The Joe Budden Podcast
I'll Name This Podcast Later Episode 1
In the debut Episode of Joe Budden's podcast, Joe and Marissa
Alright ladies and gentlemen Joe Biden Marissa go ahead I want to welcome everybody who is listening right this second. Let me cut the music off because I have a lot to say Um, what was the name of the show? I think it's on name this show name the show later with Joe button with that would be me and you me I'm Marissa Mendes don't take over to my I'm just saying now How are you feeling? Amazing. I had a great day already. You're probably not about to have an enjoyable podcast. I Have some things that I would like to know what you're gonna want to discuss and you want to know what else I stood in my mirror this morning before coming here and I practiced my response because I knew that you were gonna Rip into me. So I was I'm ready for it. How did you know that because the fact that you know that lets me know that you know Your behavior was totally unacceptable. It wasn't unacceptable your reaction Inside of the club, but we won't get into that shit. Okay. What today is well We don't care about what today is or so all star weekend Just passed it did It was wonderful. It was all right. I had a great time. I was very um alone Very proud of myself. It's very mature This all-star weekend how so I didn't have any holes. No, I didn't have any hope all the thing about all star weekend is It will let you know where You rank in terms of priority with your holes You know what you're right because I learn things about my rankings too. Well your rank has been loved Your rank has been no, I saw two out of four bays or five How many bays do you have? I think I forgot. All right, so we don't care about that So so around Tuesday I started getting the influx of text messages From all of my holes letting me know that they were in town They want to see me. Let's get up and eat Tuesday to Thursday. My my text inbox was very active. Okay Around Friday that that kind of stopped It stopped Which was fine because I really wasn't looking to engage in any any whole activities But still I just want to feel a little important. Mm-hmm. Sometimes you need your text to go off to feel important So Friday what happened Friday when did I see you? We were together Saturday. Do I want to get straight in the fucking Saturday? No Because you want to talk about Friday and your hoes or like no nothing really happened Friday You know what my thing is let's just get right into it. It's important here I'd be wanting to know from women right and to the to the beautiful women out there I'm going to use the term holes a lot that term is not gender specific I'm speaking about male and female holes number one and number two when I say the word holes. I'm not speaking about Women, it's not defamation of women. I'm Typically talking about holes and we can discuss what that entails later on But if Friday never happened it was no holes went to a couple parties a couple of friends hit me and said a couple spots were Lituation and they were not a situation. I also hate the word Your friends when I use the word situation. It will totally be for sarcasm Fab is my guy, but yeah, we won't be using that word very often Saturday I feel like I need to provide backstory. Okay. Wait, what with you? No, yeah, no Let's provide back Let's not and say we did a few. What is this? I want to say a few Maybe about a month and a half ago Had some friends and family over the house because that's what I do I like to you know Have a gathering to the house instead of going out because it allows for me to see and enjoy people without being annoyed and being passed Demos the entire evening and taking pictures and autographs actually the picture kind of killed autographs But that's a whole not the topic. Was I here as you were at this gathering? Okay, so mighty comes in with her two friends One of whom being a fucking holebag because he says now Anyhow, but she's not a whole bad. No, she's not. I don't care if she fucking suck and suck me off Oh, okay, so we're just going we're just going balls to the wall now I'm just that that that little tidbit means absolutely nothing still a whole back Okay, what's happening right now? That's my intern Why do you have an intern because anyway, so I have this gathering at my house, right? Uh-huh. Mottie comes in with her whole bag friend and another friend who may be a whole bag But I don't know her well enough to call her a whole bag We're playing taboo people are drinking Mottie is glued to her phone the entire evening waiting on a rapper to text her wait, which one? Wait, I'm not doing that. Okay. No, no, no. No, we're not gonna say names. I'm saying are we referring to my long Draw-nout text or we're just talking about the person we saw. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm referring to the long drawn out Okay, so she is like glued to this fucking phone, right? And when I and when I say this what I mean is like Like she was writing entire Paragraphs we were having a heated conversation and he was writing paragraphs back. No, you were having a heated conversation and he was responding back with Okay, you bugging you stupid Leave me alone. He didn't say leave me alone. I'm not beat. He didn't say I don't want to fuck you anymore He did not say your head your head is trash. No one would ever say my head is trash. No, he was replied back with ease with these type of things Right, and I only know this because I snatched the phone from Marissa. It's his favorite pastime, but but anyway Long story. Well, the first half of a long story short because that's completely irrelevant to everything We're talking about a body gets up and she storms out the door with her two friends And she heads over to the strip club Lust shout out to Kev and and Frank and all the good people of lust Beatrice. How you doing? She storms over there, and I have no idea why I come to find out A rapper is going to be appearing there. She knows this because she stalked this person's Instagram Not because he texted her and said yo come meet me. Okay people do that all the time I'm not rolling Fans that want to meet the artists. You're not a fan I mean, I am a fan I have an album and that's kind of what we need to discuss at the end of this conversation But anyway, Mardi Russia is over there. So this rapper can see her, right? No, so I could see him Same thing, I guess yeah, so she can see him the rapper never shows up. She's just there looking stupid 45 minutes for absolutely nothing and now she's just sitting there with dry box looking dumb No, oh wow, why are we going so crazy right now? I don't think that's going crazy I wasn't dry box. I was having a great time with my friends. We saw DJ enough. That's a good friend of mine We had fun. We turned up you didn't drive 45 minutes to see DJ enough I know I didn't purposely go for him But I saw him I enjoyed my time there and I didn't drive and I was drunk So point so point being you were drunk and you did not see the person that you did go to see is that a yes or no? That is a yes if we're on the stand that is a yes. All right, so I'm correct. So that's the backstory fast forward all star weekend Saturday, right? That's what happened Friday. I went to some kenny smith party was like a fucking wbls parties a bunch of old people I was the youngest person there and I never want to be the youngest person in a party um, so I left there and then I went to um I went to some other all star weekend shindig. I was suited and booted and I still felt like Yeah, I was only like in person the club that really wasn't it So I said, you know what fuck this. I'm just gonna go do my ratchet normal New York shit and I went to lust and I had the time of my life me and my good friend Rory I threw a couple of alley-ups to Rory. He bagged a few holes. We had a great time in lust But we only were there for about 40 minutes Where are we? No, I'm not talking Friday. You weren't present. Okay, fast forward to Saturday. Everybody's sending me these invites to go out Let's hang let's kick it. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna do some more ratchet shit. I'm gonna head over to lust Because I had a wonderful splendid time the night before let's do it again Right because I'm an addict. I like to do things all the fucking way. So we go to lust me Rory morissa of who else uh a couple a couple of Steph yeah, let me shout out to her. She was there ish comes it's just we had a whole crew squad deep and we go to lust A rapper is supposed to be there. Now. Are we saying said rappers name? No, we are never ever in our lives We're not saying what can I say is initial. No, you could say nothing. Can I say anything about it? All right, uh Well, all right. Well, let me see. Well, it certainly wasn't uh, well, who's an uh, it wasn't me. No, who's an uh, who's an attractive rapper? It wasn't me Yeah, well, you were there so So it is this rapper here and I really couldn't understand okay the women. I don't understand a lot about women Oh, but obviously Mardi is now glued to the fucking entrance of the club Her head is on a swivel It wasn't we were in the back. I can't even look at the entrance And yet you still found a way to look at the entrance We were upstairs the entrance is downstairs. What is the entrance upstairs? Oh, the VIP entrance No, the entrance into the fucking strip club not the entrance to vip the entrance to the strip club Mayno comes in Me and him kick it. He comes in with a million niggas. They go over there like it's starting to become a situation Yes Said rapper's crew starts coming in. Mardi because she's a fucking instagram stalker fucking fuck Knows the entire crew. She knows the fucking bus boys the Record handlers the dj the weed carriers. She knows everyone because she stalked this person's instagram So she's excited mind you she had a headache and would not budge She was sad and depressed and lonely. I wanted to leave I need to explain why I was also sad because my tech messages were really ridiculous at that point Some guy that I was talking to Asked me to go on his other bitches instagram because apparently she's blocked him And he asked me to screenshot her last three photos and send it to him I'm thinking that it's like gonna be a good purpose He's gonna be like yeah, she's talking shit about you or something like i'm gonna check her or even like She's putting our situation on blast. I'm gonna check her thinking it's something like that And I was like, okay here and he's like I just wanted to see if she was still in the york So he just wanted me to help him with his other bit So that was my mindset at that point So ladies and gentlemen of the jury Mardi Munro has already proved that she speaks to idiots constantly via text Well, I didn't say that he was a gem And you did it But anyway, they have nothing to do with that because I thought we were gonna have a good purpose and it had turned out It wasn't good good for you. There weren't many good purposes from you this night Finally said rapper comes in the building Swag on a trillion. No, actually he looked a hot ass fucking mess, but I thought that was pretty swaggy Yeah, when you I don't hate the word swaggy when you when you look A mess, but it looks like it's done intentionally. I enjoy that. Okay, and that's what it appeared that he had going on Mardi jumps up and stands on the couch We were all standing on the couch. No, I wasn't standing on the couch. I'm mature. Ish was on the couch We were some of us were on half of us were on the couch. Okay. Well, the adults were not standing on the couch Ish wasn't standing on a couch. He was on the couch and his boy was standing on the couch with his back to us staring at True, not even Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, edit that out. Please hold up. Hold up. Hold up. Hold up. No, so no So let's make that clear. He was being the mailest male groupie of the cinch That man is that that man is not here to defend himself. No back to us, but you are Here I am. Mardi's head is on a swivel. She's looking to her lap. She's for her mouth is on the fucking floor She's got drool coming out on a fucking mouth. No, I was side eyeing the whole time like glancing over And I would love to give the real backstory as to why but you've already set this up to the point where I don't even want to because it's gonna It's bad. You looked like Uh A retard. No, here's the thing also. I knew they weren't looking at us that maybe there's a couple people in front of us That might see me. I didn't care. The point was I was trying to make see I can't even I can't even properly defend myself because then i'm just Putting more outfit you can't defend yourself because you look like a fool. No, I did there was a purpose behind And and and I don't mind you looking like a fool You reserve the right to look like a fool whenever you may please I only mind When you were with me and you said yeah, how about you didn't check your male groupie friend that had his bet He was literally staring at the crew like he was with them I know it may be difficult for you to gauge how you were looking because it's difficult to do that when you're on an inside looking out Do you trust me at all? You do yeah, but it's like a weighted truck like it's like there's levels to this trust So you do so you so you do trust me. I do but sometimes you're you're judgmental. You know your judgment is skewed. So I can't necessarily Agree with you on that anyway, so you think you look great. No. No, I didn't think you looked wonderful I didn't say much wonderful. I just know that I didn't look super duper I mean I I was glancing over a lot. Yes. I was looking like a regular person I want the audience to see my face right now. I'm fucking flabbergast that you look like a regular person No, like a regular fan person. I'm not gonna. You're not a fucking fan I was being a fan that night. Well, the whole point was I wanted to make eye contact so we could say hi. That was it How old are you old enough? So you're 27 I'm asking you questions that I know they have to do it So you're 27 years old. Yes, so it's acceptable for you to look like a fucking 13 year old at a b2k concert But you already know the situation I don't I don't care about it. Yeah, but that's that that No, no, no, no, no back to what I was saying. You reserve the right to look like a complete fucking moron Yes, because you do But so you're a male groupie friend. Did it make you look crazy? Why do you keep? No, it didn't why his back was to us It was if the partition wasn't even the couch like he wanted to be a part of their crew That man is not here to defend himself number one right number two his actions were not Nearly as noticeable. They were way more known. You were just sitting next to me That's no problem how you were able to notice anything else with the way you were behaving. You looked wild My nigga really I didn't know really you did you looked wild uh, ladies and gentlemen you looked wild to the point where Where I had to get up and stand on the couch and whisper in your ear So what is your objective? You did ask me that and you said what I told you my adaptive was my objective was to say hello to say hello To say hi, but the podcasters don't understand why and i'm not going to explain it You're the podcasters. They're listeners. Oh, yeah, sorry. Well, the listeners. Yeah, where the pod Aren't gonna understand The point of that unless I gave those sorry and I don't want to give the whole story But just know there was a point it wasn't like hey random fan. Hey random rapper want to say hi There's more to that there's levels to that story to I can clue I think I can think of a discreet way to give this story But the story makes you look worse If you want me to be honest. Yeah, well, whatever No, let's just leave it. Oh, let's just leave it alone. Let's just talk about the topic Okay, let's do a hypothetical and at the end of the day we said hello. It worked. Let's do what Oh Let's do a hypothetical here. Okay, men to my male listeners are you hypothetically discussing the situation? No, I'm not. I'm off of that. I'm hypothetically just discussing A situation, okay But anyway, uh, oh I'll use me. I'm a rapper, right? Are you sometimes? As a hobby. I love it. It's my passion. It drives me Um, when I'm not doing fucking dickhead more on fan shit Would you stand next to me looking at fucking other rappers? But anyway, I'm a rapper, right? If if a young harlot Are you calling me? I'm not talking about you. You know, am I talking about the situation? In the event that a young harlot were to Text me something something along the lines of Yo, I want you to fucking fuck the shit out of me and suck my dick Are you amazing? You're the greatest rapper in the universe not saying that that's what you did. I'm not even talking about you Okay, because I did that. I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about a situation Okay, and I entertain this right and she came over. Give me the greatest head that I ever got in my life. Okay And then I ceased communication with this person And she was texting me every day She was fucking DMing me on twitter and just letting you guys know this is a hypothetical because this is not my situation DMing me on instagram She was using every fucking viable means of communication to get in touch with me I don't know what and I just ignored it. I don't know what kind of decision for me. Is this your story? Am I? I don't it's a stupid story. It's a hypothetical story but like in reference to what in reference to A relatable incident occurring that the male listeners can identify with and that didn't happen. I didn't say that. Oh my Jesus Christ Didn't say it. Okay, and I so this woman was trying her best to get in contact with me and I ignored her it Completely she never heard from me again. Okay. It would be safe to assume What let me ask you what would it be safe to assume? I don't know if you guessed it that he didn't ever want to speak to this bitch again in life He never wants to see this whole It's over. I've used you for exactly what I wanted to use you for and now Be gone like fucking Patrick's way. He goes. It's over. Right. Would it be safe to assume that safe to assume and I don't know why you gave this random I'm not saying that that's what took place because it's not what happened. So now I have a show in Poughkeepsie And I'm can we stop wait? I'm just Can I just tell a story? I'm tired of your hypothetical story. It didn't happen Or you would be tired of my hypothetical story. Yeah, because because I'm talking real stories Of course, it's not it's hypothetical none of these men can relate to because they're not rappers They don't have shows on Poughkeepsie. Okay, so let's forget about the show on Poughkeepsie I go to a random strip club in Poughkeepsie, right? I'm balling. I throw money in it's brain and I'm the weather man. It's the weather man That's the little way it's on go. It's weather man, right? No, I don't know All right, let's don't do that. I don't know fireman. Oh, there's a fireman song and there's a make it rain. All right Well, whatever I'm doing now. I'm doing all that I'm fucking to make it a rain I'm but money falling from the sky hundreds of fucking Dollars strippers is around me. They want to come home with me. They want to suck my fucking cock And who do I see out of my fucking peripheral? Oh Again, I want to make this clear. This is not the story of what happened with me Of course it isn't but who do I see out of my peripheral? I see shorty Who was fucking obsessed with me? This is not this is not because we have to assume that this woman is obsessed with me If I have ceased communication with her thrown so far. I'm not even talking about you You've backed up and ran over me, but I'm not talking about but I'm not talking about you Oh, oh This you know the word hypothetical. I know exactly what it means because I have the dictionary But you're trying to relate it to my situation. No, I'm not these are two Separate instances. Where did this story come from then joseph? It came from my fucking mind But why what is what is the correlation? I just told you because the male listeners will be able to identify with this, but why do they need to? Because it's my fucking show. All right, keep going. How about that? All right, so the way out of my peripheral I see this woman that is fucking obsessed with me Men what is supposed to happen in this instance exactly am I supposed to like Well, I ask you What should happen? I don't know because this is a hypothetical situation and it's stupid I've never been in this hypothetical situation. So I don't have a hypothetical answer or a real life answer for you I just want to say all right. We'll forget about the story It's this is going on too long. I just want to say that I as a friend of yours was very disappointed I was disappointed in your male friend I'm gonna keep going back to him and and I was disappointed because Um, how do I explain this without sounding on in this in this treeish? Um, these people Are my peers. Oh lord. I get that it may be difficult for you to Um See it that way because you and I are friends. They're my peers too You know, I'm in this industry if you didn't know what that probably makes this a little worse That's why I have my intern sitting in the other room because I have one Because I'm out. I'm out. Yeah. I think that you should conduct yourself a bit better I think you saw it completely differently than I did so sunday came and And I tweeted this you know, you're getting old when When you go out like a few days in a row and then you need time to rest. Oh my god. I needed that too You're 27. Okay. Well, it was a lot of turn up I had just got back from grimy weekend as well. So you have to consider I was turning up for it. Did you have sex at all? Yeah Okay, that may be the difference. Yeah, I didn't I didn't have any um, I didn't have any sex occur this weekend So I really needed to rest on sunday I stayed and I slept like a baby alone. No holes. No cuddling. No nothing No, just me and fucking porn hub and x videos What did happen though, and I mean this may be tma but I'll give it anyway When you you know how the pop-up the pop-ups come up when you go on all these porn sites Oh, yeah, they do, but they usually pop up in the background So I don't ever really yeah, but you know what happens it it pops up in the background and while I'm watching my porn I can still hear the noises random like So it's like you know how the old chinese flicks when the mouth would move but the words would be like it would be It didn't sink at all. Yeah, but that's what would be happening So I I go to close the one in the back And you know they have the ads there and I did go to one of the little sites there They got me. Yeah, but they always like as soon as you click the link, it's like a billion pay for that Yeah, and I got out of here. I got out of there. I didn't fucking beat off to the fucking still picture That was horrible. But anyway, where was I going with this? Um, oh, yeah, so I was resting and I'm doing that I was alone And then a friend of mine hits me and says uh Yo, come to sweet 36 It's a situation. Why don't all your friends use that term? You should talk to them about that Well, you know, it is I I I ask I initiate with the term because if you listen to the song Fab is clearly telling you what a situation. Oh, you know, and I don't want to leave my house unless it's a situation The problem is my friend's Version and definition of a situation is a bit different from mine. Was this Rory that invited? Yep Yep, it was what now for the people that don't know Rory. Rory is fucking 14 years old And he's fucking white with a burgundy beard and like orange and he's fucking he wasn't around when fucking pock died He was learning how to walk like he wasn't like he doesn't you're 27. You should have been around. Yeah Anyway, he's not really 14, but he's young so his version of a situation was a bit different I walk in and it was just nasty. It was a fucking mess I left there and I went to shake shack and I fucking went home and that was my All-Star weekend mine was just like that I Saw a couple booze. I had a little valentine's day cuddle says holy shit. It was valentine's day It was it was and um so you fucked on valentine's day. No, I know it was just a cuddle sash I thought you said you just had I had sex but it wasn't on valentine's day. I said I had all-star weekend sex There was many other days and all-star weekend besides saturday There was friday thursday, wednesday, they they started getting in town on wednesday, so it started from then I don't know. I guess my question is the person that you cuddled with was this the same person that you had sex with no Oh, you're just a fucking cuddle that aren't you? Yeah, I mean we had sex uh in l.a So I don't really want to hear about all your fucking stuff I just wanted like a yes or no like grammy weekend we had sex and then he came out here And I was like, let's just cuddle and then so we valentine's cuddled Oh, wait a minute. So wait valentine's day. I do want to talk about valentine's day really quick It was it was really cancelled. It really was and it was really like even the pictures I thought there were less like gay-ass photos on instagram of like, oh, babe. I'll be honest. I was saddened by this Why I was fucking thrilled. I was a bittersweet. I was happy about it, but it just shows where this society is headed I don't think it's that we were really in the midst of all star weekend It's not like chicks really don't want to be booed up We yes, I do I would love I would rather just cuddle all day and like not go do shit and not go Like not want to toxic Instagram pages to find out where they're going Pop up randomly hoping to say hello. That is not what happened Um, but yeah, no I do I prefer to just be in the house and like cuddle and like cook for them Even though I can't cook but I can make french toast So I'd like to make them french toast and cuddle Very random occurrence. I'm off immersive. I'm tired or very random occurrence You know, New York is very big so What i'm just kidding Is this face-to-face role? Yes So I was on my way here to do this podcast And I was running late And I went and grabbed me a soda and then I was coming and I didn't really care that I was late I stayed outside and smoked a cigarette And I see this out of my peripheral I have a great peripheral. Yeah, apparently out of my peripheral. I see this this gentleman Um He made like he was crossing the street away from me and then he made a hard u-turn once he saw me And i'm thinking it was oh my god. I don't want to talk to this What's what's gonna wrap for me? Yeah, he had he had he had uh uh two gentlemen with him and He comes right in front of me. So I could no longer do my hey. I don't see you. I'm not gonna talk to you He's right in front of my face. Yes, who it is. Yeah, you guessed it. Oh, I didn't know you did. Oh, yeah, safari Oh, shit. Fucking safari. Just now today. Yeah. Just now. Jesus christ. He just walks right up to me Doing good. All safari. He's doing well. Hey sb. He looks like he's taking good care of himself. That's nice. Looks like he isn't really Stressing over his prick up anymore, which I don't really care about by the way Uh, let me tell the listeners that about me. I don't think that they know that I don't really give a fuck about a lot of shit You really don't I don't like if it doesn't pertain to me like it. I just try to like mine my business You do yeah, so me and him talk I let him know that I saw pictures going around in him in the strip clubs him and a couple of my spots he was in heavens. He was in starlets and And he said something That I've never heard any man admit to I'm intrigued. Yes, what he said. You guessed it. Okay. He said That he loves Loves loves big around fake asses Well, that's not shocking at all Uh was shocking to me. No, oh, okay I'm not segueing into any nicky shit. This is isn't a nicky subliminal I'm not what I'm what I'm saying is the fact that he admitted it even if that is true Men don't necessarily admit that so willingly So we said that was a little blown away And then I want to get in his brain a little more and I said, well, well I don't really like that. I'm a contrary to popular belief by the way. No, you do like a natural sis. I like a natural round Fat jiggly jiggly. Give me the little tiger stretch marks on the side Those like those are cute. Um, give me a couple of thumb prints It's a little bit of cellulite. Let me know that your weight is fluctuated from time to time. Right? He was like, no, fuck that And I said, well, maybe it's a fat transfer and he was like, well, no Not really a fat transfer because those you got to get done every so often. I like to see sea shots. Give me put them all in there That was like So I told him I wanted to discuss this with him I was gonna say did he get give you permission to just go on and Be like, hey, so far like big I'm 34 years old I know but I mean like did he think that it was going to be put on blast like that? Did he know that that conversation was going to be I didn't think that me and I were speaking in confidence Okay, well, then that's all the matter. We were on the fucking street for crying out loud and Corey was with you too, right? Yeah, Corey. Hey Corey Um You just fucking threw me off Oh, no, no, no. I told him I wanted to speak them about this Um here on a podcast. Oh, you were gonna bring him up. That would have been phenomenal So we're coming through the door To the stage You may have seen him on numerous block sites You may have heard about him in the soul. Oh, man. Has he been in songs? No, I just I don't know what else to say Um, so so we exchanged information and hopefully before he he leaves new york I will get him on this podcast. He's he live in New York? No, he no longer I edit that out. I don't know if people just want me giving their fucking address out and shit I think it's known that he's based in LA. Oh, he's on he's on like TMZ every week I guess yeah, that makes sense. But that was when he was why does Peter know what's on TMZ every week? Apparently he likes to read that Peter has a few things going on with him that I just really don't understand But I'm not gonna get into it right this second like I walked in the fucking Peter's house to watch how to get away with murder And I had to fight the remote away from him because he was watching like little league baseball like little boys Running around in tights and I was like whoa Did I in a private time here? What? My wife is a sideline reporter asshole. Yeah, but it's much funnier when we don't know that bit of information. I was like wow Pete may have some issues Oh and that hey speaking of that anyway, that's been you're a good segwayer. I just want to tell you that Emma who are because I probably suck at it. I haven't tried it, but I'm just following your lead. Well, you're great. It's sucking I need to get like an applause thing of a jig for when I say like that. Oh, when I say something. Hey, hey, uh, control room men Uh, is there any way I can get a fucking applause thing or something? You couldn't like download or should I just be fucking dry and you should clap yourself No, the move is going to be to to download one of these programs Oh, all right. You're giving too much information to the listeners. All right, dude. Uh, they have to think the applause is real Peter Yes, okay. I guess there's so many people here. So That's just how that goes. Don't be a fucking uh Either way you complimented his segway and in doing so ruined the segway Yes, he did. I was going somewhere Where was I oh Uh, yeah, we were going from Pete being a fucking pedophile in his house watching fucking little boys. Um And we were going to how that is Quite the issue in hip-hop right this very second pet of files. It's called pedophilia Okay, I was gonna say that, but I wasn't exactly sure how to put it. Yeah, no, the word is pedophilia And it's only an issue because uh, tie gun, Kylie Jenner and the girl That's a whole big web of mess. Um, and and this is when I'm gonna go back to uh, Me not caring about shit. Mm-hmm Cause I don't care about that the whole kind uh, Kylie tiger, um Amber, Amber, Chloe Uh, who else is there? Kim. Kim. Kanye. My mom. Your mom I care about your mom. Thank you. She's she's cool If your mom knew how you were behaving at last that night. Oh my fucking cam Was just concerned that it was snowing. That's what she wanted. She wanted me out of there because it was snowing So yeah, I don't really care about all of that, but what I did notice On the timeline because the timeline is taking the place of all news and media outlets. That's where you find out everything now What I did notice Was that all of my favorite hoes Were divided between cloey and amber Well, I don't want to say cloey Because it cloey was more so a representative of car dashy. Oh, okay so And and I want to be clear here So people don't misconstrue what i'm saying because people's interpretation skills are very poor I've learned and I I don't I want to clarify before you people fuck up what i'm saying My conversation right now has absolutely zero to do with amber or cloey Cloey, I've hung out with numerous on numerous occasions and various clubs in new york city. Me too. Hey bestie Really cool girl amber. I'd love to fucking lick her fucking head. I went to dinner with her one. So we're also best friends Um, so yeah, I'm I'm this is an objective conversation that has nothing to do with either of them, but As a man, I do know the same way to hoes love maryland. Um and roll They love the cardagions. I do love me some cardagions, and i'm not a hoe, but yeah That can be hard Um and they love amber rose. I do love amp. Oh, it was bad bitch. It was split down the middle That's how I felt I kind of I was kind of indifferent because it's so like I like them both I get both of their sides I'm gonna just I know we don't care about we don't want to take sides. I just want to talk about the hoes being split Yeah, okay. Go ahead and go back to the hose. Yeah, that was great. They were um They were um, what's the word that I'm looking for? divided I don't know. That's a good word. Okay. Divided Conflicted conflicted is a really good word. Conflicted is the word I was looking for. Yeah, probably better that the rapper come up with the words Instead of I'm a writer. So we're about equal and I also used to rap. Don't forget. Why do you have an intern? Because I mean I do a lot of things I do I write on a lot of different sites. I need to help with the sites I'm putting together a college tour A speaking engagement thing and we have this podcast and I have a lot of different meetings I do brand stuff for different all right. We're not plugging your entire I'm not I'm just saying that wasn't things that I do and this is what I need help with because I'm one human And I can't do it all by myself Oh, that just made you sound like fucking Russell You can't do it all by yourself. I'm just saying aren't you a fucking modern day fucking lee or I'm a fucking mowgul B Oh Mowgul mowg Yeah, whatever, maybe I should get an intern. Oh a little backstory for the listeners up Oh, no, because that's gonna fuck up if that shit comes out I don't you know, what are you talking about right now? You know, I'm talking about no, I don't know about the backstory me and not me you Uh, what you know because you know the thing. Oh, okay. If I talk about the backstory and then the other They just think of this exact the the song where I'm dissing him Okay, yeah I shouldn't do that I guess that's what people mean when they say I don't have a filter Yeah, but even that is filtered. Can we help edit that? No, well, you don't call him a fucking edit Yes, I hope this song never sees the light of day. It will though. It's a great song and if and if that man approves it What's he gonna do fucking rap back against me? What's he gonna do fucking get on the microphone and fucking spew malicious statements my way? No, it will probably come and try to kill me. Oh, we don't care about that Hey, then he wouldn't hey, then you would see him Then you would see him Oh Subject for you All right, all right fine. We'll get off it. We'll get off it. We'll get off it All right, well shit since you're rushing me off of my topic now. You just got to make one up Yeah, I want it to I want it to avoid that entire topic like this entire every podcast and we got right on it right from jumpstream Yep How did we do that? Uh, because I got right to it. Yeah, but you're supposed to protect me and like You're protected. Don't you worry If the other night was any evidence. I don't think this guy knows you're alive Your existence Oh my geez you make it sound like no one cares about me. I have a lot of foods that do care He just made not care Everyone else cares. Yeah, I just be wanting to know I had a long talk with my fucking ex last night, right? Right And to hear you Uh, whoa, whoa That's respect people's anonymity. Oh, yeah, because we really respect in line in that So we're doing now now we have respect and And I mean I don't have but so many x's You have like 14,000. No, I don't know I don't I can count like do it Do it See because that because people like to say things like that a lot like oh my god I could count them right now, and they don't ever expect you to say we'll do with it. Okay. Um, Ronnie Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Wait, whoa, whoa, I'm going back. Are we going back to when I was 15? It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. All right that counts Yes, that's why to Harry. That's two Did you date glory or just fucked her? That glory of a hey glow We're gonna name we're naming glory. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're phoning. That's my ex of mine It does she's tied to you. So that counts. You're tied to me No, but I didn't fucking hop on your dick and ride like a pony. I'm sure she did. She's great Yeah, exactly. So there's Gloria. No, no, wait, you said I had 14 exes. That's what I'm debating right now Okay, I'm not debating the people okay. All right, all right, all right, all right. You got it. You got it You got it. We're so Ronnie to hear you. I don't even think the listeners care about this really they do to hear you Okay, wait, Esther. Do we have to count that? Yes, I was there when she fucking Broke into your home like I've been through Esther Through that'd be a great story for the next pocket. That was it does a great day. That was a fun day Hey, we ever a listeners remind me that oh wait y'all can't remind me of anything. Yes. They can make it to you Oh, there we go Shut the fuck up Peter. Don't make a face behind. I don't even respect you after your little little league Your little league tidbit, but anyway Don't let him forget some iris Wait, yeah, definitely not and I'm denying even ever having penetrated. We saw the videos of me Penetrating her like being Joey and googly. I listeners remind me to tell you about that story Yeah, spider woman. That's what we'll call it. That was a good day. That was amazing. It was me and Connie You weren't even home. Oh, you're giving away All right girlfriends to hear Esther is three. Wait, wait, I'm not counting her. No, Esther fucking counts like fuck She got a whole song. Yeah, that's true. All right, that's true then That girl with the curly hair. I know you don't count it, but it happened. No the girl before Kaitlyn that lasted like six months. Oh That doesn't count. Yes, it's fucking counts. That was your girlfriend. No, it was not. Yes, that was your girlfriend Yes, that was and you guys know it is time to say together. Yeah, pardon me for too Wait, is that the prerequisite for a girlfriend? That was your girlfriend. Let me hey women women my to my women listeners I know y'all are not gonna want to hear this. Hey Pete. How much time are we got here cuz I got something to say we got 15 minutes That's it. Yeah It's been on 45 minutes already, bro. What the fuck have we spoken about about you throw me into the motherfucking bus Yeah, so I need everyone to know that we spent this whole time dissing Marissa and that's our relationship Well, I need everyone to know that that's probably what we'll be taking place every podcast, but women to the women listeners out there. I Know that you guys are hardwired differently from men So let me try to help explain a few things Um, how do we do this without offending people just fucking offend them you already Alright, sometimes men will fuck you and not care about you. I Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that will take place probably multiple times in your life if you're attractive there, okay now That's not for you to be upset at or get offended at Okay, you just got to kind of respect the game. I respect it So now now I'm There's a grand scheme here. Just just follow me. Just follow me. I'm just following now when a man is Fucking you and just wants to continue to penetrate you. Mm-hmm. He may sometimes mislead you I've been down that path recently now, I'm of the mind that if you want to continue to penetrate this person sometimes you will you will create a a What's the word I'm looking for facade? And we can go with that the word I had my head was better you create this facade this false reality This girl that Marissa is referring to with the curly hair That's what that was. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I may have said to her. Hey, you're my girlfriend, but in real life Nah, she wasn't my girlfriend. Yeah, you got a fuck out of here pretty quick. Oh, yeah, I got it. No emotional No, I was I was looking for an exit women Sometimes men will look for an exit Because we don't want to be the bad. We don't want to be viewed as the bad guy even though we really are now If you guys would like more information about that you can remind me later. I'm here to help people be I think I need this help Oh, no, you need a lot more help than that. You need a fucking chastity belt fucking tied around your fucking Fucking badge at all time. But anyway, so we are at Esther Tahiri and Curly hair no, no, we're not counting her so we're at three and Kaitlyn Kaitlyn is four Might be all I got What do you got what about? Oh? Shit No, yeah, I was just suggesting the room. No, that is so that is so yes. Thank you I know there was a room shot in that room. Thank Rory. No, Corey's not even like that. I fucking say there was actually Corey It was actually Corey. I don't believe it. Shout out to you It's my boo. That was my um between her and and Kaitlyn. Those are like my faves of yours. Well, first of all I mean, I love to hear you too. Hey, Terry. I don't know We were ever a Alright, this is what happened you were referring to her as your summer girlfriend in the summer of 20 You go pay perfect and then when I got with my dumbass ex boyfriend at the time who became Who's my boyfriend? You were like, what the fuck Marissa has a fucking Significant other and I don't know and I have to make this my real situation And then you made it your real situation And then you you extended her contract you kept it's talking about extending her contract to the fall And you did and then it kind of just filtered off a little bit and then you know Then you guys went your separate ways and then Kaitlyn came the next summer I don't like that version that is the fucking version. I was there. I was there and you can tell me any different I will attest to that. I will bet my life-saving I'm a pretty non-offensive version I don't like when my business is is oh, but we love when Marissa's is right. Well, my business is sacred in my defense. No But anyway summer was coming Yep And I was doing like a weird reverse thing You know people normally get a situation in the winter time Because I didn't have one in the winter time and because I had one at the penitentiary quite some time I've got a funny story by the way. Hey, remind me about And I Were intimate a long time ago, right? And a long time before the summer way before that answer I was just way before the summer And it was one of those things Where? You know, um, you have to have one you ever meet somebody where you're anxious to for the act to take place Yes, so I may have been all overly anxious And I had a bad night at the gym Had a really bad night you don't go to the gym. No, no, no, no, that's up. That's it. He didn't perform well Marissa Oh my god, I fucking I don't even think I hit the backboard on a lot of these shots I might have been throwing a ball in the fucking stands. This was a really really really bad night for me But I was tired. I mean And I'm a rapper so you can get away with it sometimes, right? Honestly. Yeah, probably so After that horrible. Oh my god. It's I almost all that girl on apology for that night But I don't know where my headspace was because I was unaware You know as men we are we are self-centered so we don't really look it We don't really think about how the women the woman is taking this in So anyway after this bad night at the gym. I may have spent the next nine months Trying to do it again trying to Redeem myself because first of all I don't even give the best dick on the first go anyway I think that's a no-no you give like B minus C plus C plus I would you give my friend? Because she really liked it. I'm not admitting to doing anything. Oh, okay, by the way, who what friend? I don't know what it is. Yeah, the soft friend that we were referring to in the book. Oh my god Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god Oh my god right now Anyways to me hypothetically if I had a friend that I've been best friends with since the first grade That comes around all the time and then we all went to get drunk together Now I'm stopped though because I don't want to throw you into the bus Go on. You may be lose my entire dream. Good. Oh, so I spent the next eight months I didn't even know where's ahead friends by the way, but I have a lot of friends So I spent the next nine moms trying to get back in that pussy Shout out to K-camp. I really do like that. Oh, you owe me some pussy song I don't know it and I do feel like I should have pro you don't know that song No, I feel like I should have came up with that song because I feel like that on many of occasions Give me tight dollar sign You could he sings about pussy. You could probably just play that look what the fuck you do Marissa when you see me doing something. I need you to kind of take over the microphone I'm told you I'm not good at segues. All right, but it's over. I found the song I feel like you owe me that. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I push this is beautiful Nobody feels like you owe them. Okay. Well, look, but anyway, I spent the next eight to nine months Trying to redeem myself and getting that pussy and she was curving me badly. Oh I have a man. Oh, I'm painting my house. Oh, I just bought a Tiger that I'm walking like if they were horrible curves really bad curves So that summer that Marissa speaks of in 2011. It really was one of the best summers ever and I got in that thing again, didn't you did you ever man? Oh, man? Was I Kobe against the Raptors? Whoa was I Kobe with Jalen? Huh? Huh? 80 it was 81. We're two assists. Oh my were you guys alive in 81? Did I beat now 81 points Marissa? Oh, oh, I Beat that thing to a pope All right. Oh, she just a little okay earlier Member, she's not here to defend her. She had like an extra coat of glossiness. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We're doing too much here We're done. Well, no, we're doing too much. No, she fucking laid there helpless and submissive No, well, I walked around. I don't I got up and we got a sandwich Smoke shut up took a drive Point remains anyway, so that was his girlfriend. No, it wasn't so anyway She looked at me and said She said wow do her accent. I don't remember Just mess fantasy. She said no, I can't do it She said whoa, I Would have never thought I would have never thought we would have been able to have that we would have been able to have such amazing sex such amazing sex I always looked at you like the bad dick guy Wait, well first impressions are usually the last thing well, even though I did give her some bad dick as a man It just didn't dawn on me That a woman could look at me that way absolutely there is guys I would never ever answer the phone for again, and then there's guys that you would pop up randomly wherever they say they're gonna be on Instagram So anyway, so well so so yeah, that was my summer boo contrary to popular belief. I don't go around slinging dick You don't I just don't like typically when when I am intimate with someone That is the person that I remain intimate with exclusively Without the title No, you know that that's that's actually that's normally how the these mistake relationships come about Because you end up sleeping with someone that you're just platonic with Consistently and quote unquote exclusively and then that person develops all these fucking feelings and think you're their fucking I mean you because you're like mr. Fucking lover boy. I watch you. I watch you in action I got you she you were very attentive you learn their quirks you learn little things about them You make them feel very special. You're very like in your face You look people in the eye when you speak to them. You're very like grabby touchy. I'm an adult I was raised right you make these bitches full in love and then you wonder why they why well Oh, wait. Oh, I missed a girlfriend. Um the fucking the last bitch on a lee or whatever That was fake. Nope. No, you're not easy for it. So it counts. No, it was still fake. No So we're at so we're at four just so we're clear made up a number right now. No, we're at the number that we said we were Kaylin Esther curly hair. No, we didn't count curly air I don't care anymore, honestly, but four and four 34 year old man That's not bad so I'm unsure about how I got this reputation to be in this big whole ass nigga Because we can name a bunch of other bitches that you just slang dick for no, you can't you can't I could but that's just me Telling on you, but I could could you? Yeah. I know shit. Do it. No, let's see it. Do it. I would do it right now Exactly so Anyway, and now you've ruined my fucking point again good cuz it wasn't pointless Where was that going? It doesn't matter this the show's about to be over now But I was going somewhere here now. We're here. So let's just sign off. I Don't like that sign off. No, I feel like I don't like I don't like I don't like the sign off with a Us having conflicting stories about my number of fucking girlfriends. You have mad girlfriends. No, there was four and no Rapper that's decent looking. I guess if you're looking at you with whoa drunk with one eye closed, so I'm not I'm not rolling with it. I know what that means Peter and fucking London man are giving me the uh the time signal Roy inviting Dominican fours around thinking that he's doing me a favor because I may want to penetrate these women does absolutely nothing for for me at all and I need to explain that to people and Stupid me my Virgo self feels like people should know some of these things without me having to explain them Wait, are you is Roy taking a picture of you and you're trying to look Hey, what are you doing? You look like a fucking nut. It's like I was just trying to have like a thin a thin doll line So I was trying to talk. Oh, oh Man, so wait, so when I was speaking to my ex yesterday, right? We have to go. Oh No, I'm still talking no when I was speaking. It's my show. You don't run shit here No, but you're gonna okay all right So you and your your interviewer intern can you're in turn that you're just not an intern y'all can leave And I can also Berg taught us that it should only be like an hour each time Because I am a teacher like KRS one So anyways Carus one is teacher. Yeah, you probably know that is no I do know because Nelly just a minute song one time is wow That is why you know I know who he is. Oh, and this is the problem with hip-hop today be these young whippers nappers are fucking shit up But we'll talk about for a listener's remind me to talk about that in another time - but anyway real quick before we go before we go Snapple fact right I'm full of stories aren't I while I was talking to my ex yesterday and she was throwing all these fucking Subtle shots at me for being over and not paying her any mind And she was trying to figure out who Bay is because I keep talking about a babe What Bay is never around so now she just laughs at me because I keep calling her and Bay doesn't know that me and her Talk that whatever it's really messy. But anyway, um She said yeah, I saw some picture. I saw some picture Who's your hood Bay Marissa cuz you was bit leaned over tire her shoes You was tying her shoes, and I'm like look at this bitch ass nigga. Hey never tie my shoes So I'm like and my head I was like well, why would anybody anybody knows me knows I would never fuck Marissa But anyway, so in my head I was like maybe I need to explain to people why cuz I didn't know that was tweeted out Yeah, while earlier posted it. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, I'm gonna talk about that I didn't sign off on that one, but anyway before we go. Let me just explain to people in this picture. What was going on? We were walking in the freezing cold Freezing Marissa's timberland was untied. It was a boot Marissa had on what's the shit that women wear when they want to What's the shit that women wear when they want to hold in all the fat and make make men think that they're skinny Yeah, then they really are and then we take them home, and then we're totally shocked that we got some fat bitch in our crib Oh my god, I didn't say you are okay, but because we got some fat bitch in our crib That looks nothing like what we kicked it to in the first place a fat house So would you stop describing it what's it called a faha faha if I think you should be wearing anything called a faha You're fucking white even though your last name is Mendez you are white no You are I'm mixed Anyway, so Marissa had this faha on and it was so tight that she couldn't bend over So when she said hey, I have to tie my shoe, but I can't but know we're gonna have one of five and sucking over And she had me in the blood can't move Mm-hmm. I was the good friend and I bent over and tied her shoe And then like the backstabbing fucking cunt. She is, I didn't take up a chair. She fucking says, yo take a picture This right now. We're gonna tweet it out. Look this bitch. I think a bit over time. I shoot like I can't help people So that will be the last that will be Last time. Oh listen. I am I may embellish you a little bit for the sake of the story I love that but that will be the last time that we ever Time and risks a shoe and it will be the last time that we ever go to the strip club with Marissa that other rappers are going to be And it's gonna be a lot of last times with Marissa and I thank you Joe Um, I had a wonderful show you did we did this was great. This was wonderful. It's gonna flew by it did It's almost like a therapy session when you want to keep talking to them and then like you can't it's like Seinfeld It's like a podcast about nothing People who are listening on SoundCloud should be searching for the podcast on iTunes so they can subscribe there It'll be available on iTunes shortly. Okay. Should I say that or was it fun saying it? I think you should I think you should now say okay, the Yeah, for the people that want no for the people that are listening to this on SoundCloud You should also search this on iTunes because it will be up shortly and you can subscribe and all things us It's not us my name is me and it's you. Oh, that's not nice. It's not we're not a tandem. We are no We should like a photo shoot together and then like some back-to-back. Oh, you got it like from the 90s kind of like yeah Well, I'll have a lot of sagging like you fucking have a American Ashley also. Oh my Jesus. Anyway, that's disgusting Listen, this was great. This was real. I want to thank all you beautiful people out there. I had a blast Okay, this is not a Grammy speech. Oh And let me just say the one time that I was nominated for Grammy. Oh was I fucking robbed? I was my first album. All right story time It was my first album. I was so proud to be nominated and these fucks pitties and the nominees are Joe button Eminem 50 said Jay-Z anyone else that's way more amazing than Joe fucking Barbara Streisand Everybody with now, I had no shot of winning that thing I'd take my fucking nomination and strive you ever been nominated for anything the answer's no One-time one a layup contest. There's not a head award All right, that was funny. It was not funny. I'm all right fine. We're gone. Good night one [laughs] [ Silence ]