The Howie Carr Radio Network
Mystery Biden Theater 3000: Biden's (Highly Exaggerated) Time with the Norbertines | 5.8.24 - The Howie Carr Show Hour 3
This podcast is brought to you by the Eden Pure Thunderstorm. Bogo is back for one week only. Buy one and get one of the Eden Pure Thunderstorm free. Order at Edenpuredeals.com, code word Howie Bogo. [MUSIC PLAYING] Better strap yourself in. It's time for the Howie Car Show. She entered wearing all black as if on her way to with you. The loose, fitting, plain black clothing, draping from her shoulders to her toes, suggested the modesty of a nun. A delicately beautiful face, and a body that could never cheese sandwich across the room. Embrasts that seem to say, hey, look at these. She reminded me of my mother all right, no doubt about it. Live from the Matthew's Brothers Studios. But the cross-exam-- boy, her responses were disastrous. I'm so numb, I just hate him, I hate him, I hate him. That's a big deal. When the witness hates the person whose liberty is a stake, that's a big damn deal. She was trying to get Trump-- I actually thought there was a motive there. She said she hates him. She said she'd like to see him in prison. I think she was purposely throwing out this stuff to make sure the jury were prejudiced, particularly the women jurors, but probably half of the men too. Rump swabs, hacks, and moon bats beware. It's Holly Carr. 844-542-4274 says, tell the father of the five-year-old to contact Home School Legal Defense Association, excellent organization to help with all things homeschooling and parental rights. 844-542-4239, you should see if you can get free coffee at one of the illegal alien hotels. No thanks. No thanks. I can afford to buy my own. All right. By the way, we have a couple of good cheap bastard deals going this afternoon. Go to howaycarshow.com and click on store. Maria's Ristorante in Portland, Maine, the great Italian restaurant on Congress Street, where I was born, where Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was born, where they have great eggplant Parmesan. And those are $50 gift certificates for $25. We also have Aviva Trotteria. It's the great Italian chain in Massachusetts and I think New Hampshire now. And that's where we're having Grace's birthday party on May 31. Come on down. It's in Hanover, Grace's birthday party May 31. And get your reservations now. Anyone who spends more than 20 bucks at Eevee Trotteria, we'll get a free copy of Paper Boy, read all about it, my new book. And here's the thing about Aviva Trotteria. I'm holding up a gift card right now on the social media. It's a gift card that's not only good for Aviva Trotteria, it's good for the 110 grill. So a lot of people get disappointed when they don't get a 110 grill gift card. But we have a lot of them today. We've sold a ton of them already, but there are some left. So get on board right now. You can get just-- if you buy the gift card to Aviva Trotteria, it's also good at the 110 grill. And again, check out Maria's Ristorante as well, if you go at the Portland-- Would you swipe that gift card from? The mailroom manager just gave it to me. She's just giving out gift cards? No, she gave it to me. This is a prop. I've got to make-- It's got to go back. We've got to go in for that safe return. It's wearing-- do you notice it's wearing an ankle bracelet? My eyes are not leaving it. So she can track it down after the segment is over. But here it is. 844, 542, 42-- no, I didn't make off with it. She gave it to me as a prop. 844, 542, 42, 781. Howie, a nice thunderstorm is moving across the state and you should visit the jihadi jamborees in Boston and give them a much needed bed. I just heard that. Boy, that was an amazingly loud clap of thunder. I could hear Roscoe whimpering and going under a table. Even I could feel it. I could feel his fear and trembling. I can only imagine those rotten hippies at the MIT and in Harvard Yard and everywhere else. 844, 542, 42, time now for the chumpline. [MUSIC PLAYING] Sure cancel the exams and then wait three years until the night before commencement to point out to them that they're not graduating because they never took the exam. They all have forgotten all about it. Dream on. Dream on. I remember that when they canceled the exams at UNC in 1970 and said, this is great. I'm going to have a 3/8 for this semester. 4A's and a B. I don't think I would have lasted it but I had to go through the exams. And I still remember it all these years later. I don't think the kids today will remember that long because they have such a more powerful type of weed than was available in North Carolina in 1970. I hold in my hand the last time below. Kristi Noem, Taylor Cormier, Catherine Gregg's sister. Name three people who should never dog sit Roscoe. You know, in case you don't know who Catherine Gregg's sister was, her twin sister. When they went on the lamb she and Whitey, they gave the two miniature French poodles, little beautiful black French poodles. They looked exactly like Frisky to Catherine Gregg's sister-in-law. She put him down. She put him down. You wouldn't trust me? You weren't speaking very highly of canines. Roscoe's OK. He's one of the good ones. He's OK. He's black like those French poodles that she put down, Nikki and Gigi were their names. And by the way, you know, and she would blame the feds because they got her on a pen register. She was taken calls from her sister who was on the lamb. And so she was sentenced to house arrest. So I guess she claimed she couldn't keep the dog. She couldn't keep the dogs, take them out for walks, and take care of them. So sorry, Nikki. Sorry, Gigi. I guess I don't have a problem so much with dogs as I do with dog people who regard their dogs as God. Do you think Nikki and Gigi should have put down? What was the matter with them? She couldn't take them out because she was under house arrest. No, they shouldn't have been put down. Yeah. You've never seen the pictures unless they were going to squeal. They weren't rats. They were dogs, miniature poodles. You've never seen the pictures of-- I've seen some dogs that are very similar looking to rats. Whitey and Catherine used to walk up around that on Castle Island. Today's chump line is brought to you by Jake Rooney's on the curve in Harwichport. Open year round with seasonal favorites for family fun food and entertainment. It's Jake Rooney's in Harwichport, the exclusive home of the Stone Grill Diner. Deader. Online at jakeroonies.com. 339 says, "Send some body watch in Lufus, the Harwich art." They would come in handy right about now. It's going to be-- kids, it's going to be worse than the sprinklers, man. But get your weed undercover, man. Joe Biden wants to know if Governor Holkle thinks that Bronx children are as bright and as talented as white children. Boy, is she stupid. That's as dumb as anything Biden has ever said. But then she's probably as dumb as anything as Biden or Kamala Harris. Stop the gaveling. Stop the gaveling. Who's gaveling? Who's gaveling? Stop the gaveling. Get me makeup. I look like crap. Is that a prop card the same way Baldwin had a prop card? Yeah, this is a prop card, but it also could be used. Although I'm never going to find out about it. It does have a cash value on it. It's good. Again, how we car show.com, click on store. And the Viva Trotteria gift cards are also good to the 110 grill. And don't forget Maria's Ristorante. Well, you're there. Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie issued a statement opposing anti-Semitism and hunger strikes. Yeah, whatever else you say about Christie, he's never been involved in a hunger strike. And I bet if he were still the governor of New Jersey, if called upon, he would be willing to use his state police car to make an emergency delivery to the Tiger Inn, or wherever the hippies on the Princeton campus are hanging out today. Best thing to do with these is hunger strike Nazis. Get a bunch of friends and get them Kentucky fried chicken and pizza and go there and stand in front of them and eat it and just go, mmm, delicious. You've got to play that cut again, Taylor. It's so heartwarming. OK, we don't have time. OK, we'll take it in a little bit. We'll play the cut again. Just when you thought this judge couldn't get any worse, now he's warning Trump that he had better not curse. This trials a zoo led by a kangaroo, and everything he's done so far has been perverse. [BEEPING] Yeah. You know, I hope he's done something wrong. And I hope it's easy to figure out. And I hope they can go after him. If they can go after Trump, you know, it's all bets are off if Trump gets back in. You know, we just want the Democrats to be treated like Republicans. That's all. The way Lawrence O'Donnell was describing Stormy Daniels in court today, I got the impression that he watches a lot of her movies over and over and over again. Officer Mark said, you know, there is a-- I guess there is a subgenre known as "none porn." I'm not familiar with it. But it did sound like he was familiar with that certain type of film that comes out of the San Fernando Valley. Ollie, Donald Wright calling, hey, I can't believe you're really against those young whippersnappers protests when you yourself did the same thing when we were at Deerfield. You and that wimp Johnny Guth are always protesting against mandatory sports because you got headaches. We wanted to throw Gordon Guth are and Howard the Coward into the Jamfield River. But at last, you were always shouting your yearbook quote, I'm telling you, you nabby pimpy milk shop. None of that is true. We did both go to Deerfield Academy, but we were not contemporaries, to say the very least. He's like over 90 now, the former Lieutenant Governor of the Commonwealth. Hey, RFK Jr. That's why you don't eat the worm at the bottom of the bottle of Big Eel Us. [BEEP] You know, again, I don't think he's a bad guy now, but he had a very troubled childhood and young adulthood. And I think that the fact that he was having brain fog and losing his memory, probably the first cause you wouldn't associate with a worm inside his brain, you would associate it with, well, you know, he goes to a 12-step program now to deal with what he was doing back then. I trust the Canton police about as much as I trust OJ. Oh, at least one of them knew how to find the real killer. [BEEP] Yeah, I was surprised the Canton police didn't do better in yesterday's poll as the organization you least trust. I think it's just-- the trial is still in its early stages. It would do be different in three or four weeks. [MUSIC PLAYING] [BEEP] That was your last Chumpline message. Thank you for calling Howie Carr. You chump. All right, that's it for the Chumpline today. The Chumpline is the recorded voicemail message service of the Howie Carr show. You can call and leave a message at any time between the hours of 1 and 4 PM Eastern time. Every weekday, the Chumpline number is 844-542-442, 844-542-442. Press 2 for the Chumpline, leave your message. We may or may not play it at this time each weekday. If you didn't hear your message or you just like to hear a second brand new Chumpline, we have one of those. With all the messages, we didn't have room or time for. It's called Chumpline. It's posted every weekday evening around 7 PM Eastern, where it get your chop chumps, the second Chumpline of the day, wherever you get your Howie Carr show podcast. Today's Chumpline is brought to you by Jake Rooney's on the Curve in Harwichport. Open year round with seasonal favorites for family, fun, food, and entertainment. It's Jake Rooney's in Harwichport, the exclusive home of the Stone Grilled Dinner. Online at jakeroonies.com. Hey, R.F.K. Jr., that's why you don't eat the worm at the bottom of the bottle of the kilo. [LAUGHS] 844-542-42. I'm Howie Carr. Did you know that between hosting a four-hour radio show, multiple media hits, political advocacy, and walking Roscoe the Wonderpug-- I call it a dog. --how he still finds time to write three columns a week? Oh, wow. Read his latest at HowieCarShow.com. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] He's Howie Carr. This one? One left, the Viva Trotheria. But there's still plenty of Maria's Rosthorante. They only get one location, but it's a great, great location in Portland, Maine. Check it out at HowieCarShow.com, how we sold out. We're now sold out. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. But again, Maria's Rosthorante. It's a great, great place. Wish I had some right now. I wish I had some sauce right now, actually. We're all out of that, too. Are you sure there's not still some on the shelf in there? There may be one left. It's the hot sauce. Oh, it's good. Well, I'm giving you the hot sauce then. I think I've already got a couple at home. I want to-- I prefer the sweet sauce. But anyway, it's all great. Everything in Maria's Rosthorante is great. Today's poll question is brought to you by local silver mint located in Ware, New Hampshire. Silver Dave will work with you directly. Contact him at localsilvermint.com. Taylor, what's the poll question? What are the results thus far? Today's poll question, which you can vote in at HowieCarShow.com, is what's the best description of a pro-Nazi college boy riot on campus? A Sharia shindig, a fatwa festival, Hezbollah hallelu, jihad jamboree, hippie hootenanny, rafah rush week, Arab spring break, or gaza gala. I'm going to go with jihad jamboree, still with it. But halal belu is pretty damn good. And halal belu-- You've already used halal belu. You can't use it in another one. But it's halal. I mean, I'm just saying that those are good-- Those are good right in candidates here, late-- About halal holdouts. That's good, too. They're all good. Again, there are no wrong answers here. Go ahead. So what is what's winning? 39% say jihad jamboree, 17% say Arab spring break, and 12% for Hezbollah hallelu. All right, 844, 542, 42. Marcy, you're next with HowieCar. Go ahead, Marcy. Oh, Howie, I just wanted to encourage parents to give homeschooling a shot. All they have to do is to start-- I would encourage them to get in contact with their local homeschoolers group. And because it's very flexible, the kids are not-- Your kids are not at your house necessarily every day, or for hours and hours. We cooperate with the other parents. And when my kids were homeschooled, my kids went to one parent's house for math, another parent's house for history on a different day, and science at someone else, and they were English at my house. And we had science fairs and field trips, and it was great. And the kids got way better education in the college admissions offices know it. I also wanted to suggest a book. There's a book called The Teenage Liberation Handbook. And it really motivates kids to take control of their education, their learning. It's a good book. Teenage Liberation Handbook? The book, yes. OK, again, it's-- you worry about the socialization, though, Marcy, we don't have much time left. But do you realize-- No, not at all. They had better socialization, because they're with their peers, and they're with all the other homeschoolers all the time. That's better socialization than being in the crowd control institution. Thanks for the call, Marcy. I'm Howie Carp. [MUSIC PLAYING] Live from the Matthews Brothers Studios-- 844, 542, 42, extravaganza. I like that. That's a good way. There are so many good suggestions today for what to call the hippie encampments. Only today, with the band of thunderstorms moving through New England, we can call them wet. Soaked. This summer, I hear the drumming. Four soaked in Harvard Square. 844, 542, 42, Frank, you're next with Howie Car. Go ahead, Frank. Howie, you worked over at Boston College back in 1981 there. I was running a shop over there. And the crucifixes came down when the government started putting the tax money into the college. Really? Yeah. That's when they were removed. That's what I was told by the steward who was there 20 years. He said, that's-- Yeah, but they came back, because my kids went there long. They weren't even born in 1981. And they weren't every classroom. Right. So in other words, the crucifixes have been under pressure of one form or another, whether from the woke faculty or from the government. In '81, that would have been-- well, I guess that would have been at the time the Department of Education had just been founded by put in place by Jimmy Carter. And Ronald Reagan could never get rid of the Department of Education. He got a lot done, but he could get rid of the Soviet Union, but he couldn't get rid of the Department of Education. What does that tell you about the deep state, Frank? [LAUGHTER] You're absolutely correct. I never thought about it in those terms before. But there it is, you know? I was-- it was pre-fluity, so the college was-- didn't have a lot of money. But one of the-- I was a shop manager there, like, right? And one of the guys in the shop, he commended. He was part of the privilege class. Yes. No, and he actually commended an hour later than the 11 other guys who were in my shop. So I asked him, still what? I said, like, why did this guy show up an hour later and work an hour after everybody else? I said, I'm on salary. I said, I've got to stay an hour after work, bit, every night for this guy. And he said, well, he's part of the protective class. And he could cause a lot of trouble in the fall. Yeah, yeah, I know, Frank. Even back then, there were different rules for different folks. Thanks for the call, Frank. Patrick, you're next with Howie Carr. Go ahead, Patrick. Now, according to the story Daniel's interview that she did on network television, she said that Trump promised her that a slot on The Apprentice, which I think was the number one show on television at the time. So that's one reason why she's so bitter because she's still cold dancing instead of being on network television. Well, I think Patrick, according to her testimony or the way I read it anyway, he said, you'd be a good contestant. He couldn't really promise anything. And even then, you would say, yeah, that's probably a long shot to get a-- to basically get a hooker on national TV. And then he called her back-- according to her testimony, the way I read it, he called her back later and said he couldn't work it out, which probably wasn't in the cards to begin with, Patrick. But yeah, she's angry for any number of reasons. Well, he's called her horse face, too. And she said, well, he started it. Yeah, they like little kids, 844, 542, 42. Scott, you're next with how we car. Go ahead, Scott. OK, how are you living in Kenny Bond? I want to give a big thumbs up for Maria's restaurant, the first thing. It is a great place. It's fabulous. The big stuff, Attic, is my favorite. Yeah. Anyway, my comment is on the boy scouts. They take the word boy out. So that's Walt, that's D-I-M. I know. And girls can join the boy scouts. But if you read further in this whole thing, girls-- I mean, boys are not allowed to join the girl scouts. And the leader of the girl scouts said that's because girls do better by themselves. And all I can think about is if you mix the two, you'd end up with groundies. Oh, stop it. That's all I get. Stop it. 844-542-844-542-542. Girls do better with girls. How come that doesn't apply for athletics? How come it's better if you have males-- excuse me, trans women competing with girls. 844-542-42-- I want to play some of these Biden cuts. He went to Racine, Wisconsin today. And he delivered remarks on investing-- on his investing in America agenda, investing in America. It sounds great. They've destroyed the word investing. Investing means public sector squandering money. That's what it means. Cut, too. [INAUDIBLE] What union is that? [INAUDIBLE] LCI. That's a new one on me. I'm an aftersag member myself. What does LCI stand for? Cut three. Hate administration promised a $10 billion investment by Foxconn. An invexment. A dollar indexment. I'm vexed by that word. I've never heard that word before. It's vexing me. Trying to understand it. Cut four. In just four years under his administration, instead of creating 13,000 jobs in Racine, my predecessor and 1,000 manufacturing jobs, rather than creating 1,000 manufacturing jobs left for his team, 85,000, 583,500 total jobs left Wisconsin during my predecessor's term. Can we quote you on that, Mr. President? Billions, a trillion, $700 billion. Could he have possibly screwed up any more numbers than that? Let's hear that one again. In just four years under his administration, instead of creating 13,000 jobs in Racine, my predecessor and 1,000 manufacturing jobs rather than creating 1,000 manufacturing jobs left for his team, 85,000, 583,500 total jobs left Wisconsin during my predecessor's term. 21 seconds I counted five screw ups, maybe more, depending on how you count on my yes. Cut five. Microsoft, as the President already pointed out, is investing $3.3 billion to build a new data center here in Racine. That's going to help operate one of the most powerful artificial intelligence systems in the world, and I've gone around the world, literally, not figuring a meeting with the leading architects of AI. What could Joe Biden possibly have to discuss if he did, in fact, go literally not figuratively around the world with the leading architects of AI? I'm questioning whether or not we should tell the long story of a theology professor who-- We definitely have to, but before we do. I'll end by telling you another quick story. We don't know what he really means, but just what you say next. Think about what you think about. We only know he's a president, but that you need to work flex. What's what's going on here? It's Mr. Read Biden, Peter, $3,000. Don't do that self-depressure. Oh, I guess there's no need to introduce this. It's all going to speak for itself, or misspeak for itself. Cut one. I went to Catholic High School in Delaware, taught by the Norbertine priest from St. Norbert's College. There's a little team called Green Bay. Now, here's a deal. We were the only high school in Delaware that overwhelmingly rooted for Green Bay. Not a joke, I'll tell you why. Every single Sunday, not only they have great teams at the time, still do, but not only that. My theology professor at the Catholic School I went to was a guy named Riley, last name. And he had been drafted by the Green Bay Packers. And he decided to become a priest before that, so he didn't go. But every single solitary Monday that Green Bay won, we got the last period of the day off. Now, we Catholics call that indirect bribery, but it worked. That was certainly a fascinating story. How many people do you know that have claimed to have been drafted by a team, or they were almost signed as free agents by a team? I did create an alternate version of that story. I went to Catholic High School in Delaware. Buzzam, Buzzam Frog, born on the shores of the Euro-Lava River in Rapala. Taught by the Norbert team priest from St. Norbert's College. Coppola, Husky, Jerks, brought me to Slimy Slug, South Dakota, up there by Timber Doodle. My theology professor is a guy named Riley, last name. This is Emko Brothers, Smithwick, and Salty Dog Shrim. Same thing. I know it is. It is. You know what a theology professor's favorite TV show was? The Life of Riley, of course. Of course. Starring first, Jackie Gleason is Riley. Right. And then William Bendex, 844, 540, 242, 978 car. We need to fact check Biden on that whole AI thing. If Trump ever gets to debate him, he should ask him exactly who he met that were leaders in AI from around the world. Yeah. Well, he was drafted after he became a priest, says 86. Yeah, he became a-- yeah, that's a good point, too. I think he was drafted, then he decided to become a priest. OK, do we have any fact check whether there's anyone named-- His last name, Riley. Right, right, last name. His last name, his last name? Well, you know where he went to college? I mean, the drafts were more informal than they are now, but we should be able to find out who this guy was, right? I mean, what high school did he teach at? And we know where he went to college, supposedly. Who knows, 844-542-42, I'm Howie Car. The Howie Car Show will be right back. [MUSIC PLAYING] Howie Car is back. [MUSIC PLAYING] I'm trying to tell you what I'm about to tell you. Destroy your faith in the honesty and clarity of dementia Joe Biden's memory. Biden falsely claims his Catholic school teacher was drafted by Green Bay Packers during a Wisconsin appearance. Come on, man. At least he named a team that actually existed when he was in high school. He could have just said he was drafted by the Jacksonville Jaguars. President Biden blurted Wednesday that one of his childhood Catholic school teachers was drafted by the Green Bay Packers an assertion disproven by a simple check of publicly available NFL records. These are facts. Check them out. The facts have only drafted a single person with the last name Riley Riley. Any way to spell Riley, since the NFL began its annual college draft in 1936. Does that include R-Y-L-E-I-G-H? R-Y. I've seen it spelled that way. First name, though. The only guy they've ever drafted is the Packers. His name Riley is a University of Colorado quarterback Maurice Tex Riley in 1947. I'm going to say a guy named Tex in 1947 is probably not going to end up. Is it 47 or 37? Well, it says 47, actually. One-- let's see. They may have put this out so fast. It says 47 in the story. You print that out for me. But I think someone else is reporting. It's 37. His education was interrupted during World War II. This is according to an article in the Denver Post in 2002. Biden previously told a different version of the Packers story describing how archmere academy's headmaster, father Justin E. Denny, would dismiss students early in celebration of Packers victories. I remember he was lying about his football career. Well, most recently about how he did in the scoring. He was second in the state in scoring, he said. Turns out he was fifth in the state and fifth in his conference. And I'm going to guess that his conference was not the premier football conference, considering it was a Catholic school. That would be my get. I could be wrong. I could be wrong. But I don't think so. 844-542-774. Can you imagine if Trump lied about a man of the cloth? Morning Joe would be talking about it with the racist Reverend Al for three days. Yes, exactly. Happy V-E day. Yeah, that's happy V-E day. Yep, this was the end of the war in Europe. Roger, you're next with Howie Carr. Go ahead, Roger. Hi, Howie. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. My story has nothing to do with the Biden battle. But it has to do with education. I went to a Catholic high school in the '70s. And the librarians-- Was your theology teacher drafted by the Packers or the Detroit Lions or the Chicago Bears perhaps? Maybe one of the nuns. No. But the librarian's sister, Lucides, would go through the National Geographic with her scissors. And she would remember the scantily bad, you know, natives and things. Yes. So she would go through and carefully crop the National Geographic. Wow. So it wouldn't be an occasion of sin. So anyway, I just thought it was in contrast to today, you know, which-- you remember that expression, "We come a long way, baby." Yes. Yeah, it's sort of like, well, I think it's been mostly down here. Yeah, it has been. There's no question about it, Roger. National Geographic, yeah. That was a big-- if you couldn't get your hands on a Playboy, you wouldn't put the National Geographic's. Thanks for the call, Roger. Heather, you're next with highway car. Go ahead, Heather. Hey, I'm like Roger. I was calling in for something else. But after hearing about that Babylon idiot, my mind is just all jambles. Yeah. I went to-- what are my teachers? One of my teachers was briefly a place kicker for the eagles, or supposedly he was. His name was Don Burdick. He was the best drop kicker I ever saw. But I hesitate to even say that story, Heather, because I don't know if I can back it up. Don Burdick, B-U-R-D-I-C-K. Go ahead, Heather. Yeah, so what I called for was I relate to the woman who called in the four o'clock hour about attending school committees and having a couple kids and just being on top of things. And I do that same thing here up in Maine. And if you've got to be involved, you've got to have your eyes open. And there's a lot of people that have a lot of opinions. But they don't have the guts to speak up. And sometimes I run my mouth a little bit, but I hope that-- How do they treat you, Heather? How do the elected school committee members treat you very quickly? Oh my god, I'm garbage. That's-- I don't mean to laugh. I'm not surprised, though. Thanks for the call, Heather.