wrong. - So, 'cause of him, that's why I'm saying it. If he didn't, if he wouldn't promise me that, oh, and I'm not fucking my manager just in case. - I wouldn't, I wouldn't say it on my mouth 'cause I seen it. I've been there where stripers be like, I'm not going back to strip clubs and I see them again. And then you know, the niggas in the strip club be like, stupid little bitch. And I'll be damn if I'll be that stupid little bitch that they, you know how, you know how. - That they talk about, yeah. - Hell the queen, man. - Queen Cardi, man. - Trying to tell you, man, that's the-- - Gems, bullshit drops. (laughing) - That'd be worried out of her mouth. - No, I get, I get nap, nap, but okay. So, with your, with your, with your recent, whatever the phrase is that I was-- - Is this fame really? Like a tension? - I'm not gonna say that. - The change in your life. - It's more depth to it than just like fame and all of that bullshit. Ascension is a good word. We'll stick with that. - So, with your ascension now, your manager promises you that, but you still fly with a bunch of holes in the strip club. Your best friend's a stripper. - Yeah. - So, how has that scene treated all of this? Is what I wanna know. Because I've seen it before where like now you're hosting in the spots that you used to work at. - Yeah, I mean like, you know, I'm, you know, I start, I've been hosting though. I've been hosting ever since like, I reached like the 200,000 followers on my Instagram, but like the hosting money is never enough. Like me, it's never enough. Like to this day, I make so good, so good money hosting. I host like, well, two, three nights a week. But it's like, yeah, I make money these three days. I couldn't make seven. I couldn't make money these seven days a week. Like, I'm just, it's something about hustle. It's something about feeling like seeing the money getting in your hands, like, you know, before, like right now I see the deposits in my bank. It's different than seeing the money on the floor. - Yeah. - And then giving it. - Tax free too. - Very different. I get that, I like it, I like it, I'm in. - And I will never like, discriminate, like the hustle that fed me when I had shit. Earth that made me or that made me realize how men are. You know what I'm saying, like. - So, but now you hit bitches hated you before you got on TV. - Oh, yeah, you know, I'm an annoying ass bitch. I don't know you. So you know what I'm saying? - No, not you. - We don't think you're annoying. - I don't. - You're queen? - Queen Cardi Kim, you know. - Oh, no. - No, she doesn't go wrong. - I am. - That's your mouth. - It's blasphemy. - Foolishness on Christmas week. (laughing) - On Cardi Week. (laughing) - It's your birthday on the 25th. - No, it is not. (laughing) - You know what, I don't really, I've been seeing those posts that like, they put my face on Jesus name. - Yes, yes, yes. - And I don't feel like reposting it. Like it's like, oh, thank you, I'm flattered. But it's just like, like God doesn't like that. So it's like. - You have a great relationship with God. From my understanding from the interviews I've seen. Has that conflicted in your occupation in the past and your plan now? - I could worry. - No, it's not because. - That was an intelligent question. - Say what? - What? - What? - What was that? - Wait, what? - Come down. - Are you going to break out the sweat? - No, blacked out, what happened? Did I say something? - That day Rosetta Stone is working. (laughing) - I think it just broke off. - No, that was a good question. - So, you know what, like. - You know what, like. - You're going to pass. - That's a never conflict. - According to Romans, what is 12? - That's a fuck up, Rory. All right, we're good question though. - You know what, like a lot of people be like, oh, you talk about God, you talk about Jesus, but you a stripper and you show your ass and all that bullshit. But it's like, I feel like everybody sends, it's just people send in different ways. And you know what? God put me in these paths for a reason. Like, for example, when I had a regular job and I got fired, I feel like God put so, like this man told me, like yo, you should go to a strip club. And me being in the strip club, like I networked a lot. I networked a lot, a lot of stories that I say, or these little videos that I get on my Instagram, is from the strip clubs and it's from the men in the strip club. And it is what bitches go through, so. - And it put you in the position to be where you are now. And the same people that are commenting about that are the ones that are having premarital sex and doing all the type of shit anyway that the Bible says isn't right either. So who are they to say? - Yeah, or cursing. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - It's not time to say. - It's not time to say. - Like, who are you to say? - You guys, wait, wait, wait, wait. - I'm going to snatch your mic, too much positivity in God's shit going on right now. I hate to be that guy, but yeah, we're going to get off of that while you guys have your estrogen moment. We're going to curve that shit from the get, we love God, you guys love God. - Yeah, God, God is great. - Now, I have been around, at least, four different hoes, right, who at different times, they just randomly scroll your Instagram and. - Watch your video. - Watch your video. - All the time, I'm not a hoder. - So, five hoes. (laughing) Who do this, right? So, I almost have that fucking, I don't know how many listens that a dental work vid got. - Oh, I'm going to take the back of the team. - But I've heard it, I swear to God, at least 55 fucking times. - I didn't even thought it was going to be that crazy. I just did it for fun. - No, no, you plan them in the streets, my G. - You know, a lot of people would be telling me like, "Bitch, why you don't fix your team?" Oh, don't you make money to fix your team and all that bullshit. So, you know, I'd just be joking around with it. Like, I'd just be cracking jokes about it. I think that it was going to be that serious. Like, you know what I'm saying? - So, why do you punch the bitch in the face on TV? Well, on TV. 'Cause I seen you do it online too. - 'Cause, you know, like, I'm-- - That poor, innocent girl. - She stood up to me and you know I got small hands. I'm a very small girl and she a little bigger than me. So, it's like, oh, snap, she bigger than me. And she punched me, I might get knocked out, so I gotta hit her first. - Oh, I like that. - I always, always say people first. - Gems. - Gems. - From Queen Cardi. - Gems, yeah, we're not worthy. - I'm just listening, I don't even want to talk. - It is Sunday. - She's taking us right to church up. - So, where does the Cardi B story start? I want to go from the beginning. 'Cause you've been doing a lot of interviews just about love and hip-hop. Where do we begin? Where are you from? - I'm from the Bronx. - Grand Concourse. - Are you from the Grand Concourse? - No, I'm not from Grand Concourse. I'm like around the Four Line area. So, like, you know, hybrids. - What do you hear, is that? - Like around Jackie's baby. - You know where it is. - She's got a brain. - What was your family life like? Two-parent household, one-parent household. - I don't want fucking couples therapy, oh, yeah. What the fuck is going on? - I want to dig deep. I want to figure out the toys. - You know what? I have a very strict mother. I have a very strict mother. She's very religious, but she's just very beautiful. So, but she's very strict. But I have a father that love bitches. And like, I have a dad that cheats on my mom. - Mother still together? - No, no. He just cheated on my mom so much. And it's just like, damn. I don't ever want to have a man like that. And there was a point like there, my mom was just, that was just supporting my mom. And she told me, like, sometimes I can't leave your father because he's all I have. - Damn, man. - And it's just like, that's why I don't ever feel like I want to depend on a man. Like, there's guys that have money and they just want me to just be there. I can't because if you leave me for a younger bitch or a better bitch, or like, I scare you off 'cause I be scaring niggas off, it's like, you're going to leave me and I'm going to end up with what? - Right. - That's why I get my own. - So, you realize this at a young age? Did you go to high school? - Yes. - I graduated, yes. - And that's how you said it. - And I went to college school. - Oh, where'd you go to college? - I went to BMCC. - Nice. - Okay. - So, it was like a guy that was kind of, like, taking your attention away. - Yeah, and that was just Cuddy's class, Cuddy's school. - Just as someone who's listening from the outside and not giving very much input, this shit sounds way too much more. (laughing) - What are you trying to figure out how she's got her? - You guys, you're too a real loser. - You're a fucking loser. - We got 'cause we're interested in our guests. - I didn't know about Cuddy's mind. - Or just because of y'all sound. - Y'all sound like fucking-- - You want me to say it on a British fucking accent? - Let's talk about Instagram that we've all seen. - I know that you had a guy that you were just chasing after in high school and then he kind of just threw you off a little bit. - Yeah, in high school, I messed up a lot, but then, you know, I graduated and then I was in college and everything, right? But when I started going to college, that's when I got kicked out of my mother's house and I had a regular job. I couldn't balance my regular job working in Amish Market as a cashier. - Amish Market's a good market. - Yeah, it's a good market. They got some fresh produce there. (laughing) - I fucked with it. - I couldn't balance out my classes and making the money. I just couldn't, so I fucked up. Then I started stripping. - Who introduced you to stripping? - It's me. - Well, I got-- - Shoulders lit! - I got fired from Amish Market and the manager for-- - Fucking and a first star. - First stripping that Amish Market? - It's gonna be like, you should go to New York Dolls. - Oh, okay. - Oh, so your first strip club wasn't an urban strip club? - No. - Even Michael Jordan was cut. - No, it wasn't. - So what do you think the difference is between stripping at like a midtown strip club and an urban strip club? - Well, one, downtown, you wear gowns. And it's more about-- - Are you going there tonight? - Yeah, right? (laughing) - It's more beautiful, sexy gowns. And you know, you just have to talk to a guy more and you know what, like the guys that go downtown to the strip clubs, they like businessmen, they Walmart guys and everything. They know when the economy is a little fucked up. So they won't go. - Wall Street. - Niggas in the hood, they don't give a fuck. They don't care if shit is down, if the drug's down, they just-- - It's Walmart. - They put a lot of Walmart. (laughing) - Well now, what side conversation? - They ain't gonna see money right now. - Well now it's Walmart. - They think about their money. - You know what? - Cardi says they gotta tell it it's Walmart. - You better leave it there for Walmart now. - What on earth are y'all talking about over here? - Cardi says. (laughing) - That's just an everything. - That's the same thing. - It's the same thing. - That's the same thing. - Walmart investors. - Wall Street. - It's Walmart. (laughing) - They do, they do, they do. - Oh, Walmart. - I love this. - I said, he can't go to the guy that he really, it was just one of the guys that ever made much money for. He worked for like that Walmart thing. So it just caused my mind. - Oh, okay. - Oh, like corporate. - Mm, he was real corporate. - I said the old booze still linger in the brain. That's nice. - They're not old. - The guys that like, you know that you remember it. - That spent a lot of money. - That spent that the most. - That spent that money. - That paid her rent that couple of months, yeah. But your man now is in jail. - Yeah. - How long has he got going? How much longer? - He rent in there for like a year and like months, like five months. He probably got like two more years and nothing. - You really think it's, you want to stay with him? - Yeah. - Despite everything coming your way now, he's handling it okay too. - Yeah, I mean, it's a little different. - She's a phony bitch. - No. - I got less time for that. - That's a lot, yeah. - I got less time to give him and everything. But it's like, I know that's the guy I want to, I want to be with. I know it. - You're gonna fuck self up when you come out. - Right. - Oh, you had to add that talk. - You had to add that one on it. (laughing) - I had to add that one on it. - That social gun come out fake when he get out. - No, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no. - I'm acting. - That one on it real quick. I get it, I get out. You can't say anything. I know, I know, I know. - What do you mean to this gentleman? - I know. - I can see your face when I talk about him. - Hey. - Hey, you know what I'm saying? Like, after I was 19, all I do is work. So, all I do is be in the club. So, ain't no like. - So you met him in the club? - Yeah, no. - In the club. - Okay. - Unless you said it. - Hey. - And now you're on to Love and Hip Hop. Do you feel like they're trying to make you like the Jocelyn of Love and Hip Hop? Like they're trying to mold you to be. - I'm starting to see that a little bit. And it's just like, I don't like that because I feel like my life, my life, my personality is way more poppin' than anything that you could ever try to make me. - I feel like they're trying to do a lot of comparisons because the whole cat-stack situation too. - I'm not, I'm not that bitch at all. - And then she was legitimately upset that you were claiming the whole title because she feels like she's a quote unquote real whole because she worked the strip. - It let be 80. - I don't so, that's the thing, I don't so pussy. Like I don't so pussy is that they just want to spend money on me and they're going to spend it like, I just feel like that bitch want attention. And I don't even want to talk about little dusty. - Perfect, beautiful years. And this would be my problem with like people that just watch interviews and read blogs. Like that, I watched that cat-stacks interview. That girl's just sitting there lying. - Yeah, like, fuck you mean. - And she was like, all of that shit was scripted. - Cat-stacks are lying. - Yeah, all the world-star stuff was shit. - No, she has to because it's part of the- - So I don't want to talk about that bitch. That bitch need to go battle AIDS. Not me. (laughing) Fuck to me, bitch. (laughing) Nah. - Dams. - So Demona, did Mona reach out to you? Or did someone you know on the show reach out to you? How did this love and hip hop thing come to play? - Self-reached out. Self was like, yo, I'm on this show with my girl. With my girl, whack. So my story kind of weak. You could turn this shit up. - All right, she can't- - You can't- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Basically. - She's- - Schmegalin-teggula, right? - Schmegalin-teggula. - Schmegalin-teggula. - No, that's it. - Bring it in. - Yeah, I know that's not happening. You can't say that. No, I know, I know, I know. - Just wink, actually blink if that's what happened. Oh, she blinked. - Shut the fuck up, Karissa. (laughing) - But off, but I'm off of that. I'm more concerned with your plans outside of the TV roles. - All right, like, the other thing. Like, I always felt like, I always felt like I'm a good writer. I always felt like our remix thinks good. Like, I always felt like, I'm really good at music and everything. But I'm a very negative person. I'm the type of person to think there's a million person. There's a million people that's trying to do music. What? Who, how lucky am I going to be for my music to pop? But you know what? Like my manager, he's a good team. And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna just believe in you. 'Cause I'm just the type of person that be like, you know what? I'm gonna just make as much money, open businesses. That's it. And that's it. I'm not the type to really chase dreams. I don't like risking things. I like to be safe. - I wanna play her song. This is gonna work. - As long as Sarah on "Cloud" doesn't take you down. - You can you fix it, sleep out, can you pause it? Can you get it right? Ouch. - Why that was loud? - This is less loud. - Yes, that's better. ♪ Oh, you want me ♪ ♪ Uh-oh ♪ ♪ You need that ♪ ♪ You want your wife ♪ - I beat his heart, actually. - Yeah, this is dope. - That's some stuff. ♪ I'm gonna go ♪ ♪ She's the first person ♪ - All right. ♪ Just keep it up ♪ - Hi. - Can we-- - No music. - Wait, wait. - Did we get a DJ to leave drunk? - Wait, let's go! - You got a clue, Drew. - Let's go! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. - Yo, Austin, put some echo on my voice. (laughs) - Get out the warm, warm, warm. (laughs) - He want the warm. - Mighty, mighty. ♪ You wanna see me write it like a robbery like me ♪ - Eight. All right, Mottie. ♪ You wanna eat the poo ♪ - Mottie, you got the body out of words. - Look at this, my fucking soul. - What the hell? ♪ But there's no surprise ♪ ♪ You know Cardi is that ♪ ♪ But if there's money you got it ♪ ♪ You better empty your pockets ♪ ♪ I'm fucking heavy ♪ ♪ The positive Cardi body ♪ ♪ I got it ♪ ♪ And you gon' have to pay high ♪ ♪ You gon' have to pay high ♪ - Hey, is that Shaggy? - That is Shaggy. - I was really a guest. - No, that was. - Shaggy's song, she did the remix with pop, okay? - Okay, who wrote that? - His parts, they wrote the parts. Me, I had to sit my ass down and be like, "Yo, this is--" - The queen! - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. - The queen wrote it. What she wrote it, duh. - 'Cause you have it memorized. - I do. I really like that song. - Oh, take her over here. It's cute. - All right, so we got the introduction out of the way, the people that don't know who she was, who are retarded, now know who she is. What else is going on? Let's add her into our regular on-name this podcast later, the conversation. - I'm gonna try to talk. - Joe, you-- - We're not busy this weekend. - Oh, oh man, oh, okay, so, because I'm so off New York and because it's really like nothing to do for rappers around Christmas, really? - What? - It's random. - Party seems to be finding plenty of things to do. - Yeah. - Would you consider yourself, you're a rapper, though? Yeah. - Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, first of all, if you disrespect the queen again, if you ask something that she don't want to ask you, give you that look again, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday. You'll be banned from the podcast for good. We'll change the location, everything will be finished if the queen gives you that look again, all right? - What do you think, Prince's? That's your answer. - You know what? When it comes to entertainment, like, I'm good at everything. I'm the fuck I can entertain people, I'm good. When it comes to music, I'm good. When it comes to entertaining people on dancing, I'm good. When it comes to comedy, and entertainment, I'm good. - I am when it comes to fucking entertainment. - I'm good at acting, I'm good. I'm good at acting, I'm good. I'm good at acting, I'm good. I'm good at my honey, I'm good at acting. - But wait a minute. You know what my problem is with that? All bitches say that. - Well. - Well, there's two women here, and you both said it to me. - What, are we so good, Dick? - Yeah, all bitches say that. - But we know. - How the fuck you know? - Because I know. - I know, because I'm horny. - I know, because I'm horny. - Some horny nigga, what I'm worried about. I'm coming, y'all love you. - Double a loan at the phone, y'all. - Yo, let's move in with me. - I'm real confident. - Do you believe everything and they can tell you when you're about to come? Are you that dumb? - No, they don't know. - I'm real confident because, you know what I'm saying, like, I've been with guys that they have been with the baddest bitches. With the baddest bitches. - The baddest. - The most sophisticated, baddest bitches that you see on fucking on your goddamn music videos, the bitches that got thousands of followers just on the way they look. And niggas be loving me because they be like, "They're a bitch." You? And that mouth? - Yes, that's the same shit I get. - I got the text in the morning. I'm thinking about that mouth. They be waving my hand. - Mighty, mighty. - Not even in New York. - Marissa Mendes. - Marissa. - And they just how little ghetto has me, how you love little ghetto has me, Cardi. Shit. - I will say, a lot of fun. - I haven't cooked for you. - I haven't cooked for you. I haven't cleaned your house. - But that's my name. - Why you love little mommy? - It's just these bitches that that Cardi is naming, but dumb bitches can't suck no dick. Now you're just comparing yourself to the fucking F student of the class talking about you the best. - So no, but they've got no bitches? - Somebody whacking the first place. - But if they're-- - So the popping bitches with a whole bunch of followers and all the money in the bitches that look great, they can't suck dick up there. We knew that. - But that means-- - If y'all didn't know that, time out, time out, pardon. If y'all didn't know that out there, let me be the first to tell you that dumb bitches be the worst. - Yes, but we know that, but let me break it down. If they're getting their dicks up by the time they're bitches, they're getting the dicks up from the regular. - They're getting the dicks up from the regular. - Like that. - Marissa Mendes. - You're a regular ass girl, so for you to love such a regular ass girl, like me, it's got to be because of sign. - Exactly. - Yo, what's like fake Remy Martin? So I could call Marissa that. - Remy Naw. - Is there like a-- - Remy Naw. - It's called a boomstorm or something. - E.E.N.J. - I don't like mad dog 2020 or something. - Yeah, you can do 2020. - Poor loco. - 'Cause you're fucking Remy Naw and-- - Yo, that might be who Marissa is. - She's Paul Masson. - She's like the white Remy Naw. - It's like that Remy Naw. - Remy Naw. - I could definitely see that. - Oh, my God. - But anyway, all right, so-- - Then why didn't trust you? - All right, so you don't know if you can suck a dick, neither. But you say that. And when bitches say it, of course, niggas like niggas is gonna say, "Nah, I gotta see what that mouth about." I say, "Oh, my God." So when I was in DC, right? So when I was in DC, me and my nigga, we went out to DC, we was like, "Yo, we off New York. We gonna go to DC. We gonna go back these bitches. We gonna get these hotels. - Why? - We gonna go out party. We gonna go to stadium. We gonna go do all the fucking fuck shit 'cause we live. Right? - Right. - So we get a motherfucking rent a car, Yukon 2016, hop on a highway through music jamming. We get out there, get the good deal on the hotel, right? Now we got the banging fucking hotel, so we like, "Yo, check this out. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna get the double, right?" And then when we head out and get shit rocking, then we come back with all the bitches and we're gonna get a home and nothing broke. And now it's lit. We like word. So then we go eat at the spot around the corner and I had some motherfucking shrimp and grits that were really, really, really good. And we get back to the motherfucking hotel because I'm 35 and he's 32. What happens? We go to sleep. - Fucking dick. - False sleep. Hot Friday night, NBC. We fall asleep. So I wake up at about 6 a.m., thinking that damn, what happened, the streets are like, not knowing where I was, Ryan was like, "Oh shit, we're really this whack." So now he wakes up, I wake up. He goes to smoke a plump. He's like, "Yo, we fucking fucked up last night so now we gotta let DC know what's good. We gonna stay another day and get these bitches." So we go because we're wide awake now to escape the room at DC. - Oh my god. - Is that what you do? - Is that what you do? Like at every state? Is this like a goal? - Well, yeah, we've done about a lot of them now. Do you know what that is? You don't know what that is. It's great. - I don't know why guys do that. That's the thing about guys. That's why I just treat them like, "Wait, what do you guys do?" I've never happened yet. - What is the goal of you guys? - Oh, no, I was telling the story. Wait. - I was telling the story. - I know what she was getting at. Which is another topic in itself. Let's start that. I was just on the story off the dick-sucking thing. Hold on. Give me a second. So we go to fucking escape the room, right? We get there and oh my god, I hope these people don't listen to this podcast. So we get there and who's there, but this like amazing looking fat bitch. And I don't... - You get the best hat I heard. - Day two. - But listen, when I say that this woman... - Have you been head from a fat bitch? - Mouths. - Her mouth and her lips and her face and skin and the way all of that shit. It looked like I almost called that place and booked the next two weeks out. - She worked there. - Yeah, but I think she was married. Johnny said she had a ring on her finger. But anyway, so when we left that place, I tapped Johnny and I'm like, "Well, now, wasn't me? Oh, well, that fat bitch fine." And Johnny said, "No, hell yeah, did you see her mouth?" And then we had this long talk about her mouth now. Without having said a word to her about it, I just would bet the house that that woman sucks amazing dick. - Don't let 'em about you two motherfuckers say that y'all sucked some great dick. - Well, you... - You... - That's it. - I got a very... Like, I'm real loud. Where do you think that loud comes from? From all the way down, hello, talk about it. - Hey! - The queen. - And I'm not just watching the queen. - Whoa! - So, you know, the thing about fat bitches, they do everything with love. They cook with love, they have a giant that's nice and warm, everything about them is warm, so they mouth got to be even warmer. That's why they had so good, but me and all the hair, I'm real skinny, but I got a big-ass mouth and all that loud-ass thing that come on out cold all the way down here. - Jesus, man. - These go all the way down there. - Yep. - Well, my dick ain't that big. - You ain't got to worry about all that. - That's... - Oh, man, that's over. - They gotta go down there just... - Anyways. - Yeah. - She told us that on her four words and shit. - Me and I got a lot of homeboys. I got a lot of homeboys, so I take notes from them. Like, "Oh, where?" You're like, "What?" - And I watch a lot of porn too. I think that helped me. - Marty, how come every time we talk about The Queen, you jump in with some of your shit? - I'm just saying, you're asking all of us about our dick-sucking skills. - No, no, no, no, no. - That's how we got there. - No, I'm asking a goddess. - Oh, and I'm not a goddess? - Not a mere human. (laughter) - From day on or wherever you live. - I'm not from day on. - From one bridge. (laughter) - From one bridge New Jersey. - From Ford or wherever you're from. - Words! - Why can't you put an S on Ford? - Wherever the fuck you're from. Hey, don't ever think that we talking to you when we talking to fucking Royalty, all right? - I mean, she is Royalty. I'll be giving her that. - No, no! - We got a respect, Queen. - The Royalty of the fucking projects. - So, everybody, you're talking about Beyonce shooting a video, and then pictures leaked to Beyonce shooting a video. - And New Orleans at the Superdome. - And New Orleans and Jay-Z was there because, of course, Jay-Z was there. Why wouldn't he be there? - Her husband and I mean, she should be. - And so now all of us is that she's gonna drop a secret album because that's what happened last time when she dropped a whole bunch of videos. So how do we feel about this? - Nothing. It just made two years the other day. - So we don't feel anything about it at all. All right, great. Who made two years? - Beyonce's secret album. - That was only two years ago? - Mm-hmm. - December 2013. - It was like so much longer. - No. - I was in Cin City when that album started. - Changed the world when it did, it'll drop. - Shocker there. - Know what you're watching, then it'll drop. - Shocker the world. - Yeah, but that was far as toward the end of my Cin City where I've been stopped going to Cin City. - Yeah. - I ain't going to Cin City in a long time. - Over... - Does that still exist? - Year and change. - Yeah. - But nobody goes there but Scammers and drug dealers. - Yeah, but maybe it got bad. - It's them who always go such a... - No, they probably do. Well, I like how Cin City's laid out better than any other strip club in New York. - All your best layout and... - And that's what I always went with you, right? - Yeah. - 'Cause Cin, there's mad space. - And they serve cake. - And all this fucking sit on top of each other. - And they serve cake and ice cream and Cin. - And the focus is really on the strippers. It's not on the bartenders. - I agree. - Me and Joe have... Oh, Cardi, you could help us out with this. Me and Joe and Imani have this thing where we want to start something for the strippers because bartenders are now taking over. - It's too late for that. - It's too late for that. - You guys need a union. There needs to be a stripper union. - No, the thing about it is... - 'Cause bartenders don't have to take their clothes off and they're getting rained on. - I feel like... - While strippers are doing fucking cartwheels and getting one dollar. We need to do something about this. This is an epidemic and you could be the face of it. - Preach for it. - I mean, you know... - Stripper union. - This is the thing. I always felt like back in the day when I was stripping... I ain't back in the day like a couple of months ago. (laughter) - Right. Like, you know, like, I always felt like damn, yeah, strippers. I need to fucking go on motherfucking, like, on a strike or something. Go down south. We got short, goddamn New York, nigga. - I like this talk. - That's it. It's over for that, like, fuck y'all mean. But then again, I'll be feeling like these bartenders, they do a little extra work. You think the niggas is just out. You think that the same niggas just keep coming back and sitting your goddamn section because you're not talking to them or parlaying with them and everything. A lot of them has fucked them and sucked them. That's the thing. A lot of niggas, we're thinking to themselves, like, "Oh, a bartender is more serious than a stripper because she has..." - She's not taking a clothes off. - Yeah, she's not taking a clothes off. That bitch that does something more like than me. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - So I don't even want to hear that shit. And then on top of that, like, let's be honest, a lot of strippers in New York, they're not looking good. Y'all not looking apart. Like, that's the thing. - Talk to that shit. - They're not looking... - They're not looking good. Like, to be honest with you, me and the team that I used to work with, we ain't never really had that much problem with the bartender's and everything because I feel like when we used to go strip, we had everything on point. Nails, hair, everything on point. Everybody's on point. Everything is on deck. If you are on deck and if you look good, you shouldn't really have that problem. - Mm-hmm. So I found something out today. - Finally. - I have a stripper. - I have a stripper. - I have a stripper. - I have a stripper. - I have a stripper. - 25 years. - All right. - All right. - All right. - All right. - All right. - All right. We get it. We get it. - All right. - I'm a friend with a stripper. - Yes. - I'm on her Instagram. - No, I'm not you. - Right? - Fuck off. - What do you mean? - She has a link in her bio. So I click it because she said I'm live right now. And I'm like, this is a bitch on Blog TV. And I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. I see it's not Blog TV. 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All right. So forget about Iggy for a minute because Iggy said, you know what? Fuck y'all. Y'all can't appreciate a real ass bitch. I'm getting off line. Right? She just rides horses every day. So she did that. So she's off line riding horses. Great. Nikki now. What did she think about? Apparently she put a do not disturb sign on her hotel door and would you fucking believe the cleaning people went in there anyway. I mean, she put the sign up. That's rude. Why the fuck are we going? Why are we hearing? I'm the only one confused by shit like this. I mean, just because she's famous. She can't complain about it. I'd be annoyed. Don't disturb me bitch. I might be in here popping it on a handstand. I don't want you seeing all that. I told you don't disturb me. That's what they made it for. What do people just feel like so entitled? Am I like the exact opposite of that? They made the do not disturb sign for literally one reason. Guess what it was? Not to disturb you. You know that Nikki Minaj is a fucking super duper star. Yes, I'm fully aware of that. And this is what we're using on the caliper floor to fight housekeeping because they came in the room when I had to do not disturb you. Well, give me the backstory. She went on Twitter. What do you mean? What's the end of the story? That was the story. The sign was on the door. The housekeeping people came in and then she went on a long ass rant. And now I'm looking at my timeline saying why is this bitch? Was she complaining about her? Was she trying to get action? Was she trying to tweet the hotel like fire your employees? She was just bent. Yeah, both both both both both. You got to go back. You follow her. I'm sure you're fucking one of the Barbies. So I'm surprised you wanted Barbies and you missed all of this. I was actually working today. So let me not just direct this at her. Anytime celebrities do that, it comes off away. It looks it looks it looks like you're acting like you guys aren't humans too. I've seen you even be upset like people like criticize every little fucking thing and it's like hard because it's like you're still a fucking human being at the end of the day. Like you have feelings, you say random shit like. Yeah, I'm a sensitive. Yeah, it sucks. Like that shit like you know maybe because I'm new at this maybe because I'm new at this and it's just like damn like people must forgot that I got a mother and a father too. Like fuck you mean like my feelings be hurting sometimes and sometimes I feel like I don't think I know privacy like I don't like it's just like damn when I'm shopping like hey bitch can you come over here it's like I don't ever want to be like no because I want to look like a bitch and everything but it's just like there's like for example somebody took a picture of me right and then when they took a picture of me I saw it and there was talking shit about me and it's like fuck you mean you see this why you can't be nice to me and I don't know like that whole people criticizing me and talking about me it's a little news to me it's something I guess I gotta adapt to it but right now like you know I'll be a little sentimental and whatever you clap back sometimes sometimes I have to clap back shit is hard my best friends will tell me like stop fucking replying to people but it's like you I fuck you guys 70 best friends by the way I have clarity on which who are the most careless the one that gets the most angry at me for replying to people because I really give them the time of day but sometimes I say some dumb shit it's mean yeah it's all they mean like fuck you like they were criticizing my carpet the day I'm like bitches this picture is not about my carpet she's like bitch you better replace that shit oh you mean like the mean shit you said about while they when he happened to see it yeah well I wasn't adding him this is different people come to my pictures to be in my comments to troll me I shared my opinion on Twitter without adding him because I wasn't trying to bother or interrupt his life or these people come to me to comment on my pictures to tell me that I'm a fucking ugly troll whore that looks like I drink Bacardi all day long and then I'm somebody's auntie look and then they call me Tia Marissa like that's not nice in their defense you kind of look you kind of look like you drink Bacardi a lot I don't drink Bacardi a lot you 100% look like you drink Bacardi on a regular basis they call me somebody's thought the ass auntie that looks like they drink Bacardi all day long but that's a accurate definition you're wearing truck fit I am wearing truck fit shout out to my against hoop earrings at almost 28 years old yes red hair yes and fucking what what is wrong with Chuck's truck fit and Moses of a fucking Maurice Malone James ooh you gotta let you do these things are like 30 dollars for like Joyce Leslie or suko jeans what did you have to do to get the truck fit nothing I think I didn't do anything the song said other what it was they just sent me a package I came in today to do this podcast and Marissa was in a bathroom getting hair and makeup done I was not getting my hair makeup done oh no no no no no no clearly the hair part was a joke let me get a joke off so you can make up done why exactly because of a date later yeah what who are you going on a date with nobody is your business well you borrowed up I did but that's because he keeps asking me questions where'd you meet this gentleman on an app what app not telling that app because they didn't cut a check you met a man on an app yes I met a couple and some of them are psycho that's souls so what that's fine they're not gonna cut a check anyways Delta that's where he came from the guy that gave me the buddy pass on soul swing yep party would you ever meet somebody on an app a goddess you know where Instagram came out and everything I met this guy you know on his pictures he was like he's so good and everything he look like a fine Jamaican thing and when I saw a person like yo I had to dip it then it was fucking ugly how did you dip out of this date you just van she disappeared she walked on water she just vanished where did he take you go poof we went to the um to the Labor Day parade and everything and I was like that's a pretty good thing that my cousins call and I'm like yo I'm gonna go to the Trinidadian fucking flow and that and I get it out the crowd but then it was madly never again never never I have a very relatable story to the situation if we want to bring back the story time segment of here for me and DMS and why hopefully Cardi can guide you in the right direction after this yeah it was a very crazy situation so I would like all of your commentary when you guys have heard the story before but what the same Delta story no the DM story about how I learned why you probably shouldn't DM people oh let's see I end up in a shitty situation I want to hear it again if I remember pun intended it's here so a couple years ago so last year I had broken up with my ex and I had gotten over my little like morning period you know sometimes you need like the I don't want to talk to any guy like I hate everybody whatever so then it was time for the ho phase right so I was kind of just you know live in life you weren't a whole before I was gonna say are we still in the face the wind of the face is just a period of time you find a prison you really like that's when the whole phase yes okay yeah but it's a I mean for some it's a faith and so there's this person that I have been like wanting for like years right I had a huge crush on him so right so I sent him my favorite nude on DM at this time I had just got my titties done I had lost a lot of weight because I was on the breakup diet which means I was eating air every day and then little scrappy was single at that point so I took a really good nude and I sent it to this person on DM and I sent a beautiful message along with it I said I'm totally available to talk politics or ride your dick like a pony either one um so which by the way I don't even ride at all so she she sent that type of message one day into her whole face I was like a we can do I hope that's like a professor who knew that you were like the mic I'm a writer I'm good at writing I don't really knew it that was not good of writing creative writing you know creative but someone so new it being a whole I have the knowledge I had a whole phase of my breakup before that you know what I mean so is my second go round oh yeah okay so they welcomed you back yeah yeah yeah yeah I gotta get it let it open up your seat is right here Marisa thank you everyone I'm back so I didn't think he'd see the DM I figured he gets like a lot every single day but um lo and behold I would think it was like two days later I have no idea so lo and behold a couple days later fuck off uh so I got another DM back and he was like what's your number and I was like holy fuck it's lit right so I sent my number right away I say nothing else with my phone number so then two three four five days pass and he doesn't text me so I'm like oh my god I'm asking John like you know on average when you get a girl's number when do you like how long does it take to text her like am I should I follow up and Joseph just relax like he's gonna text you whatever yeah because I think my line was uh I think my line was the yo you not even a fucking hit you right away type bitch like and they could get your number and hit you like in a month 39 later like yo let's go you so then I'm seeing pictures of him online right I'm like well he obviously is at his phone she's seeing pictures online I mean like you weren't searching no no they're like available just the time I'm gonna follow up with a new DM this is like I don't know the old system of DMs I don't know how they work now but so like it will pop back she does not do one now I don't really send EMs anyway this is my I learned my lesson this time graduated yeah I will never send a DM after you're out of your whole face she graduated to soul swipe so I write my name my number on notepad right and I take a screenshot of it send that to him in a new DM so that it'll pop up at the top and I add the message like you obviously got so excited that I gave you my number that you forgot to text me LOL make sure you use it right I'll see you the thirsty bitch - I waited a whole week I hate thirsty bitches yo yo you double messaging me my name I'll be a friend I know your word you do it like two days later you are the double message girl so alright so then I wake up in the morning can I get there it works don't let Joe clown him for double texting a bitch once yeah so I wake up early yes you never on this double text never the double text you got me oh don't try to clean it up with the Duke no you got the text thanks for my back to Mottie story yeah so I wake up in the morning and he's he's there and he was like I'll be in New York tonight can you are you free I'm like fuck yeah I'm free are the whole double DM so I was like oh yeah I'm probably be around I'll fly myself up to me up so all of a sudden it's late right so I hop up I fucking run the dyke me and get my eyelashes done shout to cat so I do all that shit right so now I'm ready actually I was just okay right so I'm all ready to go right so then I had an event to go to that night so I went with my home girl she's like my whole friend that like I know I can leave her and like go do some whole shit and she'll just like be down for the count and like those friends are necessary yeah definitely any one of those friends you know my best friends aren't they're not like that shout out to the quad so you so I get to the event right so I'm there with chillin this great like a concert situation I get the text like hey what's up it's such and such I didn't even wait for him to follow up tell me in a dress nothing I threw my keys at my home girl I'm like bitch take my car I'm hopping into uber I'll be back I don't know when I'm gonna be back I might be tomorrow it might be sometime tonight come get me when I'm ready she's like okay so I fucker run downstairs and I'm texting was it really sunny outside no it's like ten o'clock at night why is why why I'm just trying to figure out why are you with this thirsty thing no it's not big no it's huge I will get there this podcast will not turn into fucking no absolutely not y'all gonna do that shit on somewhere else so I need a national lip service so we're I'm running down right and so he's texting me like oh kind of my my apartment is downtown Manhattan la la la la I'm like boom grateful now you're running from Bay owned to downtown I'm not I'm in Brooklyn at this point in my story in my story in Bay I live in Bay owned I live in Jersey I said in my story you're in Bay owned okay I don't even know why we're in Bay owned okay so I ran to the city in like the band okay boom the band when I had to run a junior for the cheesecake oh got it sorry everybody don't worry about it slow so I'm so excited about this story so I happen uber I get to his apartment right so he's like ring the pen house I'm like okay cool so I'm ringing the pen house I'm standing downstairs for like ten minutes right he's not answering the door I'm not understanding why when obviously you're in the house right so I'm like what is he doing so then I had such a good joke to add in on who this is don't please thank you so then I finally he finally bothers me and right so then I get to the elevator I go upstairs now ten houses as you guys know most of you there's only no hallway like it just opens to the door and you either have to go in or go back in the elevator no I don't know that I ain't been up now all right well that's how that worked so the door we fuck more caners yeah don't try to try to put me in different life we just be happy they've a bed for me so the elevator door opens and the money trying to see sound fancy around the queen no I'm just saying that's how you know how goes boo right so the door open you know right girl it ain't even no hallway right now so the door opens his elevator and his door is a jar but he's not there so I'm a little concerned because I'm like I don't want to go in this man's house I don't want to hear the word a jar in this story so like I didn't know whether to just go in and because he's not there but obviously he left it open for me so I'm like fuck it I'm just I'm just going so I go in there and I'm calling for him he's not answering I'm calling his phone he's going to say scrap why is it a little scratch why is it down to I'm giving you my version of this story red cafe where are you scrappy I'm here okay your door was a job your door it was a jar I know it's a job right there girl no I mean your no your door was a jar not got me John you with that loud nope but bam all right great yeah so I'm looking around it's like a stranger it's like a stranger's apartment like there's paintings of people with their middle fingers up and there's like a thousand trillion candles and a big ass chandelier it's a bad ominous right like dark as hell like it was just weird as shit and I'm still calling him or romantic or weird so then I'm like maybe it's a test maybe he's watching me on a camera to see if I use my phone and take a picture and put on Instagram or something so I'm gonna pass this test and I'm gonna sit at this big ass lunch style table situation it was like a big wooden table like it belonged to Hogwarts that's crazy and I'm gonna put my phone face down if he's looking at me and then I'm gonna just stand here with my hands folded so I do that right I said that for 10 minutes like no no idea what this guy is I'm just sitting in the strangers I could have robbed him no did you think about using your phone no I called him I called him multiple I'm not weird right now so suddenly finally after 10 minutes out of the back of the apartment why is anything sudden after 10 minutes yeah there's no sudden at all this is actually been sitting there hands folded doing nothing and suddenly the door wasn't a job so he comes like floating out of the back like a phoenix rising out of the ashes right and he was like oh I hate to interrupt what would have been the time you would have left I got to see your first level here we're at 10 minutes right what if we hit I mean obviously okay then I would have to go like he might have oh my mighty mighty mighty mighty mighty let's not lie it's not lying but let's not lie on the lunch table it's not lying in front of Cardi though she already knew she was lying my word I don't like a guy making me feel like like fuck you me you're making me wait yeah what if he had a jar that's what guys like that's the thing guys like when you were in thirsty night I'm going to be wanting a sex niggas I'm going to have sex now that I learned her own yo yo okay it gets way worse so he finally because he's like my bad I was shaving and I was like oh let's grab any of my beer right so then he was like I'll come to the back I'm like alright cool this is great so we go to the back mind you we haven't we've met before like in passing but I don't think he knows me like at all right so we go to the back and he look and he's getting a phone call and he looks at me he's like take all that off and then he just walked outside take that you're in the park at all I know you see I'm getting in that guy to try to get out of this said jacket on right she the print truck fitting me off hey all that bullshit you go go through that you said you said you said he would have real nigga big so at that point I was like wait a second wait did he mean like all my clothes did he mean like my pants because I couldn't sit on his bed without my pants on I had my grillets of course you did but you're two years old so I'm like I'm like mad concerned at this point I'm like you know I don't want to take my pants off and that's all he meant because I don't have any underwear on so I'm gonna think like I was overly excited about about this whole situation I think he knew about now wait wait she didn't want wait I didn't want to be your ass naked and be like whoa like I wasn't wait time out PSA out there because I hear a lot of women out there over the years I've heard them say see he must think I'm stupid no I didn't think that this is why we may think that sometimes I just want y'all to listen to Marissa really briefly here just don't go ahead that's it okay yeah so um so then I just stand there for another 10 minutes this guy has no concept of time and I'm just like I'm not gonna get naked because I don't know if that's what he meant so I just stood there fully clothed right you know what I learned throughout experience and time when a guy asked you to go to his crib don't ever think that is like oh yeah go to the crib and chill no it really means fuck fuck yeah I never this learned it like I learned it that day is that what those mentos heathens are out there Jesus oh my right Joe you you shot I really thought we were gonna watch the Netflix or something like get to know each other a little bit talk about our feelings I started to realize like yo when a guy asked you to chill in the crib that means just fuck like a tour of my house means a tour of my house and that is it I normally call women no don't even try it and the only reason I don't know I know yeah she got you Rory she knows something on you I just like to talk about my feelings when women come over mmm yeah I was thinking we might talk about some but apparently not well no you were in the middle of your story right yeah cuz because you've built it up so it's got to have a big kaboom to end yeah it's simply just fucking about 45 minutes so uh so the queen here we can be here in the queen tall the queen has mad other shit you can do it right here so then uh so finally he comes back after 10 minutes and he just looks at me puzzled like what do you like what what are you doing and I'm like I wasn't sure what you meant he was like take your clothes I'm like hey so I get butt ass naked right he gets butt now he gets like socks off and everything like he's completely naked no I'm actually I have a shirt on actually I have a shirt all right fuck you fuckers so then we on the bed this is man I'll just standing there and getting naked yeah it was just so this is loving his ass I'm always might have been a great assert to ever do it hey thank you sir so then he was like are you freaky are you nasty and I was like I'm a lady I don't know I'm both like I don't even know the difference I'm so not a lady hey are you a lady no I'm not a lady so then he was like a human or a man you've got morals bitch I don't know do you know I got no more I'll tell you for anything Danny oh I love those bitches shout out to y'all man so then he was like um he's like I like my nipples licked and I was like oh okay the queen is not impressed so I was like this is really bizarre I've never done that before so I'm like licking his nipple so you do it yeah because I'm like whatever we're here now so I kind of felt like a cat lapping at milk like it was just a very strange like it just didn't feel appropriate like I'm just like licking his nipple I'm like I don't know if this is turning him on this is doing nothing for me I feel really odd so then I just stuck him head whatever so fast forward give him head then we have sex wait how long were you giving him a wait time now wait I don't get him wait you just so you stopped licking his nipple you said whatever whatever I started giving him head then you said now fast forward these kids might not know what fast forward mean cuz these I bought what I know what I was repeating but then you say fast forward and I'm giving I'm reiterating like how long he's sucking this niggas did not that long we're not fast fast forward is bitch I didn't fast part that long I went from head from nipple to dick now we're fucking right so then none of but how long with this were you sucking this gentleman's I would say 15 sucking 15 sex then he came here that's a lot of time yeah that's a lot of time yeah I had got it no no he actually stopped me he was like no no no no fuck him so anyway it's got to be trash wait and then I still got 15 more so then so then so then he was yeah if I be my dick suck no we poured in your story okay if I mean my dick suck for 15 minutes my G that's not a long time I would have lost my guy is getting here for 15 minutes that means that he been fucking a lot you know like if you haven't been fucking I might fall asleep well that's probably why I don't relate cuz y'all mean what cuz I don't be fucking alive oh please anyhow anyways you know what I feel like if you have to suck dick for like 15 minutes like it's just like probably he's been fucking yeah like that's on a different star point so then all right so you're on his nipple tell us about it hey do all that so you got your tongue right here right he was like um okay what nipple wasn't then he was like can you suck my dick again I'm like okay he's like oh shit it's like can you go lower and I'm like okay yeah suck my knee just suck my knee just suck my ass like you think that's gay giddy a guy getting exactly that gay wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait I don't think that's gay how do we get to his ass wait you hear this story wait to hear how he wants this so I'm like he wants his legs up listen listen to shit so that he was like to his ass in there listen can I get there so he was like he's like how do you want me and I'm like I don't know what you mean like I've only like oh yeah so he was like time out now in my version of Marissa's story as soon as this guy says how do you want me to pop and Joe to see how do you want it come on from the surrounds how do you want it now he was actually playing shut it down to you hey my story's way to open here if people actually hearing my good ad lip to this story okay go ahead okay so I was like what he I don't know I was like he's on his back at this time I'm like what else can you do right like regular like he's regular you know like as if he was getting hit like you're just there so my time could go hey so then he so he lifts up his legs a little bit he was like you know go ahead and I'm like okay so then he stops me like I want to make it easier for you and I was like what do you what do you mean like I don't know how much easier we could get he gets off the bed he goes to the wall he turns around and he puts his hands on the wall like he's being searched by a cop and like as in the air can we get on and I'm like a little wind about what is happening right now I like like a cop car officer whatever this is officer so I'm like I'm doing it right now that's why so it's suppose when a guy gonna get his ass in now it's supposed to be like a surprise like I don't like regular like you're right I'm right I just when I get so surprised so wait I guess worse yeah I know they got a hit but you haven't been but but I wish a bitch boy put a fucking face by my ass I'm not so surprised it's this semblance you're like like in a ball yeah don't go lower and you all up in the ball and then yes you have seen it let's do that bitch is gonna get a holly home alright so then so then he's like wait wait I'll make it even better and I'm like oh we're getting better than this how much better could it be no then he gets on the bed right all fours toot his ass in the air and was like okay so lick it but then why you do that I need you to jerk my dick with your right hand the dirty trombone and then pull on it with your left hand so mind you I can't even walk and like chew gum at the same time so he gave me like three different directions I'm like what like there was some I'm like oh she might be little I don't even know I'm like trying so I'm like breaking out in this is why you never send a DM again in your life like this is what the fuck you get for this shit but you didn't let me wait women always leave that part out of story so then he's like okay so when I come this is what I want I'm gonna lay on my back you're gonna lick my time out time out he still has no time out no this is a second come now you're eating this guy's ass is as you're doing in his dick all of these different things wait when did when is he able to give this instruction he's just talking when he's down there he's not doing anything with being on all fours right he's able to talk all the way that's a wild position my niggas he's talking so he's like I'm a flip over this is how I like it so you got to lick my nipple and then you got to jerk my dick and then I'm gonna film it but then when you're gonna watch me delete it to we're just gonna watch it back together but then and then you're gonna give me head while I when I come or something like that and I'm like yo what so I'm looking at it while he was no he's turned over so then he did that and then he filmed it no he got on his back something tells me if he's on all fours he doesn't mind looking on his back and then he filmed it that way looking his nipple and then filmed it and then then he deleted it and the funny shit is like when you know when you delete it you can see the last picture and he had like a love meme it's like the last thing that was before the videos I'm like this is so weird so we finished he hands me summer's Eve wipes and I'm like I don't know why he has right what a gentleman right so then so then he was like what a classy guy he's like so do you have any kids and I'm like that's that was his next question yes so I was like no he's like is your father in your life and I was like yeah he's like do you have any friends with kids and I'm like yeah he's like is their dad in their life and I'm like nah that's real freaky yeah I was in American cycle no sounds like I don't like I mind you I'm like call him I over right because it is not for like I'm like welcome there and then I think you did all of that you did all of that and you don't feel yeah I just want to get the fuck out of that situation the whole situation was weird to tell so then he's like oh so um he's like dear friends with kids I'm like he's like his their father in their life and I'm like yeah I was just actually in my friend's wedding like she married her daughter's father he's like oh do you have pictures and I'm like what yeah I showed him like a couple pictures of the wedding he's like oh that's so nice and I'm like I don't mean to cut you off you said he was shaving before yeah well since he did all that oh I have an idea of maybe what he was shaving with what was he shaving with Rory Joe do you have an idea of what he was shaving with I don't want to come behind that with the devil I'm not coming off mighty being doing the robot that's great advertising in the bedroom that might be kind of lit though man I gotta find me a knife and then bitch to just fucking do whatever he's fucking say hey what's up my two bitch now look my nipples that's why what is he he's black see that's why black man love white bitches because yeah kiss me am I yeah yeah extra cuz I want to be like nigga yo you're bugging and talking I can't you suck the fart like once a nigga like getting his ass like to know that we are freaky shit you don't even give a fuck about her no more you that's the shit I gotta even make him come I gotta be instructing like that during my FaceTime sex session yeah are you on all fours during your FaceTime sex no they don't look like behind you remember real life your shoulder not niggling it for the laptop I'm like I'm like them all fucking Steven Spielberg a fucking FaceTime sex what about shaving can you talk about fucking shaving please oh see that's a little bit all right here we go this episode is brought to you by bevel the first and only shaving system designed specifically for course curly here and sensitive skin start shaving smarter and say goodbye to razor bumps with bevel check out get bevel.com today that's use code what's the code Joe Joe use code Joe to get 20% off your first month at get bevel.com that's right gtbl.com that was good that was good thanks bro you might might get your ass eating off that I don't really know I'll play them and I'll play them as you know what but to answer your question card you get in your ass eight is not gay it's not not gay when you request it like that how you get your ass gay makes you get to when you get your ass that was gay that was gay but my thing is you you shouldn't be allowed to speak of this man and disgust I'm not hey I did it I didn't take it that's where she was speaking and disgust it was just a mate like well I don't want no bitch that ever came through and did all that for me to leave and be somewhere to tell my yo nigga Joe is super gay all right me personally I would just like to have a better rapport with the bitches that I get on all fours for step in real nice no right you will bless him is over he exactly did luckily I never will but I might have to question niggas saying to all my motties amazing head though you already in minutes whoa whoa whoa get to spell that I don't know I don't know I don't know because the thing is he he don't like hey he likes that other extra shit so you know what okay the queen the queen lucky my name is right back full circle every time you lucky son he's it's other yeah all right so I like story time with Marissa yeah that was uh that was my craziest moment in my life I've never gone back to that kind of situation I never sent another DM in my life after that and I've never found myself in such a shitty situation literally pun intended so is anybody getting you something for Christmas I know my man Joe you're gonna give me a fucking card I got a lot of people shit for Christmas though it's like damn that's good every time I try to do some Christmas shopping I end up just buying myself old one to shit yeah but I mean I saw your mom in Walgreens last week I bought my mom something yes you tell me I bought my mom something I'm trying to decide if I've been talking to a few of these uh holds long enough to get in presence you're gonna get a label a present everybody simmer down first of all that's number one I don't know what you talk about or do I live a life that I don't live life the way that you do so I have no clue who or what I bet he's gonna be talking about or why um if there was an elle boo does she consider yeah dating cool yeah I think the first step of the ring problem here queen is that you keep talking about she like I ain't got all the bitches that's number one I got all the bitches do you gonna have to get I'm talking about I'm talking about a let the rough holes queen I'm not talking about like just one I'm talking about all of them and then you got a nice voice and you like skin I bet you do but like I have to be my next verified drop yo hey Austin that one piece of audio that you just said that might have to come on before a new joke that might replace new Joe button you just start our podcast with that every week hey hold that clip and you got into space for make a note of whatever she just said yeah we're gonna find a way to you that motherfucker cardi is amazing all right now but uh I'm joking around of course but uh I don't really like doing Christmas shopping all that tomorrow's actually supposed to be today rather supposed to be the most gridlock day traffic wise in the city oh I changed a lot of plans because of that it's gonna be raining rain automatically means bad drivers and now you're talking about Christmas shopping people are off work last minute shoppers I want nothing to do with traffic uh so I'm dead and all of that Christmas Eve I don't really have any plans what are you doing what are you doing for Christmas I'm hosting getting that money yeah but uh you know what I hosted on Thanksgiving and I was very miserable because I'm really close with my family so I say that if I'm gonna host it better be in New York so you know I'm hosting two two places in New York you know what I'm saying somewhere in Long Island so I'm speaking hey you're not gonna but uh I gotta see I spent all the money on them got them toys and toys for us I gotta see my knees in my little brother opening things up in my face we're not gonna put money in your man's commissory not gonna put money in your man's commissory oh no I'm good today today was his day all right there you go next week never day look at you that's dope I do respect you on it down the way that you are yes I respect women that hold it down for uh there are significant others who may be away yeah if you played me though my fuck is that so well no I believe that's the attitude you chef fuck is that so that's right all right baby i believe you look at me like you're about to y'all me too wait is he light skin with a nice voice yeah word no we good we good we good we good we gave I remember one night I gave your best friend a whole lot of my money one night went to us aye yeah basically it was something and I don't never pay her no mind what's her name with the curly the curly afro little light thing i don't know i've been seeing that girl for years right and I retired from going to strip club but one night I creeped back in there it was an empty night and she looked a lot better to me than she had ever looked before or maybe this was the first time I had ever looked at her for real at all and I sure enough gave her a couple dollars too and was mad about it the next day why oh no we don't do that we don't do that I ain't doing that what you mean why you mad no tipping a strip club what the hell would I be doing doing that for me somebody is somebody somebody ain't never fucked and no and no plan like a sport like no no no I throw money as a sport like it's like a sport like not for me it's fun I hate sports if that's a sport if that's a sport I'm not athletic I want nothing to do with that particularly sport let me at the bottom of no bitch it don't I don't feel a little girl now watching my fucking harder money fucking going to air because the bitch went to D.R. and got some lipo don't know I'm not talking about her I'm the fig no no no no I can't do that if I'm giving somebody some money it's because they add either a really good friend of mine and I'm supporting their whatever their ambitions um or I'm fucking or you know what that that gave you a but that was a long time ago but no that gave you a good like that gave you like a good like you know a good feeling in my heart a good talk like it's like yo you know he was like oh we saw Joe Biden when yeah we fuck with him yeah we like him oh no I like her I like her then then we like you you know and then and then when I saw you in front of what's that club did I stop going to um are they still open lit was it lit lit by Riviera let's close lit it's closed lit is closed right I think so it's like the name I haven't been here yet I think the last time I was with you you and I haven't been here in quite some time but then I saw you outside of there I think it was there and I was like yo fuck with that shit shine I like the videos or maybe it was last I don't remember where it was but I do remember saying that so I'm taking I'm taking full part in seeing the vision early man yeah yeah oh yeah oh yeah you even invested you were a first investor yeah man bitch got my motherfucking singles Austin where we at with time is going crazy because I tweeted that Cardi's here I didn't hear what he said yeah me neither hour 24 hour 24 what is he saying an hour 24 minutes an hour and 24 minutes see what the queen does oh my god we've been we've we rarely go over our yeah queen uh first of all I apologize for you having you here so now it's fun I heard some real freakin shit like I actually feel real wet because Shorty made me feel like I ain't a freak like that hey it was a one time no no no let the fucking grill fool you I didn't know what I signed up don't let the Mendez fool you I know I get you have Hennessy tattooed on your arm yeah that's my sister's name oh yo we're spirited did you forget it nah I'll be sick I'm gonna have you know that's a valid question that's the her love thing you know it's like yo I fucked with your god get you in my body it's big too yes and it's a wonderful name I like Hennessy no shit no shit roar you like Hennessy you should get those uh the flowers uh red maybe Hennessy don't like red because she's got that complexion that that would look good yeah she does I'm a corny ass bitch I got mad dumb ass niggas need to tear it on me do you really I feel like it's easy to cover the worst of two oh yeah that's why I do them in red I do them in red so you could Marissa got name she ain't even never been with I don't have any but she's about to DM it I have my own name that's it what do you mean it's his name and man art is young berg I got every artist like all of dumb in my back yeah yeah we're we have some questions from fans of our name is podcast later via Twitter uh I'm not gonna say his twitter name but how does it feel to be the voice of the new generation of hoes I didn't even thought I was a voice I don't even think I'm the a voice of hoes I feel like I'm just a voice of everything because they're sometimes they'll talk about shit they're bitches like me go through or people in the hoe go through I will all up now I don't want a lot of responsibility and no offense queen I don't own one card to be the voice of everything everything everything everything that I could cover or that I could go through like that's what I cover up or whatever believe some things to the other people do some things to Obama and shit uh what are your thoughts on slut shaming come from my man Nigel D well it's a lot shaming yeah it's I mean it's a little what the fuck it is it is what it is like they're certain things that they're sluts that's let's do that is like yeah you should be ashamed of that bitch and there's certain things that is like yo wait a minute just because I'm out here showing have my skin and everything you know a lot of people just think that everything is being a hoe if you show a lot of skin and everything oh you being a hoe bitch you think guy gave me a flat-ass stomach for me not to show it right that shit on top of gem on top of gem here like I'm not I'm not telling girls to suck dick every single day I'm saying when you suck dick do it good like I'm not saying to fucking sell your pussy be this and that I'm what I'm trying to say is you know guys they use bitches for what they want she got used to gay so gay exactly now so you should have used him and got what the fuck you want what the hell you want not your first letter you should have that phone share my fucker after they make you like I got the show that's like that somebody else oh man cardie that's the type of things that I be trying to promote I'm not trying to say like yeah you failed you failed the queen okay yeah you let cardie down hard cardie bless you man party bless you oh man um what is the queen's ideal date what what your ideal date what's date i mean it is if i like you like if i like you oh you know the 25th i want the day the day the 21st is monday what's the 23rd right what date oh i don't know what the date is all right you can listen to this on any day right windows come out that day you got a smartphone that was good though all right go ahead if i like you and shit i would like to go to dinner with you just to just the i think fuck as nigga so if uh a good day for me is if you text me back and like you i had a good time to work but if i don't like you and i'm using you for what i want my ideal date is to go shopping i don't like you i don't even want to see you i don't want to eat talk about it i want to go and get what i want from you but if i like you i would like like oh yeah you you good time good time good vibes i want to see you tomorrow that's an idea date because like i said i day fuck ass niggas fuck ass niggas is gonna fuck you in the first day as day or get the rest eight or get the rest on all four so hey austin yeah austin austin don't guard this audio piece with your life man i just want to be on record is saying this is some of the greatest audio that i probably have ever heard my entire life i know you that's pretty interesting this really i mean this cool how many podcasts have you done i think i've done like like so all right so you ain't so she's never done it so she's never done a podcast thank this is this this pretty lit i like this thank you i fucked with it i fucked with it thank thank you man thank you this was amazing it was i hope all you i'm blessed i feel blessed i know i think our lives are significantly better now i mean karate karate karate bless us all man i hope you mirror mortals and peons and peasants out there hope you took something from this along with Rory myself and the not uh not worthy at all mottie but we couldn't be more let's bow our heads for seven moments and just have a moment of silence for all those that wish they can be in the presence of the beautiful queen karate be right now i'm gonna get amen you could have been bitch first of all you ain't never in your life not one family member has ever asked you to start the prayer nobody said all right y'all the food is done marissa we can't stop marissa go and get the babies and come on and say the family prayer so we can eat now nobody wait i'm also not from the south so what oh yeah it would have white people voices like uh marissa all right paula marissa come on that the uh the apple pie is ready no they make like uh kabasi and sauerkraut and ham yeah word word what's that what is this oh yeah how to get some joyful joyful plan why don't you put it by the mic so people actually hear it i unplug the ox well why don't you plug the honks back up all right now you just look at it all you just should have a guy with canvas on this hey winded vory would come here why is vory attractive now this is the second time you physically judge me hey i'm not doing anything with jesus oh is it a haircut all right let's wrap up uh you like crack yourself up sometime oh my god i don't do it i don't do it but if i don't first of all i try i tried i tried it give you turn it off for a minute right yeah it is a bad spot okay i just no i feel like fucking laughter uh helps to avoid things like high stress uh levels high blood pressure all things that make black people have heart attacks and shit why you taking mad scientific got mad serious and shit karate i want to thank you i want to thank your your manager i want to be on record saying i think he's doing a phenomenal job i agree um so whatever you two got going on keep it up thank you keep it up you're a friend of the podcast we will be rooting for you and all of your future endeavors except when you just go around punch and spanish bitches in the face like that's crazy all right it's kind of entertaining yeah it is i can't wait but that it's i'm watching i got bamboozled just protecting yourself i get it yeah self-defense self-defense self-defense not get out i get it uh any last words from the two of you no just thank you um wait i wanted to say thanks for coming and thanks to your manager and thanks to shanel for making it happen what you don't know if any of these if mine is fantastic i'm gonna go host and detroit now shane i'm juicing me i'm pipping the game out here as you should as you should as you should all right cool i'll talk to you after what i got a couple of bitches they want me to tell you that they love you yeah oh we got to take a really cute picture for the podcast art oh we got to take a picture for the brand work hey i'm gonna like me i'm about to start partying all right we are mottie mottie mottie i think it is for a minute all right i will name this podcast later episode number what is this 45 45 45 we will be back next week wait wait wait time out time out before we leave do we have to do a podcast next week like we don't need like a christmas break or no we don't get a break or some shit no break no i think we should okay mottie and vory will be back next week with the podcast mottie rory uh kim and all of her fucking hoodlums cardie all right we go go to fandoor.com/button to join my private league it's five dollars to join first place once two hundred dollars top 40 teams all win cash special offer for new users for every dollar you deposit fandoor will match you with up to two hundred bucks that gets earned as you play that's a bonus of up to two hundred dollars offer is only good for the first 50 people that sign up for my league so hurry up and get there because the spots fill up