The Manic Candice Podcast
With Her Baddie Friend
- Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to the Man in Candice podcast. This is your real Candice, back at it again with the brand new episode of the podcast. And today, this morning, this evening, this afternoon, this good night, I have a special guest with me. I have my friend Gabi here, MetaASU, Gabi. Hey, hey everyone. So we're just gonna be kicking back talking and feel free to listen, that's why you're here. But don't mind me, but Gabi, before we get into our conversations, I just wanted to ask you, since this podcast is about mental health, and it's about bipolar disorder, and everything to do with mental health, in denounce, how do you feel having a friend that is mentally ill? - Well, I will say, at some point it's sad, right? Like, you definitely wanna be there for them. You don't want them to go through what they're going through, and you just wanna be that support system. But, you know, you also kind of live and learn with that person too, and it also makes you more aware of what, you know, others could be going through and how you could best support others. - What are some moments that we had, so me and Gabi have been friends since our ASU days, and we, I graduated in 2017, and when did you graduate? - 2000, I wanna say it was 2017. Yeah, same year, same year. - And we were roommates at 922 place. For those of you in Phoenix, Arizona, that is in Tempe across from campus. And it's funny how I got into her, well, let me tell you the story about how I met Gabi, first off. But before that, I just wanted to say Gabi, thanks for being my friend. I know it's not the easiest thing to deal with someone that is bipolar, to deal with and to like grow with them and to learn with them. So I really thank you for your acceptance, 'cause I know not everybody gets that. - Of course. But I met Gabi because I was being kicked out of my room, 'cause my roommate hated me. I was causing a lot of drama. I was selling drugs out of that apartment complex, and I wasn't a considerate roommate. A considerate roommate. And so I was asked to leave the unit, and I was reassigned to Gabi's apartment, which was a couple floors up. Do you remember anything about that day of you getting a new roommate, like what you were going through? - Well, it was interesting. So we basically had four people living in the place, and the person that moved out, she quote unquote got a really great job in Canada. So she ended up leaving, and we had this vacant spot. But I remember the leasing person downstairs saying, "Hey, we have a new roommate for you. "They're gonna be moving here very soon." And so it was on my side of the room. So there was two on one side, and two on the other side bedroom-wise. And so I remember, in my head, I'm like, "Let me try to clean the bathroom a little bit. "Let me make it look somewhat nice, right?" And so just kind of wondering, who is this person gonna be? Who's gonna be my next roommate? And so I remember when you moved in, I know you made that comment of, when you saw black girl hair products, you're like, "Yes." - Yes, I know, you guys, seriously. 'Cause I didn't know if I was gonna be ruined with a bunch of white girls again, and Gabi's black, and I am mixed. I am half Navajo, and I am half black. And it matters, okay? It really fucking matters to have someone who is black around you, or in front of anywhere. Like, you can't be the only black person anywhere. You need someone other, you need to stick together. - Definitely. - And then so once I got in the new apartment, there was no one in this. I had no idea who it's gonna be. And when I got in the restroom, I saw Shea Moisture. I saw, I don't know what else I saw. I just knew there was black girls on the product, so I knew there were black girl hair. And you had gel, you had a clock in there that said, what would DJ Collard said? - Oh, we the best. - We the best of major key in her clock. And I was like, that's so cool. And so I knew she was a black girl, 'cause I was just patiently waiting for her to come home. And then she met me, and then the first thing Gabi did was pull out of glass wine. - I did, yep. (laughing) - I did. - And she introduced herself to me that I remember her first story to me was about a hardship that she had with volleyball. Do you wanna talk about that? - No, I mean, it's not the best of story, right? But I definitely had a scholarship at some point, and it didn't fall through, so. But yeah, but he moved on and things of that. But yeah, that was kind of the whole reason why I came out here was to play volleyball, but ended up not working in my favorites. I messed up my knee. So then I ended up just kind of going to ASU and doing my own thing and battling through majors, trying to figure out what you want to be, 'cause you never know at 18 what you wanna do or who you wanna be. - You never know. And that is one thing that I will blame our parents for. It's just that drilling of you need to go to college, you need to go to college, you need to go to college. - No other generation except us have that in grade. This is the only path to success in this country. - Yeah. - And it's not true. 'Cause guys, me and Gabi, we talk every day about what business we can start, what business we can do, what business, what business, what is our next million dollar idea. We're always constantly trying to find that million dollar idea, billion dollar idea. We just went to the car wash and we were like, how much money could this make one person? How many times could this, how many times could this car wash be used for money? We were thinking about bringing up garage spaces, how many times could be charged people for spaces in a garage, just things like that. But I don't know about you, Gabi, but me personally, if I could do it over again, I wouldn't go to college for the first, that wouldn't be my first starting point. It wouldn't be my first avenue. I think that if I started a business right out of high school, like a little lash tech business or a little nail business or like anything, landscape, something small, it would have been substantial by now. And I'm gonna be 29 in three months. - Yeah, but that's the thing too though, you don't know what you don't know. And you only know like what your parents tell you, you only know like what you see on TV. And at that time, it's you have to go to college to get a great career. And so like you said, you get drilled with that, with that comment all the time. And so you do it and then you come out and you end up being in debt. And then you're just wondering like, okay, so what now, right? And then also you start learning throughout that, you know, a lot of jobs that you want to have, you have to have experience. And college isn't experience. - College is not experience. - It might be, it might help you a little bit, it might get your feet in the door. But I would say for a lot of people who do wanna go to college, like if you are thinking about majoring in something you're passionate in. And even if you're just going to see a degree, that's cool too. But definitely try to find those entry level jobs while you're in college. - You know what I'm gonna stop doing? When you just stop telling people to follow your passion. - Yeah. - I feel like it's detrimental to people's success because I feel like it creates a lot of wishful thinking and it doesn't instill a lot of discipline to get that dream done. 'Cause you can dream, but what a lot of people don't realize is that there's an immense amount of discipline that you need to have within yourself. Especially like, people have flaws. Like, what if you're an addict? - Yeah, you definitely don't wanna go through. - Yeah, yeah. - Definitely. But that's true, there is a lot of discipline that comes into what you want. And also consistency is huge. I mean, that's something people, 'cause people will quit something that they're going at just because it's not going their way as fast as they want it to or they don't see it moving forward. But I feel like the best motivation is consistency with anything that you do. You'll definitely-- - It definitely is. - You'll get anywhere you want in life if you just be consistent with what you wanna do, 110%. - Yeah, like with the Amazon seller thing you're doing, like I can see if you stay consistent with that, you're gonna blow up within like 12 months. - And that's all it is. 'Cause there's always gonna be bumps in the roads, right? Like, you're always gonna have a time where it's like, this isn't working, this isn't making sense. Like, navigating through those situations is what's gonna make you on top, 110%. - Yeah, and that's what I think ASU really taught me what to do, is how to pivot in those situations. It didn't teach me how, oh guys, when I say ASU, I mean Arizona State University, those of you who don't know where I reside, it's not Alabama State University, it's not Arkansas State University, it is Arizona State University. In 2013, we were the number one party school in the entire country, yeah, don't fuck with us. (laughs) - Oh, oh, would you choose another major? A different major if you could go back? - I would have. - I think I would have, but you know, that's the thing, that's why I always feel like college is so hard. Like, it's so hard to pick what you wanna do at 18, so. - Tell them, tell them what your first major was and what you graduated with. - So, it's actually funny, I went through a roller coaster of like, what I wanted to do. So, like, I know when I first started, like, growing up, I used to love watching all those crazy, like, medical examiner shows, like. - I used to love the untold stories of the ER, the Dr. G, medical examiner, like, I used to love watching people, like, pop cysts and all that just crazy stuff, right? - She's the one who did the autopsies, right? - Yeah, she did all the autopsies and things like that. Like, I used to be obsessed with that kind of stuff and I try to memorize all the different terminology that she would say and I'd be like, "This is what I wanna do." So, I went in actually for pre-med, that was my first major issue. - Really? - It was pre-med and I was so excited to do it, but when I got there and I got my classes signed up and things of that, they gave me two science classes and two science labs in the same semester. - That's a lot. - And that wasn't instant no for me 'cause I'm not the best at science, but to have a chemistry and a biology class plus two, three hour labs wasn't gonna be it for me. And I'm like, this is not gonna be my next career or, like, my next four years of doing pre-med. So then I dropped pre-med. And then I was like, okay, maybe I can just do nutrition 'cause I do have a huge background in food like my parents have a restaurant back at home and food has always been a focal point and my dad's even a chef. - And was home. - Home in St. Louis, Missouri. So that's why I thought about doing nutrition. And I started doing the classes and as I'm thinking of what nutrition I wanted to do 'cause there's different branches of nutrition you can do at ASU. So I thought of dietetics and I'm like, diet tech to be really cool 'cause even though I love food and food's been a huge focus at focal point in my life, I never really knew the behind the scenes of food. Like it'd be cool to know like how many calories are in this or like what you should eat. We just ate, just to eat growing up. Like my dad would cook every two hours. - A ton of my family. - A ton. (laughs) So, you know, we're just eating and eating and eating. And so it just, it would have been nice just to kind of see like what that looks like on a caloric standpoint. So that's why I'm like, okay, nutrition dietetics might be a cool thing. So I started doing nutrition dietetics and then, you know, as I'm doing it, like I'm learning a lot. Like I think it's a really cool major. But then I'm kind of thinking like, you know, what is diet, what is my degree gonna look like after I graduate? Like do I need to go to meds, do I need to go to grad school? Do I have to get my masters in it? Like what do I have to do after that? And so when I found out with nutrition dietetics you have to do a four year unpaid residency program. So meaning I had to take out another loan. I'd have to work in a hospital. - All these fucking loans, dude. I own 22,000. - Yeah. - And that's how they get you. They just, they keep thinking, like, and the whole idea is that you'll be making so much money that you'll be able to pay it all back, right? - That's what they sold everyone. They're like, no, no, no, no. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna get your job. You're gonna get this salary. Then you'll be able to pay it back. There's gonna be no problem. - Yeah, like, it's gonna be an easy 20 bucks a month or something and you'll still be able to get a house and have your car like you'll be able to have a normal life and have kids and you don't have to worry about it. But, you know, people are paying 200, 300 a month. And even those people, like, I think of who's, like those people who are doing med school, like, you know, they can go into the hundreds of thousands in debt and come out with a doctor's salary but having to pay their medical insurance license and having to pay back their loan debt. They're making as much as someone like me. - And then you had to think about where they're gonna live, right? Like, could you imagine moving to California after all that debt? And so, yeah, there was just so much more that went into that major that I had no idea about. So when I found out I had to do the four year residency program, I was like, you know, and you can't work a full time job because that is your full time job but you're paying someone else just to learn. I didn't think that was what I wanted to do. That didn't sound-- - Our school system in America is broken. - It is. - Down from kindergarten, no, from pre-K to like our, your doctor program. - Why is there, nevermind, nevermind. - So, yeah, so with that, then I was like, you know what? I wanna keep the nutrition thing going but I don't wanna do that residency. I don't wanna have to, 'cause I can't really do anything with a degree at a bachelor level. Like, I'd have to go up and get the master's in it just to do, just to be like an RN or something like that, right? So, then I was like, well, there has to be something else. I do like my major, I think this is really cool. So then I kind of moved towards nutrition management, like food management. So I could be like a manager at a restaurant or, you know, something, anything that kind of revolves around food. So, I switched my major to that and that worked out. I still kept the dietetics part of it so I ended up dual majoring. - That's good. - Because I still wanted to have, I guess I wanted the option if I wanted to go that route but I ended up keeping both, so I double majored. So, I got my degree in nutrition dietetics and nutrition and then I have a minor in family relations and I really don't know how-- - What were you gonna do with that? - You know, it's funny because I did it because a lot of my classes kind of merged into that but I can kind of see it playing out like when I was a manager at certain restaurants, how you can kind of, I don't know, I guess I kind of tied in with like my coaching and like things of that and like being able to help, you know, my employees with problem solving and things of that and kind of, you know, what's one thing you have to learn too when you are like in the food realm and you're managing people is how to kind of mesh with other people's personalities. - Yeah. - And so, 'cause not everyone can be taught the same thing. So, I think that kind of in a way helped me but I don't think I took any core classes to get that. I think a lot of my classes kind of intertwined to give me that minor but yeah, they kind of kind of how that fell into place and so then when I graduated, I got those degrees and then yeah. - And now what? - Well, now. - No. (both laughing) - I started off with, I wanted to be an entrepreneur and I didn't know entrepreneur, I should have looked that up. I wanted to be an entrepreneur because everyone who I knew that was anybody that I thought was rich or fancy was a called an entrepreneur. Entrepreneur lives, entrepreneur that. And that's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a CEO for a CEO's sake. I didn't know that a CEO had to start everything. You know what I mean? I didn't know that's what it went into. I didn't know that sometimes you could be the maker of your own company and someone else would come over and take over your spot as CEO. I didn't know any of that. I just wanted to be like a mogul. That's what I knew I wanted to do. I just wanted to be a mogul just for the title. And then once I applied for ASU, I didn't have high enough SAT score, ACT score to get into their business school. The W.P. Carey School of Business is one of the top business schools in the fucking country. And I couldn't get in, but I could get in with the business sustainability major. I wanted to be in their entrepreneurship program so they could cultivate some entrepreneurship skills into me. But I couldn't pass business statistics so I had to drop out of the business school altogether. Which is funny 'cause I took criminal statistics with my criminology degree that I graduated in. But I say that to say that it's like I really had to be somewhat interested in my coursework for me to pass, for me to graduate. I was high into crime shows growing up. My mom was working as a federal officer. I was around law enforcement and I was, to some degree, a criminal, I never was arrested for selling drugs, but I was pushing Adderall. I was pushing Xanax outside of my little apartment with those three white girls. And I stopped 'cause I got caught over there. But by the time I got to you, Gabby, there was no pills to sell, so I'm glad you didn't see that part of me. I really, 'cause I think you would've been like, "No, I'm not fucking with her." (laughing) You definitely would've been like, "I'm not fucking with her, she's crazy." Oh my God, I'm sure there's been moments where you're just from like, "She is nuts." I think we've all been there though. I feel like regardless of mental illness or whatever the case is, we all have our breaking point of crazy moments. And I mean, I know TV is kind of fabricated, right? But like, you see it all the time. All the time. And I think what we need to do as a society and as people with mental illness is we need to have more compassion for ourselves and for people with mental illness. I was driving to the dispensary the other night and it was on Rose Garden in Deer Valley. I got off the exit and I saw a guy in a wheelchair, a homeless guy nodded off in the side of the road. I think a right across the street is a lady nodded off in the middle of the road. And I screamed and I was just like, what is going on? Because like, in the midst of having to hustle and grind and do your nine to five, make sure your bills are paid. Make sure you exercise, make sure you eat right. Make sure, and then you got social stuff like social media, like are you popular? You got all this stuff running through your head, right? And then you look to your left and then you look to your right and then you see reality, the reality that we're all ignoring. We have an epidemic of fucking drug overdoses. Of fucking drugs. And we have, and I would even argue we have, we've been having this epidemic a long time. I think pornography is a huge problem. - Definitely is. Especially with everything being exposed this year. It's a huge problem. And I want to talk about that, growing up like Puff Daddy, P Diddy, Diddy, he wasn't brother love. I know him as P Diddy. - Yeah, me too. - I don't know who brother love is. I don't even know he changed his name to brother love. But I said this in a previous episode. Like my house are off to Cassie for coming out with a lawsuit saying what she said, alleging that there are tapes in the house that the sex freak offs that they were called allegedly were recorded. Some even alleged that there are celebrities in these tape recordings. I have been thinking about getting on the dark web just to see if I can see something. - I'm sure it's on there. It has to be somewhere, right? Like the fact that he recorded and you know. - And use it for like blackmail and stuff like that. - So it's definitely out there somewhere. It probably would be on the dark web, honestly. Some people are speculating. I was watching Jorah from the other day. They're speculating that it wasn't a raid to find evidence. It was a raid to get rid of evidence. - Oh, that's interesting. - Yeah. - And kind of concerning at the same time, too. - Yeah. - At that point, there's no argument, right? So, wow, that's wild. Because at that point, 'cause I remember how Cassie came out and then recently, and then like other people started coming out. - Oh, yeah. - So he's in his mind, he's probably like, wow, why don't I just destroy all this evidence? 'Cause if all these people wanna come out, then there's gonna be nothing to show for it. - That's really sad. - That's really, really sad. - I think he's on, I think he fucked Usher. I think he fucked Stevie J. I think he fucked, I think he got hit from Chris Brown. I'm just saying what I feel. - Yeah, no, he's definitely touched a lot of people in Hollywood, I mean, 'cause like, there's so many things that are coming out. And even Jamie Foxx, and like, you know, we all loved Jamie Foxx. - And you know-- ♪ We all get caught the phone ♪ ♪ We'll just do something with them and they've done the phone ♪ - That's what I'm saying, like, you know, that's, it's just, it's all these people are popping up and even like, who knows if Justin Bieber, 'cause you know Usher signed Justin Bieber, so who knows if he even got-- - Justin Bieber's having a baby. - Which is crazy. - With her. - Which is crazy. - But, you know, it's just interesting. Like, all this stuff is, and they're even pushing it back further. Like, even with the people that we're not talking about today, like, they're even saying, like, Jermaine Dupree is involved in this stuff. - They're pushing this back in the same early, early, 90s. - Yeah. - Like, even Biggie Smolik, they have put so many names into this. Like, it's way bigger than probably we even could even imagine what they are. - It's beyond my ass, and I'm 29. Like, I'm 28, like, I should be on me. - But it's just, it's sad, and it's crazy. But then again, it's also like, you know, you wonder like, like I said, this whole year everyone's coming out, right? Like, everything's coming out. Like, they had that tape about Nickelodeon, which is that little short from about Nickelodeon, and all of the crazy stuff they went through. - Quiet on set. - Quiet on set, yeah. And like, you know, what all those stars went through, and even like, Drake Bell, and just like, you know, all the different laws, they, you know, they weren't like working with child labor laws. You know, a lot of these kids were manipulated into doing half of the things they were doing, because one, you don't know. I mean, if you're 10 years old, trying to make money for your family, and you're thinking this one time is no big deal, but like-- - You're just happy to be famous. - Yeah. - You're just happy to be on TV. And these kids just have no idea how it's going to affect them later in life. Like, as you get older, you start seeing things. You start noticing, you start like understanding like, wow, that probably wasn't the best thing. But like, it carries with you, right? I just, I don't know. I just feel like being famous at this point is just not worth it. - It's just not worth it. - I would just be humble and rich and quiet to myself, and not even put myself in the spotlight. 'Cause we've all wanted to be there. I mean, when we were growing up-- - At some point in our lives, you've been lying if you ever didn't wish you were famous. - Yeah, like, we've all wanted to be the one way. - We've all been through that. I feel like we've all wished out some more than others. And I think some of us grew out of it, and some of us didn't. - Mm-hmm. - But it's just, it's not worth it with everything coming out. And even that Cat Williams interview. Like when he-- - Jesus. - Went off about all these different celebrities and like, you know, how the, it's just, and it's all true, 'cause what's funny is no one's even like, tried to defend themselves. I mean, they nobody! - Nobody! - But it was in a way of like, trying to make us understand why they did it, not that it was like, oh, I didn't do that, but it was like, let me tell you why this happened, the way it did, because they couldn't fight it, right? - So, and I think the next, the next people to go, which I really, really hope is this year, the Kardashians, they have to go. - Yeah, 'cause they're only real, I mean, and that's the thing, like, they really aren't doing anything. I mean, I'll give Kim some credit, she does have some things going on, like she's partnered, you know, she has her lawyer degree, and she's partnered with the WBA and, you know, all this other stuff. - Yeah, she, I'll wipe her a lawyer degree with my fucking abs. (laughing) - I mean, she's not, she's not a fucking lawyer. She's not a practicing lawyer. She didn't, I don't care what she said, she didn't pass that fucking bar. I don't give a shit. Like, she didn't pass that fucking bar, where, where, where, where. Why isn't she practicing right now? You know, she wouldn't be practicing right now, if she passed that bar. Why is she not practicing? Balenciaga, bullshit. Why isn't she, like, why isn't she freeing people? What's the last time she frees someone? Didn't she frees someone like once a year? Where's her energy at? Skims, okay. (laughing) I will say though, out of all the Kardashians, I said she probably has the most going on. Everyone else though, it's all about, you know, something situational, or it's their mother. It's their mother giving them some kind of change. - You know, it's a real Kardashian dream. She's so cute. (laughing) - Dream got her hair pressed for the first, I saw a video of her, ah, you mad, 'cause Northwest's last name is Wes. (laughing) But yeah, they definitely need to follow off, 'cause if you guys haven't noticed, like, anytime you see something about the Kardashians, especially with, like, Kim, like, it's 'cause of North, 'cause North Kardashian is saying something crazy. - Kim blocked me. - Did she really? - She did. - Oh, wow. - Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what I said, that she blocked me. - Hmm, hmm. - Well, that's interesting. - But, yeah, like, you know, if Northwest isn't doing something crazy, right, or if Courtney's kids aren't acting crazy and blacking out being mad and saying crazy stuff. - Is Courtney just pisses me off, 'cause she's gotta organize her fucking food. I'm like, you're not eating that food. - She's not. - And then she's married to that one guy, who is it? But, the guy from the band? - No, I'm sorry, I'm in Chloe. - Oh, Chloe, okay. Courtney did, is married to Travis Barker. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - Which is wild. - That's wild. - Can we talk about Travis Barker's daughter, Alabama, really quick, haven't seen her? (laughing) - Yeah. - What are your fucking edges? Her baby edges from, from her fucking in stall, her frontal, who told you you needed a frontal? You have the hair we buy. - Yeah, she did. We're trying to buy it from her. Let's talk about it. - Let's talk about it. - I'm like, you're done. - But yeah, they're only relevant 'cause of weird things that happen. It's not even about 'cause of their success. Like, that's what's super annoying about that. I honestly hope they fall off some way, shape, or form. But, you know, as long as you're relevant, you're relevant. - There's this theme going around TikTok. Like, we got to block celebrities, have you heard that? - No. Well, there's just a couple guys. Well, one guy, then a guy like picked with a bigger audience picked on you know what it does. They were like, hey, why don't we start blocking these celebrities so we can stop seeing their advertisements, we can stop seeing their posts, we can stop, who can stop their engagement, we can stop their cash flow. Because what I'm really disappointed in is like, how 50,000 people, or I don't know how many, last time I checked it was like 20,000, mostly women and children. Obviously, I'm on the side of Gaza or whatever. But like, no celebrities except like the weekend and Bella Hadid spoke out. - Yeah. - I mean like, we may not, or I mean I personally like, really liked them and really like rock with them. But, you know, we watched the genocide and we're just gonna pretend like it didn't happen. - Mm-hmm, exactly. That's what it is. - Did we not learn anything in 100 years? - No, of course not. - History repeats itself. - History repeats itself. - History, I was like. - It's just sad. - It's just really, really sad. But I still don't have to say this, it's like they have all of this influence. I attribute the BBLs, the lip fillers, all to the family. - Mm-hmm. - That's what I attributed to because that's what was in our faith. Gabby, when I was a freshman in college, all I would follow were makeup pages. And I had to stop following them because they were all trying to do their makeup like Kylie. And it made me feel so insecure. So I had to fucking stop following them. - That's interesting. Yeah. Wow, I guess, yeah. - I can see that. - 'Cause Kylie Jenner was everywhere. - Yeah, she was. - And we have the same birthday. - It wouldn't make me-- - I knew so much. - It wouldn't make me sad when it was my birthday. And she'd have a big party and like, I just have nobody. - I know. - I know. - That's interesting. I mean, yeah, she's very heavy in the makeup world. I will say that, but it's, but you know, and that's the thing too, like even when these people get like all these, it does start with the family because, you know, if your mom has one or like your mom, like especially like Kylie, like she'll never look like her daughter because of all, like no offense. But like her daughter will never look like her because she has all of this stuff up, right? Like her face is pinned up. She has everything going on. - That's too long. - Yeah, like you'll, like she won't have a lot of resemblance and that's sad. And then that's gonna make her wanna be like, well mom, how I, you know what I mean? And then that's gonna start that next show. - I don't think Stormy looks like her mom or dad. - Yeah, yeah. But that's the thing, like it all starts with the family and like what families do, right? 'Cause kids only, they only do what they see, you know, and see what they hear, right? Like your reflection of your parents. I know the older I get, I sound more and more like my mom and dad every day. - I look at my mom and she started to look like my selfies. - You see, and that's what happens. The older you get, you start, you just have the same mannerism, see the same things. Like it's just interesting how, you know, how things play out the older you get. - So last night I was like, damn, I'm fucked up. I turned out fucked up. It's okay, I'm fixing myself. 'Cause I've been on this journey of like, healing trauma and I talked about it in the last episode. But like I'm like, and then I'm like, who am I to blame? I'm like, you can blame your mom. She raised you. - And then I was just like, all right. And I was like, no, I'm going to take accountability. Like, at some point-- - It's you, but then it's also your surroundings. - Yeah, like, and that, and surroundings doesn't have to be in the neighborhood you live in. It could be your family. It could be anything that surrounds you. It doesn't have to be just your fucking friends. You are the average of your five friends. I wish I had five friends. - Even your schooling, like, I know I didn't have the best high school growing up. I know like right before I was going to leave my high school, but they were on the verge of losing their predication. - My show is ghetto. - So, you know, it's all about your surroundings, who you're with, your family, like who you interact with and what you interact with the most. That makes a huge, that plays a huge part in like what you pick up. And then as you go on, right, you'll learn from your mistakes. You'll see that probably wasn't the best idea, but-- - Not everybody learns from the mistakes. - No, that's true. Not everyone does. - Only the strong help me stop. (laughing) - But no, it's true. Like, there's just so much more into it. I feel like, oh God. - So, God, we'd drop this up. Like, what's your five-year plan? - Honestly, my five-year plan, I've been studying Amazon FBA, which so far has been going pretty good. Like, I'm kind of new into it, but like, I'm getting a sale every day. And that's like a baby step to like, what I'm trying to get to, right? So like, my five-year plan is to rack up on this Amazon that I'm doing, hopefully, maybe as my, 'cause I'm trying to document my journey as I go, maybe even start like a social media page at something. - Yeah. - Like with me documenting like how I'm doing and like what I've learned and like, you know, tips and tricks on what, and maybe even make a guide. Like, and then escalate my business to a point where I'm making passive income. Like, I want to get a house very soon. Like, I definitely want to start a family soon. Like, there's a lot of things that, you know, I have planned for myself and I think, I just turned 30 this year. So 30, like when you hit 30, you have this weird thought. Like, something hits you where you're like, what am I gonna do with my life? Like, you feel like you're almost done. Like, you know, you don't want to retire when you're 65 and it's like, you know, it's like, you start thinking of what you don't have and what you should have, right? And like, what you should prioritize and what, you know, you've been slacking on. So. - Do you feel like when you turn 30, do you feel like you turned around and looked at your 20s and like, like what are some things in your 30s? That, what are some things in your 20s that set you up for success? Dude, what'd you say? If there was anything? 'Cause I know my 20s are like a crazy time. - Yeah, 20s, you're trying to get your life together. You're trying to figure out who you are, what you want to be, like, how you want to just, but then again, you're also trying to live your life, right? Like, some people are super sheltered, right? 'Til they're 18. Like, I think of Katy Perry, how she came from the super religious family and then when she broke off, she went crazy, right? Like, sometimes you need that time to find yourself and see and live on your own and learn who you are as a person, right? So I feel like my 20s kind of definitely molded me into what I want to be. I've had so many, you know, ups and downs and so many different things that, you know, you learn through and you grow through, right? Luckily there weren't anything that were long-term, so thank God for that. But, you know, I feel like, I think my biggest wins is, I mean, obviously going to calls, I did finish that, like, regardless of how bogus it is at some point, like, being able to actually go through it and get it in the world. It's not for the week. Yeah, it's not. And being able to walk, like, that's a huge accomplishment, I feel like, regardless of, you know, how I feel about it now. It was a huge accomplishment. And then just being able to, you know, I've had internships, I've had jobs that have, you know, moved me in directions to where I can kind of do a limit of everything, but in the field that I'm in, I feel very solid in what I do, which is really great. - Let's go. - So, I feel like the jobs that I've had have been really successful and helped me get to this job that I'm starting on Monday, which is awesome. - Congratulations again. - You know, I just feel like that's a stepping stone for me. And, you know, it also shows me, like, it also gave me a perspective of life is super short. Like, people say it all the time and you kind of blow it off in your 20s. You're like, yeah, I'm gonna do, you know, you're gonna just do whatever you wanna do. But, I feel like when you hit 30, it's almost like, oh crap, I don't have that much time. - I'm going through that right now. I'm going through that right now. I'm like telling myself, I'm like, okay, like I asked you your five-year plan. Oh, I forgot to finish your five-year plan, by the way. But, like, I was telling myself, I'm like, life is short, what do you wanna do? Stop thinking about the past. Stop dwelling over the past and just move forward. And stop telling yourself you're old. Stop telling yourself, like, you don't have time or it's gonna take too much time or it's that's for young people. Or something like that, something in that variation. So, I'm going through that. But, like, after, you know, what else did you wanna do in the next five years? - Well, get a house, it's a big one. So, getting a house, like, I would love to start a family sometime soon, like, you know, and just be able to travel. Like, before the pandemic, traveling was a huge thing for me. Like, I used to love going everywhere, right? And, you know, when you hit 30, you think you don't have so much time. And then it's like, then you start having kids. It's like, that's 18 years gone, right? - Oh, shit. - And, like, if another one is shit. - It's another 18 years gone. And I know, like, when I have my kids, it'll be so hard for me to even wanna distance. I mean, I think, especially in the beginning, I don't wanna distance myself, right? I'm gonna be super annoying, I'm already knowing. So, you know, being able to travel and, like, see the world, 'cause the world is big, but it's also really small at the same time. - It's really small. If you just keep going west, past California, you're gonna land in China. - Exactly. - And, you know, Russia's actually not that we're going to Russia, don't go to Russia again, it's not going to Russia. But, you know, Alaska used to be a part of Russia. - I'll suck you dick. - For, for fun fact reference. Literally, Alaska used to be a part of Russia. It broke off and moved closer to us than we, the United States bought it. And so, you know, if you do go to Alaska, just so you'll see a lot of, like, Russian interests. - A lot of, a lot of antics. But, you know, if you fly from Alaska to Russia, it's only six hours. Like, it's, like, and then you think about going to Japan or, like, you know, it may take a long time, but, like I said, the world is so small, and then you start meeting people and you're like, wow, this is a really small world. So, you know, I just feel like at 30, I just kind of, I guess, I wanna really, like, hone in everything I've gone through, right, and kind of, like, move forward and start thinking of, like, what do I really need? And, like, also think about what you have, right? Like, I'm grateful, I'm at homeless, I'm grateful that, you know, they have somewhere to stay, and I have a car, and I can drive, like, there are so many things that could be so much worse in the position that I'm in, right? So, I'm not saying, like, everything's been horrible in my 20s, but I kind of wish I would've taken things a little bit more seriously back in my 20s. But then again, when you're 20, that's not, I feel like you should live your life at some point, and that's under my 20. So, I'm not gonna regret it. But my biggest thing right now is just, you know, I want to get up, my biggest step is getting a house and just having a family, and then I also want to travel a bit more, like, I want to set myself up for, like, retirement, and, you know, I don't want to be working till I'm 65. - That is not-- - I don't want to be working till I'm-- - That's not, like, I don't want to be working until I am, to be honest, I don't want to be working and past 55. - I don't want to have the way till my retirement check comes in for me to-- - And who knows who's probably gonna have my 401k by the time I get there? You know what I mean? - Right, right. - I don't want to wait that long. Like, I'm trying to set myself up to where, you know, I'll be good by 50, 50 would be good. Like, I don't want to retire, I just, I want to have a really nice, I want to work hard so I can live my life when I want to, you know, if that makes sense. - Right, and as someone with mental illness, it's hard to work hard to set yourself up for success because it's like, this would be the time to do it, right, in your 20s. But, like, they don't, like, as someone with mental illness, I didn't anticipate that how much more of the weight of the world I was going to feel because I am bipolar. And so I have to, like, train more to live life, if that makes sense, I have to-- - If life had a gym, you know, I'm in there more than the average person just to get through the day because I have bipolar and it's frustrating. But, like, with my five-year plan, I obviously, I want to take this podcast from a audio only to video and audio I want to have, I want to invite guests that are local, guests that are, I want to be able to fly them in. - Oh, right, yeah. - You know what I mean? Yeah, I want to have a studio that I can go to 'cause I don't want to live with this in my home, you know? Nothing, it's bad, but, like, for the first three years, it's just been me and this phone, like this. - But it's been working. - It's been working. - Exactly, it's been reaching people and, like, you know, people really like it and, like, you know, I'm the only Black, like, female podcaster, Black, that whole podcaster, that's for sure. - I haven't heard of any of those. - I haven't had a nope, nope, and, like, so I want to buy a house in the next five years, and then I want to figure out who I am and what I want. That's what I want in the next five years to have that set in stone. Because I realized, oh shit, before 30, because, like, I realized, like, I don't really know who I am without weed and drugs. - Yeah, yeah, it's a whole different feeling. - It's a whole different feeling because having that identity, like, all my friends were, it was, like, I hung out in a Scooby-Doo van all the time. - Yeah, I can see that. - Yeah, you know? And I'm in this arrested development. I'm getting my hair done on the 25th, 'cause I'm just tired of looking like a kid sometimes. And, like, I'm tired of listening to music that I listen to when I was a kid all the time, 'cause I'm stuck there, 'cause that's when I started using drugs. - Mm-hmm. - So, I'm just glad I have you as a normal friend. - I'm not that normal. - But you're not a crack, that's for sure. - No, no, no, no. You know, and even though, like, we smoke weed, you're not a crackhead with it. You know what I mean? Like, I am. (laughing) - That's so funny. - Like... - Yeah, but Gabby, thank you for coming on the "Man in Canada" podcast. It was awesome. - Thank you, happy. - I loved how you hoped to have me back on again. - Of course. - And something, hey, of shit with Diddy goes down, we'll be here to break it down. - Oh my God. - And that's not gonna go any time soon. - No, it's not. You don't have your wine machine go out of jail. - Diddy, really? - He did. I know, it's the same face, I know. - Okay. - Okay, well, good morning, good evening, good afternoon, good night. Thank you for listening, my friends, and I bid you a deal. Bye-bye.