[Music] Welcome to Drinking Bros. Presented by ghostbed.com Sit back, relax it, grab a fucking drink. Drink! Yeah, welcome to Drinking Bros, kids! Today on the show, we've got a secret agent man, secret agent man! Bill Thompson, are you a secret agent man? No, I think he's talking about you. No, Bill, I'm not. I'm not. Put that mic about an inch from your face real quick for me. There you go. We're gonna get into this today. We're gonna get dark today. I asked Dan what you did last week and he was real goddamn shady about it. He just said he does a bunch of tech stuff for the government. No, not for the government anymore. Used to, but not even used to. And then now you're doing some secret shit. I walked in, you were already on a computer, already on our Wi-Fi in the back. I don't know what the fuck is going on here. Is my bank account gonna be empty by the end of the show? No. Okay, but you're safe. All right. You're the CEO of Spartan Forge. I am. Also, it says here the chief DEI officer of the company as well. How many black people work for you? Zero. Wait. Get him out of here. We've got, we've got some like pro staffers we work with who are black, but. Okay. Okay. What is a black person? Do better. What is a black person? Do better. Yeah, I would. Somebody should have asked you Brown Jackson that. Yeah. What is a black person? You don't know what a woman is. What about a black person? Do you know what that is? Yeah. I'm one of my engineers. He's from PA. He's a little loose on the wrists. I think he identifies as a black guy. He identifies as a black guy? Loose on the wrist. You mean gay lord? He's gay. He's a homosexual man. I didn't say it. You did. Well, yeah, yeah. I sure did. I'll say it again. Well, that or he's just a really good golfer. You got to have. I thought it was all on the hips though. It's both. Chub's Peterson said it was all on the hips. Yeah, it's both. It's both. R.I.P. R.I.P. to Chub's dude. Yeah. That was my best. In the movie. Yeah. That was my best performing reel of all time. When he died, I did a reel on my personal Instagram about that movie inspiring me to join the military Carl Weathers and Predator. Really? And it had like one point four million views on my little shitty 1000 follower Spartan Forge account. I'm sorry, not Spartan Forge personal account. I'm a shitty personal account. Like millions of views. What was it about that movie? Was it all the dudes? Greased up. Well, that but also the vascular biceps. Yeah. Kitova here. Dammit. Dylan. You son of a bitch. This is with the CIA. Got you pushing too many pencils. Anyway, yeah. Joel's a big Schwarzenegger fan back there. He does a good Schwarzenegger as well. Let's hear it. We can have your dueling Schwarzenegger's. Joel, you're gonna have to come up and do it, all right? Come over here. I'm going to take my Schwarzenegger. I'm going to punch it through you. Come down to the mic and let's have a conversation between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Arnold. My wife says my accent is 30% of the reason why she married me. I understand that. The Arnold one or just your normal one? Lots of them. I do a lot. Do you do it in the bedroom? Of course I do. Do you climaxes, Arnold? It's like getting pumped. It's like I'm coming. Kitova here. We had a super fucked up guest one time and the show was lost. I was like, fuck this. Let's go. And I was asking her about having sex with Leonardo DiCaprio. And I'm like, you know, if you guys do have sex, he only has sex in character as Gilbert grape. So he's fully retarded when he has sex. And he's gonna look here. His name was Gina. And I'm always gonna say is, she was so appalled that I did it 18 more times throughout the show. Oh, I have to watch that after this. And it's part of me and Dan's favorite. Like, I don't read the comments or anything. Occasionally if I have to screenshot one for advertisers, I will. One of the comments was the one that I caught was like, why does Ross do that like 18 times in a row? It's because it makes Dan laugh. And that's a that's a tough feat. It's impossible. The only other time I got him to laugh like that was in an airport one time. And I was few drinks deep. And I just kept saying milky white tits is like, but I dragged it out for like 40 seconds. And other people could hear and all that other shit. And he broke. He's not even cracking a smile right now. You know what I was he ticklish? One of our no, I'm not one of our a sketch. I'm not gonna rope anybody else into this because it's damaging. But a sketch that I really want to do is a woman with a really bad stutter. She's also super racist. So she keeps trying to say the N word, but she can't get it out. She never finishes the end. Which Edward? The one that you can't say. Oh, you are. Got you. Hard. Oh, you are. I didn't even know there's a thing to my son told me. Really? Like, yeah, like the kids in the school won't get big trouble for saying it with an A. But if they apply they are, they're all like that's. I wouldn't even say the A at this point. Yeah. Why risk it? No, no, I'm just saying like that is the unforgivable sin. Oh, yeah. Same with the show. We could say anything except for that word. That's interesting. Yeah. I can talk about Hitler. I can talk about fucking which one though. Dave? Yeah, Dave Hitler. The one who didn't get the credit he deserved. Well, he got he got no credit. That's the friend Dave Hitler. Yeah. Hey, Joe, we told you to come on down and grab the mic. I don't think Joe exists. Get over here. What do you hear it? Joe, come down right now. Man, he's so mad that he's got to actually get up right now. Slow bears are what we call him in the office. That's hilarious. I got a story about slow bear after this podcast. Yeah, let's take too long. I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. Let's talk about your early career though, like for real. So, dance at all your shit. Where you going? Get back over here. I mean, I supported Secret of Operations. I would say what I was the guy always with. I took my glasses off for this because I wanted to look like cool. But I was always the guy who showed up with like glasses with tape around the corner and hey, guys, I think the bad guys in there. And then guys like Tim Kennedy or other people would go in and kill everyone. Right. And then I'd go in afterwards and be like, I need that computer. Can someone move that body? I need that phone. Is that how it works? A lot of times, yeah. No shit. I was always curious who runs in and grabs like the electronic devices and all that stuff. It was me for a while. Joe, stay there. Grab a microphone. He's not even wearing shoes anymore. Oh God. Are you barefoot today? He's got that sweet cream shirt on. That is a pretty dope. Barefoot at the Olive Garden. What's going on here? It's how are you? I have a few questions. It's going to be good. What's the matter with you? It looks like your biceps and your triceps are a little scrawny today. I don't work them equally. I'm worried about my crotch like you. Yeah, you have a huge jock. That's pretty cool. Johnson, like Michael Johnson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I heard about that guy. I bet he's got a microphone. Mike Johnson. Not the best. People say to me, I don't say to them. Frankly, your Schwarzenegger's just okay. No, it's pretty good actually. It's pretty good. I have a hard time saying his last name though. I've never done impressions or told people that I can do impressions until right now because of how comfortable Dan makes me. Well, he does that to people. He's got that effect on people. Yeah. I'm a lot of people's muse actually. Yeah, that's true. Well, the first time I met him, I asked like a common person between us like afterwards. I'm like, is he always like that or does he just fucking hate me? No, that's that's that's the typical question. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And they were like, well, both. Both. But it's both equally. Yeah. She's actually back there. Oh, Danica asked. Yeah. Oh, Danica girl, fucking, we did go with man. Danica's been on the show before. And she's the one, by the way, for the audience and the audio listeners who took us to her hometown, went out of the way to take us to her hometown to show us where she had killed like three people. And I all I wanted was coffee. And it took me an hour and 40 minutes to get coffee. And the meantime, she took us to her fucking hometown. I was like, Oh, this was so and so died and so and so died. And I was like, it was like the only the only coffee between here and Notre Dame, we're in Chicago, is this place where and then we're okay. So we're heading there. And then all of a sudden it turned into, you know, somebody was murdered there. Yeah. And she kept talking about it like it was somebody else. But you know how that goes. We're the bodies. Yeah. And now that you know, and now I know that you've seen dead bodies. Yeah. I continue to see them. Yeah, I know you do. I know you do. How long are we in the military for? Oh, 21 years. Jesus Christ. So you got you got, you know, the full pension and all that fun shit, huh? Yes. Okay, great. Yeah, I did. And how many dead bodies you see there? I don't know. A fair alliance share. What are you talking about over a grand? Are you on a ground it? I'd say I'm in that wheelhouse. Okay. No, no, not a thousand, no less than that. I mean, it depends on what you consider like in person, I don't know a couple hundred or so or less. Well, here's why I'd be showing up after I'd never did the killing to be clear. Sure. I'm not an operator. No, no, I'm a nerd for operators. But that's my that's my thing. If you're a nerd, that's why I said if you're a nerd at home and you're saying to yourself, hey, dude, I can't join the military because I want to be on computer. You did it. Yeah. And then you got to go in and see some cool guy shit and take all their stuff. Yeah. What's the first thing you go and look for to grab when they tell you to come in the house and everybody's dead? Anything of intelligence value that could lead to a potential operation. That's like, but for a civilian, what is that exactly? Phones, computers, magazines, hard drives, thumb drives, anything, at least for me. Now there are other people depending on the scope and size of the operation that might be going and doing other forensics. But for me, it was mostly technology based stuff. Gotcha. And then when you took it and then you went back to base, were you immediately downloading everything or trying to hack passwords and things like that? Yeah. So all of that, like a doctor would do, we'd do triage where it's like you're trying to get the easy information first that might lead to actual intelligence. And then you do more of a deep dive after that. So how can we kill people quicker? What do we have right now to help us kill people quicker? Like launch another operation because all of that intelligence has like there's a temporal value to it. So if you wait too long, you might have had something where you could have gone and killed someone. But now that they know that that operation happened, you might have needed to do that in the first 12 hours. But now that that they know that that area is compromised, they might be like, Oh, I'm gonna ask they would leave this place because their assumption might be that we know where they are. There's a lot of decentralized act foreign actors out there that we deal with, right? So we can use the same tactics on them again and again, right? And they don't necessarily get wise to it to or at least it takes a little bit longer. There's some enemies that are pretty well connected despite our best efforts to interdict that connection. And if you do a certain type of ambush or second collection or something like that and your method gets exposed and they switch up real quick. I mean, it's like dealing with criminals, basically. Yeah, sources and methods. What's the easiest password that you had? No password is a really easy one. Like you just actually the password I think comes up, you just push enter. And did that happen a lot of the time? It happens more than you think or the word password. No shit. Yeah. Because we hear that all the time, right? And it's usually a joke or it's in passing or something like that. That is that's true, huh? Oh, very true. And then the other thing too is is like there's for this being like a holy war and these guys apparently being on the right side of that holy war, more porn than you would think. Well, crazier porn than you would think. And I we had to examine all of that stuff. So because sometimes there's intelligence value in there, but where was that downloaded? What's on there? All of that type of stuff. So how many hours of porn did you have to watch for your work? A lot. As many hours as I were in the day, especially when I was like what you would call an examiner, you have to go through that stuff because there's intelligence value there or there can be. I'm going to ask you the same question. I asked this porn editor that they used to work for me in LA. How many times did Jack off them throughout the day? Actually, it made you like not want to jack off. Why? Because it just you get well, first off, you get desensitized to it. So it's like not doing it for you. But then secondly, you're like, it puts you on like the same playing field with a bunch of shitheads. You're like, God, all these shitheads do this. I don't want to I'm not like these guys. I don't want to do this for your what's the intelligence value of knowing up this terrorist or that terrorist is into amputee porn, for example, right? Yeah, so that's a good question. Like just for a honey trap. If you want to tell the agency that they're trying to trap this guy in some compromising situation, but well, all you got to do is find a girl missing an arm. So there's one. So one of the things that I would assist in was it was technical means for human intelligence, which would be like James Bond, even though he would be a shitty spy. But it's just as easy for your listeners to quickly understand like what a human intelligence asset is. You might be if you say, Hey, I'm talking to a guy today who really knew acid, you know, whatever the terrorist name is. Let's just say, Abu Muhammad, Muhammad bad guy, right? So I really knew him. Well, we grew up together. Then you might say something like, well, do you know, you know, did he ever say what kind of porn he was into or what he like, did he ever talk about those types of things? And if you're trying to assess whether the guy actually has access and placement and actually, you know, says he has he was in the room with this guy, you might say, yeah, actually, he brought up people brought up that they've heard he likes, you know, wheelchair porn, wheelchair porn. And then you could, you know, check that in the okay, this guy probably actually knew him call him. That would be one way. There's other, there's other stuff. Again, I don't want to sound like a douchebag. And I have a problem, sometimes where I do something like a douchebag. There's obviously also other things, but sources of methods, right? Like, I was telling Danica, as you say, Danica, girl, I never actually got like a formal brief from the military saying, here's what you can or cannot talk about. So there's a lot of shit where I'm like, God, I don't know if I can say that or not. But that would be one thing that you would get from an intelligence value, just from understanding what it is. But then also where it was downloaded, how it was downloaded with the date that was downloaded and where from, because then you could also say, you told us you were here with him in the Kashmir region of Afghanistan, or I'm sorry, Pakistan in 2014. But then you, you know, look through his laptop and he was downloading shit in the UAE during that date time period, right? Because that any against that if you look in the metadata of that piece of media, whatever it happens to be, it's a picture video, it doesn't matter what it is. There are tags all in the backside of it that show when, where, geospatially, it was fucking downloaded, which is useful information. And Osama bin Laden's files, and this is common, I think a lot amongst a lot of people, there was a lot of data hidden inside of JPEGs. Yes, that's why we have to examine all that. So you see a JPEG, I mean, a 4k, a big JPEG file is going to be pretty big, like a raw file is like four gigs or something like that. But you can take a regular JPEG that's more like two megabytes. Yep. And then dump a bunch of data in there, and then it's four gigs, it doesn't even cross your mind to think, oh, those are just raw files I'm looking at. But in reality, there's a bunch of hidden shit in there. There's been data interleaving going on where there's stuff in there that wasn't obvious on first blush. And that's a useful way to pass information. And there's a, there's a bunch of good information right there. So these dumb dums use something called a whole, a wall in that work, which is like a hand-to-hand money transfer. And you're like, well, how do they keep track of any of this shit? They keep track within fucking data streams like that, right? Yeah. And now with the advocate of things like NFTs and Bitcoin, it's getting even more difficult to track these types of things. Man, I've got so many Trump NFTs from that last round. They all sold out in four minutes. I've got, I think 36 of them, but I understand it. I'll kind of run those through something else and nobody finds out where it was that day. But for you, what was the craziest point you saw? It wasn't really the craziest. Well, I could think about that probably come up with something. To me, it was the amount of blonde haired girl porn and then child porn. So you have to like sign all of this shit, like, because you're examining noxious media. So a lot of time there'd be like child porn, which is horrible. But you had to, again, examinations. What ages, what ages? It's always like really young boys. Like it was the most common porn on a terrorist from my experience. And I'm just speaking for myself, would be like three to seven year olds. God damn it. And then blonde big boobs. Like if you were to ask a 12 year old in 1994 in Alabama, to draw as perfect woman, that's all their porn. Hey, Anderson. Yeah, Nicole, Adam Nicole Smith type of stuff. Like all of that stuff. And it's just freaking everywhere. It's like, I thought you guys were supposed to be like the Holy War, good guys, like, how do you watch child porn all the way through and mentally come out of that? Okay. I'm a dad. I got analysis like saying that there's analysis and there's a positive outgrowth from this. Like you're actually going to kill these guys. So it has to be done. And if not you, then who? I actually talked about this. I saw a panel that Dan was on with Tim Kennedy and Tulsi Gabbard. And one of my things was like, it's so sound so cliche, but it's true. And I try to speak the truth whenever I can. I started reading like stoicism, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and like thinking about like abstracting away what you're looking at and just say, I'm here for the intelligence value. I'm here because these guys need to die. And so I'm going to do this. Yeah, if you work at a federal agency or for a local and police department, they rotate people in and out of that position on a regular basis because they don't want somebody spending too much time there because everybody's going to. Everybody will break eventually. Yeah, you will. It will. Yeah, it's crazy stuff, dude. So there's a lot of suicides involved in that particular line of work as you might imagine, because you're like dealing with the worst people imaginable. The worst people doing the worst things. Like any of them, you're seeing it in real time. The editor that I was talking about earlier, the porn editor, he was doing obviously legal over 18 porn and it ruined his life. And he had the same story about his editor friends where it was just relationships, all that other stuff. I can't even imagine doing watch, having it to watch it for children all day long and then trying to come, carpenter mentalize, whatever the fuck I'm trying to say. Yeah, compartmentalize and say that word for me. Carpet mentalize. There you go. It's just so fucked up to think about, I don't think mentally I would be strong enough to block that out without having that carry over the rest of my life. Well, I'm par with that and it may not sound like it's just as bad, but for me, it was, you can't help what affects you and what doesn't affect you. I can only tell you that when the ISIS stuff was going on, I was involved with the analysis of all like the Americans on the beach getting their heads cut off and we get those full videos and have to do intelligence analysis on those two. Like watching a dude who doesn't want to get his head cut off, get his head cut off, and then watching like these terrorists or whatever you want to call them, these pussies, actually do it and then realize they don't have the arm strength for it. Yeah. And it's going slowly and not well. That to me is as bad or worse. I don't know why, but like, you're just like, get this over with. That shit's rough. I've watched the head shops off videos before. I've seen the ones where they like run out of strength, like Nick Berg, or the first one. Yeah, the when the the blade was dull. Yeah. And then they're trying to just, I mean, it's, it's like trying to saw a overcooked state. Anybody who's dressed a deer or something like that would know like how tough your spinal cord actually is and these things. It just speaks to how idiotic these people are. But yeah, that stuff's rough too. So I mean, but the child port thing would would get me where I don't know that I would be just as much. But again, like I try to really put everything in the context of if not me who, I don't want to put this on someone else. And I'm going to kill bad guys with this. Right. Like even if it means there was no intelligence value here, I move on. Man, that's wild dude. We got really solemn here all of a sudden. No, look, it's interesting. Like, that's why I love this job every single day, because you get the opportunity to ask about things like this, because a lot of people at home, yeah, man, you might see somebody come back from overseas and even, you know, they weren't doing the cool guy shit and killing everybody. They do this shit, which could be equally as is mentally fucking, yeah, we had a guy kill himself. I worked at an organization that did this, like the whole organization was started to do this is called the National Media Exploitation Center. And I, I'm 90% sure that there was a guy there that killed himself. I knew he killed himself, but I think it had to do with him having reviewed like I did like noxious media review for a few months. I hope I'm not speaking out of school and that it wasn't something else. But I think him killing himself had a lot to do with that. And it was during that time, like I was the operations chief at the time and charged like in the army would say it was like an S3, but I was in charge of like the tactical element that did all of this stuff. And we do a morning stand up every morning, and we did the morning stand up. And I remember seeing him and thinking he looked off and that afternoon he killed himself like in a hotel, had wife and kids and everything. And so yeah, it really affects people. Yeah. And that, but for me again, and to bring it back to what I'd said, the army's really shitty at preparing people for that aspect of combat. And we talked about it. And for me and other people, there's like two things that I've seen really work well for people religion and say what you want about it. But I've seen it work well for people to act as a buttress against these things. I agree. And then the other thing for me, especially with stoicism and like just my mother was an alcoholic when I was a kid and she'd always do the she'd bring me to meetings and I'd always hear them talk about the serenity prayer. And what I got from the serenity prayer was when I abstracted from it, which I still used to this day and I was just talking to Danica about it earlier, was give me the strength to change the things I can and the no, I'm sorry, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. I say that to myself all the time. And then I also go back and read the stoics who essentially were saying the same thing, like things don't affect you, your reactions to things affect you. And when I read that during this time when I was doing a lot of this shit in the military, it really helped me a ton. And I brought the question up to Dan and those guys at the panel, which was, why are we not implementing something? First offer, chaplains are neutered, which is a whole other podcast, like they're just all like milk toast assholes, for the most part. You need a fun one with a and a cool guitar. Yeah, yeah, like campfires and shit. I think our chaplains should be actual therapists and not again, not a religious person who's been trained in therapy. I think it should be the other way around. Yeah, yeah, but also just quality people that can actually say what they think without fear of retribution. If you're going to have those people in there, you can't neuter them. But then the second thing is we should be talking about things like stoicism and how people like, I think Epictetus is better for the military than maybe someone like Marcus Aurelius. Marcus Aurelius was an emperor of Rome. I'm sorry, he was an emperor who wrote what he called the meditations. And people always talk about that when they talk about stoicism. But there's another guy who was a slave named Epictetus, who wrote similar things right after he was freed from being a slave. He served under Nero and his stuff is just as good, I think, and really helped me out, like parsing out like you're here to do a job, don't think about the job, don't let things affect you, your reaction to things are what you need to focus on, get the work done, kill the bad guys. That really helped me. Yeah, and I, you know, Dan and I aren't big religious guys in this show. However, we've said the same thing over the years. I think religion is important for people that need it and it gives some something to believe in on a daily basis. And whatever gets you through the day, man, I think it's great for me, you mean Islam? Yeah, Islam as it's practiced widely is incompatible with with civilized society. I say this all the time. But everything else is fine. If that comes back on me or not, it's pretty obvious that that's the case. Oh, don't worry, we'll get most of it back here. Sure, yeah, we'll do it. Yeah, I've relied primarily on Hulkamania. He has for years. Tell you what, brother. Yeah. Vitamins, man. Yeah, I'm savage. I'm a savage guy. He's a Hulkamania guy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Cook the coffee, man. Cook the coffee. Oh, it's pretty good. But with with with you doing this for that many years. So I didn't do the noxious review for many years. I did the noxious review like two like two for about two month periods three times. Okay, that was enough. And then after that, did you ask to get shifted out of like, Hey, dude, I know I still did it, but you'd pass it off like dancing before you'd pass it off to people who were doing it. At least that's how we did it in Afghanistan and Iraq. Like there'd be certain people who were doing that like, Hey, dude, there's noxious media here than someone else would do it. And then sometimes it was your turn. Sometimes it was somebody else. Do you give them a warning of like, well, they know that's their job. That's what they're doing. Okay. At least that was the TTP at the time. That was what we how we practice it at the time. Okay. And then after that, what'd you end up doing? Well, that was just like three years of my life doing a lot of what we call sensitive site exploitation in the military, which that was. I also did, you know, technical solutions for, I mean, not sounding like a douchebag, but like operators like so calm, JSOC, seals would need, you'd be in country at some place where either you're supposed to be or not supposed to be, and they need some type of technical solution. And I have an engineering background. So hey, dude, we needed to stick a camera in a pair of headphones. And I'm going to be wearing these headphones on an objective. I'm there to meet someone. They're not going to know I'm filming them, but I need to be able to film them and get like, you know, proof of life or something. I don't know anything. So it'd be my job to put that shit together. Anytime, just out of curiosity, that any of these gadgets were dildo related. Was it ever inserted inside someone? And that's how you're getting yourself. Well, there was definitely shit that was inserted inside of people. Yes. What did it smell like? Worse than you think rusty pennies. Well, we'd always when we the time I'm thinking of it actually went in a condom and then it went inside of a person. So when it came out, then I'd be like, remove that from the condom. And then no fucking way. What was it that stuff? Just like a microphone was part of it. A microphone inside their anus. This size. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of context here to explain exactly why that had to go in there, where it's going with their crossing like border. There are points that were controlled where they knew they were going to be getting inspected. And then you choose like the funkiest person. Like there's no way they're going to make this guy bend over and you're kidding. Not at all. God damn, dude. I didn't do it. I love this shit. Well, you're not going to you're not going to fucking choose some washed washed up twink. Right. True. Because there everybody's going to want to see his ass. You're going to want to see his ass. Don't give it to me. I'm dazzling. Yeah. Which is ironic because the one guy that wants shit up his ass is a guy who can't put chitness. That's just the tragedy of life to be honest. What was the worst one that you saw where you were just like everybody talked about it and you're like, Oh, you're not going to fucking believe this. Well, I mean, so in a different capacity, I was doing targeting, I was riding around in airplanes confirming if there are bad guys or not in places. And then I'd take videos. We use this thing called like it was called a baller, but it was like a ball that sat on the top of the airplane. And we make videos and then for like infantry guys or for JSOC guys, I would snap new pictures of the area. So like if there are power lines in an area, we call them GRGs. But like if there are power lines in an area or there was some type of infrastructure that have been changed, just wanted to know that when they were landing, they weren't like, they might have had pictures from six months ago and they picked out a landing zone. But then a power like the power grid is really dynamic there. So shit changes all the time. So I would just take pictures and confirm that everything was cool. And then you try to count how many people are going in and out of the building. So they had an idea of how many dues were there. Again, I didn't participate in these operations. I was always the nerd gathering until before the operation. And it would be frequently that you'd see dudes, and not frequently. I can think of at least three times where I'd see dudes who would purport to be non-homosexuals, engaged in homosexual activity on the top of a building, because it was really hot there. So they always sleep on top of the buildings in the summer time. And you'd be like, oh, there's people getting it on. And then, you know, the assault would happen and the arrests are there and you're getting the pictures and everything. And then you'd be going back to do interrogation. And there'd be the briefings. And you're like, there's no chick here. What was happening there? And then you're talking. It was just two men enjoying each other's strength. Celebrating. Celebrating. Celebrating. So I mean, I saw that at least once and heard about it at least two more times. See, I would be if I would expect that there's, because they're not the smartest group, and idioms and posture and things like that don't really translate from one culture to another. So they're not very good. In my opinion, not very good at hiding when they're full of shit, because I think the bartering culture is it makes being full of shit part of culture openly, right? Like you can, if I'm trying to sell him this computer, I'll lie through my teeth to get him to pay more money for it. And he'll call me a liar for it. And then eventually we'll arrive at some agreeable price. But even if one of us thinks the other one fucked us over, that isn't a point of contention. That's just how the game is played, right? Over there, when it comes to transferring goods, I think that leaks into their broader culture. And their cues as far as like pretending like they're not lying are very obvious to me anyways. So you found the same way? Yeah, I would say that by and large, I was the same. And the thing that I would, I have never heard a story about this, but I know it's happened because it had just with all the all the operations we've done with all the people we've done, it has to have happened at some point where an agent who is not a member of US forces, an agent, somebody we recruit from somewhere else, right, just to get the parlance right, an agent who is just too interested or excited about things going up his ass. You know what I mean? That has to have happened at some point where a little op-med is like, it's like, hey, we're gonna have to get this item over this checkpoint. And he's like, ass my ass right here. I'm the guy. I'm the guy for that. Yeah, over here. He's like squeezing lube into his hand already. Yeah, all right, here, here, here, somebody. Somebody go check his browser. There's no business laying on the floor. Somebody check his browser history because op-med is up to no good. There has to be at least one of those easily in all of spied them since we started all this shit way back and way back when you know for a fact that's happened at least. I'm sure it's going on with drug meals and shit where they're like, man, can we put more heroin in my ass? Rain Aldo. Let's do it. Rain Aldo. Yeah. Right. It doesn't go by Ray. It's the whole name. It's like calling somebody James like, no, that's gay. That's gay. He wants stuff up his ass. And look, to be honest, if we could just all get on board with this, this is a symbiotic relationship. It really is. Don't shame him for that. But like, hey, let's see how wide we can get that thing. Not going to. As long as he's a beige. And he maintains some level of rectal integrity. So my materials aren't just falling out. Yeah, and I'm thinking of ways to measure this. Balloons volume. I think you got to go waste. I think you got to go wait. Well, here's what we haven't necessarily done that I'm familiar with is putting the condom or balloon or whatever inside the acid and inflating it from there while it's inside blowing it up. Right. That way, you maintain the rectal integrity. And then you get to start your building a cavity in there. So anything that'll fit through that condom hole, you can just push it through. You're writing this down. Yeah, Bob is actually. Yeah, he's writing it down. Yeah. Don't they do that with like heart surgery or whatever? They put a balloon. Yeah, they put a stent in. Yeah. Yeah, they sure do. That's exactly how it works. So why can't you do that? So why can't you do that when? I mean, you could fit to be out. Women carry around a 10 pound fucking baby in there. So you can put 10 pounds in about how many cubic centimeters is a baby? Look it up. Goddamn it. You can look at how big the baby is. No, yeah, but like the average human baby will have some 43. Somebody's done. It's about seven pounds. Yeah, seven pounds a baby in that asshole. So it looks like a seven pound baby with a volume of about 183.07 inches cubed. Okay, so that's fine. So 187 times what three? Yeah, I guess. But anyways, 187 cubic inches of space you can create in there without the person dying presumably. Yeah. Because we got all the same organs except for the uterus. They just got more. They just make room for it. There's a lot of room in there. There is. You're looking at 541 inches total. Yeah. It's not a centimeters. That's a lot of carrying capacity. Yeah. So you could put, I mean, like honestly, I could disassemble this computer and get the whole thing up there. Sure could. Right. You ever water birth a dump? Say again. You ever water birth a dump? Water birth a dump. I don't know. Dump out the pool. You know what? Oh, no, I've never done that. Okay. Yeah, you kick your legs back and you're you're giving birth to it. It's warm water. Enya's playing. Wow. Give rentals. You ever beach one? I prefer a free willy. Like a free willy. Ever beach one? No. Oh. So there's there's not enough water, obviously, in the bowl. So it's hitting all porcelain at that point. It's just kind of stuck there and you've got to you got to poke it back down. You usually wrap your fingers and toilet paper and stuff it. I pee onto it usually. I try to, but sometimes though it's too it's too heavy. But some say whenever you get it on the side of the bowl and you pee it off, you feel like you've cleaned the whole house. Oh, yeah. Oh, you feel powerful. You feel like you're I am in charge. I am master of my realm. Yep. And I cleaned that. Yeah. Yeah. I did that. The power of the hog, man. You're demonstrating the power of your own hog. But there was a guy in college who he reached in and grabbed it, buddy of mine. And he just goes, I had to know the answer of how heavy this thing was because it looked and it felt heavy. And he goes, you know, the the old adage I felt 10 pounds lighter. He goes, I want to know what this is. And he picked it up and grabbed it. And I was like, what was what was the final answer? No gloves or anything. Nothing. Brought handed. I like a bear grabbing a salmon out of a fucking river, dude. I couldn't find a video of a man pooping underwater. But I found something I think you guys need to see. Okay, great. Show this to us. Is this semen? What is this? No, no, you just you watch. Okay. It looks like we don't know if we're on YouTube today or not, but oh, look at that. Oh, it's in reverse. Nice. Jumping out midair. That's beautiful. That should be an art Basel. You got to play Foo Fighters over that. I know there goes my hero. Look at that thing. Oh, man. You know, you know what else your buddy could have done if he wasn't a fucking mongoloid. Is this way himself before and after taking the shit instead of reaching his bare hand into the toilet and picking the turret up? He had to know. You know what's weird is he's a high powered attorney right now. Like he's rich as well. Yeah. Oh, man. Really? Well, because he figures things out for a living, dude. It's a man or the guy that goes after what he wants. And he gets the answer and then he moves on with his life. But the nonchalant of it was exactly he's like Dan. He was a lot like Dan where he was just like, yeah, I had to try it. And then he moved on with this day. A socialist politician in Spain just got caught eating his own shit. For sexual play? He resigned. I mean, why else do you do it? Just to know what it tastes like. No, he was doing it on camera. And I think there may have been a dog collar involved. Fuck. Yeah. All right. So I just, well, I was seeing a community back on that dog collar shit eating guy. Yeah. Dot, dot, dot. Dot, dot. That's you. I saw a comedian last. Oh, I saw, well, it was broken. But he was talking about freaking how COVID basically showed that men, truly men are more disgusting than women, because there were something like 130 dudes that they counted that have been fired for masturbating during zoom calls, but not one woman. No. No. So that really gives you a good dichotomy of who's the more disgusting sex. It's us. Maybe women just are better at technology. No, they're just not into it. Like, it's a metal thing. It's a metal thing. And is there something wrong with them? I think it's not the visual thing for them that it is for us. Yeah. Like, because I was asking Danica back there on a car ride. What's what? I asked her. No, go for it. And she had her own weird sexual preferences. Oh, yes. She kept talking about the weighted bowl. And I was like, what is that? And it was a padlock that went through a nut sack and it kind of dragged it down. And once that's banging against you, it makes it feel like a high school locker again. And that's what Danica was into. And I was like, all right. And she was like, that's the only way to get off. And I was like, okay, cool. I don't need to hear anymore. My wife was in the car, and she wouldn't shut the fuck up about it. But yeah, Bob, you can show just the device. I think it's right there. You can show just the device, the weighted ball device. I think it's a cage for your nut sack, right? Yeah, yeah. It's a little, it's just a padlock that goes through the scrotum. But it's, oh, it's a padlock through the scrotum. We definitely can't show that. Well, it's about where we're at. We can show it to Bill. We have patreon. We'll show it's a bill. Yeah, hold up for Bill. Do you expect to get into this today? Hey, do you feel like you're back overseas now? Yes, absolutely. This is, this is precisely the types of conversations that happen when you're waiting outside of like an objective somewhere. And someone like Dan will just say something totally off the wall. And then it leads to a huge conversation on padlock ball sacks. Yeah, so it's just your stock standard padlock. You can just pull that up for him and just show the audience. Yeah, you just put it there being bad. The one I was thinking of is the circular one that's a cage that goes around your dick and balls. It's like a chastity belt thing. Oh, I've, I've, so I've seen the ads for it. I've never seen one on a dude, but a padlock I've seen like through a scrotum. And that's a fun thing. Yeah, I mean, one of the things that I did after that, and you talked about it earlier, I was going to say it before, is like, I don't watch porn. Any more? No, I haven't for like, probably six or seven years. You married? Yes. Okay. Happy relationship. Yeah. Great. Yes. Great. Does she ask, does she know what you've seen over there? Oh, yeah. She, well, she works in the same space. Oh, she's so that makes total sense sense. So you guys at least know what the fuck's going on. She's still in the government. She works for the fucking FBI. Jesus Christ. She's looking for a way out. I told her, I was like, look, if I go on with these guys, I was talking about you guys specifically. I was like, I'm not going to hold back my feelings about the FBI. I actually mentioned her on his podcast earlier. Yeah. It didn't say it was my wife. But I mean, that organization needs to be totally disassembled and overhauled. How bad is it? There was a guy my wife worked for. I'll say years ago, many years ago, who I would be on the phone with her and he'd be calling her. Can I say really bad words and none? Yeah. He'd be like, you're being a cunt right now, a real cunty cunt. And you need to, and he wasn't joking or saying in like, just where you could laugh. He was actually saying that to her. And they were in this like little unit that was like set aside out in the middle of nowhere. And he hired his friends. He would only retain his friends. Anybody who tried to buck the system, he would crush and he had full support of the leadership. That's exactly when we figured it was. And we all, and they all knew it. And and every time I've dealt with those people, like even going back to like 2006, them and a couple of other three lettered organizations, I just they need to be, I told him earlier, downsides them by 80% and move them to disparate parts of the country. And somebody needs to go there to go through there and just be like, you know, an office space where they, you know, what is it that you do here? Those guys need to go through that whole organization because it's it's it's way worse than people think it is. It's how bad you think it is, multiply it by three. Well, whatever the what's the FBI even for, like it was started because certain criminal gangs were operating across state lines. And it was a way to marshal power between those agencies and interdict that interstate crime. But that's not what the FBI does anymore. But also that's easily done through agreements between states now. Yeah, yeah, technology has made the world flat enough. And always that that could just be done pretty quickly. Or MOUs. Excuse me. I agree. So let's let's throw the CIA in there. Any use for the CIA? No, okay. I mean, I talked about that on his show as well. So maybe go go and listen to that one as well. But yeah, citizens. Great. I was so surprised how many of them were like, well, my dad was in here for so and so. And I was working for name your huge conglomerate company where her dad or his dad's friends all work. And then my dad said, you know, I should probably come here. And while he was in the CIA, we lived in France. So I speak French. And now I'm going to go back there. And I'm going to do this for like four years. And I got a guy who's going to write a book. And then I'm getting out. And I'm like, that's why you're here. I got to trust you with my life. Bill, you've been on podcast before. You know, we got some sponsors and put this shit wagon on the air, brother. But don't read these. We can't keep the fucking lights on bills to hold your goddamn pants up, right? First and foremost, go to spit.com forward slash drink in bros 50% off everything in the entire store. Yes. I've tried it. It has arrived at my house. I have tried the massage topper. It is fucking bomb, dude. It's so goddamn bomb. I fell asleep on stairs. We're in the same clothes from yesterday was working late. And I was like, man, I got to try out the new product. I got to pull it out of the box. I went right to sleep. Holy shit. It rocks. Right now it's available for pre-order on go, spit.com forward slash drink in bros. Highly recommend it. It comes in a, in a twin size, but it's good for anywhere. You can just roll it out and put it on the floor, put it on top of the mattress. You can put it in your RV. You can do whatever you want with the goddamn thing. 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Well, take it when you're feeling down, dude. Take it when you need to focus. I take it before every podcast. We start throughout the day, and then I'll usually take it when I write as well. Locks me in for three hours. It's better than that fucking gas station bullshit. I'm locked in for a good three to four hours on this shit. And that's hard for a guy like me. I've already got a lot of energy. It's just focused energy. And I'm a big fan of it. They've been doing projects with soldiers overseas. I know the DOD dumped a bunch of money into it. I feel great. I don't feel like I'm jittery or crashy, like the fucking gas station bullshit. And some of the top Olympic athletes use this too. They're everywhere right now. Shit, I know they're in sprouts. And they just signed a supplement research partnership with a team visa for the fucking Tour de France. These guys are everywhere. They won shit. I think they won first, second, and third in the Tour de France. Shit's legal. 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If you're staying down there in Orlando, give a shout out to Charles Zeller and I'll hook you up with some hard AF Seltzer, Georgia, that total wine in Wilmington is sold out. We appreciate it there, but head on into Brunch's. Brunch's open up a new location in Carolina Beach this summer looking forward to that. Goddamn it. I love that place. Ohio, we're all over campus there, 14 and O liquor standard hall, Johnny's Tavern, urban Myers pint house outs in Dublin, Ohio, and then the short north pint house downtown. If you're watching some of the playoff games this weekend, and then every single college, in all of those states were there, Tuscaloosa, Auburn University of Tennessee, UCF, you name it, we're there, and a bunch of places all over UT down here in Austin as well. Now, if we don't, if you're not one of those states and one of the surrounding states, we still ship right to your house at hardafseltzer.com. So go there today. We also have a store locator where you enter your city or zip on there and it'll take you to the closest location near as you. So if you're one of those border states, just hop on over the fucking border there. Grab a 12 pack, support us and support the show. We had some secret service because we leave the studio open for our listeners to come in and watch any of the shows. Dan and I had a couple of secret service agents that came in and watched the shows for the day and hung out with us when we were talking with them afterwards. And I asked them the same thing, why did you get in it? And they were like, oh, you know, I wanted to see the world and blah, blah, blah my family. And I was like, dude, my buddy who was in it, my school, same thing, his dad did it. So he did it. And that was it. And I was like, do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy any of this shit? It was like, no, I just want my dad did. Yeah. I don't I've never met anybody who got into it for the right reasons. I've been so I won't say I haven't met anyone that hasn't gotten into the right reason, but by and large, most of them, it's like a dick measuring thing. It's an ego thing. You'll see like a team full of like E five and E sixes or like a Asada team, which is like a sick and special operations team or or a or an ODA team of guys who have been there and done that, like all over the world twice, you know, total bad asses, cool guys. And then there'll be some CIA liaison who's, you know, been there for four years and they get all of this undue respect. And it takes them like 15 minutes to figure out that this person's an idiot. And but they'll be, you know, the whole time, you know, acting like their shit doesn't stink. And like they have operational control. And it's like, no, actually you work for us. Like you're supposed to work, you're supposed to support the DoD and we and fuck off. You know, that was my experience. And again, I might be on one side of the distribution. As I told Dan earlier, I'm a super disagreeable person. I say what's on my mind. I was able to get through the military because I was actually getting things done as well. So I was productive for the most part. Sometimes I wasn't. But so people that knew me or like general officers or kernels that I worked for were like, yeah, Bill's rough around the edges. But when I needed to get shit done, he gets shit done. So I was able to keep my job. I knew I was never going to be a contractor or a government civilian for a few reasons. One, I despise the institution as it stands, as it is today. But two, I'd have been fired in six months. While you were over there, did you know that we were over there for the wrong reasons at the time? Which place? Weapons and mass destruction. Yeah. I mean, so my first appointment, I was raras as soon by like high and tight that looked like a football, let's kill bad guys. My second deployment, I actually missed the birth of my son and was pretty upset about the whole situation. And again, talked about it on his podcast earlier, but really kind of delved into the founding of our country and why we're doing this and why the American experience is unique. And I thought by the end of that deployment, I'd be getting out. But actually, re-enlisted while I was over there and just said to myself, I don't want to come back here, but I do want to continue to be part of this because I believe in the American experiment. It just needs to be set on the right course. And I didn't believe while we were in Iraq at that point that we were on the right course, it took me a long time. I think 10 said he was like two weeks of being in country. And he's like, well, this is fucked. It took me like, you know, almost eight, nine months of time. What's the reason to tell when you're on patrol in neighborhoods, to be honest, like just doing ordinary patrols and shit, I think is if you're in kinetic targets all the time, then your the scope of your experience there is mostly, well, there's a lot of shitty people here. But if you're walking through neighborhoods on a daily basis, you're like, God, no, they don't want any of this. And did you, yeah, did you stay in for 21 years just to get the pension then? Or what was it? Well, no, I thought I was going to stay in for 30 years. But then as I started to get promoted, promoted, and it started to get more and more political, I realized how much not a fit I was going to be. And then I'd be talking to like, and it's kind of esoteric for people. Oh, I'm sorry. It's kind of hard to understand for people who haven't served, but in the military as a warrant officer and a warrant officer, you can think of the army as like a school. You have like your students who are like, you're lower enlisted in privates. You have your NCOs who are the teachers who really do like the work, the non-commissioned officers. Then you have like officers who are like your principals, administrators, that type of thing. A warrant officer could be thought of as like the technical advisor, which textbooks should we use, which programs should we adopt, what teaching methods, the technical guys involved in that type of thing. And that was my job as a warrant officer. And I really enjoyed being a warrant officer, like rank W-1, which is like the lowest through like W-3. Because I really had carte blanched to do whatever I wanted. I deploy, I'd come back, I'd learn more cool shit. I deployed come back. But then as I got promoted into like W-4, it started to become really political. And then I really started to see under the blanket. And I've said this a million times, it's lost on some people, but I'll say it here again. I've never seen a general officer get treated more like shit than when we would go to either Congress or we would go to the Pentagon and he hadn't spent every penny of money that he asked for. In the budget? In the budget. So if he was like, well actually on this key performance area where we're trying to develop X and X capability, you know, we realized that we could do it at a tenth of a cost, but achieve the same operational effect. That guy would be fired. Yeah, Evan Haefer, when he was our co-host back in the day, he used to say that all the time, he actually told a story about buying like this crazy like $250,000 coffee machine over there, just because if you do not spend all that money, you're fucked. You will cut the budgets. Everybody else will be pissed off. Well, I'll tell that general leave, right. But the other thing too is that you'd have this like mad scramble that started in like July that would go through September where it was like, we don't care if the funding line is built, get this money spent. We don't care what it's for. If we can line it up with a requirement and there's a pipe, like the color of money is right, and we've got this cash left, go and spend it. Hey, Chief, do you got any schools you got to go to? Go now. Like, well, I'm not sure I need this, TDY, but go. Like, and people in the comments, because I've said this before on their podcast, will be like, well, there's a really interesting reason for that. And it's because blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, shut up, dude. This is people have to work for this money. And if they don't pay that money, they will send armed men to their house to get the money. And if they can't get it, they will arrest them and sell their shit. If we can identify an efficiency, we should fucking do it. And then that guy should be praised and not fired. So I don't buy that whole, well, the money's got to be executed because we programmed for it, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, we have effects that we need if we can achieve them for a cheaper cost and achieve the effect and serve the war fighter and the taxpayer. Like, we're good. I mean, there's wagging, there's the tail wagging dog, and then there's the infrastructure wagging the mission, which is way worse. I mean, that's insane to me that programmatic shit. We're getting the way of actually accomplishing the mission, but it's not out of the ordinary. No, Hollywood does it all the time. I had to do it. No, I mean, and government, especially. Oh, yeah. So but all of it, government, Hollywood, shit, fucking car factories. It doesn't matter what you do in this life oracle. If you're taking clients out, like, Hey, dude, spend the fucking money or you're not going to get that budget for next month. Yeah, but if it doesn't matter what you do, if that goes wrong, maybe the company suffers and maybe the shareholders suffer, right? Right. In this scenario, the tackle die, right? So the best example of this happening is the bin Laden raid, where they called a weather event on day one, because they wanted it because the correspondence dinner was the next day. It was on Saturday night. Yeah. The court, the White House correspondence dinner was the next day. So they called it for a negative weather event that didn't exist. And then they went out the next day, a negative weather event did exist. And one of the birds went down, right? Like that part of the operation doesn't get talked about very much, except for by Rob and cheese and some of the dudes around the raid. But that's that is what you're talking about and practical action and the cost. Like it turned out okay, but it could have gone very fucking badly for a bunch of dudes. Obama had a really good speech at the correspondence dinner that night and he didn't want to waste those writers. You know what I'm saying? Like it was on fire. So yeah, it pushed you because I remember watching on a Sunday night at this bar and they you know, they broke in and I was like, why is this happening on a Sunday? Dan was the one who told me that. I was like, no fucking way, dude. That's so gnarly. The government lives all the time. You remember a couple, we'll talk about this on fake news tomorrow. I don't know when this episode's going out, but remember the bombing in H. Kaya that killed 13 people and how myself and a couple other people have been putting out information about that and how the government's been lying about it all this time. Well, now body cam footage from some of the Marines is coming out and it shows that the Pentagon was lying, not just the Pentagon, but all the journalists that just parrot their fucking stories to are just completely lying about this shit because they don't accept responsibility. By the way, you know what the funniest part about that correspondence dinner was? What's that? The one that they moved them in lawn raid for? That was the correspondence dinner hosted by Seth Meyers that some say inspired Trump beyond a reasonable doubt to run for president because he laid into him so viciously saying you will never be president. That's great. That's great. Way to go, Seth Meyers. That was the dinner. Well, let's just blame Seth Meyers. Well, he's a cunt anyway, so. I hate Seth Meyers. What are you going to do? We're going to hate Seth Meyers. But when you get out, at this point, knowing what you know, are you like, all right, how do I start my own company and not deal with any of this fucking bullshit anymore and just try to live the life that I potentially want to lead versus one that I'm just being told fucking lies to and all that other shit every day? Yeah, for me, it was two things. It was that. I wanted to get out and not be a part of the machine anymore. But secondly, what I was also worried about was the one cool thing about being part of the machine is, at least for the first, at least for about 12 years of that time period, was I collected intelligence. Bad guys died. And I didn't have to abstract out into the future. Like what I'm doing is for a good cause because I did Intel in the beginning where I'm like updating stupid, like books where it's like, well, we've moved the Sam battery from here to here. And we're another this and it's going to go in this book for some guy to look up in the future. And you're just like, God, this sucks. Like, you have to abstract the victory out so far that to keep yourself motivated. Whereas when I started doing like, you know, tactical, enabling intelligence operations, it was like, here's our here's our J Pail list, like I drew it prioritize effects list of all the people we want to kill while we're on this deployment. Here they all are start gathering Intel and then dudes will start dying. And that was awesome. I also struggle with parts of that, which would be another whole another podcast, especially on the stuff that we did while I was in Iraq. But because there's really like a weird part of yourself that comes out whenever you're like, want to kill bad guys, and then you're watching it happen or like, for me, a lot of times I'd be on on the fires net or in like the air around an objective and I'm watching dudes just take like how like taking rounds or like a gunship is just, you know, there's this weird part of you that's like cheering. And then you abstract yourself away from that. And you're like, that's fucking dark. You're like, cheering on dudes being turned amissed on IR. But if they've deserved it, unless you're saying they did, but we're also in that country, right? For all the wrong reasons, right? That's true. Yeah, we killed a bunch of petty criminals. Yeah, they were bad guys. No question. I'm not I'm not sitting here saying I'm on a mortal moral high horse and that everything I do is perfect and right and justified. All I'm saying is I have a very addictive personality. And I, for instance, just to go off in another tangent, my father in law told me when I was young, you'll never be a good golfer. I was a plain rugby at the time. I was much bigger. He's like, you're way too much of a turtle to be good at golf. I fucking worked on golf every day until I was like a three handicap, four handicap, and then beat his ass. And then I was done with golf. And that's how I am on any subject. Like someone will say something to me and they'll be like, that's interesting. I'll write that down. And it'll send me on a rabbit trail that I can't get off of. And so when I think about these things in the military, like what was ethical, what that was right, where it was wrong, and I kind of do my own post hoc on all of that stuff. Some of it's like, you know, pretty dark places you can bring yourself where you're thinking about, you know, the moral implications of what you did. But so for me, it was the first thing that you just talked about, what was I thinking about when I get out, but then the second thing was I'm never going to experience this amount of gratification or satisfaction from my work, like I do here in the military. That really worried me. I had been thinking about Spartan Forge, when I first first conceptualized it in like 2012, I was calling it Open Season. Open Season technology is what I call it. And when I was thinking about it, I was like, this is now a place where if I build cool shit for people, I can help a father and a son connect while they're hunting, I can help someone put food on the table, I can help teach someone how to use a compass through the app. And it's actually good and it's helping really what I think a really positive thing, which is getting people outside, engaging with the wild, going out getting their own food, and doing their own kind of like targeting cycle on an animal. I understand it sounds douchey to make it sound that technical, but like enabling that, someone going out and putting me on the table, it's really gratifying. Like when I was a young guy and I just had my oldest daughter and I'd go off and kill a doe and then bring it home and dress it out and get the loins out and then we're having supper on the table. And this is my meat that I killed. It's a really gratifying feeling. So pushing that forward or getting my son to come hunting with me and having like father son hunting stuff, that I was like, actually that's a space where I can get into and kind of feel that same gratification, but I do know now it's benevolent, like no matter what, this is good. So I got really motivated to do that. And I said it last night to a guy, my buddy Tyler who owns Archery Country, we're having a block party there tonight actually. I said, like I get stressed about the job and I work as much as I can and I'm always thinking about it and always doing it. But I'm like now burdened with this glorious purpose that I used to once pray for to find. That's just like an awesome feeling. It's not something that I take for granted and I work my ass off to keep. And like I told earlier today with Dan, I said, the fear of having to go back to the government hat in hand or having to go to the contracting world or doing something like that motivates me as much as wanting to create something for a father and son to bond over or getting me on the table. It motivates me just as much like, hey, if you don't get as much in as you can right now and work as hard as you can right now, you might be back freaking, you know, in Syria doing some bullshit that you know you don't want to do and wondering why you're there. We'll tell everybody in the audience about Spartan Forge and what it is you guys do there. Long story short Spartan Forge is right now if you were to look at it, you'd just say it's a mapping tool, but there's some more general AI that's in there like a large language model that we were fooling with earlier that can help teach you how to learn how to hunt like it'll teach you how to dress an animal, it will teach you about how to make a homemade compass, it will teach you prepping stuff, it'll teach you how to build a firearm, it'll teach you how to scout for deer, all of those things, but then it kind of focuses around a map so people can learn how to use digital scouting to kind of optimize their time so they can get out there and you know people have less time and money more now than ever and so one of my things was how do I make them as successful as possible because being reliably successful in hunting especially like I used to hunt with a primitive bow, like a bow I'd made myself now I use a compound, being reliably successful in that context is extremely difficult so if I can make an app that kind of helps centralize all of that knowledge that you need in order to be successful beyond just mapping which is what most of my competitors do, there's a lot more there and it's just all in one place and it's cheaper by half than most of our competitors so to me that's a victory. The merch is cool, I got the Spartan Forge shirt here I like the Waffle House design, I'm a big fan of this, the material's great by the way. Yeah I love our shirts, yes they're awesome I love them. What's one cool story or the coolest story that's come out of Spartan Forge where you went home at night and you were like holy shit man I can't believe I got to affect someone so it's life or change somebody's life and help them go in a different direction. There's like some, there's a lot of these stories but my favorite is and it's kind of there's many of these so I can't just tell one but it would be you know my son and I have been targeting this big buck on this piece of land we've been hunting them for like three or four years we kill plenty of does and all of that stuff but we've been trying to do this and you know we we just heard you on a podcast we liked what you were doing we used the app we listened to it and you know we saw this buck for the first time and shot it and I get a picture of a father and son together you know smiles ear to ear kids never gonna forget it and we got I got to pay like or I got to play the smallest role in that to me is awesome my highest value and again I talked about this earlier today was individual autonomy like people being able to do this on their own learn from the app and then hopefully in three years they don't need it or if they are using it it's just to navigate through the woods and not get lost in the dark and learning all of these things through our cyber scout which is that large language model I talked about or through the mapping or through the journaling or the weather analysis and all of that stuff it's just getting people outside and disconnecting from the culture that we're creating right now which is kind of shitty and get into the quiet woods and uh and uh experience I think it's magical you know get in there really close with like a primitive bow with an arrow that you built at like 15 yards from an animal that is living and dying by his ability to be stealthy and then you get it done like you that to me is it that's the only thing for me that creates anything close to watching like an operation go down that you've been pivotal pivotal in building the intelligence framework for and then that not only the bad guy that you said was going to be there he was there and now he's dead and people are safe this dude killed 50 marines three weeks ago with a IED or a series of IEDs like daisy chain and now we put together an intelligence picture and that dude's dead now hunting is the only thing that gets anywhere near that and if you haven't if someone hasn't experienced I I encourage them to go out there and do it but you just the world melts away you're in that moment it's just you and the animal and and and you're really killing it because you respect it and you want and you want the food the sustenance and the experience and you do it and like the adrenaline drop and it's just a perfect situation I think it's that way for us because it's so deeply ingrained in our evolution because it had to be there you know the guys that were chasing the mastodon or whatever um had to get that feeling whenever they took the mastodon down so they'd want to do it again I like the band mastodon yeah um and then uh trying to meddle it's a good band yeah we'll do it because we'll share these dms back and forth too like um I think the one that Dan was most excited about over the years was uh uh there were some two brothers um who hadn't spoke to each other in a while when was 28 when was 35 and they said hey we were listening to the show you know we listen every single day and uh I actually listened to Dan's advice about using a spotter in the room he was going to strangle bait to death and you saved his life um and when I held him in my arms and I got him uh and he you know he ejaculated all over me um there was no better feeling in the world than knowing I saved his life and that he could do this again someday and he was using a spotter so we get the same thing here it's just in a different form yeah the prophet Mohammed said that is not that is not a joke the prophet Mohammed said if you don't if if the things you wish for yourself you don't wish for your brother then you can never be a true believer right and if you're holding your older brother with ejaculation all over him and you uh and then obviously he's he's choked up literally um and he's got tears coming down his face literally literally um from almost strangle baiting to that and his brother saved him because he listened to the show and said you you have to use Dan said you have to use a spotter if you're going to strangle bait don't go in alone isn't that what happened to kung fu the legend continues yes he sure does yeah he dressed up like a geisha and strangle baited himself to death he was dressed like a geisha yeah dude is that real is that real we've got such a thing that happened in the world i didn't know he was dressed like a geisha lit up he's got makeup on everything dude white white geisha makeup all of it which begs the question like who was that for is that if it's just if it's just autogana filia which is when men like to dress up like women for sexual pleasure still you're in an environment if you're going geisha style they're like just find another geisha i agree like a mentor geisha yep a real one but again he didn't listen to you guys and he didn't have a spotter he wasn't listening to the show but also the show wasn't hearing at that time uh Bob it was on the cover actually of their newspaper and i'm not kidding so they used the photo of him hanging in the closet on the front of their newspaper um and uh that's how i saw it because he was all slumped over it might be that one that's blurred out if i if i was gonna guess that's where i was oh shit no it's not that one damn it oh man that's worse that appears to be after the autopsy yeah that's all man that is the autopsy there but you can still see the rope around his neck it's a generous red bar that gave him yeah well he's dead but um for being a dead person sure you can make it as big as or small but do you see the rope around his neck in that autopsy photo but you can't make it as small look at that so there he is well provided it covers everything right so you can you can make it as small as possible while still covering everything and you're not doing anybody any favors by doing but why do they pop that picture up one more time why do they leave the rope around his neck for the autopsy photo i was in his will okay they forgot they want to lose it i don't think it is around his neck i think it's just on his chest right so at that point because you can see on his neck where he was all roped off right yeah and that's clearly the road marks why leave it there i it's in his hands the way sometimes you see at a like a wake like a rosary in your grandma's exactly yeah it was part of his religion it could be they found a manifesto left behind like a strangle bade into death is how we reached the next stage in our evolution that is rough the only the only photo that's that's uh comparable and i can actually say that word right now is uh not it's a different word compartmentalize um is is comparable to this is when jordan was laying on the floor after his father died and he won the championship and he was still holding the ball game is over he didn't need to be holding the ball i think that's the same way with carotene when he was holding the rope afterwards of like hey if i die during this put the rope in my hands yeah it's also kind of like that kid from uh there's something about mary the retard with his baseball franken beans yeah franken beans uh intense yeah now's the point the show we get to the drinking bro the week which is someone who has inspired you or helped you become the person you are today who would you like to give the drink a bro the week to don't give it to carotene uh let that moment live with you for a little bit pick somebody else somebody who's inspired me that everyone would know no it's just your own person it's your own person on jesus doesn't even have to be a real person you hit me right like i gotta think about that first why we've been on the air for nine years is our ninth year on the air there's no way you're just hearing this for the first time no it's not i just didn't think i just in this situation i didn't think what happened to me or that we were just going like well this was fun uh who let me see who uh okay i'll say it i'm going to sound like a nerd but i'm going to say it anyway i don't care um thomas soul the economist okay i freakin love that guy everything he says i think is perfect um and i don't know why we couldn't convince him or control him to become like a president so he could disassemble dissemble the american government and put it to the size that the founders wanted um and uh actually whenever i'm like needing to like center myself as stupid as this sounds actually i went to school and did economics while i was in school so this shouldn't be a surprise i like listening to old thomas soul videos really oh he's like a black libertarian he's black yeah big time he's awesome i mean he's just kind of if you've never listened to him you should listen to him kind of from the austrian school of economics so like super like uh bordering on a narco capitalist but not a moron about it but he's super well-spoken super like well-educated um and yeah i really like it's my wife's laughing if she's listening to this what she will she's laughing right now because like if we're going on like a long road trip like i went to north carolina last weekend it's going to be like thomas soul victor davis hanson murray rothorn yep that's love right there yeah is she into it yeah she's she's yeah she's i mean my wife's the coolest she's as good as women get i mean i'm dead serious like my friends all like my wife more than like me like when they mean her same thing with me they're like oh she's way cooler than you do hundred percent same with me so yeah for me it'd be thomas soul that's awesome yeah i can't uh get my wife into that bullshit but um you know but we all get our thing hers is true crime obviously minus sports so we'll kind of flip flop in between she loves that as well like actually she works for a guy if you ever watch like forensic files oh all the time because jessie will be doing uh research for different stories so the guy who does like all the digital evidence face stuff it's like a really nerdy dude you'd recognize him she works with him really yeah she's she works with him like daily and i always watch the forensics files and he's you know we've got access to him i talked to him at my daughter's play a couple weeks ago no shit um he's a badass too my wife would love to have him on the show she holds the show called crime corner i could get him on the show for you guys the crimes bring your wife and i'll get this guy on fascinating were you guys based on him we're in virginia okay south of dc oh that's right kids Stafford she's that one okay but i mean super fascinating guy super smart guy but he's been like the og of digital forensics and video and face analysis for the past like 25 years and he's you'll recognize him when you see him because he's always on forensic files with that creepy dude's voice how high up is your wife by the way um she's one step below executive great so our seltzer we're having a hard time getting in a military basis it's got to go through quanico no lie i don't know she's not gonna have any input on that she can walk in there and open the door and say hey motherfucker put it in the goddamn stores dude but through all your guys's connections you don't have someone that can get this no it's just a pain in the ass they said come back and jeep like afis you're talking afis yes yes wow i mean it's like imagine going to try to do a deal with the dmv that's essentially what it is right yeah but every like very confident government drones every like half baked military guy you came up with an idea for a workout band you can't walk ten steps in afis like a hand face with them it just takes well for booze it's different and it takes it's kind of a process to do it all we're just going through the process which is a pain of the day well it is delicious thank you thank you very much yeah it sucks i wish i had that person's name um because everybody keeps hitting them up on twitter and they're like put hard af seltzer on the basis and they're like oh you know we've got to go through the practice everything else it's like motherfucker we've already been through the process uh but it's the government as a whole man it's just it sucks even right in matt's book that was 18 months of the dod 18 fucking months it's out there well that's better christian kerek had just got denied by the uk yeah talk about a guy who's been what rough shot that poor dude holy shit like so what do they say they i don't know what exactly they said but they denied the release of the book i embarrass myself in front of christian kerek ad you shoot what you do yeah you shoot i always don't pop yeah i die pop he's diped up now i'm ducked up all the time i i was drunk and i was i shouldn't i uh how do i say this i had been drinking and i was at a party where there were a lot of people pretty important people people would say anyway and he was there and i saw him i'm like holy shit that's christian kerek i'd like fucking that's obi wonder obi that's fucking badass yeah and i was waiting like everyone was like switching places like talking to each other and shit like vivic robin swami was there oh shit yeah and i even know he was gonna be there i'm like holy shit vivic robin swami like i want to watch this guy just like just take apart the government it'd be awesome yeah he's gonna be in the show soon is he really yeah so he was there and um some other not really notable cool people people that i like you know and i didn't expect to be there i just got invited by a friend of a friend and showed up anyway christian kerek had showed up and i was drunk and i was like i said something my buddy said something he's like or he walked up and i was like hey man i introduced myself and he's like dude ain't nobody ever fucking buffalo build like you buffalo build on that day and he's like what and my buddy's like dude he's from britain oh buffalo build he was like a really badass dude and i was just trying to tell you that you really kicked ass and wait is there a famous uh english cop from lore i don't know who would know he was Sherlock Holmes they used to run the world and they haven't been relevant in the hundred years Sherlock Holmes isn't doing kinetic raids against Nigerian terrorists we don't know that we're over the fucking world we can't we can't prove that guys we can't prove that so he was really nice wasn't a real guy yeah sure wasn't you should ask or is christian going to be on the show at some point i don't know yeah i just like you know if he remembers you know me embarrassing myself i'll ask him because he had no fucking clue that we're gonna have to we'll reach out to our public and he was i have contact with him too but oh yeah he's easy to get on the show we just have it you should our timelines haven't mastered he's freaking awesome um i was waiting for his book to come out but i guess now there's no point in waiting that's so much bullshit but i totally embarrassed myself because everyone's like dude he's another fuck Buffalo Bill is and i'm like i don't care that seemed like the appropriate thing to say like well you're a white American we're the only people in the world who would go to somebody else's country look around and say there are a lot of fucking foreigners here yeah just this is how we're it's how we're bred man i yeah i i jacked that up and he just looked at me like i had a phallus growing from my forehead and i was like all right well anyway man i have a good one that was fun thanks for coming out later you lose your advance on that shit too like financially that's gonna cost him a lot dude i i i feel sorry for that guy like i i actually reached out to somebody's of mine i was like dude if he ever needs someone to sponsor him Spartan Forge i don't care if people don't know who the fuck he is i'll put him on i'll get him fucking money to talk about my product because he's been getting shit on by everybody i ordered like ten of his books and started giving away to people just because it's like you can't think of more genuine down to earth good dude who went out there and kicked fucking ass like in a real meaningful way and then his country's just like go fuck yourself yeah oh man that's rough very bizarre the way i feel about karate and hanging in that closet but why are they doing that to him like you'd think in the english would be like hey we've got a reputation for being pussies we should probably elevate this guy who is the ubermensch and you know put him out there in the world to make sure he's got his accent on full tell well he's talking about things no idea man we say that all the time here of like you need more heroes in the world yeah we do so why not just fucking have cool guys be cool guys the real ones yes and they have people to look up to so that way maybe you don't inspire somebody to go out and do something fucking cool the more and more you bury these stories the less and less people want to get involved in shit where they're like great well who's who am i looking up to right you know lower and lower somebody on tiktok if there's anyone worth looking up to it's christian craichead well lower and bobert too but uh for different reason jacie often i think you mostly look down in calorado representative jacie often a theater she's pretty cute cities yeah yeah but she got in trouble for jacking off a dude jacie often doing a theater i mean it was over the pants does that even count well you got to start somewhere like when i was uh dabbling a catholicism for a while i wouldn't uh confess to that unless there was skin to skin contact with the you do confession no i've never was just making that up she i think she got a hand in there she went zip her down and then just kind of pulled it yanked it out of there and uh it was getting ready they're in a movie right no they were in a play that well then what was the play though beetle juice it was a very bob it was beetle juice it was beetle juice the musical how many tony's did that win i don't think and by the way uh i could tell you from experience the priest wants to know about that yeah for sure i know he wants to know about it but he was the other guy involved in my made-up story so my life's a catholic and i'm not and it's a bone of contention for us you should make you should make her confess to you exactly i'll be your father figure yeah exactly put your tiny hand in mind just make her call you daddy though it's like that jared wanted to do a sketch like that with jack mandeville where jared kept confessing to jack when he kept falling down oh daddy i've been bad and shacked up uh it just never materialized i don't know why and don't don't think that i didn't catch that george michael uh i know you did wait which one what was it he drops and george michael there is i will be another one another one that confused me because when i was a kid i was like bambi so cool to be that guy same i was like super straight man look at him what does that say about me beating up pussy every night dude i thought that is a fucking hero but also like well he's not what i was like 16 i thought about that song and i was like wait yeah he was thinking about dudes bubbles just banging out when he was yeah well you know you know who you don't tell you want you want to be their father figure is a 30 year old man right if you're in your mid 30s and you're singing that song which is what he was doing you're clearly talking to a a younger man younger man he was dating dudes that were right right there on that mandoza one on the fucking 18 but now i giggle when i hear that song so i'm like this is about cindy crafford at all he pulled a power move though when he got caught um you remember he was uh getting a blowjob in a in a bathroom and uh he got arrested for it in a park in la right uh yeah no well that was later there was a lot of them down the road the first one was in a bathroom so yeah yeah no he was in a bathroom in a park in la i think i'm pretty sure a public bathroom uh i forget which bathroom it was but immediately he the next music video he does where he's a gay cop getting sucked off in a fucking bathroom dude and i had the oh yeah he was wearing dangle shorts hard to paint oh yeah from uh arena 911 like he was super gay and i was like way to go way to dominate yeah way to dominate yeah tell everybody where they can find spartan fortune uh spartanforged.ai is the website um you can i i do all the social media um responding to messages if you like the app if you hate the app if you want to see other things um i spent almost like two three hours a day just responding to people um we want to build this product for the hunters for people um and uh i think that's one thing my competition at least is all really corporate and kind of abstract away from the user they don't know who runs these companies or what they believe in or what they're doing we're kind of trying to go the opposite way with it so uh reach out to me there and uh give us a you know uh give us a look tell us what you like what you don't and uh i'm happy to talk to anybody that's awesome man we're happy to have you here today you're cool on the fucker dude no you are well that's true but uh i will question your your friends here denica why did i mean why is she here today why did you bring her because she's the woman she's not she's a woman she's not the woman she's one of the women she keeps me in line the weighted ball dude the weighted ball denica don't think i'll forget denica girl fucking with this hoes man get her out of here after this all right yeah get her the fuck out of here you know joe i think joe was uh asked to sniff her shoes or something she shouldn't stay for ten until he gets off but uh after that get her the fuck out of here okay oh man just get the fuck out of here intense uh go to i too it's for the show five star leave a quick review also head on over to spotify it's just a five star and you can walk away if you stay through it at this point we're damping the dampening holly way i'm ross patterson this the drinking rose podcast good night everyone be a part of den perks the new loyalty program at denver international airport when you eat and shop at ten you earn gift cards and cash sign up now for our rewards program at denperks.com
