Episode 15: Joe, Marisa, Rory, Peter & special guests Emanny & Eleven8 quickly recap Memorial Day weekend, which holidays warrant the most hoe activity, Joe's kickball pitching form, and Homie Court is called to session! What are the charges? Who is guilty? What does "smooth & symmetrical" mean?
The Joe Budden Podcast
I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 15
My check one two one two my check one two one two my check one two one two and we are back Are we rolling Joey? We are rolling I will name his podcast later episode number 15 and find correct That's not me asking. I'm done asking This is episode 15. Yes. I am sure of it. Mm-hmm. I don't need any confirmation from anyone nope And yeah Here we are. We have a room full of people everyone's having a smooth and symmetrical day We have my wonderful and amazing co-host Rory here. Hello everybody. Uh Mottie's here Mottie the body My pretty new Pete. What is this called a protein shake? What is this called? Uh, we have Mottie the body here Uh, we have friend to the show who's never been on the show, but he's a friend to the show So he's a friend to the show too. Uh, Mottie is here. Hello. Uh, and we will edit the R&B Well, I was about to say even your hello. So I say the R&B. I got a bad fucking radio voice Oh, it's all right. I'm trying to change. Hey, you wanna speak up a little my wonderful voice will make up for your deficiencies Uh, and we have another friend to the show who's never been on the show Where's her mic back? She's a friend to the Joe, but we have to be very careful about what we tell friend to the Joe because she blocks for a living Um kind of watch these bloggers word. These fuckers We have Doesn't if you are in this room you are subject to anything Did I call you by your friend name or your idea like professional real name? Whatever you want. I haven't as my phone is both So that's corny it should grow 11/8 Nobody else knows what to call me. I'll just call myself Well, I was going to introduce you as 11/8 and that's all sort of Twitter name at 11 the number eight Thank you. And we also have Uh This is the part where I get a tad bit confused We have Mottie the bodies Okay, can people understand that's not really my nickname and only Joe calls me that so please I heard a bunch of people call you at this weekend. I know they're making it comments on youtube and the mjk interview I did. They're like, oh shit, it's Mottie the body. There's not my fucking name. Dead to shameless mjk No, it was my first youtube debut and everyone's in the fucking comments going Mottie the body Mottie the body because you are Mottie the body It's Marissa Mendez Are you finished? Yes All right, we also have Mottie the bodies in turn in the room Uh and her name is dreya Now I'm a tad bit confused About a few things. I don't know really know why Mottie the body has an intern Uh, she's doing blame ebro.com training her today And that's why she's with me because we're doing training and then we're going to do some more training and then we have an event So she's like a granddaughter intern. I don't know exactly what that means She's like ebro's you guys both were doing ebro shit Yeah, so what all right. I like run his site. He Uh this girl dreya looks like she is all of 13 years old Yeah Oh, she's not though All right, 15. No, it looked real. It looks real tiger ish to me What are you 19? 20 She's 20 She's gonna be allowed to get into this event. Did you just turn 20 like a minute ago? No Okay, November Okay, are you a virgin? Joe, I hope she is She doesn't she doesn't look like anything section. She'd be happening there. Leave her alone. Are you in college? She is pen state She's out the window All right, so those are the people in the room. I want to welcome everybody. I want to welcome all of our listeners out there I hope everyone had a wonderful memorial day weekend. Um Or it was smooth and symmetrical. Um So today is like national get your whole back day What? Tuesday Tuesday the Tuesday following a holiday weekend. No memorial day weekend Specifically, okay. Yeah, listen. I'm a firm believer of this I think there are specific weekends and holidays that women take to be host. Okay Would you agree? I I guess so I also think that Memorial Day would be one of those weekends and holidays It might be the main one actually I feel like you could do more damage on like a fourth of july weekend. Oh, no No, no, because I feel like the weather is more guaranteed whereas memorial day. Sometimes you might hit a shaky weekend Yeah, man. Let me check this weather. I have to see how much dick I'm gonna suck. Um, no, I know I'm never over there but more Let me let me go through birthdays Was the birthday. I don't need your rhymes mighty the body birthdays I feel like women And I gave it a 40 60 Um, I'm going under on that because you know bitches might be able to do I'm gonna say they like to enjoy it with their boyfriend. But any event that you are single on your birthday Um It's like okay for you to be a whole on that day. Mm-hmm. Oh, so we got birthdays New Year's Eve I don't really like that about New Year's Eve. I don't feel like that about New Year's Eve. Um, women stick together on New Year's Eve They don't really branch off like they do. Yeah, uh Labor Day weekend bitches as holes. I've never done anything on Labor Day week. Like I mean like I've never done an event Oh wait disclaimer. I forgot to throw this out there For the people that heard the show last week It was a very we had a very sentimental moment where we let mottie just Run off at the mouth about the way that we treat her and all the calls and text that she got and just new way of life and Way of podcast uh verbiage. We're gonna be doing That goes out the window today Uh mottie's gonna get in nope I would also like to go on record and say all this shit These motherfuckers talked about my squad and they all want to be my squad be with my squad and base want to be with my squad too So let's keep that real No, I was just talking about calling you a whole old show I wouldn't say anything about the uh squad or anything Okay, that's one that put that on very good I have really good whole joke, but i'm going to save it because I needed to do my disclaimer first So now we are at um where we at Labor Day Labor Day. It's okay to be holes Uh Memorial day. I'm probably gonna go with is number one Spring break. Yeah, that's true. Do you go on uh spring break in turn? Yeah, we hung out on where she's going to spring break. We hung out I don't let's talk to Drea too much because we can't hear her The listeners can't hear her. I do want to post a picture first so they could see how time she looks like an 11 year old But uh, she's gonna get young. She's gonna get younger as a show Uh, so we got Labor Day Memorial Day spring break Labor Day, I think is local hoeing You don't really travel. It's just a long weekend. Yeah, okay I go back to school and whatever if yeah, I think Labor Day is local hoeing I think Memorial Day, you know is a bit out of domestic And it's a little bit more your spirits are higher because you're like yo this summer's fucking coming Let's get this kick this shit off Let's go. Let's go in. Nothing says summer like a new dick in your mouth. Let's go and fuck some strange man Man really get to think of this summer rocking I'll never understand women spring break now. Um Now we were having a guy discussion over this weekend about uh How young is too young to penetrate? So i'm gonna like legally or morally morally okay? More oh my god Where is the race? Morally, uh, very, um Yeah, uh, so spring break how do you have to be to have a spring break? Uh, you can go at 18. I don't want to have sex with any girl with some spring break There's probably 22 year olds there No, I'm done with 22 years down with 23 more years speed Yeah, it's much better. Okay. I really want to be done with 23. But that's whole another uh podcast. Um, so this weekend, uh, well Not the weekend. Uh, so today's national get your hoeback day. A lot of you guys are getting your hoeback after tons of pounding and mounding Mounting fucking grinding kissing sucking fucking swallowing nothing And y'all are under wiser I wanted to come in here and and do like a list of ways to know that your girl just finished being a hoe And I do have a few but I don't know if I want to um I don't know if I want to do that today Um, I don't want to help a lot of you guys out there today. Um, bay was a hoe along with marissa's um squad But I guess we will talk about that step was a hole. Stephanie was totally not a hoe. Definitely oh Not a hoe. And you know what guys definition of a hoe and women's Definition is a bit different. Well, there was no dicks pounding and mending so there was we just drank I guess what you do a woman's definition of a hoe is any woman. That's not them or their direct friends. Not at all Women's definition of hoe friends Hoe friends are great to have. Hoe friends are great. Hoe friends are fun. Yeah, well, we were discussing that Uh having hoes is like an asset. You don't fuck all your hoes. You'd be nuts if you fucked all your hoes I think that's the part that women don't quite understand hoes are assets They're great things to have if you're fucking all your hoes. It's gonna be a liability So you can't fuck all of them part of it's a liability for you guys Who are you guys? What did I have to do with what we were just talking about? Who are you guys you guys he's saying that if you fuck all your hoes, it's going to be a liability It's a liability liability for you guys fucking the hoes because then you have all this drama and all this craziness For the hoes on the other hand, they're professionals So this is what they do for a living. This is how they keep their beds inflated and you know, this is what they do So it's not a liability for them. This is work. This is what they do. This is how they live over the whole insight So yeah, they're punching on the clock. I never really put myself in the shoes of the hoes Especially sometimes How inconsiderate am I? All right, perfect. I do like my hoes to come with a little bit of professionalism I like them to be to be well trained. A solid resume. A couple references Yeah, you gotta kind of know how this goes Like certain things when it should be implied already I don't want to have to break everything down about like I don't want to have to do like he said what you're about to do Like I don't I don't really like so what you about to do I want you to just do it and know it's time for you to go and a real hoe knows that. Yeah, see that's what I'm saying Yeah, why do you know that? I have a lot of hoe friends. What can I say? Why do you know that body the body? I didn't even say anything. You said. Yeah, you agreed you cosigned Uh, you did just sound like we were recording so We could bring this back My memorial day weekend with um, uh, and I hate to keep on saying the same shit, but I again, I realized I'm probably um I don't want to say too old because I'm not very old. Um A lot of this shit that people find fun. I just don't really find fun for some strange reason Yo, when you told when they told me you were going down there yesterday. I'm ahead. I'm like he's not gonna be too happy Uh, I've never been there. Uh, well for the listeners. We're talking about uh point pleasant dts down the show wasn't new jersey down the shore. Um In my head that seemed like a really great idea But we'll lead up to that, uh, because I do want to talk about the weekend Uh, what happened this weekend? Uh, what happened when did the weekend start friday? Oh my memories really that that's not when the weekend started stuff. Oh, man. I tell you step is still drunk And I do have a great picture of step being drunk. Oh, I'd like to see it. Um, Hey, I don't really remember when the weekend started for me. I don't remember what happened friday What is that thing? That was good saturday was any palooza. I know that so you did that i'm sure worry Can any palooza was great? Yeah, we went to house on saturday. That's a good time We went we went to house on saturday. Um, marissa met tade digs while she was drunk and couldn't walk and he had to hold her up It looked like that in the picture anyway. That's pretty much what was going on And that was a really good time. So marissa was drunk all of saturday and so were um, the rest of the squad and No, you weren't drunk stuff. Okay. So step wasn't drunk then sunday came and we had our annual kickball game with the fans that we've been doing for quite a few years now. Um, and that was amazing really good turnout I want to thank and shout out everybody that came and participated a few familiar faces Um, my team won two games in a row yet again. My team is still undefeated Um and hosey hosey's my barber hosey came and he took some really amazing pictures And I decided I decided to post one of these pictures Uh on the instagram Because I thought that it showed like uh, number one Pitching I thought it showed like number one stuff and form Yeah, because the internet was gonna see that and be like, oh, he has a great he has a great bowling ball That guy is really that guy. I thought that the instagram just rapping for this guy I thought that the internet would see this and say Now that is a pitching form. Yeah, if that guy if that guy can't do anything else He can pitch Or they'll see it and say wow what a meme this is gonna be times a billion and boy was I wrong Because that's exactly what they said Uh, they decided to put me on all types of memes Yo, I was literally like crying in my house yesterday Nobody cares if you were crying in your house yesterday Or why were you crying over the memes? As a meme Because you cry randomly so I just wanted to show No, I'm crying laughing Uh, the fucking monkeys in a barrel? Some of them, I didn't really love that one Uh, some of them were really really really funny The kickball kid The kickball kid was probably my favorite one Um Hey, we should probably make that one a cover the kickball kid was really really really really good Um, a lot of them were a reach Um Yeah, I saw a few reaches Yeah, the spiderman one was wack Yeah, it was horrible Um, and you guys uh, for those of you that haven't seen it, I think fucking bum ass, uh Complex I posted it on inflex we trust too, so if you want to go see a good friend You are pretty good with the vlogs boy before I could get the plex out of complex I put the plex into it Yeah, you just interrupted it with a plex which rhymes Which is why you're money the body Exactly So, so yeah, and then after that, uh, then we went on the deck Had a big motherfucking shindic house party like type shit But not really just like a more casual calm version of that And my neighbor was on the deck, so he was doing the same thing He had some girls over there, he used to go for the end, I used to go for mine A couple girls and it was like wow man It was like fucking like memorial day, man We are fucking doing what we should be doing It was a miracle It was great Oh yeah, then the cops came And fucking banged on my door and all types of fucking stupid shit, but whatever Shout out to the cops Um That was sunday and then monday came The staff warmer so when a chime in about monday monday came Now monday came in because monday the body had drank herself to oblivion on saturday Um, she was fired from the squad on sunday Actually, I left She was replaced I heard She was definitely replaced You really replaced me in my own squad So I left And then I opted not to go on monday because I have a fucking job So I was doing my job That implies that the rest of the squad does not have a job Well, they're all off because it's a holiday And bloggers don't really have holidays Especially with flex Tuesdays are happening Tuesdays not a holiday Steph was with us She's a blogger Tuesday You know, I just said especially with flex Jeez That sounds cool Sometimes Wow It's in a little salt and monday the body today There's no salt to have I had a great combo in my squad Just now I got a great recap of their evening It was very smooth and symmetrical I heard Who replaced you Who replaced you in the squad I think it was um Joe's Bay And it's just pretty ironic Considering that um Joe has been trashing the squad the whole time And then suddenly his Bay wants to be down with our squad I think I think Marissa has a few things Misconstrued Nope I'm not certain I should clear them up right now Because it'll be funnier later So yesterday the squad decided to go and be holes and do whole shit No one did any help Along with Stephanie AK-11-8 and along with Bay They were all holes They decided to get up Put on a string No actually they went to target They went to target to purchase a string I could have gave you a shoelace They put us some strings on And they headed down to Point Pleasant To get pissy drunk at 12 in the afternoon And it was awesome And Steph had her selfie stick with her You know I bought a selfie stick Why are you willing to leave for this? You own one of those I don't own one And how you doing? How you doing? You're implying that I brought it home And you bought the selfie stick that didn't even have the button on the bottom It was at the gas station Like it was like a dollar Like how was I supposed to know the dollar selfie stick But you did use it We did use it Well we tried to Then some hot guys took our picture for us So you did use the selfie stick We attempted to You never used it No No No Oh damn So you did carry it around I have a problem with people in these selfie sticks I want to break them over my knee Every time I see one Yeah Now I want to shout out to the guy that invented this selfie stick Kudos to you bro Who knew that you could make a fortune off of women Not knowing how to take a picture That was genius I don't know if men should be seen in public Using the selfie stick I've only seen one guy look cool When using it And that's a cinco Yeah that was old cinco And that's because he dresses pretty well And he's normally he's in Miami It's always fucking bright Like it's a million reasons why he looks better using this stick Does he do it often Or it was like a one time No he does it a lot He does it a lot He does it a lot And even then I still get a little 10% of Come on bro Just put it away And your athlete y'all should be long enough to be able to take a good picture But totally outside of that So you went to the beach Took pics with fucking strange guys Got pissy drunk Couldn't walk by five six o'clock I could totally walk Stagger to the car I totally did Pulled over on the side of the road Because nobody can make it To take a break Right? Yeah This was fun This is what women call fun He was awesome Look at the holidays What's that fun like See I call it whole shit Throwing up is not whole shit We didn't even throw up Oh it was throwing up Who threw up? I threw up on Saturday One of that And there was some throwing up Okay Now more importantly All right so I want to be done Recapping the weekend Because I don't think people care about my weekend that much Um Or can you just talk for two seconds here I can talk Just find something to fucking say What I p- I have Not a rant A mini thing to say Oh this is wonderful That pertains to this weekend I don't like when women Don't allow their friends to be hoes When they want to be hoes If a woman is clearly interested in somebody And she's not that drunk Don't give the no face From across like we all can't see what you are doing That's ridiculous Because if your friend's about to make a poor decision Then you stop your friend from making a poor fucking decision She's an adult Who isn't that drunk And is clearly interested in this myth If we're talking about That Debiage was wasted off her mind to the point she was I wasn't talking about anybody In particular I'm gonna talk about that situation Because she was dancing off beat in everything That means you're drunk That bitch was fucking wasted I was dancing off beat all the time You don't even know my friend either So you don't even know what level of drunk is He's drunk or not Again I wasn't talking about Yeah what we're talking about that Anyone in particular Well you can't now make an opinion that I didn't say Well I'm not talking about it Unfortunately we're gonna have to have homey court today The plaintiff Marty the body Nicely you're the defendant We have a slew of charges against you Will you be Will you be representing yourself Or would you like Steph to defend you Oh you know what I'll take Steph as my representation Okay Damn it We have a plaintiff Imani is the plaintiff And me and Rory will be co-council Thank you Where did you get this music from? He's the sonographer Right down everything you said You're gonna make me like I have to use the best All right Now if you are unfamiliar with homey court Marty do you know how homey court works No I don't even know what that is honestly Okay homey court is when a homey of yours Mm-hmm AKA you Okay Is flagrant Mm-hmm Does something that's totally go against Goes against homey rules and regulations Okay And charges are brought up Okay We have a slew of charges All right Against you You've piled them up Let's get them You racked them up Now You can plead You can plead down Or out to some of these charges Okay Um Some of them are class a fucking felonies Like really Like really really bad Let's get it Um How many charges do we have against Or so money Let me see let's go now Uh We have a class a Act of uh Cock blocking Mm-hmm Uh Yeah cock blocking is one That's a misdemeanor That's not a misdemeanor Cock blocking is a misdemeanor Stopping me from busing and not is Is definitely a felony That's a felony Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait Is cock blocking We're going to need more 20 minutes Uh Is cock blocking a misdemeanor? Oh no Yes the fuck it is Can we can we Cock blocking is Cock blocking is felony Yeah Yeah In a man's eye Whoa, whoa, whoa, nothing No no no Let me tell you why it's a felony Um I can see it being a misdemeanor If it's done to someone you Don't know They'll be the opposite No I think it's worse Oh it's a worse or Charging you Yeah when you're cock blocking You're friend Yeah When it's for their greater Fucking good Yeah No No No why are you to determine that Yeah Because that's why And who are you to determine that Her fucking friend And I'm going to say that Girl from a drunk decision That I know she don't want to make So don't start with me Oh clearly Clearly She enjoyed making it Mmm She didn't really make that decision She clearly enjoyed making it So you would be wrong You would be incorrect No, because that would be That would be discussed That would be discussed That would be just Telling you your charges They would just tell you your charges Yeah, they wouldn't want to just sit in here Uh so that's uh That's charged number one Cock blocking Okay You're also charged with uh The guarding The guarding of pussy That does not want to be guarded Oh, okay To totally separate charged in cock blocking Explain how that's a totally separate charge Yeah, similar It's the exact same thing No, it's not Mmm It's fine It's on the reverse side Cock blocking is You blocking uh The plaintiff's cock From penetrating Or receiving uh Some form of lubrication Okay The guarding of the friend Uh Is you guarding Then that And that's pretty talented To be able to cock block And guard at the same time You were guarding vagina I'm sorry Pardon me, pardon me, pardon me We're giving you your charges We're giving you your charges We're giving you your charges We're only giving you your charges Right this second That's all we're doing You'll have your time on the stand Okay Um The guarding of the vagina That did not want to be guarded That has nothing to do with blocking a cock Of a vagina is trying to make its way To the cock that's being blocked It's the same thing It's no, it's not It's in the girl term Okay It's a girl form So, okay But it's But you're talking about the same person And it's the same trial right? It's the same people Multiple charges Yeah, yes, yes, yes Multiple, yeah, yeah Yeah It's just an added charge You may, hold on By the way, you should have referred to me I'm your Jew lawyers here We may be able to get you out of one Oh, okay, okay All right, step up, go with the white guy Oh, yeah, but I need you But I need you as my um Witness You're doing this Okay, yeah, that's what you are Oh, you might Oh, you might want to come with us You might want to come with us You might not want to step Is it character or witness? Yeah Uh, let's see What other charges Can we tackle on the body of Rory? Can we accept the charge? That's what she wrote She wrote the fund She wrote the funds By the awkward moments Ruining of the fund Yeah, yeah, yeah That's the biggest charge Yeah, you know what That's what I think And to say That's the biggest I think she may have been cock blocking Because her friends Were cock blocking her Ruining of the fund is another charge How many do we have now? That's three That's three That is, I can tack more on Peter I can tack more on If you have another one Quickly, then yes If not, if you have to keep thinking about it You're not prepared to argue it I don't think it's that serious of a charge To put anything else I think these three are good enough To get a You guys want to get a conviction No, we're going to get a conviction You know what's in mind with the charge We're going to get a conviction I'm cool with these three I'm cool No, no, no, Peter Peter, we have enough to convict No, we do All right, let's hear it Let's be clear on that Where do we begin? What do we, what do we uh Am I the person? Am I the person that is running this day? You guys are lawyers I can't release I mean, I can only give acquaintances Yeah, you're the plaintiff Yeah, um Let's uh, let's start Right when you get back to the house Everyone decided that we probably Didn't want to go out Rory, you're starting Get a Rory So we decided Actually, no, let's do No, no, Rory's not starting I'm starting I'm going to tell the story Yeah, yeah [cheers and applause] Hey, hey, hey So Having statements Okay Yeah, opening statements I'm opening statements I'm going to take this day Oh, I'm there Thanks, of course All right, so on Thursday Ebro, text me Marissa I need you to come to my party On Sunday night I'm hosting with enough I need you to bring your girl I need you to bring No, no, no That's exactly what the fuck happened So I said, all right I checked group chat I group chat at everybody I'm like, yo, we have to go to house On Sunday night My boss is asking me to come out He doesn't really ask me to go out To shit, I kind of want to show face I think that's a good suggestion They're like, all right, cool That's the fucking plan So fast forward We go to the same exact actual club On Saturday night, we were making jokes Ha ha, we're gonna be here tomorrow Night Blah, blah, blah, blah I got fucking wasted And then I got about three hours of sleep Before I kickball So we go to kickball I don't play shit I sit around, whatever But I had a good fucking time When we had a good time with Bay And we had a good time with Bay I had Jake Nope, I had fun Hold on, open your statement Yes Uh, we're all playing every part of your body Go ahead How's this relevant? Because I am telling the fucking That story That's an opening statement This is part of the story Yes, color point was back I don't give a shit I'm telling them all about the story So we're going to play kickball Then we get back to the crib We all go to Joey's house to chill And then the rest of the people That we had come with We all decided we weren't going to drink Because we were fucking exhausted Tired I had cramps It was just Whatever So I'm relaxing chilling So we're just Stiting amongst ourselves Are we still going to go to house later And one person was like Yeah, ask them where to go I'm like Alright, cool Then I found another person was hosting I got more excited But I'm like I definitely want to go It's going to be cool She's like Ah, I'm definitely with you I'm like Alright, bet Don't get too fucking drunk Because you're already drinking And you need to pace yourself It's about six o'clock p.m And you're going to fucking waste Get wasted And she was like No, no, no, no I got this, I promise I got this Then she's sitting in with Emani And she was like Oh my god, let's take shots I'm like No, do not take shots Because this is going to make you fucking worse Pace yourself No more so I got this I got this Alright, cool So we get to the deck A little bit later She's still drinking And drinking and drinking Then she switches to Patron And I'm like Oh, this is going very badly This is not going to end This is going wonderful One more day While she's grinding up on E And I'm like No, no, no Turn the fuck up Hold on, we're getting to the meat of the story, right? Yeah, okay You're saying no, no, no This is her side This is her opening statement And this, we've already discussed him before And we've all agreed Collectively that that's not going to happen That's not going to be a thing Me? Yes So I'm dead What would that do? Hey, she's allowed her opening argument Perversion Yep And by this point now I'm already fucking exhausted I don't even want to go to the party anymore But I don't want that to happen Which is what would happen If I left that person alone And I also want to fucking go home And that person drove So I'm trying to get the fuck out of there And a couple other people that we were with Wanted to stay I'm like, cool Fucking stay, I don't really give a shit I just need you to car And she was like Oh, I'm going to be by my medics And then she kept grinding on E And I'm like, go get up Let's go She's like, hang on, hang on, come And finally I get her up And then a couple other people That we were with come with us too We all congregate in the hallway We all turn to her And we all collectively agree You are not doing this She's like, I'm not doing anything I'm just dancing with him I could dance like you guys too And we're all like, no Don't fucking do it She's like, I'm not going to do anything I swear to God Then we decided that I needed to take an Uber Because she can't fucking drive And I'm not going to the club anyway And she can't drive herself back So I call myself an Uber And I go home And then she calls me in the morning And she's like, okay Please have it out with me I know I fucked up Please like, just say whatever Like, I'm like, I can't hold a grudge I mean, you got too drunk I told you not to And that's it This is going to be tough for you This is going to be very easy It's already tough for me to win I mean, I'm just going to get a story right now I got to tell you right now You might get a guilty verdict just from that verdict That verdict is still Sometimes guilty verdict No, I'm sure Am I now allowed to give it up? No, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no And, um, no, that was good That was good Hold on, so an important question for me as a lawyer If I'm going to do this I got to know this information Did things happen? We can get to that Okay, we're going to get to that Yeah, so am I even going to tell your version now? Yes, all right Okay, um, judge jury I like to just say that, um, From the very start of the day Um, I had made it very clear That I was aiming for this person Very clear Was established You asked, the judge, the son was out To everyone Before anyone was drunk Before the first pitch Before the first pitch was thrown I said Not just to Mottie But I said it to her I'm on your ass I'm on the onion for you, baby And I'm coming So we start there No pun We start there As the day progresses Because men, we have these ways Of tracking to see Where we can go with someone And where we can't go I started to sense that There was a little more rhythm Being given as the day progressed As sensitive as sensitive to If I didn't sense that I would have backed off But I didn't So I continue Like a real nigga Yeah All right Enough athletes Now we'll say this I will say this At some point in the day I got extremely drunk And I don't remember I did a bunch of shit At the house That I kind of Was a blur I was over Yeah It's not a blur for me So But as the night wound down We ate and stuff And I was totally clear I had a clear mind and everything And I had stopped pursuing I literally stopped pursuing I didn't make an advance I didn't request any type of nothing She What a gentleman Well not gentlemen I stopped because I knew she was drunk And for the record And I said that And let me interrupt the day Let me interrupt his story Really quickly Because I think some women Have a misconception That men enjoy When the woman is Pissy-Pissy-Pissy-Pissy-Pissy Drunk and can't talk And can't move And can't walk and get over That's not enjoyable For a man Actually To some men adults I would like to think That my client Amani has included It's actually very unattractive When you can't maintain Your alcohol This girl was very much coherent This bitch was drunk Off her fucking ass She was drunk No, no, no She was drunk But she wasn't- There was levels She wasn't falling over Yeah She wasn't slurring in speed She was very- Hey, you were on FaceTime Whoa, whoa, whoa We didn't interrupt No, no, no, no, no Hold on, let him finish his story I didn't call it a second witness after this Joel, let him on and tell the story himself Yeah, yeah Let me get so- You're probably too much All right, so- Cora, you gotta get a hold of this courtroom, man Yeah, all right Amani, continue Start her in the corner So as the night winds down And I'm seeing that they're about to leave I left it alone I went Remove myself I removed myself 'Cause I first went with dancing together I removed myself, sat down And began to play Uno She came to me Sat on me And started grinding I also made a point of saying out loud Because I sensed what Amani was getting And I wasn't even mad at that I just wanted her to know that I'm not that much of a dirt bag To take advantage of us Out of her mind drunk girl So that wasn't you have- Be aware of you All right But- They were having fun I wanted to show that I wasn't concerned about that I don't think that They were having fun, though Yeah, I was the thing, all right They were having fun So they wanted to stay and continue to have fun there Not just the drunk girl But the other girl Who wasn't drunk Okay So we took it as I They don't want to go to the club That's how I took it Had no plans on doing anything with the girl But they both- For the record They both said verbatim Right We don't want to go We're my risk I said at that point It wasn't even about that I wanted to go home We're just giving our version We're refuting some things So- Because you said it's six o'clock That was a plan or whatever Both of them said- And it wasn't a plan- I did not want to go Where she is going The sober girl said Deal me in I am playing Uno Did- Uh- Someone who shall remain anonymous said How do you play? Teach me I want to learn This is now a group function happening Can we later on deal With why she doesn't know to play Uno? Okay Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah A couple of people did- Now that- Well, we have to pay the same Before Mottie finishes At this point at this juncture Marissa Mottie the body Is standing- She's the lone person Standing up by the door Saying- Ready to fucking go Saying- Let's give the- Anonymous girl on the- Stacy- Uh- Stacy- Uh- Stacy- Let's go No say no- Stacy- Don't say Stacy- I don't know- Stacy- Stacy- Of course you fucking- Stacy- Stacy- Stacy is- Is clearly to everyone with eyes Ignoring Mottie the body So much so- No, she's answering She's giving me five minutes Five minutes and then grinding more So so- So much so that I- That I interject And say- You're cock blocking And then I said- Well then we got- Well then we got- I don't give a fuck yes I am I know you did- That is not happening She- She- [Laughter] - I don't give a fucking real ass reason. I don't give a fucking real ass. - No. - I popped back in for a fucking real ass reason. I don't give a fucking, I don't give a fucking. - That's the problem. - I want everybody to fucking get theirs. Not those two, no one. - Okay, that's a separate episode. - Yeah, we don't have time for that. - We don't have time for that. - I do. - Listen, listen. - You don't have time for that. - Listen, listen. - I've been really cool. - None of that matters. Monty the body was being blatantly ignored. So after I let Monty know that she was cock-blocking and after she let me know that she didn't care and once they ignored and continued for a little bit, I suggested to Monty the body, hey. - Take an Uber. - Why don't you just Uber yourself wherever you have to go? - Which I also didn't wanna fucking do 'cause I was pissed off at the fact that I told this bitch don't drink and now I'm stuck taking a goddamn Uber on Memorial night when it was two times the surge price because it was the night before Memorial Day. - So she would much rather her friend drive drunk wherever she had to go. - No, I wanted to fucking drive. - But how would she get back? - Well, I didn't care. Take an Uber. - Mm, we didn't care. I'm continuing. - 'Cause I wasn't the one that made up for this session. - Let me, I'm gonna end my statement very quickly. - Oh, no. - Let me, no, no, no, no. - If I got more. - No. - Let's just say this actually took place of the girl doing something. - What do you mean? - Well, let's just say me and the girl did something. - Okay. - On the drunken night, right? And it's like, ah, you wake up the next day. Damn, I shouldn't have did that. That's fucked up. - How real is that statement if you do it again on a sober night? - And again. - And again. - And again. - I never said she didn't wanna do it. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no. - The statement that you said was the person text you. - No, I didn't. - The text you the next day will call you and said, yo, you were right there. - Yeah, I fucked up. - I fucked up. - No, let's go before that. She also said prior to any of this, the three of them had a conversation about you and they all agreed that that wasn't it. - Yes. That doesn't mean she didn't. Well, obviously, I said she expressed interest from the fucking beginning and we told her no. - Why, what, what. Separate, I'm such a nerd. (laughing) I wanna feed that out to you. - All right, all right. - Well, yeah, I'm gonna end my opening statement with, if it was that much of a fuck up to continuously do it to me doesn't really stand out as a fuck. - Stacy was plastered all over this guy. - She was drunk yesterday too, by the way. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I would allow you to say that if you were there, 'cause then you would be able to see, but if anyone who was there could see that this girl wasn't, she woke up plastered. I got on, there were, there were many times where she was not as incoherent and drunk and twisted that the behavior was consistent. - Yeah, no, I don't put, I never said she didn't want to. The point was we were trying to save her from doing that shit. That was the point. That's why I'm trying to remove her from the fucking situation. Yes, you wanna know why? 'Cause she already fucked with somebody in the crew and I'm not letting that shit 'cause she complains to me all the fucking time about not wanting to have casual sex anymore. She stressed out about just the decisions that she'd been fucking making and I'm not dealing with that shit when she sober and regretting what the fuck she did and when he manny's over here fucking every other bitch because he manny likes fucking all that shit. (crowd talking over each other) - So fucked that, I won't let my friends make decisions as shit, but that's not a decision because I don't even know anything. I thought that you fucked one of my dumbass home, like party friends, fuck all my party friends. I don't give a shit, I'll bring 'em to you by the draws, not that. - Can you get control of your client? - All right, yeah, yeah, this is why. - Fuck! - This is where you're in in here. - Yeah, talk to your client. - Yeah, please, whisper in the head. - All right, this is some weird kind of stuff. - There's definitely some law and order shit. - We have to, we have to play out of play out of this, however we can. (laughing) So, you gotta get on those. And then I think you have to try to set up a deal. You could bring up your own, I think you have another case you could make today. - Okay. - I recommend and represent you on. - Okay. - But this, you have to plead guilty to this. - Okay. - This is talk, like, the high and sore day. Whatever the punishment is. - But I need someone to, like, film me though. Like, Steph as a girl, if you have a best friend. - Oh, that's a separate argument. You're explaining why you were being a good friend. No one qua... There was no charge of you're not being a good girlfriend. It was about being a bad homie to your guy friends. - Okay, that was the vagina one though. There was the vagina one. - Yeah, you were protecting your friend's vagina. That was the charge, and you're also guilty of that. - First of all, so that's premeditated caught blood. - Yeah, premeditated caught blood, 'cause you had the conversation. - That's premeditated. - That's premeditated. - That's premeditated. - That's another court, just gonna be federal. (laughing) - Yeah. - plead guilty, man. - This is first degree, man. All these shit. See, we're open to make a deal. - Okay. - I don't know about that, I don't know about that. - I mean, I got an offer. - Okay. - I need three more friends. - Yeah. - I got you. I got tons of whole friends, that's fine. It was just the one that I actually care about. I wasn't trying to deal with that. - We're not, we'll see, but this is the thing. Because the assumption that I'm just fucking everybody in a mama is kind of bad. While we can joke around and stuff, I'm not fucking everybody in a mama. And I will say this, the people who I do have these casual instances with, there's no issues. No beef, I'm not one of those guys with this woman would have to walk around worrying about the respect level or anything like that. - There's also me knowing her and how she gets open, and how she calls for what. And also, I can appreciate that. But then, as a friend with me, you can come say to me, E, chill, this is not that one. We could have had that conversation beforehand. And then I would have, out of respect for Madi and her friends, I'd say, yo, you got that. - Yeah, you looked crazy. - 'Cause no matter what, I wasn't going to take advantage of someone who was that close. - That wasn't, oh, well, I wasn't worried about the advantage drunk, 'cause she wanted to do it too. It wasn't that, I'm trying to save her from that shit. I'm just worried about, in those situations, because those are your closer friends, I get it. But you should still, as a friend to me, be able to say, yo, fam, you my nigga, like, no. - You mentioned her before to me, and I said, no, E. - I remember that. - You would like, oh, she got it. - And I don't take those, no serious. - No, I said no. - She needed more shit. - But you know what's wild about shit like that? Like, you could have had whatever reasoning, cool, all of that's great. But I feel, and this is me. I know my thinking is a bit warped from time to time. In my perspective, it's probably a unique one. I feel like when a girl has a friend and a guy friend, and you know the guy is not someone who is just looking to fucking be a fucking mud and fucking take advantage of a girl and just like a guy that is kind of sound morally. - I shit, why not throw the pussy up by the rim? - No, I don't know what you'd like that. All I know is I've seen some crazy bitches come and go that he's dealt with. That's all I know. - Who hasn't had crazy bitches come and go? - But that's all I know of you. We're cool, but we're not cool enough that I know what you do. - No, no, no, no, no, no. Right, which is why there would never be a need to have the conversation about E pride of that, 'cause you don't know anything. You're assuming. And all the girls that I've brought around have been girlfriends. So you've seen E.B. in a relationship. - And Cheat. - And I had a very honest conversation with them then that I'm a cheater. - Don't believe in monogamy. - We had the conversation before I even put on to Homegirl. So she clearly knew what she would get herself into. I did it with someone like me. - But she'll still get open and she'll still get crazy. I still wonder why. And then I have to deal with that in the aftermath. I have to deal with what she's calling me crying. - It's very self-centered, it's very self-centered. - It's not self-centered, it's very self-absorbed. - She wants, doesn't want to do that. And she knows she makes poor decisions. I make poor decisions too, a lot of times. And I would love for my friends to prevent me from making some poor decisions that I've made 'cause I've made some really regrettable words. - Let me help you out here with a life lesson 'cause to me you sound like a retard right now. - No, I don't think I sound like a wet dog. - I'm clear that you don't think that, which is why I'm saying what I'm saying. Because you don't think that. Like it's important for people to be kind of aware when they sound retarded. You can't stop people from being themselves. It sounds like you have an issue with powerlessness. That's what it sounds like to me. You're powerless over what someone decides to do. - That's how it's not gonna do with shit. - It was just that I didn't want her to fucking make that decision. They're gonna do a powerlessness. What are you talking about? I didn't want her to make a poor decision that she was gonna regret it. - Do you know what the word powerless means? - That I had no, I couldn't control her. I'm not fucking stressed out about it. - So how does that word not have anything to do with shit? - Well, why are you acting like I have an issue with it? I wanted her not to make a bad decision. She made it fucking. What am I gonna do now? - But why is it a bad decision? - I just explained why it's a bad decision. - No, but no, no, no, no, no, not for sure. You're assuming that it's a bad decision. - No, I don't want her dealing with someone that doesn't want monogamy and her more have more casual sex that she keeps telling me every fucking day. She doesn't want to have more casual sex. And then she gets drunk and does dumb shit. - I think that's reasonable. It doesn't change the charges being accurate. I think we're now going in circles because I don't think Marissa's, what she's saying is not a unique concept to what girlfriends try to do for each other. It's just men don't, we don't even relate to this concept of doing that. There's a disconnect here. But I do think this is a common thing. - I could delve much deeper into women and their friendships because, okay, girl, you know, you shouldn't fuck that nigga. I ain't girl, you know he ain't shit. - I think, I can, in this situation, if you're adding on the drunk part, I can respect the move. I would have liked to at least been spoken to about what the move was and why it was being made. - Really? - And that in respect, I can be like, Marty ain't coming from the bullshit. - She just-- - Right, I'm not hating. I've ever fucked around like a jealous or something. - No, no, no, what I'm saying is, in that situation, I can understand why a woman would do that. Now, if this person isn't drunk, and if this person continues to do something, you gotta step aside. I get the friendship-- - Which is why I probably was never gonna do it. - That's my thing. So, you know, I get it and, you know, I just like three holes, that's it. I just like three holes as the-- - You say holes? - Holes, okay, sorry, three holes, okay. All right, I think we're willing to take those, take that plea. - Yeah, I'm cool. - Now, Marissa, you should bring up another charge today. - Oh shit. - You should bring up a charge. There's something I heard about earlier today. I'm gonna verbalize this for her and then I heard to it 'cause I think she's too-- - You should charge her. - She gotta be honest. From what I heard, I believe this charge is undeniable. Regardless of what is fixed or amended or have changed or said, I believe the charge of in Homie Court, my client, Marissa Mendes. Who's getting charge? - Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do, Mark. - All right, back in Homie Court, I would like to represent my client, Marissa Mendes, against an unnamed member of the Joe Budden podcast-- - Of the crew. - Of the crew. - Yes, yes. - The crew versus the squad. - The crew versus the squad is free. - Yeah, I'll take it. - And of course, me being a little bitch made dude that I am, I'm representing the squad. - Yeah, 'cause all the internet thinks you're a bitch. - I know, I know, come on. I'm defending Amber and now I'm defending Marissa Mendes. - Yeah, what a fag. - Here we go. This charge, first degree, felony charge of cornball tactics when trying to bone one of Mottie's friends. Yes, cornball tactics to the point that this is the kind of thing that when it happens, as a friend, you have to look down at the ground and go, I'm sorry that that even happened. - Bold. - Now you're embarrassing. Now you're embarrassing your homie, and that's why you find yourself in homie court. - First of Marissa? - No, what do you mean, first of all, you don't even know what the charge is yet? - You just told me. - I mean, you don't know what the story of the case is. - Well, listen, wow, wow. - I just know my crew is full of real ass niggas. - Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. - Listen, we have an advanced crew, and because my story pretty much came before this, I want to definitely exclude myself from this being possible, to being me. 'Cause I don't do cool and bullshit. - I mean, there is a bunch of people in this room, a bunch of people. - No, we all have to be suspects of money. - Oh, fuck. - All my bitches, no. (laughing) First of all, we just listen. You don't really know a real ass nigga like me, but we all want suspects here. - All right, fine. - I'll be successful, I love it, this one. - All right, so first of all, they were told they were going to get something to eat. They end up at a script. - Wait, wait, wait, time, time, time. Who's there? Your friend. - Of course, nothing. - No, no, no, no, no, no. I just mean, they is Mottie's, Mottie's a Mottie's friend. - Yeah, squad, go back to the house. Crew members trying it, trying it. - Wait, hold on, hold on. - This case is not-- - Can I have denied that some, you can't say that there was no interest or anything like that. - I'm sure there was. - Don't try to argue right, so I'm saying-- - Oh, wait, we gotta care. (laughing) - Shut this down. - Hold on, I wanna add a little bit, and I'm friends with the squad and the crew. Let me, you know, preface with that. But we can't forget the night before where we were playing a game of the most dangerous, you know. - Oh, I don't know, that's my defense. - Oh, yeah, sure, you tell me about that. - That's our defense, Steph. - But I'm not gonna tell you everything that happened. - That's not what this is about, what this is about is the line that he used while they were in the bedroom. He said, "You are so smooth and symmetrical." - I just always-- - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. - What if she was smooth and symmetrical? - What the fuck is smooth and symmetrical? - No, if she was smooth and symmetrical. - You're symmetrical, who, who's in the way? - Joe, Joe, you have to-- - You have to add some magic. - Joe, Joe, everyone listening right now knows, you are a respected pussy magnate. And we respect you, but do not try to defend the line. You are so smooth and symmetrical. - I'm asking a valid question. Listen, no, bro. - It's smooth and symmetrical. - I'm not wasting-- - I'm not wasting. - Guilty, well, no, guilty. - No, guilty. - No, no, no, we are gopins. - That's his. - I don't know. - Joe, we got some things you just got to let happen. - I still want to clean down right now. - I still want to ask the question. - Okay, okay. - Any of it that the young lady in question is, in fact, smooth and symmetrical. - I didn't even mean, like, "How did I try to be symmetrical? "What does that mean?" - I don't even think of those big words in bed. - It means something. Okay, listen, the fact of the matter is, human beauty is-- You guys should be using this in your argument. - It's pretty symmetrical. - Human beauty is often defined by symmetricalness. People who are symmetric, people who have symmetry and are very symmetrical from one side of their face to the other, are often the most beautiful people. However, the idea of using that line when trying to get in the draws is a crazy thing. - We might think it's hard. - And that's why he did not get to taste it that he wanted to eat it. - But you know what, I want to taste you if he did not taste it. - But that's the part that I can argue. - Any event that said crew member said, "You are so smooth "and symmetrical." (laughing) What if he said that after said squad member was already in the bag? - She is, well, she's in the bag, but she-- - I'm not in the bag, in the bag. - In the bag, in the bag. - Oh. - In the bag. - That means that she might really be more symmetrical. - Yeah, but at the same time-- - I'm not using the line to get played. - Right, but at the same time, it's possible-- - And that was the charge. - But it's possible that that line is the reason it didn't happen. - Yeah, he didn't get to taste it, or fuck. - It made the girls stop enough to then repeat-- If a girl has to repeat a line to her girlfriend, verbatim, 'cause it was bad-- - That's not fair. Girls repeat a bunch of bullshit to their friends. - Well, hold on. - And some of it's not always true. - Do you know if we showed at that line, stop the word? Was that actually said, though? - Yeah. - Uh-huh, I'm positive it was said, 'cause there's no way they're-- - Were you there? Were you there? - Were you there? - Were you there? - No, no, no. I can't say you positive. - Were you there? - Yeah. - We can't say you positive. - Were you there? - We're just here. - Positive, but what's your friend making a mistake? - Yeah, she still made a mistake. - No, man, man, mistakes. - No, man, man, mistakes. - No, man, man, mistakes. - She made man mistakes. - And enjoy it every one and one. - I'm just saying, like, women tell each other, well, no, but women tell each other, ain't always what happened. - Of course. - They like to make themselves look better than what they actually were at the moment. - So how can you charge a real good crew member on hearsay? - That squad member knew where the fuck she was going. - That's fine. - Before leaving that-- - And knew what she was-- - So to portray it, so to portray it. And I also saw this squad member pursuing hard body. - But she stood in fucks with the end of the day who really-- - No, that's not the charge. - That's not the charge. - That's not the charge that she fought. - I think we're all getting on, if we're not focusing on the charges, the charge is simply cornball tactics. We're not asking, we're not trying to get the-- - No, the tactic. - No, the tactic. - The tactic is a plausible line. - The tactic implied that you're using it-- - The tactic wanted to seal the deal. He wanted to eat it and he wanted to hit it. He got neither one of those deals. - No, the deal was sealed. - Did that come out of his mouth? Did he say that he wanted to fuck? - Yeah, he said I wanted to taste. He didn't get to taste either. - You just said he wanted to fuck. - He wanted to taste and fuck. Obviously, that's the end game. - What, no? I mean, that is generally the end game, but the bottom line is this. The bottom line is this. The cornball tactic in question here is using the line, "You are so smooth and symmetrical." - Which, by the way, is a hashtag that is on foot as we speak. - It's trending. - It's trending worldwide as we speak. We're not trying to go for as high charge as you guys got a conviction in Marissa. We're not saying that. This is the-- - I have another question. - I have another question. - I have another question. - I have another question. - That's quite a way. The timing comes into play. If it's in the heat of the moment-- - No, you can never say you're smooth and symmetrical. It's never cool. - Yeah, if I'm sitting across from you-- - Thank you. - --if I flow to Mayo, I can say-- - Move forward to Mayo. - I can say, "Yo, I ain't gonna lie." - You're very smooth and symmetrical today. - Really smooth and symmetrical. - Honestly, if you separated it even, it could live. If you're with a woman-- - No. - --and you're like, "You say you're so smooth." "Oh, someone could pull that off." Or if you're not even having a sexual conversation, but you're like, "Yo, seriously, you are gorgeous. You're a perfectly symmetrical face." - Yeah. - It's still corny, but the combination in the sexual context, Joe, is not something that Joe Button would ever say. - I would never say that. - Oh, so you wouldn't ever say that? - I might say it. - So you might say-- [laughter] - Listen, depending on where we are, I might tell a bit. - That word should never be used in a barrel. - I don't think I've ever said that word in a barrel. - I'm not gonna use that word in life, yeah. - I'll tell you the word symmetrical. - No, I know it. I don't use it. - You know what any word more than dreams of-- - Oh. - --the powerlessness, what'd that even have to do with this? You know, symmetrical, what the fuck is a-- - That place you could have been a jace. [laughter] - Well-- - That's a wild church. - I think whoever did do that is guilty. - We'll take a plea. - All right, did it play? - Yeah. - Well, there's no proof that it was actually said. So you really can't do that. - It's interesting. - That's also-- - Yeah. - It's also something that is here, so-- - Yeah, I need to hear it from the witness word. - Sounds wonderful, though. - I need to hear it. - It's because it sounds like it happened. [laughter] - I need to hear it from the witness, man. Smooth and symmetrical. I still think that if a bitch is smooth and symmetrical, I mean, it could be corny, but let's not act like the right amount of corny hasn't got niggas laid before. - That's true. - They don't work this time. - I'm not-- I'm not rolling with that. But I mean, I get it, but I just-- - You're right for it. - I can't say that word with my dick heart. - All right, so now-- [laughter] Next subject, I guess? - Oh, we get into some emails, I guess. - Okay. - All right. - Marty's so happy we're changing the subject. - I know, right. I mean, that wasn't my problem, that one. - All right. This is from Steve. He wants to ask about Instagram. - Oh, come on, Steve. - I have a question for the fellas on the podcast, Joe Rory, and I guess Rosenberg if he is there. - Well, Rosenberg is never here at number one. And I feel like he has this sensor that goes off that lets him know when I've just about had enough. - And then he shows up. - Because then he pops up. Like, he's here today. That's interesting. - Yeah. - But anyway. - Okay, how do the women you are in relationship with deal with you following other beautiful women on social media? I have had more arguments about this topic with the woman that I care for to recount. This makes no logical sense. - We'll just make it make some. - Yeah. I sometimes follow porn stars and other IG models and women that she absolutely hates. She gives me a lot of grief about it. This one girl in particular, the real Jay Kylie. I'm not affiliated with her. And you don't have to read her IG, but I wanted you to see her page for context. - I follow her. - Anytime I feel like she posts a picture or follow any of other pages that she's associated with, she bugs out on me and complains that I cannot love or be attracted to her if I'm consistently looking at other women. She calls me obsessed for liking her pictures. And I got it so bad that I had to block her from my IG page. How do you block a bitch that don't even follow you? - Bag it. - No, I think he, I didn't know. - I think you're in a bag. - Did he block Bay or did he block the real Kylie G? - He had to block the real Kylie. - I thought he blocked Bay. - Oh yeah, maybe he did block Bay, but my apologies. - I got it so bad that I had to block her Bay. - Yeah, I've heard of that before, yeah. - All right, my lady is very beautiful, but she seems very insecure. - But she's not real Kylie G. - I do follow a good deal of beautiful women on IG, so she gets frustrated. But I tell her my page, it's my page. I can do whatever I want. - I want to actually jump in, because this is the same thing about this weekend. Remember when I said that's what the old Bay did, and that's why I'm not, I'm done with it? It's like, we're cool with, you know, follow some big bootyhose. We follow some too, probably, we like to look at it, but when it's like an excessive amount, and he seems to be trying to say like, yeah, it's a lot, but no, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. It's not fine when it's an excessive amount. Then it becomes thirsty, and now we're looking at you, like fam, why are you so fucking thirsty, it's disgusting. - I think it also depends on if they are attainable. Like for me, follow all the Rihannas and the Beyonce. - Exactly, yeah. - Yeah, because now if you fall in a bitch from down the street, that twirls sometimes. - That twirls sometimes. - And then we have issues. So it depends on how attainable these hoes are. - And again, like I said, like the amount too, like when it should become such an excessive amount, it's kind of eyebrow raising, like why are you-- - What's excessive though? - I'm talking like hundreds of just big booty bitches. Like the one, the dude that I just cut off, like he wasn't even mixing in men with that. Like his boys, nothing. - All right, let me ask you a question. If this same guy buys a bunch of playboys or buys a bunch of magazines that have nothing but these women in this, is that wrong? Is that excessive? - No, 'cause he's reading it, but like-- - He's not reading shit in the magazine. - Well, I mean looking, yeah, yeah, so what I meant. But in my instance, he was like following and unfollowing and then re-following to try to get them to follow back, liking pictures 18 weeks ago for like some attention-- - I can see how that comes into play a little bit. - A little concerning, you know what I mean? - I don't think that's what Steve's doing here though. - I think-- - He's not really, he may not want to explain so much either. Like, I'm liking and that's why she's getting frustrated. I mean, he might make comments. - Why does he have to like to pick? Just scroll past it. - Yeah, that's another thing. Especially for a woman that she has a lot of followers on. - I was about to say, yeah, she has a few followers. - She's not looking at his like-- - She's got a fat ass, she's got some tits, like skin stripper girl, that's an attention whore, I follow her. - With all that said, I follow her. (laughing) - I don't think there's anything wrong with looking at any-- - Right, yeah, love, like magazine. - Instagram is like-- - But as a man, you have to know that women are habitual lurkers. That is what they do. Instagram has that, what tab is it, activity tab. - Activity tab. - That pretty much lets you know any time anything is taking place. I don't leave a comment on any picture. If I do, it's a friend of mine, it's a joke. And I don't like any picture. Like, I can follow you and see a picture. I don't have to like a picture at all. I don't even understand why people like pictures. I don't get it. Like, I don't get it. - If you're not a friend, yeah, you're-- - Yeah, like sometimes if it's a friend, like you know her daughter, I want you to know I like your picture. - Yeah, bitch got 40,000 likes. - Right, so when you're a little man like gonna make a difference and at the end of the day, especially to have noticed guys sometimes they'll start like in bitches pics, but they won't like their own girls pics, like nah, see you every day. So then it starts becoming a thing too like-- - Like you live with your girl, I'm assuming, or even if you don't, you live with your girl. - Yeah, you're with her very own. - Don't jeopardize your relationship for the Kylie Jenner girl now, or whatever, not Kylie Jenner, I'm sorry. The Kylie J girl, whatever her name is now. If you wanna be like me and think that this is a sign or a red flag into something that's not gonna go away and something much deeper, which is your girl being insecure, believer. - Yeah, but I think that too is a fine, like I definitely agree with you too. But there's also a fine line, like when you're doing excessive shit, and then you just wanna be like defiant, like you can't tell me what to do. You're a psycho because you're mad that I'm following a lot of people. Like no, she's having a legitimate concern, and then the guy is just being fucking selfish and not wanting to understand the other side of the fence. - And I totally disagree with Steph's, Steph's, I don't have a problem with it if they're not attainable. I feel like everybody's attainable. - But you're Joe Biden. - I had this conversation with Tahiri in 2005 where we were watching a playoff game. Whenever they won that shit, we were watching a playoff game. Now Tahiri had a big problem with me lusting over big booty bitches in real life, like seeing them. So, oh, when Dwayne Wade used to play, oh my God, whoa, it's so fine the things I would do to hell. She used to have a fucking, oh she used to go crazy. Now he used to be like, how come that's okay for you to do that? But I can't lust over my bitches. And she would say shit like, I'm never gonna beat him. That's totally not true to me. I don't think that Rihanna or Beyonce have only ever fucked super rich, famous people. I think there are plenty of regular people that are having sex with these people that people think are not attainable. These people are very much attainable and accessible, just in a certain circle. I don't think Rihanna's fucking gonna be at the fucking brownstone on River Road. But maybe she will. And paparazzi would be there, and somebody's here and somebody might bag her. - And when we're saying, and it's attainable, we are speaking from a point, a standpoint where it's everyday attainable. Not just that one random time you're at the club, Rihanna's at the club. That change is happening. - That's what this is. - We're talking about everyday attainable. - Like he can go down the street to the corner store and if it's there or it's the club. - With social media, everybody is everyday attainable. - He is making the world this moment. - My mom couldn't DM Prince back in the day. Like these people are attainable. - And you also have to take a look at it. When I say also attainable, it does have a lot to do with it. And I don't know how Steve looks, but it has all it also has a lot to do with your looks. You can be, Rihanna may not mess with only wealthy guys, but they're definitely gonna be fine. And that's for sure. So, you know. - We might be fine. - I guess what I'm saying. I'm just speaking from the attainability. - Every ona might be having a fucking, let me answer fans day or some shit. Orgie might be doing a fucking-- - And she sees some mediocre guy. And she's like, you know what? - No, I'm acting under the pretense that, that, see let me tell you something about these celebrities, right? These celebrity women that are already very much established and independent, they don't need very much from a nigga. Like if you come with some great a dick. - Some good personality. Yeah, they might be-- - Tell a joke here and here. - Yeah. - And you're pretty much good. Like she ain't relying on you for very much. She's playing a fucking role. - Yeah, can't do no for money while it's-- - That's true. - All right, so do we have more emails? - Well, all the more reason for his girl to be fucking upset then. - I wanna know how the girl looks, 'cause if the girl looks like pure shit then-- - Hey Steve, send in a pic of your girl. - Yeah, let us know Steve. Do we got nothing else? - Yeah, thought phase is the subject. - I love these, they're fine. - Last week you brought up how every woman has a thought phase. - Is this a girl? - No, it's a guy. - Okay. - But my question is, how do you know when they're clearly done with that thought phase? There's this girl who has been with her man for a long time, but has always tried to get with me blatantly. I deny it because of her relationship status. And because I know in the long run they won't last, I can wait. However, should I only fuck with her during the thought phase afterwards, or are there signs that I should be aware of in case she's truly done with that phase? Thanks. - Bro, you got a long way to go, man. He's this guy. - Wait, when did she start the thought phase? Did he say? - He didn't say. - But obviously if she's trying to fuck you. - Yeah, if she's trying to fuck you in a relationship, she's probably on her way to another thought phase. - Wait, she's in the relationship. - And why would you want to be with a girl that clearly is gonna cheat? - She's in a relationship. - Oh yeah, she's in her thought phase currently. But I find it strange when females are in that phase while in a relationship. - Yeah, they can't be a thing. I always thought that you went through your thought phase when you were a breakup. So she was just, this is not a phase for her. - Yeah, that's just life. - She's her thought. - That's her lifestyle. - Right. - She's a hoe. - Yeah. - That's just what that is. - You can't go through a thought phase and have a man. - You can't be happily in a relationship thing. - Yeah, you just can't be a... - She just can't be a cheater. - She's a hoe. - She's a hoe. - That's not a hoe. - But why is she a hoe? - Because she can unfaithful. - You can be a hoe at spring break for drinking, then you can be a hoe for fucking a guy while you have a man at home. - Who believes that you're being phase told. - So cheating on your man makes you a hoe. - Yes. - And a man cheating on his girl also makes him a hoe. - I don't, I don't. - Wait, so let me ask you a question. This raises a very interesting question. Let's say that fucking, let me think of some names here. Let's say that Debra is dating Dan. - We some great names. - Let's say that Debra is dating Dan. - What do they always have? - Some of these names I might be able to remember. Let's say they both are in a relationship. Debra is faithful to Dan. - Okay. - They break up after a year. - Okay. - She goes and fucks 30 niggas. - Okay. - She's not a hoe? - No, she'd get out of her system. - That was a fat phase. That was the phase. - That was the phase. - She didn't expect anybody. - This is why women are weird. - This is the fat phase. That is what that is. - Especially she's keeping it wrong. - That was what she's done with that. - You fucking 30 niggas after your one year. - I mean it's a little excessive, but she went through her phase, and when she's done she's gonna be faithful to the next man. - That's not a phase. - That's a hoe. - Nope. - That's a phase. - That's the reason why this doesn't work. - No, that's a phase because when she's done with it, she's done with it, got it out of her system, and she's ready to be faithful and love someone. - If she was with a guy for however many years they were together and faithful, she's clearly not a bad girl. - That's a hoe. - She's not. It's a phase. She's getting it out of her system. - Experimenting, she's been trying things. - She's been stuck with this one guy for however many years. She's been faithful. - You went through, which is called the hoe phase, which makes her a hoe. - Yes, that's what we're saying. - No, a hoe phase. - She's in a relationship with the man, and she cheats one time. That makes her a hoe. No, that makes her a cheater. - She's not cheating. - She's not cheating one time. She's trying to establish a whole situation with this guy, a whole different situation. - A one time is a mistake. When you're trying to do it multiple times, there's no longer a mistake. She's a hoe. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, there's your answer, bud. - Okay. - I like that we're not shitting on the fans, like we usually do. - And the segment. - Well, I think these are legitimate questions that they're asking. - These are legit concerns. Do we have another one? - Yeah, I need some relationship advice from Mike. - All right, Mike. I don't like your name. - Really? - My mic is just like his parents, but no effort into it. - That's true. (laughing) - When he comes out, I don't want to do it. - Michael, I'll make this case later. (laughing) - I had a step right there, but it means the fans Joe isn't that far from Mike. - Biblical, Biblical, Biblical, Biblical. - Michael, isn't Michael in the Bible? - It's his name. - Murray is a very interesting one. - It's his name, St. Michael. - It's your St. Joseph. - What the? (laughing) - Was it St. Joseph? - Hey, where did it go? - No, it wasn't St. Joseph. - It wasn't. - And it's St. Michael in the Bible? (laughing) - Shit, that's a bit of a Bible. - Oh, shit. - I almost died. - No, there's a school called St. Michael. - I don't think the St. Michael is doing the Bible. - No, there's a St. Michael. - There's a St. Michael. - There's a St. Michael, but... - St. Michael was! (laughing) - No, I don't think any of the 12. - The St. Marissa? - The St. Michael. - No, there was a St. Michael's. - There was a St. somewhere. Like, why would they name all these schools and stuff St. Michael exists. - St. Michael. - Well, not every St. is in the Bible. - What? So, where are they? (laughing) - Well, who made up the St. Michael's? - Where are they? So, I can stop them getting busy. (laughing) - The Bible, and I'm sure I'm gonna get killed on Twitter if I do this incorrectly. The Bible is made up of the 12 disciples talking about Jesus. - What's your religion? - Catholic, which means I can do whatever I want as long as I apologize for it afterwards. (laughing) - All right, if anyone got a question. - Oh, yeah, all right. - St. Michael. - Yeah, which is not biblical Bible, right? (laughing) - That's not making me laugh. - Those last names are Ramirez, is that? (laughing) - No, it's definitely-- - It's even more generic. Damn, man, your parents gave no fucks. (laughing) - All right, Joe Roy Marissa. Won't catch me on this, but you have a platonic female friend, so I think you can help me. Me and my best friend have been friends for a very long time recently, within the last year, we started to realize that we like each other more than friends, and we are great together, and we get along perfect, and everything is good. I mean, Shorty's my best friend is expected, and the sex is fucking great, no pun. The issue though is right now, she doesn't have her shit together, which is cool. I have no issue being the breadwinner, but Shorty said she wants to get her shit together before she can commit to me. So she doesn't want the relationship aspect, but she says she doesn't care how unrealistic, selfish, or stupid it sounds. Shorty wants me to wait for her until she gets ready. My question is, do I wait, and if so, how long should I wait? If I wait, does that mean I have to get rid of my hose, or do I keep my hose? 'Cause technically, there is no relationship. - Oh, no. - You definitely keep the hose. - You definitely keep the hose. There's absolutely nothing wrong with what she's saying if I'm gonna get a shit together. - And I say fuck it, don't wait. Try to salvage the friendship. I've never been in a situation like this. I've just been hoeing around for the past five to six years. - Why do we want to be in a relationship with our best friend who we were already fucking that's gonna be there regardless and doesn't have her shit together anyway? - This is generic, Mike, we're talking about. Like, it's just a generic situation. - Mike, leave the best friend that you've already fucked that doesn't have her shit together. That's like the eight-balled by the corner pocket. You just kinda leave that there to use at your own discretion. - Mike sounds like he's in love, so. - Yeah, Mike, Mike, I can't condone your name. You're Mike, you kinda bugging out. - Yeah. - And then you're actually considering waiting for her. She's obviously fucking some other news, and she's trying to look out for you and tell you that without telling you that. - No, don't wait for me. - It's not you, it's me. - Yeah, yeah, if you have to tell the fuck she's saying, yeah, Mike, get it together and change your name, man. - And I want to know what, not having your shit together, what he means by that. - I mean, she's broke, and take a flying out, I'm going to Dubai. - To get in pistol. - All right, that's it for this segment. - All right, that's it for that. Do we have, it might be over for. Mighty the body, do you have one? - No. - Where do you have one? - I was thinking on the train. - So nobody has one. All right, well, that's over for that one. Well, I have one, well, I'll do it. I'll do a very loose one since nobody else has one. I think, I think of that. - I need to do my sports report. - Oh, we got you guys coming. - Okay. - I think that it might be over for any of you out there, anyone in here, I think it could be over for anyone that little B decides. See, but my sports report's going to disagree with that. Harding came due last night. - Your sports report is wrong. - No, Harding came due, that curse, he officially cursed him prior to last night. - Actually, well then Houston flooded. So then there's none. - So he might have cursed all of his. - And all the fans had to stay there. - Damn, son. - Anybody that little B curses my nigga? - Thank you, base God. - It might be over for you. Yeah, let's let that rock out real quick. - What is that? - If you were a fire, you'd use the chord next time. I was back around music during your, it might be over for you. - Oh, okay, it's really loud though. - It sounds really bad. - Next time you use the chord and do things the proper way. - Anyway, so. - I loved that song by the way. - Onto the sports report. Steph Curry, our prayers are with you, but he's fine. - He's good. - But he was a little disoriented during the last end of the game there. - What happened? - 'Cause he's gonna like that. (laughing) - I was just confident that Steph Curry was hard for him and then went here. - He hit his head and he got it. But they said, it wasn't concussion. They said like, "Contusion." - Contusion. - Contusion. - No, no, no, no. Let's not help her with the support report. That's why it's her sports report. - So he got a conclusion or something like that, but he was running sprints in the hallway practicing. So they let him back on, but he was practicing his homework. - Yeah, he was doing all that in the hallway. Then he came back, his little disoriented, but he made it. But he used to install one last night. So they're gonna go to game five now, but hopefully, I mean, the Warriors could take that home and then Cleveland plays tonight. If they win, it'll be a sweep. And then next Tuesday begins the line. - And tonight is the last night 'cause you guys will be here on this Wednesday. - Oh, sorry, yeah. So if last night they'll play, what? (laughing) If they play last night. (laughing) And if they win, they sweep. And then all in, Clee. To the finals, what's up, 2-1-6, we out here, let's go. I just said, what's go? It doesn't even make sense. Let's go. And that's my second part. - Yeah, there's not very many things that you say that makes too much sense. - But that doesn't make sense. I actually kind of understand now. And then if the finals do happen to be San Francisco versus Cleveland, it will begin in San Francisco because they have a higher something. - San Francisco. - Oakland, oh my God. - But aren't they the San Francisco? Well, whatever, you know, the Bay. - Holy shit. (laughing) - I was like, wait. - Oakland, there's this guy. All of those pieces. (laughing) - Shout out to California. - Shout out to the whole fucking west coast, bro. - Shout out to all y'all. (laughing) - That's awesome. - Shout out to the Bay, yummy. So anyway, they'll go there first because they have a higher something or other. And then it'll be two games there. And then it'll be one game in Cleveland. And then I don't know how it goes from there. But that's what's gonna happen. - Wait, two games in one game? - Wait, isn't it like Bay, Bay, Cleveland, Bay, Cleveland? - No, money. - So Bay, Bay, Cleveland, Cleveland, Bay, Cleveland, Bay. - Money just leave it alone. - I gotta write the second time. At some point, and just for the record, 'cause we're gonna get out of here. Joey, where are we at with time? - Well, of course we've got 81 minutes. - Yeah, but we're editing a lot of it. - Yeah, we'll say we've got 70 then. - So just for the record, and I just wanna have this documented for the next show. So you are Bayless. - Yup, I cut him off. deleted his number, deleted from the recent context, deleted from everything. He doesn't know that though. Well, I did, but then I did see a tweet on Saturday night where you were looking to get the number back. - No, that wasn't not that person, it was someone else. - Damn, they should-- - I deleted two numbers recently. - Ooh, get you the fuck out of here. - We're off in the streets, you deleted two numbers. - Yeah, Mike doesn't know the other person. Mike doesn't know Zombie. That's who I was tweeting that wouldn't give me the number. Well, he did give it to me the next day, but I text him for that person's number, not Old Bay. - So this, so Old Bay's run. - It was quick, it was about a month, and then I realized he's a fucking whore, so there went that. - So we'll never hear from Old Bay again. - Nope, I'm done with that. Why is she trial? - All right, all right, that's all I wanted to know. I really enjoyed it. I wanna thank all of you guys, Rory, Marissa, Steph, Amani, Drea. Drea, what was the point of you being in this room? - She was just with me. - She was with me. - You just here, just looking. Looking young, hearing mad explicit content that you shouldn't be hearing at your age, your knees are mad underdeveloped. - I need you. - Yeah, man. This is fucking girl. - What? - Look at nothing but her knee. Don't cover your knee. - Yeah, it is kind of, it's a very nice knee. I think it's a nice looking knee. - It's a nice pointy and nine-year-old. - It's kind of holy. - Yeah, go live life, go get a scratch on your fucking bruise or something, look at her skin. But thank you, Drea, for being in here as well. - I have no problems with your face. (laughing) - Listeners, thank you guys for listening. Joey, thanks for being the greatest podcast engineer out there. Tax, keep my name out of your fucking podcast. I want no parts of, what's this your call? - I'm not even promoin' you on my shit knee. I don't even know you should exist out there. - And that's it, and we're done. Rest of peace, change drugs, we're gone. - Peace. - Why do you always hate me? - Because I just fucking want the most of them. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - You're not getting the last word of pog, I hate you. - Do you know how many tweets that how much they enjoyed the end of the last podcast? Someone said they almost dropped a dumbbell or barbell, whatever you put those in the gym. They almost dropped one on their head because it was so funny. Cleveland, what up? - Good barbers. (laughing) - That's Oakland.