The Joe Budden Podcast
I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 6
If you've been with us since Episode 2 you may remember Joe painfully discussing his childhood crush not giving him the time of day in 6th grade. Well, as usual, Twitter found her; so we reached out and brought her onto the podcast as our first guest to discuss her role in Joe's path to relationship destruction! We'll just name Episode 6, "OLS -1". Subscribe on iTunes & comment below so Marisa can reply back to you in anger lol.
All right ladies and gentlemen Joe bud and Marissa go ahead. I'll name this podcast later something sounds a little bit funny with me Mike check Mike check do I sound as fucking you sound totally normal? I sound wonderful like I normally do you sound Totally wonderful. Mr. Wonderful action bronze now out now It is and I have to plug cuz he's fucking really cool with Paul in some type of business way On interscope though, is he no action Bronson is on Atlantic. I want to say I could be totally wrong there But he has something to do with Paul Got it. So I heard that slaughterhouse wanted to do something with him. That's what Twitter told me Somebody on Twitter said this I want to fuck up my political connect Fuck it just throw it out the window no, but shout out to action bronze and mr. Wonderful album and stores right now And I do appreciate the virtual cookbook That he is doing alongside the album as someone who is New to actually getting in the kitchen and oh you're starting to get into the kitchen I've been in the kitchen for close to a year now. Okay. It's my way of raising my husband profile I thought you were going somewhere else with that. Yeah, that's dope. I think I thought you were just stopping at raising my Husband, so I was just a little stopping at what stopping at raising my husband and then I was like, what are you talking about? Say, are you okay raising my husband? Yeah? Well, that's why I was like what the fuck is you? What are you talking about? Anyway, so I do like that record that he and chance the rapper have I think that's pretty good record baby blues joint Chance the rapper always get a good kick out of Every time I hear that name I go back to our Drake and trophies is that oh when he something about. I'm not chance. Yeah, you don't even know The exact bar the exact bar Joseph. I know everything about rap button the exact bar is fight a left to shoot the chance I'd have picked a name like chance the rapper No offense cuz I don't know that nigga, and then he did the very next bar he offense him. I Guess no chance cuz I don't know that nigga Focus on making records. I'm getting bigger now. He could chance could have taken that offensively, but our chance opened up Along with slaughterhouse for M at Wembley. Oh last year when M had a Easily over a hundred thousand people in there. That's got to be a great feeling chance those big ass shows Chance the rapper is really dope. You don't really know much about hip-hop. Do you? What do you tell why everything you say is just very like it's very yes? No, I just just do big ass shows He's a big festival rapper. They don't play him on the radio as much, but he's a big festival rapper He just eats us very good with touring. All right. Well, all right. Okay. That all of that's a touring rapper What did you hear say that somewhere? I said it myself no when me and Rory were on our fucking campaign crusade for Championing champs at chance the rapper chat when you guys were hating on another rapper that show remained anonymous because uh I'm not chatty patty. Yeah, shout out to my political. But anyway, so how shut the fuck up We did so I can already tell by Marissa's energy that this is gonna be like a weird Fucking podcast. No, not at all He said when I came in he's like you're gonna take it over and I I don't have any plans of that I just had something to talk about it It's like fucking five re-tweets of people that support her and then she comes in here. Oh, I've gotten the same tweets And then I have to come bring her back down to earth and then I come off like the bad guy because it seems like I'm being mean When I'm really not I'm really just helping a friend. Yeah, I never take your Comments as well because you just take it as Joseph. Well. Yeah, what the hell does that mean? But anyway, how was your weekend? Did you do anything fun? Um, nothing too crazy. I went to a week on Friday Oh, that's totally not where I was about to go, but okay. Yeah, but no it was interesting because my father I was going through his phone and he has like an album movie now picks up his daughter and I realized that my Pictures had synced to his phone one time when I brought his computer and he has like a kind of a nude of mine in there But he didn't say anything to me about it And it doesn't delete because it's like through some weird airdrop dropbox situation It's a pretty bad such and there's like pics of guys and like beds I never ill until you were looking like a hoe and yeah, but it was when I was in it was 2008 It's synced like the first 50 photos in my phone. So it's a little weird. Your voice sounds funny You need to get closer to the mic or something. How's this? Yeah, that's a lot better. Well, no anyway, listen I need to let the listeners know no one should ever want to see a Marissa Mendez new. No, my moves are poppin That's number one Unfortunately, I was privy to Yourself privy to it. No one told you to watch it. Please let the listeners know what I'm talking about before you just interrupt me that way Unfortunately one day back long time ago when Marissa used to work for me when she was the worst assistant I was marking for you. Oh wasn't nope. We were just out in edge water Do not disclose in my location. Actually, we were not your location. We were at someone else. Well, I'm there So it's disclosed in my location. Anyway, um, yeah, unfortunately, I was privy to This is definitely yeah, hey the engineer Joe. We has this shit sounding all fucking one Epstein I'm hearing clicks and shit. It's really our professional any left me outside for about 10 minutes But anyway off of that. I was privy to my Marissa Mendez sex tape right Look, let me give the back story before you go into whatever. Well, well before you do that Let me just let the people know this had to be Okay, it wasn't a sex tape. It was a quick like 30 second video, which is a tape I suppose but the thing was I hadn't had sex for six months because that was my first foray back into the world after a breakup So all right, so time out time out time. I look at all the look how you how fast I spot the whole shit So you were coming off of a breakup. Yeah, and you're first your first Wuhai into the sex world. Uh-huh. You decided to tape it. Yeah, well, this is I chose him as my Reclamation back into that world because he was who I was fucking before I got with my boyfriend Don't try to use words like reclamation. I'm still gonna think that all of this has whole written No, he was the guy that I was fucking with before I got with my ex and So that made me the most comfortable because I still wasn't ready to meet guys wait So you were cheating on your no, I never cheated on him. So when did you fuck home boy two years prior? Oh? You are such a liar I have never cheated on anyone in my life. Mottie. I don't know you've had one boy friend I had a high school in a college one in a post-college. It really counts for nothing It counts for every day was the worst ex tape I had ever seen in my life number one. It was all right number two. He liked it Why did I see this because I was watching it on my phone and you like oh my god? Let me see and you stole my phone locked yourself in a bathroom texted it to yourself. So you had it on your phone And then you kept fun of me about it. Yeah, let me just let y'all know out there I'm quick to snatch somebody's phone and run with it Locked himself in a bathroom. So wait a minute now. This just gets more interesting What you were coming off of a breakup and I didn't even plan on talking about this at all It's just kind of like freestyle it is. You were coming off a breakup. Yeah It didn't sound like it to me. Well, I was you don't even play me like I wasn't in your house crying every day like Into my up fam. I'm talking about the actual content of the table once. I mean, I'm not gonna Oh, yes, daddy. I think it was daddy. I didn't say that yes, daddy. Oh And then he was equally fucking whack Who's is this say my name? No, say my whole name and my middle name. Oh, who's the best dick? You ever got you zaddy like it was real like a how do you want to say I was filmed 25 And it fucking sounded like you were 25 years. It was nasty and I wanted to unhear it and unsee it Oh, but you still texted it to yourself It was like the exact opposite of any time I have taped myself Having sex, but well for the record he taped it not me. He just happened to text it to me. I don't even know he taped it That's really hoey no, you should be more aware of your surroundings when someone is inside of you Yeah, probably I mean I've learned how you didn't notice a phone with the flash You didn't have a flash. We were in broad daylight. No, it was bright in the room more reason that you should have noticed a man It was I know another thing that was wrong about it. No one should ever be behind you Look a lot of guys appreciate it Why is somebody behind Marissa? Oh, see now, I wish people could see Marissa, but anyway Pretty yeah, no, no, I didn't say you were not okay. Well, I'm sure I've said that before What I'm saying is You get I mean the the rear areas just very Hollywood Squarey. No my it's pretty square I have a but yeah, you know, no, it's not there and and What a good segue go Joe and what I notice about people who don't have asked cuz Marissa has like no I have no you don't you really really not and if you can the guy that dates to hearing shit like that's ass I can't compare to that. Can we do it that is ass, but can we do one show? We were not talking about I'm just saying look at your track record. You can't I'm a debate of mine into your history. I don't even know if I claim her, but all right people without ass, right? They are really bad judges of ass No, this is just Joe because I have a couple friends that have asked for days And he's like that's not an ass and it is like universally across the board accepted that they have a huge ass And Joe will still say they don't have ass You told me a friend had a really really huge ass. She does she did not she does then over the weekend I saw you tweet that somebody had a really nice ass and they did not she also does and I know you're talking I'm mutual friend yes, she does. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, she does not she does, but none of this is important I'm done talking to you in this lasted way to all Peters here. Oh, look a nice nice for you to show up. I Did I this is a first and maybe a laugh? I'm gonna try them in and say that Marissa does not have no ass. Thank you She paid perfectly good money to have some ass Well, no, well, that's the funny. Well, first of all Peter Marissa Marissa doesn't want anyone to know that she did that That's number one. So she didn't do it. She didn't do it. That's right. Uh, number two Marissa's the only person I know that did that even though she didn't do it and Your Joe standards are very tough. Thank you can show you no ass like that. That's not no ass Thank you everyone, you know, well, we're not talking about your your ass you bored or as you didn't buy you just wasted money Did you should get a refund? Oh my god? I just want to say that Marissa you can absolutely say that you never did it and people will believe you That's true So you didn't do it. No, no, you didn't do it. You're right. All right. Damn. I forget where it's gone But yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really bad judges of ass now Pete agrees with me. Thank you Pete but Off it at so I had a really interesting Weekend what did you do? I didn't really do anything but write music, right? That's good, but uh When you when you uh when you work your brain Constantly um like my brain gets tired. Mm-hmm. It's like brain fatigue when you're just constantly thinking of words Throughout the day. Yeah, so I so I needed I needed to go out So I went out me and and an old flame We went out I don't have to guess cuz I already know no you don't oh Yeah, we went out to all we went out to my hookah spot that shall remain anonymous because I don't want any of you creep Niggas at my spot. It's a wonderful spot the spot that we've all listen listen. Yes, that spot. Okay, so we went to my hookah spot and There was like a fucking abundance of just beautiful holes in there It's a nice area. So no, but and normally there are very attractive women in the spot, but on this day for some reason It was like multiplied by like ten. Mm-hmm, and they all looked single How does one look single? Well, I guess there's no man When you don't have a man with you and you're just shaking your ass all nights a fucking meringue in bachata And when you're staring at me with the fucking I want to fuck you guys You look single. Okay. They all looked ready for a three some or four some nice They all look just like ready to go and all I could say to myself. Well, no, no Let me just give you some backstory here the person that accompanied me. I Don't normally mind going places with this person because sometimes most times or there've been instances where this person is Also attracted to beautiful women. Mm-hmm. So that can be like really really cool and really fun The fact that I'm a man never impedes on anything because she fucking likes girls -yep never, but for some reason and We maybe we need a whole show to address The like selfish bisexual girls The girls that are bisexual, but they won't be bisexual with you Well, that's really really really wack. I think it comes like a level of trust. Well, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Are you bisexual? No, fuck do you know well, I'll do three some's, but not with everyone wait Oh, man, wait a minute. We might need more now for the day. So you're not bisexual no I feel like bisexual would mean I'd have to be interested in event maybe dating a female if that's not what bisexual means And I have a big problem with the context of the English language being totally lost upon today's youth and Marissa would be considered today's youth Okay, 27. Yes, right. Yep. That's youth. Okay. Um Bisexual means You are attracted to women. It doesn't mean oh, well, I feel like it would mean I would have to go want to go to Houston's with them I would want to go on a date with them and be in a relationship. That's not what it means. Okay. Well, then if that's the case then So you're I'm not classifying myself. I'm not putting myself in that box But you ate some pussy before yes, so you're well, I've never sucked it by the way, right? Yeah, very much just to put things in perspective. I know but I think there's a double standard there Why because you guys think that you guys can eat pussy and it will be yeah, that's not my sexual preference I just don't mind it because I don't mind it. It's cool. Well, I mine. Right. Yeah, you should because I'm not gay I can't break down the logic and you it's just it's just so what you're saying makes absolutely no sense at all Does I wouldn't be interested in dating a woman, but I'd fuck one we're not talking about dating. Okay, so you'll then you're bisexual Sure, I'll take it there we go, but I'm still not classifying myself Well, you think you haven't asked so you just live in this adverse world where everything that is my happy little world So but anyway, so on this particular night this woman that accompanied me. She wanted no parts of uh She wanted no parts of uh Actually, yeah, she was on some real uh, let me know you ready today I think maybe because maybe you guys are not perfectly back where you were No, it becomes a level of trust at that point, and I think that makes total sense It's just like yeah, like I could tell my fucking and you tell my I know but there's just that level of comfort. Why do you? That's not that's familiar familiarity. Yeah, but or trust that you're not gonna like go fuck around with the other chick And then she has to deal with the whole fucking psychological Level to that shit. I don't ever wanted like I'd be cool to do a threesome with a guy that like I literally don't care About and like I don't care if he goes and ends up fucking with a girl or one that I'm so close with that I know he would never dishonor me and like go behind my back with her. Oh now that I'm thinking about it I know your last reason was that your last reason? Oh, what was my last threesome? Oh Let me give you a minute to figure out when you're out and I got that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you ate ugly pussy at that so you would really have no no she was not average I did see her cuz we found her Instagram. Oh, yeah, and I went through fucking 90 weeks. Yeah, I mean whatever You should be ashamed of yourself. I mean, it was just it was no option. So not only are you fucking bisexual, but you'll eat ugly Wait and and she was clean and because my Virgo brain has to dig as deep as possible and Oh, even worse, so you'll just fucking eat any old box So on top of that you just told me that you had this particular nose ring and since October So I have to assume that you ate this girl with that nose ring Yeah, well, I took a shower every day. Oh, so that clean That really doesn't there So you fucking what's this you've loofy loofer is that what it's called loofa a loofa your nose ring Oh, what a fucking thought bag Anyway, oh Man I was going somewhere. Oh, yeah So when I was sitting there with this woman I felt like I was bringing like I was I was for two seconds I was angry. I had brought sand to the beach. Mm-hmm now The type of person I am I totally don't ever mind bringing sand to the beach at all. Yeah, you do it often Yeah, well because number one I'm extremely peculiar with women. So Nine times out of ten maybe nine and a half times out of ten the beach is not gonna have the type of sand that I'm looking for That's number one number two. I'm such a fucking G My nake that sand never stops me from meeting other sand from making a sand castle Yeah, from making us sand whiz Who's corner than me nobody right? The fuck up a sand whiz that's fucking great. Oh what a play on words. I'm wonderful. Anyway, yeah Yeah, sand never stops me from from Pursuing someone else and and typically this leads to like really fun times This is back and back in my three some days, right? Because I don't I don't you don't participate no You've grown up and No, not that I've grown up. I'm too. I'm too. I don't listen. It's hard enough. Please and one woman I don't have time to be pleasing to okay, and then there's too many like women have changed the threesome rules now Hmm like if I can't have a threesome and Like the best way to be safe during the threesome. So I hear uh-huh is You can't be the driver Let the women control the no no no no the woman the woman that you are closest with has to drive The second that you look like you are driving and if you're gonna drive you have to ignore the other girl That might be the smartest advice ever. You're really giving some some threesome gems here. Yeah, you told me to take note told well for the first of all half of the listeners out there have never had a threesome Yeah, who was the first one? My home girl and that dude that was a Re-aclimating me back into the break up. I know he didn't deserve it He really didn't but I was just I wanted to like experiment everything I hadn't done any of that stuff at that point So I just wanted to like try everything. So what have you not done sexually or do I even want to know that? I don't want to know. I don't want to talk about your sex life because it's really nasty. Um Damn you threw me off. I didn't throw you. Oh, so um, yeah, so I don't I don't I don't partake in those activities any longer threesome and and all of that jazz. I'm too I'm too vintage if you Serious relationship would you be then interested in possibly trying at that point? You know at the last almost threesome Well, no, no, no About four almost three sums ago Maybe six how many almost three some almost almost get involved in because contrary to popular belief I'm typically the guy that dead to the threesome Okay, why I always find two girls that don't don't want to fight that I fucked each other that once include me because they're both fucking Whole bags or whatever, but no so six almost three sums ago. I had a big argument with a girl For trying to have a threesome with me an argument. Yeah, shame on her for trying to please you her and I Were um, and I'll try to tell the stories quickly as possible her and I we were an item Okay, right and I invited a friend of mine over The friend of mine that came over is a very attractive woman very voluptuous Fat ass, but it wasn't me guys I Really fire you But me and this woman had never been intimate Yeah, there's something clicking because the engineer fucking sucks today. Well, you might be phone interference phone interference Oh, yeah, let me take this wire out All right, so yeah, but me so me and his friend had had never had sex even though all everybody out there Things that I fuck like all my fucking friends, but Couldn't be further from the truth. Mm-hmm So the friend comes over and you know they started drinking and by the end of the fucking night These two niggas on fucking kissy kissy face touchy touchy suck titty Rob pussy blazzy blazzy block, right? Cool. Mm-hmm And they both got the little lusty voices on Joe, come on. Let me suck your dick. Joe join Joe, and I'm like nah I'm cool. Y'all rock. I'm chilling. All right So this went on I'll save some of these details, but this one on so in the morning. I Was a little confused and I wanted to know what made this girl think that it was okay to Open that door with an associate of mine that I invited over if I had never opened it If I had never opened this door clearly it was for a reason, so why would you someone who is close to me? Open the sex door with this other person because you may assume that you didn't because you don't ever want to offend her That's a it's a no. I've known that the associate way longer than the other woman So if I wanted to fuck the associate, I would have fucked the associate. Okay, so yeah, I cursed this girl to fuck out Yeah, it was very inconsiderate of her Um, and then it's not the first time we've had a little incident like that But uh totally outside of that. Yeah, so um then I felt bad because she said she was only doing it for me Because you want to make me happy. No, it's bullshit. It's like, oh, this is only a complaint Joe button would be right. He's such a gel Yeah I mean, you're right. I have this as like a problem that happened It was though. I didn't speak to that. I didn't speak to either. I'm for like a little while Good for you. Way to take a stand Wait, do I really sound that like abnormal? Uh, yeah, well, that's another issue that needs to be addressed Men need to just stop plugging every damn thing. Uh, that's not every damn thing It's two women that you have a rapport with. Yeah, but to see on unlike most people stupid me This is my theory with this Hmm Pete, did you guys do a 20 minute one Epstein the other day? It was a preview, right? It's not the whole thing It was a weird random bonus episode where scythe announced that he's having a baby Yeah, y'all just think y'all are like the podcast Congrats scythe First baby And that's a horrible time to lose your job. Yeah, but he's he's thriving. He's good Don't take it to a negative place. It's a great place Yay, he's just yeah, he's just fine. Don't you worry. Yep. Well, I'm sure he's fine But I mean shit life has been swirling away money for 20 years High 97 should have some type of fucking empathy some remorse. You know fire me when I got a kid coming I had a shot that whole shit up The first time Uh, oh, yeah, that's true too. Uh, so yeah, this is my uh, theory with that women are already as complicated as Complicated can be right. Mm-hmm So you don't want to go fidgeting with their brains by just sticking penis inside of them often without having enough information about the person Oh, you already noticed about me. So why am I telling you? I'm telling you I'm telling you I forgot that people were listening Yeah, yeah, so so what so oh so what we do as men is we we say we'll fuck the girl and we will deal with the crazy later No So I don't really know if I'm that different or I have had enough crazy bitches in my life to where it's like, okay I don't take crazy for granted. I think it's a mix of both you're able to do that You can only do that logical Deduction because of the unusual amount of vagina that you've gotten well. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Allegedly Hashtag by the way the hashtag for this episode will be joe button problems Um because most of the people sitting around drinking Mountain Dew and eating a seven layer burrito right now have never had a threesome Well, see that's the other thing. I don't think that these are joe button problems because I think that uh pussy is depreciating daily It's very easy to get It's probably easy to get now than it's ever been actually especially with social media You look like you got a couple bands on instagram bitches want to throw that box to the DM speaking of that You know, you know what's been happening to me. Let me tell you what's been happening and we're gonna put it into this right two second Bitches have been and no, no, no, no. Here's some backstory chicks that I have absolutely no rapport with at all Chicks that I don't even want to be face-to-face with for longer than two minutes, right? Have been hitting me texting me DMing me insta DMing me and this is the line Let's go on vacation Really Hold up you host This needs to be addressed now if I wasn't me, right? And I was just some nigga with some money. Mm-hmm. And one of these manufactured women Because they're beautiful, but they should be beautiful because they paid the doctor to be beautiful Um, you know about that. No, I know you're just kidding. I don't know what dog. Oh my gee You didn't you didn't you didn't you didn't but uh, yeah, so these beautiful women just women just pop up in some Body's fucking inbox saying something like babe. Let's go on vacation Now I have to assume that they certainly aren't paying for this. So I want to say where's the money in going in the sky? This is how they told a woman out here. Hey, take me on vacation. Yeah. Yeah, but they don't word it that way Gotta watch semantics here. I'm gonna try that. So what? Oh, no me ain't that You may not the new bitch nigga take you to Staten Island Let me take you to an island But yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly but so one day I was really really bored And really really petty And I engaged this girl Oh, man. I would expose her if I remembered her instagram name. It was one of those fucking whole names miss cherry baby or something really hoey Oh, man, but anyway, she said babe. Let's go on vacation. And I said all right Well, where would you like to go? And she says I'm like fucking Bora bora In my head. I'm like, why would make this whole thing that I want to go to any why would you think I want to go to fucking Second Street, which I wouldn't let it import authority with this home, but Very attractive face Very attractive implants and her lower posterior is more like you but which is why she only takes pictures from the top You gotta watch these angles and these pictures. I'm driving jewels here today. Okay, this is pretty good But anyway, so I said so I said oh and I'm such a fucking what I said um Whoa, what uh damn damn damn damn damn. I said uh No, no, she then hit me back first before I could reply and she said she said um I want to go somewhere hot where I can just be naked. Oh, what a fucking bird. Yeah, so I said Just throwing some bait out there like a doofus. Well, if you're going to be naked, what am I supposed to wear? And she said that choice is yours. Oh, she thought she had it She was packing her fucking suitcase. Oh, and I didn't help matters at all because I said Why don't you send me your full name And your date of birth And she said all right zaddy As soon as I get home And it's either the dates I'm free me with the say I've never reached out to this fucking hole and I judged her and I almost blocked and reported her as fucking spam but That was like the fourth girl that I have absolutely no rapport with to hit me and say Let's go on vacation. So fellas in the event that you are experiencing this I'm pretty sure saying that they're not experiencing this hashtag Joe button problems No one listening is having kind of hot instagram models Ask them to go on vacation and if they did 90 percent of guys myself included if I was single would say yes well worth the money Yeah, because the people that listened to this podcast are Like oh, i'm meant to be picky here Yeah, I don't think any of them are fucking instagram models No be clear All some people are fucking the instagram models. Yeah, let's be Let's not give too much credit to the instagram models Because like I just finished tweeting if you ever look at these whole selfies and look at their bathrooms They're not above fucking working class dick. These bitches bathrooms are pretty are nuts Nuts nuts the decor the shower curtains the soap be hanging on to buy a bubble These these old bathrooms are horrible and yes I'm looking at things outside of the actual girl in the selfie. Yes, definitely right. I'm a dick that way, but yeah Uh, but anyway, so yeah back to my story that I started 20 minutes ago. So The girl I went out with she fucking was mad selfish rushed me out of there and That was the end of my sand to the beach experience then I had this other girl who I kind of who shall remain anonymous Continuously tell me that she needed gold herachis what Now This is sneaker head height beast type shit and nothing sounds wrong with that As currently stated however It was the context in which this was happening She was sounding very lusty And it really made me very ashamed of myself And she was drunk. She was knee-reated and and she was Spanish. So it came out like John give me go of rachis John and she was touching me and stuff. So it it came off like she was exchanging sex For sneakers for gold herachis And then I took a step back and needed to reevaluate My entire existence. Are you contemplating giving it to her? No, I wasn't. Oh, that was our other thing. Come on You know you could get a you could get a snicker Like really is that my fucking is that but I've accomplished in life. I can get any sneaker. I'm sneaker, man Yeah, I think you've accomplished in life Shut up, Pete So many other things that is one of them. Can you get gold herachis? Yeah, well, no No, because she listens to this podcast. Um, I want this pair of Jordan's. Would you be able to help me shut down? I don't know. Would you grow up? What women women were Jordan? How about get a pair of heels? I have a bunch I work here today. You know what? Can you take a picture of your heel collection so we can discuss it on our next podcast? Something tells me your heel collection is really trash. I'm not really enjoying. Oh, so what do you know? Look how fast we fucking can see what we say. I do wear heels. I have a bunch. What do you get your heels from? Anyway, don't run my store. So then so then and then and then and then and this is my last story about my weekend and then I I did what I do every few years. Mm-hmm I went on a date with a girl new girl who Who um, how do we put this? I'm trying to think of a nice clean way to say this. I did like opposite joke day, which I do like every five years where I go on a date with a girl that You just wouldn't guess it at all. That's just to say nice. Yeah, she was fucking successful. Great job No kids own crib own car Uh, you didn't tweet like a whole actually she had like a hundred followers or something real chin real chin out there uh, so I went on a date with her and um, I won't even talk about the date, but uh And this is another I felt like pure shit moment. So and and and trying to decide for where to go and eat because this girl was a very picky eater um She threw out at least four spots that I wanted to go to and when she finally decided on a spot um I said, okay, um Well, do you want to call and do we no I said do we need a reservation for this one? And she said of course and then I said, okay, do you want to make it or should I make it? And then she said you and I said all right. I'll call you back and I hung up and just that fast. I said wow what an idiot What a dickhead who asked the girl if she wants to call and make a reservation. That's how far removed I am from The dating scene. Yeah That's bad. It is pretty bad I must have came off like a real just like Shippo and probably exactly the stereotypes that surround you. Uh, but it's cool Uh, I did I did uh me and her did speak about it and she said yeah, when you said that I was a little taken aback of course you were because you are fucking studious fucking uh pristine Shim out there, but whatever. I'm off it at so Um, we have a guest we do have a guest the woman who was Probably largely responsible for this path of destruction. I was just gonna say I wonder if our guest is All of this stuff that I have spoken about this far Oh, man We're blaming her. I have to wonder what life. Oh, is that her right there? No, it's not I would I have to wonder what life would be like without um This without our guest. I wonder how different it would be But because I'm a Virgo and we have to blame someone. Can we not say any names? Let's not announce our guest She's about to do like a big announcer voice Oh, yeah, she is because you're really cool Um talk to them while I say okay, so um On saturday night joe is giving her a hug right now on saturday night. I went to a club in jersey Um had a great time with flex. Look how horrible it goes I leave you I leave you to do this with two seconds While I say hello to somebody and you just fuck the entire podcast No, I don't know what to say. I know which is why you're on that year and I'm in this Are you gonna find it? Nope, um, this is your podcast. Let's just test this mic really quick. She's you smell nice. Thank you I didn't notice her. Not me because she smells like a girl and I hope you don't smell like a girl Oh, I'm getting floral and you know mighty test her mike. Say something here mike check mike check All right. All right. All right. All right. That's enough of you. That's enough Um, so right. So so some of you that have been listening to this podcast Are for weeks now and certainly not because i'm erisa. It would all definitely be because of me That was episode one or two, right? I'm gonna say two Two? Mm-hmm. Definitely not one one was all about. I don't even know how this story came up in in episode two But I told a story And why am I telling a story from the sixth grade? Anyway, because you're just really weird, right? Yeah Yeah, no some it was a defining Moment in your adolescence. No in life Not in my fucking adolescence now. Okay, I fucking take anger out on women because of this because of this person right here to my left So I told this story about how I was in the sixth grade at charles jay waters ps 24 That's the name of the school right charles jay waters. Yes charles jay waters and how I sat behind a girl and I had the biggest crush on this girl and She didn't give a fuck not a second Careless, she just curved me the entire school year because she was stuck One ericaritini who apparently Give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much You give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much. You give it too much Okay, this is backstory. This is backstory. Yeah, we'll be able to go home. So And this is why the internet is beautiful So I told this story on the podcast and I spoke about how hurt I was and how it affected me throughout my life. Mm-hmm and Somebody out there Somebody out there Went and found this woman. Mm-hmm. And the guy and the guy We found the guy first. Yeah, they found ericaritini first ericaritini's incarcerated They gave us his record. Unfortunately Um, and he is eligible for parole in 2023, did you know that? Absolutely. All right. You didn't know that. You've got to get closer to Mike But yeah, he is eligible Oh, she's getting tongue tied. Look at you Don't leave me like that. I guess it's okay for you to do that. You can you can have your fun Okay, uh, 2023 and then I felt really bad. Mm-hmm. Um, and then shortly after that Just as the lord would have it. Mm-hmm They found Alma fucking Reyes. Yes, they did. Was it was it you that tweeted me? Okay, so uh, yes That was you That is her because when I was fucking tweet stalking you. Yes Did you tweet me? She did tweet me. Yeah, but my mentions are fucking ridiculous. Okay. I'm sorry I'm not a fucking famous rapper reality star. What's your famous for something? I'm famous at jase Huh famous at jase. That's peace word. It's like a Jason Don't do that again Alma Reyes is my very first guess and I think that that is so appropriate alma How are you? I'm great. How are you? I am a I am emotionally scarred um from our past Dealings or lack of dealings. Mm-hmm. You set off this huge emotional Emotional rollercoaster with me and I've been just on a on a rampage hurting woman ever since Because of a legendary allegedly allegedly, right now Did you hear uh this story at all? Well, I listen to it. Oh, you did listen to it Was it because of your friend or do you enjoy? No, it's cutting her friends. She's not checking you out on the fucking car. I wasn't thinking me. I was thinking you know I don't know she's been stopping been wasn't never checking me. So uh So, what did you think when you're at this door? I was surprised why it's been 18 years. It's been 20 years actually No 18. Well, yeah, not 18 20. All right 20. I remember you remember every detail Funny how the things you uh, what's that little quote? Uh funny how the things you never forget What is it? You never forget some people never Uh, remember I don't know it seems legit. I'll figure it out. Did you care about Joe back? Like did you even know? Wait? I got to get into her fucking thoughts when she heard this story. Okay What were your thoughts when you heard this story? I was You were shot because why is this fucking guy talking about this story from 20 years ago after so many years See you didn't even know the impact. I did not I had no idea No idea Now what were you saying? I wanted to know your thoughts on him back then Oh, man Now before she said wait now before she says this part question Can I have can I ask my two parts? Oh, this is kind of like a truth the truth game. Right? So, oh Literally, we're not going to play truth. Okay. I want to know your thoughts on him back then and as he Came to fame from my favorite song. Oh, pump it up. They played it in the club this way. I was famous I forgot all the words Um as he came to fame. Did you ever kind of? Shit, I might have maybe been the next You know the next star if I would have I present that yeah, well video star. Yeah. Well, I Number one before she answers that I will say that in alma's defense And this is very humble of me I probably wasn't getting very much uh, well, I was a virgin then in the sixth. Okay. Oh, yeah I was just reviewing him I know that sounds weird Relax, relax. Geez that wait now. I'm I'm gonna assume you were also a version of course So that could be one reason. Maybe she didn't even know she didn't even know enough about guys But you liked that Eric. She liked Eric. So she wasn't she liked Eric. She didn't You wanted to lose your fucking virginity Eric. So I did not and by the way, he did give me play But what is play in sixth grade? What race was eric was he looked he looked whitish Spanish. He was Puerto Rican Italian. Yeah, was it a race thing? No, hmm Wait a minute some girls only black guys So thing some girls don't like white guys. Well, you know my memory is bad. I got a really big back here I don't know about that. Don't lie. That's a thing a lot of especially Spanish girls. Don't lie 20 years later. You wanted eric carotini You did I remember it. It was a sixth grade crush. What is that? That counts? That definitely counts that broke broke joey sixth grade heart And then I find out 20 years later. No, you knew it Never Just picturing your lives together, but never actually never materialized Thank you. I think I even wrote a note You didn't I did you followed up with those pretty little corners and then pass it on alma Reyes Don't listen button Wow Did you call me anything? She paid you dust I'm bringing so you had Yeah, don't do that. That's not even a slang. So you so according to you And this is a lie, but whatever you had new idea That the guy who sat right behind you Had an affinity for you. Is that what you are saying right this second? No, I mean, I was told That they talked about it in the streets and she still didn't give a fuck. It was all laughing at our rimmers We got it. We got it. So someone did tell you but it didn't come from you But they told you yeah, they did who told you I don't remember who's sixth grade giselle You it wasn't giselle. It wasn't just yes used to talk to a girl named giselle back. I still do Oh, really you still speak the giselle. Yeah, how's giselle? She's good. She's married with kids Joy city everybody is married with kids. I live in Jersey city too Yeah, we didn't ask you that. I'm just throwing that in there Okay, so it wasn't giselle, but somebody told you and it that meant nothing to you. You could have cared less You didn't give a fuck. I mean, just just own it. I didn't look at you that way Oh What's going on in the world? Oh my first of all, I don't even remember the last time I've heard somebody say that and and today Today when women say that to me, it's a lot. I don't look at you like that. Well, I'm lying. Well, I'm talking about you This is this is 20 years ago. I'm talking about now and you better not look at that. I don't so Hold on wait. So how did you do that way though? Was Joe was Joe Poppin in back then? Was he a dork? What was his situation? I probably wouldn't have gave me any pussy either back then he He was like a class clown. He was a class clown. Oh, those are the ones that usually end up as rappers. So really didn't you take the normal route? Yeah What study shows that just you know the ones you know, it's funny though. I'm a clown still you are You are I'm super clowny still, but uh, we don't need to do that But so the class clown You figure and it's funny because today humor gets you pussy. Yeah Not just not get your own So so at some point You're saying eric caratini did Approach you in that way eric caratini wasn't a virgin Well, he was older than you guys. Why was he that age? He was older than me And if he wasn't, he seemed fucking older than me in the sixth grade. He wasn't that much. Because we were in sixth and seventh grade, right? That's two years of pain in high school. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, slow down. We did not. We weren't you? No. Not in the same class, but we went to Lincoln. OK, well, what happened was-- And you were around. After 24, I went to high school in North Carolina, right? Mm-hm. And I went to boarding school out there, and I dropped out. And then I came back to Jersey, and I went to Lincoln. But by then, my life is already-- Holy shit, I never knew that about you. Why don't you ask questions? That's amazing. Oh, yeah. Hey, Joe, did you ever go to high school in North Carolina? That's going to fucking come across my mind. It's 12 documented in my past. But anyway, by the time I got to Lincoln, I was off school. You did go to Lincoln, right? So you were in a different mindset at this point? Oh, yeah. Were you on your rap shit? At this point, I was too high to be concerned with Alma and women, and I was fucked up and at Lincoln. But you did go to Lincoln. Yeah. We could have had sex in Lincoln, because you are in a very-- You were talking to Magali, you remember? Oh. Sounds like 100%. No. [LAUGHTER] Wait, who the fuck is Magali? A man. And why was that her name? And do you still speak to Magali? Sounds like country. Wait, who's Magali? You sang out on Goodford together. Me, you, Lucky, Maggie. Magali? Oh, so you guys used to hang out? Maggie. No idea. Your memory is really bad, though. My memory is really bad, though. But that just goes to show how much you meant to him that he clearly remembered you. Was Maggie cute? I wouldn't judge her, yeah, I think so. That means no. Yeah, it doesn't feel like a positive thing. That makes you want to know she wasn't too high back then. Damn. Magali. Interesting. So now let's rewind before high school, because my memory's bad. I could be totally off here. But you and I went to the movies one day. We did? Oh, there's a development here? I thought we did. He was so enduring. He was making shit up in his party. No, I thought that we went to see juice. I don't remember. How do you guys are all these? We went to-- Damn. [LAUGHTER] That was never-- Because you were two years old, right? Because when juice came out. No, her and I were very young when juice came out, too. But I remember it because I thought that was it. You thought you were about to shoot at that? I was in. Yeah. I was going to shoot my shot. It was shot. Yeah, we went with two other people, though. Who of those people are? I don't fucking remember at all. Magali, obviously. No, no, I didn't go. Magali. I don't ever want to-- a man that we fucking let people know that I talk to a girl named Magali. That sounds exotic. Yeah, I'm sure it's not exotic. And fucking Jersey City. Somebody exotic in Jersey City. Actually, all you-- women just have the wrong definition of the term exotic. I was being sarcastic. Oh, OK. OK, I don't know. But my point still stands about women. Yeah, so we went to the movies to see juice. And I thought that we were making some type of-- This is news, Tom. I thought we were making some leeway together. Obviously, it meant so much nothing to her that she doesn't even recall. So I'm going to need you to let go of that part. No, I don't remember. I'm hurt. I don't remember. I know. Instead of healing the wounds that we came here for today, I think we just opened the door. You kind of reopening. That's crazy. You don't remember a thing. You have bought popcorn. And you buy it for yourself or for her. As a little nigga to buy some popcorn, because I don't remember. So were you guys still in middle school at this point or we had gone to high school? No, we were in middle school and it was raining. And it was a weekend. I had to beg my fucking mom to go outside. Night for Joe and clearly you were hoping that Eric would be there and that's why you went to the movies. And he wasn't-- so you erased that part. Oh, no, this was probably just like a really casual thing for us. You just probably wanted to see the movie. But yeah, that's what I was going to add. Let's rewind back to that. So Eric, at some point, came to Howard's shoot. Eric didn't go to Lincoln, right? No. I don't think Eric went to high school. He went to a lot of crime after the night. Yeah, I don't think Eric went to high school. Because he realized in the future, he'd never be able to compete with Joe Budden. That's not what happened at all. He turned to the dark side. Very much, he was killing me back then. Oh, look at us now. Well, no, that's horrible. And that's a horrible thing to say. And I personally don't live that way. But-- so Eric did attempt to holler at you at some point. And in accordance to your story, you shut it down. No. She obviously-- they dated! I don't know. No, no, no, we did not think. No, no, no, no. Eric-- ah! I fucking died here. We did not think-- You fucked Eric Carrotini. No, of course not. In the sixth grade, are you saying-- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, wait, so y'all dealt in the sixth grade? I think it was seventh or eighth grade. Ah, that's my point. But still, there was no-- no, nothing. Crazy? So then, what do people do when they date at that date? We were not dating. I came from you, not from me. No, I got it from you. You said-- I said he came-- And you approached me? He gave me play, because in your last podcast, you said he didn't give me any play. Oh, so you want to rectify that? Yes. You want to fix it? Yes. All right, so he did give you play. Yes. OK. I don't know if I want to hear that. I don't want to talk about it. That's sixth grade. So-- So it didn't last very long? No, no, no. No, it's the sixth grade. So maybe-- yo, hey, Joe, some of this fucking up in here, but OK, I think I fixed it without you. OK, so high school. I fixed it already. So high school, I'm assuming that's when your love life just began to sprout. My love life. Yeah. People have to, at some point, begin to have a love life. And high school is typically when this occurs. Now, for me, it was really bad. That damn Shavanti chestnut. Oh, it was bad. Is that a person? Yeah, that's the person that fucking snatched my virginity from me I saved for Alma, and she didn't fucking want it. So I-- Shavanti chestnut from T-neck. That's a weird name. In North Carolina, who had allegedly slept with a few men at the school. But I figured that was good. You want to get someone who is more experienced than you don't just want to be too virgin, Sydney, or just doing it, but it was a horrible, horrible, horrible, experience. I can't wait for the internet to pull her up, because you know that's next. Well, find her. Won't find Shavanti. I don't think it'll be that easy. No. And I really hope they don't find her. If they found these, too, I'm pretty sure they're going to find everyone that you want to. Shavanti wasn't the-- yeah. I mean, we all got to start somewhere, right? Not me. I got a pretty nice-- You started there, bro. So you started there. Fucking track record. I was just going there to get some experience. Just get acclimated into the world. Yeah, figure it out. That was my situation with the breakup. High school, I'm assuming, is when this happened to you, because you were-- and still are very attractive, girl. You look the same. Thank you. The hair is different. And the dress is different. The dress style. You were very jeans and-- Tom boys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, but what I appreciated that she didn't care. She didn't care that I appreciated that. She didn't-- she didn't care that I appreciated that. Fucking-- but anyway, so I'm assuming high school is when this weekend can take place, right? Give me your fucking-- what's your story? Are you married? No, single. Children? Yes, how many? I was married for 10 years. Wow. To Eric. No. I got a hat, I got a hat. Was this when you guys went to school with? No. Oh. How do you-- married for 10-- well, which-- when did this start? High school, senior year. You married your high school, sweetheart. And he went to Lincoln, I was assuming. No, he went to Ferris. Ferris, Spanish guy, huh? The min again. Ah, good old-- No wonder. My downfall. Good old Ferris. Good old Ferris, full of Spanish people, so you guys will gather 10 years. Yeah, do remember that at some point. Because, yeah. You called me when I was living on a Maryland one time. I don't know how you got me. Yeah. Whoa! You're a creep. I found her. And were you already pumped up, Joe? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, and we start referring to me as that. I don't know, but it's only a fucking dick. That's actually the only song I know of his. Oh, OK. OK, well, she's-- We have a huge band here. But she knows better. So, yeah, I did find her. And she was living away somewhere, and she did have a kid. And she had a-- yeah, I think I saw some pictures of my space or something like that. This is my space. Yeah, like a whole happy family going on. I was like, all right, cool. So but then that didn't work. And now you are back in Jersey. I'm in Jersey. I'm in Jersey. Go, God. And you're in Jersey. I mean, I'm just saying, we're all in Jersey. We're all New Jersey natives. And I'm living there. Sing like a $1 bid. Are you? Yes, I am. So in high school, did you ever find Joe attractive? He was cute. I just looked at Joe more of like, brother type. So were you-- you guys had a-- you guys had a relationship? What occurred? I mean, who used to-- I used to cook mac and cheese and spam. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I was trying to get him in. Because he was mac and cheese and spam. I was trying to get him in. Wait, what is that story? Because that sounds disgusting. She used to make that. I used to cook it a lunch time. Lunch time. We just spam. Yes. You fry the spam, put it inside your mac and cheese. She is two years old. So-- Oh, OK. Disgusting. It's-- I've never even had a bam. And I would never want to. It's in a can. It's canned meat. And she's white. Let me say that. She just-- that's what's going on. You're trying to do this whole Spanish look today. And you're thinking white. This is-- what? I see the guy who looked every day. I have my jersey on, my vans. Nothing is white about your appearance right now. Everything. Yeah, but listen, back when we were doing the mac and cheese spam, I was still-- You know what I mean? I was still trying to do my stuff. See, you were trying to play this. See, but that was in high school, too. Yeah, but I still-- I wasn't that. Yeah, I wasn't-- I wasn't it. Did you-- you had no game? I didn't know about women, really, then. That's what it was. OK. I was still figuring myself out. Now, today, Chad-- You figured out a little bit too much. Shut the fuck up, Marissa. I'm not the whore that you guys make me out to be. Oh, I didn't say that. Who said you were right? Wait, we never got to the second part of the question. So as his career blew up, did you ever feel like, shit? I shouldn't have married this man. She was married for 10 years. Not at all. Who looked at their husband like that? Yo, what a hoe. I'm not a hoe. I'm just saying where our minds are at, you know? Don't know. If you had to look at your husband like that-- Maybe she wasn't happy. Obviously, they ended up somewhere, so it didn't end up all-- Who left hoe? Oh, he left you. I'm opening up. No, he didn't leave me. I'm opening up a wall. Oh, man. All right, all right, everybody. Figured if you could-- I don't want to make my fucking first cross cry and shit. I've laid a breath out, please. OK, OK, cool. That's a-- how's your brother doing? He's great. Is he? Which one? Big shot. Out of three. Oh, he's good. Oh, yeah, you do have a fucking three, brother. Where the fuck is Big Shot? He lives down in London. Oh, he's still out of here. Everybody's out here. It'd be nice to see him at some point. I'm assuming you have his father. I feel like a barbeque. And we'll talk about that off the air. So I noticed that when your girlfriend gave us your social media, you had only had a handful of tweets. Yeah, I'm not on social media. Did you make a Twitter upon knowing all this had started happening? She had a Twitter. It was before. Somebody probably made her erase that fucking Twitter. Yeah, your Twitter is very low. It says I'm like four tweets. No, I don't go on it. I don't even have an Instagram. I just got back on Facebook. I'm not into that social media life. So what do you end to? What do you do for a living? What are you into? Nothing. I'm just kidding. I'm an office manager at OBGYN. I'm going to school for now. Oh, I got a doctor. Look at you. Ready to run on it? Look at you. Ready to run that one? I have not found a good one. I keep-- because I had a great one where I-- Oh, that's Didi's. No. I do get checked every six months, though. I just got checked. But no, I had a good one when I lived with my ex in King of Prussian in Pennsylvania. Wait, do we have to talk about OBGYN? I mean, that's a great doctor for us as all of a sudden. Where's that? In Hoboken. I'm going to go check that out. Also, you were playing Hoboken. Yes. I'm not far from Hoboken. Yeah, this is great. So it's a girl. A girl doctor? A guy got here. We have six doctors there. This isn't a fucking head podcast. Maybe I'm going to get some patience to them. Maybe we're going to get some advertising going. You sound too inquisitive about that. Because I don't know what your pussy is doing. Because I want nothing. But I want to find a good doctor for when I have children. You want to stay with your OBGYN. My mother, I went to my mom's OBGYN. The one that birthed me, I was going to him as an adult. And then he retired. Mottie. But so-- Let me just reel you back in for just-- I don't care about that. Oh, look, OBGYN's are important to a woman. I just want to make sure that your fucking pussy is clean. My vagina is 100% clean. And actually, I don't even matter to me. It's just like-- It matters to the world. I'm very-- Nobody cares if your vagina is clean. They care because maybe you have a potential bay listening. Hey. Anyway. So now, why are you single? It's by choice. Oh, yeah, that means she's fucking got baggage. It's never by choice. It's never by choice. It's by choice. How long have you been single for? Seven months. Oh. Oh, this is fresh. So this is a noob. Oh, this is-- Oh, this is getting great. Oh, wow. Oh, who the hell were you dating? We all need his name. The divorce was seven months ago? No, the divorce was five years. Oh. Oh, you-- OK. So the guy that you just left, how long we all together? Two years. Mm. Yo. I can't lie. I hate to be petty next door here. I'm kind of happy that Alma's failing it fucking low. I'm kind of-- I'm very petty of you. It's like the curse of Joe. Oh, there we go. This is fucking great. No, I don't have your-- I don't have your curse. How do you know? Don't. You were just with the guy. Maybe she chose to leave him? It would still be a curse. Well, either way, it would be a curse because he ended up-- Yeah. Mm. This is wonderful. I'm so happy that your love life is failing. I'm glad you're happy. I'm not that mine is doing great at all. Right. You haven't done much better. Let's check out your track, right? Oh, man. My love life. I'm going to find love out there, though. I am faster than you. Yeah, no. I'm going to find-- I have nothing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, your life is not conducive to finding love. So do you still want this guy, the guy you just left? Oh, he fucked up. That was a fast nope. That no was entirely too quick now. I'm cool. I'm good. Damn, we don't want him. Nope. What do you look at? Do you think Joe's attractive now? Oh, that's so cool. Let's make this nice and awkward. Let's get this fun and awkward. That ain't awkward. That ain't awkward. That ain't awkward about that. I still see him as Joseph. Oh, nothing's changed. Oh, yeah. Little Joey from La La La. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's the PC answer. That's the very safe answer. Listen, Joe today at 34. This ain't Lil Brother Joe from 13 in my fucking-- what was the teacher's name? Miss-- starts with a dumb-- Miss Whit. Miss Whit. Yeah, you remember my name? Yeah. Did you watch "Love and Hip Hop" when he was on it? No. She's telling you she didn't have shit about shit. Her man wouldn't let her do anything. She kept her in a basement somewhere. In a cage? In a dark door. You didn't know shit about shit. And you threw her up through a fucking-- Exactly, in a cage. What's happening in the world? So what do you do for fun? You don't have fun. I don't have fun. That's sad. I'm not a club chick. Do you collect anything? Like stamps? No. So what's wrong with you? What do you-- what do you defects? What do you mean was wrong with you? What's wrong with you? Oh, plenty. I don't think we have enough time. I don't think we have enough time for what's wrong with me. I'm a tad bit off, but that's OK. Fuck you, or something. Yeah, I'm off. I'm just totally, totally crazy. But yeah, everyone has something wrong with them. All right. What would you say if you were in a job interview, what your weaknesses are? No, no, no, no, no, no, that's bad. That's bad. That's bad. We don't care about that. Like, if I were to ask your ex, what's wrong with you? What would you say? Well, you're Spanish, so you're crazy. I'm going to say psychospanish. So literally, oh, my god, my son, yes. You don't want to. You're Spanish, so you're crazy by default. Somewhere in there, right? Yeah, I have anger, anger. If you're punched a hole in a wall. Yes, I have. I was so joking, but that's amazing. [LAUGHTER] Oh, my god. This is fucking-- yo, I'm ecstatic that Alma is single and angry. Have you broken your electronic? No, I'm just so angry. Have you broken electronics, such as cell phones and televisions, computers? Cell phones, that tires. Slash tires. Mm. I've had a good one here. There's been some cheating going on. She's been cheated on. Bust the windows. I wouldn't have cheated on you, but you blew that one. [LAUGHTER] You ruined that one. You had your chance. Well, all right, so have you been curving recently the way that you curved me in sixth grade? I did not curve you. You did. I did not. You knew that I was-- You never made a pass. You didn't shoot your shot. You never made a pass. I didn't know how to make a pass. Well, you know, you-- so now you know. But I was attracted to you. You knew I was attracted to you, and you didn't care. That's a curve. That's valid. Yeah, right? That's a curve. Yeah, it's a big curve every day, B. Because I think I told somebody to let her know that that was the case. He told somebody to let her know. Yeah, well, we don't respect that. And it's sixth grade, and it's sixth grade is respectable. I mentioned Eric Carentine told us straight up, yo, it was suck. So that's why he won. Probably-- well, I don't know that he won good accord now. You know what? According to Alma, nothing ever materialized there. And I don't know if I believe Alma with that. She was enamored with this guy. Did you guys kiss? Yes. That's the only thing you did. Oh, my god. Oh, the fuck is going on in the world? Eric got a kiss. I got spammed, and macaroni and cheese. You know what happened, though? After one of those macaroni and cheese and spam lunch dates, I think we were supposed to do that again. And that's when I had it set in my mind. And I was going in. I was going for the fucking kill of that next one. And then the next one's never happened. That's horrible. Because you were talking to Maggie. And Maggie was your friend? Yes. Look how spiteful I was. I was so petty in her. You were so petty and still petty. I was so petty and hurt. I said, let me talk to her friend. That'll teach her there. I wonder what happened with me and Maggie. I wonder what had failed. Well, clearly, I didn't have sex with Maggie. Because she's not spiteful in her. You still have her here 30 years later. It's OK. Hey, that's a good point. Now, who would do this? Who would bring their fucking first crush, first curve? 20 fucking years later. A-- Joe, Joe, I want to tell you something. Several years ago, when I first started my talk show in DC, I had a girl that I'd been hollering at at the end of college who I'd known for a long time, almost as long. And she'd never give me any play. I brought her up here to the radio show. Did almost this same segment-- do you know how it ended? You got the pussy. God, Marissa, why are you so crude? What kind of-- yes. It ended up with us eventually hooking up a little bit. And then I dissed her for my now wife. Oh, but that's not going to happen. That's such a love story. Oh, she just had Joe Yankee. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. There's that anger. There's that-- I didn't-- nobody suggested anything. She just popped up. No, well, that ain't going to happen. He ain't getting shit. Like, damn him. See, I can maneuver today. See, there we can maneuver a little bit. They ain't only so angry. Jesus. No one was even suggesting such a thought. So you would never consider a date with Joe. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not sending you guys up. I'm just literally asking her mind state. Like, if he was like, hey, let's go out for hookah. She probably didn't even know what hookah is. I do know what hookah is. Spanish woman loves that. Well, I don't know. She's been in a basement. She's been locked in her fucking cage somewhere. I don't know what she knows. So you do know what hookah is. Yes, but I don't smoke it. OK. Do you eat food sometimes? Are you talking about your robot? Like, you do eat from time to time, right? Of course. OK, so yeah, but that would be two old friends catching up like that's that there are different versions of dates. There absolutely is. I think I should do it for me. It's a shot. It's been 20 years ago. No, no, no, no, no. No, today, today, we won't shoot the shot. I just wanted to get closure. No, I just needed closure as to why this was taking place. And I'm glad I can give you closure. And she gave me the typical Spanish woman curve. Do you feel like a little better? Like a little brother. First of all, how do you? A little brother. I can say little. Oh, like a brother. I said brother. See, ask what you think of yourself. A little. A little brother. Oh, no, baby. Oh, I actually got that. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What? Quite the contrary. But that's that's neither of you. I don't want to talk about that one more. So I'm present right now. All right. But now I definitely think that we should go. Where's a like friendly place? The who go like? Friendly is. Friendly is. Does that even change so even operated? They're still friendly. Fridays is better. They have good drink selection. I do like final drink. Yeah, but I'm a problem. I don't drink. Oh, what? Oh, we love match, baby. Do you smoke cigarettes? What are your vices? What are you indulging? She is like a robot still. I'm not a robot. You don't do shit. Do you have any bad habits? No, I used to. She's angry. I'm not angry. You told us you were angry. Used to be. Oh, so now you're perfectly fine. Yeah, but I feel like any man could bring him a pack out of you if he makes you crazy enough. So who are you dating now? No one. No one. There's not any. I just got out seven months ago. Why would I jump into another one? What a good girl. I'm so used to these hoe bags. So there's like no hoe phase for you? Like you're not. No, there's no. That's just you. That's just you, Marissa. The post break. I'm hoe phase. Everyone goes through it. Which is, I find that pretty funny that you're saying that considering you've only had two boyfriends. Yeah. That's not going to post break up. That's just you being a hoe. No, I'm very calm. No, I don't really. I don't really indulge. So how long Alma before you feel like you are ready to date? Yeah. Ready to date. Are you going to ask? That is where I was going with that. And don't give me sexy eyes. Don't try. Because you're like a sister. I like it a little bit. Reverse, reverse curve. I like it. You're like a sister in here, right? So don't even try. Yeah, it doesn't work anymore, Joe. It's not. It's fine. We're not buying it. It's darn it. Yeah. Yeah. So how long before, yeah. I don't know. Maybe a year or two. Gee. What do you enjoy that year? Because you're not going to drink. Gee. You're not going to smoke. I'm going to be a school. I'm going to be a school. I have my mindset. I'm just. Oh, but you're going to go to school for her. Oh. She is holding that pussy hostage. She sucks. It's valuable. Why not? Don't just give it away for free. I'm not for free. Exactly. Look at my... Look at my... Yo, maybe Almond needs to come away more often. My body seems so confused. Wait. It is valuable. Maybe she should be interested in going on vacation. Tabora Bora. That is pretty funny. No, we can go to, uh, we can go to, uh... Yeah, in Ireland, the exotic island. We can go somewhere. And... What is Spanish woman like, um, that place in the Bronx? Don't go donkey. Don't go donkey. Oh, don't go donkey. See? She likes it. I knew it. Got it? I won't be there. Because we got terms and conditions today. Okay. And I'm not just running the don't go. I say that like I don't be in all the hoodies fucking spot. Why don't you like show her some very fancy... You like that place on the water and, uh... No, because that would... That would... That would... That makes it no longer a friendly thing. That would make her think that I want some vagina. So, we have to do like a really like friendly... A Joe situation. Outcast? I mean, I'll back. No, that... Look how hip... Look how hip-hop I am. That's very basic. I went to Outcast from Outcast. That is so fucking hip-hop. Um, I think, I think Fridays was better. You like their wings. I'm too famous to put Fridays. You... What? We're getting that t-shirt pressed up right now. I'm famous for Friday. Yeah, that... County Joe button problems. Let's get again. That wouldn't be an enjoyable experience for either one of us. Especially the Fridays in Hackensack. We have to go somewhere where, um... Nobody knows your name. Where people don't really care. Um... Wait. You didn't agree to this? Yeah, exactly. We know. We know. We know. How about like a... A loose bar in like Maplewood? She doesn't drink that drink. Oh yeah, that would be pointless. That would be really stupid. And the food's probably no good. Um... Jayce? Why do you know all the bird spies? Because... Like, why do you just, uh... Roo-doo days. Uh, Fridays. Personally, I'm for Applebee's, but... Oh, you are super bird. No, I'm just basic. Yeah. I prefer Applebee's versus like Ruth Griss. Uh, we can do um... Um, what's this about? What's this about? Do me a favor, Marissa. No. Just... Just shut the fuck up. Just... I need a second without your 12-year-old brain dictating what happens in my life. Really? No, that's... I don't want some attention so they can Instagram a fucking, uh, plate and say, "Oh!" Striches, I'm over it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not doing it. We can go to um... We can go to um... Is that Pier... Pier 115. Yeah. Have a very nice ambiance there. Very super dope spot. Okay. I have so much to ask you that I cannot ask you here. So... Yeah. We'll talk. We'll talk. We'll kind of music deals too. We'll talk off with you. Alright, so wrap it up. Yeah, yeah. You're just fucking Marissa. I wanted to know. Everything. So you're so sad about Chata, I'm an anger. Everything. Or hard to... I don't listen to Joe Biden. I don't listen to Joe Biden. Oh, so that's not everything? No. Clearly. How good is your Bachata? It's great. I was married to a Dominican. Ten years. Mmm. How good is your Bachata? Yeah, really. Mine isn't too shabby. Are you willing to date a Dominican for a full for a while? Oh my God, guys, we all date a Dominican. Are we friends? No, you've sucked and swelled a few. No. That was my only Dominican smoke was the only one. And I don't know if I'm counting him as like a... He's good for two years. No, I'm not telling my... As a boyfriend. Oh, as a Dominican. It's like a weird introvert type. He's special, special case. Shout out to Rosa and smoke, but he is a different type of Dominican. Okay, we didn't have to specify which smoker was now everyone. Oh, oh, oh, it's my bad. But I want to thank you for taking your time out to provide me with closure. And thank you to your friend for facilitating with Brittany. Brittany. Brittany, thanks, Brittany. Brittany, you have all... You've helped me tremendously. I cannot thank you. Tremendously. Shut the fuck up, Marissa. I can't express to you how deeply appreciative I am that you made this happen. And Pier 115. Oh, if you're free, which you are, because you're single and angry. Yeah. I didn't agree. Oh, yeah. All right. You know what about these Spanish girls, guy? I kind of get to the defensive mechanism wall. She's hurt. She's guarded. All right. We'll deal with that off there. How long has this been? How long? We're getting the wrap ups. How long? Long as that episode so far. Time to go. All right, but how long has it been? 76 minutes. That's only 16 minutes over. We didn't get to our segment today. Oh, we didn't do it. It might be over four. Oh, suspenseful. Next week. All right. Good. Because Mottie wanted to do Chief Keef and I was scared he would shoot us on it. So that makes perfect sense. Thank you. So I'll name this podcast late. I want to thank Al Moreias for giving me closure. I want to thank Marissa for something. I mean, she didn't do shit, but whatever. And that's a wrap. Thanks Peter for being late. As always. I'm here for you.