(crowd cheering) Yeah, this message is sponsored by Greenlight as your kids get older. Some things about parenting get easier here. Man, you can say that again. As a father of three, don't I know it. Others don't, like having that conversation about money. The fact is, kids won't really know how to manage their money, and so they're actually in charge of it. That's where Greenlight can help. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families. Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving while kids and teens build money, confidence, and lifelong financial literacy skills. With the Greenlight app, kids learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely thanks to games that teach kids money skills in a fun, accessible way. Yeah, and I've actually used this before with the Greenlight app. Kids can learn how to save, invest, and spend wisely, like you said. 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Greenlight.com/drinkinbros. (upbeat music) - Welcome to Drinking Bros. Presented by ghostbed.com. Sit back, relax it, grab a fucking drink. - Yeah, welcome to Drinking Bros. Kids. Tuesday afternoon, I'm on one today. I feel wild today. Those are our guests. Those are our guests today. You walked in and you said, "I got a fucking huge dick." - No, I didn't. - Yeah, just exactly what you said. Man, I got a real fucking huge dick and I was like, "No idea what that has to do with the show." - I said, "PhD's think they're right 'cause they have a pretty huge dick, but I'm just an M.A." - What's an M.A.? - Masters. - Oh, so you don't have a huge dick? - Apparently not. - All right, well, I mean, do you? You're the one walking around with it all goddamn day. - It's about sufficient size. - And what's efficient for you? - Sufficient. - Sufficient. - What's sufficient for you? - Average. - Average? - Yeah. - You just wanna be average in the world and do you wanna be better than that? - Sometimes you wanna be better. - Yeah, you do. You got a better than average mustache. I can tell you that. - I appreciate that. - I like that goddamn thing. Now, hog-wise, don't know 'cause I can't see it. We'll see you on Patreon today. Well, we'll get to that. - Are you sure? Are you sure he's gonna pull his dick out today? - Well, it was a short that I was gonna see someone's dick. I'm the one with the gun. - Okay. - So yeah, I think I have the ability to assure that. - Have you ever held a gun to a man's head and made him pull out his dick? - Technically, yes. But not in the way you're talking about, right? It was to search the man. - Are we on Patreon today, Bob? - We are, okay. - What could you possibly be looking up right now? - Oh, oh. - After this opening salvo. - Ah, don't worry about it. Bob, I'm gonna text this. I don't want you to put this on screen for our fine gentleman here. - For fuck's sake. - Since he wouldn't pull out his dick. - Oh, no. - And he keeps talking about it. - You're gonna show us your dick? - I'm not gonna show you my dick. I think everybody's seen my dick at this point, I think, over the years, nine years, everybody's seen my dick. This is somebody else's dick that was fun. And they were like, hey, you guys do the memes on Patreon during the Monday show. Could you please include this one? And I looked at it and I was like, what the fuck are you know I can't show this? But this is for him who, you wanna talk about a dick? This guy actually pulls out his dick and does something. - Have you seen that Mexican dude who's dick is so big he has to like Saran rap it to his fucking leg? - Yeah, I saw that guy, I saw the other guy with the dumpster nuts, the wheelbarrow nuts. - Oh, this is stupid. I'm sure you probably saw this on Twitter yesterday. - I don't think he has, dude. I don't think he has. - So it's a guy at a gas station. - Go ahead and play it for him. - I think it might be South America somewhere. - Oh, Jesus Christ. - And he's just- - What? Oh no, is that Italy? - Not sure, but that guy's got a fucking hog on him. So he's got a hog, but he also had diesel up his ass. - Well, he had a gas pump up his asshole and at the gas station, I respect it. Is it weird? Look at that motion there, pause it right there, Bob. There you go. I respect that. - He just slid it in. - Very easily. It's like- - Like it just slides out. - Slides out, yeah. - Oh man. - He doesn't even clean it off when he puts it back. - Sure doesn't. - Somebody else is gonna fill up their car with that guy's asshole juice. - That guy's dick is like all head too. He's got like a four inch head. - It's a, I mean, look, it's a good dick. I just don't know why he's out. It's public at a gas station. - It's a big dick. I don't know if it's a good dick. - So is your dick that big? Yes or no? - Let's not get into it. - Why? Let's do get into it today, dude. - Well, he's actually here to talk about the Roman Empire. How big was Caesar's dick? - We don't know. - We don't know. We do think that he had epilepsy though, right? - That's true. - So what does that mean? That he was choking on his own dick? - He had seizures a lot. - Seizures or seizures? - Either way. - Either way. - Maybe that's where the name came from. - Maybe. - Julius seizure. - And he was like, man, stop calling me, dawg. - Caesar. - Yeah. - Caesar motherfucker. - It's like a fucking weird hero arc or villain, I suppose. Was Caesar a hero or a villain? - I think that really depends, right? Because I think if you look at it now, the way people want to compare it to people, he could be perceived as a villain, but at the same time, the people that hated him were just the other powerful rich people during his time period. So at the same time, popular people saw him as a hero, and it was just the Senate that saw him as a villain. - What about Trump then? - Well, there's been a lot of comparisons. Time magazine specifically has tried to say, you know, is Donald Trump the new Caesar? And frankly, I think they're full of shit, because I think what we're actually looking at is a lot of the problems we're suffering from here today in America, were actually Rome's late third century. So you're looking at, they had a massive immigration problem, they had a massive inflation problem. - What do you mean, late third, put a year on that? Like actually? - So we're looking at like the year 210 to like 284, like in that time period. - 80 or BC? - 80. - Okay, I don't do that, I don't do BCE. - Yeah, I don't do it, it's full history, I don't do that, so yeah. But we're looking at like that time period of like, so they had 15,000% inflation. They had this massive immigration problem. And then they had a central power problem, because what was happening is these generals called, they called themselves barrack emperors, that's where the word military barracks comes from, would raise an army and attack everybody else and decoy themselves emperor. So there were 47 different emperor claimants in the third century. So it was just a total mess. Now we don't have that, but we have inflation run wild, we have immigration run wild, and we don't really have a great central power situation here in America. - So maybe that is why Eric Adams went to Rome yesterday, you know? That's real, we showed that clip yesterday. - You got to defend a border? - He said, well no, he said, 'cause he's a mayor in New York City, but he said we're having a migrant issue, and I'm going over there to chat with him about the migrants, and I was like, the fuck you gonna learn from him? How do we go? - You know what Vatican City did? But it was a goddamn wall. - Sure did, sure did, you can't touch that pope, you can't sniff that guy's balls. - Well, maybe for a plenary indulgence. - Yeah. - If you pay him. - For somebody like me who's, I don't give a shit about history beyond 200 years, like I'm all good on it, 'cause I can't go back and do anything about it, so I'm like, cool man. I can smell it, and I'm good, like I'm fine. 200 is about where I live. What was the end result there? - So the end result is in 284, this new emperor comes in called Diocletian. He was most likely Serbian, that's like the part of the world he would have come from. He does these famous reforms, where he starts minting new money, he handles the immigration issue by basically putting half of the army on the borders and then half of the army actually in Rome. And he also divides the empire in two between East and West. So it gives it stability for about 200 years before a lot of the same problems keep coming and the empire falls again. So I guess the reason I think it's really important is because if we handle our money, which if we get on hard currency, it's gonna be painful as shit for a while, but it would fix things. And if we handle immigration, it's gonna be a big deal too, because that third century in 212 emperor Karakala actually takes everybody in the Roman provinces and gives them citizenship. So it destroys this idea of citizenship and we're looking at these same problems if we don't handle a lot of this shit now. - Yeah, for me, we'll start with the currency issue. A lot of places, and I was telling Dan this about six months ago, in particular in Austin. And I'm not sure around the country, if they're doing the same thing or if it's just Austin, but a lot of these businesses are going cashless. So like, I'm seeing the sign everywhere. We don't take cash, we don't take cash. Take my kids to the movies every weekend. They don't take any cash over there. Three places over the last week that I've been, restaurant-wise, and one was a clothing store. They don't take cash either. I don't know if that's on purpose or just out of the ease of comfort and, you know, availability that you just flip up. - It's easier to inflate what people don't hold, right? Like if you look at it, money's all ones and zeros. It's in a computer somewhere. And that's one of the major issues that they were having in the Roman Empire. People didn't trust money anymore. The main purpose of coins was actually to pay the military. So if the military doesn't trust the money they're being given anymore, well, what are they gonna fight for? And that's what happens in the last couple hundred years. So here, we've been off of gold since the Nixon administration. So it's been a really long time. The money's been over-inflated. So to get back on some sort of hard currency would help us, but it's gonna be painful as hell for a while. But getting a self-cash allows them to keep doing what they're doing, right? It allows them to keep printing more money to solve a problem and we just go deeper and dead. Nobody cares. - Well, there was no opportunity for a central bank digital currency in the Roman Empire either, right? - That's true. - Which is a, this is going to be an even, I guess, deeper centralization of the power of the federal government to control currency, which is a big problem, right? - 'Cause a huge problem. - They're clearly incompetent. - Well, at the same time, like they're gonna know everything you could spend money on, they're gonna know everything, they're gonna know every place you've been, and let's say, you know, Dan, it looks like you were a bad guy this week, we're gonna shut your money off. Like those type of things are doing in China right now, they could hear. - Yeah. And that wasn't a thing back then. I mean, look, you, a piece of copper or piece of gold is, doesn't matter whose face is printed on it, people are gonna take it, right? - Well, you could just move too, right? You could go someplace else. They wouldn't know who you were. - Yeah, which is essentially what's happening here. You get tired of a city, you ruin it, and then you can just move somewhere else and be like, well, that's somebody else's problem, that city, have fun and fuck off. - Yeah. - Which is odd to me. The weird thing, you're talking about the East and the West, that's what I said on Monday's show. - What's that? - That America needed a hard reset, and if we all switched to East and West based on ideals, just as a test to see what would happen for 100 years, and if people would wanna switch sides at the end of it, on both sides, by the way, right or left, and try to fit in and see what the ideals were, just to test out which country would actually thrive under the models that were both wanting. - Well, I think the problem with that too, and if you look at America as like, you look at the way the Civil War started, it was like, north and south. We don't really have that type of division anymore. What we really have is cities versus states. You know, I'm from New Jersey, and most of New Jersey is really red, except like five cities, and they control the entire state. - Well, they also control the election. - Yeah. - So, Biden won, what, 2020 in Jersey? - Yeah. - It's a, you know, the Wildwood situation over the weekend, there was 80 to 100,000 people there for Trump. I haven't seen that in a while, which is just like, holy shit, as I used to own a house in New Jersey for years and years and years, and I love it. I love New Jersey, for real. Like, I'm actually one of those right now. I'm like the one person who was like, "I like Jersey, I like the Jersey shore and everything else." Newark, I could do without, and probably Patterson in New Jersey, you can get rid of those two, but the rest of it's pretty nice, and it's a pleasant place to live. - Well, they don't have any industry left either. That's the whole problem. - That's the other part about it, right? So, that's what's causing people to be poor, or move to other places, and all that other shit. - Well, so we're in, we are in something of an information economy now, but it's an information economy that's propped up by a service economy, right? Which means that very, like the bulk of Americans are never gonna have any real wealth at any point, particularly because of the housing crisis that's going on right now. We're more and more, like we're on an avalanche from a home ownership to rental, or one rental ship, right? And there's no way to stop it, I don't think. We'll see, but I don't think there's anybody to stop it. - And there's not enough supply of either. - Correct. - Yeah, we have less homes than we need to sell, because properties are being bought, and condos are being built on them, or apartment complexes, or whatever the fuck. Now, it's interesting because so many people are working from home now, so they're not going to the office, and they're just sitting in their home that they don't own anymore, right? - Yeah. - It's a very bizarre situation, but to his point about New Jersey, this is the case in a lot of places, you need the bulk of your population to be generating revenue, to be a successful economy, and that's true. That's why, for a while, you can speak more to this, but there was a point where Rome started to not ban slavery, I don't think, but mitigate slavery to some degree, because Friedman couldn't find work anymore. - Well, it wasn't a sense, so I don't know as much about that, but I do know, in 212 with them, making everyone a citizen, the problem with citizenship is, everyone was allowed to have free grain, because they wanted to feed everybody in the empire. So you have this problem of all these social programs, like we're facing now, right? We're paying for people that aren't working, we're paying for people that aren't doing things. The government is funding people just to exist, and that becomes a major problem, because then people aren't contributing. I think when you look at the definition of citizenship, that's also a problem, and I think what we have coming across the border now as well, you look at that to those people identify as Americans, while they're getting a lot of benefits, they're getting a lot of different things, but they don't really have any buy-in to the system, and I think that's the issue of, in 212 giving everybody citizenship, or giving people free services, is they're getting stuff, but they don't buy into this system, and I think I often have the argument with people where they talk about the richest people doing whatever it may be, but those rich people give other people jobs, and I think people don't understand, it's not the government that gives you work, it's entrepreneurs, people busting their ass and making companies that give other people work, and we can't just be a central system pulling social works off of everything. - Yeah, and the question is, what do you do besides a hard reset that makes it uncomfortable for everybody, going back to what you said about that? - I mean, I can't imagine how we would reset currency. - At this point, other than a gold standard, but what are you gonna do? - Well, let me ask you this, and this is a serious question here, because a lot of people don't know it, and I don't know it, which is why I'm asking guys that are smarter than me. We're, what, 34 trillion in debt? Who owns that debt, and what if we just stopped paying it? Because right now, it seems like an NBA salary cap. It does, where it's like, all right, well, LeBron's still gonna get three other superstars to play under this imaginary salary cap. Who owns that 34 trillion, and then what would happen as a nation if we just said, we're not paying it back? - So this is an old chart, but the rates are similar. This is from 2014 where we had 18 trillion in debt. - So we've doubled it in the last 10 years? - Yes. - Okay. - And it's gonna double faster, because we're adding one trillion per 90 days now. - We keep giving money away to people too, so that's not helping either. - Yeah, so federal accounts, and that usually means, like for a very long time, Social Security had been loaning money to a bunch of other government programs, and I think that's over now. I think they got repaid all their money, and now they're operating in the red as well. But federal accounts account for 28% of that, so just over a quarter. International investors, that would be the China's and such, right? - Yeah. - 34%, the bulk. And by the way, the US treats these expenditures, the payments on the debt are considered part of the military spending. It's defense spending, right? It's how we pay back debt. Domestic private investors is 15%, and then the federal reserve that exists for some fucking reason is 13%, that we've, and then this, by the way, and then state local governments 13% as well, and then whatever other means is 5%. So we loan, a lot of it is to ourselves, technically speaking, right? But to answer your question about what would happen if we defaulted on these, then our credit rating as a country would get downgraded, and then OPEC would make a move to remove the dollars the US, or the world reserve currency, that's what would happen. - Would be fucked if that happened? - Why? - Well, they want to do it because they want control. In the same way that in the 1950s to 70s, they shed the British Iranian oil company, OPEC solidified itself. A lot of these countries that Britain and the US were trying to make deals with to shore up their oil reserves, like Iran, Iraq, both of those countries, and some of the ones they actually were able to secure, told them to go fuck themselves, basically, we're gonna do this ourselves. They reclaimed their oil fields and kicked the foreign people out. And when I say foreign people, I don't mean the US government and Amaco and these other companies that were drilling over there, they told them to fuck off and it's us now. And that's where OPEC came from, and that's why we're in wars in the Middle East all the time now. - But why couldn't we just drill here? Because we have plenty of oil and then get the fuck out of OPEC altogether. - Yeah, we could do that. - That's a really good point and we should be. - Why aren't we? 'Cause all these solutions, we've talked about it somewhere. - But that's what I'm saying. We've talked about this for the last couple of weeks on the show, 'cause everybody's going through this right now, everybody's feeling this pinch. And you're trying to ask yourself what the solution is. And I don't know the answer because that seems simple. Great, man, drill here. More jobs for us, more money for us, the oil will be cheaper for us. Get out of the fucking Middle East, let them blow each other up. That seems like the easiest solution if we have it. - What do you remember that? - You guys say we do, right? - Do you remember that cartoon back in the day, I think it was like a goddamn owl or something teaching people like how a bill becomes law? They were full of shit. Here's how a bill really becomes law. A special interest group of lobby, right? Like the Koch brothers lobby or like the teachers union, they write something called model legislation, right? And they pass it off to their government friends and they go, "Hey, you'll get this bill passed." That's how it really works. And to get it passed, they have to get the whip, right? The person that whips the vote on the majority side, typically, sometimes on the minority side as well, they have to get the person who whips the vote who is a fucking conduit for all of the fuckery in DC. And they have to go around to all the people, all the people that get a vote and be like, "Hey, what do you need to vote for this?" Essentially, and they start bribing people and paying them off, right? With jobs in their district or fucking cash payouts or we'll give you a seat on the board of this company when you leave Congress or whatever. That's how it works. That's how a bill is really-- - Well, that's all the bullshit with the stupid government shutdown because that's how they take the rest of us and they scyop us because they take these bills he's talking about that are spending bills and they do what's called an omnibus. That's what I take all the bills and combine them and because everybody's got some pork in it, they're basically voting on it just to pass it because everybody wants their little piece of it. That's the problem, man. You got to get individual spending bills so we're actually deciding where money's going and at the same time, you're saying like, "Why can't we just drill here?" Well, somebody somewhere is making money off of it and that's what you have to figure out is who in our government is making money off of that. - Like Italian, Boeing, Lockheed, General Dynamics, Northern Grumman, so on. All of these companies are making billions. That's just follow the trajectory of Dick Cheney's career. - Yeah. - He goes from Congressman to Secretary of Defense to, I don't know, the CEO of Halliburton, right? Then Vice Presidency and he starts, one, he presides over the largest expansion of the federal government in the security state in the history of this country until he starts a 25 fucking year long war, basically, for no apparent reason. He's a good example of how it all works but there's micro Dick Cheney's all throughout government. That's how it operates there, right? So it's like, this is a problem. - But it's two classes of people too, right? And I think that's the problem, is you look at the political class and everybody else. Either, you know, once a regular person gets there, they either catch him on a sex tape somewhere or they have something because otherwise these people wouldn't vote like they do, or they're just corrupt. So they don't vote for things they have to live with, like the rest of us do. - Like, I talk about Thomas Massey all the time, right? - Yeah. - He's a libertarian, people like to call him stupid a lot and he's got a graduate degree from MIT. I think that means you're dumb, right? - Yeah, you're really dumb. - Is that in a third 21st chromosome to make you retarded? That's my understanding of science. Now he, so APAC, the lobby for Israel in America, just spent $300,000 on an ad campaign trashing him because he refuses to vote to send money there. And that's legal somehow. It's legal in this country for a foreign government to lobby against a sitting member of Congress, right? That should be impossible. That should not be possible, right? So this is the, what, I say it all the time, this is what James Lindsay calls the Iron Law of Woke Projection. This, even over the weekend, the former musician from, whatever that, what's that Irish band? - You two? - No, no, the folk band. - Oh, Mumford and Sons. - Mumford and Sons, so one of the former guys, he just lit Nancy Pelosi up right to her face and accused her, like all the shit you're talking about, right now being like J6 and all this other stuff being treason, you did the exact same thing in 2016, you said that that election was not real and she goes, it wasn't real. And everybody just like, everybody starts laughing because it's a fucking joke, but it's not a joke because they are literally in charge of this country. - Yeah, and I was talking to Bob before the show earlier about, remember a few weeks back, we were talking about Ukraine and Trump and how he had said something about, I forget what the exact quote was, about giving money to Ukraine potentially or something like that. - It says to me alone. - Right, and it said, we were trying to figure out why. Well today, speaker Mike Johnson, is that his fucking trial in New York City right now? So like, everybody needs one of these shit bags for something and it's never ending. It's never fucking ending here. So he's sitting in court today with him, did a fucking speech outside the goddamn courtroom Mike Johnson did with him today and it's like, all right, well, if he stays in power long enough 'cause we didn't know if he was gonna do that. I thought he'd be thrown out of there after that vote and that didn't happen, but you need one of these shit bags to pass this shit bag thing to do the other shit bag thing and there's no ending to it. - Well, it's, as George Carlin liked to say, it's a big club and you ain't in it, right? - Yeah. - They're all like fucking circle jerk and each other all the time, but you're not, you don't have access to that. I'd love to see it. - So then how do we fix that? That's the question I have because-- - We end the federal government entirely, right? - That and I think most of these problems are pretty solvable. I think immigration-- - Are they solvable with the people that we have in place to-- - No, not right now, but if you look at the basic issues we have as Americans, let's just take, the two biggest ones are immigration and financial right now, you know? Immigration, and shut down the border. - Yeah. - Hard stop on it's, I told the gabbers on the show a couple of weeks ago, I said 10 years. She said I think five maybe would be a soft landing or something like that. - You're saying a ban on immigration for that period of time? - Yes. - And let's figure out who the fuck is here and why. The people that were in those terrorists that Dan was talking about, the Chinese nationals and all that other shit, get them the fuck out of here, ASAP. Get everyone out of here. - I think that's an important point too, 'cause are you familiar with Katherine Englebright from True The Vote? - No. - So she was on Tucker about a month ago and she talked about, I think it's US Title 18, you'd have to look up the exact code, but it's like US Title 18 something. So for, you can, in America, and they just changed us within the last year. And illegal can vote as long as at the time that they vote, they think they're a legal citizen. - Oh, yeah, so I heard something about that. - It's like 18 USA or something like that. - Yeah, they're trying to get that past, I think, right now, but thus far they've been unsuccessful. But then they're trying these IDs where you get a passport to try to fool people in some of these cities and all this other shit. They're trying to work on a bunch of it right before the election. - Well, let's look back into the past a little bit because, again, like you mentioned, this is a third, fourth century Roman issue as well. - Exactly, so what do they do with immigration? - Yeah, well, when they conferred citizenship on people and deluded citizenship, how do you recover from that, I guess, is the question. - Well, the major reason is why did Caracala do it? And because if you were a citizen and not a citizen, your taxes were different. If you became a citizen and you died, the Roman government automatically took the bulk of your money, they could tax your inheritance. So that's why he's doing it because he needs to handle, well, I need more money to pay the military because that's where my power comes from. So the thing that they actually had to do was divide up the military, basically have part of the military protecting the cities and part of the military and the border to protect who was coming in. So that was the major thing that they did, but at the same time, there were so many immigrants in Rome, like it had destroyed a lot of the industry and things like that too. So that is also something that they didn't really recover from because then from the 400s on, there's barbarian invasions. You have 410 that Rome has sacked and it's hit in many times after that. So it doesn't really recover. And the Eastern Roman Empire, the right reason it survives is number one, Constantinople is hard as shit to attack because you can only wait and get theirs by boat. And then the other thing as well is it had the richer tax base. There's more money in Egypt, there's more money in Syria and areas like that in this point in time. So it literally just survives because they have more tax money they can pull from people. - They were also providing quite a bit of grain, I think, to mainland Italy. If you wanna call it mainland Italy, like to Rome, I guess. - Why were so many immigrants trying to get into Italy in Rome? - Same reason they're doing it here, work. - Yeah, work. - Is that what it is? - To work to live protection because you have to look at there's tribes fighting in this period of time. So a lot of them will come to-- - I mean, on all sides, right. - Yeah, nice to lie. - Egypt was probably one of the safer places to be honest, but if you're talking about the Germanic tribes or Gaul or fucking the Celts or-- - It's all northern really, right? Like it's all up that, right? - I also, I don't think this was happening then, but the later immigration crises were because the Huns were right behind them or the Goths are right, but were right, so they were coming and then the people in the area is getting invaded first for like, "I need to get the fuck out of here." And then-- - When late in late 5th century Rome, actually like one of the reasons it survived so long is because I told the Hun dies. He has a wedding feast, he drinks way too much, he has a really young bride, which they have whatever night it is they had and he doesn't wake up the next day. - He got fucked to death, that's what he's saying. He drank and fucked to death. - Really? - Which is not the craziest way that leaders died back then. Apparently there's a whole list of Roman emperors who died when they were pissing. - There's a few, so there's Caracalla, because you have to think about it. When somebody gets off a horse, right, they really can't do much about it, they're really defenseless. So Caracalla gets off his horse to take a piss, his troops kill him. You have a really in, gets off his horse to take a piss, his troops kill him. Because people, their emperors are in a time period, they're gonna be in fear of the guys that they're actually, you know, have fighting for them. Because any one of them would kill the other one to get to take their job. - Yeah. - So they actually die while taking a piss. - I wouldn't get off the horse, they just piss on my horse. - Yeah, like Reginald Denny, stay in that fucking truck. - Yeah, stay in the fucking truck bro. - Or you could die like Commodus, Commodus they try to kill him by poisoning his wine, but they get him so drunk he throws up all the wine. So then his wife, who really didn't like him, hires a wrestler and the wrestler strangles in the death. - Oh, do you think it was Macho Me and Randy Savage? - Oh, yeah, yeah, brother. - He's just like talking shit to Commodus. - Cool, cool, cool. - We should make that movie with somebody playing Randy Savage and then just bring back walking Phoenix for Commodus again. - It'd be great. - Yeah, it'd be great. - He's a little bit old for it. Now I think Commodus died in like 28 or something Denny. - There's a new gladiator coming out of Christmas, so. - Yeah, I mean the first one was a great movie, but nothing in it is historically accurate. - Nah, not one thing. - No one thing. - No one thing. - No, not one goddamn thing in nobody. - Nobody cares. - You know, nobody cares. - But Commodus entertaining, I think it's a better story. - I don't think there's even a rumor that Commodus killed Marcus Aurelius, right? - No, he just dies of old age. - Yeah. - He was like 82 or something I think? - I don't know his exact age, but like he's the last of what are called the Five Good Emperors. And the reason that they have an average reign of about 20 years, and because what they would do is in the Roman time period, you could adopt the closest qualified person to you and be like, so you're my son now. And we're not actually my son, but you're my son now. That's the next rule that would happen. He's the first one of those five to break that. And then he names his really spoiled son, Commodus Emperor, 16. - Yeah, which by the way, some of the better emperors, even let's say 100, 200 years before that, Augustus was Caesar's nephew. He wasn't his real kid. And then Tiberius, I believe was Augustus's adopted son. - Yeah, he was Livius son. - Yeah. So, you know. - Sounds fun. - It was about like a lot of the emperors decided what, like this is why I think that a monarchy can work if it's done correctly, right? Like a constitutional monarchy can work. If you choose the right successor, right? - Yeah. - Like it shouldn't, it certainly shouldn't be about somebody in your fucking family. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? 'Cause that's, you get Commodus. You get fucking Nero for Christ's. - Well, you get like Imbreeds too. Like you look at somebody like, like Caligula, like the guy was nuts. - Caligula. - He was, yeah. - His name Caligula actually comes from little boot because he was likely kicked in the head by a soldier and little boot is where the name Caligula comes from. And he was just nuts. And you have to look at like, how many of these guys are Imbreed? Like how much of that are you getting? Because these families would just intermarry. And you're probably not getting the best of the litter when you're doing that. - Yeah. - Yeah. By the way, gladiator, great film. - Yeah. - Like it better than the real story you just told me. I didn't need to go and read about any of that bullshit. Like at all. - Well, Marcus. - I'm a movie summed it up for me. - I think a movie, or it would probably be better like a series like that John Adams series about Marcus Cerrois would be really interesting. Because he is an intrinsically interesting man. Kind of intellectually almost a pacifist to some degree, but he was fighting war as a conquest the whole goddamn time he was there, right? He's like a philosopher writing books and shit. And he's like, by the way, let's go kill all these fucking people. - Yeah, but at the same time, you look at that, his decision to name his son is probably one of the things that dooms the empire. - Oh yeah, 100%. - It takes hundreds of years to get there, but you know. - What do you name his son? - He's on comedists by basically naming him over. - Yeah, he was just a little piece of shit. - Ever Gibbons decline and fall of the Roman Empire. That's the actual starting point he says of the fall. Now it takes, so that's around 180 is when that happens. So 180 to 476, it takes a long time to get there. But that is like the downward spirals where it starts. - So why did Julius Caesar wanna do all this? What do you mean? - What was his end game with anybody who's in power? You always wonder. - There's a lot. There's a lot. - Yeah, he's a creature of his period of time as well. 'Cause you have to look at kind of the, there's essentially three time periods in Rome. Rome's a kingdom first. There's seven traditional kings. Then it's a republic and then it's an empire. Caesar lives on the edge of the republic and the beginning of the empire. He's not the first emperor, but he's the guy that kind of like sees it to the end if that makes sense. So if you look at it, there's in the last 100 years, Rome has had civil war from about 133 to the year 31. We're talking about BC. So they have civil war for hundreds of years. So what was happening is people weren't paying attention to laws anymore, they weren't doing whatever. So they would just have these corrupt politicians just deciding what they were gonna do. And in this time period, Caesar's just a creature of his time period. He wants to be the big guy in charge like everybody else wants to be. And he just fights harder than others. So to me, that's what we have to look at. - And also a true populist, right? So a couple of the things he did that were notable. One, he paid his soldiers and a lot of people to chose not to, right? He also let them fucking pillage the fuck out of everything. - He also fought alongside him. - And fought alongside him, yeah. Like he was, he and Mark Antony actually fought alongside the troops. And then when he got like one of his first decree, I believe after he became consul was he was gonna set aside three million, three million to Cersei or whatever for the troops. - For the land-grant, for the troops. - For the land-grant, for troops and stuff, like inside of actual Rome, not necessarily out in the fucking-- - 'Cause what would happen is after these guys fought, like their major dream is they want farmland, right? They wanna have a farm, they wanna take care of their family. So soldiers after their military service, you would hope that somebody in government would basically give you a land-grant. And that's one of the major first actions that Caesar takes in office, is he grants land to soldiers. And there's some lands they wanna touch, some lands they don't wanna touch, and they run out of land pretty quickly, so then they have to figure out, where are we gonna get more money? So they look at all the money of the pirates from the east that Poppy the Great brings in, and they say we're gonna use that money to buy more land. So that's how they basically fund the whole thing. - Yeah, and then this is a long and complicated thing to-- - I'm so complicated. - Joy Caesar was part of the first triumvirant, right? Which was Krasus, Poppy, and Joy Caesar. - And it wasn't an official thing, by the way, it was just an agreement between these three guys who were gonna rule this way. - Yeah, yeah, which is interesting, because it is technically a republic, a constant-- - You would have two consoles over the guys in charge, so it was Marcus Biddleis, and Joy Caesar-- - Or one of the consoles had to be a pleb, right? - Maybe not, so one of the tribunes would be a pleb, not the consoles would have to be. - But is there anybody over the history of time that has just done it because they actually genuinely wanna turn their country around and not have fuckers? - I think a gustus. - I think a gustus, too. - And I said this about, if one thing is true about Trump, 'cause he's a megalomaniac, like anybody else. - Well, you don't get that high by not being-- - Exactly, but I think if you can align your megalomaniac, your ego, what are you gonna call it, with the good of the state, right? I think you can make big movements towards a better society. And a gustus was pathological about cleanliness and what do you call it? Chastity amongst women, he ran a big fucking pro-traditional woman role campaign during his first part of his emperorhood or whatever the fuck you would call it. I don't know what the word for that is, but-- - And he also, he's smart enough to not name himself a king because Romans don't like the idea of kingship, 'cause as I said, they traditionally had seven kings and this guy named Brutus kills the last one who's Tarkwin the proud. And so he doesn't name himself king, he calls himself print caps, which in Latin translates to first citizen. So you sell the senate, you sell everything else you should have, but you have a first citizen making sure it all runs right. And what he basically tried to do is bring him back to kind of a more conservative time period, like traditional marriage, like he's talking about-- - Public works. - Public works. - All this stuff. - He finds a lot of literature that we read now. - He repaired all the fucking aqueducts that were fucked up. I mean, honestly, this is exactly what Saddam was saying when he did when he came to power in Iraq. First thing he did was build new schools and hospitals. He fucking, even though he wasn't particularly religious himself, expanded religious works inside of the country. So it's a model that definitely works. Now I'm not saying, who's saying it's a good guy, I don't know if Augustus was a good guy either. - For his time, he probably was kind of a good guy, to be honest, but that's the thing. If you can align the megalomania and power that you have with the actual go to the state, it isn't intrinsically good or bad, is what I'm saying, I guess. - Well, he says to like, I found Roma City of brick and I left it a city of marble. And that was like his real intention was to create whatever this thing is, but sorry, continue. - No, no, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. - It's the longest period of peace in the entire history of the empire, republic or empire. - I had a reason I asked, I had a Democrat friend of mine ask me over the weekend, why do I root for Trump? And why do I like him so much? And I said, genuinely think that he wants to do, change the country and do the right things for the country. Otherwise, I don't understand why somebody would go through the last eight years of what they've gone through because it's financially awful. You're in a million goddamn lawsuits, your life is fucking ruined. She's in a goddamn courtroom with a porn star, which is hilarious because they're calling her her porn star name during the, she has a real name. - I didn't know that. - It's like Jennifer and it's like they're still calling or stormy and it's like, yeah, you know, it's like a fucking, you know, Ray Liotta or somebody was on and they were like, oh yeah, you're the good fellas character or whatever. Like James Gandolfini or Colin and Tony Soprano, you're like, no, it's my, I've got a real name. But as all of this is going on, I'm like, why would you go through all of this? And then like with Ivanka and her husband, they wanted out of it of like, dude, this is too much. Like this is all too fucking much. - Well, I don't know how much I trust Jared anyway. Like he seems like a kind of shifty guy. - I have no idea. Like, I think we've only heard him speak once. I think we played her on the show. The other part is he did pretty well with the Abraham Accords, but he also like got two billion in funding for Saudi Arabia that he definitely got a piece of, right? So. - I'm sure. I'm sure he did, but at the end of the day, what I can't figure out is why you would want this job so badly unless it wasn't to change the country. - Well, I mean, who wants-- - 'Cause this has been fucking miserable for him for eight years. - People do, people take on massive projects like this all the time. Like, you know what, I'm gonna go fix this thing. But, and it's-- - But usually they quit after eight years. - But he's nine years. - But he's a psychopath. He's not gonna quit. - Like somebody like Napoleon, right? Like Napoleon, the only reason he names himself emperor is because it made him a monarch at the level of other monarchs because he had so many assassination attempts on it. - Yeah. - But the guy is literally trying to fix it and he always says, "I'm emperor, so people try to stop killing him." - Yeah, and I'm sure that had something about that was being a monarch and having the status with the church as well. Because the church, the church back then, it wasn't as bad as it was in like what the Czech Republic back in the 12th century and should, where the church has ruled everything around there, not just the Czech Republic, but that whole fucking strip. - Well, 'cause they handled monarchs differently 'cause if you were a monarch, they would banish you, or if you weren't, they would just kill you. - Right, yeah. - So it was important to be a monarch. - Now on the flip side of this, I said, I was talking about Biden's and them, and I go, "Well, with Biden for you," I go, "Why do you think Biden wants to do this "and continue?" 'Cause Dan and I thought he was gonna quit. And we even had dates and all that other stuff. - Well, he doesn't know where he is. - I was gonna say, like, does he even know where he is? - Well, look, I think he wants it just as bad. - But even everybody in the Democratic party has told him to step down. - Take it back to 2020, though, right? When he first started, 'cause he should have retired after the vice president's experience. - 2016, yeah. - 2016, yeah. - No, no, no, that's what I was vice president was. - I mean, well, maybe even before that, to be honest, 'cause he was already on the dance video. He should have retired before that. I don't think, I think he's just a puppet. And I don't, not even, like a puppet in the same way that George Bush was a puppet. George W. Bush was not a real president. - No, Jim Mars calls him a post-turtle. - Yeah, yeah, and that's what it feels like, and that's what Biden feels like. - Yeah, yeah, certainly. - For Obama, probably, right? Let's be real, but. - Yeah, but to that extent, like with Biden, I said, all right, well, let's say hypothetically that he wants the same thing in the best for the country. You don't look back at what you've done to it for the last four years and say, "Fuck, man, I was terrible at this job." Like, there's jobs that I had in my life where I was like, "Man, I'm terrible at this job." - He's pathological, though. You look at some of the stuff he's said over the, said and done over the last 50 years. - Oh, yeah, like the all the racist shit, all the plagiarism. - It's incredible. And now he's a good guy. - He's a crazy person. - He said the N word more than Papa John. - Not more me, though. - That's true. Boom. - Nailed it. - Nailed it, dude. - Fucking leading the league right now, buddy. Who's the fucking racist now, bitch? Thought you were racist at home? Dan's got you, dude. I've heard him scream it out, dude. Everywhere, over and over. I'm kidding. (laughing) - Totally joking, buddy. - But yeah, I do think we refer to these people as great men in history, right? But they're just megalomaniacs for the most part. - Yeah. - But again, every now and again, it's like a broken clock is right twice. So they every now and again, their values just happen. Their value and instinct and intent all align in a way that is kind of beneficial for everybody, right? And Trump was pretty beneficial for most people, you know. - But sitting in a fucking, sitting in endless courtrooms, losing all your property, or all these legal fights over and over and over again. I just don't know why you would want to keep doing this. When even the family bowed out, like even Ivanka was just like, 'cause at one point, she had political hopes and then she was like, oh, wait, is this what it's gonna be like? - Well, people doing the fuck out of here. - People do it at lower levels all the time, right? Like think about the nimby crowd, they're not in my backyard crowd. They either stay out of politics or they're fucking left all the time, right? - Yeah. - Until the leftness comes to their door and then they're like, all right, we gotta do something now. Or the people who were very pro all these demonstrations until it started to cost them money or until it started to offend Israel. Now they're like, oh, we gotta do something about this. Like, I'm not one of these, there's a lot of people on the, I guess, conservative side of politics and commentary right now that are trying to blame the Jews for everything again for some reason. It's like the lowest common denominator nonsense. And it's frustrating. - Who's doing that on the right? - Everybody that's on the, everybody that's like a fucking-- - I think Canada's always been on that site. - Yeah, everybody that's on the red pill side is like, oh, just think about all the organizations causing this problem, like politics and the entertainment industry and the media. They're all fucking Jews. It's like, okay, man, cool. - But I think like the problem with that is I think we're sucked into the wrong battle. I'm like, why do we care about this whole thing to begin with? Like, let's worry about our border. No new foreign wars. Like, to me, why are we worried about any of it? - And these are all fixable. I mean, go on back to the top. So let's say you fix immigration, boom, shut it all down, give it five years. Get us out of the wars. We can do that overnight. Pull all the troops, pull all the funding, pull everything, bring everybody back. Awesome, man. We're going to protect our own shit. Financially, you start struggling. He starts, yeah, that is the hard part. But if you limit your trade with these fucking shit bags and don't participate in their fucking nonsense and do it all here, it'll create more jobs. It'll create a better everything here. And yeah, it's going to take a couple of years, but-- - And it creates a circumstance where they either have to modernize their culture or get isolated, right? Which is important. Like, if you think about, this is kind of a silly comparison, but think about you have a friend group. And one of your friends is being just in like a real racist twat, right? Like actual, not-- - Or a cokehead. - Let's see, you got a cokehead friend who's doing cocoa time. - They're causing other people problems. You know, like, go get your fucking shit together until you want, and then you can hang out with us after you get shit together. That's a very powerful thing to be able to do is people need the connectivity, and on this scale, those countries don't exist without that oil, 'cause they do nothing else. That's all they do. All they do, like, some of them, there's a couple places for tourism, like Dubai and shit, but in the Middle East, if you don't produce oil, you're poor, right, as a country. So then there's one of two paths they can take. They can modernize it. They can deal with Russia and China, right? But China is not letting Muslims come there. As a matter of fact, they put all theirs in concentration camps. And Russia has been bombing Chechnya for 60 goddamn years now, however long Muslims have been there. And all the other stands as well that around them, they invaded Afghanistan before we knew what it was. So they're not gonna put up with that shit, either. But those are the other two powers in the region that would actually buy their stuff. And if they don't play ball either, then they are literally forced to modernize to some degree, which would be better for the world. But instead, you know, I mean, think about it from this perspective, the same people that own the bulk of stock and these oil companies own the bulk of stock in the military industrial complex as well, right? Oil costs what it is. It's a variable price. You can make a lot of money on it for sure. One A.T. or one Javelin rocket cost $65,000, one of them. Some of these missiles that we fire are millions of dollars each, right? And that's all they're hearing. It's like the fucking Nick Cage movie, "Lord of War," every time a fucking A.K. round comes out. Cha-ching, cha-ching, yeah, but these are all pretty solvable problems that you could do day one and really start over. Think about what money buys, right? Yeah. What is it? 'Cause people, we've talked about civilization collapse and stuff like that. People, what about your mortgage? This is like, nobody's coming to collect your mortgage of civilization collapse, bud. So what is it that money can buy? And if you didn't have money, could you still get it? Food, shelter, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right? So as a country, we can fucking limit anybody's ability to interfere with our ability to produce those things. We can produce, like it's really about energy and sanitation and food and shelter, right? Heat of some sort. That's those four things are what it's really about. 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Austin, same thing. All the tech companies are here. They're building a goddamn highway through the fucking center of it and everything else. And it's all because of jobs. If there weren't jobs here, then there would be nothing here. But let's say you did that in all these towns with oil and everything else, all these other cities would be flourishing. Then you can have money to actually help out the cities that are having problems like the South Side of Chicago or San Francisco, I mean, San Francisco, now that all those businesses have left, once a giant business leaves, they never come back. - Yeah. - They never come back. - And that is a massive amount of tax revenue that you lose. And it goes in both directions. Not only does the tax revenue come down, but the social cost goes up, right? Because all these people that work for them are now fucking tapping into social programs, right? So it's not, it's a seesaw effect. It isn't just the revenue comes down. Everything fucking shifts. - And tourism, like tourism, when you go to these cities, like because you love to go to these cities, and now you're not going to want to go to those cities. Like that's all going to be affected. - Well, the problem is the further you get away from it too, the worse it gets. Because when people get away further away from the end result of their hard work, right? Like, you know, the actual value they're receiving for the value they're giving, the less that they're going to remember what that's like. - The disconnect between effort and outcome, it's a big problem. - Correct. - 'Cause then you, the only thing you can turn to after that is expectation. - And if you're working to get resources away, it's over. - That's what we see on college campuses now. It's like people who are fucking taking over buildings and then demanding humanitarian aid, like just go to fucking work, bitch. - That's it. - The hell are you talking about? - It's still work. - You mentioned the entertainment industry and the jobs it creates. I think that the way that they fuck that up is a bigger problem than anything. That four of the eight studios are now owned by China. That 80% of the box office that they make is owned by China, right? - Yeah. - So they either have to. This is, the traditional role of entertainment isn't just spectacle. It's also being subversive. We talked about Shakespeare before and how subversive he was and just like stand up comedy even in more recent times. - Most of the role the gesture comes from. The gesture was the person that could say anything that they wanted to the cam because it wasn't serious, it was in jest. - So now we're in a situation where that market is being either controlled by a foreign government that hates us or it doesn't exist, right? Because they built the economy of Hollywood on the fact that you can spend $20 million on Tom Cruise again to do that movie because the Chinese box office paid for it. And now you don't even get residuals, right? It's over. So that whole industry is done and that's a massive event. Like as far as industry, like there's a Walmart employees a lot of people certainly, but as far as like bulk wealth comes and then fucking all the ancillary jobs that come from that fucking AMC movie theaters and everything that comes out of that, that shit's gone now, man. - I think yesterday Apple came out with a thing at Apple Netflix and Prime or even looking at changing pay scales where basically they wanna start paying these actors as well as the movies do. - Right, and so that was negotiated in the SAG agreement and then they also partnered up so they're bundling together which is essentially cable television again. So I think it's Apple, Netflix and then one other and then on the other side you've got Hulu, Disney and everybody else bundling together to try to go against each other but none of them have money for any of it. That's another industry that's gonna collapse within the next five years. - It's annoying thing about even trying to watch a stupid Yankee game now. It's like I have to have five different streaming services just to watch the whole damn season. It's ridiculous. - The best fucking chart, Bob. If you can pull it up was, if you were an NFL fan, they posted this yesterday, how much it would cost to watch every single game because they're on so many different apps? - Of one team? - No. - Of all games. - Of the, yes. Of an NFL season. - 'Cause it used to be like 250 bucks a year and you can watch every single game. - Right. - On that-- - That was like three years ago. - It is up to $883. I think was the final total that I saw. - I saw, I'm saying 850 here. I know the meme you're talking about though, but either way, that's to have everything, Prime, Netflix, Cable, yeah, all the all the shit. - Peacock's got playoff games now. - So think about this from the entertainment perspective 'cause now everything goes to streaming, right? No matter what it is. Every now and again, we've got a good theatrical release and it goes for a while and it does this. But again, it's the same thing as the loss of revenue in a city that has the seesaw affected that brings the social spending up as well. Now you have this entire economy that was built on the idea of that particular sort of revenue generation. It was doubled up actually, well, it was tripled up in a way. So it was a theatrical release, then it was DVDs and it was also the foreign market, right? The foreign, which took over the bulk over the last 10 years or so. And now the money's not being made so the big movies aren't being made, which means that the theaters aren't getting those movies for six to 15 weeks, which means those people that work those jobs are now doing something else. They're working for TSA now, right? Getting paid by the government to work instead of getting, instead of actually generating revenue. So it's this massive seesaw effect. So we talk about 40% inflation all the time over the last couple of years and all this other bullshit. It's way worse than what it seems like. - Yeah, and it's going to get worse. - Because social spending is going up and inflation's going up and that's why our debt is out of control. Is it like 2035 that Social Security's going to run on a money anyway? - Yeah, and we were talking about it on the show a couple of days. It's been a kind of a theme here for the last week of like when it started to go off the rails and everything else, somebody in the audience asked me they were like, went on a rant the other day about it and they said, did you make less money over the last four years? The answer is no, my salary didn't change and that's the scary part is because everything else did and then my salary didn't feel like enough because of the inflation and all the higher costs and shit and you're just like, God damn, man. What the fuck do you have to do? - Well, that's like I run a public relations agency since 2016 and that's like one of the hardest things, man. Like I've had to raise my prices like not just a little bit but like last year we doubled them. This year we had to double them. 'Cause I could be able to pay people and they have to be able to pay for food. Like it's getting crazy. - And you want to give employees raises. You want to do all these things but you can't if you're not generating more money and I don't know where it's coming from or how people are affording all this shit and everything else. Another theme over the last week with all of this. - People are going into debt. That's what they're doing. - Yes. - Like credit card debt is wild. - Well, yeah, it's all wild. And APRs for cars, houses, all that other shit are out of control. But another thing we've been talking about over the last week is just me like exiting off countries and everybody's been joking about that of like, I don't need the Middle East. You can nuke it. I don't need to see it. I never go to Africa, any of that other stuff. The reason why I believe that is as a kid and this might sound cheesy is I thought everything to me existed in America. And that's really all I needed was America. Like all the big cities, all the fun tourist events, all that other shit were in America and you love it. I loved going to San Francisco as a kid. I love, I like Hawaii, I like all these things that were in America. If it was just America at the end of the day that existed and everything else didn't, I'd still be fine with it because there's so much amazing culture and food and everything else that is in this country and there's mountains and oceans and beautiful cities. Now those are slowly being shut down and chipped away where it's like fuck man, most of those cities aren't on my list anymore. - Well here's a good way to think about it. If you boil what you're talking about down to a policy level, right? It is a good idea to have everything we need here and to produce everything we need here. And then what we want, we can outsource. We can go find that somewhere else. That's fine, right? But in no point should we ever subjugate ourselves to the whims of OPEC or Russia for our energy. That's fucking crazy. Those people hate us. - Not only do they hate us. - They say that they hate us on a regular basis. They say death to America, not Russia obviously, although Putin is not a huge fan of ours. But in the entire Middle East, it's death to America. I was like, all right, cool man, but can we get that oil? It's like, no, fuck you, we'll get our own. - Exactly, and we can do it here and create more jobs. Why the fuck do we care about all these other people? By the way, does somebody have hay fever back there? - That's, environmentalism is this Marxist nonsense, right? That's all it is. Environmentalism is like, you're too, let's say me, you and Jared were too strong as an organization for somebody to fuck with. Environmentalism is walking up to Jared's ear and be like, hey, you know, they don't actually like coffee. That's what environmentalism is. It's nonsense, not true, it's nonsense. And it's intentionally designed to drive a wedge between what people actually fucking want and need. That's all it is, it's nonsense. Environmentalism is bullshit. All of it is fucking fake nonsense. I mean, you can go look up, I think it's like 60, over the last 60 years, a list of 100 different predictions made by environmentalists that never came true. By the way, like we know about climate change now, but it was global warming. And before that, it was global cooling. - Well, that's what's gonna say. - Those are predictions, they're by 2000. It was gonna be fucking frozen wasteland. - Yeah, we were supposed to be underwater, right? - This is 1978, yeah. - Earth things started because they thought we were going to a new ice age and it's like, and then they changed it to climate change. When are they just wrong? Like, when does that happen? They're just wrong. - I don't know, what's wrong with saying that everybody was wrong? I don't understand that either. - But that's the weird part of it. There's like this acceptable thing of like, nobody's supposed to say the thing, which is really weird, man. Like it's like a mind fuck. - It's manufacturing consent, that's what it is, right? - Yeah, I mean, even watching the Oklahoma City Thunder, like we have this thing on "Dringer Bros Sports" with Chet Holmgren. God, it's amazing, his little legs are this big. And they just don't snap in half. He is a good player. - He's a great player. - And I understand that. I just, it's because of how ugly he is, that I don't want to physically look at him. And now I've broken it down, and I can admit that I was wrong. Chet Holmgren is a great player. He's just so ugly, and then he's got these tiny little legs that are going to snap in half one day. - I don't like to see ugly people succeed. - I don't either, yeah. - And now, but at least I can admit that and move on with my life. I don't want to see Uggos, even you today. You're a good-looking dude, even if you weren't interesting. Cool, man. At least the audience can look at you and it's okay. - Well, if you want to see ugly people succeed, I guess then watch politics, right? - She's a Jerry Nadler. Like look at some of these guys. - There's a mix. It's like fucking troll people, and then Gavin Newsom. - And then AOC and Bobert. - He's a bad man, no one though, man. - Yeah. It's AOC and Bull, but Bobert. Everybody's been sending those fucking AI memes to me over the weekend. I'm just like, holy shit, dude. She's got heavies, natural heavies. Don't send me one of AOC without big naturals, okay? That's fucking bullshit. - Yeah. - I don't want to see the fake. - If you think about it. - I don't want to see the fake ones. - That's what is that reverse stolen valor? How does that work? - Well, if I'm AOC, that would be the one thing that I'd be super offended. - Can you imagine her? She's on Instagram, bitch. You're like, my titties are fucking- - Big naturals. - She pulls her titties out. These are what real titties look like. - These are big naturals. I used to lay them up on the bar in Brooklyn for extra tips back in the day. - She's got a really deep voice with a Southern accent in your version. - Well, kind of odd. - I kind of want that, I kind of want that, you know? 'Cause I don't, what I hear her as. I don't like her voice. - I know it's just screeching. - Yeah. - It's nails on a chalkboard. - Bring it down a little bit, you know? And to a little Southern lady, or just go sound a Hayek with it. - Like a sound Hayek voice. - Or a Hayek with a Hayek voice. - It's too much, so if we're going with the tanks, yeah, exactly. We're going to let tanks' voices. - Vergara's too much, Hayek is where I live. - What about Jennifer Lopez? - She's right in the middle. - Okay. - So, what about Mitch Connors, who was Cartman's hand puppet that was pretending to be Jennifer Lopez? - Oh, Hennifel Lopez? (laughing) - I'm like, "Tuckles, you burritos." That would be fine. 'Cause there's an element of porn is too, to it, where it's like, man, would you see somebody super hot that's poor, and you know you could really change their life, and then they would be grateful for it? - Yeah. - And that's dark, but. (laughing) But he had that fantasy. He wanted to clean up a homeless lady off the street. - Wow. - Yeah, he did. - He did, yeah. - He did it. - He fucking did it, dude. And I was like, "Was it everything you hoped for?" He goes, "No." 'Cause afterwards, I didn't know what to do with her. - That's how-- - Well, you can just drop her off anywhere. - He did, under the underpass. - You can drop her off anywhere. - That's how Emperor Septimius Severus got his wife. - Sorry. - Make that behomeless check. - Was she hot? - No. - Presumably hot. - Presumably hot. - Presumably not, since hundreds of years ago. - And that's the thing about-- - There's Julia. - That's the thing about history, right? Isn't it all just kind of a make-em-up? Like, we've all got best guesses in like telephone games where it's like, "What's she hot? "Does anybody-- "We don't have a sketch. "We don't have a photo of this broad." - Well, could you imagine they-- So, in that time period, they didn't have pictures. They would like trade around paintings of what the women looked like to decide like if you're getting married? - Yeah, could you imagine-- - Could you imagine if you get the painting of the chick and she looks nothing like that painting like terrified? - You got Catfish by a shitty painter. - What-- - When you're an emperor. - And you're usually married to her before you meet her too. - Yeah, yeah. - That's terrifying. - Can you imagine being the emperor or being the painter and the emperor's like fucking, like, "You better get it right, motherfucker." And you're like, "Oh, shit." - Yeah. - Like, I would draw, I would always make her uglier than she really is. - Or like, so Napoleon's first wife, Josephine, she grew up on a sugar plantation. So, she actually had no teeth. She just had like black stubs where her teeth was. - Makes sense. - And that's why every picture of her mouth is closed. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Yeah, she was the throat goat. - Yeah, throat goat. So, we understand that. - You didn't know that it was Nancy Reagan. - I mean. - Who, what year was Mona Lisa? - 15 something? - Bob, can you look that up? - 40 something. - Yeah, it was 1503. - Okay, so 1503, in my opinion, was the best painting of an uglier. There was where you were like, "Oh, shit." That broads really fucking ugly. - Yeah, she wasn't great. I mean, but that wasn't for a wedding. So, those ones came, they were smaller, right? They were like a fucking... - Yeah, in real life, it's about the size of this bro box here. - Yeah. - Like, I mean, it's just a little bigger than the painting is. - But I think it would be a smart move if you were the painter to make them a little uglier and not the other way, right? That way, the guy's like, "Ah, yeah, she'll do." And then she shows up and she's a little bit hotter. Like, "Oh, damn, she's actually..." - You're risking the king killing you? - Yeah, well, if it's your own wife, if it's your own wife, you gotta make them super hot. - No, that's fine. Like, if you, if you're risking the king killing you to a greater degree, in my opinion, if you fucking make her too hot, and then she shows up and she's a fucking fat retard or something. You know what I mean? - Yeah, I can see that. - Yeah, that's what I would be worried about. - Did anybody get killed back in the day for making ugos of like, "Hey, dude, this doesn't look like me or my wife. Like, fuck you, dude." - I don't know. I can imagine there would be. - I can't imagine you would want to be a bad sculptor for the royal family. You would definitely get killed. - Well, who did David? Who did the statue of David? - Michelangelo. - Michelangelo. - Yeah, that cock was way too small. Like, if I was David, I would have fucking told him-- - That was amazing for that. - Just too, it's proportioned, so when you look at it a certain way, it looks like it's the right side. So, like, his hand is enormous. - Yeah, but make him give him a fucking-- - It's meant to be a specific angle. There's actually-- - Give him a slapper, though. Have it hang. - A lot of art and historians have written about why they made all the dick small. - And what was the answer? - I don't know. I just know that the material is, yeah, I guess. Maybe it's easier to cover it. - Fuck that, dude. Give me a fucking hog. Was it cool to have a small dick back in the day? - Well, I mean, they didn't know. - Italy and Rome, before it fought the Carthaginians a lot and they probably had big dicks, just based on what I know about Carthagin. - North Africa. - Race. - Yeah, North Black. - It was a Black dicks. - So they were-- - Gee, they were most likely-- - They were more systematic than Black, yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - As long as the dicks are different colors, Scan, you know which way it's going. - Yeah. - Like, you know, right? - What? - You can say it, it's fine, dude. - Yeah, Black or Dick is gonna be bigger, bro. Nothing wrong with that. - I need you to admit that today. - I'm not gonna admit that. - Why not? - Just a little weird. - Is it? - Yeah, just a little bit. - Oh, it's gonna get weirder now, now that you didn't admit it. - Well, now I wanna know about weird facts from Roman history now. 'Cause we're done with the serious part of the show. - So, Eligabilis would be a guy you really like. - Okay. - Eligabilis, he becomes emperor as a teenager. - Okay. - He's the priests of the cult of Eligabil, which means they all worship this black-like rock that was probably from space. And his black rock got married to another black rock and everybody had to come to the wedding and be like all excited about it. He got pulled around by a chariot of prostitutes. - The rock? - No, no, the emperor. - Oh, the emperor, okay. - He had a chariot of prostitutes that would carry him around. He named his hairdresser in charge of the grain supply. And here's the one you really like. He would give people, give men jobs depending on how long their dong was. - How big was his dick, though? - I don't know. - This is one of the answers I need to do. - We don't know how big his dick was, but we do know that he valued big dicks. - Yeah. - Okay. - Which he's easier than-- - The better the job, the more dad you are. - Yeah, I like that. I, we should do an entire show on a, how big was his dick? And then we can pull up just-- - And the boy in dick is in a fucking museum scene, right? - It is, like that one we've seen, but it's hard because that's been passed around over time. - And it's also syphalytic too, which is probably not the best quality dick. - I think you need a Pompey dick like that guy who got to, who was jacking off during Pompey. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you're not going to be-- - Have you never been to Pompey before? - I had been to Pompey. - Yeah, so you didn't go and see the guy who got locked in there. - Pull that up, yeah. Let's see that guy's, the guy who was jacking off. - It looks like he was-- - It looks like he was. - A lot of them came over him. - But it does look like he may have been pounding off. - He was, he was going-- - He was just one of like the, the ash people. - Yeah, yeah. - Oh god, that one. That doesn't look that nice. - I mean, what do you see there? - I see it. - You're seeing the same thing. - Yeah, he's grabbing his dick. - He's grabbing his dick. - Well, I guess look at it this way. Like, it's the last moments of your life. What are you going to do? - So pop that pick up one more time. Here's what's impressive about this is like, you can see the lava, dude. You can feel the heat at that point. And the fact that you're still able to have a hog like that is amazing. So like, I would add another two to three inches to that of what it really could have been, just simply because of nerves. I mean, you're about to get killed by lava. - Maybe that was his kink though. - Here's the thing though, they all got kind of nuked. Like they died incredibly quickly. - Well, the fumes. - Yeah, so this, he might have actually just been caught, like, you know, having a Sunday morning stroke, not realizing. - Oh, that there was a fucking explosion. - 'Cause the gasses fumes came first and kind of like knocked everybody out. - Got it. But then how is this dick still hard and upright? - I don't know. - 'Cause that usually, if you die from fumes, your dick goes down and you don't keep that. - It's like a boner. - Maybe it's like a bug where they keep really up to date. - Again, I'm telling you, that was his kink. - Okay. - Like strangle baiting, what's it about? I don't think it's about the heightened orgasm. - You don't like some? - Because of the lack of oxygen. I think it's about the near death experience. And this is like a fucking direct experience of death. - Sure is. - Right? I mean, to be honest, I might start a cult of dudes who fucking start pounding off and jump into a volcano right into it. - Wow. - And if you can, the trick is your legend status, maybe you could come before you hit the fucking lava. - Oh, yeah. - It's gonna be like-- - 25 to 50 foot drop or so into the actual lava. If you can fucking blast one out before that, then you get, that mountain is named after you now. And that's where Vesubius got his name from Dave Vesubius who jacked off into the lava. - Dave Vesubius. - And Vesubius. - And Vesubius was on the show a few months ago in his new movie. He jacked off Bucknaked jumping out of an airplane. - Yeah, and he killed him. - What's up? - He's still doing movies? - Oh, yeah. - Yeah, he did this one by himself. - Fucking kill it, dude. - It's jackass on steroids, where you're like, "Man, trying to jack off right before diving out of a plane." - It's like giant oxfels, like all like reform now, is there something else? - No, he's a little injured to do what I want. - His eye keeps popping out of socket. He's missing a nut or something. - Yeah, I took my kid to the last one, it came out about a year and a half ago, just to check in. So what they're doing is, he still did it. And he went hardest, fuck. - Oh, the chattassing bob that we have audio of Pompey, of the explosion from Basuvi. - No, so if you have to say it, I know that it's coming and I can remove my head. - So I guess, speaking of one nut, Sulla, who's kind of the general that started everything that seems to be the advantage of, likely had one nut. - Really? - Okay, why? - I don't know, but it's, there's a, they tried to say he was like half a man, 'cause he had one nut. - I mean, but that's the thing with-- - That's a stone-tune power sign though, right? - Yeah. - You think that's what it's about? ♪ And I feel when a dog is a sailor ♪ - That's good, I would think it's him. - I know, he's that he's still alive, he's dead too. - Now, also, isn't it rumored that Caesar was a bottom? - That is, that was one of the big knocks on him early in his career, yeah. - Why is that a knock? Maybe he was just good, you're good at your job and you love what you do. Do you work it down your life? - Well, the other politicians used to use it to belittle him though, because it was like, it was seen as being Greek. - Mm, that's a Greek thing to do. - It's a Greek thing to do. - Is that what it means? It's all Greek to me, that means you're a power bottom? - In that time, that's what they thought. - It means you're getting fucked in the butt, for sure. - Yeah, with olive oil or kelp as a lube, okay? And we've talked about this, we did a show on that last year, I think. - We sure did. By the way, the audio that we were trying to pull up was P-Diddy, obviously, a Meek Mill. - Yeah, I don't know if you've heard that audio, but it's P-Diddy, allegedly P-Diddy fucking Meek Mill. - That's terrible. - Yeah, it's not great. - And it got kicked up a notch yesterday. - What's happening with P-Diddy? - P-Diddy was with Meek Mill the other nights and they posted a video from it and then 50 Cent said, 'cause they were right next to each other. 50 Cent reposted it and posted underneath it and he goes, "It's good to have a strong woman "to buy your side during all this. "You gotta stand by your man." You know, and I was like, "Ah boy." - Did they actually catch him? Yeah, like, what's going on with P-Diddy? 'Cause like he ran away. - I don't know what's wrong with P-Diddy. - It's so weird. - It kind of like dropped off the news. - Yeah, I would have thought this all would have been over in two weeks, but either they don't really have anything or they're trying to crack open something bigger. - Even like the Epstein thing though, how wild is that that they traffic to apparently no one? Like, the whole, all that shit is just crazy to me. - I think that there's other people involved in Diddy the same way with Epstein and then they're trying to figure out what to do. Because everybody wants those fucking parties. - Make some deals before somebody goes down? - Yeah, dude. I mean, everybody wants those fucking parties. So, something's going on behind the scenes. - That is burning fucking tapes like it's a boiler room. - Well, his buddy, and this was like three or four months before that even rated his house or anything. An old friend of his just said, "Look man, I think Diddy's going down this year "and if he's smart, he burns everything "that's in his existence." And maybe he did. Maybe he was able to get rid of all of it before the feds got there. - So how does somebody like that go on so long and then finally go down? Do they go too far? Do they try and like fuck over the wrong person? How does that happen? - Great question. So my theory is just looking back on it, he tried to sue this huge alcohol brand. That owns like, I don't know, 33% of like the alcohol industry. And they were like, "Oh cool man, you're going to sue us. "Fuck you." - Wow. - Yeah. - I like that. - What was that company? It starts with a D, I think they're from Ireland. - Dildo. - No. - Dick. - Anyway. - Yeah. - Dump. - Do it. - Here's what I think it is. I think that, so the agency uses cut out companies, like airlines, I mean like that Tom Cruise movie about the airline, that's real. But they have-- - Oh, the cocaine guy? - Yeah. They have companies like that all over the place. Or a lot of the oil companies use to play a ball. That's why like, a lot of people think that George H.W. Bush was a knock back of the day because Prescott Bush was a big oil guy, blah, blah, blah, right? My presumption is that, did he get involved with, or potentially exposed, whether on purpose or accident, some operation they had going on and he's just got to be dealt with, right? So maybe that, all these raids and shit were just to intimidate him. So he'll play ball and like, hey look, sorry about that. But we got a fucking clean house here, so you gotta get to work. - So is he working for the intelligence agency or what? 'Cause it's like the CIA seems to run out of it. - The fucking maybe. The entertainment industry has propagandaized for the agency for years, so 1950s, right? And then-- - Movie stars, game show hosts. - Even before that, the FBI was running out of it. - Do you know what that guy, Gary? Whatever his name is, it was right in like a movie about the CIA and just disappeared out in the desert in Arizona? - I'm not shocked by that. - No. - Yeah. - But with the-- - I mean, even Trump wouldn't release those JFK files. - Right. - Yeah. - 'Cause he said-- - He says he's going to this time, but I don't believe him. - I don't either 'cause he said, initially, the first time he goes, look, if people really fucking knew it was in this shit, they lose their minds. - I talked to Roger Stone about that and he said, like if people knew what was actually in them, they wouldn't wanna know it. - What did Roger Stone say it was? - He said that he's seen him, but he can't say what's in it. - Roger Stone said that? - That's what he said. - Why can't he say what's in it? - 'Cause I guess it's classified and he's probably not supposed to know. - Cool. - Well, I guess I'm gonna be interrogating Roger Stone soon. - That'd be fun, dude. - He knows so much about JFK-- - Wait, didn't we have him on the show? - Do we have him on the show? - No, we never had Roger Stone on the show. - Who was the other guy that we had on? - We've had a bunch over the years, but I'd love to have Roger Stone on the show. He's an interesting guy to me. He's like a modern day Capote where you're just like, what do you do and how do you infiltrate these groups? - Well, I did a whole episode with him about JFK assassination. Like that is, the fact that we still don't know so many things about that is wild. - What does he think happened? - He thinks it was LBJ, because if you look at it, he's the main one, maybe he doesn't do everything, but he's the main one that benefits. So, like, wilds with the mob cooperate with the CIA, cooperate with the Cubans, because he's gonna benefit, right? - Right. - Maybe we had Dr. Cyril Weck die yesterday who was on the show and he was the first one civilian-wise to get ahold of the JFK body afterwards and was the first report that the brain was missing and the matter and all that other shits, and nothing's changed. We know nothing about it still to this day, so it's fucking bizarre. You're a bizarre dude. - Yeah, we also know nothing about you. We didn't really get into you specifically. Your name is Jeremy Ryan-Slee. - That's correct. - Yeah, what do you do? - Three names, like a Cyril killer. - So, I run a PR agency. We focus mainly on podcasting new media, 'cause I think regular media just doesn't really matter. - Legacy, media. - Yeah, legacy media on. - Well, it's all dying. Are you paying attention to what Apple's doing behind the scenes right now? - What about the, which part? - They're not gonna allow ads in this new iOS update. - I did not know about that. That's them. - Yeah, yeah. So, they're trying to fight that now, and they're like, man, ads on what? So, if you pop open your news, let's say you're looking at "Dredger Porter," whatever, it'll block the ads for you. - Well, how about this one? If you ever tried, like, run an Instagram ad now in the new iOS, they charge you like 20% of your ad spend, just to run that ad on your phone. - So, I think that's what they wanna do with the news agencies. Now, the news agencies are saying, "Hey, without these ads, we can't fucking survive, "and we can barely survive anyways." And I think with AI, because Apple's working on their own AI as well, they're like, "Cool, man. "We can just train our AI to actually write the news "and then monetize our own fucking news, so fuck off." And that's what all this feels like. They're also doing the same thing to podcast behind the scenes, do you know that? - Well, that's why-- - I don't know. Do you know about the podcast numbers behind the scenes? - Which part about it? - So, they're not the new update. They're not including, like, any old back catalog numbers or anything like that. - For iOS? Yeah. - I wasn't familiar with that, but I know like they've been doing a lot of, I think they, so you know who Adam Curry is, the guy that invented podcasts? So, he's actually here in Austin somewhere is where he's from, but he's invented this new system called Podcasting 2.0, which is actually podcasts built in the blockchain, because one of the main problems is Apple actually removes about three podcasts on average from their catalog every day. So, the main thing, you know, our main vehicle for free speech right now, our podcast and shows like this and whatnot. So, we have to support those things. And I think to be built on these different platforms is a little scary. So, I think being on things like blockchain, being in places like Rumble, it is a lot safer. 'Cause I know even my main platform right now is still YouTube, but our numbers have been destroyed last year since I took a look at, you know, internationally. Who's the person actually running everything? So, we looked at a lot of, you know, world economic forum and groups like that. And the 17th of August of last year, I had my stats like almost come to a screeching halt. - Yeah. - Like it is a problem. - We had two numerous times over the years. It's a problem how these big platforms control everything. And I think it's important that we have free speech like this and have these conversations. - Well, I think it's a good backup, but you still need the traditional clients right now, but it is good to back it up. And that was actually something Alex Jones had told me. He said, "Hey man, make sure there's a backup "of all your shit in case you got to put it up somewhere else "in a hurry." - I have three external hard drives coming a little crazy about it. - I'm sure. And it's, look, it's smart to do. We have them somewhere. It's George, you still have to go? - Up your butt, Joe. - Yeah, probably. But with that, it is important to have all this shit as a backup and everything else. Unfortunately, there is podcasts and everything blowing up on YouTube where you're just like terrible, but you're just like, God damn it, man. They play ball, they play around the algorithm and they do the things. - Well, it's good for discoverability 'cause I think a lot of these new systems, discoverability isn't quite there yet 'cause like even on Rumble, like sure, you may be safe, but it's harder to get discovered right now. So I think YouTube is important for discoverability, but I think in terms of what you can actually say there, it's very clamp down. - Yeah, and going back to what Apple's doing with iTunes and podcasts, I think the reason why they're throttling the numbers for advertisers and everything else is 'cause they want you to use their paywall system of like, oh, hey, use our system and we'll give you the real numbers for it. Same way when Spotify bought Anchor, it was the same deal where they were like, oh, great. Now we control two out of the big three data platforms here. So it's weird. At the end of the day, Apple will end up owning everything. I've said this forever. It'll be Apple, Amazon, and then maybe a Netflix. - Yeah, we'll see. - That pops in there and buys everything else. - Watch the, there's a Canadian sci-fi show called Continuum that you should watch because it's set like, I don't know, 80 years in the future or some shit, I think. And it's, there's something called the Corporate Congress. - Right. - Okay. - Where Congress instead of being elected members, the major corporations from Canada all have, it's a Canadian, obviously. All the major corporations in Canada have a seat on the board. It's like a, it's run like a executive board instead, right? That's where we're headed. - Okay, we're close. - And that is, that's, that goes to literal fascism and then to post-fascism, which is like, post-fascism is where it's not a confluence of government and corporate control, it's just corporate control, right? Same thing. - Jerry, now is the point in the show we get this thing called the drinking bro of the week, which is someone who has inspired you or helped you become the person you are today. Who'd you like to give drinking bro of the week too? - Drinking bro of the week. - Billy Martin. - The baseball manager. - I think he can show you that. - Billy Ball. - Anybody can get anything done in there as well. - Anybody can get things done if they're a little aggressive. So, Billy Martin. - Weird fucking guy, Billy Martin. This was the last time you've heard of Billy Martin reference. I mean, holy shit, he's a great manager. - Probably the last time I thought about Steinbrenner was him arguing with Billy Martin. - Yes. - To be honest. - Yeah, that's about it. - To be honest, like any time I think of Steinbrenner, I think of Billy Martin. - I think of Billy Martin or what do you do with the awkwardness. - J.C. August. - With Ricky Henderson, you just let him steal relentlessly over and over. Hey, just run, you get on beige, just run. We'll figure it out. - I mean, it worked out for him. - Sure did. - Well, they won one, but not with him. It was LaRusso by then. - Yup. - It was LaRusso by then. And I don't think he won any with the Yankees in the 80s, right? - Billy Martin, no. - 76, maybe? They won one against the Dodgers in the late 70s, but with Billy Martin still there. - No, he was the manager. - I think the Dodgers won in 78, I think. - One World Series as a manager. It looks like in 77. - 77. - The Yankees. - The Yankees. - The Yankees, okay. - He won quite a few as a player with the Yankees. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just imagine, though, having to work for the 1970s, George Steinbrenner and still get shit done, that must've been amazing. - Yeah, man. - I wonder where America would be if Steinbrenner had done the Trump thing and run for president. - Dude, could you imagine? - In 1992. - We'd be going out and buying the best politicians from other countries and be like, so, Tony Blair, you're hired. - Yeah. (laughing) - You big Tony Blair fan? - No. I was just grabbing a name. - He fucks hard, he's got a huge dick. - Okay. - Yeah. - Do you want to get into it? - I don't think-- - I'm happy to spend-- - If I had a dick. - If I had to guess-- - I can tell you what I'm talking about. - If I had to guess, I would say that Tony Blair probably doesn't have a huge dick. - No idea. - Just based on his face. - No idea. I want to do an episode on that, too, of who are the stunners? You know? - Biggest hogs in the world. - Yeah. - Where you usually are like, "Oh, I wouldn't picture that." You know? I wouldn't picture fucking... Who is the Mondale? Like Walter Mondale to have a huge cock. You're like, "Oh, fuck." All right. 'Cause who's the biggest cock in President's history? Was it LBJ? - It might be LBJ. - Yeah. - Why don't we think that? - There's some wild stories by him, by the way. - His dick? - No, that he used to like, because, so what he used to do is he used to have like, aids in people like that taking notes for him, in the room with him while he was taking a crap. - Oh yeah. Yeah, he was taking a shit. - He was like a really weird dude. - Yeah. Well, he didn't want to waste time. That's what he said. He goes, "Look, I'm gonna be shitting here for about 20." Like, why waste this time? Somebody's gonna have to come in and take notes. - Well, according to the chat here, our friend Dan Cummins on his show, Time Suck did a whole episode about LBJ's cocks. - Did he really? - I love Dan Cummins too. - Love Dan Cummins. - Best in the biz. - Love stories about cocks, so I'll probably go check that out. - Refer to it as Jumbo. - His cocks? That's what he called it. - Jumbo is his nickname. - Wow. - Yeah. - I'll text Dan onto this show. I love him, his show. Fuckin' Dan, dude. That's awesome. - And of course he did that. - And you've got a show too. - What's the name of your show? - So my show is called The Create Your Own Life Show. It's over on YouTube. And we talk about, you know, what are the rules of, you know, the game of life so you can play 'em better. So we talk about a lot of, you know, scary stuff, world politics. We talk about the economy, like things you need to know so that you know what those kind of minefields are out there so you can play the game of life better. - Okay. One of those is just knowing about your brethren's cock. You know? And for you, like I learned today, you said it was average, but you said it was efficient, so. - Efficient. - Yeah. Oh, he's got his third kid on the way, actually next week, I think, right? - Well, in the next couple of weeks, yeah. - Is it real? - What's that? - Your kid. - Absolutely, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Do you remember that night? - I got two daughters and we'll find out 'cause each kid we've kind of been like, we'll wait till it's born and see if we're getting, so. - Okay. - Got a boy name and a girl name. - Well, I think you're actually supposed to wait until they're three or four years old and let them decide. - No, that's a kindergarten teacher that picks up. - Oh, my bad. - I have no idea, I'm not a parent myself, so I don't know when you choose. - Are you a biologist though? - Could be. - Could be. - I've got a master's degree and something completely different, yeah, so. Why not? - It just depends on how he feels that day. - That's the craziest part to me though, dude. Like, gender is kind of the easiest thing to say, yes or no one and people are actually fighting about it. It's like, it's not fucking Baskin Robbins, man. Like, you are what you are. - I'll say what I said earlier, all these problems are solvable. And if they don't, like, if you can't say what a man or a woman is, boom, you're out. - You got problems, man. - You're just gone, you're just launched out. - Just forget you're good. - Refused to participate in people's delusions. - Yes, and if somebody answers like that, you launch them out of the country. - Yeah. - That's it, that's all you do. Appreciate you tuning in, kids. Weird show, and I like it. I like it today, dude. I like when there's weird days like this. I enjoy your whole shit. You know what, mama said there'd be days like this. She sure did. She also said go to iTunes, rate the show of five star and leave a quick review. And then head over to Spotify. It's just a five star, and you can walk away at that point. For Anthony Anthony Holloway, I'm Ross Patterson. This is Drinking Bros, podcast. Good night, everyone. 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